42: Just Trying to Have a Good Time

[00:00:00] Speaker A: I gotta tell you something so great. I can't believe I've forgotten to tell you this for, like, three weeks now. [00:00:07] Speaker B: All right. [00:00:08] Speaker A: My wife, servant of God, servant of this family. Amazing. [00:00:14] Speaker B: Is she in the room? [00:00:15] Speaker A: No, no, she's at work. She got herself a job. I mean, she had an online teaching job, but she got herself, like, an actual job. Do you know what she's doing. [00:00:30] Speaker B: This. She's a barista. [00:00:33] Speaker A: She sure as is. All these. I mean, a year of podcasting. Now you've been calling her a barista, and I've had to say, she's not a barista. Stop calling her a barista. She's a barista. [00:00:48] Speaker B: She took my advice. She listens. Yep. [00:00:51] Speaker A: And for. [00:00:51] Speaker B: Or did I speak it into an existence? [00:00:53] Speaker A: I think you manifested it, dude. I think you legit manifested it. I never would have guessed that she would do it because, you know, it's tough on the body and stuff, but it's. I won't. I won't say what company because of how offensive we are as a podcast, but let's just say it's a very large coffee chain. Sometimes it feels like there's one on every corner. [00:01:21] Speaker B: You know, started in the northeast, Northwest, so. Right on, man. Good for her. [00:01:29] Speaker A: And just so you know, just so you know, they do not have the same health and hygiene standards as the independent coffee shop she used to work for. That's the one thing that she said. It's like they're very lax about rinsing stuff out and all this stuff, but wow. [00:01:50] Speaker B: Good to know. The more, you know, that's where we need to start. [00:01:53] Speaker A: The little rainbow coffee beans. Better anyway. [00:01:57] Speaker B: Really? All right, well, dude, what you been up to, bro? [00:02:03] Speaker A: What have I been up to? This week has sucked at work, really. In a good way, because I like to stay busy. But overall, it was the. It was the first week of, like, new classes in the new year on Monday. Dude, I came in at 10:30. I was on the phone until 5:30. I only had. Really only had my scheduled breaks. There was 14 people in the queue the entire day. It was. It was crazy. But learned a lot, growing, proving to myself that I'm good at my job. I need less help than ever. [00:02:58] Speaker B: I'm not gonna lie. I always thought you were good at your job. [00:03:02] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:03:03] Speaker B: Like, you just. Just talking to you, I thought you were good at your job. Yeah. [00:03:07] Speaker A: I think I grew a lot in that last year of technical support and learned. Learned a lot. That, like, it turns out that old job or that last job that I Had. Had pretty high standards for things, and we did a lot of things that your average Tier one tech support does not do. So I think that was, like, really good practice for me to get into a position here where it's like a lot of what I'm doing is just referring people to other departments, but Bad. It's tough to take a call when someone's been on hold for an hour and a half and they tell you their issue, and then you go, oh, I gotta transfer you to Admissions and Records, buddy. You're gonna. You're gonna have to sit on hold for another 45 minutes over there. Oh, it sucks. Yeah. I take it hard when I can't help people because in my last job, I could pretty much help everyone. But at this job, there's so much that we don't handle that. It's like there's. There's some calls where there's just nothing you can do, but you gotta move past it. How has your New year been brought? [00:04:32] Speaker B: My New Year's been great. [00:04:35] Speaker A: Tell me all about it. [00:04:36] Speaker B: My New Year's. Well, let me. Let me start off with this. Okay? Where. Where are you? Not where are you? I've. I've talked to some people, some listeners. Okay. And we have some mixed. Some mixed. Some mixed feelings about the length of our. Our show. You know, some say it's too long, some say it's not long enough. Ride it out. You know what I'm saying? [00:05:14] Speaker A: All right? So please, everybody. [00:05:19] Speaker B: So, yeah, so that's. That's kind of where it's at. I, personally, I'm cool with just Joe Roganing this thing and going all the way out. Sure. So. But outside of that, you know, it's been a great year. I've been working on this. This. This field manuscript. I'm not. I'm not releasing the name or. I don't want to give anything away. I did sing you Chapter one just to kind of get a get. You know, ideally, I want to send it. I want to send each chapter to about five, six guys that I feel are solid that can say, hey, you're missing this in this section. Like, what about this? You know, for instance, I was talking to Miami about it, and, you know, one of the sections I was just talking about, she was just like, hey, so, like, do you have family relationship in that, or do you just have, like, social and professional. And I'm like, no family's gonna be covered, you know, so I'm. I'm excited, dude. I don't know if you've seen it. It's in. It's. It's. [00:06:23] Speaker A: I'm pulling it up right now. [00:06:27] Speaker B: Tell me what you think. [00:06:29] Speaker A: I will say just off the bat, your graphics are on fleek. But I know that you're. You've studied graphic design, so I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna say, like, you have a natural gifting or whatever, but I will say that I've. I'm quite taken by all the graphics I've seen in the two things that you've sent me and the logo. First of all, I don't know if you designed that logo or if. If that's. [00:06:57] Speaker B: Oh, dude. Yeah. I spent, like, a good. Like, I spent a good minute trying to figure out how to make all those inter. And I'm gonna even change it again. [00:07:06] Speaker A: Okay. [00:07:06] Speaker B: It's gonna be. I don't know what you call the infinity sign, but it's gonna be the. Instead of a bunch of circles making one big circle, it's gonna be the infinity sign. Because, like, I have to. I was showing that everything connects to everything. [00:07:20] Speaker A: Okay. [00:07:22] Speaker B: But I'm starting to think maybe, like, making a bunch of infinity signs where, like, I don't know, the yin and yang and you have, you know, six dimensions. There's 12 categories. It's, you know, basically, it's 12 circles to make one big circle. But if you go to, like, the beginning of chapter one, two circles just don't sit right for me. And so I'm thinking maybe, because it's supposed to be one continuous loop, your physical and mental are supposed to be one continuous loop. And so I was really excited with tonight's subject. You know, Abby. I was. I was excited for this because. Yes, Abby, as in Dear Abby. Because kind of what's being presented to us is someone who is lacking exactly what I'm trying to address in manhood or, you know, I want from boyhood survival to manhood significance. You know what I'm saying? [00:08:19] Speaker A: Yes. [00:08:21] Speaker B: Instead of reacting, responding, instead of, you know, being reactive to your situation. Creating the situation, if you will. So, yeah, I'm just. I'm excited, dude. I'm freaking ecstatic right now, bro. Well, I'm. [00:08:36] Speaker A: I'm stoked for you because I don't want to doom you. But I will say, you know, I'll get an idea like this, and I'll go out all out on it, and my shit doesn't go anywhere. I think you have a lot more. You've got legs with this idea. But I will say, I know the feeling of, like, when Something clicks for you with a creative idea where it's like, oh, my God. [00:09:02] Speaker B: This is. [00:09:02] Speaker A: This is the intersection of everything I'm interested in, and it's helpful, and it's like, you know, a well of. Of information that you can mine. You can. I mean, there's content here for years that you can create. And I know you're not in it for the money, as you said on the last episode, but I think there is some real money to be made in this. In this area. I think, like, when we talk about a specialized and rare skill, this subject is, like, very much for you. And it's not something that a lot of people are doing. [00:09:39] Speaker B: I'm so stoked about it. You know, I'm laying in bed at Miami, and I'm sitting there, and I'm like, you know, I really. I really don't. I love what I do, but this is not what I'm meant for. You know what I mean? Like, I want to do something I'm passionate about. She was like, what is that? I just sat there one night, I was thinking, and I was like, I would love to take dudes like. Like, Stretch Marks and. And just, like, guys that. That are thirsty, that want guidance, that want to know why things tick the way they tick, like that. That want that extra, you know, I just want to take dudes like that and, like, share everything I can with them, like how to be a man, you know? It was funny because Stretch Marks was reading the intro, the preface, and he was like, is it preface or preface? [00:10:28] Speaker A: Preface. [00:10:29] Speaker B: Okay. He's reading the preface, and he was like, what do you mean by, like, taking a girl's face in your hands when you kiss her? And I'm like, dude, it's. It's like when you grab her, like, right there, and you're just like, almost like, cheek, jawline, area. And you. And you look, and you just bring her in for a kiss, and you just hold it. You know what I mean? I'm like, that. Like. It's stuff like that that, you know. He was like, I'm not understanding. You Will. By the end of this book, you will. We're gonna have some graphics in there. We have some images, you know, It's. It's. I'm excited about it, dude. I really am. Like, I'm just. It's something I'm passionate about, you know? Like, and I've always been like that. I see a single mom with the son, and he. He doesn't know how to throw football. I'm gonna go teach him how to throw football. I'm gonna teach him how to shake someone's hand. I'm gonna teach him how to look somebody in the eyes. [00:11:21] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:11:21] Speaker B: And, you know, dude. [00:11:25] Speaker A: And I'll just say. I'll just say, like, these seem like small things, but, like, my dad didn't, you know, teach me any of that stuff. There was a youth leader who you and I both know who, like, shook my hand one day, and he was like, what are you doing? And he just took four minutes probably to give me, like, a full blown tutorial on, like, how to properly shake someone's hand. He's like. He's like, you know, hold it. Hold it firm. And you know what? Give it a little twist right at the end. Like, give it a little twist, you know, like, you really took his time. [00:12:03] Speaker B: He. [00:12:04] Speaker A: When I was 15, he saw I was, like, all cut up from my razor because I didn't know how to shave. And he, like, took some time to, like, tell me a few bullet points. Like, try this, try that. Like, you got to get this kind of razor. Yeah. And, like, it wasn't a big deal to him, but, like, I remember that shit forever because, like, he's the one who taught me that stuff. So, like, you know that you are gonna be even more than that to whoever this touches because you're. You're really doing the whole thing. [00:12:35] Speaker B: You know. One of the sentences in, like, one of the opening, it says, I didn't know how to look a man in the eye and shake his hand with a grip that said, I'm here without screaming, I'm a threat. You know what I mean? Like, just to look him in the eye, shake their hand. And you know what I mean? Like, there's so many things that, like, I see on this side of the. Of the court that I didn't see on the other side. And so, dude, I'm just. I'm so excited, man. I'm so freaking excited. [00:13:06] Speaker A: You talk about eye contact in here? [00:13:09] Speaker B: Yeah, eye contact. [00:13:10] Speaker A: Good. [00:13:11] Speaker B: You know, like, what it says. [00:13:14] Speaker A: I struggle with that, but, like, I'm a huge fan of eye contact for many reasons because it's. It's a tool for everything, man. Like, it's. [00:13:26] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:13:26] Speaker A: No one looks you in the eyes. Like, pay attention. I'm sure you do pay attention to when you're making unbroken eye contact with someone. Just watch how they will look at you for two seconds and get uncomfortable and look away or look at their phone. They're talking to you. They just can't look at you. You Know what I mean? So, like, it is a fantastic way to show someone that you're listening. It's. It can be intimidating in the right circumstances. It could be intense. It can be intimate. It can. It is whatever, however you want to use it, you know? So, like, little things like that, no one teaches you that, you know? [00:14:05] Speaker B: And it's like, what they also don't teach you is lack of eye contact. For me, when someone doesn't make eye contact with me in my mind, I'm not gonna lie. I got you. [00:14:15] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:14:16] Speaker B: Like, you. You know what I mean? [00:14:18] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:14:18] Speaker