013: I Feel Less Sinful When I Jerk Off to Those

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Snap. Why? Why do you. Wait a second. Every time you hear me, don't wait, dude. [00:00:04] Speaker B: Literally in my ear, you say, 1, 2, 3. And when you say snap, I snap. There is a delay. That's how the Internet works. I don't know how to explain this to you. [00:00:21] Speaker A: All right, man. So tonight. Okay, so tell me, man. Talk to me about. About your text. [00:00:28] Speaker B: My text? Oh, boy. What did I forget? I knew I had something. [00:00:38] Speaker A: Texting me. Something about carpet. [00:00:42] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so this might. This might not. And this is not a euphemism. I patched the edge of some carpet that the cats clawed up. Cause we're trying to get the house ready to sell. I found the actual carpet. It matches perfectly. Like, it's a little newer. It's a little, like, lighter colored because it's not dirty, but, like, it matches perfectly. And I actually did a pretty good job of patching it, but you can see the seam. And everything that YouTube told me to do to get rid of it didn't work. Have you had this issue before? [00:01:23] Speaker A: So I've never laid carpet. I've always had people lay it for me. But I do know some things about it you'll need to, like, you don't have. I'm. I'm almost assuming it's not big enough to have. It's not. It's not big enough to stretch. Would that be fair to say? It's probably, what, foot by foot? [00:01:51] Speaker B: Yeah, it's probably. It's probably a foot and a half wide and maybe eight inches into the. Into the doorway. [00:02:03] Speaker A: Yeah. First of all, that's the shitty thing about cats. Secondly, dude, you're selling the fucking house. It's really not good. It's your house, so it's not like you lose really anything with it. They're going to get rid of that carpet. [00:02:15] Speaker B: Yeah. Okay. We. We were mainly just trying to hide the fact that we had cats. But I think I could easily say that moving the elliptical machine in and out of that room tore the carpet up. [00:02:32] Speaker A: So if you could get rid of the smell of cats, you'd be good. [00:02:37] Speaker B: Our realtor said that the house doesn't smell at all. I know we can't smell. Smell it, even if it did smell. But the. The realtor said that as long as you take the cat box into the garage, when people come over, they. They shouldn't smell anything. [00:02:50] Speaker A: So I call bs but that's cool. [00:02:54] Speaker B: You hate. [00:02:55] Speaker A: Does the. Does the. Does the realtor have cats? [00:02:59] Speaker B: No. No. [00:03:01] Speaker A: No. Huh. Okay. [00:03:03] Speaker B: Hey, didn't number two Have a cat. When I came to visit. What happened to that cat? [00:03:08] Speaker A: Oh, number two did have a cat. [00:03:12] Speaker B: Tragedy. [00:03:15] Speaker A: Here's the thing, Larry. [00:03:17] Speaker B: I'm Larry. [00:03:19] Speaker A: Yeah, tonight you're Larry. So, no. Yes and no. Like, we. We started to let it go outside, and, you know, it was. It was a house cat for the most part. We started letting go outside and roam around, and it came back, and then, you know, that was. That was going on for about maybe six months, and then after six months, it just stopped coming back, so. Mm. [00:03:49] Speaker B: Was she bummed? [00:03:52] Speaker A: She was. She was a little bummed. Yeah, I'd say she was. She's definitely a little bummed. Number four is really bummed. Like, number four talk. [00:04:02] Speaker B: How recent was this? [00:04:06] Speaker A: We haven't had that cat probably in four years, so. [00:04:09] Speaker B: Oh, okay. [00:04:10] Speaker A: Like four years old. [00:04:12] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. [00:04:13] Speaker A: But, yeah, number four is more effective than number two is. [00:04:19] Speaker B: Wow. We had two. [00:04:22] Speaker A: Number two saw a chore be cleared. You know, like, oh, cool, no more cleaning the bathroom. You know, I mean, like, it's like someone taking that off your list, you know, if. [00:04:30] Speaker B: If it wasn't a beloved household pet, then, like, we don't even know that it died. It might have just found a new family it liked better. Like, okay, I don't have to scoop the cat box. [00:04:41] Speaker A: What we say? We don't know. Yeah, but usually to get a. A lost cat back, you put out the litter box outside. [00:04:48] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:04:50] Speaker A: Or some food. Well, no, like, because it's their. Their scent. [00:04:54] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. [00:04:55] Speaker A: So they'll find their way back home if they can't. And so she was probably missing for probably a good month. And then we did the kid a lot kidder. Litty box, kitty litter box outside. Yeah, that's a hard one to say. And then. And then she came. She came back. [00:05:12] Speaker B: Oh, wow. And then she left. [00:05:14] Speaker A: And then, yeah, about eight months later, she left again and never returned. And so we were like, okay, we tried the whole kitty litter box outside again and all that good stuff. [00:05:24] Speaker B: Yeah. We won't talk about the rampant coyote problem in the Phoenix area. We'll just say it found a new family. Dude, I. We had two cats when I was young. They were my sister's cats, and I was probably six when we got rid of them. My dad just took them to the shelter because my. My great aunt was moving in with us, and we just couldn't have a bunch of cats and dogs and all the mess. So he just took them to the shelter one day, and it really bummed my sister out, but I was. I Was telling my wife that story and she just goes, God, your dad is just a totally different guy than who you grew up with. Like, she couldn't imagine they've got three cats in the house now. She could not imagine him doing something like that to an animal now. But it's like, dude, that's how it was with him. [00:06:22] Speaker A: Dude, I'm not gonna lie. I totally forgot that you, like, your household's pretty, like fucking. See, I'm trying not to cuss no more. Your household is pretty full of cats and, and you're. You have a lot of animals, bro. Right. I remember doing the remodel at your house. [00:06:39] Speaker B: They've got one bird left, but the last dog died a couple months ago. So it's just the bird and my sister's cats. And if my. When my sister moves out, those three cats are going with them. So then it would just be our two cats. [00:06:54] Speaker A: Where are the rabbits? [00:06:56] Speaker B: No rabbits. They're gone. [00:06:58] Speaker A: Oh, they're gone. [00:06:59] Speaker B: Yes. Guinea pigs. [00:07:00] Speaker A: So many animals, dude. [00:07:02] Speaker B: I was like, yeah, it was a problem. [00:07:03] Speaker A: I can't do it. [00:07:05] Speaker B: Yeah, my mom just like can't say no if like a friend wants to get rid of guinea pigs or something. She just can't not. [00:07:13] Speaker A: I'm not gonna lie. I. I get it. Cuz like my neighbors walk by and they have their dogs and I'm like, like, I would love to just be able to like pet a dog and. [00:07:22] Speaker B: Er, like how five minutes he is. [00:07:25] Speaker A: How t is we. Oh yeah, his dog, you know, I mean, like, yeah, love your dog, but I just, you know, like once, Once you peer shit somewhere you're not supposed to. I mean, like, for me, I'm like, dude, you need to come fully trained. I'd rather have another kid that can. I can somewhat raise up to pour back into me, if that makes sense. Like, to have that kind of relationship. Yeah, than a damn animal. Because I know, like, I don't know, man, but I see other people have those cool kind of dogs. They have like personalities and stuff. Not, not mine, Mine. Mine just sits in a kennel. [00:08:03] Speaker B: Yeah, man, I was pretty fed up with our first cat until he just chewed every cord, scratched up the carpet, scratched up the fur. He was a menace. And then we got the second cat and then they just played together and they didn't fuck anything up. So it was just, it was fine after that. But like, I was, I loved the cat, but I was like, I would get rid of him if I could find a place for him because I just can't. Deal with another cord. [00:08:32] Speaker A: Our listener is not gonna like this, but number two wanted a cat, and we got her a rabbit instead. [00:08:44] Speaker B: Oh, I remember. [00:08:45] Speaker A: I remember this. I don't know if it's a rabbit or a bunny. Anyhow, we get her this thing, and, yeah, it's blowing and going through cords. Like, you can't leave anything. Like, I had all our cords for our TV hookup, like, wrap around the corner into the. The patio, and then she chewed through all those, and I didn't. Nobody wanted her. You can't take them to a shelter. Like, shelter's like, nah, we don't want them. So what do you do? You know? I mean, you can't kill it. You know what I mean? So I'm just like, cool, or you. [00:09:23] Speaker B: Find someone who can? [00:09:26] Speaker A: Well, no, I just. I just drove because we lived on that raised. Yeah, Hibiscus. [00:09:34] Speaker B: I know the spot. I know the spot. [00:09:37] Speaker A: Yes. Lot of. Lot of kind of open area, you know, Coyotes were a norm up there as well. Yeah. I was just like, well, I can't have her anymore, you know? And if these shelters don't want to. [00:09:51] Speaker B: Take her. [00:09:54] Speaker A: I think it was her. [00:09:55] Speaker B: I can't have Beatrice anymore. [00:09:59] Speaker A: Yeah. But at the end of the day, like, you're a wild animal, so go be in the wild. And people get really angry when I say that, because they're like, you can't put a domesticated rabbit or bunny in the wilderness. And I'm like, fighter. You know what I mean? Like, let's see. It's. It's got teeth power. We know that, man. It's in here sharpening shanks. [00:10:24] Speaker B: That was a very tame version of the story that I heard. But you did not kill that rabbit. I remember that, but no, I didn't kill it. [00:10:31] Speaker A: I, I. I did throw it, like, down the cliff. Like, I didn't want to be next to the street. [00:10:40] Speaker B: Yeah, well, you can't have number two see it out on the street next time she drives by, you know what I'm saying? [00:10:47] Speaker A: So, yeah, you got to give it a little. [00:10:49] Speaker B: I heard throw. I heard that someone else did it, though. Is that true? [00:10:56] Speaker A: No. [00:10:57] Speaker B: Is that me? Yeah. I always heard that you two took it somewhere and, like, C word. And the kids knew you were taking it to, like, the shelter or whatever. [00:11:06] Speaker A: Yes. [00:11:06] Speaker B: And you thought. You thought he was gonna kill it, and then he just pulled over on the side of the road and grabbed it and threw it out the window. That's the version I heard. [00:11:19] Speaker A: I think I did that, but it was his idea, like, he explained it to me, like, this is what I'm going to do. And I'm like, if you could do it, I can do it. [00:11:26] Speaker B: You know, like, brother drowned a cat. Did he ever tell you that? [00:11:32] Speaker A: Who did? Your brother drowned a cat? [00:11:35] Speaker B: No, no, no. That guy we were just talking about drowned a cat. Did you hear that story? Well, I shouldn't have given away the ending, but lady that he lived with had some cats and she was in the hospital and this cat got sick and the vet wanted to put it down, and the vet was like, yeah, it'll just be like fifteen hundred dollars to kill this cat, basically. So he snuck it into the hospital to say goodbye to its owner and then he took it home and he drowned it. And fuck, dude, I just. There's easier ways. I feel like he really made a meal out of that, you know, like, isn't there an easier way to kill a cat? [00:12:27] Speaker A: That doesn't even sit right with me. You know how hard that would be? Like, the kid, like you're saying, the commitment, like you have to have such a disconnect from your heart where you're just like. You feel there's a greater good than, than taking. I. I don't. All right, well, hey, welcome to Pseudonyms, everyone. [00:12:49] Speaker B: Welcome. I'm Larry. And you just can't. I can't. I guess you're David. [00:13:00] Speaker A: All right, I'll take that. [00:13:01] Speaker B: Okay. [00:13:04] Speaker A: It's not a bad one. All right, so what'd you find on emotional expression? What. What do you feel? Feel. [00:13:12] Speaker B: I'm bad at it. [00:13:14] Speaker A: You're bad at it? [00:13:15] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:13:16] Speaker A: Did you actually look into, like, some of its benefits? [00:13:20] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, I, I listened to a podcast. I'm gonna do a piss poor job of, of relaying, but among other things. But one thing I believe Andrew Huberman was talking about was kind of like how dopamine is released when, like in reward systems and, you know, nicotine and things like that. One of those chemicals, serotonin, I