034: What Fruit Does a Country Bear?

[00:00:00] Speaker A: I have a question. You made a comment in one of the last shows about cactus. What was it? No, it wasn't cactus. It was. I want to say celery. Celery and bigger wads. Or celery and. Yeah, what. What's the. What's. What's the thing behind that? That I don't know. [00:00:20] Speaker B: That's. That's the. The. The theory. I don't know if it's substantiated or not, but it's particularly funny if it's not true that celery juice makes you shoot bigger loads. I believe Tommy Lee said that, and I think we all know that Tommy Lee knows what he's talking about. [00:00:43] Speaker A: I was just curious if that's what I heard. Right. [00:00:46] Speaker B: Yeah, no, that's. I said that because you said pineapple juice, and I thought you were making a specific allusion to another myth. [00:00:57] Speaker A: No, that's exactly what I did say, which makes sense why you said what you said, and then as I re. Listened to it, I was like, Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Back that up. What's this about celery juice I hear. [00:01:13] Speaker B: Where are my keys? [00:01:16] Speaker A: Can't find the nearest Jamba Juice. Yeah. [00:01:23] Speaker B: Welcome to Pseudonyms, buddy. [00:01:25] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:01:26] Speaker B: The JJ saga, like it or not, has continued. [00:01:31] Speaker A: Really? [00:01:33] Speaker B: Yeah. I don't know if you want to. [00:01:35] Speaker A: Hear about it or not. I do, but I see you're fully shaven. Did you go on an interview? [00:01:41] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:01:42] Speaker A: How'd it go? [00:01:43] Speaker B: I did. I had my second interview. [00:01:46] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:01:47] Speaker B: And I got a job offer. [00:01:49] Speaker A: Yeah? [00:01:51] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:01:51] Speaker A: You taking it? [00:01:54] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm taking it. [00:01:55] Speaker A: Fuck, yeah. Right on, dude. Congratulations. [00:01:58] Speaker B: Thanks, man. [00:01:58] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:02:01] Speaker B: Looks like I got a lot of stuff to do. They can't get me in to do my i9 stuff until, like, the 8th, so it's gonna be a while before I start. But. [00:02:13] Speaker A: That'S basically one week from now. [00:02:15] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, not too bad. I had to go get fingerprinted today over in Aliso Viejo. [00:02:23] Speaker A: Oh, yeah? [00:02:24] Speaker B: Yeah. Seems pretty serious. [00:02:27] Speaker A: You worried about that? [00:02:29] Speaker B: No, I'm. I'm, like, wondering what the hell takes so long. Like, it's gonna take a couple days to get the results. [00:02:40] Speaker A: It's like, share what they do for. [00:02:43] Speaker B: They just took my fingerprints? [00:02:44] Speaker A: No, but what is it? Oh. [00:02:47] Speaker B: Oh, it's a community college. I'm just doing tech support. Oh. [00:02:51] Speaker A: They just want to make sure if you. You can even be on school grounds and you're not limited, like, 500 yards away. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:02:59] Speaker B: Well, it's. It's a community college, so I Assumed like, there's no kids here. Right. I should be fine. This shouldn't count. These are full blown adults I'm dealing with here. [00:03:16] Speaker A: This shouldn't count. How's your week? [00:03:19] Speaker B: Not breaking any rules. Good. Good. Yeah. So I can't remember what I, what I said last week about where we were in the story, but long story short, JJ hits me up now. Jj, I guess we should give some context. We should give some context for listeners who, who don't know us personally and know exactly who we're talking about. [00:03:47] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. [00:03:48] Speaker B: JJ is the nickname that we've given to your second cousin, I believe, who you adopted for a while and he lived with you for, you know, most of his teen years and then went off to the Air Force and ruined his life. So he hit me up. [00:04:10] Speaker A: Well, you gotta give context to who he is to you. [00:04:14] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, that's right. So we all met at the same church. You were a youth leader. And then when you started bringing that retard around, we were the same age and we both played music, so we started hanging out. And then I briefly became his caretaker. Now we were, we were best friends for years and had a great time of it, but in the years since he's been in the Air Force, he has mentally shifted a bit from the guy I knew. He hit me up, asked me, you know, almost immediately, like within an hour or two if I still talk to you, and then basically said he was. [00:05:00] Speaker A: After, after the 10:00am text and, and all that stuff. [00:05:04] Speaker B: No, no, no. I'm catching up the, the listeners on like everything that I, I can't quite remember where I left off last week. So I. He says it's fine, whatever, he just doesn't want to have contact. And then he sends me a million texts the next morning while I'm fishing and I'm not looking at my phone. And it's just like, you know what, it does kind of bother me. And here's what he's done and here's why. He's a terrible person and you're a piece of shit for even talking to him. So it just goes nuts and it all ends with like, yeah, I gotta drop you. I can't have any contact with you if you're gonna have a, have a relationship with this guy. And so I was like, okay, whatever, you know, hit me up if you ever change your mind. I don't give a shit. And then he texted me like two days later. And this is when I blocked him. He texted me and I don't even know like how it started, it was just a long text about how like you need to learn a skill and get a job. You've got a child, people are counting on you. You're a fucking pussy. You're a loser. That's probably why you like talking to that guy so much. Which, which if it, if it wasn't so hurtful would be hilarious. That's a hilarious thing to say. If it wasn't so hurtful. So I blocked him and I saw that he followed me on Instagram at like the same hour, so I blocked him on Instagram. So I'm like, okay, he's dead. Perfect. We're free. Days and days of him copying and pasting the same message into emails, message messengers on apps that I barely even use. Every social media account, he's texting me from four different phone numbers. I don't even know how he has this many phone numbers. And what he said was, hey, you still have my guitar. I want my guitar back. You owe me my guitar. And you know what? So and so owes me money for car repairs that he never paid me back for. And, and since you talk to him, you should be able to get me that money. And then on the guitar he said, really don't want to have to take this to the court. So I've just, I've been blocking him phone numbers, emails, Facebook, Instagram, I'm sure, I'm sure there's Twitter messages that I haven't seen. He, he probably messaged me on Grindr for all I know. And so I, I did look it up, just out of sheer curiosity. Roughly seven years ago, by the letter of the law, that guitar was considered abandoned property. So not that I'm worried, but I. [00:08:18] Speaker A: Did. [00:08:20] Speaker B: I was just curious like if he really did like waste his time going to a lawyer, is there any sheisty lawyer in the country that would take him seriously and try to do anything about this? And I mean it was chatgpt, so take it with a grain of salt. [00:08:36] Speaker A: But no, I think that's right. [00:08:38] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, it was, it was about four years. He hadn't tried to get it back after four years. It was in my parents storage unit at one point. That's where he left it specifically. So it might not even fall on me where it ended up now. And, and I'm not even 100% sure I have it. I'm pretty sure it's in the garage. [00:09:02] Speaker A: I'm not even certain it's his guitar. He. [00:09:06] Speaker B: I believe he stole it from your brother in law, right? [00:09:12] Speaker A: Certain we're not even certain. All right, well, it's. [00:09:16] Speaker B: It's a 200 guitar. [00:09:18] Speaker A: Oh, it's not even a nice one. [00:09:21] Speaker B: Not really, no. [00:09:22] Speaker A: Not really, no. [00:09:28] Speaker B: Boy. [00:09:29] Speaker A: Hey, do you play guitar for your wife? No. Do you even play guitar outside of, like, doing worship? [00:09:37] Speaker B: I don't really do that anymore, but here and there. Yeah. I started giving a friend's son guitar lessons, so I've been playing a little bit of guitar just to get ahead of lessons. [00:09:51] Speaker A: But, yeah, I think. I think what you should do is, like, go sit your wife out by the fire, make some hot chocolate. Like, oh, you know what? I forgot the marshmallows. Go back in, come back out. Fucking strumming it. Come on, dude. Come on. Wooer again, bro. Go out there and start strumming that guitar. [00:10:12] Speaker B: I don't think she'd care. [00:10:15] Speaker A: You don't fucking. I don't know. You know what I mean? [00:10:21] Speaker B: Dueling banjos. You know what I thought you were gonna say is I should, like, make videos of me playing guitar and post them on social media. [00:10:35] Speaker A: Alright, here's where this would be funny because he did that for a little bit. He made videos of him playing guitar. [00:10:43] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:10:44] Speaker A: You should mimic the same video