B: Like, you ain't gonna look like Gotcha. I mean, I feel like Dave Chappelle in that moment where it's just like, you're not gonna look me in the eyes. Like, I. I won. I won right now. Like, I. You. I mean, like, that to me is something you just should be doing. You should be looking someone in the eye when they're talking to you. I don't know. [00:14:41] Speaker A: Agreed. [00:14:42] Speaker B: But I'm excited, bro. [00:14:43] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm excited to read this. [00:14:47] Speaker B: And again, if you're seeing something that I'm missing, where you're like, hey, you didn't touch on this element, because right now all you have chapter one is the mind aspect, the mental aspect of things. So if you're like, hey, like, what about this mental aspect? You missed that? I mean, like, I've reworked this probably seven times over and over, and certain things keeping getting added and certain things. So definitely pick it apart. Let me know what you're seeing, what you don't see, what needs to be added. Yeah. And, you know, I just kind of dive in deep. Right. Right now I'm going through it myself. Just fall looking at anything that's kind. [00:15:24] Speaker A: Of off the mental battle plan. Okay. [00:15:31] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:15:34] Speaker A: All right. Yep. I'm gonna read the. Out of this. Do you want. Do you want, like, ED editing or just general thoughts? [00:15:46] Speaker B: Whatever, dude. Honestly, whatever. Like, editing. I'm. I'm open for everything. Okay. I really want. I really want it to be just well rounded, you know, nothing. Nothing forgotten, nothing left behind. Yeah. Just good shit. Cool. So, yeah. Excited, man. This is good stuff. Yeah. [00:16:17] Speaker A: But it's. It's just. It's really fun when an idea like this comes together and you want to pour everything into it. Like, you don't want to stop working on it. [00:16:27] Speaker B: Dude, this has consumed me. [00:16:29] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:16:29] Speaker B: Like, you know, I take steps, I take time away, spend it with the kids, do work stuff. But any free moment, I'm like, all right, let's. Let's let's like, re. Refine this again. Let's refine it again. Let's wash it again. Let's add this. And, you know, then I talk to people. Hey, mentally, what am I missing? You know, I just. Just realized I gotta add. I gotta add some things about the battlefield of the mind, the renewing of the mind. You know, just so much, man. [00:17:04] Speaker A: Do you have a good task manager? [00:17:08] Speaker B: What do you mean? [00:17:09] Speaker A: Like a to do list app. [00:17:14] Speaker B: I write everything down, work and personal, on a. On a tablet that goes everywhere. Okay. [00:17:20] Speaker A: Yeah, as long you just need, like, a dedicated space to dump all your unfinished ideas so that you can get back to them later. Because, like, you just thought of two great ideas. So, like, don't depend on yourself to remember those. Like, get those written somewhere so that eventually you can circle back around to them. Nice noise. [00:17:40] Speaker B: So I got that. That remarkable tablet, and I write everything on it. [00:17:44] Speaker A: Nice. So you've got the PDF of what you already did, and then you're just adding notes to that. Nice. [00:17:49] Speaker B: Yep, yep, yep. Yeah. And honestly, I started with. I mean, I've. I have so many files, but so many pages as well, of just, you know, I'm gonna see if you can see this, but just notes on how this came to life. And then, wow, you know, just, I. I started just tagging all this in and just, like, laying it all out, trying to figure out, like, this is kind of where it started on, like, okay, what are we covering for? For manhood? Like, what covers it? Well, okay, then it just grew and grew and grew and grew. And as I get these little things, you know, just stuff that circles back to, like, your penmanship, your. You know, what does it say when you have a manicure and pedicure? You know, what are people reading into that when they see it? You know, some people might not notice it, but the people who do can realize that you're detail oriented. You know, some people think it's gay. I think it's. It says a lot about you when you're clean and, you know, you shaved your beard for your job. Why? Because you look cleaner. You're more presentable. But yeah. Okay, so who am I tonight? Welcome to Pseudonyms, everyone. You're here with Dear Abby, and I. [00:19:04] Speaker A: Think you're gonna be Max Headroom. [00:19:08] Speaker B: Max Headroom, Yeah. [00:19:09] Speaker A: Because. Oh, that's his name, right? The. That weird. The anonymous guy. Do you know that story? [00:19:20] Speaker B: Is he the guy that, like, these kids put on to, like, a local news station? [00:19:25] Speaker A: Yep, yep. [00:19:26] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. And then he ended up becoming like the Pepsi guy, maybe. [00:19:32] Speaker A: I don't know. But we still don't know, like, who was behind that. So, like, to me, yeah, that's a little weird. To me, that's a character that comes to mind when I think of anonymous stuff. [00:19:45] Speaker B: But yeah, I want to say he. He was the first computer generated TV presenter. I didn't know that. Didn't know that at all. And I thought he was eventually like, oh, New Coke. He was. He became the global spokesperson for New Coke. [00:20:09] Speaker A: Bummer. [00:20:12] Speaker B: Yeah, well, I'm. I'm cool with that because I love Coke over Pepsi, so. Yeah. [00:20:17] Speaker A: But New Coke there's actually. [00:20:20] Speaker B: Did it really? [00:20:20] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, yeah. That's the thing. They changed the recipe and released New Coke and everyone hated it. So as. That's why it's called Classic Coke on the. On the bottle, because they brought it back because it was so unpopular. Yeah. [00:20:35] Speaker B: Oh, wow. I did not know that, dude. It was renamed to Coke 2 in 1990 and was discontinued in 2002. I did not know that. Wow. Good to know, man. Man, the stuff we learned. All right. [00:20:51] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:20:54] Speaker B: So I'm excited about tonight for a couple reasons. I talked to number one about this, but I did not want to read what she sent us. I only read what she typed. I did not read the screenshots. And I did learn that the screenshots are numbered. However, they're sent in not in chronological order. [00:21:19] Speaker A: Yes. So we are to read them by number, correct? [00:21:23] Speaker B: Yes. Okay. Okay. And so. [00:21:25] Speaker A: Because it seems to me. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe I'm the asshole here. It seems to me. It seems to me that you could just rearrange them in the dock is. But I'm crazy. I'm crazy. [00:21:42] Speaker B: She brought that up. She was like, I know I could have resubmitted them. She's like. But it was just a long. Like, I. I was busy, sure. I couldn't, you know, she was like. So I just thought it was easier numbering them. That's fine. [00:21:54] Speaker A: You know, some of us take pride in what we do here, and I just don't. Okay. I can't even. [00:22:01] Speaker B: I'm not gonna lie. [00:22:02] Speaker A: Great. I can't even fake it. [00:22:04] Speaker B: I don't know if you got a lot of room in her book. Because she was like, hey, like, does it bother you that he doesn't really do his homework? And I was like, no. I kind of. I kind of. I kind of like the personality split, you know, Like, I'm someone that's on you know, I want to do the homework. I want to come in structured. I said, you know, and. And I. I'm okay with that. I said, plus, you know, he's a new father. Like, he's. You know, he's. He's got stuff going on in his life. I'm a single dad. You know, he's got a wife and family, you know, and she was like, you know, like, I don't know. She. She was like, you know, the love language is one. You know, And I was like, yeah, I get it. [00:22:38] Speaker A: Was. That was terrible. [00:22:42] Speaker B: So, you know, you might want to watch when you talk about taking pride in things, you know, she. She's gonna fire back. [00:22:49] Speaker A: I will. [00:22:50] Speaker B: I will fire back. [00:22:51] Speaker A: I will say, I didn't know there was homework to be done going into that, so something. [00:22:59] Speaker B: I don't know. [00:23:00] Speaker A: I had nothing. I had no defense on that one. That was terrible. [00:23:04] Speaker B: Sorry. All right, so I'll describe the situation. It's in her opening. This is number one's personal situation at hand. And for the protection of those that we will be discussing, we, of course, will always use synonymous pseudonyms. [00:23:28] Speaker A: Pseudonyms. [00:23:31] Speaker B: Yeah. So here's the situation, and then we can kind of address it. Afterwards, her friend Jimmy came to her with the situation that he needs advice on. And so once he explained the situation, she started to question their friendship. Now, I did get some. Some backdrop on this. Again, I did not read the actual conversation. I wanted to save that for live on air. But I did get some, like, some backstory to this and what's been going on. So, you know what? I'm. I'm gonna just jump into it because I don't want to read that last sentence. I think it'll give it away. All right, now, you're. You're gray text box. I'm blue text box. You're him. I'm her. [00:24:27] Speaker A: All right, we'll say this is a big part. I. I was number one on this playbill, for sure. [00:24:37] Speaker B: All right, so she just wanted someone. Someone respectable playing her character. [00:24:42] Speaker A: Yeah, that's what I thought. That's my first thought. My first thought was like, ooh, all right, you've got me playing the asshole. I don't know how I feel about that. And then I was like, you know what? There's a lot of. Yeah, a lot of dialogue here. She must really trust me with the script. [00:24:57] Speaker B: Yeah. And that was the other thing I thought. I thought, oh, cool. She wanted me to represent her. And then as I looked at it, I was like, but he's Got a lot of, like. Got a lot of good stuff there. Okay. So notice halfway down in this first, this big block you got, it says she said. Now what she said is his name. You're gonna have to use Jimmy. [00:25:22] Speaker A: Okay. [00:25:23] Speaker B: Okay. That name is. Is Jim. We're gonna actually throw in different names everywhere. But whatever we stick with for like the next name, at the very second to last line on that same block, it says I prank call from. [00:25:38] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:25:41] Speaker B: We got to change that, but then we got to keep it that same name all the way through, so. [00:25:45] Speaker A: Okay. [00:25:45] Speaker B: Little homework here. [00:25:46] Speaker A: Okay. [00:25:47] Speaker B: But. Okay. All right. [00:25:49] Speaker A: All right. Let's get into it. [00:25:51] Speaker B: Let's go. [00:25:53] Speaker A: All right. Tomorrow, I need your advice so much. Like, more than ever before. It's crazy. [00:26:02] Speaker B: Oh, okay. [00:26:04] Speaker A: This one comes in at 4:46 in the morning, which means he either wasn't sleeping or he was like up all night or something. [00:26:13] Speaker B: Wait, I'm. I'm piecing this together. [00:26:15] Speaker A: Okay? [00:26:16] Speaker B: Because we had the. We had the pre run. I'm not gonna lie. [00:26:19] Speaker A: Okay. [00:26:21] Speaker B: He's this what he's about to share. Okay, okay. Let's just say this. Remember the window 10pm to 4:30am right? 