believe, is actually released when you find a way to healthfully express what you're feeling or thinking. And it's, it's almost like journaling or talking to yourself where you kind of get it out of your head and it stops being an issue in your head that you can't get around and, and you're, you're able to kind of proceed with whatever situation you're in with like a clear thought process more, and it's like, good for your brain. What I found from personal reflection is that anger is about the only emotion that I'm really good at expressing. [00:14:36] Speaker A: All right, so maybe. [00:14:37] Speaker B: Did I tell you I made my daughter cry at Home Depot? [00:14:42] Speaker A: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Let me. Let me just. Let me make sure real quick that at Home Depot, you guys played house and you hand her a squishy pack, and that's also where she squished it at. Now it's all the same event. [00:14:55] Speaker B: No, no, no. Little more recently. [00:14:58] Speaker A: Round two. All right, all right. With this little do. [00:15:04] Speaker B: I forgot we had the Honda. I know I'll bleep it. But what you're gonna say is, what did this little bleep do? And it's gonna sound like you called my daughter the N word or something. [00:15:17] Speaker A: I love it. Because I did want to say, what did this little do? And I was like, that might be a little aggressive. You know, it is his daughter. I was like, yep. But this does a lot to him. All right, go on. [00:15:28] Speaker B: Well, she's taken to slapping us in the face. So if you think the B hasn't been thrown around a couple times, you got another thing coming. So we were at Home Depot buying boxes, and I forgot that we had the Honda, that we didn't have the truck. So I bought a bunch of boxes, and we get to the car, and I'm like, ah, shit. Like, it's not gonna fit in the trunk. Like, I gotta find a way. So the stroller's in the trunk. My wife's loading my daughter into the car seat, and I'm trying to get all these boxes to fit into the trunk. It's very clear they're not all gonna fit. I've got them folded. I've got them tucked in like it's not happening. And I'm punching boxes to get them to fit into the trunk. I'm slamming the stroller down on top of them. I'm screaming, fuck. I was just like my dad. It was crazy. Just immediately I was. And there was nothing I could do about it. My fate was sealed. And I'm screaming, fuck, fuck, fuck. And then someone a few cars away is staring at me, and I go, what are you looking at? I have to take. [00:16:40] Speaker A: There is a TikTok somewhere of this. [00:16:43] Speaker B: I hope. I hope there is. No, I don't actually hope that. Now that I think about it, no, I hope not. But I. We got a big TV box to put pictures in, and I had to go take that one back. So I took the receipt and I went and returned it and came back and a couple other boxes, and I came back out, slammed the trunk and I get in the car and. And my daughter is, like, over it, but I could see the tears on her face. And I'm like, what happened to her? Like, I didn't even think it had anything to do with me. And she's like, well, she started crying when you were screaming and pounding things into the trunk. And it's just, like, I just didn't think, like, she would even register that. I don't know. She's in the car. Like, why is she even paying attention to something outside the car? [00:17:36] Speaker A: Thank you. Yeah, by default, she's recording this, though. [00:17:41] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:17:42] Speaker A: Like, by default, like, without. Without intentionally record. Like, she is. You are just passing down that D gene. Like, you're just like, here you go. Like, slide it in there. Make it early desensitizer. You know what I mean? I'm telling you, man, you don't realize what your fucking actions do, dude. [00:18:02] Speaker B: I know. I know. It sucks. [00:18:04] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:18:05] Speaker B: I wish. I wish there was anything I could do about it, but apparently, at the slightest sign of trouble, I crumble down into my dad. No, but that's just who I am. [00:18:15] Speaker A: Here's how we deal with it, dude. It. It. Like, honestly, that's where I love the aspect of problem solving. However. Yes. I get it. Like, when I show up and then I'm like, really? Like, how I wrote here in this thing. How did I not remember? You know? [00:18:29] Speaker B: How did I. Yeah. [00:18:30] Speaker A: So it's nobody's fault but mine anyhow. The whole situation, it is where it is, no matter what. What circumstances it is. You can't control your circumstances. You can control your reaction, though. [00:18:42] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:18:43] Speaker A: And what you make of it, you know? I mean, so like, when you actually, like, sit back, relax, and let it. That's gonna help you, man. I'm telling you. That's gonna help you. Because, yeah, life's not gonna go how you wanted to, dude. I'm telling you right now. It's gonna give you far left. So just expect the. But let's have a good time. You know, me and C. Get into it a day over. Over taxes, and I'm just like, yeah, I'm gonna let you go. Like, you're still in this joy I got, you know? I mean, it's not even like a joy. It's. You're still in this piece. I have, like, I'm good. I'm good. Don't let a divorce be the reason you want. You actually have to learn peace. Like, when no one's around, you have no reason to get mad. You're like, no one's pissing me off. Well, now you have to deal with who you are. One. [00:19:31] Speaker B: Hey. Hey, buddy. You made the sale. You just said peace and quiet, and I'm alone. What? What are you trying to do? [00:19:46] Speaker A: You made this. That is actually hilarious, man. Yeah, no, but you learn it in the worst of way, dude. Like, you learn it with actually having to confront yourself. Like, it's not a cool process, but. But at the end, you see the refinement, but in the. In the midst of it, you're not seeing that. You're just like, this sucks. You're standing at a toaster oven cooking Tostitos, I guess, which are actually tostinos due to the Mandela effect or something. But at. At 40, like, I mean, it's so like, Will Ferrell, old school. Like, give me a robe, give me a tranquilizer, and let me go sit in the pool. You know what I mean? Like, ah. It's not fun, man. [00:20:31] Speaker B: You're crazy, man. [00:20:33] Speaker A: I like you too. Crazy. [00:20:39] Speaker B: Yeah. I will say that my outbursts are less common. [00:20:44] Speaker A: Hey, so you. You did mention something earlier about only being mad. Is that because that's the most familiar emotion, or do you feel like it's actually, like, warranted? Justified? [00:21:01] Speaker B: So there's what I think, and then there's my heart. And in my heart, which is not right. Which is not correct. So I'm not making fun of you. If you hear that in what I'm about to say, I'm not. [00:21:19] Speaker A: Wow. [00:21:20] Speaker B: I'm not making. No, no, no, no. I just. Just. [00:21:23] Speaker A: You're like. I don't know what angle this is, but I'm gonna hit the button in case. [00:21:27] Speaker B: In case you think I'm talking about you or someone we know or whatever. I'm not. I'm talking about myself. And this is. In my heart. I know it's wrong. If you express emotions. You are a faggot. And I cannot. I cannot get. Maybe it's because I didn't have a strong masculine presence in my childhood that I kind of had to make it up myself. But, like, in. Even if I start to just, like, tell a story about something that happened at work, I unwound after work with a couple of drinks with a friend. So I came home a little bit lit, and I started really running my mouth to my wife about, like, stuff that's been going on at work. And even as I'm doing that. Yeah, and even as I'm doing that, I. I was just like, no one cares, faggot. Like, you're just talking like, Your dad would talk about shit no one cares about. Like, why are you bothering her with this? [00:22:28] Speaker A: Kind of. Yeah, but once you. Once you can accept that and move on that, like you're. It's not, it's not built around you or like, honestly, the same shit. Like the same shit you. She stood in. The same reign you fucking stood in. You guys are just doing different, you know? [00:22:47] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:22:47] Speaker A: So, yeah, at a point there is a. There is a kind of a part of like, hey, I'm gonna share my victories with you, but you don't need to hear my. Because you had your own. It's just on the same. Like it's still your. Maybe not on the same level, but it's the same level for you because you're still going through like that I'm not actually going through at work. So everybody's going through. So I like to focus more on victories. But even that, to the next level. [00:23:15] Speaker B: Even, even that I was just sharing like funny stuff too that's been going on. And even, even in the midst of that, I was just like, shut up. Like, like you're. You're giving up too much information. [00:23:28] Speaker A: Don't let people know you what those create moments. Like, honestly, hanging around your dad. Yes, like 100, but hanging around him. Like as in, in like, like a lot more like, dude, we watched movies. You were there that I, I never seen. Was that Butch Cassidy and said Nan's Kid? Nor that stupid Ass. The dumbass movie that you guys said was so great, which I was so disappointed, was that Old Town. [00:24:00] Speaker B: Oh, no, no country for Old Man. I hate that movie. [00:24:04] Speaker A: Yeah, dude, I was expecting something profound. [00:24:08] Speaker B: No, no, that's just what those directors do. Do they just make movies with no plot? [00:24:14] Speaker A: It's infuriating Anyhow, all that to say your dad's hilarious. I've had a lot of laughs with your dad. A lot of laughs. Like when I hear someone with a high pitched voice, I'm like, oh, that's the SpongeBob voice. I never knew that until your dad said that about my daughter. He was like, man, is her voice hard on your ears. Sounds like I'm sitting with fucking spongebob. And we were like, pf Chang's at like a family dinner. I was like, fuck. And she's in like mid story and she can talk like she's a storyteller. So she's going. And I'm like, this guy is just sitting here in agony right now. And he's just like, wow, her voice. [00:24:58] Speaker B: He just kept saying, damn. [00:25:03] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:25:04] Speaker B: Oh, dude, the hardest he ever. [00:25:07] Speaker A: Dude, your dad was hilarious. [00:25:08] Speaker B: The hardest he ever made you laugh is when we threw that old antique toy chest away. We took it to the dump full of paint, by the way, and my mom found out that it was missing while we were gone. And she called him, freaking out. She's like, did you throw that antique toy chest away? Now, this is his toy chest from when he was a kid. He's got the right to throw this away. And she calls him, freaking out, and he's just. And he says, I threw it away because it reminds me of my dad. And my dad used to beat me. And then he gets off the phone. He gets off the phone and you go, did your dad really used to beat you? And he. My dad just looks at you and he goes, whatever you want. No. So, like, yeah, that's. That's great. And I'm funny. I think I'm funny. And I try to always have a good time, try to make people laugh. But, like, I've cried in front of my wife, and it's one of my biggest regrets in life. [00:26:22] Speaker A: Wow. So here's the thing, man. You kind of. You kind of, like, grouped everything together. He was like, if you show emotion. [00:26:29] Speaker B: You'Re a. I don't. So I don't believe that. Like, in my head, I know. You should be able to express yourself. [00:26:39] Speaker A: I know. I know. I know you don't believe it. But that's like. That's kind of like how you were. That's how you were desensitized. Like, that's your. Yes. It's a subtle kind of, like, view you have or that you think people look at that in that light, and therefore, you can't do it, because then people are gonna think you're okay. So I. I totally get that. That aspect of it, for sure. I think this is a good book real quick, man. It's called Atlas of the Heart. It's by Bernay Brown. And it basically goes through dude and kind of breaks down. Mind you, it's not a. It's not a cool read. It's not something where you're like, yeah, this is entertaining. No, it's tedious at times because she's going to go through comparisons, and each chapter is going to touch on, like, several different emotions that are closely related but not. They're not the same. And so she kind of explains to you what jealousy is versus resentment versus envy. But then, you know, you got the boring. Let me back it up with all my studies. And then, you know what I mean, so, like, it's. It's. It's kind of. But it was. It was a good read. I'm still. It's still good. Because if you want to know