004: Too Big for Anal

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Welcome to Pseudonym Podcast. I'm your host. I'm. Well, let me introduce my host, Franklin. [00:00:16] Speaker B: I don't know why that made me laugh so bad. I forgot to make a name for you. [00:00:23] Speaker A: I did too. I just came up. [00:00:24] Speaker B: This is. This is. This is my co host, Turk. [00:00:29] Speaker A: Turk. Turk and Franklin. Tonight, Franklin Turk show. I don't know why. Fine. Sounds like a But that's fine. [00:00:40] Speaker B: That's a cool name. That was the black doctor on Scrubs. [00:00:47] Speaker A: I don't think I've ever seen that. [00:00:48] Speaker B: You hate it. [00:00:48] Speaker A: I've never watched Scrubs. [00:00:51] Speaker B: Oh, my God, you hate your man. [00:00:53] Speaker A: Oh, the dude with the mole from. From. What's that Alicia Silverstone movie, Rolling with the homies? I'm talking about Clueless. Is it the black dude from Clueless? He's in all the T mobile commercials now. [00:01:11] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep. I think he's cool. Donald. Donald Fasan. Oh, is that his name? [00:01:20] Speaker A: I'm not sure. Tonight I'm smoking Liga Pravada number nine to go with my cheap federalist Cabernet Sauvignon. [00:01:33] Speaker B: It looks like a very dark cigar. I always. I always lean toward the lighter ones, believe it or not. [00:01:43] Speaker A: Yeah, less heartburn, for sure. [00:01:45] Speaker B: My tendency is always for harder things. I drink whiskey neat. I drink coffee black. You'd think that I would go for the. The dark cigars, but they paired better with coffee if they were lighter. [00:02:01] Speaker A: That's funny. I smoke, I drink my coffee black and my whiskey neat as well. [00:02:07] Speaker B: You know, they. They've proven a link to psychopathy with liking bitter beverages. [00:02:16] Speaker A: Really? I knew I was when I took that one riddle. You know the riddle, it says woman. [00:02:26] Speaker B: Yeah, I know this one. Go ahead. [00:02:28] Speaker A: Because. Yeah, female, attends her mother's funeral, falls in love at first sight. Her and the guy click, but before they can exchange numbers, they part ways. Next day, she kills her sister. Why? [00:02:44] Speaker B: Because she wanted the guy to show up to the funeral. [00:02:48] Speaker A: Yeah, and hopes he would. I mean, to me, it was genius. It was like. [00:02:54] Speaker B: This is a go getter. This is a lesson in goal setting. [00:02:58] Speaker A: You guys, where is this female at? How come I haven't met her yet? All the good ones are taken or in jail. [00:03:13] Speaker B: Hey, I can hear you. I'm gonna. I forgot to lock the cats up. You go ahead and get started. I can hear you through my headphones. [00:03:22] Speaker A: All right, sounds good. So tonight we're gonna be basically talking about what parents or what we sacrifice for our kids. You know, what is it that we actually sacrifice for our children? And at the end of it, we'll probably give some insight on not only what we sacrifice, but, you know, how we can maybe some tools on, you know, to cope with it as well as to help raise our kids. Just some things I've gone by that most parents, when I talk to them about it, are like, that's genius. But it's. To me, it just makes sense. So what. It. What as. As you started? Well, first of all, tell me how your week went, because you said we were going to get into it on this podcast. [00:04:22] Speaker B: Ah, yeah, I switched to. I used to work the 8am shift and I switched to the 7am shift, which even just as I say that now does not sound that bad. But basically my sleep schedule really can't change at all. But I have to get up an hour earlier now, so I'm just like getting four hours of sleep every night. Can't fall asleep when I need to. Don't really get what's going on. I'm super tired, so I should be able to just go out like a light. But just something about the adjusting schedules just preventing me from sleeping when I need to because I'm just not used to it. [00:05:07] Speaker A: You got Spotify? Yeah, they have a playlist for. For. It's for overthinkers. It's a sleep. Like sleep music for overthinkers. That's what I fall asleep too. [00:05:22] Speaker B: All right, I'll give that a try. You ever do the green noise? [00:05:27] Speaker A: No, not really. I need. This one has a lot of deeper bass, mellower tones. So it kind of, you know, kind of. If I start to stray off into a thought, it, boom, you know, kind of brings me me back. Number four likes to fall asleep to sound bowls. She puts them on extremely high. However, she's on like 10, 15 minutes. I know her struggles and worries as a child is not the same, but, you know, another thing I do and, you know, you. You're probably gonna laugh, but I like to turn on Cops and just. [00:06:12] Speaker B: And just sweat, fall asleep. [00:06:16] Speaker A: You know, it is hard to fall asleep to Cops now that. Especially now that I got the 247 channel of cops. Before, I would fall asleep during the commercials, but now, like, I. It's like now I have to put on like, a basketball game that's old that I've already seen, and I just kind of get bored of it or something, you know, and I just fall asleep. [00:06:37] Speaker B: There's no chance that I could relax watching Cops just because the whole time I would be like, well, that should be illegal. You shouldn't be able to Ask her that. Oh, okay. I guess we're just wiping our ass with the Constitution now. Oh, okay. [00:06:50] Speaker A: This. [00:06:51] Speaker B: This person has no rights. All right, Co. There are these plants, of course. [00:06:59] Speaker A: I was watching one tonight, and I'm like, dude, these guys are clearly meth heads. And he's like, no, I smelled weed in the car. And they're like, no, you didn't. We don't do weed. He's like, smelled weed in the car. And I'm like, okay, they find no weed. All they find is a bunch of method people. He took him out of the car because he smelled weed. [00:07:25] Speaker B: Yeah. So that. What else was going on? I know there was something else. I can't think of it now, so it must not have been a big deal. But, yeah, it's just been a. Just been a tired week. But, yeah, I also have not been drinking coffee. Part of what inspired the topic for tonight was that I gave up coffee. And at the time when I came up with the topic, I was dieting because I've been having some blood pressure, some high blood pressure, but I've been measuring it at home, and it's been a lot better at home than it is at the doctors, so I'm not as worried about it anymore. But, you know, doing this new schedule without caffeine has been a little bit more difficult. But not feeling tired in the midday for some reason, I think, like, caffeine makes me more tired, like, in the middle of the day because I'm, like, coming down from it. So, yeah, a little more. [00:08:47] Speaker A: What'd you ask you to take in melatonin at night? [00:08:51] Speaker B: No, it doesn't work for me. I built up an immunity. [00:08:57] Speaker A: Okay. [00:08:58] Speaker B: I got to the point where I was taking, like, a quadruple dose of the maximum strength, and it still wasn't really working. It works for me. The more I took it, the faster it would. It would go. So, like, the first time I took, like, a single dose, it was like taking NyQuil, where it was like, okay, you know, for, like, 45 minutes, I felt super tired, and I was able to fall asleep, and then I would take, you know, quadruple the dose, and the whole thing would be over in 10 minutes. Like, if I didn't fall asleep during that 10 minutes that I felt tired, like, it was just over. [00:09:37] Speaker A: You have to. Yeah, that's. That's part of it is you have to. You have to pretty much be settled down 15 to 30 minutes after you take it. Otherwise you miss the train and. Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:09:50] Speaker B: Is there anything by the Way I. I felt this when I was sick because I was just sick so long earlier this year. That moment when nyquil wears off is the most energizing moment. I don't know if you've ever stayed awake through a whole dose of NyQuil, but there were a couple nights that I stayed awake through, like, three in a row because I just couldn't. I was, like, coughing too bad, and I couldn't fall asleep. That moment. It's a moment when you. You go from nyquil sleepy to, oh, it. Where it wore off, off, and I'm done and I'm up now, and it's like doing a rail, dude. It's crazy. [00:10:39] Speaker A: I've never. Never had that. [00:10:41] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:10:42] Speaker A: You ever done rail? [00:10:43] Speaker B: No. [00:10:45] Speaker A: No. Yeah. Okay. I didn't. I. I was wondering if you were. If you were pulling from experience or. It's throwing out. [00:10:52] Speaker B: I don't know why I said that phrase four times today. I don't know why doing a rail is such a funny phrase to me. Someone at work was talking about how they were having trouble sleeping and. And just randomly, people were asking. I'm like, well, you know, when do you stop drinking coffee? Like, all this stuff. They're asking, like, serious questions. And then I just go, you do cocaine at night? It's like, I don't know if, you know, like, that could probably fuck with your sleep. You do a bedtime rail. [00:11:29] Speaker A: So why did you say this was sparked by getting off of coffee? [00:11:35] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Because, I mean, I wouldn't take care of myself if it wasn't for my kid. So, you know, it's like when. When I have an issue that might affect my health, I'm on the hook to deal with it now, you know. [00:11:51] Speaker A: And you know that. I didn't. I didn't think. I didn't. I didn't look at it like that. Actually, I wrote self care in the opposite direction. [00:11:59] Speaker B: Self care? [00:12:01] Speaker A: Yeah, like, you're doing self care, health care, if you will, in the proper direction because you want to live for your kids. I do it. I wrote it down as a sacrifice, as in, like, I don't have time to do it. [00:12:15] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:12:16] Speaker A: You know, like, I don't have time to go get massage or get a manicure, pedicure, you know, like, I do it with my daughters sometimes, like, especially when I have a job. We go every two weeks, get mannies and petties. But, like, as far as, you know, grooming and stuff, I have to wait till, like, my kids are gone and I have a good, you know, couple hours To. To just indulge myself. [00:12:39] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. And that's been. [00:12:47] Speaker A: Like. [00:12:48] Speaker B: Yeah, I just feel like I have less time for personal stuff than ever. I get home from work an hour earlier, which is nice, but, you know, it's just all about the kid until she goes to bed. And then I get like an hour with the wife. And then if I want to, you know, read anything, journal, meditate, edit a podcast, anything, that all has to happen in, like, the hour I have before I got to get to bed to get, you know, six or seven hours of sleep if I'm lucky, you