10pm 4:30am okay, go on. [00:26:35] Speaker A: And that's gonna make sense later. [00:26:37] Speaker B: Yep. I'm gonna show you right where it makes sense. Okay. [00:26:40] Speaker A: Stop me when it makes sense. Dude. It's so not okay. My best friend's wife just confessed her feelings for me and she thought I had them for her as well. I told her I see her as the best thing that ever happened to my best friend and that's what she will always be. And I told her that it's okay that she feels this way. Marriage doesn't necessarily mean that you'll never meet people you feel for again. But you got to remember how much you are loved by your person and how committed they are to you. She said, jimmy, there's a reason I like having you around. You are the guy figure I want in my life. I wish we met at another time, another way. And then I got a no caller ID prank from my friend, so I took that and she went to bed and they just got married. I was his best man. I'm staying with them here in Canada until January 6th. It has been amazing. She thought that the other night I was flirting with her and showing signs of being into her too. So she started the convo last night once everyone was asleep in this Airbnb, like as if maybe we were going to do something. [00:27:52] Speaker B: Okay, pause. Okay. He texts. It's a Little backwards. Right. I don't think he's being very honest. Okay, I'm just going to go off these first couple texts. My best friend's wife just confessed to me. Okay, so she just confessed to you at 10 o' clock last night. And she just confessed her feelings for you. You. You're now reporting it at 5am the next day. That's what was happening between 10 and 5, but I don't think that's the case because why? Because, again, I'm staying with them in Canada. It has been amazing. She thought that the other night I was flirting with her and showing signs of being into her too. She started. Okay, showing signs of being into her too. She. So she started the convo last night once everyone was asleep in this Airbnb, like, as if maybe we were gonna do something. Okay, so I'm thinking that's the Just. And this is the. Is referring to the same conversation? Yes. [00:28:57] Speaker A: Like, this conversation ended with the prank call. [00:29:02] Speaker B: Yes. Yeah. Yeah. It seems a little weird because he says once everyone was asleep in the Airbnb, as if maybe we were gonna do something. But. Yeah. So he ends up with the prank call, same night. Okay, I'm getting this now. So I don't necessarily think he was flirting with her with the knowledge of that she likes him. [00:29:18] Speaker A: Okay, yeah, I was a little confused. [00:29:20] Speaker B: However, we all read body language. We all can read into engagements and how we engage. I think he had some idea, but I don't think necessarily that he knew. Exactly. So, okay, that's where we're at. According to him, this. This could be two separate nights and he just summed it up because he wants to get it off his chest. I don't know. All right, now, that text again was at 4:46am here I, number one, come rolling in at 11:00am hmm. Feels almost like a frank situation. But I don't know. I'm not there to see and witness the dynamics. But you just got to remove yourself from. From that or speak up. [00:30:07] Speaker A: Six hours later. Or. Yeah, six hours later. I didn't have service all day. The thing is, I was literally his best man at his wedding. Like, this is that guy. I had to drive home with her today. Four hours, and then we got food. [00:30:25] Speaker B: Yeah, but you possibly withholding this could strip him of actually being with someone who doesn't think twice about someone else. [00:30:35] Speaker A: I don't think I'm gonna do anything about it. I don't think I can handle it. [00:30:41] Speaker B: So I don't know. That's up to you. But I Wouldn't want to deal with that on my conscience. Then imagine she pulls something dirty and ends up mentioning her feelings for you to him. And mentions how she told you about them. [00:30:55] Speaker A: I just need to go home and forget about it. She loves him. Me and him are a lot alike. Like, so similar. I think she's just having a confusing moment in her life. [00:31:07] Speaker B: That's your friend, and I feel you should tell him, but that's just my opinion. [00:31:12] Speaker A: This is an entire marriage and a whole life. [00:31:16] Speaker B: Yeah, I understand that. [00:31:18] Speaker A: They have a business together. Like, it's everything. It would affect everything. [00:31:33] Speaker B: A whole life that could also essentially be. Whole life that could also essentially be saved time down the road. If you speak up. I get that it's a lot, but it's also a lot. By not saying something, you could save a divorce 10 years from now. I just truthfully don't think that you should be a thought in her mind. If she vows, if she's vowed to him, that isn't a marriage. That's wrong. That's just a lie. And odd that she felt comfortable enough to tell you about it without the fear of you telling him. [00:32:10] Speaker A: Sorry. I've been watching a movie with them. I am hurting internally from this. I know how I felt about the whole John and Karen thing. [00:32:19] Speaker B: I. [00:32:26] Speaker A: I'm. I'm, like, so scared about this. It's the weirdest position I've ever been in. I feel like so many different situations have prepared me for this, but nothing could actually prepare. But nothing could actually prepare me for this. I feel terrible. I want to cry. And this is a huge moment for him in his life. He's literally opening his restaurant in, like, four days. [00:32:50] Speaker B: I hear you, but those shouldn't be your reasons as to why it should stop you. I personally just feel like it's wrong to withhold something as intense as that. That's someone he's choosing to spend his life with and share his success with. I know it may not be easy to come forth with, but I don't feel like it should be any easier to keep it to yourself. [00:33:11] Speaker A: You're right. This is just so hard. I hope that it's maybe not as big of a deal in their relationship or something. He cheated on her once a while back. I don't know. In the moment. I told her that he is my brother and that I view her as the best thing that ever happened to him. And that I think that maybe she just sees a lot of me, of him in me, and that's why she's feeling this way because we are like one in the same. And I told her it's not bad to feel something for people, but it's bad to act on it. And I said that her telling me was a bad thing. And then I talked about how much they have committed to their relationship and how much he loves her. She was being a little touchy, a little touchy, too. And she honestly tried to kiss me and I moved out of the way. She was drunk, too. I'm just saying this because I need to get it off my chest right now. You're the only person who knows. She also said that she didn't feel like telling me was so bad because she knew she wasn't going to do anything physical physical about it. But then she tried to kiss me. And I'm literally living with them in Canada right now. Like, I don't have anywhere else to go. Do I wait until after the restaurant opens on New Year's to tell him? He's like over $10,000 in debt to her for this event in a few days where he plans to make his money back. There's so much work to do before. [00:34:40] Speaker B: Then, I don't know, it seems you need to say something and leave. And then, I don't know, it looks like it was that dick pic coming through. [00:34:55] Speaker A: He's like, well, maybe you. I'm going to shoot my shot. [00:35:01] Speaker B: So here's, you know, just kind of knowing now, mind you, I'm going to. I'm going to go back up. And she says, She says this. She says, Jimmy came to me telling me that his best friend's wife confessed his feelings to. Confessed her feelings to him. He said he didn't know what to do or how to proceed. Messages below for the direct context of our conversation. My notes after reading that. Not after reading that, but after reading the opening part. I didn't read these again. I was waiting. She does say at the end of all this note. This is not the first situation I have endured with him where he practically turns his back from the male friendship. However, it's the first time for the marriage situation. Overall advice, thoughts on Jim and I's friendship moving forward since I'm having trouble with his morals. Opinions, advice for the married couple, views on all aspects and those involved. So here's my thing. I have some insight because I know what I know. I've met Jim once. Okay. Jim's a little guy. [00:36:17] Speaker A: Okay? [00:36:18] Speaker B: Okay. Only met him once briefly is like maybe for an hour. We weren't engaging the whole time. He annoyed me. But I think he. He may not get this kind of attention because of his height and his personality. And so when he does, he kind of eats it up, you know, I think his lack of confidence, you know, because when you have short man syndrome, it's not something you can really help. However, you have to be comfortable with it. That's who you are, you know? But some guys aren't comfortable with it and therefore dictates their action. Right? And as I'm discovering writing this manuscript, it's an ecosystem. It's not. It's not a bunch of boxes that make up our life. Not a bunch of separate boxes. It's an ecosystem. Everything works together. Everything affects everything. So looking at Jim, just off the top, I think he's wrong. [00:37:21] Speaker A: Sure. [00:37:22] Speaker B: This is. This is supposed to be your boy. This is your boy. But looking at this, I just. [00:37:29] Speaker A: Brother. [00:37:32] Speaker B: Yeah. Like, I don't think it is his boy. [00:37:40] Speaker A: I think. I think people can think someone is their boy because pussy has never tested the friendship. [00:37:52] Speaker B: For sure. I got a friend like that. I'm gonna call him Buffalo Bill. [00:37:56] Speaker A: Matt. You could just call me by my name. [00:38:04] Speaker B: He's met Miami, and he's. He's made several comments about Miami. He's talked about how pretty she is, talk about how great she is. He's never asked me to go out as much until he met Miami. And so almost every weekend he's in town, he's like, hey, what are you guys doing? Or, hey, you know, he made a comment on New Year's Eve, like, hayes, does Miami have any. Any friends that are as hot as her? Or, you know, is she going to be the. Or any hot friends, or is she going to be the only one, is what he said. And I was like, okay, now, you know, she's. She thinks he's hilarious, thinks he's a great guy. I'm confident who I am. You know, if you're gonna. You're gonna do that, go do that. I don't give a. But I'm also confident who I am. But. However, I feel like if he had the opportunity, mind you, I think this guy's a good friend of mine, but I think if he had the opportunity and they were, and the situation was right, which means alcohol is involved, because you got to have something to blame it on, you know, And I. I wouldn't put it past him, you know, And I think he's a great guy, upstanding guy. I just. I think there's a part of him that would. Would walk into it intentionally because he is so attracted to her. I think this guy is trying to play. Yes. The card of, I'm the better man. I'm taking the high road. I'm not. But he's also all over the board. I mean, he talks about it almost sounds like at the very beginning, she said, jimmy, there's a reason I like having you around. You're the guy I figure I want. You're the guy figure I want in my life. I wish we met at another time, another way. Okay, that sounds very logical. Doesn't sound like a drunk person talking. You know, I could. I can see a drunk person saying it. But also, when it was first read, I read that as like, they're up. They're having. They're sitting on the couch or something. Everybody's kind of passed out. First question is, why the are you up with my girl at night? [00:40:19] Speaker A: I was gonna say, you know, that's a weird situation to. To be. [00:40:23] Speaker B: I had a buddy that lived with me that was like that. And every time I'd wake up, him and. And Big country were out back talking in the dark. They. You know. And wouldn't you know it, they end up dating. [00:40:37] Speaker A: After we separated, he was a buddy of yours, huh? [00:40:41] Speaker B: Yeah. Mm. Real buddy. [00:40:45] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:40:47] Speaker B: But. And I always brought something up. I said, it's weird that you guys talk in the dark, you know, and then we'd have arguments or whatever. He'd go talk to her at night and. And they would share. And so I think the fact that one he's alone with. With his. With is. Would it be. It's not his best man, but his best friend's wife at the. At night. I think that's weird. I think that's odd. Why are you putting yourself in that situation, especially drinking? It makes. Well, drinking. And it makes sense now when. When. Oh, she thought I was flirting with her too. Was that how it goes? I was flirting with her and showing signs of being into her also. Yeah, I think. I think you probably were. Especially if you're putting yourself in that situation that you're up with her alone, everyone. Once everyone was asleep in the Airbnb, and then she goes to kiss you, you move away. Now, I think the fact that you made her feel comfortable enough to kiss you. Yeah. You know, hey, I'm into you. Well, good night. I'm going to bed, you know. [00:41:57] Speaker A: Yeah, it clearly. I'll give you an escalation. [00:42:02] Speaker B: Yeah, I'll give you till noon tomorrow to tell. To tell Frankie what's up before I tell him. [00:42:07] Speaker A: Yeah, I think she Made a great point, which is the point. I mean, if I was gonna give this guy any advice, it would be like, hey, don't wait for her to say something, because, like, that's gonna happen as, I mean, or could happen at some point. I don't know. Maybe not. [00:42:29] Speaker B: I've never had it not happen. Bro. Every time I've slept with someone's girlfriend growing up, she went and told them. [00:42:40] Speaker A: Freaking loudmouth whores. [00:42:43] Speaker B: Yeah. Three out of three. [00:42:45] Speaker A: Three out of three. You know, that's despicable. [00:42:49] Speaker B: Told them, not proud of it. You know, like, I realized I was a horrible friend. But at the same time, long time. [00:42:59] Speaker A: Ago, they all went. [00:43:01] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, don't get me wrong. Was like, you know, 20, 21, 22. [00:43:07] Speaker A: Oh, for sure. [00:43:08] Speaker B: But. But at the same time, I mean, like, they went and told them, and next thing you know, I got guys at my door wanting to fight because. And something I couldn't really say, that didn't