006: I Can Outlast Your Boner

[00:00:01] Speaker A: So, I mean, I like Douglas Wilson and everyone. [00:00:05] Speaker B: Hold on, hold on, hold on. Let's start over in three, two, one. Welcome, everybody, to this week. [00:00:11] Speaker A: No, no, you gotta do a cold open. You gotta do a cold open. And I'll. I'll be like. [00:00:16] Speaker B: All right. [00:00:17] Speaker A: I'll be like. Did it stink? Hell, yeah, it stunk. [00:00:21] Speaker B: All right, all right, we'll start over. No, it's okay. [00:00:24] Speaker A: No, you already did it. You already did it. No. [00:00:26] Speaker B: Fuck no, man. [00:00:31] Speaker A: We're doing it live. [00:00:35] Speaker B: All right? It's all yours. All yours. Kyle. [00:00:37] Speaker A: Kyle. Tonight. I didn't think of a name for you. Damn it. Well, if I'm Kyle, you've got to be Stan. [00:00:45] Speaker B: Nice. Nice. [00:00:46] Speaker A: Okay, so welcome to the Pseudonyms podcast, everybody. I wanted to ask you before we get into the topic, because we're gonna finish out the red flags tonight. [00:00:57] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:00:58] Speaker A: And now, what did we do last week? We had all of the ones from the point of the woman. [00:01:04] Speaker B: Yes. From the point of view. From the woman for men. And that episode was really long, but it was really long because the list for men is, like, two to three times longer than it is for women. Like, it is ridiculous. Like, there's maybe 11, 14 points for women. There was, like, 36 for dudes. [00:01:21] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:01:22] Speaker B: So. All right, well, we could kill them. [00:01:24] Speaker A: And rape them anytime we wanted. So it is. You know, they got to keep their heads on a swivel. So. Yeah, I. I am a big fan of Douglas Wilson. He's a pastor and a writer. Really good, right? Probably a better writer than he is, like, a local pastor or anything, but he's a pretty polarizing, like, dis. Divisive figure. At least to my Facebook friends. I've got. [00:01:53] Speaker B: Hold up, hold up, hold up. Did you say divisive? Did you mean divisive? [00:01:58] Speaker A: They're interchangeable. [00:02:01] Speaker B: Okay, okay. Well, being that the consonant is followed by another vowel, it says the name of the first one. I'm just saying. [00:02:07] Speaker A: All right, wait, wait, wait. Let me think. [00:02:10] Speaker B: So it'd be divisive, actually. [00:02:12] Speaker A: Either in the. [00:02:16] Speaker B: At the end of divisive. Yes, there is. [00:02:17] Speaker A: No, no, no, no. But not after the I. After the. The hard I. [00:02:22] Speaker B: The S. The hard I is followed by another. By another vowel. [00:02:26] Speaker A: I, V, E. Yeah, it's not. It's not the E that would give the I its. Its long I sound. No. [00:02:32] Speaker B: But it's followed by another vowel. So it's. Is that the rule? I, V, E. That's the rule. Brioso's divisive. [00:02:40] Speaker A: I thought they were interchangeable. Man, I thought I was saying. I thought I was saying, like, the Australian pronunciation or something. I thought I was being classy. [00:02:51] Speaker B: So did our listeners. [00:02:56] Speaker A: There's this one podcast I was listening to one time, and the one guy said, divisive, and the other guy was like, yeah, no, it's really divisive. And the other guy's like, yep, it sure is divisive. Shout out to Doctrine and Devotion. I wish that show was still on. [00:03:15] Speaker B: So, all right, so you're talking about. [00:03:16] Speaker A: This pastor is divisive, and I think, you know, he. He's got a lot of weird stuff that I don't really understand, and I don't understand why it gets people in such a tizzy. If you want to look into the guy, you'll find some weird rabbit holes to go down. But here he. My one Facebook friend one time said just one. All right, well, he's said a lot of negative things about Douglas Wilson over the years. [00:03:52] Speaker B: Oh, I thought you only had one Facebook friend. [00:03:54] Speaker A: Oh, no, no, no, no. My one Facebook friend. I'm up to one. [00:04:01] Speaker B: He was. His name Tom? [00:04:03] Speaker A: No, his name's Seth. He hates Douglas Wilson with a passion. And one of the things that he said that he said was that if you let your daughter play softball, she's gonna be a lesbian. And that is 20 times more offensive than anything I've actually heard this dude say. I've. I've read a couple of his books. I've listened to every episode of his podcast since it started in 2018. I've never heard this guy say anything problematic. But we got into that territory a little bit this week where I can. I could almost start to see, like, little seeds of, like, what might bother people so much about him. And I don't think. I don't think it's misogyny, but I think some people would interpret it as misogyny. So I wanted to ask you, first of all. [00:04:55] Speaker B: Well, that. That. And on top of that, you're sensitive to it because he Start. You know, because your Facebook friend. It's like when you. Your friend pulls up in a new car and you're like, I've never seen that car before. And then you see it all over the road. [00:05:06] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:05:06] Speaker B: You're just. [00:05:07] Speaker A: That's your. [00:05:08] Speaker B: Your sense. Yeah. [00:05:09] Speaker A: Yeah. And I mean, like, he's. He's definitely a little bit of a troll, and he'll say some provocative things just to get a reaction, but I never. It's never like, actually offensive. The worst thing about him, honestly, is, is just how blindly Republican he is like. He really is just like a party dude, even when it doesn't really make sense. But he said that if you have a disagreement with your wife, sometimes you should not go for the compromise, and you should just choose and use your authority as the man to basically go with the thing you want. So that's one thing. But there was a reason for it. So the example he gave was like, if you say, hey, we're going to get Mexican food, and. And she says, oh, you know, I really want Italian. Every once in a while you need to say, well, we're going to Mexican food. We can do Italian next time, you know? And it was something to that extent. But he said, the reason is that whether women know it or not, they are testing you. They are testing you as a leader in the family to see. And now I, being raised in a heavily female environment, immediately was like, fuck, yes, they are. Fuck, yes, they are. Yes. You can't trust the fucking thing these people do. The whole gender is bullshit. But yeah, basically, like. Like, whether they realize it or not, they are kind of testing your abilities to lead as a man. And every once in a while, you need to just flex the authority so that they know you're in charge. [00:06:47] Speaker B: I have a couple thoughts on this. [00:06:49] Speaker A: Yeah, I knew you well, let's do it. [00:06:53] Speaker B: First thought is. It's said in. Okay, first thing, if you're in the opposite position where you're just dating, you want to know where the girl wants to go to eat when she gets in the car, Just simply say, hey, I'm taking you to that favorite place you like. And then when she gets excited and says the name, you just say, yep. [00:07:16] Speaker A: Or you say, on the flip side, though, guess where I'm taking you? And she goes, yes, Ronaldo's. And you're like, fuck, yes, Ronaldo. [00:07:24] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, exactly. Genesis 3 talks about a struggle for woman and man, that she will want a lord over him. And so I think there is that. That, like, that thing in her that wants. That needs to kind of be a bitch, be heard, be seen. Some say that. But basically rule over or have authority over man. I mean, that's. That's the struggle. That's. That's what God cursed her with. Like, you will always have that about you. That is something that's all women. Like, there's not just like, hey, just the Karens. It's all women. And so. But on the flip side, that book I told you about, the Way of the Superior man, it has a section on this and it says, you know, you could definitely take your lady's opinion into consideration, but ultimately, you have to make the final decision. And if you just let your lady lead, it shows that you are not a good leader. And if you don't trust yourself, why should your lady trust in you as well? So I do agree to. To. To that extent over food. It's really dependable, because I could give two shits about food. You know, like, if you want to eat Thai, I'm good. I could find something at a Thai restaurant. You want to eat sushi, you want to eat Mexican, Italian, I can find something at all those restaurants, and I like them all. However, on this side of the coin, where I was, you know, my wife of 20 years didn't like mushrooms. She didn't like onions. So onions always had to be large if they were gonna be in our food so that they could pick them out. You know, it was. You know, there were times where I wanted to say, yeah, there's fucking mushrooms in the spaghetti sauce. Why? Because I like fucking mushrooms in my spaghetti sauce. You know what I mean? Like, fucking eat. You know what I mean? [00:09:29] Speaker A: I could hear Danny McBride saying that same thing. [00:09:34] Speaker B: I love Danny McBride, dude. And every time I watch his stuff, I'm like, you know why? [00:09:37] Speaker A: It tastes like mushrooms. [00:09:38] Speaker B: Kyle says I remind him of. Yeah, Kyle says I remind him of him. Eastbound and down is probably one of my favorites. I still. I still go back. [00:09:48] Speaker A: Stevie, you were driving. Okay, I was driving. Yep. You were driving. Such a piece of. [00:10:00] Speaker B: He says, man, he says, this face used to cash checks and this dick. [00:10:12] Speaker A: That's such a great show. [00:10:15] Speaker B: Anyway, so, yeah, I do agree with. To that extent. [00:10:18] Speaker A: That was your point. [00:10:19] Speaker B: Yeah, I do agree with him. Well, I mean, there were times where I wanted to just say, like, hey, we're having it my way tonight. But I didn't, you know, and, you know, there wasn't a lot of fish cooked in the house. I love fish. I eat fish almost every day here now because I can. You know what I mean? Like, I love a good salmon, a mahi mahi, or a seared ahi tuna. I Now I cook it all the time. But I didn't have that option because no one in the house liked the smell, like, the taste. It was just like, you know, and so now it's like, hey, we don't like it. Go outside. I don't care. This is my place. You know? But I wish back then I would have. I would have said, hey, we're buying fish, because I want fish. You know, we're and don't get me wrong, there were times where she cooked it for me, but it wasn't often. You know, maybe once a year, so. But back to the point in hand. Yeah. I do think that there should be that time where he says, hey, tonight we're doing this. We could have this some other time. But again, it's like, for me, it's just. And it's not even like, oh, it's not worth the fight to me. It's like, I want to enjoy the evening. I personally don't have a preference, so if you want to go somewhere special, we could go there. I don't really care. However, if I am in the mood for something, I'm gonna probably start my conversation with that. Like, damn, I'm in the mood for some Roscoe's, you know? Well, Roscoe's is fried. I don't really want it. Cool. Get their greens. I'm going for Roscoe's chicken and waffles. You know what I mean? Like, so. But if I'm not making a statement of I'm in the mood for something, I don't really care. [00:12:00] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. I'll have to listen to it again and see if I missed anything about what he was getting across. But I feel like the point of them testing. Testing men was a little deeper. There was a little more to that, but I heard it a few days ago. I just jotted down a note to ask you. [00:12:19] Speaker B: Well, I mean, it's. It does line up biblically. Biblically. I mean, like. And I don't think so much of it is as a testing. I think it is exactly what the Lord cursed women with, that you will try and rule over the man. Yeah. And, you know, and we see that when they won dollar for dollar. No, you only get 70 cents for the dollar. You know, it's like, that's not what that is. What's that? [00:12:43] Speaker A: That's not what that is. It would be hilarious if we just believed that was true and just still were on board with it. We were just like, no, no, no. I thought it was a rule that they had to get 75. [00:12:56] Speaker B: Well, I mean, don't. 75 cents makes sense to me. Because one week out of the month, you're not the same. [00:13:03] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. You're not getting more work. [00:13:06] Speaker B: If we take that. [00:13:08] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:13:08] Speaker B: If we take four weeks in the month. Yeah, it's about 75. You. You know what? Let's bump it up to 80. Yeah, let's just bump it up to 80. No, we're kidding. Guys. So with that said, they do inferior. [00:13:20] Speaker A: Work, and I'm sick of pretending they. These have had it too good for too long. [00:13:26] Speaker B: Joe Rogan has a really good argument, man like you. Joe Rogan has a great argument. You send someone in to the White House and you have female agents guarding the door. There is. There's a chance he's gonna make it past them, you know, but like, a guy even with a cold could