shot, buddy. [00:10:50] Speaker B: Yes. [00:10:51] Speaker A: You know what I mean? [00:10:52] Speaker B: Absolutely. That would be hilarious. [00:10:58] Speaker A: All right, well, now that we have vengeance out the way, what about love? [00:11:03] Speaker B: What about love? [00:11:05] Speaker A: I wish I knew that. [00:11:06] Speaker B: What about love? What is love? [00:11:11] Speaker A: Everybody knows that one. That's 9th of Roxbury. [00:11:15] Speaker B: Yeah. So I took the quiz a few days ago when she sent it to us, and then I didn't know that I was supposed to make my wife take it too. So I'm only. I'm only going on half the information here. [00:11:30] Speaker A: That's cool. You only read half the text you cut out. What? That's cool. You only read half the text and then you cut out. It was all the same text. He was like, take the text. [00:11:44] Speaker B: Got it. I must have forgotten. Or there's this hilarious American dad scene where they're at a prom and a bunch of pigs fall from the rafters onto the prom queen. And like, one bully looks at the other bully and he's like, you put pigs up there. It was supposed to be pig's blood. Didn't you read the book? And he's like, I didn't finish. I didn't finish the book. And he's like, you stopped reading after the word pigs? [00:12:15] Speaker A: Yeah, basically what happened right now, for sure. [00:12:18] Speaker B: I don't know how I missed that. Yeah. [00:12:19] Speaker A: All right, all right, well, let's. She wants us to state the date now. This is where we're at. Hold on. I want to say it's Chuck Woolery. [00:12:35] Speaker B: Chuck Woolery? Yeah, he was a game show host. [00:12:40] Speaker A: Yeah, he was for Love Connection. Be back in two and two, two and two. You're Chuck Woolery, my friend, in tonight's episode of Love Languages. [00:12:54] Speaker B: Okay. You're Cupid. [00:12:58] Speaker A: Kind of like that. I like how you said that and everything. You like up the mic with both hands. You're like. I mean, I was like, feet kicking behind you. [00:13:09] Speaker B: Yeah. Oh, man. Tummy time. Should I be doing tummy time on this podcast? [00:13:16] Speaker A: I think I have a couple times. Not really realizing when I go switch to the bed because I'm tired. [00:13:22] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, you've done that. [00:13:25] Speaker A: Today's date. [00:13:28] Speaker B: Is October 2nd. [00:13:30] Speaker A: Yeah. And for this episode, I figured I'd slow it down just a little bit and put on my telephone voice. [00:13:39] Speaker B: Okay. What is this? What bit is this? [00:13:43] Speaker A: This is Love Languages, man. [00:13:45] Speaker B: Oh, man. Yeah, I didn't. I got my results, but didn't get a lot of, like, extra information. [00:13:56] Speaker A: But did you know that you were. [00:13:59] Speaker B: I pretty much, yeah. [00:14:00] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah. So, like, I kind of did as probably a couple weeks before the test, I was realizing, like, what do I like about my current situation more than other situations? [00:14:16] Speaker B: And. [00:14:19] Speaker A: It was. I don't know, just how she verbalizes her herself. And that's when I was kind of like, oh, okay. Like, I'm not. So I always thought my love language was gifts. [00:14:29] Speaker B: Hmm. [00:14:30] Speaker A: And I think maybe that. Maybe that was the case. But I think after a couple years of asking for a certain type of gift, like a medium or silver, and they bring you, I don't know, a large and gold, you kind of just give up on the gift giver. You know what I'm saying? You kind of just, like, you know, I don't think I want. [00:14:51] Speaker B: It's okay that mine's not movie quality. [00:14:55] Speaker A: Dale got Hulk hands. You know what I mean? Like, so you're kind of. I don't know if we ever. [00:15:04] Speaker B: If we ever for any reason are together on Christmas. I'm getting you Hulk hands and I'm. [00:15:09] Speaker A: Getting you a genuine leather wallet. [00:15:14] Speaker B: All right. He was so bomb, dude. It's so funny. [00:15:21] Speaker A: I might. You know what? I might. I might get you. You know, make you feel like you're. You're in a time machine. I might get you like a 1970s Playboy. See, it's no good doing your year of birth, because I was thinking, get his year of birth. Playboy. But that was quality back then. [00:15:42] Speaker B: I gotta say.93, mean, you got some problems. Not a good. Probably not a good year for what I'm into. [00:15:55] Speaker A: All right. [00:15:57] Speaker B: You feel me? [00:16:00] Speaker A: I don't know if I want to. So are you talking about playboys too? Because. [00:16:07] Speaker B: Wait a minute. [00:16:08] Speaker A: Okay, because just so you seem like. [00:16:10] Speaker B: The culture, just like the style. [00:16:13] Speaker A: Got it. Just trying full nudity. So I mean, like. [00:16:17] Speaker B: Yeah, well, sure. [00:16:20] Speaker A: No clothes. Don't worry about clothes. [00:16:22] Speaker B: Yeah, but in 1993, this is like a blonde chick who kind of looks like a drug addict with a tiny ass. You know, that's. That's kind of what 1993 was about. Right. [00:16:34] Speaker A: And you're not into that. [00:16:36] Speaker B: Not really. [00:16:38] Speaker A: Okay. All right. When does your year hit? [00:16:44] Speaker B: Probably like 2010, 2011. [00:16:48] Speaker A: All right, so check. [00:16:48] Speaker B: That's when the culture woke up. [00:16:50] Speaker A: Check this out. We're going back before 93. That's what I said. Your year kind of sucks because it wasn't. Wasn't off. Yeah. Wasn't out. You know, a lot of shaved land ways there, you know, I mean, like, like you had a lot of shaved tarmacs, you know what I'm saying? In the 70s and 60s, you got full on afros. Yeah. I mean, so I think I'm gonna get you. Get you that for your birthday. [00:17:16] Speaker B: All right. [00:17:16] Speaker A: It's the treehouse. [00:17:17] Speaker B: My machete. I'll get my machete. [00:17:21] Speaker A: Stretch marks wants to go inside Katana. [00:17:26] Speaker B: Signed by Jesse Jackson. [00:17:28] Speaker A: None other dude, like, he brought up today. He's like, hey, I got your gift, but Randy Jackson. Yeah, Randy Jackson. But it hasn't arrived yet. I'm like, all right. Well, like, because he asked when my birthday was, and I told him September 1st. I was like, I already passed, dude. September 1st. And he's like, really? I'm like, yeah, no, come on, dude. Is it coming up? Isn't it like January, February? I was like, no, dude, pass. He's like, why didn't I know? Why didn't you say something? I was like, I'm kind of like you in the sense of I don't really bring up my birthday. And so he was. So his birthday came up and that's why we got this all started. So I got him like a. Like a cross necklace, has the Lord's prayer on it. You know, it's kind of cool. But I wanted to get him a bracelet. Instead I got him a necklace because all bracelets were online. And I thought his birthday was December. October 30th. Anyhow, he had mentioned, do you like swords? I said, do I like swords? First of all, my first thought was, what am I, 12? It's like, let's like, you know, what's the next question? Is your favorite movie Jurassic Park? Get the out of here. [00:18:35] Speaker B: So. [00:18:39] Speaker A: So I go, you know, how dare you? I said, I don't collect swords. I said, however, if it was gifted to me, I would hold it because of the. The, like, you know, the. What is it? I don't know that kind of feeling, but I'm sure it has some sentimental value to it. You know what I mean? So, yeah, but then he talked about, like, a katana, and I was like, okay, you're trying to gift me stepbrothers. Okay, okay, I'll take it. I'd keep. [00:19:11] Speaker B: Sure. [00:19:11] Speaker A: I'd keep a katana. Dude. [00:19:15] Speaker B: Are you sure that's what he's doing? [00:19:18] Speaker A: No, but I don't know. I don't know. [00:19:23] Speaker B: Is he at all autistic? [00:19:29] Speaker A: Is he autistic? No, he's. He's. He's. [00:19:35] Speaker B: Look at how crazy that was. Such a complicated answer. [00:19:43] Speaker A: Well, no, because, like, it's not so much. He's. He's like adhd. Like, he'll be talking to you, and then, like, all of a sudden, he's like, singing Cher or Paula Abdul. You know what I mean? [00:19:55] Speaker B: Okay. [00:19:55] Speaker A: And, like, anytime there's good acoustics, which. [00:19:57] Speaker B: He just discovered singing. [00:20:00] Speaker A: Yeah. Like, anytime he's like. He's in a somewhere alone and there's good acoustic. He does, like, high pitch, you know, I mean, like, singing, like, Ariana Grande over here. And he'll do it when we're all working, like guys are doing guy. And he'll just say, like, you know, like, he'll hit something like Whitney Houston. You're like, no, bro. You know, some Disney. The shitty part is when he sings Little. Little, but he'll go on Little Mermaid, and, man, I'm hooked. I'm like, isn't it neat? [00:20:31] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:20:34] Speaker A: I love the Little Mermaid song. That shit's good. [00:20:37] Speaker B: I. I was just gonna say, because I watch Love on the Spectrum, and several. Several of those guys are armed to the teeth with swords. They love swords. [00:20:49] Speaker A: Dude. [00:20:51] Speaker B: You don't watch Love on the Spectrum? [00:20:54] Speaker A: I don't watch a lot of tv. [00:20:56] Speaker B: Okay. [00:20:57] Speaker A: However, we have been. [00:20:59] Speaker B: Find you a clip. [00:21:00] Speaker A: Project Runway. Okay. [00:21:03] Speaker