happen. [00:43:18] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:43:18] Speaker B: You know. [00:43:20] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:43:20] Speaker B: Hey, I was keeping her warm while you were in the pen. That don't really go over well. [00:43:25] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:43:25] Speaker B: You know. [00:43:28] Speaker A: Yeah, man. So. Yeah. The situation. The situation to begin with is crazy. Now I would have to know if I was prosecuting this case. I need to know it. Was it a situation where you were all up and then just one person at a time, like, started going to bed? Like, maybe the husband went to bed first and there were still, like, two other people up and then they went to bed. Because that's not their wife. So, like, they're not worried about it. They. They go to bed, and it just slowly becomes the two of them up. Or was it like he was up alone after everyone went to bed and she came back out? You know, like, what. What was the situation? [00:44:15] Speaker B: Here's the thing, you know, I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I'm gonna jump on this with you. No matter what the situation is. If they all. I. I don't think they all just passed out in the areas around them. [00:44:27] Speaker A: No, no, they went to bed. They're in room. [00:44:30] Speaker B: Yes. [00:44:30] Speaker A: They're not talking and having a conversation with people sleeping next to them. [00:44:35] Speaker B: Yeah. So. And nor is she trying to kiss him in front of. So there's that. Is it there on the porch in Canada? Doubt it. [00:44:46] Speaker A: No. [00:44:46] Speaker B: Because it snows a lot of January. [00:44:49] Speaker A: Or December at this point. [00:44:52] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:44:52] Speaker A: So your ramen is freezing outside. Your hot ramen will freeze in midair. [00:44:58] Speaker B: There is nothing. There is nothing that. That I can justify him and her being alone. If she came back Out. He's staying up. And she came back out. Well, I head to my room. I go to bed. All right, well, good night. [00:45:08] Speaker A: I was just heading out when you came out here. I was just heading to bed, you know, like, yeah, this guy. [00:45:16] Speaker B: No reason. And honestly, the. The line on. On number seven, the very last paragraph, he sends, says he's, like, over $10,000 in debt to her for this event. In a few days, if you would have told him, he probably wouldn't be $10,000 in debt to her at all. He probably say, hey, back your shit and go, yeah, I'm not paying you back. [00:45:44] Speaker A: And what does that mean to. To her, your $10,000 in debt to your wife? How the fuck. What does that mean? [00:45:50] Speaker B: Yeah, you're married. How's that. How's that work? You're married? [00:45:55] Speaker A: Or does. Or does. Or did Jimmy just mean that because he's $10,000 in debt, like, he owes her, that he owes the marriage to, like, make the money back when the restaurant. [00:46:07] Speaker B: I honestly think she came in with some money and paid for whatever event. And I'm thinking maybe this. This friend of his probably has a job and not a career. Like, the dude was probably living paycheck to paycheck. Maybe had a little bit of savings, but not enough to throw whatever buku event. But then again, he's opening a restaurant. Yeah, but you. You know, do you open a restaurant on nothing? And honestly, maybe that's why they're partners, because she has the money and he has the skill. [00:46:41] Speaker A: Maybe. [00:46:44] Speaker B: He gave her opening a restaurant together. [00:46:47] Speaker A: Yes. Yeah, he did say that. Now, did he just mean as a married couple, or does he mean, like, as a legitimate business? [00:46:56] Speaker B: Well, I think he means as she's the dollar, he's the skill. Right? He's the chef. He's gonna run the restaurant. It's his restaurant. It's his idea. But she's the backing. [00:47:06] Speaker A: See, you give a woman power like this, and she starts running out on you. She feels entitled to it. [00:47:14] Speaker B: Yeah. And what's this whole like? Well, he cheated on her, so I don't know. [00:47:19] Speaker A: So he's a fucking idiot too? Literally. I hope all three of these people die. I don't know what to tell you. This terrible situation. [00:47:31] Speaker B: And I have a question. [00:47:32] Speaker A: Okay. [00:47:33] Speaker B: Did they all ride back together for four hours and then eat? Because he kind of made it sound like it was just her. [00:47:40] Speaker A: That's what it sounded. I didn't even question that because it sounded so much like they were alone in the car together that I didn't even question whether he meant it. Was everyone. [00:47:52] Speaker B: Right? [00:47:54] Speaker A: Oh boy. [00:47:56] Speaker B: I don't know, man. I'm gonna give him the benefit of the doubt. And everyone was in the car. It was just awkward for him. [00:48:06] Speaker A: Well, what if the husband was off doing something restaurant related and like, couldn't be with them? [00:48:14] Speaker B: Yeah, maybe that's the. In the few days, maybe that's where he was doing his thing, you know. [00:48:21] Speaker A: And where were they? [00:48:22] Speaker B: Maybe that's why they were up in Canada. [00:48:23] Speaker A: Where were they going for four hours? [00:48:27] Speaker B: Maybe they live in Seattle. Oh, and they're going right across to Canada, which I can see. I think this dude moved up to Seattle. I think so from my understanding, this dude like hurt himself at work and he's, he's like living on workers comp. [00:48:47] Speaker A: Oh boy. [00:48:50] Speaker B: Yeah, one of those guys. Ah, dude, what's this generation coming to? Dude, I was talking to a chick a couple years ago and she goes, and she's one of my sister's friends and she's like, yeah, you know, like I was just talking about work. And she was like, yeah, you know, I got injured and she was telling me why she wasn't working. And I'm like, oh, okay. She's like, but I'm going back soon. Then I talked to my sister, my sister's like, oh yeah. I said, she told me she wasn't working. She goes, oh yeah, she told you about the mental health thing? Like, what do you mean? She goes, they were gonna fire her. And so she went in and said she needs three months off her for mental health, which they had to give her by law. [00:49:34] Speaker A: Oh my God. [00:49:35] Speaker B: So fmla, three months free, you know I'm talking about. Yeah, so she got three months free. So she knew they were gonna lay her off because of production, because she wasn't producing, she was in sales. And so she went in and said, hey, I, I need mental health, like leave. And it was, it was three months off, just automatic. And so then you got this jackass who's probably very capable of working if he's fucking kicking it in Canada and just running around town, but he can't work. And from my understanding, like he could, he could work. I don't know, I got a little bit of a bias because I just don't like this fucking kid. [00:50:18] Speaker A: Kid, sure. [00:50:19] Speaker B: You know, and nothing against stretch marks, but he has stretch marks energy at times, you know what I mean? Where he's not, he presents himself not real confident in himself. And so therefore like he comes off with a lot of energy, a Lot of impact, you know, kind of like, look at me like, like, look what I can do. Kind of like, like, Stuart, look what I can do. [00:50:46] Speaker A: I can do. [00:50:47] Speaker B: Yeah, like, look at me, look at me. You're like, I get it. You're like, dude, we're having grown up talk here, you know, and you know, stretch marks is, is better at that. But I remember when I first met him, I was just like, ah, like, I can't take too much of this guy. And I felt like that when I met this kid. Like, whoa, calm down, dude. You don't have to have a response to everything. Some things just let him chill. Like, let people guess sometimes, you know, don't, don't, don't give everything you got right away. Let people guess. Be a mystery, you know, I don't want to figure you out right away. You're not someone I really want to hang out with. So that's my overall advice. Is he. Yes. He should tell his best friend I. [00:51:33] Speaker A: Think he should end his life. [00:51:37] Speaker B: For sure. [00:51:38] Speaker A: This guy, from everything I'm hearing, I mean, this guy sucks. [00:51:43] Speaker B: I wouldn't be against it. [00:51:44] Speaker A: No, in all, in all seriousness, yes. Obviously that's the move. Because you can't wait around for her to say something and then like you withheld it from your brother, quote unquote. Your brother. Like that's. [00:51:59] Speaker B: Well, here's the thing, dude. I mean, you're in his shoes. Wouldn't you want your brother, your brother to tell you that. [00:52:05] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:52:05] Speaker B: Your brother's chick isn't into your brother. [00:52:09] Speaker A: Absolutely. But he's only thinking about himself. [00:52:14] Speaker B: He is, he is. [00:52:17] Speaker A: But at the same time, I understand not the situation he got himself into. But supposing that everything he's saying is true, that he did just sort of stumble ass backwards into the situation and that he had no control over this. I don't believe that. I think we've well established the case that, that he definitely brought this on in some way. But say, let's suppose everything he said was true. I do understand the impulse to just be like, I don't want to my friend's whole life up right now. Like, can I just go home and not think about this anymore? You know, like, like just let him open the restaurant and I'll tell him in a month when things cool down, you know, like, you know, I, I kind of understand that. I don't think it's right. It's not what I would do. [00:53:11] Speaker B: I understand it. But now let's look at this. If I tell you any later than the next hour, I'm gonna ask. Why the fuck didn't you tell me that? [00:53:23] Speaker A: Yeah, because you had so much going. [00:53:26] Speaker B: On in Canada on Christmas. [00:53:30] Speaker A: It's because you had a lot going on, man. You were stressed. I didn't want to add to it. [00:53:37] Speaker B: Yeah, I get that. There was plenty of opportunity. I'm sure I could pull some up. But you're talking about the trip in Canada that I invited you to that. [00:53:45] Speaker A: I paid for. [00:53:49] Speaker B: Even if I didn't pay for it. I mean, like, you were clearly an invite of mine. I wasn't going to your Canada trip. You were on our Canada trip. That's why you were in our car riding with us. That's why you stayed at my Airbnb that we paid for. It just doesn't sit right with me, bro. [00:54:07] Speaker A: Hold on. Give me one moment. [00:54:08] Speaker B: And. Oh, this. Sorry. [00:54:14] Speaker A: There's one in the backpack here. Okay, you can take the one in the backpack. Resume. [00:54:25] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh. I got a daughter like that as well. Yeah. Dad, where's my charger? Where'd you leave it? Go get it. You know what I mean? Like, sorry. We digress. Wow. The scowl that you gave her, she walking out right now. You're just, like, looking her up and down, like, from fucking in the middle, something. You know, this is my time. So the next thing you know, she had thoughts on her and Jim's friendship. As far as I go, yes. I think who you surround yourself with is. Is very important. Oh, she's smacking you. Is that why your camera went out. [00:55:08] Speaker A: Now I'm texting you something. [00:55:11] Speaker B: Oh, she is. I. I don't like people like this in my circle. I. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't agree with it. So as far as their relationship, I mean, number one in. In Jimmy's relationship. I don't know, man. I mean. [00:55:39] Speaker A: You. First of all. [00:55:41] Speaker B: Oh, she was unwrapping a new purse. Oh, a new purse. And that's why you scowled. Okay, all right. [00:55:46] Speaker A: That's weird. I didn't. I didn't think we had the money for that. But anyways, they're from. [00:55:56] Speaker B: First of all, it's been a good night in Tips, first of all. [00:55:59] Speaker A: And there could be some validity to that. She's had some very good nights. I. Yes, you're absolutely right. Don't surround yourself with people like this. It sounds like this guy sucks. Whatever. All sorts of people I love have friends that I hate, and I don't get what they see in them. Whatever. Beauty's in the eye of the beholder. This guy commands a lot of drama. I'm just gonna say, because you've mentioned now that this is not the first situation that you've seen him through as a friend where he's, like, blown up another friendship. You're just watching him blow up friendships left and right. And the only reason that it hasn't happened between you and him is because he wants that. He wants that. My theory, My conspiracy theory, that the whole reason he told her this story was not for advice or to vent or to get it off his chest or whatever. He's trying to show her that other women like him, other women are attracted to him. And not for nothing, he may be taking any reason to get on the subject of sex with her just to even talk about it. [00:57:15] Speaker B: Well, you make a good point. And it's not just other women. These women are married, they're committed. [00:57:21] Speaker A: They're about to fuck their whole life up for some of this. [00:57:26] Speaker B: You know, I'm saying you can have it all for free. I get where you're coming from. I just. I don't know if I would trust someone like this, because now let's take a step back. Someone does something to me, my boyfriend, number one. I'm number one. My boyfriend goes out and does something with you, are you gonna tell me, you know. Mm. Is there a limit to your friendship with me now? Doubtful. Because you like me. You're probably gonna be the first to tell me my boyfriend did something behind my back or did something that I should know about. However, what if you were tagged on with that? What if you were the antagonizer? And you can't really say. [00:58:10] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:58:11] Speaker B: That he did it, because it's gonna come back eventually to the. You lined it up. I don't know. However, I don't even want to play this game, so therefore, you're out of my service. [00:58:23] Speaker A: That's. That's what I'm saying, is that, like, even if this doesn't ever come to negatively affect her, this guy is high drama, and he gets himself into stupid situations. How long before that you just having him around? [00:58:40] Speaker B: Here's it. You. You. You've said it. High drama, poor character. [00:58:43] Speaker A: Yep. [00:58:45] Speaker B: Yep. High drama, poor character. [00:58:47] Speaker A: And so he wants to. You pardon my French. I'm certain of it after reading these text messages. They had almost nothing to do with her. I'm telling you, I've seen this move before. That's what's going on. So, like, you may have friend zoned him, but he. I don't think. I don't think he sees that as the end of that. [00:59:12] Speaker B: Oh, no. He's got hope that the dream is alive. He's got hope. He's like this. This is alive. This is. This is. This got a heartbeat on it. I'm it. [00:59:23] Speaker A: Yeah. And even. Okay, so I've already made the point of, like, I'm going to show you how attractive other women make me feel. They're going to blow their whole lives up for me. I want to get on a sexual topic with you just to talk about it. Just to be on that topic in and of itself is just exciting. I'm gonna take it even. And I hope I didn't just forget what I was gonna say. Oh, I had such a good point. Oh, my God. I talked too long, I rambled too long, and I lost it. It'll come back. [00:59:56] Speaker B: He's the corner. Oh, yeah. [00:59:58] Speaker A: Third body. Still one third point is that getting advice from her and. And divulging all of these details is a form of intimacy. And that's what for sure. [01:00:17] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:00:18] Speaker A: He wants a bonding. [01:00:22] Speaker B: If. If it were me that this happened to, I would be straight up. Because I'm asking him to be straight up. I'd be straight up with him, and I'd say, hey, look, you've shared some stuff with me about your best friend, your brother, the man that you were best man at his wedding. Like this dude you are so close with, and you're not going to share something that you, I think you would want shared with you. I know I would want it shared with me. And therefore, I think not only because of this. This incident, but also the incident with Frank in the past and with whatever in the past. I'm just gonna say I think you put yourself. You make poor decisions and you have poor character. And because of that, I personally don't really care to pursue a friendship with you any longer. I'd be straight up. I wouldn't sugarcoat it. Because we're asking him not to sugarcoat what happened with. With his brother's. His best friend's wife. I wouldn't sugarcoat it either. I'd just be like, hey, look, you poor character. And quite frankly, like, I don't. I don't surround myself with poor character. I just don't. I don't want poor character. I don't want to have to question your character on anything that is trivial. We go out one night and something happens at a bar. I don't want to have to question your character. I get roofied by Someone else at the bar, I'm going to question if it was you or not. You know what I mean? Something happens at a restaurant or at a bar when we're out. I don't know, something happens in a public atmosphere. There is a chance that you, anything trivial that you are involved with. I cannot trust you. Anything trivial? Yeah, that's a shitty thing. [01:02:18] Speaker A: So it, it reminds me of a situation that I put myself in. Not I wasn't involved in the actual moral failing, but I hijacked the situation for my own gain. And I told you about it a few years ago when I was visiting you guys out in Arizona. But yeah, so you know this one, you know this one already. I'll make it short and sweet. My ex girlfriend made known to me that while she was on a trip with a married couple, she hooked up with the husband while the wife was sleeping. And I said, this is Bigfoot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I said, interesting. [01:03:06] Speaker B: Wow. [01:03:07] Speaker A: So with, I don't know, maybe six clicks, I figured out who this person was, who they were, found their address, found their phone numbers, found everything about them online. And I called the wife and I told her what happened. And so most people who I asked advice of said I would not have done that. And I see the arguments on all sides. I think I had a very like self important, self righteous attitude about it at the time. I think in reality I was just trying to fuck people over. But you know, because I've had time to think about it, but so I would just ask. It's different obviously, because one person is directly involved and, and I was not, but like, is there a difference between this guy ignoring the situation and not telling his friend and a difference between that and like me finding out about a situation and choosing not to tell the wife about it because like I had all the same arguments, dude, I said I might save you 10 years. Like you might, you might end up having a kid with this guy and then find out about this 10 years from now and then you get divorced. You know what I mean? Like I be saving your life. Like I had, I had every justification in the world for, for letting this information out. You know. [01:04:37] Speaker B: I'm not gonna lie to you. My follow up to this was if number one knows the couple, I think number one should tell the couple. [01:04:49] Speaker A: Good point. I didn't, Yeah, I didn't even think of that. Yeah. [01:04:52] Speaker B: And, and honestly, I dropped the fucking bomb of like, hey, Jimmy knew about this. Like, well of course Jimmy knew about it. But I, I would, I would drop the Bomb of I canceled Jimmy to tell you and he wouldn't. So I'm gonna tell you because I think you deserve to know. I. I would blow Jimmy's spot up. [01:05:16] Speaker A: Here's the question though. Here's the question. How long does she wait? Because you can't do it right now because you don't know for sure that Jim, you can't know for sure that Jimmy's not going to tell him. And if Jimmy decides to tell him two days from now, you're him over big time when he eventually did the right thing, even though it was wrong timing. But if you give him. If you give him a month, then you're putting yourself in the same position as Jimmy because now this guy is going to be like, well, why didn't you tell me sooner? You know what I mean? [01:05:48] Speaker B: Well, that's the thing. Jimmy's window passed. Yeah. When? The weekend, I guess. [01:05:52] Speaker A: Yeah, you're right. [01:05:53] Speaker B: Jimmy's window closed upon that weekend. [01:05:56] Speaker A: It closed the second when they got. [01:05:58] Speaker B: Back in that car to travel. [01:06:00] Speaker A: Chose not to go to bed. [01:06:04] Speaker B: Yeah. The fact that you told someone in a completely different country. I'm gonna go that far. In a completely different country, you chose to tell someone about what's going on in a completely different country. Now, I don't think she knows him because he made the point to say I was the best man at his. [01:06:22] Speaker A: What's that guy? [01:06:23] Speaker B: I think if she knew he said. [01:06:25] Speaker A: The words it's that guy. [01:06:26] Speaker B: If she knew. Yeah. Okay, so I don't think she knows him. [01:06:30] Speaker A: She knows of him. [01:06:31] Speaker B: However she knows of him. And I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be hard to find him on insta. [01:06:37] Speaker A: Literally not or. [01:06:39] Speaker B: Or TikTok or. Or even X. I don't know. But I would goes. I would go. I'd go that extra mile and actually bring it up and be like, hey, like Jimmy didn't want to tell you, but he told me and I think it's poor character on Jimmy's half. And I have, I have not only the know how to locate you, so I figured you should know. [01:07:05] Speaker A: Yep. [01:07:07] Speaker B: Your girl came on to Jimmy, tried to kiss him, said she had feelings for him, that he's the man she wanted to be with. I'll show you the text. Here you go. Do with it what you will. I'm out of here. Dude, I would drop that. I would. I would drop that. What do you do when you walk into a room? You. Dude, I would just. I leave the elevator with that fart just lingering in there. Dude, you Know what I mean? I step in, just be and leave. [01:07:35] Speaker A: And hit all the buttons. [01:07:38] Speaker B: You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And leave Jimmy on that. Leave Jimmy on that elevator with them, I guess. [01:07:46] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, it's, it's tough. So. So would you have done the same thing I did in my situation? [01:07:55] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:07:56] Speaker A: Okay. Cuz when I told you before, you said you wouldn't have. [01:08:07] Speaker B: Yes and no. Okay, let's get. I think at this point in my life. I think at this point in my life, yes. I think at that point in my life, I'm all about light. [01:08:22] Speaker A: Like. [01:08:23] Speaker B: And I'm not saying, like, I'm so holier than thou know, but truth is truth, bro. And I think you did the right thing. And although I might have said no in the past, I. I think, yeah, I. I think, yeah, I'd say something. [01:08:38] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:08:40] Speaker B: And I should have told you. Yeah. Then I just think I like the idea back then of the whole, ooh, in the dark. You know what I mean? I'm not gonna lie. Like, that gets me off and I'm trying to retrain my mind. [01:08:56] Speaker A: Sure. Yeah. I. I don't know. I don't know because so, so you, you were not. I remember I asked five people. I can't remember who they all are, but I, I kept things anonymous to, to protect the guilty. But I asked like, my pastor and a good friend of mine and like a friend at work and a bunch of people. Four out. Tell the wife what you know, get out of the situation. Almost. Almost exactly. Only one guy who I worked with said, don't, don't do this. And his reasoning was faulty, I think. But you know something worth considering? He was like, you just have no idea what the consequences of this are going to be, you know, he's like, what if one of these people kills themselves? And I said, yes, I hope, I hope all three of them die in a suicide pact together for sure. I have no problem with that whatsoever. But. But he was just like, what? I mean, like, dude, what if one of these people ends up, you know, being in a position to save your life? And it's just, you know, like, you have no idea, like, what could come from this, but like, it wasn't a good enough reason not to tell the truth, especially in a situation as serious as that, in my opinion. [01:10:24] Speaker B: What was my reasoning? [01:10:29] Speaker A: Oh, I think. I don't remember for sure, but I think you might have said, you don't know if it's true, which is a very good point. [01:10:39] Speaker B: Thank you for making that up. Because I doubt I said that. [01:10:42] Speaker A: Well, someone said that, and I don't think it was that other guy, so I think. I think it was you after the fact, because I think you're the only other person I told. [01:10:51] Speaker B: Yeah, I remember you telling me, and I'm not gonna lie, it kind of. [01:10:56] Speaker A: Were you guys together when that happened? No. [01:11:01] Speaker B: Oh, no, it was after. [01:11:02] Speaker A: It was, like, one week after. [01:11:07] Speaker B: Which I'm glad. [01:11:08] Speaker A: Which pissed me off, I think. [01:11:12] Speaker B: Oh, for sure. You know, it's funny because I ran into her. I don't know if you guys were together, but we were leaving, like, I think I told you before, like, a wine and paint thing. And I ran into her, like, in San Clemente as we were leaving. Me and. Me and big country man, if her feet weren't so big. Pretty girl, though, you know? Yeah. But, I mean, I'm not gonna lie. Like, I'm. It's kind of a turn on to know that she would just creep in and be like, hey, give