what the differences are, that's a great read. But again, I think it's almost a different mindset in general. Like, just, I'm here, like, it rains on the rich and the poor. Like, I'm here, like, yeah, let's have a good time. Let's make a damn memory of what we got. That's why I sat on so many porches for so long. Figure that's what. That's exactly how I'm gonna end my life. Like, when people be like, why do you have all these stories? Because I live for a story. Like, you say, we're gonna do a train ride. Count me in. We could train ride. You know, like, let's make a. Let's make a story. Now, mind you, not at the cost of my children now. So my stories are a little less. But my stories do happen. You know what I mean? It wasn't more than a year ago I had a big black dude swinging me around in a casino. [00:28:40] Speaker B: Hold on. I hope you don't think we're gonna blow past that. [00:28:46] Speaker A: Do you not know? I thought told. It's. It's a great story. It really is. [00:28:50] Speaker B: I don't think I know this one. [00:28:53] Speaker A: Okay, but let's back it up. [00:28:55] Speaker B: Was this against your will? [00:28:58] Speaker A: No, this was a bet that they. I couldn't do it, and I had it done. This is. This is. So it's about being comfortable with yourself at this point. Hear me out, guys, okay? Just be comfortable with who you are. I don't mean that in a gay sense, by the way. I do have to put a disclaimer on that. Mean, like, be confident who you are. Enough in, like, people do like you. You're different. Who cares? So I'm out with this. I'm trying to get it. This is. This is March. I go out. I'm looking for a job. So they invite this company, invites me to this big event where all these GCs are at, and I'm like, oh, it's gonna be cool. You know, this is back in March when I got laid off from, like, when I left Blue Wave. I was like, I can't do this no more. I'm out. And I thought I'd have something lined up. No, I didn't. So I go to this event back in March, meeting all these spring training game ends up us going into, like, some pop shop or Pop, pop, shoot, some Tiger woods miniature golf thing. And I'm just there like, I'm not playing. I'm not trying to spend no money. I'm just. And I'm drinking just coke and a little ball. But I'm telling everybody I'm having a Jack and, a Jack and Coke, you know, I mean, like, I'm trying to. I'm here to meet people and try and like, get a job. So I'm talking to some people. So this, like, girls, like this PM for this company is like, let me introduce you to this lady. Like, she does like, basically land acquisition and then they build upon it. But I think you'd be a great asset. So she keeps trying to push me off on this lady. So this lady's like, hey. So I'm driving them to, in between these places from spring training to these casinos. Arm tooth, pop shot and then to casino. So say. He's like, hey, look, every time I get drunk, I usually run and jump into somebody's arms. So I'm just giving you a heads up. I go, oh, you're. You're like vetting me? And she's like, no, it's like, I just, like, if I'm out with my girls on a girls night, I'll jump into their arms. Or maybe I'll jump into a stranger's arms. If I'm out with my husband, maybe it's his arms, maybe it's somebody. She's like, I just have to. I'm like, okay, like, cool. So let me go to the restroom so I could get a little pop out, a couple push ups. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, so. So she's like, no, I'm just saying. I go, I get it. You're betting me. Like, okay, like, all right, I'll be right back. I can go to men's room. Like, I'm gonna go get some push ups. She's like, no, no, no. Like, I'm just saying. I'm like, all right, whatever. So the night goes on. We now transition from pop shoot to the casino. It's about one in the morning, two in the morning. And I'm just like, they have like a bar area. So I'm just kind of like trying to get old women to dance. Because the group that we're with, like, I don't want to dance with any of these women, but none of their husbands are dancing and they want to dance. They're like, hey, you want to dance? I'm like, nah, I don't dance with married women. So I'M going to pick up, like, these older women, like, and when I say old, like, one of them had a hip replacement the day before. So I was like, let's try it out, lady. You know what I mean? Like, it's just fun. We're not grinding or anything. It's just like, some fun. So. So I'm like, you know what? I'm having a couple drinks. You know, I'm having. Now this time I have a whiskey, and I'm like, I'm feeling kind of froggy. She goes, what do you mean? I said, you see that black dude over there? I'm gonna get him to catch me at the end of the night. Like, you, like, you talk about you being catch. I was like, you're not the only one in this place that's gonna get caught like a bride, right? You know? So she was like, if you do that princess style. Yeah. She was, if you do that, I'll get you a job interview lined up. I'll get you an interview lined up. I was like, all right. [00:32:34] Speaker B: It's extortion, dude. [00:32:36] Speaker A: Yeah. So I was talking to one of his friends on the. I didn't know it was this brand at the time. I should have put it together. There was a group of black dudes. There was a lot of them. They had a lot of jewelry on. Look like they're high profile or at least like, having a good time in life, you know what I mean? Like, better than I was, you know, apparently. So they're at the table and stuff, and I was talking to one of them because he had celly cell on his neck. So I'm like, oh, it's going down tonight. And he's like, how you know that? I was like, that's celly Sully cell. And he goes, so he shows me celly on his neck and then sell on his chain. And I'm like, you ain't sell yourself. Are you serious? You sell yourself. I was like, that's so cool. He's like, no, I'm not selling cell. I'm like, so why. Why did you present it like this? You know what I mean? Like, you kind of presented like you were whatever. Well, then his buddy's like, almost like 50 Cent. Big old black dude. That's the dude that's got to catch me. So I go up to him, I'm. [00:33:29] Speaker B: Like, hey, man, kind of all the first reactions to have big old black dude, this guy's gonna catch me. [00:33:37] Speaker A: Yeah, well, I know he could. I mean, at the time, I was probably about A, you know, buck 90. So I gotta have someone that knows how to get, you know, get some. Some. Some, you know. I mean, it can't be falling and embarrassing. Both me and the dude don't want that trouble. Yeah. So I go up to the table where the big black dude is. He's playing. He's playing craps. And I'm like, excuse me, man, there's somebody over there that bet me. Let me start off with saying I'm unemployed. I got a lady that's saying she'll line me up with a job interview if by the end of the night, you'll catch me. Like, if you will catch me. If I could run into your arms and you catch me. He goes, what do you mean? Like, straddle me? [00:34:18] Speaker B: Sure. [00:34:18] Speaker A: And I was like, ah, slow down, P. Diddy. Slow down, buddy. P. Diddy was active at this time, mind you. Like, P. Diddy was a thing. And he chuckled and I was like. Like a bride. Like, he was like, oh, yeah, so I'm gonna win. [00:34:36] Speaker B: Through the threshold. Carry me. [00:34:38] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Basically, I go. He goes, yeah, just say when. I said, whenever you're back over there. And then he came back over. Everybody was gone. All. We all kind of dispersed. This group that was there is kind of dispersed. Like, they're on the tables, they're on the. So I'm like, hey, fuckers. Like, I'm doing this. So then, like, she comes over. Everybody gets around, dude. I run up, they record it. I didn't know they were recording it. Run up, they record. I jump in his arms. He catches me, and he, like, goes to set me down. I said, no, you gotta spin, dog. You gotta spin. Like, you gotta spin. Like, I wasn't yelling. I was like, you gotta spin. Because he goes to. [00:35:15] Speaker B: Like, you're whispering in his ear. [00:35:17] Speaker A: I was, bro. So he goes to put me down. He's spins around and then, like, puts me down. I was like. Then she followed with jumping into my arms, which followed to a job interview, which was. I mean, like, I don't know. There was. I felt I would have got that job had the HR person not really had a purpose. Like, they made it their purpose to figure, like, you know what I mean? It was like one of those where, like, it wasn't. I wasn't a priority. But at the same time, like, you're reminding them of that, like you've said in the past conversations. So you're kind of like, man, you're making this really difficult, dude. Like, we could keep talking about this anyhow but, yeah, so I didn't get that job, but it was. I do have video footage of a big black dude carrying me, circling around with me. [00:36:06] Speaker B: Well, I wish I could say the same. I. You know, I've just. [00:36:11] Speaker A: I think I posted it on my ig. [00:36:13] Speaker B: You go for the story Story. [00:36:14] Speaker A: You know, I posted on my story about March something. March last year. That's what I was doing. All right, man. So I did like that book. If we're explaining differences, I don't know, man. I think there's a lot of benefits to. To. I think what comes with emotional expression. You can't just be expressing shit. This is what I was trying to tell someone today at work. I said, we're talking about emotional expression. I said, some people, like, in the midst of, like, too much, will just kind of. They'll just go with whatever emotion they're in. That's it. I mean, they're mad, they're punching boxes. They don't give a. You know what I mean? Just scarring babies, you know, going to town. The very thing that carries the baby. I'm just fucking, like, dropping elbows and shit on it, you know? It's like. Like, okay, there's that and then there's the. You know what I mean? Like, fuck, do you. Like, we either make the most of this or, like, do we drive with the kid on our lap? Just this one ride and fill up the backseat with boxes? I don't know. [00:37:29] Speaker B: Just this one. [00:37:32] Speaker A: People would get so mad that number four rides this ride shotgun all the time. I'm like, what, dude? Like this kid lesbian right next to me. You know what I mean? Like, pretty sure she's of the size and weight. If I'm not. Check it and then come tell me. [00:37:49] Speaker B: You started out so confident, and then by the end of it, you were like, I mean, check it out. It might be irresponsible. [00:37:58] Speaker A: I mean, by state law, dude, we live in a state that people could ride in the back of the trucks as you drive. [00:38:04] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:38:06] Speaker A: Without. [00:38:06] Speaker B: No one's tripping. [00:38:07] Speaker A: Yeah. California, Are there seat belt laws? In Arizona, there's seat belt laws, but not in the back of a pickup truck. You're allowed to ride in an open pickup truck in the back seat, like in the. In the bed. Yeah, that shit. Like, 80s California, maybe early 90s. Yeah, like, we lost that privilege a long time ago. That's why I moved here. [00:38:32] Speaker B: Yeah, it's weird, man. [00:38:33] Speaker A: The truck was the. [00:38:37] Speaker B: The desert has always been anarchy. And then Southern California just gave up on that identity. And just said, no, we're communists. [00:38:48] Speaker A: Yeah, no. I don't know. [00:38:51] Speaker B: You just go right over the border into Nevada or Arizona and it's freedom again. [00:38:58] Speaker A: But not always. I mean, Nevada was the state where marijuana was, like, a felony, like, just carrying a little bit of marijuana. [00:39:08] Speaker B: Yeah, that was. That was pretty nationwide. I mean, there was. [00:39:12] Speaker A: Yeah, but not every state. Vegas, you think Las Vegas. You think. [00:39:16] Speaker B: Like, you would think. [00:39:17] Speaker A: You think that's where shit's going first? Not Colorado. You think Vegas is gonna have it first? [00:39:24] Speaker B: Well, consider. Consider who's in charge of Vegas. [00:39:30] Speaker A: That's what I'm saying. Vegas is pretty safe in. In form, in. In relation to its decisions on when it moves, for what movements, you know, I mean, like, they were kind of like, okay, we. Okay, okay. Hey, like, we can have a football team. I mean, technically, Vegas can't really be. Have Vegas bets, you know what I'm saying? Like, now they have a football team, you know, And I had to be my fucking Raiders. But that's cool. [00:39:58] Speaker B: I feel like the drug dealers probably run the government in Nevada and didn't want the competition, so they made marijuana illegal. Probably. That's just what I assume. [00:40:12] Speaker A: I feel like you have some, like, backing behind that, some documentary you watch. Like, the way you said that made it sound like that's