005: Guilty Feet Ain't Got No Rhythm... Y'know What I Mean?

[00:00:01] Speaker A: Yeah, I think we got pretty close. [00:00:02] Speaker B: You're. You don't even give an effort, though, bro. You kind of. You, like, wait for me to clap, and then you're like, snap. [00:00:11] Speaker A: Hey, I'm the one editing it. [00:00:14] Speaker B: I don't worry about it. [00:00:16] Speaker A: All right, so cold open. Cold open. We're gonna list the house soon. Yeah, yeah, we talked to the realtor, obviously. Like, my dad's the real owner. [00:00:31] Speaker B: The realtor. [00:00:33] Speaker A: Like, both of our names are on it. So, like, I have to handle everything out here. But, you know, he's. He's good with it, and it just seems like we just have to clean so much to get pictures taken and get the open house. [00:00:51] Speaker B: I will say this. I don't care what any of you guys say about. About that, man. He's never done me wrong. Like, I honestly enjoy being around your dad, as crazy as it is. I remember when we hung your TV in your house, and you were like, no matter where you hang it, he's gonna sit down and be like, what the fuck? Are you trying to kill me? Like, you're like, you're gonna have me, you know, I have to sit here and look at the ceiling to see the tv. And I was just like. That always stuck with me because I'm like, yeah, it's about right, you know? But, yeah, I love that guy, dude. I love him. All right, well, welcome to Synonyms, everyone. [00:01:36] Speaker A: Pseudonyms. [00:01:37] Speaker B: My co host. Let me introduce. Did you say, let me introduce my co host Chaz? I said pseudonyms. I don't know who I am tonight, but my co host, Chaz will introduce me Alan tonight. Alan. So I was going between Thomas, Chaz, and Kyle, and Chaz just seemed to be, like a red flag name. [00:02:09] Speaker A: I've. But I feel, like, slightly less douchey than Kyle. [00:02:13] Speaker B: You'll be Kyle next episode for sure. But this episode, I figured Chaz. Chaz with the Z. And I actually, I don't know what. What Sonny and Cher's child's name is, but I thought it was Chaz, and that's who I think of. And tonight you're Chaz, because I think it's a red flag name for sure. Which ushers in our topic tonight. [00:02:35] Speaker A: You're. You're 100. You're 100. [00:02:37] Speaker B: Yeah. Which ushers in our topic, red and green flags. [00:02:40] Speaker A: I. Yeah. So I came across this article and I thought it would be hilarious but then also insightful for us to go through this article that's titled stay single until you find a man with these 35 green flags. And we're gonna see if we can scrape one. Wow. [00:03:03] Speaker B: Okay, so. Because when I Googled this, I stumbled across wikiHow and wiki how had 35 red flags for a man. And you, you know, you might find this hard to believe, but the red flags for men is like three times as long as the red flags for women. Yeah. Yeah. Because I. I do believe that. Yeah, I do too. So. All right, so, you know, let's. Let's jump into this a little bit. [00:03:39] Speaker A: Because there's a lot to cover if we're not. Do you. Do you think we'll cover red flags for women? Because I'm dying to hear. Like, your top. [00:03:47] Speaker B: Oh, dude, I got. Just before women, I got sexual preferences. I got definitions for love bombing, because that's one of the red flags. And so, you know, I really wanted to know what was crazy about love bombing. And then I also have 10 types of partners. God will never say you're. You're. That are the one for you, which you. [00:04:12] Speaker A: You wrote that or you found? [00:04:13] Speaker B: You know, I stumbled upon it a couple weeks ago, and I sent it to my daughter. And some of them are obvious, but I did notice that you see some of these in the. In the. In the Christian church today. You see. You see some of them in the Christian church today. And not to plug Sean Ryan show, but Sean Ryan has a lady on name Diana Paluska. I might be messing that all up. That's a good listen, bro. That's a good listen. Like, this lady has studied religion, and from her studies of religion, stumbled a lot upon a lot of sightings that popes were having or. Or priests were having in the medieval times of things in the skies that we're seeing today in the sky. And it made her one of the people that people actually reference for movies when they're trying to create something real. But her story is amazing. And there's a lot of stuff in the Bible where she said she went to this certain school that a lot of people that were going to this school were going into ministry. And she said a lot of them actually walked away from the faith knowing that not everything. Not everything, not everything that you should believe is in the Bible. And that there were all these different documents that were floating around the church at the time that strengthened her faith but made others walk away from it. Crazy story. [00:05:57] Speaker A: Huh? I'll check that out. [00:06:01] Speaker B: Yeah, it's pretty cool. You know, I listened to very few of his. They have to be intriguing. But. So let's. What got you down this Journey of Green and what's up? What's up, Darrell? [00:06:12] Speaker A: Sorry. Before we get into it, I think your announcement got cut off, and I just. I do want to say I was editing episode two today. I know I'm behind, but I'm almost done editing it. And we were. We were talking about your job search, and you were just saying, like, I know God is good, but it's just, like, difficult to see what he's doing right now. And then what happened last night? [00:06:40] Speaker B: All right, so. And I appreciate you circling back, because it's. It's definitely exciting. I had a buddy who came over who's VP of construction. I had my little birthday get together, which was just me wanting to open an inexpensive bottle of whiskey that was gifted to me and have some cigars and play. Get. Play Risk. Risks never happened. I'm not one of those guys that is like, hey, we said we were gonna play Risk. We ended up getting into conversation. Yeah, fellas. Yeah, yeah. My sister's like that. You know, like, we're gonna do this. We're gonna make time for it. I'm like, guys, if we don't get around to Risk, it's not a big deal. More importantly, I want to enjoy cigars with. With some good friends that have been with me through this journey. And so we sat and we talked, and he was like, hey, like, you know, start the application process with my company. And so I did, and they offered me really good pay, but it was going to travel. And at the time, it was the best pay offer to me, you know? And so I had. I had an offer for 105. I had an offer for 115, and then I had his offer for 139, plus 2% bonus based on my 130 portion of the salary. So I did the math, and I'm like, oh, it's only. That's only 3,000 more. You know, if that. So I'm looking at maybe, you know, 140something, because 9,000 of its per diem. And per diem is where you get paid to be on the road. They give you untaxed money for food and stuff. Yeah. [00:08:15] Speaker A: But just. [00:08:15] Speaker B: Yeah. And so I was looking at that, and I'm like, okay. And then this guy. I met this guy, and he said, hey, look, you know, I got a small company, been in business four years, got some really good contracts. I'm just looking for the right people to make this thing go. I can offer you 120 company truck, gas card, but I also pay bonuses on you'll get 5% profit. You'll get 5% bonus on profit of every job that you touch. And so he goes, for instance, this job down here is $400,000 profit, which means I would see 20,000 as a bonus. And I said, okay, and I'm in town. So I kind of looked at that. I was talking to my kids because they are very important on my decision. And my older ones were like, travel. Like, like, do your thing, travel. But there are things. I get the out of here, but there's things I've wanted to do, you know, like there's men in my community that have been wanting to do a Bible study. And I'm like, how am I going to do that if I travel? However, the guys I would be living with could technically be a Bible study. You know, they could. They could see me live my life. And I'm like, okay. Then I'm thinking, well, all my free time is going to be in Denver because my week, I'm only home every other weekend. So the weekends I'm off that I don't come home, they're going to be spent in Denver. And then the weekends I am home, like where my friends are. I'm going to be investing in my kids. I'm not going to be worried about my friends. And so I just kept thinking about it. And so those two kind of came down to it. I'm really thinking about them. I'm contemplating. I found myself praying. Like Lord James says, ask for wisdom and expect it. So I'm praying for wisdom and I'm expecting it. And I said, lord, this is how I'm expecting. I'm expecting a vision in my dream. I didn't get that. But what I did get was like a great feeling inside of me hoping that the traveling job would call me and say, hey, something's come up. We're not ready to hire right now for whatever reason. And so I was like, well, that's my answer. You know, like, my answer is that. So I accepted a position with the local company with the gas. The company truck gas card and the, and the 120 a year. And, you know, I'm excited. I start Monday, so. Really excited about that. Yeah. Yeah. [00:10:41] Speaker A: Awesome. Really happy for you. [00:10:44] Speaker B: Thank you, man. Appreciate that. So how did you stumble across this? 35 green flags for a male. [00:10:51] Speaker A: Were you. [00:10:51] Speaker B: Are you, Are you. Was it on a dating site? [00:10:53] Speaker A: I'm really excited to get into that. I just got to know what you're smoking. [00:10:57] Speaker B: I'm smoking a Gurkha. [00:10:59] Speaker A: I gotta Know what cigar? [00:11:00] Speaker B: I'm smoking a Gurkha right now. It's. It's. It's a Gurkha. I don't know. [00:11:06] Speaker A: I. You know what? You've always liked those. And I, I couldn't get into it. I don't know. [00:11:11] Speaker B: So it's not. It wasn't by choice. The. For that night of my birthday celebration, the. The. The VP of construction for that company, he had asked me, he said, hey, can you pick me up a cigar? So I picked up a Patel and a Gurkha and, you know, like $18, you know, just something mid range. And so that's what I picked up. And my daughter's boyfriend ended up bringing me a. A David off and a Patel Red Dragon anniversary year. And so I was like, you know what? I'll save whichever one he doesn't choose to smoke for for our podcast tonight. And that's kind of where it went. And so, yeah, so I'm smoking their Gurkha as he chose the Patel. But, yeah, yeah, I'm excited, man. It was a good night, man. I'm drinking this blueberry Hanjun or whatever is Hanjon. So I'm in rare form tonight. You know, I've been, you know, he brought it home about an hour and a half before, before this podcast, and I was like, let's have a good time. You know what I mean? I always welcome a good time. So did you stumble upon 35 or 36 green. Red flag. Green flags for men while you were on, like, dating apps or what? [00:12:46] Speaker A: Yeah, no. I heard another podcast go over this, and it was. I thought it was a really interesting list because typically, like, I don't know, there's just ones that you always hear, like, how does he treat Waitstaff? That's one you're gonna hear on every single list. And I don't. I don't know if it's on here, but it's not like the first one they get to, so it's like. It was just a little more interesting, like the green flags that they wrote out. So I thought it would be good, you know, interesting for us to go over it. [00:13:19] Speaker B: I will share. I listened to this. It's a talk radio show where they do like, Second Date whatever and Second Date Update or something like that anyhow. And it's. It's some weird name. It's like Jan and Podell or something like that. I forget the name, but they had a guy on there that was like, hey, like, so and so emailed us and said that you guys went On a first date. She really enjoyed you. She wanted to know, like, why you haven't called her in a couple weeks. And he was like, first of all, who are you guys? So, so they get past all that and he goes, are you serious? And he's like, yeah. He's like, let me tell you how she talked to the wait staff and this is not the first time. Like, this is twice I've heard someone say, let me tell you how she talked to the waitress. And the first time he was like, she didn't like fish that swim. And he's like. So I'm like, what do you mean fish that swim? And she goes, you know, and she made the little hand thing, you know, wavy, like fish that swim. And he's like, okay. However, the other chick that treated the waitress bad, the waitress is her friend and it's what they do. And she basically said, if a man lets me treat the waitress that way and doesn't step up, she goes, I know I'm good looking. Shows if he doesn't say like, hey, you're being a little ridiculous. And he's just going with whatever I say because I'm, he thinks I'm hot. He's out. Like it's a test, it's a clear test on whether he's out or in. That's the smart way. But yes, how you treat other people is a red flag in, in, in what I've researched. [00:15:04] Speaker A: Yeah, for sure. Yeah, it's. I've. Man, my ex girlfriend was so awful to wait staff. It was. [00:15:16] Speaker B: What were you talking about? [00:15:17] Speaker A: Yeah, it was. [00:15:22] Speaker B: Yeah, that's why I asked. I knew it had to be. Dude, she had some, some Wally Mopp on her, bro. [00:15:35] Speaker A: If she could hear that, those feet would be dangling off the ground. That would have ruined, ruined her life to hear that. [00:15:45] Speaker B: I, I remember when we, when we all ate at Lucille's barbecue and I, I, she was wearing sandals and I was like, damn, those are big ass feet. Like, those feet were big. [00:15:56] Speaker A: That was like a 9 or a 10. Men, I think. [00:16:01] Speaker B: Yeah. Good job though. I mean, I would have her, I. [00:16:10] Speaker A: Would have supported you. [00:16:12] Speaker B: I'll just leave, I'll just leave that right there. For sure. As a married man, you gotta just leave it there. You're like, yeah, for sure. Good job. [00:16:22] Speaker A: There's definitely. I'm handcuffed here a little bit. But you know, I'll just say I would support your endeavor if you ever get around to that. [00:16:34] Speaker B: No, I would never, man. I don't, I don't, I don't do exes, friends, bro or ex's girlfriends Dakota live by. [00:16:45] Speaker A: So there is one. So you do have one. So you do have a code. [00:16:55] Speaker B: What are you talking. [00:16:57] Speaker A: You're not. You're not a complete degenerate. [00:16:59] Speaker B: I got. Look, look, look, look. I'll give you my. I'll give you my three codes, okay? And. And my reasoning behind them, all right? I don't where I eat, okay? So I don't. I don't screw girls in my community for the reason that they're in my community. So if we don't work out, I don't need them up future shit. I don't dip my Pen & Co. Inc. [00:17:22] Speaker A: These are so campy. [00:17:23] Speaker B: I don't sleep with, you know, I don't sleep with co workers. You know what I mean? So that just. That just kind of defiles the. Makes the waters messy. And I also don't sleep where I creep. So if, like the cigar lounge I go to, there are some really beautiful women there. I will never flirt with them. Why? Because I like to go to that cigar lounge. So I don't. I don't do things with women on places I frequent or spend a lot of time at, because if it doesn't work, I don't need them muddying the waters. [00:17:58] Speaker A: Makes sense. [00:18:02] Speaker B: Yeah, it's a. It's a loose coat. It. But it's there, you know, it's more of a guideline than a code, you know? [00:18:11] Speaker A: All right, well, take it away. [00:18:13] Speaker B: All right, so I do. I do have some stories to go with some of these, but. [00:18:18] Speaker A: Perfect. [00:18:19] Speaker B: Where. Where are you at with. With green and red flags? And what. What do you. As far as your green flags? We'll. We'll get there. As far as your red flags, what. What is a married man did you ignore? Because I know is when I dated, I ignored certain red flags. Well, maybe we should cover the red flags before we talk about what you ignored in your wife and what she possibly ignored in you, you know, to make you guys successful. Okay, so some of the things I looked up and, man, this seems to be a big one. It really is. Apparently. Like, I don't know if we talked about it in our previous podcast or if we were just talking about it on our own, but there is a website that women use. Yeah, okay. [00:19:02] Speaker A: We talked about it on the podcast. [00:19:04] Speaker B: Okay, so apparently my ex wife found an old good friend of mine that I met in. In this. In this city on. Posted on that website. And the female was like, yeah, like we were really into each Other. We were texting and so forth. And then the question got brought up on, you know, if I'm Democratic or Republican or who I voted for. And she said, I voted for Biden. And she was like, this dude went off on me on why Trump's right and why. And. And, like, just totally went off. And now. And I can relate to that because coming out of my. My separation, I dated a. A. This might sound weird. I didn't think it sounded weird till I said it the other week to somebody else, and they kind of. No, I don't think that's weird. I think that's a blessing. [00:20:00] Speaker A: Now. That's cool. That's cool as hell. [00:20:04] Speaker B: Especially if they don't know it's a tranny. I mean, it's like, I got a secret, and nobody knows. I mean, if they look like a dude, it's. It's kind of a giveaway. But if they look like a chick, you're kind of like, yeah, you're fooled. You know what I mean? [00:20:20] Speaker A: I got a secret, dude. We're watching Twin Peaks right now. David Duchovny plays a tranny for, like, three episodes in this. In this show in the 90s. But it's just David Duchovny in a dress and a wig. Like, there's. It's not, like, womanly at all. [00:20:38] Speaker B: Yeah, I went to my sister's birthday in Hermosa beach, and there was a dude that walks behind, like, the DJ booth, and he's dressed like a chick. And I'm like, does he know. We all know he. He's a dude, you