know. So it's been like four to five. [00:13:28] Speaker A: So. [00:13:28] Speaker B: Yeah, it's just. It's a. It's crazy how much your kids take up in terms of time and energy and stuff, because you just think back and you're like, what was I doing with my time before? Like, clearly something was filling the days before I had a kid, but I have no idea what it was, because one third of the day now is just giving back self, bro. [00:13:55] Speaker A: Yeah, it was like, I go anywhere I want, do whatever I want. You know, I went on a. My daughter wanted to have a play date with one of her friends. And so, you know, there's that awkward moment of you're meeting the parents, we're sitting there while the kids are going to play, and, you know, what brought you out here? You know, where are you originally from? What do you do for work? And I said, you know, I told her about the podcast and I said, yeah, I started a podcast. And this week we're, you know, we're talking about, like, sacrifices that we make for our children. She's like, oh, that's good. And I was like, you know what? Like, we're sitting here, we kind of ran out of topics. This is going on hour three of the kids playing. So I'm like, what are some of the sacrifices you've made for your children, man? She just started rattling stuff off and I was like, oh, this is good. This is good. I was like, man, that's right. Like, I didn't think about that. How, like we've been sitting here talking about it, but I never looked at it as a sacrifice for. For my children. [00:14:54] Speaker B: Yeah. What kind of stuff? [00:14:57] Speaker A: I'm glad you asked there, Franklin. So one of them kind of like what you were saying, we give up our personal time. Of course. Yeah. And some of that time is, you know, the time that you would put in self care, the time you'd put into reading or studying or even a hobby. You know, some Parents, they want to go back to school, but they're like, I can't, you know, I can't because I have kids. I'm a single parent. Parent. But then, you know, we give up our comforts. I mean, like, I know there's times where I'm fine sitting on the couch by myself watching a movie and, you know, having daughters, they want to lay on you, snuggle, lean upon you, you know, sit on your lap and, you know, it's like, I love those moments. However, there are times when my ass itch or I gotta. You know what I mean? I gotta. I gotta. I gotta scratch or I gotta, you know, pinch and twist and I can't, you know, because they're on me. Career aspirations, you know, like, for instance, I got a job offer to travel the US Building data centers. I would love more than anything to do that, but I just can't, you know, Like. And I might take it because it's kind of the only offer I have right now, but I'm struggling with it for sure, you know, because then I just go from having every other week to having. [00:16:36] Speaker B: I. You're good. [00:16:37] Speaker A: I go from. I go from having four every other week to having four every other weekend, you know? [00:16:44] Speaker B: Yeah. I'm not trying to discourage you from that at all. If. If that's your only option, then you probably should take it. But I have thought about, like, living in a different state. Like. Like doesn't live in Tennessee, right? [00:17:07] Speaker A: Yeah, he does. [00:17:08] Speaker B: Oh, he does now. Okay. [00:17:09] Speaker A: For. [00:17:09] Speaker B: For a while he was out in Arizona, I thought. Or he was talking about it. [00:17:15] Speaker A: He pretty much followed them. Right when they did it. [00:17:17] Speaker B: Really? [00:17:18] Speaker A: He was maybe a month behind them. Yeah. [00:17:20] Speaker B: Okay. So when they were still talking about it before, long before they pulled the trigger, when they were still in Lake Forest, he was talking about moving to Arizona. Or at least that's what they thought. And I was just thinking, like, man, there's no. Or it doesn't matter if. If that really happened or not, because it's just an idea. I. I know, you know, I know a couple who. The wife moved to Idaho for like a year and took the kids. And they didn't break up or anything. It was just for a job opportunity. And like, I. I always thought, like, for, like the function of it, like, okay, that makes sense. Like, you need a job, you go do your thing. Now that I actually have a kid, I cannot imagine. Like, I. I just. I don't think that's an option, you. [00:18:13] Speaker A: Know, and that's how I looked at it, like I'm like looking everywhere like I'll take pay cuts because I, I just, I, it's, it's not sitting well with me. And I did it for a year when. Right, right when we moved out to Arizona, I did it. I traveled the US and worked. [00:18:28] Speaker B: That's right. Oh yeah, you lived in a hotel five days a week? [00:18:32] Speaker A: Yeah. Oh, dude, like seven days. Because I was only coming home every other weekend. That's right. [00:18:39] Speaker B: Oh my gosh, that and so sucked. [00:18:43] Speaker A: Yeah, it's just, it's horrible. It's, it's horrible mentally, dude. Like, you literally have nothing to do. I mean, like, you don't want to go outside because like there's nothing but drug addicts else, you know, all these extended stays and, you know, and it smells like freaking curry, you know, and so they're just not great places to stay. This company, however, it puts you up in like, you know, a condo, you know, usually, you know, like a really nice place with, with your co workers. So you kind of live together with other dudes in a big house or, you know, in a very nice like high rise building where you're on the top floor already furnished, you know, so you kind of feel like you have your space. It's not. But still being away from my kids was very hard and I feel like that's when I lost touch with my two older ones. And now number four is as @ the same age and I'm doing it again. So it's, it's, it's difficult, dude. Like, I'm definitely praying about it, you know, but then again, I've also not taking jobs because of the benefits, the lack of, you know, like, hey, how's your insurance for my kids? You know, what's that look like? You know, for this mom that I was talking to, she has a job and she has to give up her lunches and she has to time her lunches to pick up her kids from school and then take them home because she, you know, she wanted her kids to be in a better school. Out here in Arizona, you're not, you're not limited to the district you live in. You could attend any school of any, any city, no matter where you live. [00:20:22] Speaker B: That's cool. [00:20:24] Speaker A: So she has to drive 30 minutes, pick her kids up from school 30 minutes, drop them off back at home, and then, you know, she goes back to work and that's her lunch break every day. [00:20:36] Speaker B: Man, it must rock to have an hour long lunch break. This has an embarrassment of riches. [00:20:45] Speaker A: It's, I think it's pointless, man. I've never even. At construction, we get an hour lunch break and I'm like, for what takes me 15 minutes to eat. Yeah, if we're gonna go like every now and then and have a sit down lunch, makes sense. But if an hour every day is pointless, I only need 15 minutes, you know? Yeah, maybe a half hour max. But I'm a, yeah, I'm a 15 minute guy. Especially if I'm, if I'm physically working. Nah, let's get this eight hours knocked out right now. [00:21:14] Speaker B: Yeah, that's, that's one way to look at it. I, I've always, like, kept myself very busy on my lunch breaks. I'm always like reading or writing or editing a podcast or, you know, just doing something. So like once it hits like the 29 minute mark and my timer goes off and I've got like, you know, five minutes or so to clock back in. Always, like, fuck, I just need like 15 more minutes. Can I just. Which I'm free to take if I have an extra 15 minutes on the clock that day. So, I mean, they're, they're cool with that. But I, I used to have an hour long lunch break and I've never gotten used to having a half hour. It's never been long enough. [00:21:57] Speaker A: So now with your new hours, why don't you take a half hour long or an hour long lunch break and get home and a half hour later? [00:22:06] Speaker B: Get home a half hour later? Oh, well, I, I'd rather get home quicker. Like, that's the thing. It's like when I'm doing the work, I'm like, oh man, I just need more time to like work on this thing. But then like, when it comes to the end of the day, it's like, fuck, I'm out of here. Like, let's get it. Just, I can only focus on what's right in front of me. So. Yeah. [00:22:29] Speaker A: You must really love this one. [00:22:30] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:22:33] Speaker A: What are some of the things that you, you, you realize you had to sacrifice? I mean, I got a couple more, but I kind of want to hear where you're at. What are some of the things you've sacrificed? [00:22:41] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, time. I think we're in agreement with time just being the most prevalent one because, I mean, that just affects everything. Like you said, that affects hobbies, that affects work, that affects time with your wife, quality of time. You know, you don't sleep as much, so your, your waking hours are just a little bit more miserable because you're tired and every moment is agony. And you think about ending it all, you know. [00:23:14] Speaker A: Again, I would never do it myself, but I'm not opposed. If somebody's robbing a bank, guarantee I got my cape on. [00:23:25] Speaker B: The turk. [00:23:27] Speaker A: The turk. That's right. [00:23:29] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying to think of a. A unique one. I. I think you probably handle this a little bit better than I do, but getting thrown up on and having to change diapers and stuff, that's not a small thing for me. I gag when I change her diaper. To. To this day, I've still not gotten used to it. At 13 months, I. [00:23:55] Speaker A: That's just a dude thing. That's a dude thing. Most dudes gag. Like, I just. I do the same thing. I gag. Like, if it's. If it's a grow. Like, I'm gagging. Like, anal sex. If you didn't go poop before we. We do anal sex, I'm gagging on the way out. Like, on the way to the bathroom cleanup. I'm gagging. [00:24:13] Speaker B: Like, it just grosses me out, that smell. I've never done anal, but that smell during doggy style has never bothered me because it's the right context. [00:24:25] Speaker A: That. And it's. Smell it. It's. It's a smell of like, okay, they. They definitely took a. Today, but they wiped, you know, and this is. This is just. This is just. [00:24:35] Speaker B: I mean, look, they didn't put their back into it. They didn't go brown, white, red, but they wiped. [00:24:46] Speaker A: But when you go. When you come out, that mushroom's got, like, a cake of chocolate on it, dude. I just. I can't. Like, that's why I don't do anal. I mean, it just. It just makes me gag. [00:24:59] Speaker B: Like, sorry, I'm way too big for it. So I've just never. [00:25:14] Speaker A: All right. You know, one of the other things I. I thought of is energy. Like, when