just what I assume. But there's a good assumption. Like, there's a strong assumption behind what you just said right there. You're like, that's what I assume. You know what I mean? [00:40:26] Speaker B: I'd say. I'd say I have very little to go on in that. I just know that the mob never left Vegas. They just incorporated. It's all the same people. Running. [00:40:36] Speaker A: Yeah, running. I don't want to go count. Like, I don't want to count cards. I mean, I don't want none of that. [00:40:42] Speaker B: No. [00:40:42] Speaker A: I want to do nothing messed up in Vegas at a casino. At least give me the cops before you give me the casinos. [00:40:52] Speaker B: Even then. [00:41:01] Speaker A: My friend said that they didn't make weed legal because it made people not want to gamble or drunk. You kind of have more poor decisions. [00:41:11] Speaker B: There you go. See it? Not what I said, but kind of. I knew there was a vested interest. I knew. I knew the criminals running that government had a vested interest in those drugs being legal. Now, that's totally true. I. The last thing I would ever want to do on if I was smoking weed is go play blackjack. That's so stressful. But I would play the slots. I'd play the slots for hours, dude. [00:41:37] Speaker A: I Would just, you know, like from a marketing standpoint, let's make it a go and let's just put like at every eating joint that we had throughout this casino, you'd have like at every table, every spot would have a fucking digital gambling, you know, little electronic gambling game you could play. That's like when I would play the most is when I'm like living there. That's when I played the most. I didn't really go sit at tables. It was more or less like I'm eating, let's try my luck. [00:42:08] Speaker B: Yeah. So where were we? I. [00:42:14] Speaker A: So I do want to touch upon you. Serotonin and dopamine. Yeah, I think that's, I think that's. I think there's a different outlook I have on people now than, than earlier. Now I'm looking at people like what can, how can we benefit each other in the sense of what can you pour into me? Or what can I pour into you? Or maybe just enjoy. And sometimes that's just, that's just listening. It's just having somebody to talk to. Like there's an old ass man at my job site that every time I see him he's wanting a cigarette and he baits me in and I'm like, I bite. You know what I mean? He's a good looking old man. No, I'm just kidding. But I buy because I do, I do enjoy a cigarette, but I don't want to buy a pack, you know, so I'll go hang out with you bite. [00:43:06] Speaker B: But you don't bite too hard. Right? [00:43:07] Speaker A: You know what I mean? I don't bite back. Right. So this morning he's talking about this, this, this brew coffee place we have out here called Bikini Bean. And it's no matter what time the season, it's a bunch of women in bikinis. Well, I don't know what I was thinking, man. I do and I don't. [00:43:34] Speaker B: I've heard of this place. [00:43:35] Speaker A: Yes. Yeah, everybody has with that dude that pulled up with all pantless and then wouldn't commit suicide. [00:43:42] Speaker B: Oh yeah, dude, I forgot. That's how I knew about it. Mm, dam. [00:43:49] Speaker A: So this old man was telling me like, oh, me and my wife went, this dude's like, this dude is oldest. Like I'm talking about 80s. Like this dude don't want to stop working. He's a. But you know, he makes money. So this guy goes, he tells me about his kids, all this other stuff. Like he lives in Massachusetts, but him and his wife travel, they do this shit. And he went to bikini bean, man. It was a nice view. So I said, hey, look. So I got to him today. I said, hey, you want to go ride with me to Bikini B? I'm gonna get a copy. You just want to go for the ride? You like, now I gotta pick. I was like, all right, dude. So I went. And I came back, man, these girls, I didn't want to look in. In. I didn't want to look at them. I was embarrassed. I was. I was embarrassed. Like, I pull up, no one's in line. Which was weird because when I left, there was like six people behind me. No one's alive. So I pull up and I'm thinking, it's closed. Soon as I hit like the cusp, like, there's four faces and they're just like. They're like my daughter's age. And I'm just like, oh, wow, there's a lot of you. This is. This is weird. I didn't expect to pull up to all four of you staring at me. So they take my order. I said, hey, look, I want it. I want a strong black. I want a strong, strong black and tall. Strong black and tall. I was like, I don't know what you got, but make it work. I just kept looking forward, man. I. They're like, yeah, American espresso. I was like, cool, put it on ice. Let's go. Yeah, but I like you do, you. [00:45:24] Speaker B: Do feel better if it's a, if it's a happening place, if there's a bunch of people in line, you do feel better about your choice, right? [00:45:34] Speaker A: It wasn't bad coffee. There was a lot of people when I left. I felt bad. Like, I don't know, man. They were all in like their g string kind of bikinis, you know what I mean? Some had sweaters on, but they all still look like my daughter's agent. I'm just like, yeah, this is a bad decision coming here today. You know what I mean? Like, you know, throwing a mom or two, that's what's throwing a mom or two. You know what I mean? [00:46:00] Speaker B: That's what's so fucked up about that business model that I'm only just realizing, as you say it is, like, who works in coffee shops? Well, like typically, yeah, it's 20 year old chicks. It's never like 35. [00:46:12] Speaker A: Some turn out to be professors. Some do turn out to be professors. All I'm saying is throw, like, throw a. A mom, like a real mom in there every now and then, you know, I mean, know your know your know your Crowd know your audience, you know what I mean? [00:46:33] Speaker B: Today, while we were watching TV tonight, while we were watching tv and I'm still a little tipsy from. From my after work hangout, but this whatever TV show we were watching, the wife sent her husband a nude through. Through a text message. I just turned to my wife and I'm like, why don't you ever send me nudes? And she. She looked at me like. I was like, I mean, do you want to do blow and fuck this kid? Like, what do you want to do? She looked at me, I was like, I'm pretty sure we can find a kid to rape. You wanna. [00:47:17] Speaker A: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What? [00:47:18] Speaker B: I don't think I'm getting those nudes. [00:47:26] Speaker A: Yeah, probably not. I. I kept all my exes nudes in my old phone. Not like after we. Not. I still got the old phone, but it's not deleted, you know? [00:47:43] Speaker B: Mm. [00:47:44] Speaker A: I feel less sinful sometimes when I go jerk off to those and just like other porn. You know what I mean? That makes sense. [00:47:57] Speaker B: Of course. Of course it makes sense. [00:48:00] Speaker A: I mean, it's my dog, you know what I mean? I mean, but it's your dog. [00:48:09] Speaker B: It's not cheating when it's your dog. [00:48:11] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly, dude. [00:48:14] Speaker B: Yeah, boy. Where were we? I got distracted. [00:48:25] Speaker A: I don't know, man. Serotonin, dopamine. I think those are great reasons. I think that's very true. [00:48:30] Speaker B: It just. It's healthy attachment. [00:48:33] Speaker A: Well, I feel like when you approach your. Your. Your day that way with individuals. There are some individuals you see, and you're like, here comes ta, you know? Here. Here comes ta. That's this current situation. I do. There are some people that have asked to listen, so I gotta. I gotta make sure I. I don't drop real names. So this is TA, and I'm like, damn, it's early, dude. TA's like, hey, I got a. I got 179 slides to go over. This is a legitimate, like, meeting about a job that we're. We're gonna bid on. He's like, all right, ladies and gentlemen, I got 179 slides to present in this PowerPoint. And I'm like, Holy shit. 179 slides. I gotta keep moving to stay awake. And so. [00:49:15] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:49:16] Speaker A: But I embrace. You know what? I just know that's how it's gonna be. So instead of being like, here comes. We're gonna have to delete. Fuck. [00:49:31] Speaker B: It's so good to see you. Fuck. Now can I tell you. Can I tell you what a massive communication mistake that was like, no one's got the attention span for that. Why would you start up front? Just say, hey, you're gonna be bored for about an hour and a half. Are you ready? Like, let's go for it. [00:49:53] Speaker A: That's how. That's how quirky this guy is. And so I know when I approach him in my mind, I'm just like, this is gonna be a minute. Let's just take our time. Like, let's. Let's exhale. I already knew it's gonna be a minute. So instead of stressing over the next 10 minutes while this guy tells me a story, like, I think I should. I know I'm gonna be here 10 minutes, and I'm just gonna press into it. And if someone breaks it up because I'm not doing my work, even more the merrier. If not, I'm cool with talking. I mean, like, I enjoy. I think people are so unique. I enjoy listening to so many people. Like, I. I like listening to that dudes. That old dude that gives me cigarettes in the morning. I like listening to his stories like they have nothing to do with me, but I feel like just listening to him, like, he is so blessed by that. Like, someone wanting to hear him out and just enjoy him. Like, sure. He baits me in like a little. Little Chester with the candy. You know what I mean? Like, yeah. Oh, cigarette. Free cigarette. Yeah, yeah, I'll be right there. Hold on. In fact, let me go get a call. [00:50:57] Speaker B: Sure. Oh, man. [00:50:58] Speaker A: You know. [00:50:59] Speaker B: Oh, man, you want to knock my junk around? [00:51:00] Speaker A: All right. [00:51:01] Speaker B: I mean, sure. I mean, you seem old. You seem like you know what you're doing. I'll get in trouble, too. [00:51:13] Speaker A: Sound like you've done all this before, bro. [00:51:16] Speaker B: He was. He was a trusted older figure in my life, so I let him do what he wanted. [00:51:21] Speaker A: I don't. I honestly don't know how he's still working. I mean, like, this. This guy. I mean, like, so old, his teeth are yellow. You know what I mean? Like, that's how long he's been smoking. Like, he knew the Marlboro man, you know? I mean, like, he kicked back with him, you know? Like, this dude is old. And the fact that he's still working, still happily married, he's got a son, lives in Scottsdale, another one lives in a daughter. I'm just like, your life sounds great, bro. I wish mine would look like that when I got old. [00:51:54] Speaker B: Yeah, we got it. My work, he works in the networking department, so I have to call him sometimes. And he's in his 70s, like, late 70s, long white hair and just like, he's the nicest guy, but just so soft spoken that you feel like he's pissed, you know, that. That vibe, you know, like, I'll call him up and be like, hey, you know, I got a store. They've lost all their network. I've reset all the modems and routers. There's nothing more I can do. He's like, okay, what. What store is it? And I'm like, store 277 9. He's like, okay, send it over. He's the nicest guy, but I'm just like, is pissed at me. Like, I gotta stop sending him tickets. [00:52:45] Speaker A: That's kind of how my. My. The owner of my company is. He's so laid back. Like, you kind of almost have to read between the lines sometimes, you know? I mean, because. Because it's just like, all right, so what you want to do with it? You're like, I was hoping you. You kind of give me some direction on that maybe a little bit. You know, what. What do you think? You know? Or. I don't know. I mean, but he gives you so much rope where you're like, you're gonna let me have this. All right, you don't say no more, I'll go do it. But not many people want to kind of give that up. [00:53:17] Speaker B: Yeah. Well, speaking of emotional expression in the workplace, one of the stories that I told my wife when I came home tonight was that a female co worker has cried in front of me two days in a row. So that's one. And the other one, I told my supervisor today that he's not helpful. Would you. Do you want to explore either of those? [00:53:47] Speaker A: I want to explore both of them, actually. [00:53:50] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:53:51] Speaker A: So why does somebody cry in front of you twice in a row? [00:53:55] Speaker B: So totally coincidental. I mean, I think she's on her period. It'd have to be right. Like, why would you suddenly be so emotional? I barely ever talked to this bitch before, but I just happened to be near her cubicle two days in a row when something messed up was going on. Yeah, yeah, the. What was going on? It's a little too inside baseball to the company and just how things work, but, like, basically someone