basically take. Take him out. Now reverse the roles. There's a large female at the door of the White House and there's male guards. There's a good chance she ain't making it past that doormat, you know? [00:13:59] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. I don't really. I don't know. It's not something I've thought a lot about, so I've never had the chance to kind of, like, work out my thoughts on it. I've never. God, I don't know what I'm trying to say. Basically, I'm. I'm like, I hate women, but I'm not like, you know, a patriarchal, like, I'm gonna boss this bitch around and, like, tell her what's what, you know, kind of guy. I've just never, like, I'm just way too go with the flow for everyone. It's like, I'm not going to tell my cube mate at work, you know, how to do anything, you know, Like, I'm. I just don't want to infringe on. On people's way of being. So said. [00:14:46] Speaker B: You get on a podcast and you're like this motherfucker. [00:14:49] Speaker A: Exactly. I let it out. [00:14:51] Speaker B: Won't even make me coffee in the morning. She's a barista. [00:14:54] Speaker A: You are the one who brought up the coffee every single time. I never once complained about that. You found out that she didn't make me coffee, and then you brought it up like it bothered. You're gaslighting me and I don't. But, you know, and I probably even said that more beta than I even. Than would even be, like, true of me, because I'm certainly not like, I don't let my wife lead the house, you know, but here's the thing. [00:15:26] Speaker B: There's definitely roles. [00:15:27] Speaker A: There's roles, sure. [00:15:28] Speaker B: If you fulfill your role, you know, like, my sister is the breadwinner in her house, and her husband has not worked since they've been married. And you go in his house, it's like a freaking arcade. I mean, like, he's got arcade systems, he's got pinball, he's got every console there is. I Mean, the boy stays busy playing some games. Sounds like it's living life. I personally couldn't do that. You know what? I probably could. I don't have the luxury of doing that. However, he takes care of the kids, he takes care of dinner. He knows his. He knows the roles, and as long as you guys are both comfortable, that. That's. That's great. But, yeah, I wouldn't be able to do that. Here's the thing, dude. I don't let females drive. If I'm in the car and we're a couple, I'm driving. I'm sorry, I'm Dutch. Like, that's just how it is. I'm not that dude. [00:16:19] Speaker A: I've never been challenged on that. I think that's really the thing. Like, my wife doesn't work. I'm driving the car. She'll make what I want for dinner. I mean, like, she just makes that pretty easy on me and doesn't really, like, challenge me a lot in those areas. But, like, I don't know. I've always kind of thought of, like, men and women as, like, there's a very specific word that is used in these conversations. [00:16:50] Speaker B: Different. [00:16:51] Speaker A: No, not different. Not complementarian. It's. It's something like authority. Damn it. If I knew that word, it would really be. Oh, submission. That's the word. [00:17:03] Speaker B: Gonna say that, too. [00:17:04] Speaker A: It's like, obviously, yeah, we know the roles there. Like, the woman submits and stuff. But, like, I don't. I don't think it's like, never, you know, the place for the man to. Occasionally. I mean, like, what if the man is literally wrong? You know, One time. Great example. One time, my church, my old church here in Oklahoma, there was a situation. It was kind of an awkward situation. Very public, like, heavily gossiped affair happened in the church. And they gathered, like, all the young married couples together at the pastor's house to give, like, this breakout session on marriage because he thought, like, we're going to take this opportunity to, like, reinforce truths about marriage. Kind of a good idea on paper. But it basically just became, like, a long discussion about women submitting to men and, like, this. This kind of McCarthy and, you know, kind of conversation. And the example he gave, which I. I even told him there on the spot, it was a terrible example, was, what if you leave the kids with the husband for the night and you go out to do something and you come home and the kids are up an hour past their bedtime. He didn't feed them dinner. He gave them a ton of ice cream and they're up watching a violent movie, and it's like, that's what we do, so. Right, sure, whatever. But, like. But, like, in that moment, you're just gonna submit to what your husband did, and then, like, you can talk about it in private after, you know, the kid goes to bed and yada, yada. I was just, like, weak argument. Because he did so many things wrong. I mean, like. Like, yeah, you shouldn't, like, call your husband out in front of your kids. I totally agree with that. But, like, he's, like, borderline sinning in this situation. And, like, you know, there's no room for that conversation, you know? So I. I just feel like in a situation where, like, the man is wrong, like, there's ways that people submit. [00:19:12] Speaker B: That's. That's a great example of a. Of a man being wrong. However, a man is not used to that role in that scenario. In that scenario. And so, because I've been that dude, where she comes home, the kids are still up. I'm like, holy crap. Like, I put down my game controller, you know, and I'm like, let me put some. Let me put some Tostitos in the oven. [00:19:31] Speaker A: And she's like, let me put out this crack. [00:19:35] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, like. And it wasn't intentional. It was just like, I wasn't thinking because that stuff was usually taken care of. It wasn't ever a task I really had. However, I think there's a lot of room there to. To focus on the man's role. What are your thoughts on Grudem's biblical roles of females and males? [00:20:00] Speaker A: I mean, generally I'm a complementarian, but I think it goes a little far when it's almost like we're never having the right conversation. It's like, Grudem will say that it's Grudem. [00:20:16] Speaker B: And Piper, by the way. [00:20:17] Speaker A: Yeah, the. What was it? Those biblical statement on biblical man and womanhood. What was that? But I have the book. I've never. I've never read the whole thing, but, I mean, they'll go as far as, say, like, women can't be police officers. And I'm over here saying, like, we just shouldn't have police officers. So I don't really know, like, where my place in this whole thing is. [00:20:39] Speaker B: I mean, that is. That's a good. That's a good view, though. I mean, I've seen. I've seen males, but I've seen a lot more females get their ass handed to them by some big dude, like, by just some dude, you know, like, because she's small. And where's the line between, where's the line crossed of liability? You know what I mean? Like if she comes in, she's 411, she weighs a, maybe a buck and she's like, I want to be a cop. She passed all the tests. She does all this stuff right? Scores high on everything. Do we say no or do we let her be a cop? And then what happens when five cops are showing up to one spot because she just got her ass handed to her? [00:21:20] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:21:20] Speaker B: I mean, where do we draw the line of your liability more than anything else? Sure. [00:21:24] Speaker A: And that was an especially bad example on my part because of exactly what I said. I don't give a fuck about cops. So like, yeah, I don't, I don't think women should be cops either. Sure, I'll throw that at the wall. But unless they're like one of those cool cops that's banging the whole station and then they become a Me. [00:21:42] Speaker B: No, no, no, no. [00:21:45] Speaker A: You remember that. [00:21:47] Speaker B: So how do you. I do. How do you, how do you think we should be governed? So like, curious on your view on cops? [00:21:52] Speaker A: Private police. [00:21:56] Speaker B: Simple for the towns and cities. [00:21:59] Speaker A: I mean, if Walmart wants police around the square blocks surrounding Walmart, they can do that too. Cities are not a bad idea. I think the bigger structure that ends up paying for them, the more likely you're gonna end up with the same situation of like, they're not really, I think, cops. They are this like it is an invading army that is there to rule over us. And I think that's when you get into trouble with police because now they're pulling you over because you don't have a magic sticker on your license plate. [00:22:33] Speaker B: I think cops are, I think cops are uneducated. I think, I think cops should have to go to a higher degree of schooling to be a cop. And I say that because, I mean they have so much authority and so much power that I think they, the, the schooling requirement for them is not a lot. It's a police academy to make sure they can physically do the test and they know some codes. They. I'm seeing a lot of tick tocks that like cops don't even know the. [00:23:11] Speaker A: Laws, you know, and their job is to break them. [00:23:15] Speaker B: People go around and, and I think there should be a higher calling. If you're going to be a cop, you can't break the law, you know, you just can't. Like you lose your job right away and you're a civilian. I think that's, that's Just my thought. But. [00:23:29] Speaker A: Yeah, but I mean, like, they. You said it. They've got an immense amount of power, and it's like, I. I don't see a lot of downsides to taking that power away. [00:23:41] Speaker B: No, there's not. But there's not a lot of oversight, too, I think. I think we're limited on the oversight. [00:23:46] Speaker A: Sure. [00:23:47] Speaker B: You know, because. Honestly. [00:23:49] Speaker A: But why do they need oversight? [00:23:52] Speaker B: Why? [00:23:52] Speaker A: When a cop whose salary I pay pulls me over, why does he need oversight in that situation? [00:23:59] Speaker B: Because they're all. Everybody. Everybody's human. I'm sure there's. [00:24:01] Speaker A: It's because. It's because he doesn't actually work for me. He's an authority over. [00:24:06] Speaker B: He doesn't. But. [00:24:07] Speaker A: But that's the fable. That's the constitutional fable that we live under is that, like, we pay these police and their servants and they work for us. That's the whole idea. [00:24:16] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. [00:24:17] Speaker A: Exactly. But your reaction to that is everything. Yeah, of course. We all know that's hard. [00:24:24] Speaker B: Let's take that to the office space. You wouldn't need a manager if there wasn't. You. If there wasn't a. In your company, a bunch of. In your company, there would be no need for a manager. [00:24:33] Speaker A: Exactly. [00:24:34] Speaker B: However. [00:24:35] Speaker A: So the cops are managers. That's not. That's not in the whole, like, American, you know, nursery tale that we're told. They're not the managers, they're servants, you know, and it's like, yes, they. They are in charge of us. They are our masters. When. When they turn on those lights. How often you watch over. Huh? [00:24:55] Speaker B: How often do you watch Cops? [00:24:57] Speaker A: Not in a long time. [00:24:59] Speaker B: Okay. I watch it religiously. [00:25:02] Speaker A: You are so garbage. I'm pretty sure. [00:25:06] Speaker B: I'm pretty sure every once you get. [00:25:09] Speaker A: To learn about how to get away from Cops. [00:25:13] Speaker B: Every scene that comes on, like, when they're. When they're opening scene, comes on to Cops and like, what you want? What you gonna do? Yeah. When all that plays, I'm like, oh, I remember that episode. That's how it turns out. I remember that there are times where I've turned off because I've already seen so many episodes. So with that being said, cops are. So. They abuse their authority and, you know, perfect example. Cop rolls up to a car. He says, let me see your license, registration. I pulled over because I couldn't see your. Your tags. And then he goes. He goes back to his car, and he's talking to the camera. He's like, yeah, I smell weed. So he goes up. He's like, hey, like, Guys get out, like, you know, can you get out of the car, please? And you know, he's like, I smell weed, this and that, you know, with the right to search the car. The lady gets out the car, the passenger, and she's like, no, no, no, no, we don't, we don't even smoke weed. We don't even smoke weed. They were meth addicts. They didn't find an ounce of weed in the car. They found a bunch of crack and a bunch of meth, but they didn't find any weed in the car. And so I'm looking at it like, I don't know, how did we get away with that? Like, I bet if Cops was like, if somebody watched Cops, they'd be like, no, we can't air this episode now. We can't hear this one. Like, honestly. Because they were getting, they, they do abuse their power. I'm not going to lie. There are some out there that abuse power. But I've also seen ones that are very cool. And I think with the video recording systems that we have today, cops are more and more. They're, they're. It's a hard word. It's, it's hard to say that. I feel like they're being more refined, if you will. But then there are the cops that are. I don't know if you saw that video of the girl that was like, you know, she's a cop. She's sitting in her full up gear and she's like, hey, like, if I'm behind you, you're in the fast lane. Get out the way. If you don't get