my daughter's not here, when it's dinner time, if I'm not hungry, I don't eat. [00:25:24] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:25:24] Speaker A: You know, and if I'm hungry and I'm feeling saucy. Yeah. I'm gonna throw some. Some stuff together. But, you know, in my times of, like, now, when I'm kind of just like, oh, you know, I don't have a lot of energy because I'm kind of bummed out. I guess I still have to get up, find a green, find a starch, find a protein, and. And. And, you know, cook it up. You know, I'm not gonna run to. Even when I had a job. I'm just not someone that's gonna constantly run out and get fast food. Like to me it's a waste of money and I think it's poor eating. And so for me it's like, okay, I'm gonna put together something with a protein, a starch and a green to it or. Or two vegetables, you know, so. Yeah, yeah. The, the energy aspect of it. [00:26:15] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, not only does like sleep and I don't think like you're dealing at the ages your daughters are. You're not dealing with the sleep aspect of it as much or maybe you are. I don't know. [00:26:29] Speaker A: I go off of six. I need, I need a minimum of six. [00:26:33] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:26:33] Speaker A: And I'm fine functioning off of six. [00:26:35] Speaker B: Six is okay. I'm not, I'm not whining like a girl at six. Seven is perfect. Eight's too much now. I used to sleep like 12 hours. [00:26:45] Speaker A: Eight nights too much. [00:26:46] Speaker B: Eight feels like I didn't sleep almost. Seven is perfect. Five, I'm a little bit unhappy. And four, I. I'm gonna talk about it at work. I'm gonna let people know. I'm such a four. [00:27:03] Speaker A: I'm gonna say something. [00:27:05] Speaker B: I have to let people know. Yep. Only. How you doing today? Only slept four hours. I'm pissed off. So I don't know, you know, with, with the ages your, your daughters are, you're not like waking up in the middle of the night because they're crying or they need to be changed or anything. So. You know, I don't know if you, you know. [00:27:28] Speaker A: No, but I do. I do have a tendency to wake up usually around two or three every morning. So no matter. Like I'll go to bed at, at 9:30 to get up at 3:30, but if I don't have to go to. If I don't have to be to work till like, let's say you on. On average, I get up at 4am every day. When I have a job. 4am every day seems to be the number. I usually wake up two hours prior to that. And on vacation after six, I wake up anyways the two hours prior to my wake up. Like four hours in to my sleep. When I wake up, I'm a little. It's kind of bothersome, you know. It's been happening a lot lately. Like I'll sleep on the couch and sure enough, 1, 2 in the morning I'm up. Like I'm getting up. But sleeping on the couch for me is just. I don't have a TV in my room for a reason. And so sleeping on the Couch. I'll fall asleep to a game. It kind of keeps me busy. I don't have to sit there and think about things, but I end up staying up later. But then I still just wake up in the middle, you know, about one or two in the morning and. And move myself to the bed. But even still, I just. I don't know, man. But yeah, six hours is my. Is. Is what I would usually go off in a day for sure. [00:28:52] Speaker B: Yeah. So for me, that just kind of affects everything, energy wise. But, you know, when I get home from work, I do feel like, you know, she's excited to see me and, like, wants to play and cuddle and run around and, like, I have to be there for that or. Or I'm just being a piece of shit. Like, that's how I feel. Like, I cannot just, like, go take a shit right now and be by myself for an hour. Like, I have to be with you. You're going to bed in two hours. So, you know, that's. [00:29:32] Speaker A: That's the same way I run. That's how I run my boat. Like, I'm. If we go to the park, like, I'm the dad that's gonna play free stag with you. And it's got to be freestyle. Can't be tagged. Tag first kid you touch is it. You know what I mean? And once you start chasing your kid, other kids are like, can I play? Can I play? And their parents. Their parents don't jump on in. Their parents are like, cool, got a babysitter, you know, and they just stay on their phones. So I play freeze tag because, you know, I. I don't mind running. I have to tag all the kids in order for the last kid to be it. Usually by then, some of the other kids are untagged or they're unfrozen or whatever, you know. The only. The only thing I wish is some of these parents would jump in and be like, hey, he froze you. You can't move. Because some of them, like, you freeze them and they're still running. You're like, no, no, no, dude, either play the game or get the out. You know what I mean? [00:30:25] Speaker B: And their parents don't curse at my child like that. [00:30:30] Speaker A: Well, the parents just like, watch, you know, like. And like, I'll be like, hey, dude, you're frozen. You got to stay there. And as soon as I walk away, they run away. [00:30:37] Speaker B: Hey, you're frozen. [00:30:46] Speaker A: I want to see that song. Yeah. [00:30:48] Speaker B: Did you see that? Like, dog, did you see. Lick that? Did you see that guy in the wife beater with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. He was screaming curse words because the kids wouldn't play freeze tag with him. [00:31:06] Speaker A: It's not that they won't play. They want to play. They just don't know how to play, you know? And then they run out. They'll run all over the park. And I'm like, no, no, no. We're. We're. Our boundaries are. Are this playground area. You can't be running on the grass, on the sidewalk. No, no, no, no. No playground. Sand or wood chips, whatever it is. Those are the boundaries. You go out, you're frozen. Yeah, but I do teach bad habits because I will jump over the side of this damn bridge, you know? I mean, I will climb. I will. I will climb the slide on the outside, you know, like, don't test me, motherfucker. You know what I mean? [00:31:41] Speaker B: God, I would just love it, just love it if the kids didn't really consent to playing this game. You're just chasing them everywhere. [00:31:52] Speaker A: Again, not why I can't get a job, guys. Do you sacrifice. Let me ask you. Do you sacrifice your emotional display, Your display of emotions? Do you sacrifice that? Did you display emotions more when you were by yourself or dating before your kids came around? Like, I do. Like, I won't cry in front of my kids because. Because I feel like I'm putting somewhat of a burden on them. [00:32:20] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, my only experience with that has been anger. I've had to roll back the anger. Cause I'm just very explosive. And I yelled at her one time. [00:32:36] Speaker A: Now, does anger. Does anger run in your family? I didn't think anger ran in your family. [00:32:41] Speaker B: That's a joke, right? Yeah, I fly off the handle pretty easily. I. I screamed at her a couple weeks ago and literally was just like, what the is wrong with you? Like, she's 11 months old. Like, she. It pissed me off, though. It'll actually piss me off if I retell the story right now. She. [00:33:04] Speaker A: I kind of want to hear it, because I'm pretty sure it's about wiping her own ass. [00:33:08] Speaker B: No, it was. She was. I was feeding her one of those puree pouch things, and she started crying, and she pushed it away, and she wanted it back. And I put it back to her mouth, and she didn't sip any of it, and she pushed it away again, and then she wanted it back. She took it, squeezed it, and shook it all over both of us. And I said, God damn it, why did you do that? I'm looking into the eyes of an 11 month old, and I'm screaming, why did you do that just now? And, And I realized, like, God, I really got to reel this in. I cannot be doing that when she's making memories. [00:33:56] Speaker A: So. Yes. Yeah. Like, holds on to some stuff where I'm like, oh, and the crazy thing is remembers it a lot harsher than the reality of it because it felt sure. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You threw that, that cup. And it went every. I was like, it was a solo cup, sweetheart. Like, it wasn't a glass. It didn't, it didn't shatter everywhere like it was a solo cup. [00:34:26] Speaker B: That is so funny. She's framing you. That didn't happen. [00:34:33] Speaker A: In that situation. I think after the second time of her pushing it away, I don't give. I personally, I wouldn't give it back to her. [00:34:43] Speaker B: I think I added one time. [00:34:47] Speaker A: You could cry all you want, but I mean, like, once you push away, you ask it back, and you push away again. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You don't get it. No. And you can cry you want. I'm gonna go ignore you. [00:34:57] Speaker B: Yeah, I agree with that. I, I think I embellished and added one time. Time to the story. I'm pretty sure it was the second time she wanted it back that she shook it. That does, that does sound stupid to give it back to her after all that. [00:35:12] Speaker A: All right, so here's, here's what I. This is. Go for it. [00:35:15] Speaker B: But what, but what but, but you're still not expect. If she pushes it away, you're not expecting her to grab it and shake at me. That was just, it just came from nowhere. [00:35:27] Speaker A: Yeah, that makes sense. But, But I, this is what I do. Say something. I've learned it wasn't how I've always been. You know, like, when my older daughters would spill something, I'd be like, are you, you serious? Like, you know, in almost that tone, like, are you serious? Like, you, like you thought what? I don't like, what are we thinking here now? When, when my youngest spills something, you know, I, I, I, I, I just say just like this. You know what happens when we spill? We clean it up. It wipes right up. It's like there's no crying over spilt milk. Why? Because it cleans right up. Like, I don't care if it spilled. You know, I know that wasn't your intention. Now, your, your little girl. That seemed very intentional. Seemed very intentional. [00:36:19] Speaker B: I want to see. Just because you have so much more experience with kids, if this rings true to you, someone on a podcast, was talking about the public education system and how it's just basically designed to just squash every natural instinct toward learning and creativity. And he said there's two things about kids from the earliest ages, like when they start to walk and talk, and it's. They ask questions about everything. They want to learn everything, incessant questions, and they just want to participate in stuff. So, like, if you don't squash those instincts, then, like, anytime you want them to help out with the dishes, they're stoked. Like, if they're three and you're like, hey, you know, I'm going to clean the dish, you put it all, you know, put it in that slot for me. You know, they're, like, stoked that they get to do, like, an adult thing. Do you. Do you find that to be the case? [00:37:21] Speaker A: In some situations, yeah. Yes. In others, no. You know, some situations is. It's. It's not like that. It's very much. Nah, I'm good. Yeah. [00:37:34] Speaker B: When they get a little older or just always. [00:37:40] Speaker A: It. It depends. Like, my youngest right now is 50. 