B: I always heard that was great. [00:21:05] Speaker A: Did you? [00:21:07] Speaker B: Yeah, I always heard it. I heard it from people that I didn't expect, and mostly, like, real punk rockers. [00:21:19] Speaker A: Really? [00:21:19] Speaker B: And that's when. That's when I realized, like, oh, There must be something to this show. I heard it from a guy that owned a local record shop. I heard it from Craig Ferguson when he was hosting a talk show. I heard it like, I heard it from random people like that. And I was like, I just don't think they'd be into like some horseshit reality show. There must be something really cool about this. [00:21:41] Speaker A: It was alright. It's pretty good. I mean, like, you fall asleep in the middle when they're selling the fucking clothes. Like, give me like two minutes of them, like going back, picking whatever material and then let me see what the finished product is, you know? I mean. [00:21:56] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:21:56] Speaker A: All right. So did you think. So you knew you were. What's your. What's your thing again? [00:22:05] Speaker B: Take a guess. [00:22:12] Speaker A: Words of affirmation. [00:22:15] Speaker B: No, man, that's gay. Physical touch. [00:22:20] Speaker A: Is it really? Physical touch? Yeah. That's cool. So let me ask you this. Next time you come and visit, if I'm real handsy, I just want you to know. I just want you to know I love you. What I mean by handsy is like, I'm not talking about I pat you on the butt, like, good game, buddy. No, I'm talking about like, I come up, put my hand on your shoulders, I'm standing next to you, like, you know. [00:22:45] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:22:48] Speaker A: As you're sitting at a table, I come stand next to you and put my hand on your shoulder as I talk to the table. [00:22:55] Speaker B: Yeah. No, I wouldn't be freaked out by that or anything because it's you. [00:23:02] Speaker A: Yeah. And when you're sitting on the couch watching, like the game at the end of the night, I'll come up, give you a nice massage because, you know, you're the man of the house. [00:23:09] Speaker B: Yeah. Little head job. [00:23:18] Speaker A: No, that was too gay. Too gay. Just. Okay, one hand. [00:23:21] Speaker B: This is escalating. [00:23:24] Speaker A: All right, so. So what was your second. What was your second one? [00:23:30] Speaker B: See, it didn't give me that. So I don't know if I took it wrong or it didn't give you. [00:23:37] Speaker A: A percentage of all five gifts. [00:23:41] Speaker B: Let me check. [00:23:44] Speaker A: All right, while you check, I'll give you. I'll let you know what mine was. Okay. Mine was words of affirmation. [00:23:52] Speaker B: I thought it would be. I thought it would be that or quality time. [00:23:56] Speaker A: No, and the quality time is fourth on my list. [00:24:00] Speaker B: Really? [00:24:01] Speaker A: No, quality time is third. It's mine and her third on the list. And then receiving gifts for both of us was last. And then. [00:24:19] Speaker B: Yeah, that's that. I mean, I would have to guess that's last for me. I can take the quiz again real quick. [00:24:25] Speaker A: No, no, no, no. Let's see. Hold on. [00:24:27] Speaker B: See if it'll give me that. [00:24:28] Speaker A: Yeah, mine's words of affirmation and acts of service. Hers is physical touch and words of affirmation. And then my acts of service is number two for me, and it's number four for her. [00:24:46] Speaker B: Something has gone terribly awry because these aren't even in my trash. There's nothing in my email. [00:24:54] Speaker A: Government's on to us. Okay. Shouldn't have done that. Conspiracy Theory 1. All right. How you know you're getting out there? You know, government starts fucking with your email, you're getting out there. You know, I mean, you're falling on some ears. [00:25:10] Speaker B: We've got a hundred thousand listeners. [00:25:16] Speaker A: All right, so did. Did any of those results surprise you at all about yourself or did you kind of like. No, I knew. I knew gift giving was last night. Physical touch, number one. What was number two? What would you say number two is for you? You got quality time. You got your words of affirmation and you got acts of service. Where were those three fall. [00:25:43] Speaker B: It's gotta be quality time. I don't care about acts of service. So. [00:25:54] Speaker A: So let me ask you, how come you spend so much time alone? Nobody in your house to let you. Why? Yeah. [00:26:06] Speaker B: But what do you mean? I'm never alone. [00:26:10] Speaker A: You're alone at least a couple hours on a Wednesday. Yeah. [00:26:14] Speaker B: Cause I love myself, number one, right here. [00:26:22] Speaker A: I'm loving myself right now. [00:26:25] Speaker B: All right, so, yeah, I'd say like quality time, words of affirmation. Third. But we're already getting into, like, stuff I don't care about. [00:26:36] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:26:37] Speaker B: And then acts of service, and then gift giving would probably be last. [00:26:41] Speaker A: Okay. Or gift receiving. Yeah, yeah, I'd say mind's words. So here's one. One of the questions she asked that kind of want to get to. But let's just go through them because it's a good question and this is kind of where I'm at. Do you feel you are receiving your love languages accordingly. First of all, thank you, number one, for putting this together. [00:27:04] Speaker B: Yeah. Yes, thank you. [00:27:10] Speaker A: No. I was gonna guess no because of your wife being so sore to your touch. [00:27:18] Speaker B: Yes. Hold on one second. [00:27:32] Speaker A: That's long. One second. [00:27:35] Speaker B: Sorry. To three seconds. [00:27:38] Speaker A: You send me something? Yeah. Oh, so am I on speakerphone? [00:27:47] Speaker B: No. [00:27:47] Speaker A: Okay. All right. So do you spend a lot of quality time together, by the way? For those of you don't know, I just received two texts informing me of information that someone was in the room. Okay. So that's why that was the shift in what just happened right now, if you're wondering. [00:28:09] Speaker B: So, yeah, we can clean that up in editing. [00:28:13] Speaker A: No, I like it. [00:28:16] Speaker B: Well, I mean, the question I would pose is, when you have a two year old and your whole day is chasing around a two year old, what is quality time? You know what I mean? [00:28:32] Speaker A: Hey, so is this. I'm stuck. I'm stuck. We're gonna come back to what you just said. I'm stuck for a second. Has this atmosphere that you're currently in dictated Your answer about 1993 Playboys? [00:28:50] Speaker B: Probably how I worded it. [00:28:57] Speaker A: I thought it was a little. I was like, man, okay, okay. He's okay. Right on. Okay. [00:29:02] Speaker B: No, no, I'm. I'm saying. I'm saying. [00:29:05] Speaker A: I know what you're saying. [00:29:06] Speaker B: You just said the culture. The culture, the zeitgeist, the miasma, whatever you want to call it, was not hip to thick goth girls until at least 2010. That's what I'm saying. [00:29:23] Speaker A: All right. Okay, so fast forward. When you have a little kid that's two, and you're chasing around. Yes. Not a lot of quality time. Okay. Which was kind of. So do you. What kind of. What kind of time you spend with your. Your wife throughout the week, would you say? [00:29:43] Speaker B: Our best. I mean, it's not like there's no time together because we're together all day. Yeah, but we're just handling a psychotic gremlin. [00:29:57] Speaker A: Yeah, but that's the current situation. So what quality. Now we're talking not about. No, we're not talking about time. What quality time do you guys get on average per week? [00:30:08] Speaker B: I would say our best time is after she goes to bed. We watch tv. [00:30:15] Speaker A: Why can't you just summarize it with hours per week for me, bud? [00:30:19] Speaker B: Hours. Eight. Eight hours a week. [00:30:22] Speaker A: That's good. Okay. All right. Hey. That's all I wanted. You know, he's giving me time frames and schedules. Well, normally she. [00:30:29] Speaker B: I didn't know what you were asking. [00:30:31] Speaker A: She gets up and eats and then. [00:30:32] Speaker B: I thought you were asking, like, what do you do? [00:30:35] Speaker A: No, no, no. But you watch your movies. That's good because I often have the most enjoyable time with Miami. Just sitting on the couch watching TV and just bullshitting. [00:30:47] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:30:52] Speaker A: So do you feel you're receiving? You do feel like you're receiving? Well, no, past that one. I forgot the text came through. Do you feel you are per. You don't know what her. [00:31:02] Speaker B: Well, I mean, I can. I can answer it. [00:31:04] Speaker A: No. Okay. I appreciate your Honesty. That's what the show's about, so I enjoy that. Do you feel you don't know if you're providing? Do you know what her. Would you. Could you guess what her love languages are? Before you state if you're providing, it would. [00:31:23] Speaker B: It would have to be acts of service. [00:31:25] Speaker A: Yeah. Physical touch last. [00:31:30] Speaker B: Probably. Definitely. Wait, hold on, hold on. We got words of affirmation. [00:31:35] Speaker A: Receiving gifts. [00:31:38] Speaker B: Gift giving might be less. [00:31:40] Speaker A: Okay. [00:31:43] Speaker B: But it. It'd be a fight to the death between that and physical touch. [00:31:54] Speaker A: All right, all right, all right. So do you feel