know? I mean, they're like, oh, yeah, that's the DJs like, girlfriend, boyfriend, but, you know, like, tranny. And I'm like, that looks like a dude, though. Like, if I'm gonna be with the tranny, like, it's gonna look like a chick, you know? I mean, like, he's gonna look like a chick. You know what I mean? [00:21:05] Speaker A: Just said if. If I'm with a tranny. [00:21:12] Speaker B: You don't know the circumstance you meet him on. Like, what if you meet him at a bar? You're clubbing, you're kind of tipsy, you're drinking, and all of a sudden you're into the night, and you're like, you know what? It was fun. Let's do it again. You know. [00:21:25] Speaker A: My dad and I saw a tranny at the mall when I was, like, 10 years old, and he decided we were gonna follow it. So we followed this. It was like we were behind them, and it Was long black hair and like a skirt and then just these hulking arms. And we followed this thing from like one end of the mall all the way to the other into Sears, down the escalator. Like, I don't know why the fuck he was following this person, but that was my first introduction to, like, cross dressing Trans festival. [00:22:06] Speaker B: Your dad was following for the same reason I was following. It's. What if there's a chance? What if there's a cheat? No, no, here's the thing. If you can tell he's a tranny, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's. It's not fun, you know? So what's not fun? [00:22:24] Speaker A: Are you, are you these things. [00:22:31] Speaker B: If you can tell what, the secret's out. If you could tell it's a tranny, the secret's out. [00:22:39] Speaker A: What secrets are you keeping? [00:22:43] Speaker B: No, I'm just saying if you're gonna find. [00:22:46] Speaker A: If I had to keep a secret. [00:22:48] Speaker B: And we know by looking at him that it's a tranny, well, that's no fun. [00:22:57] Speaker A: So I want you to stop going to these places. [00:23:00] Speaker B: Okay, So I don't know where I was going with that either. I don't know how it started, mind you. Again, in rare form tonight with the honju. [00:23:11] Speaker A: I like. So I love it when you're like this. [00:23:13] Speaker B: I figured you would. Which is what, dude, I revved up for it. Like, he was like, I got you a 750 millimeter bottle in the, in the, in the fridge. And I was like, that one's for me too. He was like, yeah. I was like, oh, I'm gonna keep this going. Then tonight before the show. Like, I gotta get there before the show starts. So I will say this. I dated a liberal Muslim. Oh, that's how we got here. I said, I dated someone. That was. That was kind of funny that I didn't think was funny. You're like, you know, tranny. I dated a liberal Muslim. And so I reached out to an old schoolmate who had asked about me while I was married. Never reached out to her while I was married. But after I separated, I said, oh, she did ask about me. Let's see how she's doing. So I tracked her down. She's a lawyer. I said, hey, I'm going through a divorce. Maybe you could be my lawyer. She helped me on some stuff, screwed me on some more. She didn't really. She's a lawyer in California. She's not a lawyer in Arizona. So she's a lawyer also from T. Mobile. She's not like a divorce family lawyer, and so she didn't know some of the processes, which kind of screwed me when I actually went to court. Anyhow, she dumped me several times. First of all, she was Muslim, so anytime, you know, like Wavy Road or Roe v. Wade, I'm so self conscious of how I say that because of her. Like, however it's said, I would say it wrong. And at a company function, I invited her to be my plus one. She ran into another Democrat and was like, oh, my gosh. She comes running up to me, she's like, oh, my gosh. Like, I ran into someone that has same political views as me. And I'm like, oh, great. You know, it's my. It's my PM's wife. And I'm like, oh, my gosh, dude. Like, I didn't. Dude, do you seem so cool? I didn't know you're a Democrat. And he was like, yeah. And she was. It's so funny. He calls it Wavy Row and he doesn't know how to say the name right. It's Roe v. Wade. And she's like, laughing at me. And like, the wife was like, well, at least he kind of had the names. Like, he knew the names. But this. This woman dumped me because I didn't have a stance on it. I was like, look, I honestly believe, unless you're. You've been molested, raped, or some type of incestual thing, that if you went out to party or you went out to do to have sex and you had a baby from it, hey, there's some consequences to what you did, and there's some responsibility. Stand up and let's do it. And she was just like, you know, it's not your body and this and that. She goes, you know, I don't think it's going to work. She dumped me. So I'm like, all right, cool. Next day rolls around, she calls me, she's like, I'm so glad you didn't take me up on me dumping you. And, you know, like, we can work through this. I'm like, all right, cool. We. Every time, like, we had a political debate, and anytime Trump got brought up, she was like, and, you know, Christians and Christians this. And I was like, dude, like, Republican and Christian are not synonymous. So, like, why do you keep bringing up Christians every time we talk about Trump? And she's like, well, you Christians, this. And. And it led me into, like, evangelism. It led me into, you know, it led me into evangelism. Allen, you know, Where I was like, hey, look, I know you believe he's a great teacher or a great prophet, but here's the thing. Like, if he was a great teacher or a great prophet, like, there's three roads you have to take. He's either not a good teacher, he's either crazy, or he's what he taught because he taught he was the son of God. He is God in the flesh. Like, how do you. How do you not look at this? And so we went over those debates, but we dated for like eight months and was really a roller coaster. [00:26:53] Speaker A: So how did you do that? You know, I'm exhausted from one story. [00:27:01] Speaker B: I check out pretty easy. [00:27:03] Speaker A: You know, she face up against the glass. [00:27:06] Speaker B: Well, she was in California. I was in Arizona. And she would rant, and I would just be like, cool. And I would kind of do my thing as she's ranting and just like, oh, yeah, for sure. You know, kind of like when my mom calls and, you know, my mom has, like, all these family stories to tell me, and she has all this gossip, and I'm like, oh, yeah, mom. You know, like, cool. And she'll talk for a good 20 minutes, and then I get one word in where I'm like, oh, really? That happened, huh? And then she's like, yeah. And then she'll go on. And I'm like, cool. You know what I mean? You know how it is talking to your mom. [00:27:35] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:27:37] Speaker B: So I think the first. [00:27:38] Speaker A: Hey, not my mom. My mom is a wonderful woman, dude, for real. My dad used to mute the phone when his mom was on the phone for 20 minutes. Just put it down and then just go back to it 20 minutes later. Be like, no way. That's nuts. [00:27:56] Speaker B: Yeah, I've done that. I've done that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, if I'm cooking. Yeah, for sure. Like, I could check out, watch a little bit of a show, come back to it. And my ex would hate that because she would know when I did that to her. Like, she'd go on some rant about how she's not happy, and I'd be like, okay. And I would just set the phone down, play my video games, and then I'd pick it back up and say, did you, like, have you been listening to what I've been saying? Yeah, yeah. There's a lot to re resummarize. But yeah, like, to just summarize it. [00:28:27] Speaker A: You love killing babies. No, can't wait to do it again. I heard everything. [00:28:32] Speaker B: I'm talking about my ex wife. My ex wife would do it. And she hated because she know what I do. And I just like. Well, to summarize it, you're unhappy. You're unhappy. [00:28:41] Speaker A: I think it's safe to say you're unhappy. [00:28:45] Speaker B: So one red flag is if you don't share political views or lifestyles don't align, you know, if you're, if you're a gymnot and you're with someone that's not really motivated to be in shape, I get that. You know, more the political view style. I necessarily don't date women that are out of shape. So like I don't publicly date them. But part of that is, is I'm afraid I. Because I could very well take on the lifestyle of being like a foodie, you know, I mean, I could very well take on lifestyle like. Yeah, let's see what, let's see if this Twinkie tastes different than the last one in the box. You know what I mean? [00:29:31] Speaker A: Like, nope, I'm a fatty to do it. [00:29:37] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm a fatty. So I don't need someone enabling me. And so another one was irresponsible with money. I remember when, when me and my ex wife first started, we were first married, I came home, I was traveling for work and I came home and I was like, hey, look like, you know, I want to take you out to dinner and so forth. And she was like, yeah, let's do it in our card. Something happened where I found out our, like we didn't have sufficient funds. And I was like, what are you doing with our money that you like, I don't care what you. I don't care where we're at. But the fact that you lied to me about it, like, I can't deal with that. So going forward, don't ever lie to me again about it. Like, if we don't have money, don't it don't let me find out in the way. That's embarrassing. Be straight up, you know, I mean, so irresponsible with money is. Is two. Here's number three. Rude to strangers, which I would consider wait staff. Now, mind you, this is red flags for, for guys. This is red flags for guys. Yeah, this, this is a women like. [00:30:51] Speaker A: Red flag about women. [00:30:52] Speaker B: This is. No, this is red flags for women in, in a guy. [00:30:56] Speaker A: Oh, these are ones that you've seen in, in the group. [00:30:59] Speaker B: No, no, no, These are ones. Yeah. In that website they were like, hey, here's some red flags to look for in guys. So women's again is a lot shorter, but in guys. And I'm pretty Rude to strangers. So they. [00:31:13] Speaker A: They really thought that they were better with money than men? [00:31:18] Speaker B: I. Yeah, I assume so. They thought that they must be. They're 70 cents to the dollar. They got to be better with it. They got a. Better manage these broads. [00:31:26] Speaker A: They. They have to operate within that from that restriction. Huh. That's aggravating. Yeah. Political stuff can be rough if you're into it, if it never comes up. [00:31:46] Speaker B: How does it not in today's society, though, dude? Like, how does it not. I mean, it was. [00:31:51] Speaker A: I don't ever talk about politics, dude. [00:31:54] Speaker B: Yeah, but you don't have to. You're married. You probably have the same. You probably have similar views. You probably have similar views. You would have known because when did you. When did you start. When did you guys get married? In 2020. You probably started dating 2019. Yeah, that was. That was like. That was coming off the cusp of. That was like, Covid cusp. [00:32:15] Speaker A: Mm. [00:32:17] Speaker B: So you guys probably knew you were aligned when you were like, oh, you're not wearing a mask. I'm not wearing a mask either. I mean, you kind of knew the line in the sand with people who wore mask and who didn't wear mask. [00:32:27] Speaker A: Yeah, that's true. Yeah. [00:32:29] Speaker B: I mean, it was. It was. It was a clear divide in our society. [00:32:32] Speaker A: My lead on a lot of that stuff, I think. I think if she had been with a more liberal guy, she probably would have worn a mask. I mean, she did wear a mask everywhere. She had to at work and stuff. [00:32:43] Speaker B: Hey, how's her relationship with her dad? [00:32:48] Speaker A: It's been rocky since he died, but just. I'm sorry. Yeah. Hey, don't laugh. Don't. Don't laugh at all. [00:32:59] Speaker B: Well, I don't know. [00:33:00] Speaker A: Just let a leaden silence fall over the podcast. When I say. [00:33:05] Speaker B: I'm not gonna lie. I was like, okay, she's dealing with some stuff, you know, But I was gonna let you finish, and I was gonna ask. [00:33:12] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:33:12] Speaker B: How was it when they were. When he was alive? [00:33:15] Speaker A: He passed away about 14 years ago. [00:33:18] Speaker B: Okay. [00:33:19] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:33:20] Speaker B: Any daddy issues? [00:33:23] Speaker A: A little bit. [00:33:26] Speaker B: He. [00:33:27] Speaker A: He was a pretty bad alcoholic, but, you know, seems like he was pretty good to her. He just beat the shit out of her brother, and, you know, he was drunk all the time, and he was a trucker, so he was gone a lot. So, I mean, it's. It's that kind of stuff. But, I mean, it didn't. [00:33:45] Speaker B: Okay. Which. Which explains why she follows your lead so well. Like, she's. She takes comfort in a good father figure. If you Will, like, I've dated some 29 year olds that would let me. They would follow my lead, they would let me, they would allow me, they would allow me, you know, they would allow me to engage in areas that I was like, okay. Which made me question, how are you and your father? And a lot of them were like, well, I do have daddy issues. And it's like, okay. Which explains why you're allowing me to kind of, you see good characteristics in me and you're allowing me to take lead and you will follow because I have good fatherly characteristics. Okay, so that does make sense. Because if, if you're a good guy. [00:34:39] Speaker A: Go ahead. [00:34:40] Speaker B: No, if you're a good guy and you're a liberal, she's gonna be, hey, you know, I'll follow your lead because you have good characteristics. Okay. [00:34:50] Speaker A: Yeah, he did make fun of her a lot. And I make fun of her. So every once in a while she flies off the handle and she goes, you're just like my fucking dad or something like that. Which is the only time I hear that, when I make fun of her. [00:35:05] Speaker B: Now let me ask you, at that moment, do you lay the backhand down? Do you lay the pimp slap down? [00:35:10] Speaker A: Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right to the floor. [00:35:12] Speaker B: Okay. Okay. Good, good, good. I mean, that's, that's, that's a must. That's a must. You don't need to do it all the time. You don't need to do it all the time. You just have. You just have to let them know what kind of power you do possess at least once so that when they step out of line, you could, you can, you know, let them know, like, do you really. You want a fresh one, Willy? You know what I mean? I'm not jelly. I'm not going to lie. You want a fresh one, Jelly? [00:35:34] Speaker A: When I do it, it feels three times the size. I mean, it's a small hand, but, I mean, it feels like your hand. When I do it, it's like, it's like hand is guiding me. [00:35:46] Speaker B: You're throwing out real names. [00:35:53] Speaker A: That's how much I'm not on a podcast right now. That's how much I'm just letting shit fly. We were talking about my ex. We were talking about my wife's relationship. [00:36:04] Speaker B: I thought you were gonna say, it's like, when I grab my penis, it looks three times bigger than what it normally is because my hand is, you know, my penis is so small. Makes my hand look so big. No, no, no. You was like, hey, we're going to Real names, like pseudonyms out the door. Hey, and instead of a blank, when you. When you. When you. When we mess up, you should do a beep. [00:36:25] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:36:26] Speaker B: A couple people I've had listen to the podcast were like, yeah, the podcast cut out a couple times. I'm like, no, that's when we're saying real names and we messed up, so. And they were like, well, what about like a beep? Like you're saying a cuss word. I was like, you know, I'll throw that at him. So, yeah. [00:36:40] Speaker A: Yeah, I could do that. [00:36:41] Speaker B: Food for thought, because I like the little banter we had, and I think you should keep it in. Except for you just remove, you know, the real name. Yeah. [00:36:51] Speaker A: That's why another one was. Minute by minute, I gotta make sure all the names are out because we blow it every single episode. [00:36:58] Speaker B: Yeah, we do. And I like it because we're so comfortable with each other. Another one was disrespectful to family. What's your take on disrespectful to family? I mean, again, this is women's view on red flags of guys. [00:37:13] Speaker A: Yeah. I don't. I don't get to see any of her family, so, like, I don't really get to. [00:37:28] Speaker B: Yeah, you don't need to. Let's say you date someone, you've dated someone, or you picture dating someone who's rude to their family. [00:37:34] Speaker A: Would you be like, oh, not me, not me. My partner. [00:37:39] Speaker B: Well, I mean. I mean, honestly, this is a girl's view on red flags for guys. [00:37:43] Speaker A: That's why I was thinking if. If I was the one doing it. [00:37:47] Speaker B: Yeah. Are you rude to your family at all? [00:37:50] Speaker A: To my family? Not. Not in a bad way. [00:37:54] Speaker B: No. It seems like if you are, it's kind of. It ends up being, like, playful banter. [00:37:58] Speaker A: It's a joke. Yeah, it's. [00:38:00] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah, for sure. What about a backbiter? [00:38:05] Speaker A: Like, gossiping? [00:38:07] Speaker B: Yeah, like someone. So the scenario was someone that tells your. Not your. But someone that tells you deep secrets about, like, their friend, and you're like. And it was like, could you trust him to keep your secrets? [00:38:24] Speaker A: Yeah, if. If we're dating, I feel differently about that than if we're married. That exactly being said, there undoubtedly are some things about my friends that she doesn't know. [00:38:40] Speaker B: So I did. I did go to marriage counseling with Christopher Davis. You keep these names in? No. [00:38:47] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, I know. Chris. [00:38:47] Speaker B: Track it back. Yeah. So Chris Davis. It's