on another team. [00:54:23] Speaker A: Do you have company? Do you have. For any company co workers that listen to us? [00:54:29] Speaker B: No, I haven't told anyone about the podcast. All right, all right. [00:54:33] Speaker A: So you're gonna give me some. [00:54:34] Speaker B: I mean, I'm not gonna give. I'm not giving up anything about the company. It's Just like, teams and how things were. Basically, she was remoted into a register that an employee at a store was using. She was on the phone to them troubleshooting a cash register, and someone from another team who's, like, higher up than us needed to do something on there, and he just kicked her off. And. And then when she messaged him about it, he was shitty to her. So, like, I hear her. She's got a mechanical keyboard. So I hear her just tapping away and, like, banging on the keyboard. She goes into our supervisor's office. She comes back out. She's banging on the keyboard. And then I messaged her because I didn't know how upset she was. I messaged her, and I was like, hey, is that keyboard owe you money? What's going on? And then I just. I happened to be talking to someone it. Next to her cubicle, and. And so I was right there when she was, like, still banging on her keyboard. I was just like, what's going on? She explains the situation to me, and then she, like, stops, and she's like, I cry when I get mad. And he. And then. And this guy. And no other teams respect us. And. And all this. Okay, so today, group policy update, company wide, we're updating all the computers, and you can't have a wallpaper on your computer anymore. Lost her. Shit. [00:56:08] Speaker A: Shit. [00:56:11] Speaker B: I. I work here 40 hours a week, and all I want is a wallpaper. She updated her computer, or she restarted it. Her wallpaper disappeared. She flipped out. And then she's on phone calls today. She had to take calls from. From other employees on campus all day long explaining why their wallpapers are gone. And just all day long, I'm hearing her. She's three cubes back and one over. I just hear her go, yeah, you know, I hate it too, but, you know, it's just what they're doing, so. I don't know. Anyways, I just. It was just so. I barely talked to her, and two days in a row, I saw her shed tears. It was just wild. [00:57:02] Speaker A: You're on. You're on a good run. [00:57:05] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. [00:57:07] Speaker A: See if you can make it happen tomorrow somehow. [00:57:11] Speaker B: Let's see. You know what? I could probably chart this bitch's whole cycle if I just. Every day I can make her cry. It's five days out of 28 days. [00:57:21] Speaker A: No, you start. Start taking bets. Dude, she cry today. You know what I mean? Like with. With some coworker. Hey, dude, like, 20. She cries again today. 20, she cries again today. You got to sell it. You know, and then they're like, no. Yeah. 20. She cries again today. Now you got to do some homework, all right? You know, I mean, you got to be an hr. You got to be an itzier. Like, hey, not only should we take away, like, we should make them all use company mouse pads. Oh. Just the company logo outside. [00:57:55] Speaker B: Keyboards. No custom keyboards. You gotta use company keyboards now. Oh, buddy. 20 bucks for sure. [00:58:05] Speaker A: Does she have coffee mugs on her desk at all? [00:58:09] Speaker B: No, but she's got a lot of shit. She's got, like, knickknacks and plants and stuff. [00:58:13] Speaker A: Yeah, no knickknacks, no plants. Tell her you don't have to, like, produce anything. You just have to tell her you. You heard it's coming down the line. Oh. [00:58:24] Speaker B: I've got it. I've got it. Because. So I used to work for a different corporation on the same campus, and one day they sent out a memo, and they said, no more personal effects at work things. You know, Some people's offices are too out of hand. You can have two pictures, and you can have maybe one personal item, like a plant or something. That's it. And everyone was livid about it. I actually got in trouble because I threw everything on my desk away, even my phone. I unplugged my phone and ran it up through my cabinet so that it was hooked up, but it wasn't visible. And I got in trouble for malicious compliance. But I should tell her that story. I should just. I should just tell her, like, yeah, you know, this happened over at the other company, and I'm pretty sure I heard, you know, that they're gonna do it to us. [00:59:23] Speaker A: Not only that, they're gonna weekly drug test each department. [00:59:29] Speaker B: I think they. So you are not allowed to smoke weed if you are an employee at this company because it's federally illegal. And I'm. I'm pretty certain half the staff would go if they ever got serious about testing people. [00:59:46] Speaker A: Dude, I'm not gonna lie. This company that offered me. I was telling you earlier that offered me a job. Not. Didn't. Didn't offer me a job. There's talk of. Of. Of, like, talking to me about a position. That company, same thing. None of their employees smoke, like, at all. At all. And it was kind of admirable. Admirable. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What was the word you said? Dissolve? [01:00:17] Speaker B: Divisive. [01:00:18] Speaker A: Divisive. Yeah. [01:00:21] Speaker B: Admirable is what I would go with. [01:00:23] Speaker A: All right. So admirable. Like, none of them. They hold by that. That. That standard. They're like, no, I Don't like, I. Because like, they like in my. I can't. Because. Yeah, it's government. It's so. It's kind of like, that's cool, dude. They work with guys. Like, I get behind that. I don't see a benefit it's smoking much anymore. I have like the last of it left, and I'm just like, I just want to get rid of it so I don't have to do it no more. I like, picked it back up for like a week. [01:00:58] Speaker B: Yeah. Just like the evening's over if I do it. And it's just. Yeah. Just partly what I do. [01:01:07] Speaker A: Like, I do like the fact that I sleep more sound. However, I do feel lately I'm more tired in the morning and my eating habits when I'm under it are not. Are not. Oh. Are not good at all. So I realized after tonight, like, I just want to not have it no more, you know? I have to get rid of it. I can't. I'm not a dude that's just like, not throw it away. It's like, no, no, no, no. We pay for that shit. Yeah. [01:01:35] Speaker B: Nah, don't waste. [01:01:36] Speaker A: Give it. Get over here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's run its course and then we'll. We'll take the next step. So there's a lot of benefits to this, man. What time is it? How long we been on? [01:01:49] Speaker B: Let me see. We've been going an hour and seven. [01:01:54] Speaker A: Oh, good, we got some time benefits, dude. I. I think it says improve self understanding, which I think is. I think that's what made me think of. Of Brene Brown was the understanding of your different emotions, which was great. I think ultimately it comes to being just comfortable with who you are as an individual. And like, instead of like. And like, because you're gonna come across men that want a meat measure all the time, they're gonna want to like, stand toe to toe and list out stuff, give them their victories. Like, honestly, like, hey, it's. Yeah, you're better than me. Cool. [01:02:35] Speaker B: Gangster ass niggas don't show they nuts, cuz gangsta ass niggas know they got them. [01:02:40] Speaker A: You know what I'm saying? But you meet guys like that, you just let have. I love that saying. You just let them have it. Was that the office space? [01:02:52] Speaker B: Yeah. Ghetto boys. [01:02:54] Speaker A: Mm. [01:02:56] Speaker B: Damn, it feels good to be a gangster. [01:02:58] Speaker A: Yeah, it always reminds me of office space, bro. [01:03:01] Speaker B: Yeah, that's. That's where I first heard it, but. [01:03:04] Speaker A: It'S a really good but. It's a classic. I've learned it is. It is. [01:03:11] Speaker B: It's a total classic, dude. And sometimes there's a lyric like that that just really speaks to you. I. I was probably, like, 18 when I first heard that song. I was pretty late to the game. That song was 30 years old when I heard it the first time. But I literally, I was just like, dude. I realized, like, everywhere I go, I try to. Not in a shitty way. Like, I don't think I was ever shitty this way. But, like, I definitely tried to position myself as if I was tougher, scarier than I am, because I know I'm not, you know, I. [01:03:51] Speaker A: But. Oh, that's. But that's. That's always important. There's always the chess game, the mental chess game with men. Like, I'm a tough guy, but I'm not the toughest guy. But in jail, I'm the toughest guy there is. I don't really. I'm not gonna give you any emotion. I'm gonna be shut down. I'm gonna be very. Like, matter of fact, I'm gonna be very. I'm not giving you a lot of input or info, you know, I'm just kind of like, you need to know. I need to know, and I'm gonna move on because I don't want the conflict, because the conflict's gonna. You know, at that time, you have to show cards. You know, There's a lot of dudes that want to be MMA fighters now, but still. [01:04:33] Speaker B: Yeah, man, but I cheat. And you can't know. You can't know. You don't just know an MMA fighter. They. They could be like, these guys. [01:04:49] Speaker A: You know what I mean? [01:04:50] Speaker B: Or, like, Jiu Jitsu. Jiu Jitsu. Scarier, because, like, there's not a Jiu Jitsu. Look. You could be, like, kind of a scrawny, nerdy guy and really someone up with jujit or. I guess Jiu Jitsu is not someone up, but you could take someone down. And it's like, there's no telling, you know? [01:05:07] Speaker A: But they don't understand that I bite, screaming, scratch. You know what I'm saying? [01:05:13] Speaker B: Honestly, dude, there's honor in that. You know, there's. There's a quiet courage in just kicking a guy. [01:05:28] Speaker A: Yeah, I. Dude, I honestly. I think. I think. I think if you. If you took a look. If you take a step back and just view life differently, it would stop your outburst. And not that you have a lot of outbursts, but, like, there's definitely more to come. If this is how you. You just kind of fell into place and I'm sure there's. [01:05:49] Speaker B: We haven't even started moving yet. [01:05:51] Speaker A: Oh, that's. I didn't think so. I didn't think so. I thought you were just kind of. You just lit the match, you know? [01:05:58] Speaker B: Yep. [01:05:59] Speaker A: Yeah, I get it. I get it. I understand. [01:06:06] Speaker B: So what do you. What do you think I should do to express myself in a more healthy way and how. You know, I don't. I don't think we really, like, close the book on how I just view emotion in general because, like, I just. I don't want people to know I'm sad. I don't want people to know I'm happy. Like, I just want people to know if I'm angry or neutral. [01:06:34] Speaker A: Yeah, there's. There's definitely intimate aspects of emotion that. Yeah. You say for your wife, for sure, but also feel like if. If you feel like your wife is your. Your ride or die, like, let her see that vulnerable side of you, like, that's the person you should be able to, like, kind of, like. Like, cuddle into at times. Not all the time, but, like, when you need to retreat, that's your retreat, you know? So I think that's important. But at work and atmospheres like that. Yeah. I'm not gonna let people see I'm sad. Not gonna let people see where. When I'm. When I'm under the gun, I'm going to. I'm going to. I'm gonna make you laugh because. Because just in general, you're gonna, like. You're gonna be attracted to the better, the more positive person than the negative person. There are people that I know, like, that we all know. I think you know her too. Lives in Utah. Lived in Utah. Does hair for a living. We'd always stay in her backyard. Starts with an M. All right, you got it. She's a very negative person. She's really negative. You stayed in her backyard. If you went with T, you don't remember her name. [01:07:59] Speaker B: Oh, oh, right, right. She's fun, though. [01:08:03] Speaker A: She is. She is. But, like, on an intimate level of, like, just knowing her. Negative, Negative. Everything's negative. Everything's. She's the reason I would. She's the reason C would have, like, started having real questions, and I was past it. But, like, C. She was like, like, dig in. Dig in. It was like, oh, man. I mean, it had to come out. I'm glad it did. But at the same time, like, in the midst of it. [01:08:30] Speaker B: What are you talking about? [01:08:32] Speaker A: Oh, all my. My infidelities. [01:08:35] Speaker B: Right. Okay. [01:08:37] Speaker A: Like, it had to come Out. But at the same time, like, she was the one. Like, dig in. I don't know. And it all started over Leaving a condom in the guest room trash can title. That's the title. [01:08:54] Speaker B: Leaving a condom in the guest room trash