me that dick, put it in my mouth. [01:11:55] Speaker A: Was presented much more as a victim thing. [01:12:00] Speaker B: What? [01:12:00] Speaker A: Yeah. Unwilling. [01:12:04] Speaker B: Oh, no, that's no fun. Not into that kind of stuff. [01:12:08] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't know. [01:12:09] Speaker B: Oh, okay. [01:12:14] Speaker A: I mean, whatever. I mean, look, we're all just trying to have a good time here, So. [01:12:27] Speaker B: Yeah, I don't. I think you did the right thing, honestly. Okay. I can't find a reason why I wouldn't think it was the right thing. Even if they committed suicide. That's your. You being honest and telling the truth has no dictation on their reaction. [01:12:44] Speaker A: Yeah. It's still the wrong act that made the suicide happen, so. Like, I. That wouldn't have fucked with me at all, honestly. [01:12:53] Speaker B: Yeah, no, no, the. The suicide happened because the husband's infidelity. It didn't happen because you told on the husband. [01:13:04] Speaker A: Yeah. Oh, and by the way, she didn't believe me, so it was sort of a waste. It was sort of a waste. [01:13:12] Speaker B: Oh, no. [01:13:13] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. [01:13:16] Speaker B: Oh, so what you walked into was a threesome, and she didn't tell you that it was a threesome? She tried to make it seem like. [01:13:21] Speaker A: I got it, that I was like. [01:13:23] Speaker B: Yeah, that didn't happen. It's like, oh, okay. You were in on it. Okay. Hey, I've been there. Yeah. It's kind of weird, but I've been there. [01:13:30] Speaker A: I found out later that she had actually confessed and the wife didn't believe her either. So then unknowingly, like, four months later, I just called up and dropped the same information. Just threw A monkey wrench into their Saturday. [01:13:50] Speaker B: Wow. All right, so anyways, yeah. As far as the couple now, let's say, let's put ourselves in the couple's shoes. You know, we got $10,000 invested into business together. I confessed and tried to kiss your best friend, your best man at your wedding. We working through it. What are we doing? [01:14:12] Speaker A: Well, she didn't. I wouldn't say she didn't do anything because if I understand the text messages correctly, she tried to kiss him. So, I mean, I consider that. And you'd have to ask number one to, you know, kind of shed more light on that. Or maybe. Maybe we know everything she knows now. But you. [01:14:33] Speaker B: You know what? Hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up. I just realized something, and I don't know if you realized it. I'm just late to the. To the ball game. Didn't he say they just got married four days ago? [01:14:45] Speaker A: I didn't think so. [01:14:50] Speaker B: Pretty sure they got married four days. [01:14:54] Speaker A: Ago, and they just got married. I was his best man. All I remember him saying was they just got married. [01:15:11] Speaker B: Okay. [01:15:16] Speaker A: Well, I mean, that would explain the money thing, though. If they invested the money together before they were married, that explains that $10,000 thing. It does, man. We would be great investigators. We really should start a PI Firm. [01:15:36] Speaker B: PI Worldwide. Worldwide. [01:15:39] Speaker A: I mean, we wouldn't take cases that mattered, but we'd have a lot of fun. [01:15:47] Speaker B: I could do shit like this all day, bro. [01:15:48] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:15:49] Speaker B: You know, send me the text message of you and your friend. Let's figure out who's fucking who. [01:15:54] Speaker A: You know, I bet you if you gave us two days, we could find the Airbnb. [01:16:01] Speaker B: You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Just got married. I think, dude. I think this was. He brings up being the best man. I just got married. I think they just got. I think this was their. He says they just got married. I was his best man. Fast forward, he says I didn't have service all day. The thing is, I was literally the best man at his wedding. Like, this is that guy. I think. I think this was their wedding. Like, their wedding trip. I think, like, they went to Canada and got married in Canada at some, like, venue. [01:16:46] Speaker A: That would make a lot of sense. She wasted no time, huh. [01:16:54] Speaker B: Dude? Yeah, this is really weird, dude. [01:16:56] Speaker A: Liberate this place. Poor man. This poor fool from this succubus. [01:17:11] Speaker B: Yeah. I don't know, bro. I mean, the fact that he's like, I'm hurting internally from this. Hey, sorry. I just got done watching a movie. We were. [01:17:18] Speaker A: Yeah, I thought that was funny too. Sorry. We were just watching Shallow Hal and I. Princess Bride is actually much better than you remember it being. Anyways, this is tearing me up inside, you know? [01:17:43] Speaker B: Yeah, I don't know, man. I. I would cut ties with this cat straight up about it, and honestly, I'd look at the dude's Instagram, figure out what pictures he took at the wedding, find the groom. I'll let the groom know. Hey, boom. I wouldn't. I would just send him the text messages, like, here you go. [01:18:04] Speaker A: You know, buddy, I bet I can find this guy. Let me get on Instagram right now, see if I get. [01:18:10] Speaker B: Get dude. Okay, I'm about to do it too, bro. You got the name? [01:18:14] Speaker A: Yep, I got. [01:18:15] Speaker B: You have number one's name, right? [01:18:17] Speaker A: Yeah, we follow each other. [01:18:20] Speaker B: Okay, perfect, bro. [01:18:22] Speaker A: So you got the name from Fish in a Barrel. [01:18:26] Speaker B: You know, I'm saying I feel like I could get this too, bro. [01:18:30] Speaker A: Oh, why'd she delete all of her posts? [01:18:35] Speaker B: Who? [01:18:37] Speaker A: Number one. [01:18:37] Speaker B: Number one. [01:18:38] Speaker A: Yeah. Okay, I got three possibilities, and I'm going with this guy. Count is private. [01:18:54] Speaker B: I might out this cat. I might out this cat just on. On Just. Just out him and just give his. His Instagram to the peeps. [01:19:05] Speaker A: Don't do that. Okay. All of the guys with that name on her profile are private, so I can't. But I guarantee you, if you got in there, you would see the wedding photos and you could find the husband. [01:19:25] Speaker B: I don't. [01:19:26] Speaker A: And then send him a link. Send him a link to this podcast. Don't even tell him what happened. Just send him a link to this podcast. [01:19:37] Speaker B: You imagine. [01:19:38] Speaker A: Oh, how embarrassing. Oh, this poor guy. [01:19:43] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:19:43] Speaker A: No, dude, now you can't. [01:19:45] Speaker B: Number one should send him a link and then after he listens to it, be like, you shared with your. And then just be like, yeah, that's how I'm telling you we're not friends anymore. What? [01:19:59] Speaker A: Their thoughts are exactly my thoughts. You are a bad person. I mean, like, okay, outside of getting. [01:20:07] Speaker B: It was the three namer. That was the one with three names. [01:20:11] Speaker A: That's the. The last one on the list. That's the one I thought it was. I looked in that. I looked in that face and I saw Bitch. [01:20:20] Speaker B: Huh? [01:20:21] Speaker A: Yeah, he's a weird looking cat. [01:20:28] Speaker B: Yeah. And he's like, I don't know, four, five foot two or some. Five foot four. Yeah. Small guy. [01:20:35] Speaker A: That's not always. That's not always a hindrance, man. [01:20:39] Speaker B: You got to remember Rico. Rico. [01:20:42] Speaker A: See Freezy, dude, he pulled. [01:20:45] Speaker B: I requested to follow him. Yeah. No, I'm. I'm not going to lie. Rico Suave. That my client, he's not the tallest guy. I think he's a couple inches shorter than me. And I'm not. I'm only five eight. That dude. I'm five nine, five ten with boots on. That's what I usually. I'm never barefoot. Okay, guys. Sure. So. [01:21:10] Speaker A: But you're above average. [01:21:11] Speaker B: That dude. That dude has the confidence of a fucking giant dude, and he pulls ass. Like, his girlfriend currently is 28, 29, and he's 50. Nice. You know? [01:21:26] Speaker A: Nice. [01:21:26] Speaker B: Yeah, we roll in the same company, but I've just switched up and gone with the older nurse. [01:21:33] Speaker A: Well, I mean, I think we've blown this case wide open. Unless she can send us a screenshot of this dick pic or whatever. This is at the bottom of the last screenshot that I can't see. [01:21:43] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm not quite sure what that is. [01:21:45] Speaker A: Is that it looks like a reflection, but it's clearly like a picture that he sent. I see a door. [01:21:52] Speaker B: Yeah. I'm not gonna lie. He's. He's probably gonna message me after he accepts my. Hey, dude. And I'm gonna be straight up and just be like, yeah, I was just looking at what wedding you were going to and who. The guy. [01:22:04] Speaker A: Oh, dude, dude, Not. Not until number one makes the decision to end this friendship. If she makes that decision, then you do whatever you want, but, like, you can't blow that up for her. [01:22:19] Speaker B: Yeah, you're right. Right. [01:22:22] Speaker A: Oh, man. But no, you're. You're absolutely right. I. I think he's a negative presence. I think that you are the product of the five people you spend the most time with. I think that's more than enough reason to. And by the way, this is just the guy who gives you a ride somewhere and his tire blows out. You know, you don't want that heat. You don't want to get caught up in something dumb just because dumb things happen to this guy. [01:22:52] Speaker B: You know what I mean? And not only that, but was that a. Was that a true blowout? You know, did his tire really blow out? Or was it like, this is going to be the perfect situation for me and her to have some alone time. [01:23:09] Speaker A: We're gonna bond, trip. Yep. [01:23:12] Speaker B: Mm. Shittier part is, it was her car. You know what I mean? [01:23:22] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:23:23] Speaker B: There's the shittier part. When you find out the blowout happened. [01:23:25] Speaker A: On your car, there are just. There are just people who gravitate things like this, and you're just better off getting out of their orbit. Hey, gravity orbit. I didn't even mean to do that on purpose. [01:23:46] Speaker B: No, you're right though, bro. You are so right. There are some people that, like. I don't know, man. I can't say they. They breed it, but they do, bro. Like, they just. They just do, you know? Like, it's almost like they're getting what they put out there. Yeah, I don't know. [01:24:06] Speaker A: Yeah, man. So what advice would you give to Jimmy? Let's say he's lost number one as a friend. He's lost the. The. The husband as a friend. Even the wife doesn't want anything to do with him. Now he's all alone and he realizes he up big time. What do you tell him? [01:24:32] Speaker B: I say, hey, look, all you have. All you have is you, is you. That's all you have. Your integrity, your character. Like, that's all you, you have. When you. At the end of the day, that's all you have is who you are. So you can go to your friend and say, hey, this is really hard, but I gotta do it. That says a lot about you as a man. It also says a lot about you when you say, hey, like, this is really hard. So I didn't do it. Okay. I want to say in the first, not to reference the book, but there's a part. There's a part in here that transitions from, like, the opening of. Of like what I, what I'm. What I'm. What we're jumping into. And it just jumps right into this line right here. It says, every man knows what he should do. That's the mental seed. Very few men actually do it. That's the physical fruit. Why? Because between the thought and the action lies resistance. Fear of failure, fear of discomfort, fear of change. The gap between having a plan in your head and taking action with your body filled by one thing. Courage. What's the definition of courage? Do not mistake our definition. Courage. Do not mistake the man. I'm just going to say the man. The guy. For a man who feels no fear, do not mistake that this man I'm trying to make you become has no fear. No, no, no. Fear is biological. It is data warning you of risk. Cowardice is letting fear dictate your action. Courage is feeling the fear, acknowledging the risk, and executing the mission anyways. We do not train to eliminate fear. We train to function inside of it. So he can take the coward road and not tell his buddy, or he could take the road that says, hey, look, I'm gonna. I'm gonna do the Hard thing. And I'm gonna tell you. I'm gonna tell you as much as I didn't want to, because, like, you're my friend and I didn't want this to ruin your marriage. I. I can't live with it. I'm sorry that it took me 17 days to tell you. I'm sorry that it took me this long to tell you, but I was honestly struggling with it, and I didn't. I thought maybe if I just eliminated myself. Here's the other question. If this is the situation, have you eliminated yourself from their relationship? Have you stopped