you. You provide acts of service? [00:32:01] Speaker B: Yes. [00:32:02] Speaker A: Okay. [00:32:04] Speaker B: I do. [00:32:05] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. That's what the question was. [00:32:09] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. Me doubt the feelings mutual. [00:32:15] Speaker A: She's gonna want to listen after this. All right, so. So for me, hers is physical touch and then words of affirmation. Definitely. I definitely think she meets mine. I meet hers just naturally. So that's the cool part about it. And you're like. [00:32:37] Speaker B: You're like bunnies on ecstasy. Yeah. [00:32:41] Speaker A: And shrooms. Okay. [00:32:49] Speaker B: Give or take a blue chew. [00:32:51] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:32:52] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:32:57] Speaker A: Okay. So you don't think there's any room for improvement on your end because you're meeting it. [00:33:03] Speaker B: Oh, no. I mean, I definitely should be better. [00:33:07] Speaker A: At it. [00:33:10] Speaker B: But, you know, I think that, like, when you're again, just chasing around. Yeah. You're all day. That's all you're doing. Really. [00:33:21] Speaker A: Yeah. No, I get that, because that's part of my answer of why I think I do meet hers and do I need to. I mean, we can all always, always improve. But I mean, like, I think as of right now, I'm meeting hers, and it's in the sense of, like, one, I don't want this to stop, so I'm intentional about it. Two, we don't have kids. You know, I mean, like, we're both now kind of like in our. Our waiting to exhale phase. You know, I'm saying, like, and we're exhaling, and then we're inhaling, and then we're exhaling really fast. No. So. Yeah. And I don't think she could improve. I'm not gonna ask you about yours. We. We have all smack around the ass. Like, give her do that. Smack it. [00:34:20] Speaker B: I would, but it's too far. [00:34:22] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah. When they walk away real quick, it's hard. Why do you think those results for those love language. Okay, here's what. I'm just gonna skip to it, because this thing's eating me alive, and I think it's okay. It's like the Second to last question. How you want. Do you think you have these results because it's how you want to be loved normally. Oh, wait, that's okay. How you want to be loved normally reflects how your parents did or didn't love you. So the fact of, like, physical touch. Were your parents very affectionate? Like, in. In a touching sense? Feel like your dad would be. [00:35:07] Speaker B: No. [00:35:08] Speaker A: Almost to the point where you'd have to, like, get a restraining order. [00:35:12] Speaker B: No, that's a more recent thing for him. [00:35:16] Speaker A: Okay. He's probably missing. Yeah. [00:35:22] Speaker B: What would you say he's missing? [00:35:30] Speaker A: Mom. He's probably missing mom. You know, it's a little handsy now. He's like, come here, son. I love you, buddy. You're such a good guy. Wow, you've been working out. [00:35:45] Speaker B: Oh, God. [00:35:46] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:35:46] Speaker B: It is like that. [00:35:47] Speaker A: I know it is. That's what I'm saying. That's why I thought you grew up literally. [00:35:52] Speaker B: No, it was never like that. Literally. The other day, I, like, he got so fucking close to my face while he was, like, whispering something to me. Just something that doesn't. It doesn't need to be whispered. That's the thing that really kills me. It's like, can you say hi, good morning when you get it, when you get a chance, I just need you to move your car because the trash cans need to go on that curb. You know, it's like. That's. Does it. Okay. So I literally stepped back because it's like, buddy, you're in my face. Like, it doesn't need to happen like that. And then he's like, what? What's the big deal? And I'm like, you don't need to get that. And then he did it again. He got back because he. [00:36:49] Speaker A: He's trying to break you, bro. He will. So I. I actually think I like the words of affirmation and then acts of service because of. Yes. My parents. [00:37:09] Speaker B: Yeah, I. I could definitely say that I dislike the ones that I got from my parents. I don't like people doing things for me. I don't like gifts, you know? Like, I don't. I don't like any of that stuff that they were really good at, but. [00:37:32] Speaker A: It'S a different kind of love, dude. It's crazy. It's a different kind of love. Like, it hits you differently than normal. [00:37:40] Speaker B: What? What? [00:37:41] Speaker A: Parent love? No, no. Yes. But receiving love from a different individual that you're not accustomed to because of your 18 years under your parents law of love. [00:37:54] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:37:55] Speaker A: You don't mean, like you're conditioned A certain way. And then you get out and you meet someone that's like, hey, thanks. I really appreciate you. Hey. Like, I love you. [00:38:03] Speaker B: Hey. [00:38:03] Speaker A: Like, you know, and they're telling you stuff, you're like, wow. Like, you're hitting something different inside internally than you are. I mean, it affects externally, don't get me wrong. But internally you're like, okay. Like, I'm not used to that. And it feels good. [00:38:23] Speaker B: Yeah. I'd say my mom and her are very similar with the acts of service. Like, my mom, all she wants is like, oh, could you do this for me really quick? You know, like, that's what she's always asking for, you know, and my wife is the same way. So, like, I'm. That's familiar to me. [00:38:50] Speaker A: You were finding yourself wanting to strangle your wife when she asked. [00:38:53] Speaker B: Absolutely. Every single day. Yeah. No, no, it doesn't. It doesn't really bother me. I just don't like receiving it. [00:39:03] Speaker A: Yeah, you don't like giving the gifts. I don't like being around the receiving end of. Can you get that for me? [00:39:11] Speaker B: No, Like, I mean, I don't like receiving gifts. Like my. No, no, not gifts. It's acts of service. Mostly. My dad, I think, conditioned by my mom, mostly. [00:39:25] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:39:26] Speaker B: My dad just, like, waits on everyone hand of foot. Just like, oh, let me take that. Oh, let me get that for you. Let me and my sister and I fucking hate being waited on. Like, we don't like people doing stuff for us, you know, Like. Like, if he sees me. If he sees me walking up to the front door, he'll, like, get up really quick and, like, unlock the door for me and usher me in. And it's like, I just. I just want to come in and not make big. But, you know, that's cool, though, dude. [00:39:56] Speaker A: Because I feel the same way. Like, people at, like, company events, as I get up to take out everybody's, like, plate because they're done eating. Oh, look at me. I'm. And it's like, no, that's really not it. Like, I'm blessed by being able to, like, pick up your guys's plate, dude. You know? [00:40:14] Speaker B: Yeah. Like, I. [00:40:15] Speaker A: But if you want to get to the brass tax of it, why the didn't you pick up my plate? I'm higher than you. You should have picked up my plate. I'm trying to show you what you should have done. That's kind of sometimes how I feel. [00:40:26] Speaker B: Because I'm a leader. Because I'm a leader. Why is he screaming in that guy's Face. [00:40:34] Speaker A: There was a guy, one of the guys. They're like, oh, look at you. Just. Just sit there chilling all day. I'm like, look. Or I went home early. He's like, yeah, some of us off to work. It's not my fault. You chose your career path, bro. Yeah, don't put that on me. I chose this one. You chose Worker B1. Okay. [00:40:55] Speaker B: Yeah, that's true. It's true. You are ultimately responsible for wherever you are in life. [00:41:04] Speaker A: For reals? [00:41:06] Speaker B: Yeah. And I believe that despite what a terrible situation I am, you would think the first thing I would do would be to jettison the idea that I'm responsible for my circumstances, because you would think it would be too painful to bear. You would think that it would be near suicidal to believe such a thing. [00:41:31] Speaker A: You love what you do, do you not? I don't do anything but the career that you're in. Yeah. [00:41:40] Speaker B: Yeah, I like it. [00:41:42] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, it's my favorite. [00:41:43] Speaker B: It's my favorite thing I've done so far, but it doesn't touch what I like to do. For hobbies. [00:41:50] Speaker A: Yeah. Well, I mean, that's why they're hobbies. [00:41:54] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:41:54] Speaker A: I've. [00:41:55] Speaker B: I've just never been the kind of guy who, like, wants to talk about work outside of work. It's just never been something special to me or something captivating, you know? [00:42:08] Speaker A: Yeah, but you love what you do. You're just in a bad circumstance, dude. I like what I do. Huh? [00:42:14] Speaker B: No, but I like it. [00:42:17] Speaker A: Oh, you don't love it. [00:42:18] Speaker B: Easy. [00:42:22] Speaker A: Dude. I'm where I'm at. And, yeah, I spent a while sleeping on a floor while she slept on the couch because we didn't have any furniture. We sold everything to make rent. Like, you know, Shoot. I was laid off for, like, three months this year, and it was sucked. [00:42:36] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:42:37] Speaker A: You know, it