can. [01:08:59] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:08:59] Speaker B: Well, we're not gonna top that. [01:09:01] Speaker A: So. So I stayed at her house and. And I took condoms. I stayed at her house to go to interview. I took condoms because it's. It's. It's cleaner. You know what I mean? Does that make sense to you? What makes sense to you on that? [01:09:20] Speaker B: Tell me everything you just said. Hey, I'm not. This is not my deposition. This is not my deposition. [01:09:31] Speaker A: All right? So it was clear because, like, when you beat off, it's cleaner. Like, it's a cleaner clean, you know? I mean, like, you just throw away. You just tied up, throw it away, you know? I mean. Yeah, there's no, like, rolling your sock up, dealing with it tomorrow, you know, there's no, like, you're going to get something, a towel and having to worry about, like, it's a. And you just throw it away. So I put some other stuff on top of it, you know, some tissues and stuff. [01:09:56] Speaker B: Leaving it in their trash can is a crazy move. I gotta tell you, dude, even if you covered it up, who's there? They're gonna take that trash out eventually. [01:10:08] Speaker A: Yeah, I didn't think about that. Anyhow, they did, and that became a big deal. And it was like, why'd you take condoms? I'm like, cause I like to like to enjoy myself in condoms. It's cleaner. You just. You stowed away. [01:10:23] Speaker B: I was trying to relax before a fucking lie detector test. Are you really trying to tell me that I don't have the right to beat my God given meat? What are you saying? [01:10:38] Speaker A: They were for certain that it was like, you know, I took these condoms and had sex with someone. Like, I was at your house. There was only two people there. What am I fucking? You know? [01:10:57] Speaker B: Unless I brought it with me and then threw it away in your trash can, which, you gotta think. I could have stopped at a gas station. [01:11:04] Speaker A: They came out with. With. What if you had sex before you got there? And that's where I was like, come on, guys, there's a lot of rest areas. I would just left it at the rest area. [01:11:14] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, it's almost proof that you didn't do anything shady if you were that careless with the evidence. [01:11:20] Speaker A: Hello? Yeah. [01:11:24] Speaker B: So negativity. She started being real negative. [01:11:30] Speaker A: It's like even C is talking about how she can't stand it right now. She's like, oh. I said, I was talking to you again. And she went off on this whole tangent. She said, look, there's so much peace in my life, I just can't talk to you right now. [01:11:44] Speaker B: C said that? [01:11:46] Speaker A: Mm. That's what I said. You said that, or she said that to you? [01:11:56] Speaker B: Because historically, you are the one on the receiving end of that statement. [01:12:02] Speaker A: Yeah, she still forget what I was talking to. And I said, yeah, she acts like a badass or something like that. They're like, yeah, Oh, I was talking to a superintendent I trained. And I said, yeah, she always talks about, like, how badass she is. And like, shit. She'll say to people, like, I don't give a fuck. Like, who, Who's. And I was like, I always, like, try and say, like, really? That's kind of like how you want to, like, hold yourself. I get it. Because you're a female and you kind of have to take that role in a male dominated construction atmosphere. I said, but at the same time, you just get so much more respect when you don't have to take that role and people still give you the respect based on your knowledge or however you could provide the service. And no, she was. She just went off and it was just kind of like. I forget where I was even going with that. Gosh, gets on my nerves. Oh. So I was telling that to. To my. My other friend, and he goes, I worked with her over at this company. He goes, she was always a yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, ma'am. Yes, sir. And then she would come out and talk, like, at cigarette breaks. He was like, but it always annoyed me how badass she thought she was. He goes, but she was always a yes man. Yes, sir. And I was like, and it's okay to be a yes band. Yes. Or I am. You have. You have a problem. Yo, I'll solve it. Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it. You know what I mean? Like, I'll go find the answer for you. Like, I. I might not have it, but I will in, like, five minutes. Give me a second. Let me call some people. Yeah, yeah. I don't know, man. What negativity, exactly? Negativity. I. I won't be around it. And so when you could be positively engaging with people, I'll say good morning every time to everybody first. I don't give a shit. Good morning. Yeah, I'm gonna look in your eyes as we pass. Good morning. I'm gonna show you the respect. [01:13:58] Speaker B: Big on that. [01:13:58] Speaker A: I Know you're there. I know you're there. [01:14:01] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:14:01] Speaker A: You know what I mean? [01:14:03] Speaker B: I. Yeah. Even people who aren't looking up. Like, the receptionist never looks up from her desk when I walk in. But I always say, good morning, and then. And then she looks up, and she's glad she heard it, you know? [01:14:16] Speaker A: You know, I'm saying, oh, I like. [01:14:18] Speaker B: What'd you say? [01:14:20] Speaker A: I like the little. She's glad she heard it. Give her something to look at. Yeah, yeah. [01:14:26] Speaker B: No, she acts. She acts like a sour puss until you talk to her, and then she's the nicest ever. But, like, she just ignores you when you walk in. [01:14:36] Speaker A: Yeah. But, you know, you get her to look at you. Give her a little. What? You give her a little wink. Little. Little gunshot. [01:14:42] Speaker B: Yeah. Little. Little finger gun. I make a rose appear. [01:14:48] Speaker A: Little Shooter McGavin. [01:14:52] Speaker B: Little Hershey Kiss. Flick it at her face. You deserve a sweet. [01:15:00] Speaker A: I try and go around and just, like, be pos. Like, I want to be a positive influence, I guess, on people's lives. Bottom line. Like, all my. All. All the people I work with, like, I want to try and pour into them positively, even at the very minimal of outlook. Like, I might not be able to pour actual wisdom into their life, but at the same time, they could look at and be like, the dude always made the best out of the situation. [01:15:24] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:15:24] Speaker A: You know, it is what it is. The situation we're in is here. Yeah. In hindsight, we change everything, but we're here. This is every moment of our life, by the way. We're here. You know, I mean, and so how do we deal with it? Could be positive, could be negative, but you're at where you're at. Let's make the best of it. You can't control the circumstances, but you can control how you respond to them. [01:15:47] Speaker B: Yeah. I try to keep the humor at a maximum at work. The guy in the cube next to me, like, really funny guy. Like, really nice guy, but he gets very dour about his calls a lot. And so, like, he'll just. He'll put the phone on mute and just be like. And just explain what's going on. Just like, there's nothing I can do about it, but he just has to get it out. So, like, he'll put the phone on mute, and he'll be like, I wanted them to unplug a monitor, and they ripped a port out of the computer. And then, like, the only way I can help is to make a joke. So I just go, like, did. Did you hear that? Computer tied up and. And screaming with a gag in its mouth in the back of the room. And then he laughs and he gets back to his call, you know? But it's like the constant complaining, it's crazy. Everyone just complains about the customers all day long, and it's like, I'm. [01:16:44] Speaker A: All right. So does it trip you out? Does it trip you out how you could control your. Your anger at work, but you can't control at home? [01:16:51] Speaker B: Oh, I can't. It's way worse at work. [01:16:53] Speaker A: Is it really? [01:16:55] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, yeah. [01:16:57] Speaker A: But you express it. [01:17:00] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, Yeah. [01:17:01] Speaker A: I. I boxes. [01:17:04] Speaker B: No, I've kicked. I've kicked my cubicle. I've. I broke my headset because I'm sorry. I'm realizing how crazy this is as I say it out loud. I got off. [01:17:19] Speaker A: Part of you enjoyed the attention of doing that. Let me just asked that, like, do. [01:17:24] Speaker B: You know, I was pretty embarrassed. I was pretty embarrassed. [01:17:28] Speaker A: All right, all right. Now go on. So tell me the situation. [01:17:31] Speaker B: Well, the situation was the store had a. Had a power flash. So if you lose power for two seconds, all your devices are going to stay on because they're on battery backups, but your network's going down. So your registers, they're on. They're working. You can't take a payment for 10 minutes. I don't give a shit what your line looks like. So this manager calls me, says, hey, we had a power flash. None of the registers are working. And I was like, yeah. So I'm looking at it. Everything's flickering on and off, which means it's not just coming back on. It's messed up. We got to go back, and we got to reset the router, and we're going to have to give it probably 10 minutes. And he goes, I can't go to the back of the store. I've got a line. And I'm like, buddy, your registers aren't going to work if you don't go back there. Like, what do you. What? And then he goes. He goes, jesus Christ. All right. And, like, I'm not saying what company I work for. It ain't a company where you take the Lord's name in vain in front of a bunch of customers. Let's just say that. And so the network just came right back up. And I was. And then I was like, okay, good news. Your network's back up. I got to reboot all your registers, though, because they got disconnected from your credit card PC. They're not going to take payments. Like. And he's got a line. I get why he's so pissed off, but he's so dismissive toward me. I got off the call after everything was okay, and I threw my headset down on the desk and I went, it's fucking crazy to talk to me like that. And then I was like, okay. And then you have, like, almost like a post nut clarity. Like, once it's out, you realize, like, what you've done and. And then, like, the embarrassment really set in when I saw, like, everyone looking at me. And then, like, now I have to go to tier two and I have to get a new headset and I have to explain to them what happened to my headset. [01:19:32] Speaker A: It. Was it like a situation where, like, everybody has their headset and they're kind of holding it, but they're all like, stand up just above cubicle line and they're all like, what's going on with, like, people? [01:19:44] Speaker B: A couple meerkats. Couple meerkats in the room. [01:19:47] Speaker A: Yeah, I can see that. I remember that life. [01:19:51] Speaker B: Yeah, that was a bad one. Just today I decided I'm gonna go till 10am Without a Zinn. And I started. I was not in a good place, and I'm on a new team for this quarter and I have all new respons responsibilities and I couldn't figure any of the shit out. And I was just not fun to be around all morning. But I went into my supervisor's office and he is just an asshole. Go away. He's just an. And like seven out of 10 times, if you go in to ask him a question, like, I don't want to be in here asking you a question. But his response is always like, there was an email about this five months ago. Why don't you remember this? You know, like, it's just never helpful. And it's like, buddy, I'm coming in here because I need help. I don't want to talk to you. Like, can you just get me on my way? Like. So I went in there and I literally started with, I know you don't want to be helpful, but can you give me five minutes of your time and explain this me? And then it was okay. The more like an I treat him, the nicer he is. So I guess that's how I got to deal with him. [01:21:09] Speaker A: Dude, honestly, I feel like that that is somewh the way, like, my boss is very forward, so I'm very forward with him. And he smirks like, again, he's. He's. That. That dude that you explained earlier was like, you don't know what emotion he's going through. Like, I don't know how to. He's not emotional, but he is. He's just not expressive in a way that I would expect. So, like. I don't know, man. Like, so just kind of like, trying to read that aspect of it. But I feel like when you're straightforward with people that are like. When they're dicks and you're just like, look, we both know that. We both know the fucking truth of it. Let's just talk about that. Let's get that off the table. [01:21:51] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:21:51] Speaker A: You know what I mean? Like, they seem to be more receptive and wanting