out the way, I'm pretty sure I could find a, I could find something to pull you over. Why? Because I'm going 90 and you can't go that fast. If you go that fast, we're going to pull you over. However, if you're not going that fast, you don't get out of my way, I will find a reason to pull you over. She got fired, but like she went on Tik Tok just airing it out. [00:27:21] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, yeah, it's like, it's like I should say I've been pulled over six times in my life. Zero tickets. They always let me go. So, like, I've had very positive experiences with, with the police. I'm friends with a lot of cops. But I mean, just in the example from Cops you just gave, it's like, okay, so I gotta put a sticker on my car that I already own. I gotta pay for the thing. I own every Year. It's like, you're just the hall monitor dipshit who pulls me over. Cause I didn't pay the magic fine. You know what I mean? [00:27:59] Speaker B: And perfect example. Perfect example. We have peers at our school that are fucking hall monitors. [00:28:05] Speaker A: You have what at your school? [00:28:07] Speaker B: We have peers at our school, as you went to school, that are fucking wall monitors. [00:28:12] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. [00:28:13] Speaker B: So it's a perfect example. You're like, hey, dude, I just want to go to the bathroom. Where's your. Where's your card? Where's your pass? Where's your pass? You're like, come on, dude. You fucking nerd. Yeah, so anyway, are you into Star Wars? [00:28:27] Speaker A: Yeah, kind of. I. I've fallen off with the more recent stuff, but. [00:28:31] Speaker B: Okay, I. I haven't seen any of them, but we had a trivia night here at my place. [00:28:35] Speaker A: You haven't seen any star. [00:28:37] Speaker B: Any of them? [00:28:37] Speaker A: Holy. [00:28:38] Speaker B: No. [00:28:38] Speaker A: I know what we're doing this week. [00:28:42] Speaker B: So we had a trivia night at our clubhouse, and they had a Star wars question, and somebody answered it. And so, like, you know, I'm sitting in the back and, like, they're like, oh, it's so and so. And I was like, nerd. But that's just like, anytime I see Star Wars, I'm like, nerd. I just like, you're such a nerd. All right, so we got way off track of red flags for tonight. [00:29:05] Speaker A: Okay. But. But I'll. I'll wrap it up with. With where complementarianism goes kind of too far. That pastor I was just talking about who gathered everyone at his house, he refused to let his kids go to Sunday school if it was led by a woman. [00:29:21] Speaker B: Okay, I disagree with that. [00:29:22] Speaker A: Yeah. It's like. I mean, that's just going too far. I get where you're coming from with it. It's just. It's too much. [00:29:27] Speaker B: Yes. The authority over men is not biblical. It's not from Genesis 3 to Timothy. It's just not like there's so many. There are certain instances in the Bible they say, hey, look, like, this is. This is. And there's. There's a reason for. There's a dichotomy that's set up in God's kingdom, in God's ways. And so I agree with that. Now, when women are like, oh, so you don't think women should be pastors? I'm not saying women can't be pastors. I'm saying women can't be the lead pastor. They could be the pastor over the women. They could be the pastor over the children, they cannot be the lead pastor of the church because we see instances in the Bible where women were pastors. In the Bible, in the Book of Acts, there's women pastors led churches. They led churches until they raised up a young man to lead the church. And they only led the churches because they were the only believer at the time in that area equipped to lead the church. So it wasn't something that she continued in. It was something that she raised up somebody to take over. Yeah. So I just don't get. And I don't get the hiccup. I don't. I really don't like. [00:30:34] Speaker A: Well, I think it's because of it. I think Paul says that I don't permit a woman to teach, but I think that's very clearly in the context of, like, adult church, you know, so to, like, extrapolate out that, like, you can't teach the Bible to a kid. Well, it's like, is your wife gonna teach the Bible to your kid? Are you gonna be that time also? You know, I mean, in Paul's times. [00:30:56] Speaker B: Like, there weren't separation of kids. There wasn't like a kids go to the kids service. Everybody was in the group together. And honestly, for a woman to. Because I've heard women make a stink about it, and I'm like, why. Why do you. Why. Why do you need. Why do you need that? That's almost the fact that you're arguing that you need. That is anti biblical. Yeah, like, if I argued that I needed it, it's anti biblical. Even as a male, you know, like, oh, you know, I need. You know, I should be the pastor. No, no, no, no. God will raise you up if you're to be the pastor. God will do his work. You know, for you to fight for it is just ridiculous to me. All right, so let's. Let's get into the red flags for women. This. This short, short and beautiful list. What do you. I don't know. How do you want to address this? You just want to go through the red flags and say you can relate and then add on to ones that maybe we didn't hear, because I got a couple. Did I tell you about the women that are sexually positive with their kids? [00:31:58] Speaker A: No. [00:32:01] Speaker B: Like, okay, well, I'll get there. And you can stop me if I already went there. [00:32:04] Speaker A: Let's. Let's go. We might have stories. We'll definitely have jokes. [00:32:09] Speaker B: Yeah. Different lifestyles is a red flag, which was for men as well. Different lifestyles. You know, it's hard to be with a Fit woman when you're fat. [00:32:21] Speaker A: Yeah, but the reverse is fine. The reverse is fine. You don't like being the more fit one. You don't like being the one that's doing the favor. [00:32:38] Speaker B: I. I do. I do. I do. But I never am. I rarely am. I rarely am, but I. Yeah, I mean, but the lifestyle has to match up, dude. I mean, like, if you have. If you're very active, you like to go play tennis or basketball or pickleball, whatever the hell, maybe you're just a gym rat and your partner, whether female or male, doesn't really care to do that. Let's just say video games, you're a gamer and she's not. I mean, it's totally opposite. If you're a gamer and she's a gym rat, or she's a gamer and you're a gym rat, there's going to be. There's going to be that whole, like, hey, why do you play games so much? I mean, there's. I think there comes a resentment at some point. [00:33:23] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah, for sure. My problem is that I am kind of a big hobby guy in a lot of ways, and I'm always getting into new shit. So as my wife is never going to be like 100% into everything I'm doing, you know? [00:33:45] Speaker B: Yeah, but are you a hobby guy that sticks with the shit, or are you a hobby guy that's like, hey, this week it's a new thing, and last week's thing, I'm no longer into. [00:33:52] Speaker A: It's both. It's both. When. When we met, I was writing. I can't say there's a lot else, really, still similar. I mean, I was already a musician, obviously, but I wasn't, like, actively doing anything musical. I'm doing a lot more musically now. I didn't have the podcast yet, so anything podcast related is kind of new, you know, so there's just, you know. [00:34:21] Speaker B: But I feel a lot of that is in house, where you're still in the presence of each other. Like, for me, I'm not a big gamer. I like playing video games. But, like, I've been with women that like to play Grand Theft Auto. That's only one player game, and I'm cool with watching it. I'm cool with watching her game and just chilling next to her. [00:34:44] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Like, my wife doesn't have a lot of hobbies or interests like that. I think that's actually kind of rare for women. Like, there. There were a whole bunch of memes maybe a year ago that were, like, making fun of women for not having hobbies. And there was, like. The joke was, like, women will get together and, like, just talk. Or, like, if you ask a woman, like, what she does for fun, it's like she watches a Netflix show and she, like, gets together with her friends and talks. But, like, if you ask a dude, it's like, well, I play golf. Or, like, I do this thing. Like, I do an activity. You know what I mean? [00:35:27] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:35:27] Speaker A: And. [00:35:28] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:35:29] Speaker A: Yeah. So I haven't really experienced that, at least not with my wife, of, like, her being into something and me not, you know. [00:35:42] Speaker B: Don'T hate me for this. Doesn't sound like your wife's into much. [00:35:45] Speaker A: No, no. Yeah. I mean, pretty much the only thing she does for fun is watch tv. And I'm not, Like, I wouldn't choose to watch as much tv, but I'll sit and watch TV with her. [00:35:59] Speaker B: Do you ever find yourself doing something in the same room while she's watching tv? [00:36:03] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like, right now we're watching the show I want to watch. If she's watching Twin Peaks, we're finally on the last season that they did on Showtime a few years ago. So I've been into that. But, like, she'll rewatch the same show a million times. So she'll, like, rewatch Pretty Little Iris for, like, the third time this year, and she's not expecting me to get in on that. So I'll sit with her and I'll read a book while she watches that. Or I'll play on my phone or I'll read. [00:36:38] Speaker B: Is that hard? Is. [00:36:39] Speaker A: No. [00:36:40] Speaker B: Is that hard for you to read while she watches? [00:36:41] Speaker A: No, I'm used to it. Yeah. I developed that skill at barber school because everyone was sitting around talking all day, so I had to learn to tune it out and read. And so now people can talk in the room. It's not a skill I always had. It used to be hard because of my adhd, but I think I'm. Yeah. Better at it now. [00:37:06] Speaker B: All right. What about different values? [00:37:10] Speaker A: Yeah. You ready for a story? [00:37:13] Speaker B: Yeah. Always. [00:37:15] Speaker A: I came, so I've never been afraid of this because my daughter's so young and she's. She's just over 13 months. So it's, like, getting to the point where I gotta start worrying about this now. I came home and my wife and her were both sitting on the couch, like, side by side, which, like, even that is kind of new, that the baby will just sit there and not, like, fall and, you know, run around. They Were sitting watching a drag queen youtuber do their makeup. It was just a makeup thing. [00:37:53] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I've seen them. Yeah. [00:37:55] Speaker A: Trixie Mattel, my wife, is a huge fan. And it's like, yep, here we go. We're. We're getting to the point where this is going to be an issue now. Like, because I gotta. I gotta be loud about how. How fucking not cool that. [00:38:13] Speaker B: Look, if you want to watch them, I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna do anything. Do not let our kid watch. [00:38:18] Speaker A: Kind of. Yeah, it's like, I'm. I don't give a shit what you watch. You know what freaked me out? We went to the neighbor's house for their son's birthday party last weekend, and she said, oh, yeah, I just rewatched all the Twilight movies. And I was like, you did? Like, when she's like, while you were at work. And I was like, you watched a whole series of movies and I never heard about it. Like, who are you? Fuck. Like, you. Clearly you have enough time to be having affairs. Like. [00:38:50] Speaker B: So I think. I think. I think. I think values are big for me. I think different values are huge, especially now, because if they have kids, their kids influence my kid with certain things they do and watch. But if they. Let's say they don't have kids, and I. Let's say I don't have kids because, you know, but again, a majority of the people that are dating now have kids, you know, but if you're young and you're dating, I think values would definitely be a red flag. Different values. Even more so as a married man dating married man, as a divorced father with kids, that's what makes me a father. And dating other women, possibly with kids, I think values are huge because, you know, like, I like to go to church, but if she doesn't, I don't care that you don't. But if, you know, like, again, I dated a woman who was a liberal Muslim who was very vocal about her, you know, Jesus being a good teacher and about how only Christians vote for Trump. And. And it was just like, whoa, dude. Like, everything had to be religious with her. And I was just like, I can't do this. And so, yeah, I think values are off. What about always a victim? Ooh, that's a big one. That's a big flag for me. [00:40:13] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, that's. Yeah, that's not doable. [00:40:18] Speaker B: Like, if. [00:40:18] Speaker A: And you can. You can. [00:40:19] Speaker B: If I have to call SVU every time, like, you know what I mean? Like, there's an issue here somewhere. All right. [00:40:26] Speaker A: I didn't know she was sleeping. What? [00:40:31] Speaker B: You're totally in the wrong. Tell my ex that. Yeah, I always tell my ex. I, like, call svu. Here we go. [00:40:38] Speaker A: Yeah, no, that. And