50, you know, she's kind of like, hey, like, what are you doing? Can. Can, you know, can I do that? Yeah, I would love for you to do that. Like, that's awesome. Depends, man. Like, last night I made buffalo wings with some red lobster cheddar biscuits and. And some brownies for dessert, and she wanted to help mix the brownies. She wanted to help. And. Okay. So I feel like they help more when you encourage more when they do the small things and you're like, dude, that was so awesome. Thank you so much. Like, I know it's not. It's not huge, but, like, that helps so much. They. I feel like it encourages them to want to do more. Want to do more. [00:38:40] Speaker B: Yeah. And they want to. They want to be able to say they helped, you know. [00:38:44] Speaker A: Mm, mm, mm. [00:38:47] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:38:48] Speaker A: Yeah, for sure. [00:38:50] Speaker B: I brought that for a reason. I don't remember why. [00:38:54] Speaker A: It was about a podcaster. [00:38:56] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:38:57] Speaker A: That. His. The schooling. [00:38:59] Speaker B: Yeah, no, I remember all that. I don't remember why I brought that up. [00:39:04] Speaker A: Well, while you think about it, one of the biggest sacrifices I've had to make in this last three months is day drinking. I've realized. [00:39:16] Speaker B: You finally started pick her up. [00:39:18] Speaker A: Yeah, I got to pick her up from school, and I can't just be showing up willy nilly drunk, so I kind of have to wait, you know, like, when I don't have her, my week off. By all means, start drinking when you wake up. But on the days I have her. [00:39:33] Speaker B: Well, hold on now. I mean, but the. [00:39:41] Speaker A: But the days I have her, I gotta wait till 3:00. [00:39:44] Speaker B: Oh, my God. What a. What a sacrifice. What are you. What are you drinking at 3 o'clock? [00:39:56] Speaker A: Usually a red wine. I mean, I. I have. I have. I have my drinks for certain occasions. So if I'm going out to a bar, it's always whiskey neat. If I'm going out to the pool, it's whatever beer anybody else buys. Or if I'm buying beer, whatever. Anybody else want ones? I really don't care, but beer in a can seems to work. If I'm at home and I'm cooking, it's usually red wine. I don't do whiskey at home because, whoo, I could throw those neats back all day in about the. When I go out, they're usually divided by a water. They're usually, you know, enjoyed. If I'm drinking whiskey at home, there's. This is not for enjoyment purposes. This is for. We got a goal. And the sooner I reach the goal, sooner I'm done with my day. [00:40:53] Speaker B: This is a blood sport. [00:40:57] Speaker A: Yeah. Are you entertained? [00:40:58] Speaker B: That is an alarming statement that you just made, and I'm sick of pretending it wasn't. [00:41:09] Speaker A: Now, mind you, I've only had two or three days where I'm like, I want to drink right now. But they've always been days when I have her, and I'm like, well, looks like you can't drink till about 3. But, yeah, no, I really don't. I really don't give into drinking or anything like that if I'm. I don't let that kind of. I don't let that kind of behavior birth because I know how crazy it could probably get, and I don't want it to get crazy. [00:41:41] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. On. On the subject of sacrifices, two things always come to mind about you. [00:41:53] Speaker A: Virgins. Oh. Oh. Sacrificing for children. [00:42:00] Speaker B: Four children. Children. [00:42:06] Speaker A: The harvest in general. I was like fire and virgin with you. [00:42:13] Speaker B: With you. Tiki heads get you ripping hearts right out of the chest. Now when I remember, it's so crazy that I remember this because it's so long ago. And like, yeah, I don't know, maybe it's not that crazy. I was having a weird head thought just now, but I remember when they made the announcement at church and they brought you and you and your ex. I was trying to think. I was gonna insert a name. I was like, no, you know what? It would be hilarious to call her the Slag. But it's so disrespectful. Like, I can't. I can't do that. That. That lovely woman you were married to, they brought you up, and you announced that you were gonna take in four kids, your cousin's kids, when. When she went to jail, and you didn't want to split the kids up, so you guys just took all of them in, you know, and I. I ended up being really good friends with one of them. So it's. It's, you know, weird that that announcement, you know, sticks in my mind. But that was, you know, life changing. I think that's around the time you guys moved into the house, right? [00:43:41] Speaker A: We had to get the house to get them. Yeah. [00:43:43] Speaker B: Okay. I thought. I thought that's what it was. And, you know, they turned your lives upside down, you know, even if they didn't mean to, you know, and you had more than just the kids that you guys had had together, you know, until Jay left for the Air Force. So, you know, that. That changed like the next at least 10 years, almost 10 years for you guys. And that affected everything, including living situation. And the other time I think of is when you guys first broke up and you were just given all of your money over to her to take care of the kids before you worked out, like, you know, co parenting, custody stuff. And you were just, I mean, living off, like, top of ramen and like, living with no furniture because you were sending your entire paycheck over to her for the kids. You know, those. Those are two things that always come to mind when I think about sacrifices for kids. And they're extreme. Sure. They're not. [00:45:01] Speaker A: They are. I would say this. Chia seeds are not your friend. You know, when you think. When you think, yeah, I could do it off a top ramen and chia seeds. Chia seeds will clean your out. Like, they will clean it out. They, like, they will punch you in your stomach mid afternoon, and you're just on the toilet spin spewing chia seeds and. And just straight liquid out your out. [00:45:31] Speaker B: Your ass, just praying you get home. [00:45:35] Speaker A: Mm, no, the kids were a blessing. They were. They were a blessing. And, you know, it's bittersweet, I guess. Blessing and curse, they brought a lot of hardship, you know. You know, the youngest one stole our rent about two or three times. [00:45:53] Speaker B: Didn't know that. [00:45:54] Speaker A: You know, the young, the. All of them, except for the one you became friends with, end up moving out and kind of doing their own thing, you know, went back to their mom. The youngest boy ended up getting into, you Know, drugs and gangs. When he went back to his mother, the oldest daughter went and, you know, end up getting with some abusive guy. You know, the shitty part about it is I was grateful that we had a part in their life, you know, and they still want to be a part of our lives. I don't want none of it. Like, you guys aren't good people, you know, like, you guys have done nothing but take our information and then just go scatter amongst the family that we don't talk to anymore, you know, including the oldest boy that you're friends with. You know, like when things were cooling out in our divorce, he went and started. He, he came to me and was like, hey, I have to tell you, she hit on me so much. Made me feel so weird. She asked me about, you know, what I thought, her breasts, you know, if I liked her breast, if I thought they looked good. And you know, she sat on my lap a lot and, you know, it just made me feel awkward. And then she would, he would turn around and he would call her and tell her, and I'm like, what are you doing, bro? Like, you're just causing division in a divorce that's already kind of hectic, like. And I just kind of wrote him off. I said, you know, don't, you know, just do me a favor, don't call me no more, bro. Like, you're the one who offered up this information to me. I didn't go and ask for it. I didn't, I didn't tell you I want it. And then now you're going to turn around. So my daughters and my ex wife that I'm the one who spewed all this, like, you're pretty sick, dude. You know, people ask like, wow, you're a dad of four daughters. And you know, they'll, they'll find out I have foster kids and they're like, did you gave any boys? I'm like, yeah, but they all threw like girls. And it's funny because we'll watch, like, we watch, we'll watch like reality shows. Me and, me and number three will watch reality shows and, and we'll see people that were like in the military. And it's always, it's always weird to see what military branch they're in because like, you'll see people from the air Force, like, I'm afraid of heights or, you know, I've never done this. And they get all freaked out and she's like, yeah, that makes sense. Because if you met my brother, like, he, he, I mean, like, he Would break down. And he lived out here with us for about seven weeks. I mean, I think I told you the story. [00:48:33] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:48:33] Speaker A: Came home, he left the military, came back with his family of four, said he'd only be with us for two weeks, end up staying for seven. I'm like, dude, I got a full house. I got four daughters. You come with your family of four? I also got another foster son in the house. So, you know, there's. There's all these people here. It's Covid, like, you got to get the fuck out. And he's like, well, you know, I've just been, you know, working since I was 17. I figured I deserved a vacation. So you're doing that on my dime. Like, on my dime. You're taking your vacation. It's not like you're taking a legit vacation. You're. You're. You're not contributing at my house, and you're just trying to live off of, like, for reals, you. You said two weeks. It's going on seven. You got to do something. This kid would go to fries, and I don't know what it is about the dairy aisle, but he had anxiety attacks in the dairy aisle to the point where he would curl up into a ball on the floor, and his wife would have to cuddle him. [00:49:40] Speaker B: Really? [00:49:42] Speaker A: Yeah. And he would voice this when he came home, like, oh, I had an anxiety attack. And, you know, like, I just. I didn't know what to do, and I just kind of, like, broke down and, you know, like, I forget his even wife's name. But, you know, she would have to, like, come around me and, like, hold me, and I'm like, dude, I would walk it, like, in my mind. I'm like, as your wife, I'd walk away from you. Like, I'd be like, I don't know this, dude. [00:50:06] Speaker B: Never let myself do that. [00:50:09] Speaker A: You're acting. Yeah, you're acting like you saw war, bro. Like. [00:50:14] Speaker B: Like, look, and maybe. Maybe I cut this out of the episode. I don't know. But we had a couple weird things, like, a year