to help you more because you're enjoyable to be around for their personality. [01:21:59] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah, I could see that. And it's like. It's not. He just. He's one of these guys that, like, talks about how dark his sense of humor is and, like, calls himself an. You know, and it's like, you know, that type where, like, they get off on being an asshole. They think it's hilarious to be. [01:22:18] Speaker A: Yeah, they think it's. They. Yeah, they think it's like, I work my. My PMs. Like that. Like, he's old school Tom Selleck, you know, Magnum P.I. kind of guy. Just, you know, worked for government all the time. Boy. He's just like, oh. You know, and he always takes the Lord's day in vain. So today I finally had that conversation in my head where I'm like, all right, I got to sit him down. Be like, hey, dude, like, the whole Jesus Christ thing, like, effing Jesus Christ. Like, can we just drop that? You can say everything else. You just gotta drop that for me. Like today, he said a couple times. It just got to me, dude, where I was like, I gotta. I gotta say something. [01:22:52] Speaker B: Is this someone under you? [01:22:55] Speaker A: No, he's kind of like office equivalent is how I've always viewed there. He's a project manager, I'm a superintendent, but I'm. I'm. People refer to me as a construction manager just because I do the same thing he does. Like, I deal with contracts, I deal with change orders, I deal with all that. So we kind of take the same role, but we also split the bonus the same. So 10% bonus. We each get five. So I don't mind doing whatever it takes to fucking keep my cost down on my jobs. Yeah, but he is definitely that dude where. He's the guy. Did I explain that one where I said he's married to a lady in Europe? I thought I shared that he's married to a lady in Europe. She comes from money. And mind you, he spent the last, like, eight years in Hawaii, or a couple years at least in Hawaii doing government work. And then he's also done work in. She doesn't live in Europe. She lives in Thailand. She's from Europe. He's also done work in Afghanistan. Now, mind you, I don't know when this dude's ever home, right? Like, based on his schedule, but he talks to her, like, every day. And so he says that, like, they have this mutual, like, friend who's an engineer who's coming, like, stay. That was like, she's flying into town to go to, like, some spa, and she's staying in his house, his place for a couple days. So I'm like, okay, that's cool. Like, it's a mutual friend. Like, I'm sure he, you know, his wife knows, whatever. And then, like, he was. He offered to work Saturday morning, so he had to come pick up some passes from me. He came to my house around 6:45, ready, dressed to impress, to go out, right? Got old girl in the side seat. So I'm like, oh, 6:45, okay, cool. I just made note because he text me next day, next Monday comes around, I hear him tell his wife, like, oh, yeah. Or it was that Saturday. He was like, oh, yeah, yeah, 7:00. I was. I think, yeah, I was probably passed out at that time. And I'm like, oh, you devil, you. You know what I mean? Like, you're that guy, dude. Like, I was that guy. Like, oh, dude, like, you think it's so cool. You're high five of me. Not gonna. I gotta. I gotta share an office with this douche. You know what I mean? [01:25:18] Speaker B: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Little rune scoon. You do a little vaporune. [01:25:26] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, man. Yeah. It has zero nicotine and zero thc. It's. It's my daughter. What is the point, dude, it's in the mouth, bro. It just. It just gives a. I only do it at home. [01:25:41] Speaker B: All right, all right. But I believe you. I believe you. [01:25:46] Speaker A: Well, you know, I. I think it's one of those. It's one of those things where, yeah, I judge a dude when they vape in public. Like, you're gay. Yeah, I do. When I see a dude vape in public, I'm like, yeah, you don't know what cool is if it hit you in your eyes. You know what I mean? [01:26:02] Speaker B: Like, I bet you wish that vape was a big meaty, don't you? Don't you? You, you dirty homosexual. [01:26:13] Speaker A: That's kind of rough. [01:26:14] Speaker B: A real V. [01:26:19] Speaker A: Pacifier for sure. Pacifier for sure. Yeah, definitely pacifier. But you seen super bad. There's a. I think there's a lot of benefits to knowing your emotions. And so I think with that, like being able to express your emotions in a healthy way, it definitely does something for you mentally. Like, I think it helps you deal with one who you are. Like the fact that you don't realize how accepted you actually are personality wise within a society. I'm not talking about like, I'm like your sphere of influence. They're gonna actually probably enjoy you more as well as. I know it doesn't seem important now, maybe, but how people perceive you in the workplace affects whether you, you just fucking float or you go, are you just gonna plateau? You know what? That's all I'm gonna name it. You plateau or go, bro. You know, I mean, do you stay in that spot? But honestly, like, dude, just being nice to people I didn't know were directors has gotten me so much leverage on my project that I'm like, I'm able to shine, like, but it, it was just honestly being genuinely nice to everybody and anybody I saw because I'm like, this is, this is my career. This is how I make money. What you see is this is my, my office is everything. So when you have a need, like, yeah, I look like an idiot with a vest that's got a fucking digital tape measure on it and, you know, five different colored pens and every different marker you could have. But I also got a level in my pocket and, you know, an electricity meter. So it's like, I might look like I got a lot going on, but if you have a need, I got it, I got it. We don't have to leave the meeting, we don't have to borrow somebody. Like, go find a laborer or somewhere. But hey, you got a tape measure I could borrow? No, dude, we do it right here, right now. Why? Because I got it. Oh, I can't reach the ceiling. Let me pull out my laser. That, that's, that's where it's at right there. You know what I mean? Yeah, dude. Yeah, do. I feel like a geek for sure. But I guarantee you I'll get that job done before you do. So when you don't show up with the knife, I always say, and they're like, hey, do you have a knife? I could bar. I'll be like, yeah. Do you know why? Because I came to work today. That's Why? I got a knife you could borrow. Do I got tape measure? Yeah, but Daniel, why. Because I came to work today. You know what I mean? [01:28:50] Speaker B: Because I'm proud of my work and I'm not proud of you. That's why I have a knife. [01:28:54] Speaker A: Basically. Yes. So when you walk around your office, I'm just saying like, dude, to be that dude that like everybody wants is talking about in the sense of personality. Like, man, I really just enjoy that dude. And not necessarily talking about it. It's just seen. It's seen that that dude is enjoyable to be around. That's where. That's where for me it has to be. Yeah, you're gonna get the nices or. I'll never yell. I'll never come out of character. Because you're. Your lack of character is not going to make me come out of character. And that's what I keep trying to tell. See, at work you're being dictated by what they do. Don't let them dictate who you are. Dictate who they are, if anything, but don't let them dictate who you are. So when you come out of character, you're like, I don't give a fuck. And you know, I don't give a fuck about you. You know, like, no, dude, like, fuck all that. Like, that's great in sense. Like, you know, B really got big on that. Buddy. Buddy was really big on. I go in and swing dick. Cool. I don't. I go in and churn honey, bro. You know what I mean? You know, I get a lot more. I get. You know what I mean? [01:30:08] Speaker B: You get a lot more flies churn honey. Yeah, dude, you get a lot more flies, honey. [01:30:14] Speaker A: I do, you know, I mean, I go in there, cuz I don't want to put my hands in it, but I do go in there, show them how house. You know, I mean, I just. I just put honey on that motherfucker, you know, I like how you with honey. What's that? [01:30:30] Speaker B: You committed to that analogy. [01:30:33] Speaker A: I did, dude, I did. I did. Because I use that in interviews. I use that. I say, hey, look, I'm not an old school superintendent. That just fucking comes off with vinegar. You get more flies with honey. And you get more honeys when you fly. They do the same thing. They do the exact same thing. They take a second, then they giggle. They're like, yeah, I can see how you do that. [01:30:59] Speaker B: Man. There's power in being the. The one who makes people laugh, man. [01:31:04] Speaker A: Dude, there is, dude. I mean, honestly, Patch Adams was A great movie about laughter. I think it's one of the most powerful tools. And honestly, when I come home again, you can't control the circumstance, but you could. You can dictate your response. Like, when I come home, how much more important is it for those that I actually love to get the best of me better than those at work? [01:31:29] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:31:30] Speaker A: And, yeah, it sucks. But this goes back to our podcast on, like, can you, like, being able to be a husband or man of the house that has the weight of the world on you? You have no one to run back home to and say, hey, can I just live here for a little bit? Hey, can I just take refuge? Like, you are that refuge for everyone underneath you. And you could. There is no retreat. In a sense. Like, I guarantee you right now you're in a good spot. I get where you're going, I get what you're doing, but there's going to be a point where you're like, you got. Your kids are getting older, older, and you're like, I can't. I can't have them see me retreat. They have to see me push through this. I'm going to provide, you know, like, there's just a part of me, like, I'll pick up a second job. I don't give a shit, but I'm gonna provide for my kids. They want to get into sports. I'll make it happen. And there are times where, yeah, I had to go stay with my parents with. With a ton of kids, but at the same time, it was like, hey, this is temporary. This is the state. But I kept them in the know. This is where it's at. Like the. But as in general, where I'm at right now, there is none of that. There is no going to live with mom or dad. There is no, like, Dad's traveling, Mom's trying to, you know, get by. Like, there is no, like, hey, we're gonna move in. No, man. So at the same time, like, there is that burden, but your kids also don't need to see the weak you at home or the pissed off. And the weak. You could be the anger, you. The ang. The one that just unloads. Because he doesn't, you know, unload, or that's just how he deals with it. Like, you have to give your kids better tools to deal with their. Their emotional triggers, because that's kind of what they are, dude. Like, when something. So one of the things I learned in DBT or CMDR Therapy was maybe it was dbt, I don't know. But Is you have to recognize the trigger and then, like, process through it before you respond. And sometimes they said, grab ice packs out of the fridge and hold them. Or one of my therapists puts limes in the. In the freezer. And so when she. She'll take them out and just hold them. And scientifically, it lowers your blood rate. So I actually end every morning shower with the coldest. The water can go, like. And I sit in it for as long as I can, just. Just dictating my breathing. Like, I'll start as hot as it goes, but I end every morning with as cold as it goes. And it sucks, but I feel like I do it just because I don't want my skin to be like, I'm single, you know? I mean, I don't want my scam. Y'all fucked up, up. So I do it for that purpose, but I know it's got other benefits to it, you know, But I do it for the vanity. [01:34:19] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. The problem is I just never know when it's coming. I never know when. The effeminate co worker who points too much, he points like this. And I didn't know that today when he did that, when I didn't have any nicotine, I was just gonna slap his hand. And. And the fact that might be a hate crime. I don't know. [01:34:47] Speaker A: Yeah, dude. At the very minimum, like, assault on a co worker. No, I don't know. [01:34:55] Speaker B: Like, hey, we were all having a good time, unfortunately. [01:34:58] Speaker A: Conduct. Can I throw a flag on that? Maybe? [01:35:02] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, yeah, he was. [01:35:05] Speaker A: You get something. [01:35:06] Speaker B: If you knew this guy. If you knew. If you knew this guy, you'd hit him. Let's just put it that way. Okay. [01:35:13] Speaker A: Does he like. Does he like when you hit him? [01:35:17] Speaker B: Well, I've never hit him