going around? Yeah. [01:27:16] Speaker A: Like, have you seen them since this trip? [01:27:19] Speaker B: Yeah. And how was that? Did they come to your house to talk to you? Like, hey, dude, haven't seen you a while? Or did you go hang out with them or answer their call and say, yeah, come over. I'll be over there that night. We'll have some more beers. This is not gonna be the first time you guys are drunk in a situation. It's not gonna be the first time you're in this type of atmosphere of drinking with your buddies, you know, so I can see him not telling him. And then when the dude's like, hey, how come you don't come around no more now that I'm married? How come, like, we aren't friends anymore? Well, dude, this is what happened. Your lady came on to me. I didn't know how to tell you. I thought the best thing was just eliminating myself from your situation, from your guys's relationship, in hopes that it would save your marriage. But if you're not doing that and you're going around them still continuously, and it's just eating you up inside. Nah, bro, I'm. I'm calling BS on that. It's not eating you up inside. You're eat. You're eating it up. You're eating up the attention. You're eating up the fact that this dude's doing with his life. He's married. He's got a restaurant. His wife has some money, enough to give him $10,000, but she wants you. She has everything in the world for success and a happy marriage. But she wants. She wants old Jimmy. That's you eating it up. If you're putting yourself around it, it's not eating you up. You're eating it up. You love it, and that should say a lot about you. Like, that's not somebody I want in my circle. [01:28:55] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:28:58] Speaker B: I want a man who knows he's confident himself, but walks with humility, you know, walks with meekness. Meekness is not weakness. It's power under control. Walk with some dignity. Walk with some purpose. Walk with some integrity. Walk with some conviction. That's what sets you apart from everybody else. The dude probably has a ton of acquaintances and quote unquote friends that won't tell him the hard truth. You're supposed to be that motherfucker that tells him the hard truth. It's funny that you know where his dead bodies lie? You know where his dead bodies are buried? [01:29:36] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:29:37] Speaker B: You know he cheated on his. You know that he cheated on his. His current wife when she was a fiance, probably. [01:29:43] Speaker A: I just realized he didn't say whether she knew about that. [01:29:49] Speaker B: Yeah, he didn't. [01:29:50] Speaker A: So was that something they went through together and she's getting back at him or is that something only he knows about and so he doesn't feel as bad? [01:30:01] Speaker B: Yeah, because there's different ones. A hall pass, like a revengeful hall pass. And the other one is, I don't know. But he's using it as justification of why he doesn't have the same. Say anything. [01:30:16] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:30:17] Speaker B: Whether she knows or not, it's almost like, well, their whole marriage is up. So I'm just going to step out. But you're. And I'm okay with that. I'm okay if you want to step out, but again, if you're not going to observe the holidays, get your ass up and go to work. You know what I mean? [01:30:36] Speaker A: Yeah, call back. [01:30:38] Speaker B: But if you're going to observe you. Yeah, if you're going to step out, step the out and stop visiting them. Yeah, step the out and cut off the relation, the relationship. [01:30:48] Speaker A: So, so your advice to him, if all of this blows up and he's got nobody, your advice is what? [01:30:57] Speaker B: No, my advice is you tell him. And if you can't tell him. [01:31:00] Speaker A: No, no, we're past that. He found out from someone else, it comes out. He found out from someone else. It's blown up. Their marriage is blown up. Their friendship. He's not friends with number one anymore because she didn't want to be friends with someone of that moral character. Now, now what do you tell this guy for advice? Where. Where's he going from here? [01:31:23] Speaker B: All right, so it's, it's, it's blown up to where he is. He's lost her friendship up big time friend's friendship. Where does he go from here? He comes my way because I got. [01:31:39] Speaker A: A book for him. [01:31:40] Speaker B: The. We start addressing boyhood survival and manhood significance. But no, you. I think if I were, if I were an Influence in his life. I would tell him he really needs to take a step back and evaluate himself in this situation. Himself. Take a step back. What got you here? What part of your character got you here? That's what you really need to do. But from what I've heard, he almost has, like, an arrogance about him that his shit don't stink. Like, he is just like, oh, I've made it. You know, Like, I'm. I'm that guy. You know, those that walk around, they're like, I'm that guy. And you're like, yeah, you're. You're that guy. Except for we just say we put the wrong and fastest on the wrong syllable. You know, he is, from what I understand, she said, he is just one of those guys that doesn't think he has any. Any growing to do. Like, he's. He's there, you know, he. He knows he's smart. And from what I understand, he's pretty intelligent, but he knows he's smart. He can walk his, you know, work his way around. She did say he's liberal. Another reason I don't like him. But I personally don't care about that. I just don't like him. I don't like. I don't like. I even don't like him more now. [01:33:03] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:33:03] Speaker B: Than before. So I would like to get this out in the next couple days so I could follow up with her and be like, hey, yeah, Sue, I know you got the end of my podcast. You mind if I say something? You know, trying to figure out what wedding you went to. Yeah. What friends, Opening a restaurant. You know, I just. [01:33:27] Speaker A: I would just tell him, like, look, dude, it sounds like you burn a lot of bridges, and it's just easier for you to just end friendships than to deal with your shit. I would just caution you to not get into the shit in the first place. Like, the next time you make a friend or if you have any left, resolve right then and there that you're gonna be loyal to this person and that you're not gonna pull any shit because it seems like that's what keeps happening to you over and over again. [01:33:59] Speaker B: Yeah. And it sucks, but it's like you have a thing for number one. Cool. You've ruined it already. You've shown poor character as a person. There's no way someone. A woman that is looking for a man. Man. Is going to be with someone that has that kind of character. You keep up friendships because it sounds like it's been with a girl before. She just wasn't married. And so it's kind of just like. Yeah. And again, I think it's. I think he. I think he gets off on it because again, he's. He's small. And what was shared with me was that he. He got with somebody else's. Not girlfriend, but a girl, was into this girl, was into this guy, which was his friend, and then he ended up hooking up with her, and then they didn't really like, it kind of spoiled the whole situation of her and this other guy getting together because. Because he kind of, like, dipped in and, like, hooked up with her. So for me, yeah, I think this guy just gets off on having that. That. That. That card in the deck. [01:35:16] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:35:16] Speaker B: Which kind of lines up with what I was saying, the fact that this girl has everything and yet she's choosing me. You know what I mean? [01:35:26] Speaker A: Yep. [01:35:26] Speaker B: She's a. She's a. I think he's eating it up, or. I think he's eating it up. [01:35:32] Speaker A: The people that he's The. The only chicks he's around are his buddy's girlfriends. And that's why this keeps happening, because he's not. He doesn't have the confidence to go out and find his own chicks. [01:35:48] Speaker B: Well. Or he does. And, like, number one, they just want to friend zone him because. [01:35:53] Speaker A: Yeah, but that's a lack of confidence. [01:35:54] Speaker B: 1. It is. It's a lack of confidence and character. [01:35:58] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:35:59] Speaker B: You know? Yeah. You're funny. That's great. Let's bring the jester around. But as far as character, you're not the dude, you know? I mean, but you. As far as character, you're not the night I'm calling to defend me. You're the dude I'm calling when I need a good joke. [01:36:13] Speaker A: Yeah. That's so sad. [01:36:16] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah, it is. [01:36:22] Speaker A: Well, there was probably. There was probably a brighter note to end on than that, but I think we passed it. [01:36:34] Speaker B: How do we go about. So when I. I do have a question I want to circle back on, it's totally off topic. Celebrity death pool. [01:36:44] Speaker A: Okay. [01:36:47] Speaker B: When. When is. Is it within the. The annual year? Like the fiscal year? Like, December 31st. We see who has the highest points, they get paid out. Okay. Next year, can we up the ante a little bit or bring in more people? Like, bring in more. More participants? Not more celebrities. More to our participants. Because I would like to, like. I'd like a larger sum. [01:37:14] Speaker A: Sure. Yeah. [01:37:16] Speaker B: I don't think. [01:37:17] Speaker A: I don't. [01:37:17] Speaker B: I don't think It's a bad 3, 4, or 5. [01:37:19] Speaker A: I don't think it's a bad sum for what we're putting in. I will say that. [01:37:24] Speaker B: What is the sum? [01:37:25] Speaker A: Let's check it. [01:37:28] Speaker B: I thought you said. And while you're at it, we might as well, just for shits and giggles, check our listener. [01:37:34] Speaker A: Oh, I got one today. I got a death today, so I'm probably in the lead. [01:37:39] Speaker B: Who'd you get, bro? [01:37:40] Speaker A: Dude, it actually makes me sad. Scott Adams. [01:37:46] Speaker B: Really? [01:37:46] Speaker A: Yeah, he's the, he's the guy who made the Dilbert comics. He, he was sick for a while. He passed away yesterday. He wrote Dude, I think I did. [01:37:56] Speaker B: You know, he was sick for a while. [01:37:57] Speaker A: I did, yeah. It was, it was public. [01:38:00] Speaker B: You guys. [01:38:01] Speaker A: I, I, I will say he wrote an amazing book that I think I've told you about before called reframe your brain just a couple years ago that came out and. Okay, yeah. So it looks like first prize is up to 75 bucks, but four people have not put in their money yet. I'm still waiting on. So we're waiting on a hundred dollars. So the first prize will be 175 bucks. So for a $25 buy in, there is no second. Second is 50. [01:38:38] Speaker B: Okay. [01:38:39] Speaker A: Okay, so for a, for a $25 buy in, 175 bucks, that's like a 700% payout. So, I mean, that's not bad. I do hope to have more people next year and maybe we'd make it 50. [01:38:57] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm cool with that. I just kind of want something that's like, ooh. That really, you know, helped pay off. [01:39:04] Speaker A: It was, it was a pilot situation. I was kind of soft launching. [01:39:08] Speaker B: Totally understand. [01:39:09] Speaker A: Because, like, I, I do want to. [01:39:11] Speaker B: Know what monthly providence pics are. What does that mean? [01:39:14] Speaker A: You don't know about that? Oh, dude, no. [01:39:17] Speaker B: What is that? What does that play into every month? [01:39:20] Speaker A: 3. So I wrote a formula for the, the Google sheet to randomly pick three people from the Master roster every month. Those three people are worth an extra 100 points. [01:39:37] Speaker B: Oh, okay. So. But it's only for that month if they die. [01:39:42] Speaker A: Yes. [01:39:44] Speaker B: So if Harvey dies in February, I don't get the extra. [01:39:48] Speaker A: Unless he's randomly chosen in February. [01:39:53] Speaker B: I do like that. I do like that. Oh, I see. I see the breakout now. Okay, I don't see the point system really working right now. Everybody's got zero. [01:40:04] Speaker A: Yeah, I haven't updated my points, but I will. [01:40:10] Speaker B: I mean, I'm okay with that because they're not my points. Is there a way to, like, copy and paste all these people and just see who's died. [01:40:19] Speaker A: I tried that with ChatGPT and for some reason it would just give me like 20 of the people at a time. I'd give it however many we've got. We've got like 200 people on here, 265. And it would just give me like the 20 most famous people in the list. Like for some reason it didn't get what I was saying. So I would like to find a faster way to check on them because, you know, I. I'm left to just copying and pasting each name and googling it to see if they're still alive. Which is fine because I only do it like once a month, but it slows down progress. I was working on a way to basically use ChatGPT to constantly be checking the person's health status on Google and like integrate it into the Google sheet so that the cell would always be updated with whether they were alive or not. But it required an API and like a monthly subscription and stuff. So I just never did it. But there is a way to probably make that. [01:41:37] Speaker B: Okay, I did. I. You can do. You can do list. You can do a list. Like I did mine. I copied and pasted it and it broke it all up and was like, oh, it's pretty funny, dude, because that's a good point. [01:41:56] Speaker A: The individual lists are only 20, so that would be way easier for it to check. [01:42:02] Speaker B: So said, based on the current information available as of January 14, 2026, no, none of the individuals on your list have died. All of them are currently alive. Here's a breakdown of their current status and ages. Where to review? It's. It's under the assumption I'm going with. With this book thing. The centenarian and non agenarians, octogenaries, nine plus probably so it says 90. 