a. It's a common name, so I don't mind if you keep that One in. He would always say, hey, whatever you share with me, I want you to know. Unless you tell me not to tell my wife, I tell my wife everything. I think that's fair. I think that's fair. You know what I mean? It was a disclaimer at the very beginning, and he was like, unless you tell me not to tell my wife, I tell my wife everything. And honestly, I took that. I incorporated that into my marriage. Cool. Like, if you tell me something, my wife's gonna know about it. [00:39:20] Speaker A: Well, I, you know, I've just decided that I'm gonna tell my wife about this podcast. Oh, now let's scrub it. [00:39:31] Speaker B: No, let's scrub it first. [00:39:36] Speaker A: There. You do make fun of her quite a bit in episode two, so I might. [00:39:41] Speaker B: I don't even know her. But you know what? It was funny that you said, it's even harder trying to find a girlfriend when you're married. [00:39:48] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:39:49] Speaker B: That was episode one. We gotta take it down. We gotta scrub it. We gotta scrub. [00:39:52] Speaker A: I thought that was. [00:39:53] Speaker B: However, I did notice in episode one, when I brought up. I said, as I mentioned before, women who don't post their kids in podcasts. And I. And. And during the edit, I said, hey, you got to remove this minute to this minute. Because I noticed it doesn't make sense that I said before because we removed that whole segment. Ah. [00:40:12] Speaker A: I didn't listen back through the whole thing after that. [00:40:15] Speaker B: No, I didn't. Until I was talking. I was. I was listening to it with my daughter and I was like, hey, check this funny out. And then as I was listening, I was like, oh, like that don't make sense now that I removed that whole section because I was like, what? When did I say that earlier? Oh, I had that part removed. Yeah. [00:40:30] Speaker A: Because of, you know, I'm pretty sure there is nothing that has been said that would bum her out so far. [00:40:42] Speaker B: No, no, no, no. Except for you call her the N word. [00:40:46] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, no, I'll. Yeah, No, I let that fly around the house. Just around the. [00:40:52] Speaker B: Yeah. And in the car. You know, if, like a good song comes on and. And you know, Kanye singing it, I can say it. Yeah. So here's the thing. What about long term friends? If you're. If, you know, I was. So let me tell you, when I originally wrote these down, I was like, they go both ways. They go both ways. But they don't. At a certain point in this one, no long term friends. I mean, my wife would bring that up to me. Like, you have no long term friends. And I'M like, I moved around every year. Like, I. I've lived with uncles, I lived with aunts, I've lived with my dad a couple times. I lived my mom a couple times. Like, I've been kicked out. I've lived in my, like, at 16, I lived in a mobile home by myself because I couldn't live with my mom. I couldn't live with my dad because of, you know, HOA requirements. [00:41:38] Speaker A: What are we saying as a long term friend? Because, I mean, you've got friends that I've known for 10, 15 years now. [00:41:45] Speaker B: I do, but when I lived in Sage Crest, I didn't, I didn't have any long term friends, you know, like, I hadn't. There was people I haven't talked to, but I'm content with that. Like, it's almost like, don't poke the bear. Who's that dude that does don't poke the bear? [00:42:02] Speaker A: Dan Cummins. [00:42:04] Speaker B: Yes. When he was like, me and my friend, we haven't talked for like 15 years. And you know, I talked to him. We're like five minutes in a conversation, I hang up. She's like, so like, that's supposed to be like your best friend? He's like, yeah, for like 15 years. She's like, how do you know? Like, so like, is his family doing okay? He's like, yeah, how do you know? Well, he didn't say my wife was sick or anything, you know, like, pretty sure he would tell me if. Yeah, it didn't come up. So like, everything must be fine. And you know, he's comparing his relationship to his wife's first best friend who they talk every morning for three hours. And he's like, there's not been enough that's happened to talk for three hours. You know, I could talk for, to a friend that I haven't seen in 10 years. And our conversations, maybe 10, 15 minutes. And she's like, well, like, does he have any kids? Yeah, yeah, I believe he does. He said, you know, his wife and kids are. Yeah, I mean like, that's just how dudes operate. So, like, yes, I did have long term friends, but I didn't talk to him every day. And honestly, we grew different ways. Like, a lot of my long term friends were gang related. Once I had kids, I knew I didn't want to be in, in a situation to put my kids in that situation. I knew as a young man I never wanted to belong to a gang because it was stupid. Like, we're fighting over government owned property. Like it's kind of you know, I mean, like, it's not even your property. Like, I get it. Like you, you kind of govern this area, but like, it's like I'm not willing to die for something that's not mine. Like, I'm willing to die for you as a friend. I'm willing to die for my family, but I'm not willing to die for some shit that I don't own, you know, or that has no connection to me. And I just always felt the gangs were stupid. And I was fortunate enough to be have gang affiliations without being gang related, you know, I mean, like I had, I've had gang members. The reason I got kicked out at 17 and had live in a mobile home by myself was because the trailer park we lived in, I moved from my uncle's house back into my mom's house. My two younger sisters were being bullied by these, these guys in the trailer park. And I made a couple phone calls and I was like, hey, look, like this is what's going on. Like, I feel like these dudes is, they're messing with my sisters. They feel like they're like they got some stuff and so let's run through and handle some shit. And we ran through and handled it. Like we beat the, we beat the fuck out of these dudes. But we got out before the cops came. And the HOA for that mobile home park was basically like, hey, your son can't move. Your son cannot be on property anymore. I mean, like, we ran and beat the fuck out of these dudes in front of their mamas. Like their mamas watched their kids get the beat out of them. Now mind you, they just mess with my sisters. However, the gang of the gang member that I knew when I told him they mess with my sisters, well, he relayed the fact to his homeboys that they, they were trying to rape my sisters. And so the ass whipping was not just, oh, you're messing with my homeboy sisters. Like, oh, you want to rape a motherfucker? And so they beat the out of them. [00:45:10] Speaker A: That's what we call an upsell. [00:45:13] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They were at, they were at the point of sale and dude was like, hey, do you want to, you know, you want to buy some of this? And, and you know, like, orange juice is really good. It's fresh squeeze. And they were like, yeah, let's buy it. And so that's a 45% markup, dude. They like, we, we handled some shit. It was crazy. I remember we parked at the 711 around the corner. We walked in, they saw us. They were standing outside. All their moms were together. Like, their moms are friends. They were all kind of like hanging out. And they were outside. And I remember Jorge, you know, no last name, so it doesn't matter. But Jorge looked and he was like, who the fuck you say you rape? And I looked over at John. I was like, what? He was like, just go with it. And I was like, let's do this. And we walked up and they ran inside, and we ran inside their mobile home after him, and we just bashed on these fools. And then my mom called me, was like, hey, cops are here. They said that you can't come back to this. This residence. And so I'm going to set you up in a place in Anaheim. My friend, she don't really live there, but you can stay in her mobile home. I lived in that mobile home for about, I don't know, two, three months. It was the loneliest place I ever been, bro. Like, I'm living in this room that's fully decorated by some other people, you know, like, their whole clothes are here. Everything's here. And I, you know, I mean, like every. Every means of getting around at 16 was walking, you know, so, like, I had to walk everywhere. And, you know, it wasn't like I saw my mom every day, so it was kind of like I was just on my own. And I remember my uncle ended up coming to stay with me. And he's. He used to be of Hell's Angels. And we had this big ass, like, parrot cage. It was like a parrot bird cage. And I was hitchhiking one night home, and some girl picked me up on the freeway. And she was like, hey. She was a British accent. Oh, my gosh, dude. She was like, hey, where you going? I told her and she was like, okay. So she goes and drops me off. She was, are you going to bite? Invite me in for a drink. She's 25, I'm 16 or so, and she's going to invite me in for a drink. And I was like, yeah. So I know we about to get it on. Like, I was a good looking kid, full head of hair, you know, I mean, like, you know, had the fucking, you know. And so I'm like, yeah. We walk in, my uncle's in a birdcage. I remember the date. I remember the date because of what he said. He said we walk in and she goes, oh. And I was kind of taken back. I was like, hey, what are you. What are you doing in A birdcage. It's Friday the 13th. I can't go outside. It's a bit. It's. It's bad news. And I was like. She goes, you know what? I. I'm just gonna use the restroom. I'm gonna take off. [00:47:51] Speaker A: And I was like, son of a. [00:47:54] Speaker B: You know what I mean? I was like, son of a. Son of a biscuit. [00:47:58] Speaker A: And then she goes to the bathroom and you just look at him. You're like, fuck are you doing in a Murray? Yeah, you fucked this whole thing. [00:48:09] Speaker B: There goes, you know, there goes my future wife. But yeah, so she left. Her name was Mimi. She left. She was beautiful woman, man. Like, Honestly, like I'd been lucky to, to. To get into some of that. But anyhow, that didn't happen, so. And Lord willing, it probably didn't need to happen. All right, so no long term friends. What about says all the exes are crazy? This again is from a female's view to guys says all his exes are crazy. You ever say your exes are crazy? [00:48:44] Speaker A: They are since they used to go into work all the time and just sit there. Who's right? Right? Fuck my wife. [00:48:59] Speaker B: No shit. [00:49:01] Speaker A: Yeah. Never mind. I. I forgot I wasn't gonna say her name. [00:49:06] Speaker B: But no, no, like so. So they were that close together that she would go into to her work? [00:49:15] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, we had been broken up for over a year. [00:49:19] Speaker B: That's what I thought. I mean, I thought there was a big gap. [00:49:22] Speaker A: She somehow figured out that we were dating and like where she worked and stuff. And she started going in there all the time. Let me ask you, like every day. [00:49:32] Speaker B: That make you feel good as a man? [00:49:35] Speaker A: Kinda. [00:49:36] Speaker B: Yeah, you kind of did, huh? [00:49:37] Speaker A: Like, what was weird? [00:49:39] Speaker B: She was, this is crazy about me. [00:49:42] Speaker A: She was already with someone else. Like she would go in there with her boyfriend sometimes, figured that out and like he knew because one time she was changing the bag in a trash bag that was like right next to them and she said she like angrily like opened the bag and then heard them like openly talking about like. I don't know why she's so weird about this. I mean, like we're just. We're just living our lives. We're just doing our thing. [00:50:16] Speaker B: That's nuts, man. Must made you feel good though, bro. Yeah, come on. To be desired by more than one. You know what I mean? Like, it makes me feel good when my crazy exes come up and you're like, oh, she did that for me. Like. Like a part of me was calling me like, hey, girl, Like, I heard you. It was kind of crazy for me for a minute, you know? I mean, all right, what about. Brings up exes a lot? I mean, to me, that was a red flag both ways, guy and girl. I'm gonna step off screen because I gotta pee in a bucket. [00:50:51] Speaker A: All right. Yeah. I mean, we. We kind of decided early on, like, hey, we don't need to talk about any of that. Right. And then we just didn't for a long time. And we've. We've come to learn things about each other's exes. But, I mean, literally less than a year ago, I said a name of someone I dated for two years, and she was like, who's that? And I was like, you've never heard me talk about that person before. And she's like, no, who was that? And I was like, oh, we dated for two years. Like, that's. That's how much we just haven't really talked about that stuff. [00:51:33] Speaker B: As a male, does it make you. [00:51:34] Speaker A: Feel uncomfortable when she talks about her exes? Yeah, it depends. She dated the lead singer of and that bums Me Out. That was a band I literally had on my ipod when I was a kid. [00:51:52] Speaker B: But did you take them off? [00:51:54] Speaker A: What? [00:51:56] Speaker B: Did you take them off your podcast? I mean, your ipod? [00:51:59] Speaker A: Nope. There's still on there. I haven't used that ipod in a long time. It's still. Still there. [00:52:07] Speaker B: Do you listen to them today? [00:52:11] Speaker A: They might come on Pandora or something, but I don't go, oh, you're a Pandora guy. [00:52:16] Speaker B: I'm not gonna lie. I just judged you. [00:52:18] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't have any paid apps. I can't. I can't afford it. [00:52:24] Speaker B: That's all right. I mean, like, I don't. My daughter pays for mine, so I'm just on her family account. I don't think she pays for. I think her stepdad pays for it. Cool. All right. So that doesn't bother you, though? [00:52:41] Speaker A: No. Like, there's one guy that will come up just because they were together for so long, and it doesn't bug me. It's, like, physically, it's not much of a competition, so I just don't feel weird about it, but I don't know. What about you? [00:53:08] Speaker B: No, I'm pretty comfortable, but I think that comes with being comfortable with who you are. I do understand there's past experiences. Like, honestly, for me to be jealous over an ex, if you will, means that I can't understand that I had exes. You know, I mean, like, it's almost like, you know, like, who am I to be upset that you bring up your ex? Acting as if I don't have an ex at all. You know what I mean? Yeah. But I will use it as. As a test, if you will. You know, I will bring up an ex to see how they respond to it, you know, And I've had females be. I've had females that I'm with be like, I don't think you're over your ex. And I'm like, no, I'm. I'm over. I'm over that ex. I'm. [00:54:00] Speaker A: I don't see her anywhere. [00:54:02] Speaker B: Yeah. Like, I'm just bringing up a story. I mean, it's part of my experience in life. I mean, that's kind of what we do is we. We walk in our current experiences, you know? [00:54:13] Speaker A: Yeah. That being said, I just remembered, and I don't know why I didn't remember this when we got on the topic. I did have, like, a weird. A weird problem with it for a little while. It was not long after we started dating. It was probably around the time we got engaged, so we'd probably been together four or five months. And I was, like, stalking some of her exes, like, to see if they still had pictures of her up and stuff. [00:54:43] Speaker B: Are you serious? [00:54:44] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what was going on with me. [00:54:48] Speaker B: This is gonna be a long podcast tonight. I'm just letting you know. I need to stop you. I need to stop you and ask you, like, are you comfortable with who you are as a man now? [00:54:57] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:54:58] Speaker B: What do you would. So what changed between then and now? Because, honestly, I think that comes from a lot of men who are insecure in themselves, which I think a lot of abuse stems from men that are in insecure, that are operating out insecurities, whether it's verbal, whether it's physical. I think they operate a lot of. Out of insecurities. So what changed between then and now? Because that doesn't sound like a secure man who stalks X's. [00:55:26] Speaker A: Yeah, Yeah, I totally agree. In my defense, I did find some pictures of her that they hadn't taken down. [00:55:32] Speaker B: So did you contact them? Like, hey, I did. [00:55:35] Speaker A: No, no, I. [00:55:36] Speaker B: Trademark. Trademark. This is now trademark. Under. Under Chaz. And you need to take these down. [00:55:43] Speaker A: I'm not sure I can even answer that. I don't know what my problem was. There was something about. And I. And I do want to say it wasn't like that when we first got together. So something changed around the time we got engaged where the idea of her being with other people before me really started to bother me. [00:56:08] Speaker B: And did it change when you got married because of the fact that you're. She's now yours? I mean, definitely objectify it for the. [00:56:16] Speaker A: Time we were married. Yeah, by the. By the time. [00:56:18] Speaker B: So it didn't bother you before you were married? [00:56:21] Speaker A: No, but. Well, I don't know. I don't know when it changed, but, like, definitely by the time lockdowns happened, I was not dealing with that. [00:56:30] Speaker B: So was lockdowns prior to your marriage? [00:56:33] Speaker A: Yeah, two months before. Before our marriage. So, like, we got engaged in October. Lockdowns were March somewhere in there. [00:56:42] Speaker B: So it was the engagement. [00:56:44] Speaker A: It was around that time. I don't know if that had anything to do with it. [00:56:48] Speaker B: Then what had to do with it? Because I'm falling back on the engagement part. How to be an engagement if you're not gonna give me a date where you actually. Because it has nothing to do with her. It has everything to do with your security