that's something. If it's real bad, you can recognize it immediately. I. You know, people get. I don't know if it's just me or just the jobs that I've had, but as a barber, as a Lyft driver, and now as tech support, people just unload some shit in a short amount of time. As a Lyft driver, I had this dude confess to me that he was cheating on his wife with men. I think he was. I think he was testing the waters on me a little bit. [00:41:17] Speaker B: Oh, I got one. I got one for you on that. [00:41:19] Speaker A: Okay. What was that? [00:41:22] Speaker B: Go ahead, go ahead. [00:41:23] Speaker A: Okay. Well, as tech support, what I'll often get is like, oh, yeah, sorry. No, I just don't know anything about technology. I'm just stupid. That's what my kids say. You know, I'll get something like that nowhere. And it's like, holy shit, I've been on the phone to you for 30 seconds. There's no possible way I could live in the same house with you. [00:41:44] Speaker B: Sheila, is the system plugged in? Oh, you know what? It's not. [00:41:50] Speaker A: Dude, have you ever seen that Family Guy where he's on the phone to his girlfriend trying to explain the DVD player? [00:41:56] Speaker B: No, I haven't. [00:41:57] Speaker A: It's like. Okay, okay, yeah, put it right side up. Okay. Yeah. So you should be able to see the words Mr. 3000 on the disc on the top of the desk. Okay. Is it plugged in? Okay, so plug it in. [00:42:11] Speaker B: So I was hitchhiking one night. This is when we had the kids. It was a Christmas season, you know, we used to go look at Christmas lights on weekends. So I drive all the way out into, like, I don't know, Pasadena. And, like, I heard about this great Christmas display for blocks. Nothing. We drive out there. Nothing. Now, mind you, my number three is a baby. Number two is only a year older than her. And we have all these kids, you know, the four foster kids. And some of them would get car sick sickness. And so, like, we'd have to pull over. And so, like, long rides weren't good for us. And so my ex is just pissed off. She's just like, you know, like, you know, and nothing's going right. So I get off. I exit. I exit the 57 Freeway in California. Exit Katella. I walk to the next on Ramp off the freeway. I get off, you know, exit. I get off the freeway, I pull over. [00:43:09] Speaker A: It's not a good area. [00:43:10] Speaker B: It's not. But dude, I mean, I've walked as, as a, like a 15 year old. I walked through downtown Santa Ana, had everybody hit me up just because, like, if I don't want to be in the car with you, I'm not gonna be in the car with you. And so. And it was like 2 in the morning when I did that at 15. And so I'm walking and some guy picks me up. I get on the, I'm standing at the bottom of the on ramp. Some guy picks me, me up. [00:43:34] Speaker A: You know why I'm so excited? I forgot why you were telling the story until just now. [00:43:39] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. So the guy goes, where are you going? So I'm going towards Irvine. I'm going to, you know, Foothill Ranch. And he goes, well, I'm going to the Irvine Spectrum. I'm like, perfect. I. I'll take it. You know, like, that gets me. That gets me closer to home. I'll take it. And so he starts driving. He goes, I pick up my girlfriend in, in like orange. I'm like, all right, cool, whatever. So he gets on the phone with her and he's talking to her and he goes, hey, dude, I'm so sorry, but you know, she doesn't, she wants to go to the block of orange. I'm like, that's, that's further away. I can't do that, dude. Like, you can just let me out here. And he's like, well, if, you know, like, I could order you like a taxi or something. This is taxi time. It's not Uber time. And I'm like, no, I'm good. He goes, okay. Hey, sorry, bro. I'm like, no, don't worry about it. So I start walking. I grabbed, grab like a, grab my phone. I'm looking for directions. I'm like, cool, this is a straight line. I go over a couple streets, just straight line, at least to like Lake Forest area. Then I can head up north. And so I'm on it. And some Hispanic dude picks me up. I'm hitchhiking the whole time. As long as I don't see cops, my thumb's out. And so the suspended dude picks me up. He goes, hey, man, where you going? I said, oh, I'm trying to, you know, get home. And he's like, oh, get in. I'm like, cool, thanks. Thanks, dude, so much, you know, and now we're in Anaheim and we're driving. And he goes. So we start talking and he. He puts his hand on my leg and he goes, yeah. He goes, oh, wow, your legs are really strong. And I'm like, oh, thanks. Now mind you, he's. He's way Hispanic, you know, he's illegal. And I'm just like, okay. In my mind, I'm like, maybe this is like cultural for them. Like, this is, you know, so I'm just kind of like, cool. Whatever. [00:45:24] Speaker A: I wanted that ride so bad. [00:45:26] Speaker B: Oh, dude, I was so you're like. [00:45:28] Speaker A: No, you know what? This is probably just like a touchy feely Mexican thing. I mean. [00:45:33] Speaker B: Yeah. I'm like, I don't know, dude. [00:45:35] Speaker A: So then I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure. Like at Kisanera's they bang each other's shitters out. I'm pretty sure. [00:45:45] Speaker B: Really? I can't wait to go to one. And so, so we get like, we get to his house and he goes, I gotta. I gotta drop you off here. This is as far as I could go. And I'm like, okay, cool. And he goes, it was really nice meeting you. I wish we could have more time together. And I'm like, oh, oh, yeah, I gotta go. And so he gives me the limp fish, you know, I mean, like the handshake of the lip where it's just like fingers and. And I'm like, oh, my gosh, dude. I got out the car, I end up walking to Irvine. I get, you know, cops kind of talk to me for a little bit. After the cops talk to me, tow truck guy sees me, gives me a ride home. I get home, it's two in the morning. I come walking in the front door. Mind you, I got out the car at like 9:00. Now, 2 in the morning. Been walking a lot. My feet hurt. I'm wearing Converse, by the way, so, you know, my feet are aching. I sit on the couch to turn on TV and I'm like, dude, like, this night, crazy. The ex comes downstairs, she goes, oh, did you. Did the bars finally close? [00:46:48] Speaker A: Oh, because it's two. [00:46:50] Speaker B: Yeah. I'm like, perfect. You dropped. I got out the car in Anaheim. [00:46:55] Speaker A: Like, and I'm here now. What do you think happened? [00:47:00] Speaker B: Yeah, I went to a bar. And then what? You know, like, come on. So, yeah, okay, so back to the story. [00:47:09] Speaker A: If that Mexican dude had raped you, the worst part of that night was the Converse. [00:47:15] Speaker B: I don't. I don't think so. This is what my mom always told me. You can't rape the willing. [00:47:25] Speaker A: I'll tell you. You were so deadpan on that, I literally thought you were gonna say what I believe, which is no one could rape me. I don't believe it. I don't believe you could get the drop on me. It would have to be ten dudes holding me down on every square inch of my body to get me to submit to that. I'm. If I can wiggle a little bit. You're not getting your dick in there. I don't believe it. Like, what is happening in prison? [00:47:56] Speaker B: I think I just need a couple ropes for you, bro. [00:48:03] Speaker A: If I can. [00:48:04] Speaker B: You got a pretty smile. [00:48:06] Speaker A: If I can move the middle part of my body, you cannot get your dick in me. If I can wiggle that, I don't want to entertain. I. I can outlast your boner, I guarantee you. [00:48:20] Speaker B: Hear me out. Hear me out, though. Some of the drive is in the hunt, okay? It's in the catch. All right? So the more I might not outlast. And if you ever find yourself in that situation, I'll tell you another thing my mom used to say, and she used to tell my girlfriends this all the time. She said, push, like you're about to. Then relax. It goes right in. [00:48:46] Speaker A: Oh, God. It's sucks it in like a big mouse. A big mouth bass. [00:48:54] Speaker B: All right, so always the victim shares others deep secrets. Now this one's. This one's tricky because to me that you're my partner. Like, I expect you to share everything with me. Like, if you're sharing deep secrets with me, it's because you trust me. Like I'm your. I'm your vault. So this to me is kind of risque because, like, I don't really judge you if you're sharing all the deep secrets of me, because I feel like I'm your special one. [00:49:26] Speaker A: I think there's kind of a spirit to it. If for sure he gets off the phone with Candace and immediately is like, you're not going to fucking believe what Candace is into. Like, that's problematic. Maybe gossiping. [00:49:41] Speaker B: I'm our special one, dude. She's like, I gotta tell somebody. I could. I know I could trust you. You know what I mean? I know I could trust you. [00:49:49] Speaker A: Yeah. See, and that's the thing. It's like, yeah, you're never gonna assume that she's doing the same thing to you because you're her husband, I'm her partner. [00:49:57] Speaker B: At this time, we're just dating. These are red flags. If we're married, I ignored all red flags. But if. If I'm Her. If I'm her boyfriend and she's telling me something, I'm like, oh, cool one. I probably don't know who Candace is. Maybe I met her once or twice, but I don't really know who Candace is. [00:50:13] Speaker A: Same. Yeah, but same thing. Like, if you're her boyfriend, you're not gonna think that she's doing that same thing to you. [00:50:19] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:50:19] Speaker A: But that's. That's kind of where the red flag would be for me. I don't know. I probably. I probably wouldn't think that deeply about it. I probably would never think, oh, because she told me everyone's secrets, that she's out telling my secrets. But I think if. If I analyzed it, that's a legitimate fear. [00:50:40] Speaker B: I had a girlfriend once. She lives in Boston, so maybe she's my only person I shared this podcast with. But she used to tell her girlfriends I was horrible in bed. And I was like, why do you tell them that? And she goes, cause I never want them to hook up with you. And if I tell them you're horrible. [00:51:01] Speaker A: In bed, in the. Well, yeah, I'm burning the crops. I'm salting the. [00:51:06] Speaker B: I was like, that's genius. Now, mind you, I dated a Hispanic chick recently, and she told all her friends I was like, a porn star. She's like, this guy's like a porn star. Like, I feel like we're just doing some freaky stuff. And I was like, don't ever tell them that. She's like, why? I was like, just tell him I'm really crappy in bed. I was like, I don't need the publicity. [00:51:31] Speaker A: You know, you should just. You should just introduce your girl and be like, her is giant and dry like the Grand Canyon, my friend. It's just nothing to it. [00:51:42] Speaker B: What do you know about pastrami sandwiches? [00:51:47] Speaker A: That wouldn't be enough. [00:51:49] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh. Hey, dude. Oh, pastrami sandwiches are not good, bro. They're just not. Because. [00:51:59] Speaker A: Are we talking actual food? [00:52:01] Speaker B: Hear me out. However wet. However. What the center of the bread is, the pastrami that's hanging out is not wet, and it hurts quite a bit. [00:52:13] Speaker A: Really? [00:52:14] Speaker B: Mm hmm. [00:52:15] Speaker A: Did not know that. [00:52:17] Speaker B: Yeah, I took one for the team on that one. Okay, so what about lies? Lies are big for me. Lies are big for me. [00:52:27] Speaker A: Yeah, that's. There's no getting around that. It's not like the last one where there was kind of like a gray area. [00:52:35] Speaker B: Yeah. I dated a chick once who, in our opening conversations, she said she. She's been working for this company. Yeah. I started a new job a little while ago. I've been working for them for about five weeks. And I'm like, oh, cool. How do you like it? We talked a little bit, yada, yada yada, Fast forward about a week later. And she goes, yeah, I just don't know, you know, like, I've only. Mind you, I've only been working for him for like two weeks. And, you know, I just don't know if I like it here. And I'm like, whoa, whoa, hold up. Like, you know, you told me five weeks. Like last time we talked, I thought you've been working there for five weeks. And she's like, well, no, like, I accepted the job five weeks ago. But I, you know, I told them I had vacation, vacation I was taking. I couldn't start for like a couple weeks. So like, I just, you know, like, that's. And I was, dude, it just never left me. It never left me, dude. And to the point where, like, I brought it up to her brother, who talks to her frequently. I learned through this. And then she wanted to address it in our next conversation. That's how I knew they talked. She was like, hey, so I know you told, you know, so and so that you know this and that. I just kind of wanted to explain that. And I'm like, this motherfucker's not safe when I talk about his sister. [00:53:46] Speaker A: No. [00:53:47] Speaker B: So, all right, so what about move Moves too fast? I mean, isn't that the point? I mean, this is. You probably never experienced that except for maybe with. [00:54:06] Speaker A: I mean, what's fast? [00:54:08] Speaker B: I mean, we're doing it the first night we go out. [00:54:11] Speaker A: No, turn off. [00:54:13] Speaker B: Turn. [00:54:14] Speaker