happens to everybody, dude. [00:42:41] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:42:43] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:42:44] Speaker B: But it. It gives you. In the good times, it gives you a little bit of ownership for your success. In the bad times, it gives you something to strive for, because what are you really gonna do about your current circumstances if they're not ultimately up to you? [00:43:03] Speaker A: Yeah. For reals. And at the end of the day, if you're not learning something from the negative circumstance, you're just wasting time. Like, this is honestly when people could take advantage of those moments without the distraction, the extra time. You know what I mean? Like, I would challenge you to start getting up and, like, you're gonna be going to work in about a week, you know? I mean, your first week, you want to be Proper. You want to go in ready to go. So you should start getting on a work sleep schedule now. [00:43:38] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:43:39] Speaker A: So you're not struggling Day one, two and three, just like, fuck, I'm so tired because I couldn't fall asleep till fucking midnight. [00:43:47] Speaker B: Yeah, you're right. [00:43:50] Speaker A: But no, I mean, I get what you're saying too. Like, no. Yeah, you're. You're like. You're also like. You have a personality, like an artist. Like. No, I really don't talk about that shit. Once I leave, like for me it's like it's half my night. You know what I mean? [00:44:10] Speaker B: Yeah. And I think that's why, because when you do things and I said hobbies, that's not really, you know, fishing is a hobby. But when you do, when you like play music and write books and you know, make illustrations and stuff like that, anything you're doing for a paycheck is just something you've got to get through today. You know, it's just. It doesn't come anywhere close to creative. [00:44:40] Speaker A: Yeah, for sure. You got a creative spirit about you. So it's like work for you. Is that where I like to be creative? But like I need constant change up. I need like that's. I like construction because I'm not at job sites usually more than three months and then I'm on another one and I like that aspect. And then I just kind of dredged through the ones where I'm there fucking year. I hate it. Alright, so. So we think how we're loved now does relate to how our parents didn't love us or did love us. I mean, it's either one or the other one. [00:45:23] Speaker B: I never really thought about that. But yeah, once, once you kind of laid that out for me. I saw that pretty clearly. [00:45:29] Speaker A: Yeah, I think I realized it probably a couple weeks ago when I was trying to put my thumb on what is different about Miami. Like, what is different about her? And I'm just so. I find more appreciation in her once I thought about it. And then I was thinking like, well, shoot, I guess my parents never really, you know, like I was the servant boy, you know, I mean, so Acts of service was like. When you did it for me, it was kind of like the peasant being served by someone better. So you're like, wow, you're just like shit, like that's cool. Like you see me, you know, I mean, like. And then words of affirmation I think are, you know, self explanatory. Just, you know, stuff that you wish your parents would have told You. That you're gonna tell your kid. You know, I mean, like, you know, you missed it. Yeah. [00:46:25] Speaker B: All right. [00:46:28] Speaker A: Aside from what gives you happiness, what causes you pain? Well, the opposite of you're not talking to me when you're not wanting to do for me or with me or whatever, because quality time is right up underneath there. I don't know, I feel like. Yeah, that's like you just, I think, being unseen. Unseen by the one who's important to you. [00:46:57] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:46:57] Speaker A: Because I could relate to kids, too. Like when. When number four gets so involved in her games and I just kind of want to spend some moments with her. You're like, you. It's almost like you see yourself fading out of her fucking book. That's how I picture it. You know what I mean? Like, you see him less and less in the chapters. [00:47:20] Speaker B: Fuck. That's. That was terrible what you just said. Oh, man. I went. We. We have a membership at this play place. It's kind of like, like the old school, like fast food places, but it's the whole building. Yeah, yeah. Multiple levels, slides, all this stuff. [00:47:41] Speaker A: We got one out here, so I. [00:47:43] Speaker B: Nice. I wonder if it's a franchise. I never thought about if there was. [00:47:48] Speaker A: Like, Empire or something. [00:47:50] Speaker B: No, I won't say the name, but it's the only one around, so people probably could figure it out. But I took her there today and we stayed for the full two hours. You get two hours a day. [00:48:03] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:48:03] Speaker B: With the membership, we've never stayed more than like, an hour, but we stayed the full two hours. And I went everywhere with her because she's too tiny. So I was like, up in the top level, where I can't. I was like, crawling and hunched over. [00:48:18] Speaker A: When she gets old enough to run, continue to take her there and play tag. [00:48:25] Speaker B: That would be. They have a blast. [00:48:27] Speaker A: I love the fact they let parents go in those things. [00:48:31] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. There. There were a few weird moments. Definitely a few. [00:48:36] Speaker A: When the other parent came up and said, would you put down my kid? [00:48:42] Speaker B: No, no, there was. There was one moment. It was always like, she's always going where there's other people. And that's just, like, so opposite my nature. Like, it's just. Let's go to the thing no one's on. You know, like, no one's on the trampolines. Let's go over there. But she's always, like, getting up in other people's business. So there were just so many moments where it was like, don't worry, don't worry. [00:49:05] Speaker A: I'm. [00:49:05] Speaker B: I'm Not a white supremacist. I'm just. I'm up here with my daughter. You know what I mean? Like, this bald guy with tattoos just shows up in the third story of your play place. You know, you're a defenseless single mother alone up here. You know, it's just. I could tell some people were uncomfortable, but I chased her a couple times, and I would, like, pick her up from behind and cradle her and cover in kisses, and she's laughing her ass off. And I just thought to myself, how hilarious would it be if that wasn't my kid? But all that to say we had a really good quality time today. And to think that, I don't know, she's seven years younger than number four. Yeah. So, like, in about seven years, she's gonna start to be like, could you give me a minute, please? [00:50:04] Speaker A: Yeah, dude. [00:50:06] Speaker B: Not long enough. [00:50:07] Speaker A: And then through a muffled door. Yeah. You're like, when she start closing her damn door, you know? [00:50:15] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [00:50:16] Speaker A: Yeah. Horrible times. All right. [00:50:23] Speaker B: Well, now that we're good and depressed, right? [00:50:25] Speaker A: Dude, we're getting phased out of stories. [00:50:29] Speaker B: All right. [00:50:30] Speaker A: How might warped perception of love affect receiving a gibby love? What's warped? So I got an answer. [00:50:47] Speaker B: Okay, go ahead. [00:50:48] Speaker A: You are receiving gifts last. And because maybe receiving gifts is my love language, let's just say I tend to pursue you by buying you gifts instead of taking a step back and actually asking, am I loving them? Correctly. I'm just assuming I am because I'm loving them how I like to be loved. [00:51:17] Speaker B: Mm. [00:51:18] Speaker A: So I think that's one way for sure. [00:51:21] Speaker B: Yeah. And it's almost a form of service where you have to. It's not like you're just gonna give them everything that you wish you had. You actually have to kind of humble yourself. Think, like, and put yourself in the other person's shoes and wonder, like, what do they want? What do they need? [00:51:44] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:51:44] Speaker B: You know, and it's almost like a servant mentality. Even though it might not be the acts of service. [00:51:50] Speaker A: The other one is manipulation, when you have to control a situation. I mean, sometimes even to the degree where you just stand in front of the door and you tell her she's not going anywhere. [00:52:07] Speaker B: Is that wrong? I've been doing that. [00:52:12] Speaker A: I do have a friend that did that and got. You know him. His ex wife is married to our friend. [00:52:23] Speaker B: His ex wife is married to our. Oh, okay. [00:52:29] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:52:30] Speaker B: I take issue with the word friend, but okay. [00:52:35] Speaker A: You don't like him. [00:52:37] Speaker B: I could take. If we're talking about who I think we're talking about. I could take him or leave him. [00:52:41] Speaker A: Yeah, T. Oh, no, no. [00:52:46] Speaker B: I was talking about A. Oh, hey. [00:52:50] Speaker A: Now I'm kind of curious where A is. [00:52:53] Speaker B: JJ's brother in law. Oh, the listeners hate this. The listeners hate what we're doing right now. Move on. [00:53:03] Speaker A: Okay. [00:53:04] Speaker B: I was talking about the story. [00:53:06] Speaker A: Did you know T's wife's