and yourself. It really does, like, eliminate her. There was some insecurity in you that made you do what you did. And if it's not the engagement to her where she committed to you and you said, hey, she's finally mine, There was something in you that either had to click. And for me, I know that moment. You know, it was when I was 40. I was a good, you know, 16 years into my marriage before it actually clicked, you know, or 14 years into my marriage. So I know the date that it clicked that I was actually secure in who I was. It's either you're secure in who you were, or the engagement factor took place in it, and you're still not secure in who you were. Are. Which, if I'm gauging this, I'm being straight up with you, Chaz. If I'm gauging this based on your journal entry, you're still not secure in who you are. [00:57:50] Speaker A: Well, I might be messing up definitions here. I don't think I like who I am. Can I dislike who I am but also be secure? Like, I don't. [00:58:06] Speaker B: I think. I honestly think they're synonymous. Yeah, I. I think they're synonymous. I think to be secure in yourself is to like who you are. I don't think being weak, it. I don't know where you're going with the weak aspect, and maybe I should let you finish. But I think. And not that you have to be strong in yourself, but I think as a male, to, you know, like, I. My dad's a good. I don't know he's probably in his 60s. He's definitely in his 60s. But when he goes on a job site, he's meat measuring. I mean, he's. He's trying to challenge the alpha male to show that he's got alpha presence. I don't need that. I don't ever need that. Which makes me really good at my job because I could go in and glean from the guys who want to be alpha males, be the alpha male you want. I'm here to get a project done, and I'm not here to get a project done by force. I'm here to get a project done by cooperation of everybody. Therefore, I want to engage with everybody. I want to find their weaknesses and their strengths, and I want to utilize them accordingly. My father has to go in and kind of. I don't know the word I'm looking for, but he has to make sure everybody knows. Yeah, he has to make sure that he. Everybody knows. He's the. He's the man on the job peacock. And this is the way. Yeah, kind of, you know, he has to go in and basically kind of show everybody he's the man, and this is how it's going to go. I'm okay with not operating like that. I'm okay with being a gecko and trying to, you know, relate to everybody and understand their walk of life and figure out where their strength and weaknesses are. But I've always operated like that. That doesn't mean I liked myself in the first couple years, but I did realize I liked myself five years ago, and I realized I was comfortable with who I am and I'm okay with who I am. I could display that I'm okay. Doesn't mean I'm okay with who I am. But I think being okay with who you are is liking who you are. And that's why I was trying to tell you a couple when we were talking about journaling was don't listen to your own voice. Listen to those around you in your sphere that actually are important to you. Listen. Those men that you esteem highly, those men that you look up to, what they have to say about you makes a big difference, because that's. That's kind of who you are. Those who know you intimately, that can respond with honesty and truth, those are the guys you have to believe. Don't believe the lies that you tell yourself. You know what I mean? Don't believe the lies that I'm not a good supporter. I'm not as chill as I think I am. I'm not as you know, this and that. No, no, no, no, no. Listen to the guys around you. If they say you're a good guy, they say you're a cool guy. You draw a lot of guys. You know, I mean, I. I sit back and I listen to your old podcast and I think about your audience, and your audience is made up of really good, genuine guys. You know, you're. You're selling books to raise funds for asl. That says a lot about your character. You know what I mean? Like, you're. You're a good dude. You may be not where you want to be, but that just means you need to rethink your plan, your goals. You need to maybe rethink some things. Kind of like your friend that was telling you the other day to break down the bigger problems into smaller sections and bullet points. If you're not going on the projection that you need to go, just stop and maybe rethink and look through it from a different lens. You know what I mean? Because, honestly, you're more accomplished than a lot of young men I know. And you don't have a lot. I'm not saying you're accomplished in the fact that you have a lot going on, but it sounds like you make a lot of your. You make the most of a lot of your time. You know, you're. You're not sitting around just being. You're not bullshitting with life. Like, you're actually trying to figure out how to write a book. You're actually trying to figure out how to. To be a better person. There's not a lot of men I know that do that, you know? However, on the flip side, there are a lot of men I know that do that, because those are the guys I surround myself with. If you're sitting here doing some bullshit. There are guys that I've been really good friends with, and all their goal is, is to screw around on their wives. They got eliminated quickly from my circle. Sphere. You know what I mean? My. My sphere of influence. It's like, I don't want you around me. Me, because there's nothing. You. You. I'm not benefiting anything from your lifestyle. I can't say that about you. I benefited a lot from you. You know, I'm not gonna lie. After listening your podcast, I'm trying to figure out how not to end sentences and articles. And first of all, I gotta. I gotta define what a. What a freaking article is. You know what I mean? Like, okay, well, you know, like, honestly, I'm. I'm. I'm enjoy the fact that you're challenging me to be a better sounding individual when I speak, you know, and you don't know you're doing it. There was no specific conversation we had about not ending in articles and how to talk in a certain manner. However, listening to you, you know, you're doing a lot for your life. Like, I honestly think of you as a respectable, respectable young man. You know, you're. I think you're a great father. You know, excluding your outburst on what, you know, what are you doing when they squeeze something and throw it around, you just have to take the step back and understand that this is someone that's learning from you. You know, like, that's how I look at it with my kids. I cannot get mad at my kids when they do certain things because you're still in the learning process. You're still learning from me. You're still learning from your. You didn't know that shit was gonna go everywhere. How do I know? Because you've never done it before, but you just did it right now, you know, and so the only way you can really teach someone, like, when my number four does something, you know, she created a lot of arts and crafts today, and at the end of it, she's. She brought over a trash can. She's throwing all her scraps away. And then she was like, hey. I was like, hey, look, like, can you take the trash can back? And she's like, can you do it for me? I was like, not. And make the mess? She's like, well, you know, like, how are you. Like, how are you helping me? And I'm like, I made your hot pocket. Yeah, Like, I didn't make this mess. Why are you asking me to take back your mat and take back the truck, the trash can? I didn't make the mess. Like, you did that. You're expecting me to clean up something you did. Like, you made the best. Don't expect someone to help you clean up the mess that you made. But if I help you make the mess, guarantee I'll be right there next to you helping you clean it up. No, you know, like, I want to make life easy for her, but at the same time, like, you made the mess, you know, like, out of here. I'm. I'm lounging, bro. What the. No. Wonder your mom's asking me to come. Yeah, Wonder your mom's saying her surgery didn't go well because recovery. She's doing everything for you. You're asking her to take back trash cans and like, nah, nah, you do that. You made the mess. You do it. [01:05:26] Speaker A: You know, I appreciate you saying all that. [01:05:32] Speaker B: Dude. You're a good. You're a good dude, man. I wouldn't ask to do this with some dude that was a jackass dude. Like, honestly, I've wanted to do this for years with someone that legitimately, legitimately had some good input, legitimately had some good input, and at this point, preferably had some good Internet, I'm not gonna lie. [01:05:55] Speaker A: But I appreciate you saying all that. [01:05:59] Speaker B: Yeah, dude, I honestly, I think you doubt yourself. I think you're. You're very much the same young man I was where you make the best of life. You. You know how to laugh at things that shouldn't be laughed at. You know, how to adapt and pivot, but at the same time, you doubt who you are because you haven't fully. You haven't fully been invested into, you know, And I think that comes from. I love your dad with all my heart. I just don't think your dad fully invested in you. I love my dad with all my heart. I don't think my dad fully invested in me as he should have. There was. There was a lack of encouragement, there was a lack of pointing out potential, you know. You know, my parents kept me from sports. I think I would have been in great athlete. I'm. I'm a mediocre athlete, and I don't even play every day. I don't play every month. I don't play every year. But I know I could go out and play with some of the, some. Some good football players, basketball players. Now, mind you, if they're. They're playing every day, they're blowing me out the park. College players blow me out of the park. High school players blow me out of the park. However, for someone that doesn't play ever, I know enough to get by and do what I got to do. I'm smart enough to do. And I think you're in the same boat. But. However, I do realize that if my parents would have poured into me the potential that I had, I think I honestly could have been, you know, at least a running back in college, you know, on a college team, or got a scholarship off of being a running back, you know, got a scholarship to college for being a running back or a wide receiver. Same with basketball. I think if my parents would have invested in me, but they didn't. They were always, we don't have insurance, so you can't play football because we don't want to. You. If you break your arm, we, we, you know, we got to take you to the hospital. Okay. You know, but I think you have a lot of potential. But you have a lot of potential. You have a lot of drive you, a lot of dreams and you're pursuing them more. More than a lot of other young men I know that doubt themselves. So, you know, kudos to you. But we, we are on the hour and a half mark almost and do. We haven't made it through half the list. So this is going to be a long podcast because we're finishing this shit. [01:08:18] Speaker A: Let's keep going. [01:08:19] Speaker B: I still got about a half a bottle. I got a half a bottle left, so. [01:08:23] Speaker A: That was a bottle fueled speech. I'm inspired. [01:08:29] Speaker B: It wasn't really though, man, because like, honestly, man, like, we are such different in age range and there are guys around here that I talk to that are roughly your age or younger and you know, they, they, we, we converse and I try and tell them, but I feel like I'm the old cat where they're just like, okay, say what you got to say, you know, and they'll tell me like, man, that's some good stuff. But it's a once in a life. The UNSA wants in every now and then. Engagement where me and you, we've been friends now for, I don't know, almost 20 years. Yeah, dude, it's been a while, bro. [01:09:10] Speaker A: Friends whenever you meet for like 12 years. Known each other. You were kind of just a youth leader for a while. [01:09:25] Speaker B: So. Yeah, man. How old were you when we met? [01:09:31] Speaker A: 13. [01:09:33] Speaker B: How old are you now? [01:09:35] Speaker A: 31. [01:09:37] Speaker B: No, are you 31? For reals? Yeah, man. You look a lot older. [01:09:41] Speaker A: Oh, thanks. [01:09:44] Speaker B: No, I actually thought you. [01:09:46] Speaker A: I look, I do. [01:09:47] Speaker B: I actually thought you were a lot younger. So is. That is. [01:09:50] Speaker A: What do you think, like 25? [01:09:52] Speaker B: What? What? I. I thought maybe. I actually thought like 27, 28. [01:09:59] Speaker A: Yeah, it's not that far off. [01:10:05] Speaker B: It's crazy. All right, so let's keep going, man. Leaves you out of plans and conversations. [01:10:15] Speaker A: Pretty bad at that. [01:10:18] Speaker B: You see. But let's. I feel like those are two different categories. I mean, if we're sitting in a group atmosphere, let's say me, you, your, your wife, we meet. Let's say we just run each other. Let's say she's. Oh, you guys are staying in my place, I'm staying at your place, whatever. We're up at night talking. You think that's a red flag to leave them out of a conversation? I mean, there's some history there in some, some aspect, you know what I mean? Like, I feel like there's history there in every relationship in conversation. That not necessarily includes all parties. [01:10:54] Speaker A: Yeah, no, I wouldn't be. I wouldn't be worried about that. I thought that meant more like planning stuff without telling them. [01:11:05] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. So the planning part of it is an issue, you think? [01:11:08] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, yeah. Because she'll say no to everything because she doesn't want to do anything social. So I'll say yes to stuff and then just not tell her until like the day before and be like, hey, we're doing this. [01:11:21] Speaker B: And so that's a red flag for her to you? [01:11:24] Speaker A: I think. [01:11:24] Speaker B: So that should have been a red flag. Okay. [01:11:26] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:11:27] Speaker B: All right. [01:11:27] Speaker A: We didn't deal with that so much when we were dating, though. She was more social. [01:11:35] Speaker B: Oh, so she kind of switched the game on on you once you put a ring on it. She was kind of like, hey, look, like, what I gave off is not what I'm giving. [01:11:42] Speaker A: No, she never gave off a social vibe. It was always a struggle. But, like, pre lockdown, we had stuff to do, you know, like, we had us kind of a social life and a friend group and stuff. And then we just haven't really had that since. [01:11:57] Speaker B: What about backhanging comments like, yeah, like, for your age, you look good in that. [01:12:04] Speaker A: I do that as a joke, but neither of us do that, seriously. [01:12:12] Speaker B: Okay, what about now? Again, this is female to male. These are red flags for females in. Males never plans dates. [01:12:28] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:12:29] Speaker B: Do you plan dates? [01:12:30] Speaker A: No. [01:12:30] Speaker B: You guys go out, let's say. Do you have a date night? [01:12:33] Speaker A: We don't go out. We. We haven't really had money the whole time we've lived here, so we use. We went out to dinner a few times when we first moved out here, and we'll do stuff like for birthdays and stuff. But, I mean, it's been a long time since we've had, like, a proper date night. [01:12:54] Speaker B: What is. Okay, so, like, I know you're tight budgeted. I'm not saying that from any other thing than your comment you just made. [01:13:02] Speaker A: Yeah, sure, you're good. [01:13:05] Speaker B: What. What is too tight? Like, what can you afford to do on a date night? Let's say next week, whenever your pay period is, with all your bills incorporated, mentally, what can you for afford for a date night? Let me just ask you that. [01:13:22] Speaker A: With everything accounted for, my monthly budget is about negative $2,000. So it's like, I'll. I'll get McDonald's and feel bad about that. [01:13:34] Speaker B: Okay. No, no. And I get that. I get that being laid Off, Like, I get that. Like, like, like number four would be like, hey, can we go get McDonald's today? And I'm like, hey, like, look like, I'm really close to having a job. Can we just wait? Man, I really love some McDonald's. I'm like, you know what? I could, I could probably borrow 25 bucks from somebody to make, to make rent. So I get that. Okay, so you're, you're really struggling out there. [01:14:03] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. [01:14:05] Speaker B: Okay. [01:14:05] Speaker A: That's why. [01:14:06] Speaker B: And I appreciate your honesty, man. [01:14:08] Speaker A: Yeah, okay. [01:14:08] Speaker B: I appreciate your honesty. Okay, so with what you have, do you have people that would watch your daughter? Like, do you. Do you even have that? [01:14:18] Speaker A: You're really opening a can of worms here. [01:14:21] Speaker B: You. [01:14:21] Speaker A: Yes. No shortage of people who would be willing to do that. We would not leave her with anyone. [01:14:29] Speaker B: Ooh, yeah. Do you, like, does have a. Well, okay, I'm gonna be brutally honest. Ain't got a job, Ain't got a fucking bedtime. Like she's got a desired bedtime, but she ain't got a regulatory bedtime where she's like, hey, look, I gotta get up at this time in the morning because we all know you get up with the baby. So, you know, so there ain't no time gotta be in bed. Have you ever thought about just taking what you got in the fridge and making like an after baby goes down date night? [01:15:07] Speaker A: No, I haven't. I would do that. We eat dinner at 5:00, so that's. [01:15:16] Speaker B: A great time to eat dinner. Like, I'm honestly a 5 o'clock eat dinner guy, because anytime later is really unhealthy. Do you have an air fryer? Does she like fish? [01:15:27] Speaker A: Yeah, I. [01:15:30] Speaker B: So, like, have you ever thought about just maybe air frying some mahi mahi or some salmon? [01:15:35] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:15:36] Speaker B: Or do. And just had a little date night, watching a movie afterwards after the baby goes down. [01:15:43] Speaker A: I mean, we, we watch TV together for about an hour every night