A: I mean, it wasn't long, right? [00:54:17] Speaker B: Okay, outside of your, your, your, your sexual duration, is that a turn on or turn off? [00:54:28] Speaker A: Both. [00:54:31] Speaker B: Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I'm kind of in the same boat. Like, yeah, that's what I went for. But at the same time, I'm like. At the same time I'm like, am I like, how many, how many first time dates have you been on in the last month? You know, literally. [00:54:46] Speaker A: Yeah, we're getting to the bottom of why it sucks so much to be a woman. Because literally it is. Like, that's exactly what we wanted. And now. You whore. I mean, what the are you doing? You need to call your dad. Holy. It was our second date. [00:55:04] Speaker B: All right, what about doesn't reciprocate your effort? Ooh. [00:55:10] Speaker A: Be more specific. [00:55:11] Speaker B: Okay, I'll give you an example. Because this, this bothers the hell out of me. If I'm texting you and I say, hey, I hope you have a great day. You know, like, just want to say good morning, and we're clearly in a relationship, and it takes you anywhere from six hours to a day to respond. I'm very much like a kick rocks. If it's a couple hours, I get it. [00:55:37] Speaker A: You might have been caught up. I remember now you said, you're right. [00:55:42] Speaker B: If it takes you a couple days to respond, I get. I mean, a couple hours is nuts. I didn't mean days. A couple hours to respond. I get it. You might have been caught up in some stuff, but when it takes you a whole work day to respond eight hours to the next day, for me, I'm like, I know you've looked at your phone multiple times within the last eight hours, and you couldn't just say, hey, you know, like, hey, I'm busy, or hey, good morning. Sorry, I'm in the middle of something. Nothing. You couldn't respond at all. For me, I'm just like, I'm out. I'm out. I cut out. [00:56:17] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. See, I'm the one more likely to do that. Yeah. I would be the one more likely to not respond to a text or just respond with a thumbs up. [00:56:34] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh. [00:56:37] Speaker A: Hey, have a great day at work. Thumbs up. [00:56:43] Speaker B: Monopolizes your time. Well. [00:56:51] Speaker A: See, at first that sounded. Because I'm so damaged. It sounded like we're just spending a lot of time together. [00:56:57] Speaker B: You are. But I was like, at the same time. [00:56:59] Speaker A: That sounds fine. That sounds fine. [00:57:01] Speaker B: It does. Until you want to go hang out. [00:57:03] Speaker A: With your buddies choking other things out. Yeah, yeah, that's a problem. I wouldn't put that, like, in the. [00:57:12] Speaker B: Top. [00:57:15] Speaker A: Red flags for me. [00:57:17] Speaker B: All right, so that seems to be a problem in my world as a. As a single father. And mind you, before I was even married, the girl that lives in Boston, who I honestly would say is my true love, are my soulmate, if you will. We still talk, but the reason we broke up is because she was jealous of my daughter. And I was like, well, if that's the case, you're out. And the girl I last was kind of talking with, and we were. We were getting, like, not serious, but, like, we were kind of in the. The beginning stages of trying to figure out what we would look like. And, you know, I told her, like, hey, when my daughter's not around, when my daughter's around, you might not hear from me. But I was very open about it. You might not hear from me. I'll respond to your Texts, text. But I might not text you every day without a text first, because my days are consumed with my kids. And so we last talked. We had a. We. We hung out. And she was just like, you know, like, I hate the fact that I can't see you anytime. I, Like, I just, like, I hate it. And I said, well, you know, I told you this is how it's going to be when I have my daughters, you know, like, week on, week off, you know, like, in the week that I have my daughter, you'll have to text me first sometimes, you know, like, when I do have a moment to think, I will text you. But, like, I have other things going on when I have my own time, I often don't necessarily think about you first. You know, it's kind of like, okay, what did I want to get done for myself today? You know, that I needed to get done? And I experienced that tonight. Even trying to get ready for the podcast, it was like, I'm trying to get stuff ready. I put my daughter down. She comes out, she's like, hey, I can't. I don't have storage on my iPad. And I'm like, you know, so I'm trying to figure that out. And then she's like, oh, hey, I don't have this. And I'm like, you know, like, dude. And in my mind, I'm like, dude, this is my, like, my time, bro. Like, I just sat down. I literally just sit down. You asked me to get up and do plugging. You find the plug for your light and plug it in. Like, come on, kid. And so she was, you know, she was like, yeah, I know. You told me that, but, you know, I'm just not happy with it. And my response was, I will kick rocks. And she was like, all right, then I guess I'll just kick rocks. And she kicked rocks. So, yeah, monopolizing my time as a father, a single father. Nah, it's not happening in my world. Yeah, you make comments. Like, I've had females make comments like, oh, so is your. Are your daughters not around? Yeah, I'm not playing because I call them, you know, like, hey, I just want to touch base with you. I just had a couple minutes. Oh, your daughter's not around. Yeah, you know what? I'm going to let you go. Kind of sorry I called you. [00:59:57] Speaker A: That's nuts. But it makes sense. W. Women hate women. [01:00:04] Speaker B: All right, so what about jealousy? Easily jealous. [01:00:10] Speaker A: God, I just. I just play with that so much that it's, like, entertainment for me. [01:00:16] Speaker B: So I love It. [01:00:18] Speaker A: I don't know if I could live without that. [01:00:21] Speaker B: I love it. I love when a chick's jealous. I'm like, you really like me. [01:00:27] Speaker A: I know. I. You know what? My second. So my friend at my old job, she was leaving the job the day before my last day at the job. And we always talked about smoking cigarettes because I had not had a cigarette in years at that point. And I was always talking about it like, oh, God, I just want a cigarette today. Like, it just never. The nicotine addiction never left me for like two years of not smoking. Three years, in fact. [01:00:56] Speaker B: I love the first inhale. I love the inhale. Smoke. [01:01:00] Speaker A: It's so fun. [01:01:00] Speaker B: Like, that's what feels good to me. Like, vapes don't hit the same way a cigarette does. [01:01:05] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:01:06] Speaker B: All right, so go on. [01:01:08] Speaker A: We were talking outside after she left on her last day, and she was like, should we go get a pack of cigarettes? Like, should we just finally have a cigarette together, like on our last day? And I was like, look, my wife would be very upset if I smoked a cigarette and got hooked back on nicotine and, like, made her house smell like smoke. But she would be way more upset if I did that with the person she calls my work wife. [01:01:38] Speaker B: Yeah, man, that's. That's real, dude. That's real. Like, work wives and work husbands are real shits. Like, you explain to a woman, like, hey, like, that's my. Like, that's my co worker. I spend eight to nine hours to 10 hours a day with them. You know what I mean? Like, almost sometimes more than what you spend with your wife. And like, there's a real jealousy there. [01:02:01] Speaker A: Yeah, it's like, what about. [01:02:03] Speaker B: Oh, for sure. What about demands change? [01:02:06] Speaker A: The man of change. [01:02:08] Speaker B: Demands change. [01:02:10] Speaker A: Demands change. O. I think that's more of. It's a red flag on both of them. [01:02:21] Speaker B: Yeah, for sure. [01:02:22] Speaker A: If there's something so wrong with this guy that he has to change it, that's a problem for him. And then I'd say, say your picker is a little bit off. Why the. Are you with someone long term when you couldn't stand this one thing about them, you know, unless it developed later? [01:02:43] Speaker B: I would, I would agree. I think demands change is definitely a red flag. I think there's. There's something off there. [01:02:49] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:02:51] Speaker B: Doesn't accept other relationships like work wives. [01:02:57] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:02:59] Speaker B: Most likely with the same sex. Doesn't respect same sex relationships or opposite sex for you relationships like you being a friend with a female, you know, Like, I always thought it was weird. My Brother in law's best friend was a female. To me, that was always weird. It was like, what the. [01:03:16] Speaker A: No. [01:03:17] Speaker B: What are you guys talking about? [01:03:20] Speaker A: What do you guys talking about now? Michelle, that was so funny. Boston is not possibly be talking about it. [01:03:29] Speaker B: Right. Boston's not my best friend, but I do run. I do talk to her about everything. Like, you know, like when we finally catch up on me, oh, I'm dating a chick. This is what she is, you know, this is how we've been. This is my marriage right now. This is my relationship, my kids. She tells me her kids, but like, we don't talk every day. And I wouldn't consider her my best friend, you know, like, could she be if we were together for sure. But we're not together. And so we catch up, you know, every other month or so, you know, but she doesn't know where the dead bodies are buried, you know, I mean, like, it's. It's not that kind of best friend where I'm like, oh, this is what I did this weekend. I'm not too happy about it, you know, So I think that's weird. But I'm cool with relationships that, like, if you have a guy friend that you've been a guy from, again, my trust is in my partner. It's not in the people they are around. [01:04:24] Speaker A: Yeah. Trying to think if I've really dealt with that. No, you know, I'm trying to think. I don't think I've really had to deal with that too much. They've assumed pretty well. [01:04:45] Speaker B: I'm gonna skip over defensive. I just feel like that's part of the. The SVU victims unit. What about stonewalls or gives the silent treatment? You get an argument, doesn't go away, she gives you the silent treatment. [01:04:59] Speaker A: Yeah, my mom does that. [01:05:04] Speaker B: I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I'm gonna restructure my. My statement then on my restructuring response. [01:05:12] Speaker A: What? [01:05:12] Speaker B: I want your mom or you to think I view your mom in a certain way. [01:05:18] Speaker A: No, it's fine. Yeah, that's failure to communicate. That's like a. I think it's a serious problem. [01:05:29] Speaker B: I think it's emotionally immature. I think if you can't communicate like an adult, then there's. There's like, you need to do some more introspection, if you will. Like, you need to. Because, like, I got it tonight by my fourth child, she gave me some silent treatment. And I said, hey, look, I'm gonna be straight up. I've done X, Y, and Z in this situation. I'm Trying to. Trying to show you that I care for you. She misunderstood me when I said, come talk to me. She said she thought I said, don't talk. Talk to me. And so she got real shut down, and I said, hey, look, like, I've come in. Since then, I've tried to hug you. I clearly said, come talk to me. You thought I said, don't talk to me, but you're trying to sit here and say I don't love you and you feel like an adopted child. And, I mean, it was a whole letter. I got the. I threw the letter away, but it was like, I feel like you love her 100 and me zero. And I was like, look, I came in, tried to hug you. I. I came in, tried to play with you. I've tried to, like, talk to you. You want to give me the silent treatment. So when you're ready to address your actions, I'm totally open for it. But until then, I'm going to respect your space, and I'm not going to put too much more effort into this. I'm going to go do me and not ruin my night over your actions. But this is where I'm at, and I feel the same with women. [01:06:56] Speaker A: You. [01:06:56] Speaker B: You give me silent treatment. That's cool. Give me a silent treatment, and I'll let you know where that goes. When you ask Monday why I didn't call all weekend, it's because I'm respecting your space. [01:07:10] Speaker A: Yeah. When I give the silent treatment, it's not entirely silent. It's silent until they push, and then I do that thing where I talk through my teeth. Really, like, you just need to give me a second. Okay? Just give me a little time by myself. [01:07:27] Speaker B: That's different, though. That's different because, like, there have been times where. Well, there have been times I've been pushed to my limit, and I say, hey, look, I just need a moment now. But I also know that the responsibility of re. Engaging and talking is when I'm cooled down or whatever. And then I could come back and say, hey, look, I acted. You know, I didn't want to act out of character, which is why I walked away. You know, so there is a responsibility, which is what I was taught in therapy, like in marriage therapy, like in 14 years ago. Whoever wants to walk away from the conversation