ex husband? [00:53:11] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:53:12] Speaker A: Okay. [00:53:12] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:53:13] Speaker A: So he like stood in front of the door and told her, like, no, you're not leaving. We're going to talk about, like what's going on tonight and kidnapping. [00:53:22] Speaker B: Right. [00:53:23] Speaker A: It will. Not only that, but it was a hostage situation. So he got. He got hit with. Charged with holding a hostage. So I think of better hostages. Yeah. But at the end of the day, his intent was, let's talk about what just took place. We're not gonna run from this. [00:53:47] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:53:48] Speaker A: And yet, you know, he gets holding the hostage. So I guess it could be warped in that sense. You know, if they're not ready to talk, don't force them. Yeah, I think bury him under a stem wall. [00:54:07] Speaker B: I have to Google stem wall. I don't think I ever actually got a visual. [00:54:11] Speaker A: You were saying while you do that, I'm walking the halls and Rico Suave comes up and he's like, so you bury big country under a stem wall, huh? I go, what? I go, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You do? Yeah. You know, you. Sometimes you have to. And he's like, big country. Why, why? Why you call her big country? [00:54:38] Speaker B: Oh, let me tell you. [00:54:40] Speaker A: Just take off the tree, bud. [00:54:43] Speaker B: Take off the tree. She's a few trees short of a country. What fruit does a country bear? That's what I would ask. That could be. That could be the title. [00:55:03] Speaker A: That is the title. What fruit does a country bear? Oh, that was good, dude. For a second I was like, country, huh? And then it was like, oh, country. I was good. I like that. I don't know what? Empathy? Not empathy, but apathy. Her last one says confusing apathy with simplicity. [00:55:27] Speaker B: Oh, apathy is like lack of emotion. [00:55:32] Speaker A: Oh. What about the ones that are too emotional? You ever see those saps? [00:55:39] Speaker B: Yeah, that's terrible. [00:55:44] Speaker A: Is that you? [00:55:44] Speaker B: I just like. No. [00:55:46] Speaker A: Oh, you really got kind of like ser. Is it? I don't know. [00:55:52] Speaker B: I don't think of myself as emotional at all. [00:55:55] Speaker A: Okay. Okay. So who do you know? [00:55:57] Speaker B: Anger. Anger and lust. If those are emotions, sure. [00:56:02] Speaker A: Well, I'm hyper emotions. The ones that are like always like. Like a puppy dog. Have you ever really. Have you ever seen someone like that? That's like. Just follows them around like, I love you. They want to do everything for them. They want to. They're constantly reminding them that they love them. My mom's second husband is like that. That. [00:56:23] Speaker B: And also just like, I don't know. If your wife tells you a story I. About what happened that day, I don't know if, like, I could never personally be like, oh, my God, honey, that's so terrible. [00:56:40] Speaker A: You know? [00:56:41] Speaker B: Like, I could just. I could never put myself. [00:56:43] Speaker A: Miami will talk to me. I'll ask her about her. [00:56:45] Speaker B: If it was really up, then, yes. If she got cut off in traffic, I'm. I'm more likely to get angry than I am to be like, oh, yeah, dude. [00:56:56] Speaker A: Like, speed up and cut his ass back, you know? But, yeah, when she calls and I'm like, hey, how's your day? And she's like, oh, you know, it's just so this. It's, you know, we got. We got this going on and this going on. If she's overwhelmed, no matter what it is, I'm always like, I'm sorry that you. I'm sorry that, like, that's happening to you. I'm sorry that you feel like that right now. That sucks. It sucks that you're having a shitty day. No one deserves a shitty day. But I'm not, like, I'm not. I'm not gonna lie. I'm in on the gossip. You know, I know what cowboys are. [00:57:25] Speaker B: Doing, sure, but it's not syrupy, right? [00:57:29] Speaker A: You're. [00:57:29] Speaker B: You're not like, oh, my sweetie, no. You don't turn into a gay guy all of a sudden just like, oh, that's terrible. That's awful. Oh, my poor baby. No, I could just never. [00:57:41] Speaker A: It's just one finger. [00:57:43] Speaker B: It's just, hey, wake up. Wake up. If you don't wake up, it's two fingers. [00:57:58] Speaker A: Talking about hers, not mine. She knows I can't take two fingers. [00:58:06] Speaker B: Whatever. Whatever. It would be funny to dildo yourself with her hand while she's passed out. [00:58:16] Speaker A: Oh, right. [00:58:18] Speaker B: God, I, I. I leak like a faucet when I'm laughing. It's hilarious. Hey. [00:58:28] Speaker A: A lot of these, we can't really ask you because you didn't get your partner's input. [00:58:33] Speaker B: Yeah. Do you think it's important to understand. [00:58:37] Speaker A: Do you think it's important to understand your. Your partner's love language? [00:58:42] Speaker B: I already do. [00:58:44] Speaker A: But do you think it's important? [00:58:46] Speaker B: Yeah, I. I'd say so. [00:58:49] Speaker A: Depends what you're looking for in a marriage, I guess. [00:58:52] Speaker B: I've been A little hypocritical on that. Why would you say that for? Well, because it's clear that, you know, my love language is not met with any seriousness and so I just get angry. [00:59:11] Speaker A: Listen to you say that, bro. [00:59:13] Speaker B: Why? [00:59:15] Speaker A: That sucks, dude. For you for sure. [00:59:18] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. It's not ideal, but I think that like, makes me angry and makes me go like, well, fuck it then. [00:59:27] Speaker A: Okay. [00:59:27] Speaker B: Yeah, no, I wasn't really listening. What would you say? And I think that like, perhaps being more in. In tune with hers might. [00:59:41] Speaker A: Make. [00:59:43] Speaker B: No. Or make her better at mine. [00:59:47] Speaker A: That's what I'm saying. It might change yours, like your situation. Like, not that your love language is gonna change, but she might actually be like, wow, like I'm falling in love with this guy who, you know, rubs them off. I don't know. [00:59:59] Speaker B: I don't know if it's like that. No, I don't know if it's like that. I don't think that it's like a lack of love thing. [01:00:07] Speaker A: No, I don't think it is a lack of love. But at the same time, it is way different when you know someone's mean, meeting your needs. Way different. Yeah, you're seen. Like, that's the different part of it. You're seen again. You know, your love language, whether you consciously know it or not, you kind of know what your love language is instinctively. Maybe you can't put words to it because you've never sat down and thought about it, but you know, you respond better to what's hers. What is hers? Quality time. [01:00:40] Speaker B: Probably acts of service. [01:00:41] Speaker A: Okay. You know, hers is acts of service. She. She responds better to acts of service than receiving gifts is where I was going. And then when she starts seeing the acts of service, she actually starts to feel seen without knowing why she feels seen. Which. Yeah, might change your evening nightcaps, if you know what I mean. [01:01:06] Speaker B: We could hope. [01:01:06] Speaker A: I mean, I mean, would she at least rub one off on her chest or something? You know. [01:01:16] Speaker B: If that's the thing. She. She is so non sensual that I would feel ridiculous in that situation. You know what I mean? [01:01:32] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:01:33] Speaker B: There have been. There have been girls where that would have. [01:01:37] Speaker A: No, no, we're at. Where we're at. If you start doing more, we gotta take. We. [01:01:42] Speaker B: We have to take what we can get. [01:01:46] Speaker A: But if you start doing wise. [01:01:47] Speaker B: That's a true. That's a leadership thing. That's a leadership. Maybe I'm just saying that just makes that just. That starts to make me feel so pathetic that I would rather just forget the whole thing. [01:02:03] Speaker A: Yeah, I get that too. [01:02:05] Speaker B: That's why this isn't working. That's. I'm the problem. [01:02:09] Speaker A: Do you. [01:02:09] Speaker B: Do you see? [01:02:11] Speaker A: Do you know what. What has been sexy has been sexy is when they, whether they like it or not, play with themselves while you were outright watching them. That's a good one. Maybe she'll do that. [01:02:28] Speaker B: No, but you can imagine what it would be like. Nah, she won't. She won't do that. [01:02:39] Speaker A: All right, will she take, like, nude pictures for you so you get at least. No go to the bathroom? No, no, none of that. [01:02:50] Speaker B: I'll send her a picture of my dick every once in a while, just as a joke. Do you really see if. If she would ever. Do you really just. Yeah. Oh, yeah. [01:02:59] Speaker A: Oh, that's great. That's. That's one I haven't done yet. No, I think I'm gonna do that tomorrow. [01:03:06] Speaker B: You should do it right now. You should confuse the. Out of her. I thought you were doing a podcast. [01:03:14] Speaker A: Hey, wouldn't it be weird? I go to do this and I just flip the camera around on accident. All right, let's see if this works. [01:03:29] Speaker B: I want to see her come in. [01:03:32] Speaker A: She. Oh, never mind. I can't tell you. [01:03:36] Speaker B: Okay. She has gotta hate it when you do podcasts at her house. [01:03:43] Speaker A: See, I would have liked to start. I