ago. Like, a couple just weird fights, like, back to back, where he basically said he didn't want to talk to me anymore and just, like, cut me off and come to find out, like, oh, he just stopped taking his medication out of nowhere. As if that's not gonna fuck with your brain, you know? And he just heard texting me crazy shit. Like, he sent me, like, a picture of his feet, like, under his desk, and he's, like, trying to show me something. Under the desk. And that text is, like, sandwiched between, like, hey, I don't know if I want to talk to you anymore. And like, hey, what's going on? What's up? Like, you haven't been texting me. You know, like, he was going nuts, dude. And, and when we really finally had it out, you know, he was complaining. You know, he was saying, like, I didn't support his decision to go into the military. True. And then in the same text, he's like, yeah, you know, like, I've got a lot of PTSD from basic training and stuff. And, like, you know, I, I'm, like, mentally dealing with things, you know, how I can. And so I just responded. I was like, yeah, well, I, I think I was right to question your choice to go in the military. If you got PTSD from basic training, like I told you, it would you up. And it did, you know. [00:51:44] Speaker A: So anyways, basic training, of all things. [00:51:47] Speaker B: Dude, I get it. He was. When we went to his graduation, he was up. It was crazy. He was nervous, shaking, calling me sir. He was. If I held the door open for him, he'd be like, oh, thank you, sir. Thank you. He's. He's. Do you remember the hat? Do you remember his hat? From his nose? The whole time, he was always putting two fingers and making sure it was straight. He thought people were following us. [00:52:15] Speaker A: I, I, yeah, but I think, I think that's, that's, you know, because I remember him doing that stuff, and I'm like, oh, he's just trying to show us he's a man now. And, like, he's got some. [00:52:26] Speaker B: I didn't read that at all. I thought he was scared. [00:52:31] Speaker A: Yeah, but he's. He's always been scared, dude. I mean, he's always just been a big, like, you keep all the. Don't even edit my out. You got your little story out. Don't edit my out. [00:52:42] Speaker B: It's the pseudonyms podcast. We leave it all in, dude. [00:52:46] Speaker A: Yeah, Mean, the kid was just, you know, again, like, when people say, like, well, you. You adopted boys, so it's kind of like you had your sons. And I'm like, nah, my every one of my daughters could have beat up any one of my. My foster sons, you know? I mean, like, you take the youngest of my daughter. She handled my. My oldest foster son. Be like, again, like, when you come home from the grocery store, you're like, I had to break down the dairy aisle. And I'm like, but what happened? He's like, I just like, I, you know, there's so many decisions. Yeah, there's a couple different brands, but if you know you want 2%, just grab the fucking. Just grab any 2%, bro. Just fucking move along. But there's people there, and people are all looking, and I feel like they're waiting on me. And I just had a breakdown, and I'm like. And I don't know her name, Rowena, whatever her fucking name is. [00:53:40] Speaker B: I'm not going to say it on the podcast. It's hilarious that you are pretending not to know the name. [00:53:47] Speaker A: I don't know her name. Oh, thank you. [00:53:55] Speaker B: Oh, thanks. You dick. [00:53:59] Speaker A: Serious? I thought it started with an R. I was like, man, what is it? [00:54:03] Speaker B: Rwanda? [00:54:04] Speaker A: Roulad Ronda, Looks like. I really did think it was Rwanda. And so I'm thinking like, she. She held you? And he's like, yeah, like, she just cuddled me. Like, she spooned me basically in. In. In the aisle. And I'm like, I would have walked away. Like, I can't deal with this. Like, I need a. I need a man. I need a man. Like. Like, oh, how embarrassing is that? [00:54:34] Speaker B: Dude, I couldn't dare you. [00:54:36] Speaker A: This is what. [00:54:37] Speaker B: This is. [00:54:37] Speaker A: Who's protecting our country? [00:54:42] Speaker B: I. [00:54:43] Speaker A: Secret weapon. [00:54:44] Speaker B: Yeah. You know, you can put scare quotes around protecting. [00:54:50] Speaker A: Yeah, put scare quotes. Because if the Taliban comes with the dairy aisle on their ships or on. They hit us with some milk, are we done? Are we like, is that what's going on? You know? [00:55:02] Speaker B: Do you. I worked at my previous job, I worked with a chick who was heavily medicated, and she had some pretty bad depression issues, and if she missed a dose of medication, she was off for a week, and, you know, she just wouldn't show up. And. And she'd be crying in her office all day, and it was a mess. And she was a cool chick when she kept it together, but, man, there were just some days where I was just like, thank God for the mental issues I have, because I don't know if I could cope if I was that fucked up. Like, if I couldn't get off my medication without crying for a week in my office. I just don't know how I deal with that, you know? [00:55:54] Speaker A: My daughter asked me about medication. What's your stance on it? I said, if you need it for a little bit, sure. I said, but I think there's holistic waste to everything. I think. I think we are so processed food and so misguided with media and with different things that we. We're never going to get out of certain things, you know? And I, I, I. You know, I was listening to Sean Ryan's show today, and I was listening to, like, last week's podcast, but it was about a guy who talks about, like, basically the health care. It's meant to keep you sick. It's, it's like cars, you know, like, they don't build cars now for a lifetime. They build cars so that you're going to need a new one in, you know, five, 10 years. They don't build them to last forever for a reason, because they, they have to keep, they have to keep generating money. And so, you know, like, when I think, you know, people go on medications, they don't realize that it's deteriorating your joints. You don't realize it's tearing you up on the inside. Yeah, it's alleviating that one thing, but it's causing so many more issues. You know, it's like when you stop exercising, you lose muscle mass. And so, you know, like the guy was saying today, he said, you know, people think, oh, she fell and broke her hip. No, she fell because she broke her hip. She didn't fall and then broke her hip. Her hip can no longer sustain her weight because she doesn't exercise, she doesn't walk. 15 minutes a day, 3 times 15 minutes a day. He said, does a lot. He said, there's, there's none of that. And so a lot of the industry that's built to, to heal us is actually, you know, doing the opposite. It's, it's, it's creating more, more issues for us to have to be more dependent on them. [00:57:53] Speaker B: Yeah, well, I'm hearing that SSRIs, if you take them for more than three years, are, like, proving to, like, damage your brain more. And, like, what's the inhibit your, your ability to produce serotonin and stuff. So, like, the longer you take them, the more dependent on them you are. And Dave Smith said this that just, it was so simple that it, like, blew my mind that I hadn't thought of it before. But he was like, they claim SSRIs are the cure to depression. And in the last, like, 20 years, it's ballooned to the point where, like, half of everyone I know is on an ssri. And there's. [00:58:37] Speaker A: What does SSRI stand for? [00:58:39] Speaker B: Serotonin, something uptake inhibitor. It's, it's basically an antidepressant. And it's like everyone's on an SSRI now and everyone's depressed. So it wasn't the cure to depression. There's more depressed people than ever. And there's more people than ever on the. On these medications. So, like, it's not curing shit. It's. If anything, it looks like it's making it worse. And. [00:59:07] Speaker A: So during one of my suicide attempts, I went to the doctors the following day, and they put me in antidepressants. They were like, you know, you might need some antidepressants. I said, okay, cool. I remember the first week of being on these antidepressants, I got upset with someone. Not gonna say names, mind you. I have a story to tell you about her. Not gonna say names. But her response was, have you taken your antidepressant today? And I was like, okay, so let me get this right. I can't have an emotion anymore without someone questioning if I've taken my pill. [00:59:48] Speaker B: Your emotions make you a monster, and we're trying to make sure that you don't feel those anymore. I mean, that's basically what she was saying, right? [00:59:59] Speaker A: Yeah. So I was like. And I. I made this. I made the choice right then and there, not taking these ever again. Like, you're. I'm done taking them. The fact that someone has to ask me if I've taken a pill because I've had an emotion, I'm done taking them. So hear me out. I'm struggling right now, right? I'm struggling with. With not having work. And so it was 11:00 Monday night, two nights ago. I'm driving my daughter's boyfriend home because it was raining, and I don't let her drive. I don't want her driving in the rain at night. If I have an option, take him home, I will. Will. And I was taking him home because his car, his brother was using his car on the way home. I just get really, like. I'd say it's depressed. It was just this overwhelming feeling of I'm here again. Like, here I am again. You know, like, here I am again. And I'm like, I don't want to call a dude from church. It's 11 o'clock. It's 11:30 at night. Not gonna wake somebody up just to be like, hey, I'm not on the ledge, but try and walk me off of it just in case. But, you know, I'm just. I know I'm not gonna do anything stupid. I'm just kind of wanting to vent to someone. So I text my ex and I'm like, hey, are you up? We talk for a good two or three hours, like two and a half hours. And during that conversation, she's like, you know, 90% of the time, I trust when my kids are with you, but, like, when you're. That 10% is when you're around your family. And, you know, I just don't want nobody talking about me to my kids. And I said, no one's gonna talk about you to. To your kids. Yeah, I've made that very clear. Even when we first separated, they're not allowed to talk negative about you. In light of my children, do I really want them talking about you at all? No, don't really care to hear it myself. And she's like, well, I don't want anybody calling me crusty in front of my kids. I said, first of all, we don't call you crusty in front of the kids. That's a name we use when the kids are not around. So don't think. Don't think that we're saying that in front of the kids. But yeah. And then she's like, well, you know, like, you know, I just want to be talking. I'm like, get off your high horse. Nobody cares to. To talk about you like you're old news. Honestly, like, I'm not trying to be a dick, but you're old news. [01:02:20] Speaker B: See somebody else pulling in. It's all they're talking about. It's all they're talking about over there. [01:02:28] Speaker