before. That was just today. [01:35:19] Speaker A: Yeah, but when you smacked his finger today, how do you take it? [01:35:23] Speaker B: I think he laughed it off, not realizing that I was not around with him. Basically, the deal was I was. I was very stressed, trying to figure something out, and then I've got him coming over to explain how he thinks it should be and how he doesn't. [01:35:37] Speaker A: Like, know about this deal. Did he know about this deal? You talk of. [01:35:43] Speaker B: The deal. [01:35:43] Speaker A: Basically, the deal was. Yeah, he basically. Did he know about the fucking deal? Because it sounds like he didn't. No, no, for sure. [01:35:51] Speaker B: That was the problem. The problem. The problem, Patrick, is that you are 18 years old, and I will not have you pointing your fucking finger trying to tell me how this is gonna be. I'm two Hours, Hours into trying to fix the situation, and I've had no nicotine. It's not happening. [01:36:08] Speaker A: I personally am going to joke about the pointing the finger a lot. That's how I'm going to smack his hand. I'm going to smack his hand by saying, damn, you point a lot, bro. Like, man, like. And then I'm gonna be like, I, I see why you do it, though. And I'm gonna start doing it during our conversation. Just, just. [01:36:26] Speaker B: I didn't know I was gonna smack his hand. I didn't know that I, like an ape would just have that reaction and just have to do that. It wasn't something. [01:36:36] Speaker A: I was a wild canon out there, huh? You're just a loosey goosey, I guess. Hey, do you fart in public a lot? [01:36:45] Speaker B: No. Never. [01:36:47] Speaker A: No, not at all. Huh? Personality like that. You just fart everywhere. I didn't know it was coming. You know what I mean? It would give you a reason to be pissed off. Just honestly, like, ever knowing you after this conversation, I was like, damn, I bet this dude's the dude farting in public everywhere. [01:37:06] Speaker B: No, I don't even fart in front of my wife. [01:37:09] Speaker A: I think that's admirable. Honestly, I don't want to be divisive, but I think it's very admirable that, that, that, that you do that. Because I used to. My ex never farted in me. I heard her fart three times out of 20 years, and once was in her sleep and twice was on the toilet, and she, she. She discounted both of those. Like, once, she was like, yeah, duh, there's gonna be farts with shits. And I was like, yeah, but I've never heard you do it, you know? And then the second one was like, well, I was sleeping. I couldn't control it. However, I would let him go. Like, to me, I was raised as farts were funny. You know what I mean? Like, you. The. The quieter and the smellier, the better and the funnier, you know what I mean? Like, I'm gonna. I'm gonna definitely create that little cave between us and then fan it with. With using my foot to bring in some air at the bottom and push it to the top. You know what I mean? Like, I'm coming up with some great ways to discuss you. However, I now will not fart in front of any woman, including her. Now. Now I just. I just get the colon cancer. I take colon cancer over. Over, turn her off. And I use. I usually use ass deodorant. [01:38:32] Speaker B: Really? I didn't know they had that. [01:38:38] Speaker A: They do. They have a couple different versions of it. I currently use man's version. No, no, it's, it's a lotion. So like you come right out the shower, you, you wipe it on and honestly I still, as much as I clean down there, I still wash my hands after applying that fucking deodorant, you know, I mean like, I apply it. [01:38:58] Speaker B: I was gonna say after a shower. [01:39:01] Speaker A: Why would I still wash my hands? I, I just do. I just don't. [01:39:05] Speaker B: But no, no. Why would you put this nice smelling stuff on after a shot? You're cleaning. [01:39:12] Speaker A: Yeah, but I'm now going to put on my pants and go to my work day and who knows what the day. [01:39:17] Speaker B: So it just keeps you from like getting sweaty. [01:39:20] Speaker A: Yeah, there's been days where I've had sex at lunch. There's been days where I've had sex right after work. So who knows, you know? Not that I, not that I'm in that position right now as a man. Like right now I'm, I'm, I'm not having sex with anybody intentionally. However, I still don't like to sit down right after getting home to like piss or, or maybe both. And then you get that whiff of like butthole that reminds you of, of some female that you did doggy style where you're like, oh, this girl. Like, you know what I mean? Like it always takes me back to a certain individual. I, I just go right back to, to her and I'm like, I, oh man, that's my butt right now. That's, that's kind of where. So the Bud deodorant eliminates that transition from standing and sitting on the toilet with the flashback. [01:40:11] Speaker B: Having sex at lunch. I never made it past that. [01:40:15] Speaker A: I've had that. [01:40:15] Speaker B: Just so you know. Was this with the old guy that gives you cigarettes? [01:40:23] Speaker A: No. So I was doing a project. Man, I thought you the one that. [01:40:31] Speaker B: I guess dip your pen in company ink. [01:40:34] Speaker A: It wasn't coming. [01:40:35] Speaker B: Why is this the origin story? [01:40:37] Speaker A: It was related. It was related. And I do consider it not dipping my penny. Co. Inc. But she was the client and it was the secretary and she was the one that actually went to my ex wife and said, hey, your husband's with me. Like is. I think he's like, I think he's cheating on you. And she was a secretary and she would, she'd be working in the old office. I was doing work in the new office. I'd have to go talk to them sometimes, but she took Liking to me. We started talking and then she was like, hey, I have to run and get lunch. And I was like, well, hey, I'll meet up with you. Like, she had to get lunch for the office. I was like, I meet up with you. So I parked. She parked right next to me. We just. We opened our doors. It was a busy ass parking lot too. We opened our car doors and then we just stood up and I just lifted up that dress and just went to town. [01:41:38] Speaker B: Damn, I wish I had the song queued up. That would have been perfect. [01:41:45] Speaker A: I hope, honestly, I hope in the future you pick just a. Just a handful of songs that you could read through quickly that you just, like, you cycle through on different parts of our. Of our. Because some of them are going to be based on your stories as well. [01:42:05] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:42:07] Speaker A: So, hey, I'm not proud of that moment. That's kind of why I'm. I'm doing the whole. I don't know, is it celibacy? Is that what this would be considered? Not having sex with anybody? You know, I'm trying not to even, like, you know, even dudes, you know, even dudes. Dude, Rosie's, you know, she's sitting sideline at this time right now, too, you know. [01:42:32] Speaker B: Wait, what? [01:42:34] Speaker A: Rosie Palm? She's not even. She's. I'm trying to put her. I'm trying to put her in the back pocket for right now. Just let her sit on it for a minute, you know, just stu. Just. No, no, dude, I'm telling you, man, after looking at the. What pornography does to your brain. [01:42:50] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:42:51] Speaker A: A couple weeks ago, like, honestly, it's like studying for that podcast made me realize, like, dude, I don't want it once a week, you know? Like, I don't want to. Yeah, because it does help. It does make you objectify women for sure. Everything's like, can I. [01:43:07] Speaker B: It can I, dude, sure. [01:43:19] Speaker A: I mean, I mean, like. Or what would it be like to it? Like, that's just what it does to you. [01:43:25] Speaker B: What? Like, it doesn't sound like we're talking about just human women. It sounds. [01:43:34] Speaker A: Every woman I see, I'm like, yeah, like, that would be a fun night. Or a little at another one. I'm like, yeah, that would be a fun night, but it's your dog. [01:43:56] Speaker B: Oh, man. [01:44:00] Speaker A: So, yeah, man. What. What. What are we going on now? What time is it there at your house? 11:42. [01:44:07] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [01:44:08] Speaker A: You get in bed, man. What do we want to tackle next week? [01:44:15] Speaker B: What do we want to tackle next week? I don't know. Don't know. You had a list. [01:44:24] Speaker A: I still got that list. I'll read through kind of what your responses were. [01:44:30] Speaker B: Revelations coming up. [01:44:33] Speaker A: Okay, you know what? I think we're gonna have enough to talk about just that. [01:44:39] Speaker B: You want to do that next. [01:44:40] Speaker A: My study, we can start it, because it will definitely put my foot to the fire. I. I'm finishing my study in James for my daughter and her youth group. And then I already told her I'm jumping into Revelation. But then I also told her, if you want to understand what Uncle Nasty's view is, he has his own podcast where he talks about two, like, 20 minute segments of Revelation. So now, mind you, in the second one, he does go on quite a bit recapping the first one, however you get past the five minute mark. And the rest about his view on Revelation. [01:45:19] Speaker B: Yeah, I didn't even remember that that was a two parter. [01:45:24] Speaker A: It was a two parter and I was like. During the second part, I was like, yeah, I know, Dick. Your first one was 20 minutes. I just listened to it. Can you just get past recapping the first one? [01:45:33] Speaker B: You know, like, you know. You know what might help? Not on Revelation, but post Millennialism. I don't remember what episode number it was, but I get into a lot of just general eschatology stuff. And I bet I talk about Revelation a lot in that one. [01:45:51] Speaker A: I bet you do too. But I'm excited to look at Revelation without. I want to just look at it. I. I want to read it again as a whole, because I did start a study on it four years ago, and looking through all my different journals, I did find my notes on it, but I didn't. I didn't get past, like, chapter. I didn't get past the seven lampstands. So I didn't get far into it, you know, I mean, because I really wanted to kind of figure out what was tying all those together before I moved forward. [01:46:21] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:46:22] Speaker A: And it was probably a mistake. I should have just kind of read it as a whole first, then went back and studied it. [01:46:27] Speaker B: Yeah, I'll be doing it Bible in hand, because all my notes are in my Bible. I don't remember anything, but I know the notes are in there. [01:46:37] Speaker A: All right, Jay Vernon McGee, let's see it. Let's see it. Yeah, man, you got this. [01:46:43] Speaker B: I'll skim through it this week too. Oh, you should. Oh, dude. Especially Revelation 1. It's almost unreadable. It's just notes everywhere. All right, so, yeah, if you want to dive into that. [01:46:57] Speaker A: But here's the thing I don't put, I don't put notes in my Bible unless I've already worked them out. It's the OCD in me. Like, I have to. That's why I like the Bible with the extra page because that's the Bible that's going to have all the, all the dirty notes, you know what I mean, before they get cleaned up. And idea like ideal or I grouped by ideal or by. You know what I mean? They won't make it to the, to the actual Bible. Bible. [01:47:24] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. You know what? [01:47:27] Speaker A: Process. I make everything a process. [01:47:29] Speaker B: That would have been better, I guess. [01:47:33] Speaker A: No, but it's. But it makes it. It makes it a task. It makes it an actual. Like, that's why I don't like writing sometimes. Like, you know, I sent you a picture of what I was writing to my daughter last week or earlier this week. I think it's the weekend. Dude, that was hard. Like I bald writing her and trying to write her, but at the same time it's a draft. And so it's a task to actually want to write out everything. Practice my, my writing because I write differently in letters than I do daily and now I gotta go back and rewrite it. So now became a chore versus like something I just knocked out and, and moved on. You know, I, I do the same thing with my Bible study. It becomes a chore, which I don't like doing chores mentally still don't. You know? [01:48:23] Speaker B: Yeah, it's just as soon, as soon as you're on the hook for it, you just stop enjoying it. I don't know. [01:48:30] Speaker A: Yeah, for sure. For sure. All right, man, so let's start Revelation. Gives me some time to put some, some work into that. [01:48:38] Speaker B: Yeah. And I'll read through it this week. [01:48:41] Speaker A: Yeah, me too. All right, cool. Love you, man. Talk to you later. [01:48:47] Speaker B: Love you. Dude, pseudonyms out. [01:48:51] Speaker A: Late.