after. [01:15:47] Speaker B: Dog. [01:15:48] Speaker A: Okay, got it. I'm. [01:15:50] Speaker B: Quit it. I'm probably. I'm talking about some special shit. You're like, no, we do this every night. Like, we, you know, we, we watch our shows. No, I'm talking about a special date night, bro. Like something out of the norm. [01:16:03] Speaker A: I wasn't saying it's a special date night. I'm saying we eat dinner at 5:00 and we watch TV together every night. Putting those things together is not a day. [01:16:13] Speaker B: Dude, can you go buy some strawberries? Fuck the air fryer and the fish. Can you buy some strawberries and maybe just chop them up. Put a little sugar or some brown sugar. Here's a great cheap, cheap. Dip, brown sugar and sour cream. Put brown sugar in it until the sour cream tastes good. Keep mixing brown sugar. Start, start little. Mix it up. Taste it. Make some more brown sugar in it. Taste it. Dip it in some strawberries. Taste it. And just have some strawberries and sour cream with brown sugar. And just have a night where the baby's asleep already. You guys sit up and watch something while you massage your feet and just watch a show like. Like that could be a date night. It doesn't have to be going out, doesn't have to be spending extra money. It could be something you could do at home. Do you do that sort of thing for your wife? Okay, well, let's implement that. Yeah, it's important. It's important. I didn't realize how important it is until. Till you divorced. And then you realize, like, dude, like, I'm never gonna dance again. Guilty feeding, you know? Yeah. Or. Or you go feel college where you hear like, you know, like that Standing Here song where you're like, I'm standing here. I don't know, but I heard it the other day and I was like, man, this is sad, but it's a Phil Collins song, man. I forget what it is. [01:17:43] Speaker A: George Michael. [01:17:45] Speaker B: No, no, no. George Michael was never going to dance again. There's a Phil Collins song where he's like. He's talking about, like, you're going to. And all I can do is stand here standing here against all odds is the chance I got to take and he's like, you know what I'm talking about? You know what song I'm talking about? [01:18:04] Speaker A: I don't think so. [01:18:05] Speaker B: Tell me you do. Oh, man. He said, give me a second, bro. [01:18:10] Speaker A: God, I love it when you get drunk like this. [01:18:14] Speaker B: Yeah, give me a second. He said. [01:18:18] Speaker A: We haven't had a night like this since you lived on yeah. [01:18:23] Speaker B: He said, he said, man, I feel, I hear it in my head he said, chance I gotta take he said, he said, how am I gonna. [01:18:43] Speaker A: Turn. [01:18:43] Speaker B: Around and leave you face When I'm standing here against all life chance I gotta take oh, man, I have to remember it anyhow, some black dude played it on TikTok the other day, and he was like, I never heard these words until, like now. And it was just about your ex walking away. And he's like, how am I gonna let you walk away? Turn around and let you walk away When I'm standing here against all odds It's a chance I gotta take. Oh, I forget what it is, man. But, man. Oh, dude, you know what? Fuck you, bro. You look at me like. Like you're. Like you don't know how to read. Like you don't wear glasses, but you're squinting. You said, how can I just let you walk away? Just let you leave without a trace? When I stand here taking every breath of you? Ooh, you're the only one who really knew me. You're the only one who really knew me at all. You know what I'm saying? He says, you know what I'm talking about, though. [01:20:05] Speaker A: Yep, I sure do. [01:20:07] Speaker B: Against all my favorite song. And he says, I feel like you really don't know what song I'm talking about. [01:20:18] Speaker A: Nah, dude. [01:20:19] Speaker B: Slaps. If you know what song I'm talking about, just say it. He says, how can you just walk away from me? When all I could do is watch you leave? Cause we shared the laughters and the pain Even shared in the tears. You're the only one that ever knew me at all? So take a look at me now. You know what? You know what a song I'm talking about now, right? [01:20:55] Speaker A: 100%. [01:20:56] Speaker B: Yes. Okay. Okay, dude, dude, those. You don't want those songs to hit you when you separated, bro. Just do the little dates. Just do the date nights, bro. [01:21:09] Speaker A: I swear to God, I will. [01:21:11] Speaker B: Just. Just. Just do the little. Investing your. Your marriage, bro. You know, maybe you be the barista now, you know? Oh, it's just an empty space, you know, Man, I cried watching that tick tock the other day. I ain't gonna lie, bro. All right. Not reliable. What about punctuality? Is that important to you? Punctuality? Is that a red? [01:21:48] Speaker A: Yeah, but she's Mexican, so there's not a lot you can do there, you know? [01:21:54] Speaker B: Yeah, I remember doing my five weeks. You know what? Let's talk about this motherfucker. When he took us down to Mexico for five weeks, Mexico said they don't. They don't have. You know, they'd be like, hey, why don't you come over for dinner? And I was like, all right, cool. What time? They was like, whenever. You know, Mexico, timings, whenever. I learned a lot. As much as I don't like. For those who want to Google that motherfucker, I. As much as I don't like him, he. He did. He did. He did invest a lot in me in the sense that I would. We wouldn't have had an evangelism class without cause. Was the guy who was like, it's easy to witness, it's easy to go talk about someone, talk to someone about where they're going. And he introduced us to Ray Comfort. And so I do have a lot to give to. As shitty as he was, I do have some, some things to give to him. And, and honestly, yeah, I get the non punctuality with his, with Hispanics, but at the same time, like punctuality me is very important. Like if I'm going to a job interview, I'm there 10 minutes early and I don't mind waiting in the lobby. [01:23:10] Speaker A: It's because whites are this. [01:23:11] Speaker B: If I'm meeting someone, like, yeah, they're like sharks, man. Every. I mean that's what sharks and people have in common. Every, every. The great ones are white. When, when I dated that, when I dated the, when I dated the liberal Muslim, I hadn't seen my friend Robert in like two years. And mind you, he's a, he's my best friend. He knows where all the dead bodies are laid, you know, and I had told, I told, I told my friend that was, I told my girlfriend at the time, I said hey look, we're about to go meet up with my, my best friend Robert, who I would love for you to meet. This is in our first couple months, you know. So like I didn't see all the red flags on her, but I did because I remember sitting around joking about him with my sister. Like, hey look, like red flags are sometimes good for you because like you really don't give a. Because you've been so screwed over. You're like, you like red flags are welcomed, you know, like you'll ignore some. And we were joking about that the same day and, and I said hey look, like we're about to go meet up my sister and we're about to go meet up with Robert. Lunch is at 2 at, at King's Crab, I think it is over by the In N Out. And she was like, okay, I'll get ready. It's. Dude, it's 1:55. And she, she's still in her gardening clothes. And I'm like hey look, like we gotta go. And she's just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I get ready, I get ready. I'm like, look, I'll be straight up, like I think punctuality something like if you're not punctual, you're, you're disrespecting people's time and it's rude. And so I'm just letting you know where I stand. With that. And she was like, oh, yeah, yeah, I get ready. This continued through our whole relationship, but I let it slide. That day we showed up like 2:45, and everybody that had been there since 2, my sister Robert, his girlfriend, and. And honestly, it was. It was something else. But, like, punctuality to me is very important because I feel like people's time is important to them. And when you don't respect their time, you don't respect them. [01:25:21] Speaker A: Yeah, I feel the same way. This one time, my mom bought us all tickets for a baseball game when they were out here visiting. And she goes, hey, is 2:30 an all right time? Like, can we leave at 2:30? 2:30? And everyone included was like, yeah, 2:30 works perfect. At 2:20, she started dyeing her hair. And so I was just like, all right, so we're leaving without you. And she's like, yeah, I'm just gonna have to meet you there. And I was just like, you're not coming. And she's like, don't say that. I'm coming. Like, I told you I'm coming. And she kept me on the hook till 8 o'clock at night. It was 8 o'clock when she finally admitted she's not gonna show up for the ninth inning of this baseball game. And I was like. And I was like, are you serious? I knew that. We all knew you weren't coming to this game. It's wild. [01:26:20] Speaker B: Well, that's. I'm not gonna lie. That's nuts. That's nuts. What? What? And kudos to you because it doesn't sound like there was a repercussion. [01:26:28] Speaker A: No, no, I just made fun of her. [01:26:31] Speaker B: Did you reimburse. Did you reimburse your mama? [01:26:34] Speaker A: No, Couldn't. Wish I could. [01:26:37] Speaker B: Yeah. Sorry, mama. What about not avoids commitment? I know you're in. You're in a. You're married. So just. But I know for me it's. I've met females that want me to be more committed. And in fact, this last weekend, I had said I'd met Veronica, who I dated 25 years ago or so. And I met her, she said, hey, I'm having a really hard. I had a really hard day at work. I'd love if you can meet me for drinks and karaoke. So I met her for drinks and karaoke and I said, man, like, it's good seeing you, you know? And she was like, yeah, yeah, I miss you. I was like, yeah, I could tell. And I was joking. [01:27:26] Speaker A: How's she holding up? [01:27:26] Speaker B: But I was. There was Some tr. You know, she was drunk by time I got there, and so perfect. There were some things I didn't care for, you know, like some dudes were dancing with her because, honestly, I'm showing up. I didn't really want to show up, but I showed up. She danced with some guys, which I was cool with, but one of them grabbed her ass. She didn't take his hand off of it. And so when he sat down, when they stopped dancing, I addressed her first and I said, hey, look, the whole grabbing the ass thing, I ain't cool with. And she was like, oh, I didn't even notice it. I was like, yeah, I'm sure you did. You just didn't say nothing. And then he sat down. I said, hey, look, he was an ex marine. I said, hey, look, we cool and all, but the whole grabbing the ass thing, don't do that again. Like, let's make sure that, like, going forward, I'm gonna be a man with you. Don't grab her ass again. He was like, man, I didn't even realize. I was like, we good. Just don't do it again. And then afterwards, she was drunk, mind you. I switched up from whiskey to Jack & Co, called the Jack in a low ball. You know, like, I want. I don't want to have to get in the conversation of why I'm not drinking. So I just get Coca Cola in the low ball. And so we go to leave, and she's like, you know, I just want more from you and this and that. I said, hey, look, I already told you straight up, my daughter's come first. I got my daughter every the week. I text you when I can. And she was like, yeah, I know, but I just hate it. I said, well, let's just get something straight. You kick rocks, it's like, what? I guess I'll just kick rocks. I said, yeah, kick rocks. Because you'll never come before my daughters. And if that's what you're expecting, ain't never going to happen because my daughters come first. So just kick rocks. So most women want commitment from me, but out of the gate, I'm very upfront. My daughters come. Come first. Here's my schedule, and if I don't respond to your text or calls, just know I'm with my daughters. I'm not. I'm not around. I'm too old for that. I ain't with other females. I'm just. I'm with my daughters. If you need a picture, I'll snap you a pic. Just say I need A picture because I'm, I'm struggling. But if you're going to sit there and let it be and you're going to play your little thumbs up games on my, like, text when I say, hey, look, I have been thinking about you, you know, thumbs up. It kick rocks with that shit. I don't need that shit. So I get that being a red flag for females. What about moves too fast? And this is where love bombing comes in. What about moves too fast? What about a female that moves too fast? Like first night intimate. Like, I ain't gonna lie, I've had some, there's two kind of fast. I've had some females that are like spitting my mouth and I'm like, oh, you crazy, girl. Cuz, like, I, I, I'd love to spit in your mouth. You gonna spit back. [01:30:28] Speaker A: Okay. There's been, there have been three, I wanna say, three occasions in my life where I was, I'm gonna call it a flow state, like I was bringing it and I, in a moment of vulnerability was like, spit in my mouth. And three out of three times they laughed and said what? And just didn't do it. [01:30:57] Speaker B: You never had someone spit in your mouth? [01:30:59] Speaker A: No, no. [01:31:00] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh, I ain't gonna lie. Like, this girl said, spit in my mouth. And I was like, I think I want to marry you tomorrow, dude. I love a good spit in the mouth. [01:31:13] Speaker A: Seems great. [01:31:13] Speaker B: I'm not gonna lie, dude, it is. She says bit in my mouth and I was like, oh, only if you spit mine back. Like, honestly, like, I love that. That, that is like, that's almost, that's like, that's like you got an intimacy. You got past intimacy. Spitting in my mouth is past it. Yeah, that's past it. Like, like, yeah, that is like, oof. Oof. Man, if you were ever a trainee, I'd spit in your mouth. I ain't gonna lie, bro. I ain't gonna lie. However, I'm never gonna be a trainee. And honestly, by the way, by the way it looks of your jawline and your structure, you probably never be a trainee either. But if you could ever be a convincing tranny, I spit in your mouth, brother. [01:31:59] Speaker A: All right, I appreciate that. [01:32:05] Speaker B: All right, so here's, Check this out. This is where I think love bombing comes in. In. [01:32:09] Speaker A: Okay. [01:32:10] Speaker B: And in one of my therapy sessions, we had a class on love bombing. And we had a class on, on gaslighting, which I think is another whole separate, separate topic. [01:32:23] Speaker A: I'm a big fan of that. [01:32:25] Speaker B: Okay, well, love bombing, according to Cleveland Clinic is a form of psychological and emotional abuse often disguised as excessive flattery. So I was like, ah, man. Like, what is what? You know, like, so let's. Let's just look at love bombing. What is it? What is love bombing? Because I've had some females call me a love bomber. Mind you, these females have also been what I would call catfishing. Not that they were separate people than what they. What their images were, but they were filter heavy. [01:33:05] Speaker A: They missed. Misled you. [01:33:10] Speaker B: Yeah. And I commented on it, like, man, you ain't got a wrinkle on your face. Man, your face is. Your skin is so smooth. And, you know, they were like, oh, well, you know, and they kind of passively pass it like, I got a couple of wrinkles. And then immediately like, are you a meth addict? Like, how did. [01:33:26] Speaker A: Dude, like, 71 years old, dude, I. [01:33:30] Speaker B: Met this one chick, and we were talking for, like, a good couple weeks, and I was like, dude, like, you're. You're beautiful. Like, wow. Like, you're almost flawless. Like, are you sure you're my age? Like, I think we might be out of age range. And she's like, no, you know, I got some wrinkles. And I'm like, man, and then I meet her, and I'm like, you got scabs on your face that were not shown in these pictures. Like, you. You. I would have never known you was a smoker. You know what I mean? Like, you have no smoking wrinkles in these pictures. Like, you. Honestly, I grew up around meth addicts because my uncles and my aunts were meth addicts. And so I'm looking at her, I'm like, nah, man, you around with some. I don't around with, you know. [01:34:14] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:34:16] Speaker B: And they're making fun of their kids, and. And I'm like, man, you weird. So most often associated with people who have insecurities or narcissism or are narcissistic, I should say. And I think. Well, I think narcissistic people are often insecure people. Now, the first time I ever heard of narcissism was when I was evangelizing. People were like, oh, well, the apostles were just narcissists. That's why they did what they did. And I'm like, how. What? The first of all was narcissist, and how's that playing to someone that, like, really? I don't think that's the case. Because the apostles and the disciples more or less talked more about their failures and their. Their successes. Signs of love bombing. They give needless gifts they're in a rush to lock things down. They're always available and demanding of your time. They can't take no for an answer. They like you better when you're alone. They're over communicate. They're over communicative. Communicative. They're over communicating. Hold on, man. They over communicate this. That's what I really wrote. They over communicate. And their love for you. They over communicate their love for you. And according to psychology today, love bombing is an attempt to influence another person with over the top displays of attention and affection. Words such as you're my soulmate or you're my person, or you're my other half. They use those frequently. They say the goal and it's so. So I'm looking at love bombing. I'm like, what's the problem with love bombing? Like, what is the ultimate goal of love bombing? Like, what is, what is. What do people try and gain from love bombing? What's the upper hand of love bombing? And they say the goal is to force trust and dependency so that the bomber becomes the most important person, making it easier for them to devalue or discard you later. H, cuz I feel like love