A: It was so hard not to talk about my Hispanic girlfriend. It was so hard because, like, that's one girl. Like, honestly, I would probably change a lot to win back. You know what I mean? Like, I would. I would actually. I would actually go to certain behavior therapist to get her back, but it just. It just wasn't working out. I mean, she just pushed a couple buttons that, like, she would say, like, so, for instance, Robert's wife was coming into town, and we've been. We've been friends as couples for 15 years. They're divorced now. We're divorced now. She's coming down into town with her kids, and she like, hey, I'd love to, like, have you guys over, like, let our kids play. I was like, cool, can I bring my girl? She was like, yeah. I was like, she's got kids, too, so this would be cool. Well, my girl's kids got the flu, like the Friday we're supposed to go. And I'm like, well, this is kind of late notice. Like, I'm still going to go. But I called her from there, like, several times to check in, you know, like, hey, this is how the night's going. Just, like, wanting to touch base with you and. And so, like, the next time I'm at her place, she goes, oh, my friend's coming into town from Mexico. And I'm like, oh, cool. And she's like, I'm gonna. I'm gonna, like, kick back at his. His place this weekend. I'm like, all right, cool. And she's like, that doesn't bother you? And I'm like, no, you said he's your friend. Like, it doesn't bother me. And she's like, that doesn't. Like, you don't get upset. I'm like, I don't. Let's just be clear. I don't trust any male around my female. What my. Where my trust is. My trust is in my female, you know, like my partner. My trust is in my partner. It's not in the guy or the people in her sphere. It's. It's in my partner. So if you're making the judgment call that he is a good enough friend for you to want to go see and spend a weekend with. Cool. I trust you. Oh, she would. And. And so then, like, a couple minutes goes by, and I'm like, okay, well, you know, I was gonna make plans this weekend. And she goes, well, what do you want to do? And I was like, aren't you going to your guys, like, your friend's house? And she's like, no, I just wanted to see if that would make you jealous. And I was like, that don't work. That don't work for me. That don't work for me. It's such a Mexican thing. [01:04:46] Speaker B: My ex girlfriend, who was Mexican. Mexican. I, I, one day, I finally got her to admit that she starts fights for fun. [01:04:56] Speaker A: Yeah, that was my thing with her. Like, she would. She would say things that would, like, poke at me to get a response. And I'm like, why do you. Why do you do that stuff? Like, do you want to argue? [01:05:07] Speaker B: It's. It's what they grow up with, dude. Her. That. That chick, particularly. Her parents did not speak to each other the entire time we were together for two years. They slept in the same bed, did not speak to each other. They just had some fight and just never let it go. [01:05:29] Speaker A: So. So circling back around to what. What we started on, I've. I've had. I. I talked to a friend of mine constantly about her kids. You know, we were talking about the podcast. We're talking about our journaling stuff, and she. She's actually going to be working it out with her ex husband. And I was like, that's awesome, because they've been hanging out more. And I was telling her that you're challenged to me on my journaling. And she goes, you know, I'm glad you brought that up. Me and my ex have been hanging out, and I think we're gonna try and work it out. I'm like, dude, that's awesome. Like, good for you. Like, that's. That's great. And she goes, you know, I just don't know if I want to move to North Phoenix because the schools are locked harder. I got to find a special school for my middle child who, you know, wants to transition into, like, female. But. And she started referring to him as he. Now, mind you, this is like, the first time she's done that because she's always referred to him as her daughter. And she goes, you know, what. What advice do you have? And I said, well, first of all, I would have never encouraged it in the beginning. Beginning as you did. I would have never encouraged, you know, him, her. I said, but, you know, and I don't wish this upon your son at all. I hope he. He never goes through this. I said, but there's a good likelihood he's going to have some mental struggles and some thoughts of suicide because he's got a rough road ahead of him. Like, you're trying to find a public school that's going to allow a boy to go into a female restroom. Especially now under the trust Trump of the. The Trump administration, that's like, hey, there's only two genders. And you're trying to, like, allow your son, who you've encouraged, to take a female, you know, kind of attitude and. And dress and. And name, like I said. So if I were you, I would more or less encourage him that he could be a flamboyant, feminine male, but I wouldn't encourage the female thing anymore. I would have him dress in boy clothes. I would have him try and be around a male figure that's going to pour into him. I said, but at the end of the day, you need to sit with him and let him. No matter. No matter what road he takes, you will always love him and you will always be there for him. Because it's going to get rough. Especially if this is the road he wants to take. He's going to come around, especially in downtown Phoenix or in Phoenix, you're. He's going to be around guys who are gang members, and they don't think that that shit's cute at all, and they're going to degrade him. They're going to make it rough on him. He's going to be an easy target. And with all that comes thoughts of suicide. And so you really need to, as a mom, be there for him and let him know that you're there for him no matter what road he takes. Because, because ultimately his life is more precious than the decision he's going to make. However, I would have never encouraged it, so it would have never gotten to this point. But now that you're at this point, you're at a crossroad and you need to figure out what you're going to do. And I don't know what that is. [01:08:30] Speaker B: Yeah, that is. [01:08:31] Speaker A: So with that, that's nuts. Well, with that I say come to parenting because she, she admitted, you know, she's like, well, me and my ex, we only broke up because I wanted to kind of live life. I wanted to do my thing. I wanted to go like ghost, go experience, you know, sexual relationships and stuff. And it was like, okay. And I feel like that's kind of how she parents at times. Like, why she takes so many trips, why she takes. Because she, she, she struggles with being a full time parent, you know, especially a single mom. Now she's like, I got them all the time. You at least have your daughter one, one week off, one week on. I didn't mind having my kids all the time. I really didn't. Like, I hated when me and my wife would be in the garage and my kids would come out and my wife would be like, dude, me and your dad can't even have a time alone. And I'm like, you're making them feel like a burden. They're not a burden. Like, we chose them, we chose to have them. And now you're like trying to escape them. Well, I'm with them all day. That's fine. Go do your. I'm not with them all day. I want him in my presence. You know, I want him out here in the garage. But because, you know, we wanted to smoke weed or whatever or hang out a little bit, she was, she would always be the one to say that. And I never pointed it out to my kids. But in the young adults group that we, that I taught last week and I, I kind of brought it up nonchalantly of, you know, parents will make their kids feel like a burden and kids are not a burden. I've never felt like kids were a burden. But with that, as a parent, you have to have, you have to have intentionality. You have to have, you have to be intentional. Like, you have to understand this is your life. You made this decision, you kept the kids, you didn't give them up for adoption. You have an abortion, you had them. This is your life. And it's a great opportunity to invest into somebody that legitimately wants to be in your presence. Unless you don't want to be in theirs. By all means, it will come a time where they don't want to be in yours. But kids like, they, they don't, they love their parents more than anything initially, when they're good parents. Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about abusive parents, but I'm talking about like, parents that have kids that, you know, maybe it's a struggle or whatnot, you know, but in general, you're a good person. And I say that loosely because none are good. But you know, like with her where she's just like, ah, like you guys, you know, her brother also, week on, week off, you know, she's like, you guys don't understand, you know, and it's like, I would give anything to be around my kids every week. I would give anything because my kids, although I don't have the same relationship to them as best friends, they are my most favorite people in the world. Be around are my kids. They play games. You know, they're, they're like, we, we're, we can talk about stuff. Like, I love being around my kids. And so one of the things that I usually tell parents is until my kids are about 11 or 12, I'm their parent. That's when I disciplined, that's when they face the wall. I don't need to lay hands on them if I'm gonna, if I'm gonna smack them or spank them, I don't need to go full force. Just a, just a little tap in the lips when they back talk. Their mom is enough. Just a little smack on the hand when they smack someone. Now, mind you, it's got to hurt a little bit, but I mean, it doesn't have to be a full fledged, you know, whooping. They still sense the disappointment that you have in them and still get hurt. But once they hit 12, 11, 12, 13, I transitioned from parent to coach. That's when they start getting the disrespectfulness, that's when they start lying, that's when they start trying to do things. And at that point I, I transition into coach, you know, like, hey, like, I remember when number three moved in with me after the separation and she's like, I'm gonna go kick it with my boyfriend and, and, and all his friends and I Said, look, I. I'm assuming there's going to be drinking there. I'm sure you're not going to be honest with me because you're afraid I'll tell you no, that you can't go. I said, but here's the thing. You need to be fully honest with me because I'm the dude that's going to get you out. I'm the dude that's going to be there when shit happens. I'm the guy that's going to show up when, when you're afraid your friends, there's a good chance they're going to leave you in the dust. I'm the guy that you call. You can guarantee I will be there. So if you're going to go to a drinking party, just understand, you get your own drinks. You don't let anybody else get your drinks. You don't let your drink leave your site. If you turn away from your drink, your hand goes over it. So that way no one could put anything in it. Like, and if the cops show up or if anything happens, you're