can't. That was the thing I told her. I said, there's no way I could do that while talking to him. There's just no way. I was like, that ain't. That's not. That's not possible. That's gonna take great concentration. [01:04:01] Speaker B: Oh, wait, wait, wait. Talk about a Bill Clinton under the table. [01:04:09] Speaker A: So, yeah, so just hold on for that pic right now. I look like a little 10 year old. She's gonna read. Just. She's gonna unread it just so she can go to sleep before I get in there. [01:04:28] Speaker B: That's hilarious. Yeah. Now I do that just with the hopes that she'll, like, you know, get a clue and just do it back. But now she. She would never do that. [01:04:38] Speaker A: She just puts it in junk mail. [01:04:41] Speaker B: I don't know. I don't know what she does with them. [01:04:45] Speaker A: She should, because you're showing her junk. [01:04:49] Speaker B: I hope she actually starts an only fans and makes some money off of them. [01:04:56] Speaker A: Hey, fee finder. Start a dick finder. [01:04:59] Speaker B: Yeah, that would be great. [01:05:02] Speaker A: Start dick finder. Dude, tell me that wouldn't take off Dick finder. [01:05:08] Speaker B: There's gotta be. [01:05:08] Speaker A: It's just dick pics. There's websites. I'm sure there's websites, but an easy to easy open app. What. [01:05:21] Speaker B: We don't do left or right. [01:05:24] Speaker A: It's up and down. [01:05:27] Speaker B: Yeah, up and down. You're at the bank trying to get a loan. No, no, no, no, no. We're not swiping left or right. We're swiping up and down. [01:05:42] Speaker A: You got this, dude? [01:05:44] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:05:44] Speaker A: I think you should start it. I'll. I'll swipe a couple. [01:05:51] Speaker B: Yeah. Has she responded to you? [01:05:59] Speaker A: Maybe not. That was just you. Because I didn't open yours. Nope, not at all. Ouch. She's probably asleep. She hates going to bed without me. So I did take a sleep test. Based on. Yeah, based on some footage that may or may not be out there. About me sleeping. Oh, yeah. So I fell asleep. [01:06:30] Speaker B: Did you, like, go to the actual facility? [01:06:33] Speaker A: No, but I fell asleep on our lap. And I don't know if you ever recorded somebody on your lap, but it's not far away. Like, the cameras, like right here up in my face. And it's just me snoring. So I did a sleep test. They sent me. It was a watch with a thumb ring that attached to the watch to record. Digital watch, computer thing. Then I had a thing I had to place on my chest monitor, strap it around, and it connected to a thing that went up in my nose strapped around my face. And I probably got the worst sleep because of this fucking device. So I'm like, they're not gonna get accurate readings. They're gonna get readings of a man that knows whenever he turns over, he's got to make sure that fucking thing is up his nose. So that tests right. So he's like. He's light sleeping. And that's all I did for three days. I just light slept. [01:07:39] Speaker B: I would have thought you'd get used to it after a day or two. [01:07:43] Speaker A: Well, you had to do the test for one day minimum. Of course. Best results at three days. But they prefer one to two. So I did all three because I felt like the first one, the mask, I think I turned off the device on my chest somehow. Day two and three, Day one was like the lightest sleeping. Every time I turned, I would, like, fix it and put it in my nose. Day two, I was a little better, but still light. And the. The damn thing, like, I'd wake up and it'd be on my eyes, you know? I mean, so then. So I'm like, fuck, dude. So I have to fix it. And then day three, I slept probably the hardest. But I don't know, man. I feel like they're gonna look at it and be like, this dude never sleeps every time he turns over. [01:08:35] Speaker B: That might be. Well, one, you might really be sleeping that lightly every night, but because you've got this thing on, you're noticing it because you're already sleeping light. [01:08:49] Speaker A: No, it's like, you know when you sleep with a girl for the first night, you're really light. You're like a light sleeper enough to where, like, you're ready to go for round two whenever they are. [01:09:01] Speaker B: Mm. [01:09:02] Speaker A: So you're a little lighter. Like, you're not in a full fucking, don't wake me up, earthquake kind of sleep. You're in, like, a sleep where, like, you. You're up when she gets up out of bed. You notice she got up out of bed? [01:09:13] Speaker B: Sure. [01:09:13] Speaker A: You know, we're now, like, what, she gets up at 7. You don't know she's up, you know, till about 10:30, 10:45, reach over and you're like, oh, shit. She's been up for a while. [01:09:29] Speaker B: But that. They might be measuring other things other than how deeply you're sleeping too. [01:09:36] Speaker A: Yeah. I don't know what they're measuring. I know they're measuring heart rate and then the breathing apparatus for, I guess, breathing. So that's where I was confused. Like, this thing at my nose is recording some type of breathing. So when it's on my eyes, do you guys think I died? You know what I mean? Like, are you only noticing I'm alive because there's a heart rate attached to this thing? [01:10:00] Speaker B: You actually died between 3 and 4am yeah, we've contacted the Pope. It could be a miracle. [01:10:10] Speaker A: Yeah. And then they give me. They're like, you. You can't do the mouthpiece. Yours is too crazy. You gotta wear the fucking bang mask. I'm not doing that. [01:10:18] Speaker B: Mmm. [01:10:19] Speaker A: I'm not. Dude. Dude, we tried to get intimate last night. I had that fucking thing up my nose. Could do nothing. Nothing. I sat there and I was like, I don't feel sexy right now. I really felt like, pretend it's. [01:10:33] Speaker B: It's an underwater breathing device and she's a mermaid and you've come to plunder her village. [01:10:40] Speaker A: I wish I had it still. I would try that. But no, dude, I told her, I. I'm sorry. I don't feel sexy right now. I just don't. [01:10:48] Speaker B: Are you shitting me? [01:10:49] Speaker A: I'm dead ass serious, dude. I was like, I'm sorry. I just. I don't feel sexy with this bracelet and this apparatus on my chest that's connected to my face. No, I'm good. [01:11:00] Speaker B: I'm pretty sure I could still do it in overalls with a straw hat. [01:11:06] Speaker A: No, I took it off and started my chest later. I turned that shit off right away. Yeah, I got. I got it. I'm sorry. So. No, no. It looks like I'm rubbing it in. Huh? [01:11:20] Speaker B: No. [01:11:20] Speaker A: Okay. Just want to make sure. I just thought about that. I was like, dude, he's probably sitting there, like, damn, they probably touched so much. [01:11:31] Speaker B: They seem to really love each other. God, that's so great for them. No, I don't feel that way at all. So no results from the. [01:11:46] Speaker A: No, I just mailed it back today, actually, so. Okay, we'll see. But the doctor's like, you know, not many people get the mouthpiece, so you might have to get a cpap. And I'm like, no, no, no, you're not. You're missing what I'm saying. I'm not wearing that shit to bed. She's like, why? I was like, because, one, how are you supposed to look sexy to the person you're trying to, like, get crazy with? 2, I've heard of stories where when people come to work, you know, they wear one of those because you can see the outline on their face. I was like, I'm not gonna be that guy. [01:12:20] Speaker B: I think they make some that aren't as tight. [01:12:24] Speaker A: Well, that's what she said. She said that guy needs to get refitted for his mask. [01:12:29] Speaker B: Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Apparently I snore really bad, but I've never. Never been aware of that until the last few years. [01:12:42] Speaker A: I told her the same thing. I don't snore. [01:12:45] Speaker B: Yeah. Oh, you snore fucking crazy. She's like, yeah, the worst snoring I've ever heard in my life. [01:12:54] Speaker A: See, that's the thing. People always say that, but I don't hear it. [01:12:58] Speaker B: Yeah, you don't hear it because you're dying. [01:13:10] Speaker A: Hey, are those those? Oh, no, I thought those were the ones that wrap around your ears. Nope. I don't do well with earbuds. No, no, they get my ears all waxy, bro. Like, it seems like my ears more waxy when I wear them. [01:13:30] Speaker B: Like a wet wax, pulling it out. Yeah, yeah, that gooey stuff. [01:13:35] Speaker A: Yeah. And I clean my ears, like, every day. I let the hot water run in them, put the ear. [01:13:40] Speaker B: That might be your problem, letting the. [01:13:43] Speaker A: Hot water run because the. [01:13:45] Speaker B: Loosens up your ears. You're not supposed to clean your ears. Stop. [01:13:49] Speaker A: Yeah, stop. [01:13:50] Speaker B: It's bad Bad for you. Whatever's in there to protect your eardrums from. [01:13:56] Speaker A: I'll leave enough. I'll leave enough. I don't ever touch my eardrums. [01:14:03] Speaker B: All right? [01:14:05] Speaker A: You don't ever get like. [01:14:06] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, you just. You just want to have. You want to be prone to ear infections and die of sleep apnea. Whatever, dude. You do. You. [01:14:16] Speaker A: You don't ever get the earwax, like. [01:14:19] Speaker B: Here, where it's all like. [01:14:21] Speaker A: I think. [01:14:22] Speaker B: I think I did it first, but I'm going on two years of having these babies in almost all