bombing is a fairly new term. [01:36:48] Speaker A: Yes, definitely. [01:36:51] Speaker B: But I feel like it's out there. Like I've been called a love bomber. I'm like, no, I would, I would. Based on what I know about you, I would, I would have a relationship with you. But the more I get to know you, the more I probably wouldn't. Maybe I. I don't consider myself a love bomber, but I give. I consider myself a hopeless romantic in the sense of like, I love what we have, but then you dilute it with shit, you know, like for instance, I was seeing a therapist. I was dating a therapist, I should say, who I wasn't seeing for my therapist. She just so happened to have a career as a therapist. And so I felt comfortable talking to her. We talked about everything. And then as soon as now, mind you, she was still married. She was thinking about going through her divorce, but she hadn't done it yet. She kind of led me astray a couple times where she was like, oh, I really want to be with you, but I'm married, I can't partake. And I respected the boundaries. I was like, okay, cool, whatever. But she kept leading me on and then pushing me away. And I was like, cool, whatever. So we got together one night, we were talking, and then the following night, the following week, I had the friend over who wanted more of me, who I Said kick rocks. And, you know, we, we had a great connection. We dated 25 years ago, and we had a great connection. And I told her when she arrived that night, we had some drinks and we were listening to music. I said, hey, look, I don't want to, like, I just want you to know, like, we're not having sex tonight. Like, I don't want to be intimate. She was like, why? And I said, because you have different values than I have. Like, you don't want to be married again. I want to be married again, but I enjoy your company. And so we're going to listen to some music and kind of have some drinks and we listen to music, we had some drinks. We. We karaoke, if you will. We had a good night. And then she made her move. And next thing you know, I wake up. It's. It's. It's in the morning, and I'm like, whoa, where the fuck am I? I'm naked. I'm in my bed. She's getting up. I see her naked, ask, get up and go get dressed and leave for. For her work. And I shared it with a therapist. I said, hey, look, I didn't come over last night when you wanted to. She said, you know, I was really sick. I really wanted you to cuddle. I said, yeah, I ain't gonna lie. I, I didn't, I didn't come over because I had a friend come over that, you know, longtime friend. And we had some drinks and she was like, did you sleep with her? And I was like, honestly, I don't even know. I said, we drank all night, we sang some songs, we listened to music. I said, however, I woke up the morning, I was butt ass naked, and I see her getting out of my bed naked, getting ready to go home. I said, now, if I was a betting man, I probably fucked it. You know what I mean? Like, if I was a betting man, yeah, we slept together. But I said, I don't rem. I, I honestly, in all my, like, consciousness, I don't remember. Like, I blacked out. I don't know. I said, but if I was a bet man, I'd bet that I slept with her, but I can't say that I did. I said, but if you're asking me to bet on it, I. Yeah, we slept together. And she was like, oh, my gosh. And she didn't want to talk to me. And I was like, what the you getting upset for? I'm being straight up with you. And she's like, well, you know, like, I thought we were going to be something and I was like, dude, you been married half the time that we've been flirting. And you like, what, what are you like, are you really serious? Like, you, you're nuts. So. And she's like, you're just a love bomber. I'm like, no, I've. I've tried to pursue you and you let me in just enough to tell me you're married. And then you tell me, no, I'm married. Sure. Well, I was getting a divorce because I felt like we had a future. Well, shit, you left me out of that whole conversation. So the fuck you mad about? Like, I'm being straight up with you. You honestly become a very unsafe place to talk to. Like, you went from being a really comfortable place to talk to, which is what really attracted me to you. Because, like, between me and you and everybody else listening, I guess she wasn't a good looking in person. Like, she was. She wasn't ugly, but she wasn't somebody. I'd be like, damn, like, that's a good looking girl. It was somebody I'd have to wake up next to him. Be like, well, like I could talk to her, you know, like, she's got a good personality, you know, I mean, like, it would be that kind of person. And so now this comes where she's mistreating me because I told her the truth. I was almost like, well, like, now you're just ugly, you know, like, now I can't be honest with you, so let's move forward. Doesn't take. [01:41:51] Speaker A: So that was an example of gaslighting, what you were just doing, right? [01:41:55] Speaker B: Love bombing. [01:41:57] Speaker A: Were you purposely trying to gaslight this chick? [01:42:00] Speaker B: No, but she kept calling me a love bomber. And I'm like, I'm not a love bomber. Like, I honestly felt like we had a future together, but part of that was the fact that I felt so comfortable talking to you. [01:42:11] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:42:12] Speaker B: But then after our, after I had this night with this other woman, and mind you, we're not even dating and I'm sharing with you the honest truth of like, if I'm a betting man, I probably slept with her. And you're miss. You're like, silence. The silence treating me well. Fuck, I don't think you're safe anymore. You know, I mean, like, I was honestly being brutally honest with you because I felt. I felt like you were a safe person to talk to. Yeah, I go. [01:42:41] Speaker A: I go hard in new relationships. I go hard. But it sounds like there's a nefarious motive behind it. So, like, I Don't know if it's really just love bombing if you're just like swarming the person, you know? [01:43:00] Speaker B: Well, that's how I feel. Like, honestly, I don't feel like it's love arming. I feel like it's home, but hopeless. Romantasy. [01:43:06] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:43:06] Speaker B: You know, I mean, like, like if we clicked, we clicked, baby girl. [01:43:10] Speaker A: Oh, shit. Are we toxic and we just can't see it? We just. [01:43:14] Speaker B: How I feel like, like I'm not trying to love bomb you, but honestly, I feel like if we click, like, do we conquer the world? Let's Johnny swim this thing, you know? I mean, like, like you and me, we could take the world, you know what I mean? Like king and queens, you know, like, they'll. They'll search for everything to have what we have. Let's do this thing, you know what I mean? Like, you know, let's Johnny swim this, you know? Look at that group up. That's a great. That's a great song. You know, you and me could take the world. Honestly, it's a great song. And they're Christians. All right, so let's move forward. Doesn't. Because again, we're working on a time constraint, but we got a lot of. We got a lot we. We haven't hit like halfway through the men's thing. [01:43:57] Speaker A: Two parts parter. I think we're doing a two parter. [01:44:01] Speaker B: You're a big two parter guy. You know, your, your overview of revelation was a two parter. [01:44:06] Speaker A: Was it? [01:44:07] Speaker B: You know, it was. It was a two parter. And, and then like, you spent a good five minutes recapping part one in part two, and I was like, you probably could have handled it. We might have to two part this, but let's at least finish the men's and then we could two part the women's and so forth next week. Doesn't take your safety seriously. Women to men. Doesn't take your safety seriously. Now, mind you, I live in an apartment. I live on the second story. My daughter's boyfriend parks on the outside because he doesn't want to be towed. And he will sometimes drop my daughter on the outside of the gate and let her walk up. My daughter's 18. The walk is maybe 30 yards. She hits the stairs. I'm the first place on the left. I got drunk one night and I had this conversation with them and I said, hey, look, why the don't you open the door for my daughter when she comes down? He said, sometimes she takes 20 minutes. I said, I don't Give a fuck. I don't. Long as she takes. You can't see the fact that she's coming down. Just stand by. You're like, you could be on your phone. Just be on the phone outside her door. Beyond the. Be on the phone outside her car door so you could open it for her. He's like, well, you. Yeah, I get that. But, you know. And I'm like. And then when she. When. When you drop her off, you don't walk her up to the front door. Yeah, I'll tell you what. How about you text me that you're not going to walk up to the front door, and I'll walk down your car and get my daughter. That's how important she is to me. My daughter doesn't see it as. As a red flag. He don't see it as a red flag. However, dog, I've listened to a bunch of true crime. It's a red flag for me. You know what I mean? Like, it's a red flag for me. But they don't see it that way. She's like, he's really good to me. I'm like, yeah, I could tell. [01:46:06] Speaker A: Dude. I bought us these poles that go under your doorknob, and then you push it on the ground, and it, like, pushes extra tension up on the doorknob so that no one can break in. [01:46:22] Speaker B: And now I've never even heard of this, so I'm kind of confused. [01:46:25] Speaker A: Yeah, it's. I didn't describe it very well. It's. It's a pole with just, like, a little hook that goes under the doorknob. Then you push the pole down on the floor, and it just like. [01:46:36] Speaker B: Okay, yeah, okay, yeah, I get what you're saying. [01:46:39] Speaker A: I bought two of these for the front and back door, and now if I don't put that under the door, even with the deadbolt locked, she acts like I'm leaving the door open for anyone to just come in and rape and kill us all. And it's like, you know, we didn't have these for three years, right? [01:47:01] Speaker B: I'm not gonna lie. When I leave, I leave my front door unlocked. Hold on. The only thing that makes me lock them is, like, what if this is the one time somebody stumbles into the door? So I do lock them, but, like, if I'm about to leave to go pick up my daughter from school, and it's just me, my daughter. My other daughter's already left for work, I will leave the door unlocked, and I'll go pick up my daughter from school and Come back home. [01:47:28] Speaker A: That's not crazy if it's just like a half hour. [01:47:32] Speaker B: That's how I feel. But then when I do leave, sometimes I'm kind of like, what if this is the moment where I walk back home and I'm like, you should have just locked the door. This would have never happened. So there are times that I lock the door. Like. [01:47:48] Speaker A: One time I got up in the morning and I couldn't find my keys anywhere. I'm, I'm like running late for work. I'm like, where are my keys? I'm looking in every room. Dirty clothes, everywhere I can. I was like, did I leave them in the car? Like holy, what did I do? I opened the front door. They're in the lock on the front door. I just left them there from 5 o'clock when I got home the night before till 8 in the morning when I'm trying to leave. [01:48:21] Speaker B: So do you have a deadbolt that unlocks from a key on the inside? [01:48:28] Speaker A: No, they were on the outside of the door. [01:48:31] Speaker B: Really? [01:48:32] Speaker A: So anyone walking by could have just seen a big key ring hanging out of the door and just. [01:48:39] Speaker B: But you're, you're in Oklahoma. [01:48:41] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:48:41] Speaker B: Right. Is in the area that you're in a big, a low income, I'm not gonna say a bad area. Is it low income? [01:48:50] Speaker A: No. [01:48:51] Speaker B: Huh. So you pretty safe? [01:48:53] Speaker A: Yeah, but I mean there's a lot of like car break ins and stuff in the neighborhood. [01:48:59] Speaker B: Don't get me wrong. Like in, in saved neighborhoods come become unsafe real quick over incidences that like that. So I totally relate. I, I totally understand. So is 8pm to 5am When I. [01:49:15] Speaker A: Got home at like 5:30 I unlocked the door and then shut it behind me without taking my keys out. And then the next Morning at like 7:45 I'm looking for my keys and I can't find them. Made my blood run cold. Anyone could have come across those keys and just let themselves right into the fucking house. [01:49:39] Speaker B: Alright, so again we have a good part of this list to go through. What about compromising? [01:49:47] Speaker A: Interesting. Here's something about compromising. Let me put it to you this way. You want to wear a pair of black shoes and C word wants you to wear a pair of brown shoes. So what's a true compromise there? [01:50:06] Speaker B: Funny you say that because I do have a pair of Air Jordan ones that are black and brown. [01:50:13] Speaker A: Okay, but those aren't in this, those aren't part of this equation. The, the true compromise is you wear one brown shoe and one black shoe. [01:50:24] Speaker B: No, the true Compromise is what makes me feel comfortable. Confident. What am I gonna feel confident in? Because that's how I'm best operate. [01:50:32] Speaker A: But that means either going with what she wants or what you want. So that ain't a common. [01:50:37] Speaker B: You honestly have to. You. But you have to take that into consideration, because sometimes you look in the mirror and you're like, oh, you know what? A brown shoe does feel better at the end of the day. What is going to make you more confident as her partner in public? If you're wearing the brown shoe, you don't feel confident. You're not going to operate in that confidence. Confidence. Yeah, but, you know, like. Like, number three would want to go to school sometimes in just. Yeah, the light went out. Number three would sometimes want to go to school in. In rain boots, a tutu, and, like, a T shirt. And I was like, well, how do you feel about this? And she would say, you know, I feel really good. I feel really good. And I say, you know what? Honestly, that's all that matters, is that you feel good. I could care less how I feel about it, because I can make you dress in the greatest of outfits. But if you're not confident, you're not gonna. You're not gonna walk. You're not gonna function in confidence at school. You're just not. You're gonna. You're gonna function like. I remember the day my dad made me wear Ops, you know, Ocean Pacifics. You might not even know what kind of shoes those are. My dad would make me wear Ocean Pacifics to school, and I would just felt. I felt inadequate. I felt insecure. I felt like not a. Not a person. I felt like a poor kid. I was like, yeah, my mom, she'd be like, what made you feel confident? I was like, my Reebok pumps. And she was like, boom, go ahead and wear your Reebok pumps. My dad was like, nine, paying no $90 for a pair of shoes you got. Here's some $10 Ocean Pacifics. I felt like a little poor kid going to school, bro. Like, no, it wasn't happening. So when my daughters feel confident, which is how I operate. And it's funny because I went on a date today, and the lady was, you know, the woman I was talking to was like, you know, honestly, like, I might change my outfit a couple times during, like, before I go out because, like, I have to figure out how I feel and what makes me feel confident. And I'm like, I get that. I get it all day. Like, I understand that, because I honestly changed three Times before I came on this breakfast date with you, you know, like I did, I went from a white shirt to a gray shirt to a button up shirt. And finally I settled on the button up shirt because I wanted to feel confident sitting with you and talking to you. I didn't want to sit here and be worried about constantly what I'm wearing, how I'm gonna raise my arms, what I'm gonna look like. What about never apologizes? Does your wife apologize? [01:53:24] Speaker A: No, she's a woman. I try to only apologize if I really mean, mean it, which is harder than it sounds. I try not to constantly apologize for. Just to like, ease the situation when I don't mean it. But. [01:53:48] Speaker B: Wow. [01:53:48] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:53:49] Speaker B: So you will sometimes apologize when you don't mean it. [01:53:52] Speaker A: Sometimes. It's rare. [01:53:58] Speaker B: Okay. So I found myself, like, honestly, I feel like if I wrote a life story about. If I wrote a book about my life story, it would. The title I've always said would be I'm sorry. [01:54:15] Speaker A: Why is that? [01:54:17] Speaker B: I feel like sometimes. Sometimes an apology just, you know, I could be at, like, make. Oh, shit. I feel like I could be at McDonald's and you'd know I'm ordering something and I want to switch up my order. And instead of like pissing off, like the person behind the. The machine, just a simple, like, I'm sorry ends all of it, you know, like, hey, I'm sorry, I'm going to change my order and I really apologize, but like, you know, instead of like ten piece and I guess I. I really want a Big Mac. I'm sorry for making you do all the extra work. I feel like if you sincerely mean ends a lot of unwanted, unnecessary contention. [01:55:10] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. I'm quick, but I feel like I'm. [01:55:14] Speaker B: Sorry for a lot of things in my life. I think I just pissed on part of my couch. So what happens when you drink? Guys start filling up bottles of piss when you don't have a urinal close by. [01:55:37] Speaker A: Falling apart. [01:55:38] Speaker B: I'm on to. I'm on two Bob wine bottles full of piss and a water bottle. So I, you know, like, go upstairs. [01:55:49] Speaker A: I mean. [01:55:53] Speaker B: Well, then I'm off. I'm off. I'm off recording, bro. I don't know. I don't know the. I don't know the strength of this. This receiver. I don't know the strength of this mic, you know? [01:56:03] Speaker A: All right, fair point. [01:56:07] Speaker B: I just need to not drink so much when we're. When we're conversing. So do you apologize because you mean it? Do you apologize because you're just