too drunk to drive, call me. You won't get in trouble, but just know I'm there with you. Like, I. I got your back. You're not going to get in trouble. I understand you're at this age, and I just rather have you be honest with me and full, like, fully forward with me than for me to have to find out in a negative aspect you get pulled over. Now, mind you, my ex didn't take this same route with, with. With my second one. And my second one got a DUI before she was even 18. [01:13:56] Speaker B: Yikes. [01:13:59] Speaker A: And still has to blow into her car for three years to start that. Yeah, I've heard. [01:14:06] Speaker B: It's not. [01:14:07] Speaker A: I get in her car and I'm like, oh, you got a dash cam? She goes, no, that's the camera that monitors me blowing into my. Blowing into my. My function to start my car. I'm like, man, you're a loser. [01:14:22] Speaker B: That's sad. Don't. Don't call her a loser. I mean, you're right. [01:14:27] Speaker A: We laugh. You're right. [01:14:28] Speaker B: But, like, don't say it. [01:14:32] Speaker A: I probably said it three or four times on Thanksgiving, man. It was so funny. Because if the car's running and she's not driving, she has to blow into it every 20, 20 minutes. And I'm like, are you serious? She's, yeah, I gotta pull up. Hold on. Mind you, she's smoking weed in the car at this time. Like, she's sitting out front trying to be respectful and smoking weed in her car. And I'm like, she's. I'm like, dude, your mom's making gravy. Just come inside. You know, your mom thought you might want to learn. She's like, I do. She's like, but hold on, I gotta blow in my car. And I'm like, are you serious? Like, you have to. I'm like, man, oh my gosh, man, it was, it was, it was sad, man. It was sad, but funny. [01:15:12] Speaker B: Did I tell you the story about the. The car that caught on fire outside my pastor's house while we were having cigar night? [01:15:23] Speaker A: No. [01:15:23] Speaker B: Okay, that must have been someone else. [01:15:25] Speaker A: Where was this at? [01:15:25] Speaker B: This was in Rancho rsm, so I'm trying to try to keep it pseudonymous. So we're having cigar night and we're in the backyard. There's like eight of us. Nine. Two cops are with us. And we hear this. [01:15:53] Speaker A: Hold on. Give me abbreviations of the church. [01:15:55] Speaker B: Kx. [01:15:59] Speaker A: Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah, okay. [01:16:02] Speaker B: You know, one of the cops, you used to be neighbors with one of the cops. And we hear this like, I guess an explosion is what it sounded like. It was a pop. And then just this grinding sound. And we hear it just like circle around the neighborhood and then, and then it just stops. And we're all looking at each other like, well, that's weird. What's going on there? And then like 10, 15 seconds later, Pastor's wife runs outside. She's like, there's a car on fire out in the street. And we're like, ah, we probably should have like gone out to see what that was, you know? So we all run out there. My one friend, like grabs a garden hose and starts hosing off the car. People are grabbing fire extinguishers. What the fuck happened? This car is just sitting in the middle of the street on fire. Come to find out the. It's. It's like a Porsche too. It's a nice car. Come to find out, the 18 year old kid was drunk driving his dad's car home and hit something out on Antonio Parkway. Then was close enough to home that he just, just forced the car on fire down the street, parked in front of his house and ran inside. And so some of the guys who were with us who live in this neighborhood, they were, they had some kind of beef with this kid already. He was already kind of trouble. So they, the dad comes out and they're starting to have words and I'm like, I remember like standing strategically because they were far apart from each other. But they were talking. So like I kind of just like, like I was looking at the fire damage on the car but like stepped between them just like, hey, you're not gonna fuck with my friend. You know, it's like it's a 55 year old man. It's so hilarious. I was like, don't talk to my friend that way. That's crazy. And, and so they're, they're calling the cops and the cops are showing up and the dad's just like, I don't know, haven't seen him. Oh no, he's inside, he's been home all night. I don't know, you know, and they're towing the car away and, and like at the time everyone was like, oh, that piece of, like he should, you know, his kid's going to kill someone. Like he's got to show, you know, discipline. He's got to like that kid needs to be arrested, you know, all this stuff. And now I'm just like not, my kid's not going to jail. I don't give a what he did. Like if I, if I have the opportunity to protect them and keep them out of jail, they're not going to jail. [01:18:50] Speaker A: I, I, I somewhat agree to that. We have a, we have a little group of hooligans. It's funny because they're all rich Mormon kids out here in Queen Creek and they're called the Gilbert Goons. And yeah, that's such a white gig, babe. You know what I mean? [01:19:14] Speaker B: It's you guys the Chandler Crackers. [01:19:20] Speaker A: Yeah, so, so they go around, you know, you know, in and out's open till 1 1am or whatnot. And so a lot of kids will go to in and out midnight hang out. They'll go to different in and outs and beat the out of kids and videotape it and they end up killing a kid out here. And one of the dads finds out about it and like totally sends his kid up north because like his kid had like wounds from beating the out of this kid. Sends a kid up north and like totally goes behind the scenes, starts plotting all this stuff with lawyers getting there, getting his game plan ready and all this stuff. Well, meantime he's bringing in his secretary to record all these like meetings and stuff, you know, without having her sign any NDA or like shutting around, no promotion. So she goes and turns around, tells cops like, hey, like this dude, this is what he's doing, dude. There was probably like 10, 15 kids out here that got picked up for. And they were recorded to put it on, like their little, little YouTube channel of how they would with all these kids and, you know, fight them and, you know, but they weren't fighting. It was, they were like jumping these kids, man. I mean, parents do go to extreme, but I don't know, man. I, I, like my kid does wrong. I, I, I, I correct it, you know, Like, I hear, I hear my fourth one, talk to her girlfriend on the phone on, on her tablet while they're playing Roblox. And she'll say some like, you know, you can't do that and you shouldn't be doing that. And, and I'm like, whoa, whoa, what's going on? Why, why are you talking to her like that? What'd she do? You know, like, don't, don't, don, don't be doing that. Like, I think again, intentionality as a parent, you know, they could be my problem now or they could be society's problem later. It's, you know, it's, it's really harsh because there's so many lazy parents that would rather their kids be society's problem later than their problem now. [01:21:29] Speaker B: Yeah, that's different. Like, murder is definitely in a different category there. [01:21:36] Speaker A: Oh, you're, you, that's, that's where you draw the line. [01:21:39] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. Rape and murder is definitely its own thing. In the, in the Porsche example, nothing got fucked up but my Porsche. I decide what happens to this kid now. You know, he didn't kill anyone, I don't think. I don't know. I haven't gone out to Antonio Parkway to see what he hits. No, he hit, he hit like one of those big metal boxes. It couldn't have been the electricity because we kept, we still had electricity out there. So I don't know what it was, but. [01:22:16] Speaker A: Yeah, it had to be a telephone box. [01:22:18] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [01:22:18] Speaker A: Communications box. Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:22:23] Speaker B: But anyways, yeah, I don't know. That's just to. [01:22:27] Speaker A: So back, back to what I was saying. At 11 or 12, I go from, I'm parent, I'm disciplinary parent until 11 or 12. From 12 to about 18, I'm your coach. You tell me everything, I'll guide you through life. Take my advice or not, but I'm still going to try. And I'm going to try and coach you through life because you're at an age where you're going to go to this kickback whether I say okay or not. You're just going to camouflage it. Next time you might not make this one, but your next one you're going to say you're going to your friend's house. Hey, I'm just going to go in a study group, you know, and. And then you're going to text me later, hey, is it cool if I spend the night at so and so's house? And I'm not going to know where you're at or anything because you're going to be lying about all of it. So I go to coach, and then at 18, by all means, we could be friends. We could be all the friends you want. [01:23:18] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. I'm. I'm looking forward to her getting to an age where I can have that kind of reason with her and she can kind of wrap her mind around, you know, making her own decisions and being honest. [01:23:35] Speaker A: And here's the thing, though, dude. I. I've talked to. I've always talked to my kids. No matter what their age, as an adult, they're going to ask the questions. You know what I mean? If I'm gonna say some words that you're not gonna understand, you're gonna say, what does that mean? Okay, cool, let's talk about that. And that's the great thing about number four is, like, we'll have conversations. She's like, so what does that mean? You know? And I'm like, well, you know, that means you. You know, like, that means this. So that means that. I can't find an example. But it was just the other day, she said. So I said. I said a word, and she was like, well, what does that mean? And it was. And it challenges me because I got to find a way to dumb down that word, you know? But I'm never going to talk to them like their children, because outside of them being a child, no one else is going to be talking to them like that. [01:24:22] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:24:22] Speaker A: You know, and so I talk to them like I would talk to any human being. You know, There was an instance, like, I just pulled into the. To my driveway and. Or my. My. My garage, and I got a. An email that said, you know, $100 got spent on Roblox. And I was like, oh, $100 just got spent on Roblox. So I go to the sitter's house, I pick her up, and I said, hey, I'm at the sitter's house, because I just got it. So I walk in, I say, hey, you spend $100 on Roblox. She goes, no. Oh, I said, you didn't spend a hundred dollars on Roblox? She goes, no, I promise I didn't spend 100 on Roblox. Like, you check. I'm like, okay. And the sitter's kind of looking at me like that. Spent a hundred dollars on Roblox. And so, dad, are. [01:25:18] Speaker B: Dad, are you sure you didn't spend a hundred dollars on Roblox? [01:25:24] Speaker A: So I get