because it's upsetting or too hard, it's totally fine, respect their space. But know for the person who's walking away, it is your responsibility to bring it back up and address it. Because you can't just brush it under the rug. You have to actually talk about it. Like there has to be a healthy conversation about whatever was so that it doesn't keep repeating. [01:08:22] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:08:25] Speaker B: I don't really care about this one. Lacks empathy. [01:08:33] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. No, it's problematic because if they can't put themselves in someone else's shoes, how are they going to do that with you? [01:08:47] Speaker B: Yeah, but at the same time, I'm kind of like, buck up, chop. You know? Buck, Buck up, chump. You know what I mean? Like, hey, look, like we've all been dealt hard lives. Like I could. I. I guess you're right. I could be empathetic to like, man, that must suck. You know, like your day. Like you share your day or whatever. And I'm like, that's more to hear that. Oh, okay. So sympathetic. Yeah, man, I can imagine how you feel. Like I. I understand how you feel because I felt that way and such. And such. Yes, I get that. I get that. Okay, what about jokes about this I thought was stupid jokes about abusive behavior? Now mind you, the example they used. The example they used, I had actually experienced in a relationship. Girl said, if you ever cheat on me, and she pulled out some knives and she was like, I'll cut it off. And. And she was like, but she was clearly joking. But they said, that is a red flag when women joke in that fashion. And that was exact example they used on this website. Again, I went to all these like clinical websites, review red flags. [01:10:05] Speaker A: I think any humor is on the table. It doesn't matter. [01:10:10] Speaker B: Right? [01:10:11] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. You know, like if my wife made jokes like that, you know, that's. [01:10:17] Speaker B: Don't forget about all of it. [01:10:19] Speaker A: That's. That's humor. That's jealousy. Yes. That's all my favorite things. [01:10:24] Speaker B: You're in my prayers, Aurora. Don't forget about me, Aurora. [01:10:30] Speaker A: What is that? [01:10:32] Speaker B: I was wondering if you were going to pick it up. It's Anthony Jelnick. When he's like, people put out like, like when the Colorado shooting happened, people like, you're in my prayers, Aurora. And he's like, what they're really trying to say on Facebook is, don't forget about me. Don't forget about poor little me over here. [01:10:52] Speaker A: He's so good. [01:10:55] Speaker B: Has mental health issues or. And refuses help. [01:11:02] Speaker A: Yeah, that's just. That's a non starter for me. [01:11:09] Speaker B: Yeah. If you got medical bills, period, I don't want no part of it, you know, I mean like, if you're like, oh man, like I got a bum knee. If you're talking about your Bum knee on the first night and how you're going to a bunch of therapy, you. Maybe, maybe. But at the same time, if you're. [01:11:22] Speaker A: Like, man, hey, we all want to. We all want to park closer to shit, you know? [01:11:27] Speaker B: But if you're talking about, like, man, like, I have, you know, like, I got to go to a g. A GI specialist. I gotta. You know, like, I got some. Some digestion problems. No, no, no, I'm good. Miss me with that. I'm not. No. Not signing up for that boat. You know, it's the same reason God didn't give me retarded children. You know what I mean? He knew I'd be like, nah, I'm good, player. Like, I'm good. I'm good. [01:11:53] Speaker A: Toss it. No, it's very. It's very Aryan of you. [01:11:58] Speaker B: I don't mean it in that sense. I just know my patience is short. [01:12:02] Speaker A: Other sense you could possibly mean it. [01:12:06] Speaker B: I did meet a couple. I knew a couple in my last complex, and their son was like. I don't know. He was probably, like 12 to 14. And he was like, he. He had to wear a diaper. Like, you know, like, he had to wear a diaper. He rode around in a wheelchair, you know, he was very combative. Didn't really understand things. Like, you kind of had to, like. Like, they were very authoritative with him. And, like, the mom would just call him all the time, and she was like, oh, yeah, like, my. Like, you know, he'd be in the pool, and she'd be like, oh, man, this. You know? And I'm like, are you serious? And she's like, what? Like, look like it's my son? Like, you know, he's. And I'm like, so are you cool if I say it? You know. [01:12:52] Speaker A: Like, can I say it if I'm just singing along to rap lyrics? [01:12:57] Speaker B: You know what I mean? Because I use it so frequently as, like, a dismissive term. [01:13:05] Speaker A: Yeah. So more families like that don't joke like that. I mean, they all have a sense. [01:13:13] Speaker B: You got to make light of it, you know? So those were the. Those were the. That's. Those were the red flags for women. Those. All of them. [01:13:21] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:13:24] Speaker B: And we literally covered those within 37 minutes versus the two hours we had or two and a half hours we had last week for the men's. I used to tell people, you know, I used to tell people they. It was. It was a joke, but they'd be like, how. How did your parents. Like, how is your marriage so good? I said this how I Look at it, man. Like, you just got to hit her once. She just needs to know. She just needs to know the power that you possess. That's it. Yeah, you. You let her know the power you possess. Shame pressing you no more, you know? All right, so there I did look up a couple of the things. I looked up different sexualities and I looked up green flags as well as 10 types of partners God will never say are the one for you. [01:14:17] Speaker A: I want to do them in that order, I think. [01:14:21] Speaker B: All right, cool. That's what I wrote them down. Sexualities. And tell me if you relate to any of these, because some of them I do relate to more than others. Demisexual. Do you know what a demisexual is? [01:14:33] Speaker A: No. [01:14:35] Speaker B: That is a person who experiences sexual attraction after forming a strong emotional connection. [01:14:44] Speaker A: Nah. Yeah, it's just. [01:14:46] Speaker B: Me neither. But however, but however organically, I think that's where the worst work. The work husband and wife sometimes play a role because you're not necessarily attracted to them. But once you start connecting with them and, you know, experiencing like, situations with them, I think an attraction establishes not necessarily that you're attracted to their physical being, but you're attracted to who they are emotionally. [01:15:14] Speaker A: Yeah. I think from what I've heard when like people like Dr. Drew talk about it or someone like that, typically it's like project based relationships flourish faster and then also, like sharing a space with someone creates that kind of intimacy. One more thing on that. Just. Just because we brought it up again, I saw this reel of Valentine's cards that were for work husbands and work wives. Like, they were just. They were in the store right next to all the other cards and I sent it to that girl and I was like, if I was hilarious last year, I would have bought my wife this card and pretended like I gave it to her by mistake. [01:16:03] Speaker B: Oh, that would have been cool. That would have been funny. That would have been funny. [01:16:08] Speaker A: She wouldn't have thought that was funny. [01:16:10] Speaker B: You couldn't have put the name in there, though. You couldn't put the name. You couldn't put that female's name. But you could put the sentiments. [01:16:15] Speaker A: I'd have to. [01:16:17] Speaker B: Yeah, if you put the name in there, you're. [01:16:19] Speaker A: It would be like I mixed up the cards. Like, oh, that one was for Betsy. I'm sorry, I should. [01:16:23] Speaker B: Yeah, you could play like, you could totally put it off. [01:16:28] Speaker A: She would have thought that it was true and I played it off as a joke. That's what she would have thought. [01:16:33] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:16:34] Speaker A: And then, and then I would have myself. Even though that would be hilarious, it would have backfired. [01:16:40] Speaker B: You would have to send a text to your buddy prior to time stamp it that you were going to do it. [01:16:45] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, there you go. [01:16:47] Speaker B: Yeah. That's the only savior. That's the only savior in that one. Yeah. All right. Sapiosexual. You ever heard of a sapiosexual? All right. So these kind of came to light because I had a guy I worked with, and he was. He's 54. He's in the dating game. You know, he's. He's trying to have a partner now. He's married, but he was. He was dating for a while when I first met him. And he said, I met this girl, and, you know, she's talking about how she's demi and sapiosexual. And he's like, I don't know what the fuck that is. So we spent like the afternoon Googling this stuff. [01:17:18] Speaker A: I'm literally trying to think of Latin and Greek words to try to figure out what it is. I have no idea. [01:17:26] Speaker B: Sapiosexual is someone who is sexually attracted to intelligence. I can relate a lot to that because I want to. I. I definitely need the physical, but I can't have the physical without the intelligence. Like, I can't have some dumbass where I just look over and I'm like, well, she's hot. Yeah, you know? [01:17:53] Speaker A: Yeah, that was definitely a problem with my ex. [01:17:57] Speaker B: Yeah, I've been in that relationship where you just, like, you don't want to have conversations with them because you're like, you have nothing to add. Yeah, you have nothing to add. [01:18:05] Speaker A: There was a real. [01:18:06] Speaker B: Chicago was not a state. [01:18:10] Speaker A: There was. There was a real moment. We were out at breakfast with my pastor and his wife and their daughter, and the term covenant theology came up and my ex. My ex was like, what's that? And I said, oh, well, it's basically like. And I. I didn't get much farther into the. The sentence before she interrupts me and looks at the little girl as like, hey, Geneva, what are you doing? You coloring? What are you coloring right now? Just. She heard six words of my explanation of covenant the. And she's like, fuck that. I'm not listening. [01:18:50] Speaker B: Over. [01:18:50] Speaker A: Over to the little girl, over to the three year old. That's more my speed. And that was one of many moments when I knew it was over. [01:18:58] Speaker B: So I do want to be stimulated mentally. I do want to have intelligent conversations. I do want to talk about things that stimulate my mind, challenge me. So that is important to Me. So it looks like it's important to you. Gray sexual. [01:19:15] Speaker A: Age. [01:19:17] Speaker B: Gray, as in like 50 Shades of. [01:19:19] Speaker A: Yeah. So is that age. [01:19:25] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm putting two and two together. What you meant by that? No, it's someone who experiences limited sexual attraction rarely or with low intensity, and falls between sexual. An asexual. You know, they kind of. They're kind of in the mid, middle of, you know, asexual being not sexually, you know, active, and the other one being overly sexually active. This person's gray. Sexual. So I feel like that's just kind of. I don't know, man. I feel like that's a normal person. And then pansexual, of course, is someone who's. And all gen. Yeah, Everything. All genders. So I do. I do kind of look at the sapiosexual. Like, that is something that's important to me. The emotional part of it. Don't necessarily need it. The intellectual part of it. I like it. [01:20:20] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:20:22] Speaker B: Yeah. All right. So green flags. Green flags in a relationship are open and honest communication. And I think we would agree with most of these, if not all of these. Active listening, mutual respect, ability to apologize and accept responsibility for a woman. Yeah. Good luck. And, you know, it's funny, I used to tell my ex that of 20 years, like, you never say sorry. And she's like, I just said I'm sorry. I'm like, no, no, no, no. Do you understand what I had to go through to get you to say sorry? You're acting like, you know, you're acting like. [01:21:06] Speaker A: Proves the rule. [01:21:07] Speaker B: Yeah. You're acting like you came in with the badge on your brownie vest. Get out of here, bro. You know what I mean? Like, emotional support, respecting boundaries, which I think is very important. I've had so many females where I say, like, you know, like, hey, look, I really don't want to smoke weed. This is kind of like the path I'm. Oh, you know, it's not even. Here's. Here's the real issue. I've had three. Two females where I say, hey, look, I don't want to have sex until I get married again because it's dishonoring to God. And they're like, really? And then they get me drunk, and the first thing they do is I want to say coax meat to have sex. But I'm pretty sure there was really. No, no. Like, I was probably just Cokes. Thank you. I'm. See, divisive Cokes. [01:22:02] Speaker A: I want to say I redeemed myself. [01:22:06] Speaker B: And then they coaxed me into Having sex after, you know, a couple bottles, you know? [01:22:14] Speaker A: Yes, sir. Pawn