trying to end in an argument. [01:56:22] Speaker A: That's pretty rare. I'm sure I've done it. [01:56:27] Speaker B: What's rare? The end the argument or the because you mean it? [01:56:30] Speaker A: Ending the argument. [01:56:33] Speaker B: Okay, so you actually do mean it. You're. [01:56:36] Speaker A: Yeah, even if I'm. If I'm gonna apologize to someone because I wrote a ticket wrong at work, like, I mean it. I'm not gonna go out of my way to say sorry unless I. I mean it. [01:56:49] Speaker B: Okay, so when you say to your wife, she knows this dude means it. She should. She is serious about she should, but. [01:56:59] Speaker A: She doesn't take me seriously, so. [01:57:02] Speaker B: Well, it's hard to take you serious when you joke so much. I know. And I don't mean that. No, I'm not trying to be. I'm not trying to say that. Friend to friend in a rude way. Like, I just. What I've heard my whole life. Like, there are times where I've apologized and people are like, I don't know if I could take you serious because you joke so much. And I'm like, no, I'm dead ass serious. Like, when I apologize, I apologize. Like, this isn't a joke to me. But so many people think I joke so much that they don't know when to take me serious. [01:57:31] Speaker A: Yeah, same. But I am committed to a life of funny first, so. [01:57:38] Speaker B: Yeah, so am I. What about a voice communicating about conflict? [01:57:51] Speaker A: That's a tough one. [01:57:56] Speaker B: I think that's a tough one because people could sometimes see conflict is unnecessary. [01:58:03] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:58:04] Speaker B: You know, like. Like, time is so precious. Like, why are you. About the unnecessary conflict? Like, we. We agree to disagree. Let's just move forward, you know, like, enjoying life. [01:58:21] Speaker A: Yeah. I'm quick to move past small stuff and not. I don't need to have that out or talk about that, but I'm very willing to talk about, like, the more serious things that bother me. So that's a little bit. A little bit of both. Both columns for me on that one. [01:58:47] Speaker B: Okay. What about respecting your boundaries again? These are red flags women have for men. What about respecting her boundaries? [01:58:54] Speaker A: I don't. I don't respect any of them. I kick the door open when she's pissing. Like, give me the 1, 2, 3, 4. That pussy till it's sore trying to play pinball in my town. We'll see about that. [01:59:20] Speaker B: Do you respect boundaries, though? I feel like you're a dude who does respect boundaries. I respect boundaries. [01:59:27] Speaker A: Like, what do we mean by boundaries? [01:59:29] Speaker B: Like, so I don't know, man. Like, this girl I've been talking to. [01:59:33] Speaker A: I literally said, sneak the camera under the bathroom door and take pictures of her pissing and then text them to her. Do you really text them to her? Yeah. [01:59:42] Speaker B: How come those aren't on your insta. Close friends? [01:59:47] Speaker A: They're on the close, close friends. [01:59:51] Speaker B: So when. When I, When I date as a single man, I try and make it as comfortable as possible. So, like, the girl I'm talking to now lives about two and a half hours away from me. And I said, hey, look, I would love for you to be my plus one at this event. My friends getting married, I'd love for you to be my plus one. However, I understand if you don't want to be because you live so far away, but if you choose to stay, just understand you're welcome to have my bedroom. I will sleep on the couch, like, and I'm sincere with that. Like, I have no problem sleeping on the couch. That you feel comfortable sleeping in the bed. That you don't have to worry about intimacy or something going further than it should. I want to make sure that, like, the females I'm with the balls in their court always to make the first move. And mine mainly because of the me too movement, you know? Like, I never want females to say, like, you tricked me. You did this. You made me feel. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like, you, you feel comfortable. If you want me in the room, that's something you have to verbalize. But if you don't want me in the room, just know I provided the atmosphere that I don't have to be in the room. [02:01:15] Speaker A: Yeah. [02:01:18] Speaker B: This next one was tricky and I kind of want to know your take on it because I know. I kind of know you. Doesn't have boundaries with his mother. [02:01:35] Speaker A: Yeah, I hide everything from my mother. [02:01:40] Speaker B: Really. [02:01:41] Speaker A: I use. I don't know what caused it, but I've just always been very shy or insecure about anything romantic. So, like, I used to. Everyone knew I was lying. It was like a joke that I was lying. If I was going out on a date, I would be like, I'd be leaving and my mom would be like, where are you going? And I'd be like, I'm going to go buy crack or I'm seeing a prostitute or something. Like, I would just say something. [02:02:12] Speaker B: Did. Did your parents ever think you were gay? [02:02:16] Speaker A: My dad joked about it. [02:02:20] Speaker B: So he was. He must have thought it. He must have thought it. [02:02:24] Speaker A: Why? What You. You just said must many times. [02:02:28] Speaker B: Because your dad's. Your dad's a jokester bro. And like, honestly, people like your dad joke. [02:02:34] Speaker A: In truth, sometimes he convinced my aunt that I was gay. He probably. [02:02:42] Speaker B: Cuz he believed it. He probably was like, yeah, my son's gas. [02:02:45] Speaker A: I don't know. Well, I mean, maybe, maybe. But she said it to me like kind of seriously at a picnic one time and I was like, why do you think that? Like, why are you, why are you telling people that? And he looks, he pointed at my shirt. He's like, look, he's wearing a Danzig shirt. That's a gay band. He's wearing. He's wearing a gay shirt right now. [02:03:13] Speaker B: I guess I can see you dad saying that. Your dad is. Your dad introduced me to the fact that my, my second oldest talked like SpongeBob for a while. Like your dad was like, is her voice not hard on your ears? And I was like, you know what? Now that you say it, would you say that? Yeah, it's hard on my ears. What about lacks emotional intelligence? [02:03:44] Speaker A: That's another one I would need a definition on. [02:03:48] Speaker B: Well, I mean, like, let's say lacks emotional intelligence, you know, for, for a while with Chris Davis, this was really big because he was held from ministry because his higher up said, you're emotionally, you're emotionally immature. I think with that it comes with like, you hear some news and instead of like processing it and trying to respond accordingly, you react in emotion. You know, you're like, you know, oh, they did this. And you respond erratically. And I didn't see him as emotionally immature until he brought it up. And I was like, okay, I can see how you might be emotionally immature. Like you don't necessarily sit back with the info and you process it and you respond. You respond strictly out of the straight emotion you're feeling right then and there. So in a sense of let's say you're talking about exes and you're kind of like your whole demeanor changes because they're talking about exes and let's say you start stalking them. I don't know, it's just some crazy. Let's just say you start stalking their exes. Do you think that's emotionally immature? Yeah, you know, that would be crazy. [02:05:04] Speaker A: If someone did that. [02:05:08] Speaker B: Do. But would that be a red flag for you as a female that they're, you're a man, you know, you. And honestly you're not going to know if they're stalking them. But let's say you bring up something from the past and they change their demeanor. Is that a turn off? [02:05:26] Speaker A: I think it would be, yeah. Should be okay. [02:05:32] Speaker B: I agree. That was something. I definitely put a red star next to. Honestly. To me, red flag isn't honest. Not being honest is definitely a red flag. Cheating, these are some of the other words that they use for females towards men. Cheating. Yeah, I believe that's a red flag too. Doesn't celebrate your successes. Is an important one as a male. Your woman gets a promotion. Are you celebrating her success or are you trying to. And this could go so many different ways. You could, you could either say, like, you're, you know, in, in the slightest ways, in the most slick ways. You can say you're not qualified. But I think even more deceptively, you could say you could almost kind of say what they could do better or how you're, how you would respond, meaning you're more qualified for that, that, that area. And you might not even be in the same profession, you know, like, like you said your, your lady was a barista. Let's say she gets, you know, promoted to manager, and you're like, oh, you know, like, man, like, you could be so discouraging and like, hey, you're gonna have to get up earlier. Like, what you need to be doing is X, Y and Z. And you know, as a manager, be, be cautious of this. And instead of just being like, yeah, like, they saw something in you that made you a manager, you're almost, you're almost cautioning them on, like, how to be a manager or cautioning them on, like, how, like, ooh, don't let them find out that you do X, Y. Like, don't let them know you have a hard time getting up in the morning. Like, what are you going to do if you can't get up at 5 in the morning? You could be discouraging in so many ways that are positive and negative. You know what I mean? Like, how would you take it if your female was like that with you? [02:07:40] Speaker A: I. I don't know. I don't know. I'm not sure I would readily pick up on that. [02:07:54] Speaker B: No, it's deceptive. It's deceptive in the most. You know, like, if you were sitting here and you're like, hey, dude, I just got promoted at work. And as your, as your friend, I'm like, ooh, just make sure. And it could come across almost as, like, very genuine. Very. [02:08:13] Speaker A: I don't think. [02:08:14] Speaker B: But at the same time, like, I. [02:08:18] Speaker A: Wouldn'T necessarily be like, stoked that that was the response, but I, I can't imagine carrying that with me 10 minutes later. [02:08:26] Speaker B: Yeah, but females are different. Mind you, like, you know, they're, they're a little slower. They're, they're not inferior. Kidding. Yes. But at the same time, like, they want to see that bothering a female, you know, like, what is that about? Like, let's just talk about the vote for a minute, you know. [02:08:49] Speaker A: Enough. Jesus. [02:08:50] Speaker B: But I can see that I could be that. I can see that being discouraging for a female to say, like, hey, I just got promoted to manager. And you're like, hey, you know, just, just you know, word of the wise, you know, like, you know, I've been in that position before, you know, instead of you being like, yeah, like, you know, like, right on. You're sitting there trying to coach them on how to do certain things, you know, I feel like that is very discouraging and I can see that being a red flag. But frequently jealous. What do you. Because I, I honestly see, frequently jealous is almost an attraction. Like, to me, I'm an attracted. I'm attracted to a woman who's jealous over me maybe to an extent, you know, but for the most part, I think that's an attract, an attractive characteristic of a woman who's jealous. [02:09:49] Speaker A: Yeah, that doesn't bother me. I've never been with anyone super jealous, but a little jealous. [02:10:02] Speaker B: But I see it being very unattractive for a woman who has a man who's jealous. I don't know for sure because I think that, I think that stems from insecurities. [02:10:14] Speaker A: I don't know if your man is. [02:10:16] Speaker B: The leader of your, your pack. [02:10:19] Speaker A: I think they bait men. [02:10:23] Speaker B: Oh, I do too. I had a female that did bait me. She was 29. I had a friend coming into town who I'd been friends with for 15 years. Now, mind you, I was friends with her and her husband for 15 plus years. They are now divorced and she was still coming into town. And she had kids that knew my kids. And she was like, hey, I hope we still get together, you know, while I'm in town. And I said, hey, are you cool with me inviting my girlfriend and her kids? She's like, no, that's totally cool. I said, great. So I invited my girlfriend the week before this event took place. And my girlfriend was like, yeah, I'm down, I'm down. I'm down. Down. Now, mind you, my girlfriend didn't speak English at all. She spoke Spanish. I don't speak Spanish at all. But, you know, we communicated. And I said, hey, look, you know, like it's this Friday or whatever. And she hit me up that morning and Said, hey, my daughters have the flu, and we're not gonna make it tonight to, like, kick back with you and your. Your friend. I said, okay, well, I'm still gonna go because, like, they're out here. They grew up together. Like, I'm still gonna go. But I contacted her while I was at my friend's place. Like, she ran. She had a. A timeshare out in the Marriott that had, like, a whole swim pool, and, you know, like, cool, you know, So I contacted her while I was there. Like, hey, we're about to go in the pool. You know, just kind of touch base with her. The following week, we kicked back. And she goes, hey, my friend's coming into town from Mexico. And I was like, oh, cool. And she was, I'm gonna spend the weekend at his. At his apartment. I was like, totally cool. You know, like, that's cool. And she was. She kept saying it, and I was like, okay, cool. And I said, well, you know, I was planning on doing this this weekend, but, like, if you're busy, I totally understand it. And she was like, no, I could totally go. And I was like, well, wait, aren't you. Aren't you kicking it with your friend from Mexico? And she goes, no, I don't have a friend coming from Mexico. And I was like, well, why'd you say that? She's like, because I wanted to see if you were jealous, like. And I said, no, I'm not. I'm never jealous. And she was like, well, why not? I said, because honestly, I don't trust any man that's in your presence. I don't trust any man that's in any of my girlfriend's presence. Like, if I'm dating someone, I don't trust any men. My trust is in you as my partner. That's where my trust lies. My trust doesn't lie in that man that I don't know. My trust lies in you. So if you're deciding that this is a man who respects your boundaries, I trust that that's your decision. Like, my trust is in you, that you trust that that man's not going to overstep his boundaries. So that's where my trust is. But the fact that she was like, no, I just wanted to see if you were jealous. It was like. It was like, really? Like, I had to take a step back and be like, so you're. That's where you're at? Like, you're. You're tit for tatting. You know what I mean? Like, you know, so, yeah, like, you Know the, the, the jealousy I get, I, I'm attracted to it, but to a degree. Controlling, manipulating, mood, swinging. Those are the next three. Not down for any of those. I'm not down for the controlling, especially with, with kids involved. I'm not down for the manipulating and I'm not down for the mood swings. Like, you got all that. Miss me with that. Go do your own thing. Gaslighting. Now, gaslighting is where something that women. [02:14:02] Speaker A: Made up because they're fucking crazy. [02:14:07] Speaker B: Dude. I feel that way. But honestly, when I was going through it in therapy and they were telling me gaslighting, a lot of my relation to gaslighting was my conversations with my ex. And so to read it real quick, it's, it's. Denial is one. I never said that. You know, like, like I never meant that. Like, what are you talking about? Distraction changes the subject, you know, where you're like, you're talking about something and all of a sudden she's like, you know, well, what about this? You know, you did this and you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That has nothing to do with what you just brought up. Ignoring or avoidance. You know, leaving for hours, taking off, you know, not coming back for hours, going to do something else, and then, you know, kind of trying to make sure the conversation is forgotten about minimalizing or trivializing. That's not you. You're making that a bigger deal than what you need to make it. You know, like, I don't know even why you're bringing that up. Projection. Maybe you're the one cheating. You're accusing me of cheating? Maybe you're the one who's actually having an affair. Maybe you're the one who's lying. Maybe you're the one doing the things you're saying you're accusing me of doing. [02:15:31] Speaker A: Maybe there's used condoms in your passenger seat. [02:15:35] Speaker B: What. [02:15:35] Speaker A: What are we talking about here? You're just projecting this. [02:15:41] Speaker B: Put downs, name calling or belittling. I know when I wanted to walk away from certain conversations because there was no positivity coming from them. There was no progression coming from them. She would say, you're just like your father. You're a pussy. Only bitch. Bitches walk away from conversations. Sabotaging. I'm not gonna lie, I think I sabotaged somewhat in my marriage. Some of this is like, there's an important letter that comes through in the mail, you throw it away. Or there's pertinent information that you should have shared that you just like, I'm not going to share with them. In hopes to set them up for failure. I think there was some of that both ways in our marriage. Threatening if you can't do X, Y and Z, then I guess we're through if you can't. And honestly, to me, I don't really threaten. Mine are more or less like fall, like their, their statements, you know, when the girl I've been talking to for the last couple years says she doesn't like the fact that when I'm with my daughters, I don't contact, I don't contact her. When I say kick rocks, that's not a threat. Fucking kick rocks. Like I have no qualms. You will never replace my daughter. So if you have a problem with me not investing timing, you and I have my 8 year old, 8 year old around who you won't meet unless we're serious. Kick rocks like I'm dead ass serious. That's not a