her. I get her home, and I sit her down. I say, hey, look, I'm gonna ask you one last time, and I want you to know the repercussions of if you didn't spend 100 on a Roblox. Hundred dollars on Roblox. There's a lot of steps I have to take. I have to discontinue my card on Roblox. I have to call it in stolen. I have to, like, report fraud. Like, I have to do a lot of stuff. That is a lot of work on my end. If you spend 100 on Roblox, we can replace the money. But I need to know, was it you or what? Was it not you? And she goes, I did spend 100 on Roblox. I said, okay, why did you lie to me? Down. Yeah. Yeah. So I said, why did you lie downstairs? And she was like, sit her list below me. She's like, so I didn't want to get in trouble. I said, here's the thing. The only thing we have is trust. I've never lied to you. There have been some hard conversations I've had to have with you. You've asked why the divorce took place. You've asked some certain questions. And I've never lied to you ever. Because I respect you like that. I respect you enough to give you the honest truth because you're my daughter and I love you that much that I owe you the truth. The fact that you've lied to me makes me think now that you. Now I know you're capable of lying to me. And now I have to question everything you say. And it really breaks my heart more than anything else that you lied to me. Like, honestly. Like, above all, it sucks that the person that I favor most in this world sat and lied to me. My face, like, just, it. It sucked. I did punish her in the sense of, you can. You can't go on your tablet. You can't go on your phone for the day. But I definitely set her down and was like, understand, like, once you start lying to me, a lot of privileges go out the door. I work on trust only. You're very. If you tell me the truth, you. You won't get in trouble. You'll never get in trouble for telling me the truth. You. We might have A conversation about it, but you're not going to get punished when you tell me the truth. We can work with the truth. We can't work with lies. And so, you know, that was. She was seven at the time. But, yeah, I. I've always talked to them like they're adults, Straightforward to their face. I'm not gonna lie to you. You, I expect the same respect. Don't lie to me. [01:28:05] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:28:07] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:28:08] Speaker B: And I think they. They can handle a lot more than adults think most of the time. And there are certain things they need to be shielded from. But, like, I think that kind of openness and honesty goes a long way. [01:28:27] Speaker A: I definitely think shielding them is. Is. Is important. But at the same time, there comes a point where that shielding didn't cover a certain area of their. Of their mind or their body. You know, for instance, I was talking to my ex, and I said, yeah, we had a play date with Gianna the other day. And, you know, after the play date, I said, hey, so, like, is Giana, like, a really good friend of yours? And she's like, gianna's like my best friend. I was like, oh, more than Juliet? She's like, no, not more than Juliet. I was like, oh, okay. And she goes. She goes. I go, do you play with Juliet every day at school? And she goes, I do. And I kiss her every day when I see her. And not wanting to kind of make it a big deal, I was like, that's cool because she's your best friend. But I made the comment to my ex in our conversation the other night, and she was like, yeah, she told me. She goes. I asked her, you know, because she talks to her and she goes, you know, do you still have a crush on Chase? She goes, yeah, I do have a crush on Chase. She goes, but I have a bigger crush on Juliet. And she goes, the feelings I feel when I'm around Juliet. And she said, my ex said, like, she was so descriptive. Like, these are true. Like, like, not lustful, because she's too young to be lustful, if you will. But they were true. Like, feelings, as in, like, she wants a relationship with Juliet type stuff. And she was. I just, you know, I told her that God created, you know, man and woman to, you know, be fruitful and kind of like, that's how children come. And she goes, but I didn't really want to focus on, like, the negative of, like, hey, you cannot like a female, you know? And I just kind of like, focused on, like, what the man and woman relationship is as well as like, you can also admire God's creation without having to feel like you have to, you know, be with them in that kind of intimate way, if you will. And I said, yeah, I sense that. And that's why I also kind of didn't address it, like, in the sense of, like. So what do you mean? You kissed her and all this? I said, that's cool. You know, like, she's your best friend. Like, that's cool. Like, you guys, you know, kiss when you see each other. Cool, I said, but, you know, on the. On the TV the other day, there was a series we were watching, and. And the two girls kissed, and it was just a kiss, but, like, I told her, cover her eyes. And me and my third child were like, that's so wrong. You know, like, that is not. That's not right. More or less reiterating the fact that the garbage they put on tv. But I def. Like, again, the shield didn't cover that. I wasn't expecting that in that show. It happened, and I needed to let her know that I don't condone it. I don't accept it, you know? [01:31:22] Speaker B: Yeah, that's. That's good that it was able to come in a different context than just specifically her actions. You didn't have to, like, lay it down right then and there, you know? [01:31:35] Speaker A: Yeah. You dirty little. No. Hey, so we're. We're reaching our. Our. Our time frame. I appreciate you, Franklin. What. What do you want to talk about next week? [01:31:49] Speaker B: I heard someone talking about an article. I can't remember where it was. I'll find it. But it was like. I think it was like, 35 green flags before you get into a relationship with a guy. And I thought it'd be hilarious if we went through and saw how many of them we had or didn't have. [01:32:15] Speaker A: All right, so here's. Here's another thing. Quick, that. That my ex brought up the other night, and she. You know, her. Her. Her little spunky ass was. She goes, there's a website that women use all over the US so hold on. 35 green flags before dating the Guy. [01:32:40] Speaker B: I can't remember exactly what the. The title was, but I think it was Red Flags and Green Flags. [01:32:48] Speaker A: All right, I'll look it up. And she goes, there's a website that women use, like, where if they come across some guys dating profile or they're just dating a guy that they met organically, they'll post a picture of him on this. On this app, this website. App, whatever it is, and say, dude, have anybody Know anything on this guy? Like, does anybody, is he married? Does he, has anybody dated him before? And she was. Women all over use this app. She was, I was surprised I didn't see your face on it. So you ain't going to see my face on that. And she goes, but you know what? She goes, I did see your good friend on it, Matt. And the girl was talking about the fact that he loved bombs all the time. Like he loved bombs. Like he, you know, makes them feel like they're in love. And then the moment she brought up her dimmock that she was a Democrat, he went off on her about like, you know, how Biden sucks and how Trump needs to get back in office and basically just ghosted her after that. But, and I told my, my ex, I said, here's the thing, she goes, you guys don't have an app like that. No, we don't have an app. We don't give a, about an app like that. I said, but here's the thing, you. [01:34:06] Speaker B: Don'T have an app. [01:34:07] Speaker A: Smart ones. She thought like guys might have an equivalent app. Cuz she said like literally, women. She goes, there have been guys I, I've, I've walked because it's, it's, it's a nationwide app, but you pick where you live and it's, it's, you know, geologically kind of formatted, if you will. And so she goes, there's been guys that I've like seen at the grocery store that I've seen on these apps where women have posted pictures and asked, you know, is anybody married to this dude? Like, anybody have any red flags or bad experiences with them? I said, well, here's the thing. We're gonna get hip to this app that you guys got. We're going to create false female profiles. We're gonna go on and just talk it up about ourselves. Like this guy is a, if anybody's seen this guy, please tell him to give me a call back because he is a diamond in the rough. Like this guy. I was like, I was like, we're gonna get hip to it. Watch, Just watch. She said, they, like, she said, there's so many guys that go on. There are so many guys that get posted on there. And like, she goes, it's live. Like these comments are coming almost like a Facebook posting. Like comments coming underneath. And you know, the, the, the, there'll be ones where like females will respond like, yeah, that's my husband. And other females go on be like, are you serious? I just dated him two days ago. Are you serious? Like, we had a thing going on for eight months. Are, you know, like. Like, going off about this dude, and I'm like, we're gonna get hip to that, guys. Like, we are going to get hip to it for real. [01:35:50] Speaker B: That's how it happens. We're infiltrating. [01:35:55] Speaker A: All right, I'm gonna look up green and red flags. [01:35:57] Speaker B: I'll find the exact article. I tried to Google it, and a bunch of different ones came up, and none of them were as good as the one that I heard on this podcast. So I'm gonna see if I can find. Find that exact one because they were, like, more insightful ones. [01:36:16] Speaker A: So just. Just. Just a. I'm just gonna throw it out there. I think I'm a love bomb. [01:36:21] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [01:36:22] Speaker A: I think I fall. I think I fall easy. And then I realize you're not the one, and I back out. [01:36:28] Speaker B: Yep. Yeah. What exactly is the hard definition of. Of love bomb bombing? [01:36:37] Speaker A: We're gonna. You know what? Let's discuss that. Let's. Let's. Let's research that. Let's discuss that in our next podcast, Love Bombing. The red flags. The green flags. Because I got some red flags for women as well, and I think we should just talk about red and green flags. [01:36:51] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, I'll. I'll start jotting those down. I'll just. I'll just stand in the kitchen with my journal and just watch. Watch my wife with the pen ready. And then I'll just scribble something down. She's like, what are you writing? Nothing. I'm drawing. I'm drawing a picture of a big red flag. [01:37:16] Speaker A: Love dare. [01:37:19] Speaker B: All right. [01:37:20] Speaker A: I was so big back in the day. All right, guys, well, we thank you for listening. You're listening to Franklin Turk on Pseudonyms podcast. [01:37:30] Speaker B: Sounds like a procedural cop show on cbs. [01:37:38] Speaker A: Until next time, we appreciate you guys have a good night. Hard day.