at it like a cat, dude. [01:22:18] Speaker B: Yeah, dude. I felt like. Like, honestly, I. Like, I told her that, and she was like, really? And I said, yeah. And then we hung out all night. We drank, we did karaoke. Like, we just. We just had a good time. I wake up and I'm naked and she's leaving my room, and I'm like, no, dude, I didn't. Like, tell me I didn't, but I know I did. You were raped. I feel like I was. I just hope. [01:22:42] Speaker A: I mean, by legal definition, you definitely were. [01:22:46] Speaker B: I just hope. I push. Like, I. Like, I was about to shit and then relaxed. That's. That's it. And I'm pretty sure I did because I. I was fine the next morning. Shared values and goals, Encouraging personal growth. I think that's big. I think I've lacked that in some relationships where I didn't encourage their personal growth. You know, maybe out of my own insecurities. Positive reinforcement. Ability to compromise and comfortable discussing the future. All right, now to round that trio out, 10 types of partners God will never say are the one for you. Someone who is married. And I think back to, like, cc. [01:23:36] Speaker A: Okay, so we're getting real basic. [01:23:39] Speaker B: Well, no, but I think back to CCRSM days where people are like, they're with a. Like a non believing husband and they meet a believer and they're like, I feel like God's called me to you. And you're like, no, no, no, you're. You're married, though. Like, God cannot call you to me. You're married already. I feel like there was some of that going on at ccrsm. [01:24:00] Speaker A: Yeah, that would not shock me. That place is still up. [01:24:05] Speaker B: Is it really? [01:24:06] Speaker A: Oh, I don't know if you've heard the latest. I'll tell you after we're done recording. [01:24:10] Speaker B: Oh. Oh, man. I was hoping you put it on the air. All right, someone. Oh, I will not. [01:24:15] Speaker A: The lead pastor left his wife and ran off with someone in the congregation. [01:24:21] Speaker B: Serious, is it? [01:24:24] Speaker A: No, no. Lead pastor is not at that church anymore, so it's not. Okay, I see what you're doing now. No, it's a. Oh, no, no, no. That was 20 years ago when the lead pastor cheated on us. [01:24:42] Speaker B: No, no, this one was it. [01:24:47] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, yeah. I know the chick that he ran off with, too. [01:24:52] Speaker B: Are you serious? [01:24:54] Speaker A: Yeah. You didn't know, did you? [01:24:57] Speaker B: I. I don't know. I don't think so. But who did that? Yeah, well, of course black didn't didn't. They didn't think white or Hispanic. There was not much left. [01:25:09] Speaker A: Okay, all right, I'm sorry. God. [01:25:12] Speaker B: Wow. Hey, and. And for purposes of recording, feel free to leave all that in. I'm totally cool behind all of that. [01:25:19] Speaker A: Yeah, I'll probably bleep it. All right, well, maybe I will. [01:25:24] Speaker B: I prefer you leave it in. [01:25:26] Speaker A: Leave it past her now. Yes, yes. [01:25:32] Speaker B: Wow. However, if you bleep them all out, you can leave in the argument that we just had about leaving them in, so. See what I mean? Like someone who's married, like it. God did not call you to them. And so someone who does not share your faith, someone who leads you into sin, someone who is emotionally or physically abusive. Duh. Someone who lacks integrity or God's character, someone who does not value your calling or purpose. Someone who is selfish and self centered, someone who is unrepentant of their sin, someone who does not exhibit fruits of the spirit. And lastly, someone who creates chaos or. And distracts you from God. And I would agree with most. I actually agree with all of them. Dude. I actually sent that to my daughter and was like, hey, like, this is what you should be judging men off of. Like, honestly, you know, so, yeah, I think we covered a lot tonight. Now I want to share a couple. Couple stories of. [01:26:47] Speaker A: Before we do that. That's a pretty. I don't know if I'd say exhaustive. [01:26:54] Speaker B: List, but I mean, it's only 10 things. [01:26:56] Speaker A: But there's two things. So I mean, that does kind of speak to these mostly kids. It's mostly like early 20s kids in the church that will meet and like immediately start planning their wedding before they're even engaged and stuff. I agree that's a lot of deep character stuff to suss out before you rush in. And I mean, I'm being hypocritical here. [01:27:21] Speaker B: Yeah, but then you might mid 20s and late 20s. You're mid and late 20s, you know. [01:27:27] Speaker A: Yeah, I was. [01:27:29] Speaker B: Here's the thing. Also go for it. [01:27:32] Speaker A: I was. I was in my mid-20s when I met and we were only together four months when I proposed. So like, that's probably a little hypocritical, but it's just a trend that you see with like very young people who for sure claim that God told them something. [01:27:51] Speaker B: I was. Well, I wasn't saved at the time or had a relationship with Jesus, but I dated for a month before I proposed and we. Well, I dated for a couple weeks before I proposed and we got married after dating for a month solid. So here's some things that weren't covered in some of the red flags that are red flags for me. And this is what I was saying. Hey, cut me off. I've already told you this. But there was two females I was talking to. Different time frames, but I'm just gonna kind of group them together first. We're gonna start with the second. It's not as bad as the first. And I was talking to another female tonight that I'm really excited about. And I was telling her, like, oh, my gosh. Like, you know, like, we're just talking. We haven't even. We went on a breakfast date that was about it. But we've been talking for a couple weeks. And I'm like, tell me this isn't you. And I said, you know, I was talking. I know a couple females who. The second female has three sons. They range from ages of, I don't know, let's just say 8 to 14. I don't know their ages, but I don't know the youngest, but she was telling me she had pictures. And they're artistic pictures. And what I mean by artistic is, like, their metal outlines of sexual positions. So, like, you could tell it's a female giving a dude a blow job, but they're not painted in. They're just. It's a frame, and then it has metal lining to kind of make, you know, the sexual positions. But there's no real background silhouette. No, it's more or less like a drawing. Like a unshaded line drawing, you know, because the background's her. The wall that's behind it. You know what I mean? And so. And she was like, yeah, they're posted. Like, I have them above my couch in my living room. And I'm like, well, that's kind of weird. She's like, well, I'm. You know, I don't make sex as, like, a weird thing in my house now, mind you. She also has a son that is struggling with being a female male. And so I'm like, okay, so I'm seeing a lot of, like, in. At this point, I'm seeing a lot of red flags. You got a son. You're accepting of your son going by a female dressing like a female and taking on a female name or a by name, if you will. And at the same time, you're kind of promoting it because you have these pictures in your house that you're trying to justify. Like, it was just. It was just weird to me. And so those were definitely red flags. And I think that's Why I never got serious with her because we're still friends. You know, she'll talk to me. She's the one I talked to about, like, hey, you got to be coach. You got to be parent. You gotta be friend or whatever. She's also the one that, you know, she shared with me last week. Like, hey, we're moving to greater Phoenix area from, like, a suburban area. And I'm worried about the schooling system because of my son who dresses like a female. And I said, well, you gotta understand, there's gonna be more gangs up there. He's gonna go through some mental stuff, and you just have to be there for him and let him know that you love him. But I think you're wrong for encouraging him to transition, like, into, like, to take on that role of a female. I think you should have encouraged maybe a feminine male and let him know it's okay to be, like, a feminine male or charismatic male, that he doesn't have to necessarily be a female, like, make him feel comfortable with who he is. And so isn't that whole thing so. [01:31:18] Speaker A: Offensive to just gay guys? [01:31:22] Speaker B: Like, what's that? [01:31:24] Speaker A: Just, like, the whole idea that if you like to play with a Barbie, then you're clearly, like, not a dude, you know, just, like, cuts gay guys completely out of the equation. Just. [01:31:36] Speaker B: Yeah. I don't know, man. I really don't know. I think. I think it's all. I think there's. You know, I. I did tell her this because I think this is kind of what it's going to stem to. He's gonna have some mental problems. He's gonna definitely contemplate suicide. Not that I wish it upon him, but I think he's highly likely to contemplate suicide. [01:32:02] Speaker A: He is already contemplating it. Yeah. [01:32:06] Speaker B: And I said so. With that being said, that's why I think you need to encourage him and let him know that you'll always be there for him, but encourage him to embrace who he is as a male, not as a male wanting to be a female, as a male. Male in his current stance and just be okay with being a little feminine or charismatic, however you want to call it. But I wouldn't encourage him anymore to try and be a female and call him your daughter. Like, again, we talked for, like, a good six months before I ever knew she had three boys. She didn't have two boys and a girl. And this was the first conversation. We've known each other maybe, maybe a little under a year, and this is the first conversation a couple. About a couple weeks ago of her actually referring to him as a boy. I only knew he was a boy because her brother kept telling me, that's a boy. Now, with that said, what's up? [01:33:03] Speaker A: Sorry I keep interrupting you. Could this kid be autistic? [01:33:09] Speaker B: He's not. [01:33:10] Speaker A: Okay. I'm expecting boring. A theory about the autists and the trannies being one in the same. I think that's why they like the rules and the language. They like, really get off on, like, well, there's 64 genders, and I'm this one, and you call me, these pronouns. And there's 246 toothpicks on the floor. [01:33:30] Speaker B: And I would argue against that. I think a lot of people that are in that position, I think they lack a male influence when I'm only referring to. It's weird because a lot of lesbians or people or females that want to be males have had a negative male experience that inflicted that kind of thought where they just hate males. Where on the opposite side, a lot of males who want to be female experience the same infliction by men, whether it's lack of, whether it's molestation, rape, whatever. And they tend to take on, instead of being like, hey, I love females. They end up taking on a attraction to men. So it's really weird to me, the dynamics of men and women, because I feel like if you're mind, you take away the ugly females that are only lesbians because they can't get a dude. The ones that are like, you know, like, you're like, wow, like you're lesbian. Like, that really took me off. Because you're an actually beautiful woman and they're not the whole free spirit, kind of hippie kind of vibing chicks. They've had negative male experiences that just. They detest males for whatever reason, whether it's rape, molestation, lack of a father figure, male treatment, whatever. They tend. This is just opinion. This is not fact. I didn't look this up. But I feel like those are the females that turn lesbian. Where I feel males that go through the same thing in a. Being gay males attracted to men for whatever odd reason it is, you know, you think they would take the same route as females and be like, I'm pro female. But I feel like these. I feel like a lot of homosexual men lacked a male presence, or maybe they had male presence, but they were so much with their mom and their grandmas and other females, females that they just felt more comfortable. And so when they became men or transition into men, they don't even know how to be a man or what a man is. Because the lack of input on the father figure. [01:35:37] Speaker A: Yeah, no, I mean, I totally agree with that. I just feel like so many of the trans people I'll see, like, reels of or even the ones that I run into in everyday life, they are just socially out there. And I. I think that. That it's like. [01:35:57] Speaker B: I think that's a part of it. I think that's honestly a part of it. They're not comfortable in their skin. They're not comfortable with being who they are. Therefore, they're like, the only thing they know how to be is what they want to be. And they're so gung ho about it, you know? I mean, because I could say the same about Christians, Jehovah Witness, more Mormons, people that come to your door and you're like, wow. Like, whoa. You know what I mean? Like, none of my other neighbors do this, but you're out here doing it. Why? Oh, because I have such a love for Jesus. Okay, like, calm down. I'm a Christian. I got love for Jesus, too. You know what I mean? But these people, I. I just feel like, you know, their. Their religion is that is that. And they're trying to promote it just as any other faith. [01:36:41] Speaker A: That's what religion