threat. But that is gaslighting. You know, the, the, the threats, the, the denial is the biggest one for me, like in the distractions. But we have about four more and we can have a part two to this frequent substance abuse. That's a big one for me because I feel like alcoholics. I've dated chicks who are alcoholics, they will quickly turn the script on you real quick. And it's, you know, it's ridiculous because you're the sober one, but there's no telling them that it's ridiculous. And honestly, that's why I stopped dating the girl that I'm seeing that I was talking to recently. I stopped dating her 25 years ago because she was an alcoholic. And I remember the night we separated, it was Christmas night. I went to her dad's house. That's where we were staying for the weekend in Lancaster. She was at her dad's house. She invited me out for the night. I got out there and she just started degrading me in front of her family. And I was like, yeah, we're done. We are done. Like, this isn't. We're. I'm so good with this shit. We're done. And I got a glimpse of that the other night. Like she was clearly drunk. You know, she let a man rub up on her. She didn't really tell him no, she didn't stop his hand. When they stopped dancing again, I told her, like, that ain't cool. I told him like, hey, you ain't never to do that again. And then out in the parking lot when she was like, yeah, I'm just bothered that you, you know, like you do you know you don't contact when you're with your daughters? And I was just like, yeah, we good. Kick rocks. She was like, maybe I will. I was like, no, you really should. Like, I'm. There's no qualms about it. You will never come before my daughters. So if that's what you're expecting, just be disappointed now because it ain't gonna happen. So frequent substance abuse. And it's funny because I did tell my ex I won't go back to a pothead. And as of recent, like, she had a hysterectomy. And today she was on the phone and she was like, I'm in so much pain. Weed is the only thing that takes away my pain. But I'm trying to stop smoking weed. [02:19:33] Speaker A: And I'm like, you know how I feel? You know what I mean? [02:19:36] Speaker B: Is that, you know, is that bait? You know what I mean? Like, like, are you serious? Are you just throwing that out? Because you know what? I feel like the Lord has told me, like, we can be together. And now that I've been brutally honest with you with my job offers and you know what I can potentially bring in, Are you trying to say, like, oh, I'm trying to stop smoking weed so that we could be together because potentially we can make, you know, close to 300,000 a year together and not have separate bills or you, you know, there's just so many things that go into water, you know? You know, that's how I feel. That's how I feel about it. Yeah. So that's why I started seeing someone else today. So anger issues. [02:20:30] Speaker A: Small thing about me. Eat, small note. [02:20:39] Speaker B: Another thing is anger issues. A girl that has this is again, a girls for guys. [02:20:46] Speaker A: I'm checking off most of these red flags. [02:20:49] Speaker B: Guys with anger, dude, I have a lot of stars next to them, but they're for females. I haven't really looked at this as guys now, mind you, when I started studying this, I looked at this list as females and males. Then I realized there's a totally separate list for females and that list is somewhat different. So I don't want to get into that again until next episode. But anger issues for female to males, I think is. Is should be a red flag if you have some anger issues. And you know that's probably going to come out and how you treat strangers or family. Yeah, rightly so that should be a. [02:21:30] Speaker A: Red flag pretty well. I do not lash out at her or my. My parents or my sister. I will kick a hole in a wall really quick. But it's not directed at her. I'll scream at people at work very quickly, but not like ones I'm friends with, you know, so. [02:21:56] Speaker B: Did you know that kicking a hole in a wall in your own house is against the law? [02:22:02] Speaker A: No. [02:22:06] Speaker B: Yeah, so I did that. And your little, you know, kind of brought that up to the cops and they were like, hey, that's community. It was like community aggravation or something like that. I'm like, it's my own house. I passed a wall. Like, they shrunk my clothes. What do you. What do you like? [02:22:24] Speaker A: It is hilarious that you throw out. It was a laundry dispute. I understand. [02:22:34] Speaker B: I put my clothes on the. In the washroom and I fell asleep after work. [02:22:38] Speaker A: It's more aggravating than it sounds is what I'm saying. It sounds. It's. [02:22:43] Speaker B: Dude, it is crazy. They were brand new clothes. It was a brand new, like, I. I don't get a lot of money. [02:22:49] Speaker A: Sometimes happen to me. I'm not telling you that you're wrong. I'm telling you it sounds, dude, crazy. [02:22:56] Speaker B: Dude, I bought a brand new, like, whole set of clothing and I put them in a washer to like, to wash them for the first time. I wake up and they're like, hey, like, I needed to use the laundry, laundry. But I did you a favor. I put all your clothes in the dryer. And I'm like, no, I, like, did you put them on air fluff? Because that's how I dry my clothes. They're like, no, I put them on high heat. I'm like, oh. So I go upstairs, all my. All my shirts are like, they fit. You know what I mean? Like, they're all shrunk. All my jeans are shrunk. And I'm like, I just bought this. And like, honestly, at the same time, I got this new foster kid I got who's now going on fucking. He said teeny to two weeks. He's now on his fourth and fifth week of fucking living in my house with his family of four, freeloading, you know, I mean, not providing anything. And so I just walk out the laundry room and I kick a fucking hole in the wall. And I'm like, ah. And comes out and he's like, what's going on? I'm like, dude, I'm just. I'm just. I'm just bothered, dude. Like, my. My clothes are shrunk. It's no big deal. I let it go. Well, he reports to the court, like, yeah, I just wake up to madness and holes, being kicked in walls Holes like I didn't go through and just pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. It was just a. There's one, you know what I mean? [02:24:17] Speaker A: Like one for you. You got to the wall. [02:24:24] Speaker B: I realized at that moment I need to move out. Yeah. It doesn't tell them that. I just told him I was gonna live with them for two weeks and I'm going on seven. He just says, I just knew at that time it was too chaotic to live there. I had to move out. So the court's like, yeah, court. He told this to the court, like appointed psych court, as in courthouse. Like as in. [02:24:47] Speaker A: I heard that he gave a statement to the police. [02:24:53] Speaker B: Yeah. And to the psychologist. And they're like, dude, you're like a little nuts. And I'm like, no, imagine you don't have a lot of money. You spend some. Some money on your whole new wardrobe and these shrink it who actually did was my. My autistic foster kid now was had bedroom because him and his family want to stay there for seven, five weeks over than. Than the two they asked for. And so sleeping like on the couch and lost her room. She's. She's going in between her sister's room. Like it was chaotic, bro. It's in the mid summer Covid our heat, our air conditioner, our AC unit breaks. Like we're sleeping in cars. It was ridiculous, dude. And I buy some clothing for myself with the little money we have because I lost some weight and now instead of a size 34, I gotta now lose some weight to being a size 32 in a small. You know what I mean? I went from, you know, an extra large to a medium and a 34 now. No, no, no, no, no, no. All your clothes are now 32s and medium, you know, smalls. And so yeah, I kicked a whole. And they're like, no, that's community like aggravation. And I'm like, it's in my own house. It doesn't matter. You have more people living here than. Than just you. And they were unhappy with it. And I'm like, whatever, dude, it happened. Like, if you want to charge me, it happened. I'm not gonna lie about it. Yeah, I kicked a hole in the wall. But you know what? Go look at the hole. It's already patched. You know what I mean? Like, like, where the are you guys getting this? So. But was one of those people like. Yeah, I didn't know what to do. Oh my gosh. I came out, there was a hole in the wall and he's kicking Holes. And yeah, I just realized I got to get my family out of this chaos. And I'm like, yours, I have no respect for that kid, you know? No respect. You're gonna bleep a lot. Because I will say his name a lot, you know, like, no respect for that kid at all. He. He ended up calling me, telling me my daughter's doing drugs. I believed him that my daughter was doing drugs because I felt like he knew something I didn't know to turn around, around and tell my ex that, says, your daughter's doing drugs. And then my daughter comes over, she says, I'm sick of you telling people I'm doing drugs. I said, I never told people you're doing drugs. She's like, yeah, you told him I was doing coke. I said, called me and told me you were doing coke. I never say you were doing coke. Told me to call CPS on your mom because you're doing coke like the kids. Nuts. All right, well, rare form. You got it tonight, last two. Family and friends don't like them. Family and friends don't like them. I feel like you're not a real friend if you don't like them. I feel like you're just an acquaintance. But family, I can see family not liking them. I can see like you leave the room and family's like, what the do you see in this dude? Or this is crazy. Either or. [02:27:57] Speaker A: I'm usually like by the families I've only met. So am I her grandparents? I haven't met her brother or you know what? I met her brother for like five minutes, but we were in a driveway in masks and it was cut short. [02:28:15] Speaker B: Where, where were you? [02:28:17] Speaker A: We had to, we had to pick something up at his house and they were like both wearing masks and staying away from us. [02:28:23] Speaker B: Masks? [02:28:24] Speaker A: Yeah. [02:28:25] Speaker B: Okay. [02:28:28] Speaker A: Yeah. The only, the only family that didn't like me was the Mexican one. [02:28:35] Speaker B: Rightly so. Because you're a skinhead. Last one, last one before we can go into a part two. Mind you, this is running an hour over. [02:28:48] Speaker A: Super side. [02:28:49] Speaker B: Harmful. Yeah, harmful. I feel worse for you because you gotta get up in the morning. Harmful or toxic behavior that's very. Is a red flag. Yeah. How do you tell they got harmful or toxic behavior? Guy or girl? How do you tell? [02:29:06] Speaker A: Oh, toxic is a silly made up woman word. It, it's. It just means being a kick ass dude who takes care of business. [02:29:21] Speaker B: I'm not gonna disagree. How do you feel about harmful behavior? [02:29:26] Speaker A: Harmful in what way? Like to their psyche. [02:29:30] Speaker B: I feel, I honestly feel like a Woman I care for a lot, I was harmful to. We got drunk one night at the pool. A neighbor walked by and a lot of the males, it was a female and we all know each other as friends. And so some of the males were like, hey, where's your man? Like, y'all should come down this and that. She was like, oh, me and him are going through some hard times and this and that. And I'd walked up to the fence of the pool and I was engaging with her and I was like, oh, no shit, like you cool? Like everything good because she got a kid. And I was like, you know, I just want to make sure she wasn't being harmed. But I was talking to her and my lady at the time, who didn't understand English, started making little comments, you know, that she didn't know in English, like, oh, you're, you know, she started saying some shit and we ended up going back to my, my apartment and I started speaking some shit back to her. And I knew she was illegal and I was like, look, like you and your illegal daughters. Now, mind you, she had an 11 year old and a 5 year old, and her 11 year old picked on my daughter, who at the time was 6 or 7. She was. Her 11 year old pick on my daughter constantly. So like at the pool, if they were playing squirt guns, like her 11 year old would squirt my daughter in the face to the point where my daughter was like, can you please stop? And she would just keep doing it. So I was like, hey, let's do teams. And I would go in and just squirt the shit out of her 11 year old. Like, don't pick on my fucking daughter. You know, I mean like, I was just like, your daughter's rude to my daughter all the time. And so like, we get drunk that night and she's continuously calling me names. It started out as jokes and then it got serious. And so I just got to the point where I was like, you and your fucking illegal daughters could fucking kick rocks. Like, fucking get the fuck out of here. And she didn't know English, but she knew that. And so she knew that was the. Yeah, so that was the end of us. And honestly, I think it was a lot of my. Instead of like talking through it, like, I resorted to insults as she did. And so like, for me, that as a male looking at a male in that situation, that was harmful behavior for a male to, you know, like, I could have been to that differently, you know, I could have been very well said. Hey, look, I did, because I've expressed to her in the past, like, hey, your daughter, you know, picks on my daughter a lot. And she was like, well, I discipline her alone. Like, when you're not around. I don't want to embarrass my daughter, so I discipline her when you're not around. And I said, that don't work for me because when my daughter's rude to your daughters, I discipline my daughter right away in front of your daughters so your daughters can also learn a lesson. So the fact that you do it when my daughter's on around doesn't really show my daughter anything of your character, you know, that you actually don't agree with it. It kind of. It does the opposite almost, you know, because my daughter doesn't see you tell your daughter to stop. And so when the time came, I almost bit on the opportunity to defend my daughter in a wrong manner, you know, because my daughter wasn't present. Her kids weren't present. But like, I was honestly telling her, like, hey, like, you and your legal daughter should want to pick on my daughter. Get the out of my life. And it was. It wasn't healthy. And so if it's not healthy, I think it's harmful. And so I did learn from that incident. I will never do that again. You know, which is part of the reason why when I'm out with females in general, whether it's daughter, girlfriend, friend, my main concern is to make sure their safety is. Is at the front of my mind, but also to make sure they feel safe with me. And so therefore, I don't necessarily drink like I would with friends. Like guy friends, you know, guy friends, I get a more. Little more looser with were. With females, I want to just make sure they feel comfortable and protected. And so, like, I would agree, harmful and toxic behavior is definitely something that is not, you know, definitely a red flag. So I think next week, you know, I would definitely love to jump into female red flags. [02:34:01] Speaker A: We're gonna tear the entire gender apart. [02:34:04] Speaker B: I'm telling you, I have some. I have some that are. I've seen some. Some things that seem to be normal amongst women that to me are, as a. As a man raised by a single woman, fucking red flags all day long. And I think women justify them. I really do. Like, I've had so many female justify how they engage with their sons or how they engage while their sons are around. And I'm like, that ain't. That ain't healthy. That is not healthy. So, hey, I appreciate you, man. I Enjoy. You, Chaz. You know, from Alan to Chaz, you have one name to remove during this, so it shouldn't be much of an editing process, but, you know, you dropped. [02:34:56] Speaker A: A lot of names that you didn't realize. [02:34:59] Speaker B: No, I. I know. I realized. I. You want me to drop them right now again? Because I'll leave these in. [02:35:05] Speaker A: No, you said Julian Johnson. You said your own name. You. You said a lot of names. I'll get them. Don't worry. [02:35:12] Speaker B: I didn't say. I didn't say my own name. In fact, you listened to it. I didn't say you did. You did. [02:35:17] Speaker A: No, no, no, no. [02:35:17] Speaker B: When did I say it? [02:35:18] Speaker A: I. I'll send you the clip when I get to it. When I. When I meditate, they get. I'll send it to you. [02:35:26] Speaker B: I almost commented, but you were on. [02:35:28] Speaker A: A roll, so I just let you go. [02:35:34] Speaker B: However you can. You know, I found out the dude's name. Next time we talk about hair, which I'm growing back, as you can see. [02:35:42] Speaker A: Nice. Nice. That's the most hair I've ever seen you with. [02:35:46] Speaker B: My daughters want to see me with hair. So I did realize that With Armas does sit with a lot of extra curricular females that he shouldn't as a married man. So I'm comfortable dropping his name. I'm comfortable dropping with his name. Like, I hope these. Listen to it. I really do. I hope they stumble upon this or they catch it. Because if you remove them, I. I respect it, but if you don't, I don't give a. I don't give a. You know what I mean? So I'm gonna take it out. Yeah, sure. I'm. I assumed you would because you're still friends with them, but I love you, man. I had a good time with you tonight. We're gonna continue part two of this next week. Yeah, it won't be as long because the female list is not as long. It's not a song, bro. It's like 11. It's like 11 to 36. [02:36:45] Speaker A: We'll see about it. [02:36:46] Speaker B: It's ridiculous. We will see about that, man. [02:36:50] Speaker A: So first of all, voting self esteem. These are all major red flags. [02:37:01] Speaker B: Not being able to take a good left. I mean, like, you know, honestly. [02:37:06] Speaker A: Pseudonyms is over. Goodbye, everyone. [02:37:09] Speaker B: Talk to you next time, man. Love you. [02:37:14] Speaker A: You bitch. Dude, I'm cutting the recording. We're done. [02:37:23] Speaker B: All right, I'm out.