day. [01:14:28] Speaker A: Wow. [01:14:29] Speaker B: So my ears just used to it. [01:14:32] Speaker A: That's why your dad's whispering to you? [01:14:34] Speaker B: Yeah, probably. [01:14:37] Speaker A: Yeah. He doesn't miss mommy. [01:14:40] Speaker B: I'm definitely harder of harder of hearing than I used to be. [01:14:46] Speaker A: You're gonna realize you wish you. You're gonna wish you wish, you're gonna wish. You wish. You wish you took care of those things, dude. [01:14:55] Speaker B: Yeah, I agree. I wear earplugs at concerts now. [01:15:00] Speaker A: I got a guy that does this everywhere. [01:15:03] Speaker B: I do that all day. I do that all day. [01:15:05] Speaker A: What? Do you really? [01:15:08] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [01:15:09] Speaker A: With the hand behind the ear and everything. [01:15:12] Speaker B: I might point to the ear or. I'll do this. [01:15:15] Speaker A: Wow. You're your parent. What'd you say? You should be in that commercial, that fucking progressive commercial. Guys, like, try and teach them not to be their par. [01:15:23] Speaker B: They don't do that. [01:15:24] Speaker A: The pointing to the ear is a total parent move. [01:15:27] Speaker B: My. My parents don't do that. [01:15:29] Speaker A: What? [01:15:31] Speaker B: Like, I do love those commercials, though. [01:15:35] Speaker A: Yeah, they're great. We don't talk to people while they're in the restroom. [01:15:38] Speaker B: All right, take. Take us. Take a silly one. Now pretend you're holding up the buildings behind you. [01:15:50] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:15:51] Speaker B: You're watching tv. You're not supervising it. Sit down and relax. My dad does that every day. He'll just stand five feet from the TV like a toddler. [01:16:09] Speaker A: I got nothing else, man. I'm dying. [01:16:12] Speaker B: Yeah, I. Yeah, I thought we'd get a little more out of that, but. [01:16:19] Speaker A: Someone didn't do their thing. [01:16:20] Speaker B: Nope. It's mostly just sad. There's no intimacy. My daughter's gonna hate me in a couple of years. I'm fading fast from her life. [01:16:33] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:16:34] Speaker B: Just like my dad. My best friend's gonna die of sleep apnea. [01:16:40] Speaker A: Yeah, it's go. It's all gonna go quick, dude. You're gonna sit back and be like, it just seemed like yesterday we were talking about sleep apnea. [01:16:49] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:16:49] Speaker A: While you stand on the TV, you're gonna be telling someone while you're standing five feet from the TV. [01:16:57] Speaker B: This. This. This is October 4th. [01:17:07] Speaker A: Dude. What's up? [01:17:10] Speaker B: It's just nuts that it's 2025 and it's almost 2026. I've known you almost 20 years. [01:17:20] Speaker A: 2025 went by like a flash. 20 years? [01:17:23] Speaker B: Yeah. Absolutely. [01:17:24] Speaker A: Yeah. How old are you? [01:17:27] Speaker B: 2006. 32 this month. [01:17:32] Speaker A: Damn. You were, like, 13 when we met. [01:17:36] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:17:38] Speaker A: For the record, you told me you were 18. [01:17:43] Speaker B: Yeah, I tricked him. I'm going to jail. Have you seen. Have you seen that Louis CK? It's a real. It's probably on TikTok, too, but it's the quadruple misdirection. Okay. It's. It's a bit that I've heard, but I didn't realize until they put on the screen, like, one misdirection. Two misdirections. Three. So he says, I'm. I'm having sex with this girl, and she keeps calling me Daddy. And I tell her, don't do that. Yeah. I'm, like, truncating the bit a lot, but I tell her not. Not to do that. And she's like, why? Why do you not like that? Is it because you have daughters? And he's like, no, it's because I have a father. Okay. One misdirection. And I. I used to call him Daddy when he fucked me. Two misdirections. He's like, oh. And everyone's laughing. He's like, oh, yeah, that's really funny to laugh about me getting fucked by my dad. I wasn't laughing because I was coming. Three Mr. Shakes that. He's like, it's okay. I made him do it. [01:18:54] Speaker A: 4. [01:18:55] Speaker B: Mr. [01:19:02] Speaker A: I felt like. Felt like he was good. Did he ever kind of see a backlash from his, like, constant jacking off in front of other comedians? [01:19:14] Speaker B: Are you kidding? [01:19:16] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:19:16] Speaker B: Yeah. He was banished from society for years. [01:19:20] Speaker A: Feel like he's back, though. Like, it's. It's almost like. [01:19:24] Speaker B: Yes and no. He's. He's back, but, like, he has bought all of his stuff, like, the rights to all of his shows and his comedy and stuff. He's not getting Netflix deals or major movie pictures or any. Like, he's doing everything himself. So, like, he's back in the sense that we can see him and stuff, but, like, he's not an insider in the industry anymore. Like, he was, you know, you're not going to see him on Jimmy Fallon, you know. [01:19:55] Speaker A: Well, yeah. Well, I guess Fallon's better than Kimmel. Yeah, you're right. You're Right. [01:20:01] Speaker B: Yeah, but like, who even gives a. About that whole world? [01:20:04] Speaker A: Yeah, I just. I felt like he's being. His bits are being used again in like, clips, other people's clips, like montages of clips where. There was a time where I felt like he wasn't. It was like taboo to have him in anything. [01:20:21] Speaker B: Definitely. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if you've seen that first special after he. After he was cancelled. It's just so funny how he handled it. He comes out to everyone's cheering. It's a big theater. And he's like, hey, so how was your guys last couple of years? Did any of you get into global amounts of trouble? [01:20:47] Speaker A: I had a question for you that I think had to do with him. I forget. No, it's not coming to mind. But, yeah, I do. [01:21:02] Speaker B: You said reels. What's your favorite? [01:21:05] Speaker A: Dave Chappelle. Stand up. He's done quite a bit now, man. [01:21:11] Speaker B: I. I really think Sticks and Stones is probably my favorite now. I tried to watch Killing Him Softly. I know that that's like, considered the greatest of all time. I think it's very much a product of its time because I tried watching it a couple years ago and was like, yeah, I'm not really seeing, like, what's so great about this, but, like, I think if you saw it when it was new, it was like something pretty crazy. [01:21:41] Speaker A: All right, well, we can move on then. [01:21:45] Speaker B: But I do love. I do love some of those bits. Me and Ryan Kelsh would always say to each other. We'd always go, I'm sorry, officer. I didn't know. I couldn't do that. And yeah, the bit about his white friend asking directions from the cop saying, sorry, officer, I'm a little bit high. [01:22:11] Speaker A: I like the Sesame Street. [01:22:12] Speaker B: Maybe if I watched. Yeah, I should watch it again and just see. Maybe it was just like the first 10 minutes. [01:22:19] Speaker A: That was kind of what I called the elephant in. In Sesame Street. A junkie. Hey, bird. I was like, that's exactly who he is. He's like a down elephant. [01:22:33] Speaker B: Yeah, that's almost exactly the impression that he does in Sticks in Stones when he shoots the junkie in the kitchen. Why is your dick out? [01:22:47] Speaker A: All right, man, I'm gonna hit the sack. I'll send this over to you. It's been great. [01:22:52] Speaker B: All right, thanks for listening, everybody. [01:22:55] Speaker A: Keep me updated weekly on the the Next saga. [01:23:02] Speaker B: Well, I haven't heard from him in a couple of days, so I think we've exorcised this house of all demons. But you know, I feel like I should burn some sage. [01:23:15] Speaker A: Yeah. You know, I feel like he's gonna go back to the big country and they're gonna talk and he's gonna have more ammo, and he's gonna come back trying to fire some other stuff. I just don't know anymore, you know? [01:23:30] Speaker B: It sounded like they were talking for sure, for sure. [01:23:34] Speaker A: And number four told me. I said something about her buddy, and I said, oh, yeah, but, you know, I know your mom doesn't really see him anymore. And she goes, oh, she still sees him. I was like, oh, I don't. I don't care. Swear. She's like, no, no, no, she still sees him. I'm just saying she still sees him. That's all. I was like. Good to know, though. Good to know what I'm playing against, you know? [01:24:00] Speaker B: I'm saying you've got a man on the inside. [01:24:04] Speaker A: I know, right? I love this kid. [01:24:08] Speaker B: Now wait for the absolute perfect time and then throw that interface. [01:24:14] Speaker A: She says you lied to her four times. She counts them. Yeah. [01:24:23] Speaker B: Okay. I will keep you up with. Keep you up to date with any shenanigans on that front. [01:24:28] Speaker A: Yeah, well, we maybe even make it a corner. You know what I mean? Yeah. [01:24:32] Speaker B: Maybe if I was to. You know what? I should probably unblock him and. And indulge him a little bit, and I probably get some pretty good material out of it, but probably. [01:24:44] Speaker A: Good. We'll call it Chucky's. [01:24:45] Speaker B: I don't need the drama. I don't need drama. [01:24:49] Speaker A: I love you, man. I hope you don't get any more drama. [01:24:53] Speaker B: All right, I love you, too, man. Have a good week. [01:24:55] Speaker A: You too. Bye. [01:24:57] Speaker B: Bye.