is in. They're in, like, the Venn diagram of, like, Comic Con, like, cosplayers and, like, the trans people. It, like, it really feels like the same people sometimes. Like, they are just into, like, I'm gonna make myself look crazy. I'm gonna put all these crazy lipsticks on. I'm gonna wear a tutu at the grocery store. It's just like. It just doesn't seem to be coming from anywhere near the same mental place as, like, gays and lesbians. [01:37:11] Speaker B: Yeah, no, I get what you're saying. And I think. I think. Honestly, I think a lot of people. I think a lot of people deal with not being comfortable in society with who they are. I really do. Now, the second story I had of the second female, this one was weird. We talked for a couple weeks on the phone, only never met her. And she tells me about her guy friend, and she's like, yeah, he, you know, like, he hangs out a lot, but, you know, I really like it. Like, you know, like, he's been what he wanted to date, but, like, you know, like, I'm just not into him. And she goes, but he's around a lot because, like, he's been a good male figure for my sons. You know, I'm a Single mom, Dad's not around. I'm like, okay, cool. You know, like, right on. We're talking and then, you know, so fast forward, we're having a conversation one day, and she goes, let me tell you what he did last night. And I'm like, what happened? She goes, so, yeah, so she goes, I go off my girlfriends and we're at a country bar or whatever, and we're dancing, and she goes, and like, my phone was blowing up, but I didn't know it, I didn't hear it. She's. So I go outside and I check my messages and I see like, oh, my gosh, like, he's been calling a lot. So she's like, I call him and he's like, dude, like, what are you doing? Like, I've been calling you, you don't answer. And she's like, whoa. First of all, like, calm down. And he's like, you know, she's like, what'd you call for? He's like, oh, it's. You know what? Nevermind, it's already been settled. She goes, all right, well, then, you know, he's like, just enjoy your night. She's like, no, no, no, I'm. I'm gonna come home. Like, if. If you're making a big deal, I'm coming home. He's like, no, it's fine. Enjoy your night. She's like, no, I'll be there in a little bit. And so she leaves. She goes home and it was. It was something about her kid, but not important. He leaves and she's undressing and getting her makeup taken off. So she's like, she's like, you know, I'm in the bathroom, I'm washing my face, you know, she's like, I'm getting ready to go to bed. So I'm. I'm just naked. I'm fully naked. And he texts me and he says, hey, I left my gun there. I got to come back real quick, real quick and grab it. Mind you were gun friendly state. And so she goes, I run down. [01:39:13] Speaker A: He left it there. He was watching the kid. [01:39:16] Speaker B: A lot of people have the same comment, like, where the fuck was this gun now? And so he must have left it in the safe spot, but, like, he didn't want it on him. And so she's like, I ran down, I opened the garage, I go back up and finish my routine. I said, hey, just close the garage when you leave. She was. All of a sudden I hear him and he's in my room. And so, you know, I'm Thinking like, oh, this dude's trying to, like, rape you. You know? I mean, like, that. Tell me, where are you going with this? You know, she's naked. He's in the room, and she's like, hey. Like, this is inappropriate. Like, dude, I'm trying to get my. My night. Like, I'm trying to, like, get ready for bed. Like, what are you doing? And he's like, well, I just want to talk about tonight. And she's like, dude, like, honestly, like, don't worry about it. Like, just please leave my room. Like, I'm. I'm like, this is uncomfortable. Like, leave my room. And he won't leave. And so mind you, I'm thinking, like, holy. Like, this dude is, like, something to worry about. Apparently not. Her son gets up out of the bed and says, dude, get the. Out of my mom's room. She's naked. Pushes him out of the room. [01:40:20] Speaker A: Wait, wait, wait. [01:40:21] Speaker B: What. [01:40:22] Speaker A: What? Bed? [01:40:26] Speaker B: My son. My son jumps out of my bed and says, dude, out of my. Get out of my mom's room. [01:40:31] Speaker A: Bed. [01:40:31] Speaker B: She's naked. [01:40:32] Speaker A: How old is. I have to ask now, how old? [01:40:38] Speaker B: 10. 11. [01:40:39] Speaker A: 10. Naked. Nice. [01:40:43] Speaker B: Yeah. So I had the same question you had. I paused, I said, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Your. Your son was. Was in the room? And she goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I'm. I'm like, I. I don't make sex a weird thing in my house, which is what the other first woman. Yeah. And so I'm like, oh, wait, like, so he sleeps with you? [01:41:10] Speaker A: And she's like, you just said the word sex. That's weird. So you're putting more of a thing on it than even the original story. [01:41:18] Speaker B: Because, well, I first had told someone, sexually positive. They say they're sexually positive. And the female was like, I'm sexually positive. But I don't agree with any of those stories. She's like, I don't agree with those women. Like, I'm sexually positive in the sense if my son has sexual questions, I'll answer them. She's like, but my son doesn't see me naked. [01:41:37] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:41:37] Speaker B: She's like, he hasn't seen me naked since it was inappropriate for him to see me naked. She's like, which was at a young age. And I'm like, I agree. And she's like, I don't need my son sexualizing me, nor do I need to have pictures up promoting sexual positions for my kids to think about. And I was like, I agree. She goes, now, mind you, I might have those pictures in my room. But my kids wouldn't necessarily be welcomed in my room freely if I had those types of pictures, which I also agreed to. I agreed to both of those statements. But she was like, that is weird. I was like, cool, we can still date. That was my. We had this conversation night before this. This podcast, because we're supposed to go out on. On Valentine's Day. And I said, okay, cool. So Friday's still on, just so you know. I said, because if you would answer those differently. [01:42:23] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:42:23] Speaker B: I would have told you I had something. Something come up. [01:42:26] Speaker A: Yeah, that I'm still like. I feel like I just watched a Tarantino movie. It's like, whoa. I thought it was weird, too, to just slam that chick's head into the. Into the mantle. Like, that was crazy. [01:42:42] Speaker B: Mind you, she looked at. She, like, made me feel like I was the weirdo. You know what I mean? Like, in the phone conversation. It was the last conversation we ever had. I never called her back. That was like, him. [01:42:52] Speaker A: That's not. [01:42:53] Speaker B: To me. I was like, that's off. That's off. That's a red flag. [01:42:58] Speaker A: It would be crazy if you hadn't found that out until the first night you were sleeping over. [01:43:04] Speaker B: You know what I mean? [01:43:05] Speaker A: Well, make room for Byron. Yeah. Hey, look, great lady. [01:43:14] Speaker B: Cover. Cover your. She's a great. [01:43:16] Speaker A: Wait, wait, is your kid in the room? [01:43:21] Speaker B: Hey, Byron, I think you're gonna need to put a pillow over your head. [01:43:23] Speaker A: Okay. I thought literally one of your kids had walked into the room and you were telling them to cover your ears or whatever Uncle Nasty is about to say. [01:43:32] Speaker B: Tell him, Byron, to cover his ears for what he's about to hear about to defile your mother. [01:43:38] Speaker A: Hey, look, she's a great lady. I love her son Russell, but he's a real cover hog. You know, he really just. [01:43:49] Speaker B: Oh, you imagine. Do you spend the night. He's like, I got middle. [01:43:55] Speaker A: You don't know what you're asking for, kid. Pigs in a blanket. Oh, God. [01:44:08] Speaker B: Awesome. Well, that's. That's our episode tonight for. For Pseudonyms. Man. Oh, man, that was quite a bit. So, hey, once we get off the phone or get off the recording, we'll maybe. Well, maybe we'll do it now. What do you want to. What do you want to look at next week? [01:44:29] Speaker A: Let's see. I was. I was wondering if the opening topic would become an episode, but we've. We've spent two episodes devoting a little bit of time to that, so I think we're good on that. Yeah, I don't Know, you've got, you've got a list of topics you've been wanting to get into. The red flags thing was mine, and that took up two episodes now, so it really should be yours. [01:45:00] Speaker B: So I have all that. You pick. I have the mind. You know, just. How do we protect it? How? You know, because I feel like it's such a big thing in the, in, you know, it's such a big thing. Like we had a guy commit suicide in our men's group a couple weeks ago. And a lot of people are like, oh, well, he doesn't understand his identity in Christ. And I'm like, that's not it, guys. Like, I've had suicidal thoughts as a Christian. Didn't mean I didn't understand my identity. In. Damn. In, in almost said that didn't mean I. But I was kind of frustrated because they were like, oh, it's your identity in Christ. I'm like, has anything to do with that? Like, I knew my identity in Christ. The mind, the battlefield is the mind. It's the thought of being. I'll be less of a burden. It's the thought of, of, of, you know, like, you know, I won't have these problems. I won't, you know, like, you feel like you're, it's hopeful, hopeless. It has nothing to do with your identity. You understand that. But in a fixed mindset, you honestly think you are a piece of crap because that's what your ex told you. You honestly think you're a piece of your burden because that's what your parents told you. You think you're like you. It's hopeless. So the mind was one of them. And you could translate that to not even a Christian aspect. Like it is. The mind is, is Christian or not. Growth are fixed. It's where whatever bad thing you want to do, we call it sin. But the world doesn't necessarily call it that. It's where everything starts. It's with one thought. It's with one, you know, so how do you protect it? What are some of the things about it? What is a fix? What is a growth? We get. That was one of the topics that I was looking at. The other one was NASA and, and, and, and flat Earth versus round Earth. [01:46:51] Speaker A: I can't, I don't have enough working knowledge of that one. [01:46:56] Speaker B: I'm not gonna lie. I, I, I do think the moon landing was fake. I think there's clearly enough evidence for that. I think the fake. The moon landing's fake, bro. Like, we can't even get past the Van. Helen. The van. The Van Allen belt. [01:47:18] Speaker A: And so I looked into that, and I didn't find a definitive answer I was happy with. But what I. What I think I pieced together was that that belt of radiation is. Hold on, You're. Dude, you're fucking dismissing me? I haven't even opened my mouth yet. I haven't even told you. [01:47:39] Speaker B: Hey, little girl, what are you coloring? What are you coloring? [01:47:46] Speaker A: The. That belt of radiation is outside of Earth's orbit. So my question is, is the moon in Earth's orbit? Because it never leaves the Earth's. [01:48:00] Speaker B: It's out of Earth's orbit. And I'm going to tell you why. Because NASA released a video which is online, but they took down from their website of a NASA person talking about his role at NASA. And his role at NASA was trying to figure out how do we have an. How do we get him a shuttle with enough fuel to go past the radiation belt to the moon and back? And he says, like, not only do we have to go there, but we also have to come back. And he's like, so that's what we're trying to figure out here is how do we do that? That video was released in 2010. Way Past the moon landing. Now, mind you, let's just go back to moon landing. We just barely got no Kia cell phone. [01:48:44] Speaker A: We. We haven't even chosen this as the topic yet. You tricked me into talking about this. [01:48:52] Speaker B: All right, man. Well, okay. I'm gonna let you pick next One week Talk next week's topic, and I'm coming back to this. We're opening with NASA, bro. We're opening with NASA. You tell me what next week's topic is, and we're doing it. [01:49:07] Speaker A: I really like the mind idea. Did you have a third one? It was just the two. [01:49:12] Speaker B: No, that's. That's. That's the. Yeah, I did write it down, but I. I did my homework on it, and I was like, Kanye. But it was about. What about Kanye? [01:49:21] Speaker A: I would love to talk about Kanye. Let's. Let's do the Mind, and then we'll do. We'll do NASA when you do the Revelation episode. About that. [01:49:35] Speaker B: Okay. I have been studying Revelation a little bit, but I feel like there's so much to it. [01:49:45] Speaker A: Yes. [01:49:45] Speaker B: And there's so many different views of it that it's going to take a minute to actually kind of. [01:49:50] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:49:50] Speaker B: For sure. Dissect it and digest it. [01:49:56] Speaker A: Yep. I agree. [01:49:58] Speaker B: All right. Mind it is next week, man. [01:50:00] Speaker A: All right, cool. Thanks for listening. Everybody. Talk to you. Next week. [01:50:07] Speaker B: Yeah. Have a good night, guys. Kyle. Take care, brother.