90 plus. These icons are still with us, displaying remarkable longevity. And then it goes through like Dick Van Dyke, Clint Eastwood, all that. Then it says political and public figures. Then it lists like Joe Biden, Alan alda, Candace Owens, B.B. netanyahu. And then it says entertainers list. Those. Those ones I have. And this is entertainment. Incarcerated or legal issues? Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby, Roman Polanski, Sean Diddy, Combs. All alive and incarcerated. [01:43:02] Speaker A: I'm trying my list because I do have one person on there who's dead. So let's just see how good it is. Okay. Yep, they got it. Scott Adams. Died January 13th at the age of 1658. [01:43:36] Speaker B: Wow, dude. This is kind of crazy because like this chat gbt, whether I start a new chat or not. Pulls from previous ones. [01:43:44] Speaker A: Yep. [01:43:46] Speaker B: Like the fact that I'm doing my, my like research and, and, and like building of chapters on Gemini. It thinks I was pulling that for my book. [01:44:01] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [01:44:01] Speaker B: It's like, oh, hey, just for you. Yeah. These people. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like, keep that separate. I don't want you talking about the dead people in my book. You know, like just like aldinal wondering. Did I tell you about my pen pal? [01:44:17] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:44:17] Speaker B: Did I tell you? [01:44:18] Speaker A: All the time. [01:44:19] Speaker B: Oh, that was last one, right? [01:44:21] Speaker A: All the time. You talk about like a year. [01:44:24] Speaker B: Do you know why he's in? [01:44:25] Speaker A: No. [01:44:26] Speaker B: Do you know why he's in? Okay. So he hits me up. He says, hey, I don't really know what you look like. So I send him a picture of me in Miami from Christmas, Christmas party. He says, oh, wow, you guys are a beautiful couple. I didn't imagine you looking like that. I didn't imagine her looking like that. I would send a picture of me, but you can always see that on the doc. Apartment of corrections. So, okay, so I go to Department of Corrections. Look at this guy right next to it. Public. No, I mean public information. Says what he's in for. I'm gonna let you have a guess. [01:45:09] Speaker A: I mean, the worst one, child molestation. Oh, dude, how bad? [01:45:18] Speaker B: I know. So I'm like, wow, I don't really know how to process that for a moment. I'm like, oh, you know, like. Cuz I looked at it like the way you did. This is the worst of the worst, bro. I'm. I'm like running thoughts through my head, like, did you come to the Lord in prison because you knew? It's either that or a shank in the side, you know, like. Well, like, you know, I've been talking to him for over a year. He's been in for 11. So I kind of have to look at his fruit. You know, whether you came to the Lord because you didn't want to shank in the side and you played the, you know, the Jesus card, I can't judge that. I can judge your current fruit. You know, you help guys. You've started a college. You know, you've been a part of starting a college. You're working on curriculums, you know, you have a prayer group, you have a teaching group. Okay? So I respond with, God is crazy. God is. God is funny. I said, the thing you're serving time for, I'm a victim of. And I just kind of go in and do you know what? I'm gonna read it to you if I can. It was. It was kind of. It was. It was. It was something, bro. And I didn't. I. After I sent it, I was so worried about how he was gonna. Like I didn't know how he was gonna receive it. Respond. I wasn't sure. And so I put. I said, I looked up the doc. When people find out I have a pen pal, they ask what you're in for. I've never asked. So I just tell them I don't know. Funny how God works though. I'm a victim of what you're serving time for. When I was younger, a close friend of the family molested me for years. It messed with my head. I thought I was gay and I fantasized about guys because that was the only real sexual interaction I had. I was suicidal for a long time. The damage it did to me had a hold on me. It haunted me well into my 30s. Even into my early years of my 40s. I still feel the effects. He used to buy me peanut Butter M&MS. I love those. I still do. I still eat them. But never, not ever without thinking about Art. That is his name. Art. There are certain things present in my everyday life that bring him to mind. He taught me how to caress a woman when he used to caress me. So naturally, whenever my ex wife would ask to be tickled or caressed, I would think of Art. Art still lives in my head. But I refuse to let him rule me. That's why I still eat peanut butter M M's. He's not going to take that simple joy from me. He took my innocence. He took my purity. He took the years of peace. He took years of peace from me. He took so much more than what I could put into words. Just writing about it now brings about hurts. I thought I moved past, but that's what he's done. He has forever left his mark on my mind and soul. From it has grown a great burden within me to protect any and every child I come across. I think better me than someone who couldn't bear the scars and might have taken their own life. After seven suicide attempts, I realized God has greater things for me. And. And I accepted the fact that I can't quit. My father won't let me. And then I just went on another note. I've been pouring in the idea of creating something for men to be refined and set apart. And you know, I also started a subscription to this thing and you know, just kind of regular talk. [01:48:57] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:48:59] Speaker B: And kind of just let it go, and then I will let you know what he said, his response to me, and I haven't responded yet, he said, sorry to hear what happened to you. First he kind of started with, like. Kind of started with, like. I don't know. It was a little too casual for me. He was like, hey. He was like, hey, Max Headroom, how's it going? I'm doing good. When is your birthday? Mine is coming up on the 5th of February. I just found out that I have to preach a message in a couple weeks. I have such a hard time speaking. Speaking in front of others. I'm a quiet person as it is, and now I have to talk. How ironic. Well, I will. I guess I will see how it goes. So I'm like, this came off pretty. [01:49:47] Speaker A: Pretty nonchalant. [01:49:50] Speaker B: You know what I'm saying? So then he goes, I'm sorry to hear what happened to you. I also was molested. [01:49:55] Speaker A: I was wondering. [01:49:56] Speaker B: There were times that I thought I. Yeah, he said, there were times I thought I was gay too. But I realized that it wasn't my fault and that's not who I am. I'm sure I can write several emails telling you about why I'm here, but instead, I will give you the short version. I had an inappropriate relationship with my stepdaughter. We were always together. We did everything, like going to the mall, grocery stores, etc. One night, I was up watching TV on the. And the phone rang. I don't know why the fucking. Why it's relevant that the phone rang. One night, I was up watching TV and the phone rang. Everyone else was asleep except for me and her. She came out of the shower completely naked. I was confused and didn't know what to do. So I put a towel around her and walked her to her room. Nothing happened. But I let the temptation run wild in my mind. A short time later, we started fooling around. She was 14 at the time. And now I'm here, So, you know, not quite sure how to. How to really feel about that. [01:51:04] Speaker A: But now, was he saying, that's not me. To the victimhood or the perpetration? [01:51:17] Speaker B: What do you mean? That's not. [01:51:18] Speaker A: When he said the. I got. I got past it because I realized that's not me. [01:51:24] Speaker B: Oh, victimhood. [01:51:25] Speaker A: Okay. [01:51:27] Speaker B: Like, I had the same. I thought I was J2, but I got past because I realized that's not who I am. It's on him. [01:51:32] Speaker A: Yeah, because I was gonna say, like, as far as the perpetration goes, that is you. You did Those things. [01:51:41] Speaker B: Yeah, you know, I was confused. Didn't know what to do. I think you handled it initially right. You put a towel on her and told her you put her in a room. You know, I'm not gonna beat him up over it. It was a, you know, at least 11 years ago, outside of trial or whatever, I don't necessarily think I need to go in and be like, yeah, you did the right thing. You put a towel on her, put her away. However, like, you're a grown ass man. What are you doing? Like, entertaining. Like, does that really. Did that really turn you on? Mm. You know, like 18 year olds don't turn me on. They're grown women. They're 18. Their mental aptitude is fucking nothing. Yeah, sure, they got a banging body, maybe. I don't know. Who cares? I'm not interested in that. I'm interested in the whole woman. You know, we have a place out here called Bikini Bean. And I went there a couple times. I would take stretch marks. It's right, right around the corner from our job site. And you know, I thought, you know, it's just coffee. You drive through and it's women in thongs, bathing suits, you know, bikinis. And they're serving you coffee. No matter what the season is, they are in bathing suits, serving you coffee. And bathing suits nowadays are nothing but strings and, you know, little, little covers for your tits. And so I was going there and about the third time I went there, dude, I didn't feel right. Like, I pull up and it was like all girls my daughter's age. And I was just like this. I'm not, I'm not doing this. Like, I can't. This ain't me. However, I did have the complaint. Why don't they get some real women in here? Some women with a couple stretch marks, some women with some, like, you know, I mean, like some women that I could get into, you know, I mean, because I'm not into these little girls. And so. Yeah, I don't know, man. It's, it's, it's. There's something about a guy who is in, who will fuck anything of age, you know, And I say that in the sense of like, of age, you know, Like, I don't care if she's 18 or 19. She's 18 or 19, bro. You know? Now mind you, he's been in for 11 years. I'm doing some math. He's been in for 11 years. I believe he's 51. He went in at 40. You're a 40 year old sleeping with a 14 year old. Still a little weird to me. However, it's not because of him that I see that I would, like, move past this. It's because of the Lord. I know that he can change people. Who am I to convict someone? Sure. I don't know where they got, you know. At the same time, though, don't ever think I'm sending you pictures of my kids. Don't ever think I'm gonna ask you to watch my kids when you get out. Like, that's just, you know. Yeah, it's just one of those things, man. So, I don't know, weird situation. Dude, it was just one of those things, man. I. I never asked. I was always curious. And then when I saw it, it was just kind of like. And I don't know what it is, but he's got two counts, 13 years each, maybe because he said he's been in for 11 and he's got. He's been in 411 and he's got 15 left. That's 26. [01:55:45] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:55:46] Speaker B: So when I saw, I thought maybe it was like, oh, repetitive, you know, like it's. This is showing. I don't know how to read some of these public, you know, things that they pose. And I'm like, okay, maybe they were just showing, you know? But no, I did the math. He said he. In previous letters, he's got 15 left. He served 11. Okay. Dude, you, you did this twice. You. Two counts of child molestation. So. Yeah. Weird though, man. It was. I just thought it was. It was definitely weird that, that I got. I got paired up with this guy, you know? Yeah. Yeah. So I'm just asking, what for? What's the reason? You know? What's the reason? [01:56:35] Speaker A: Yeah, Well, I mean, I think you can both get a little closure out of this. [01:56:44] Speaker B: I have closure. [01:56:45] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:56:45] Speaker B: I'm not, I, I, you know, like, don't get me wrong, when I said there was hurts that I didn't really. I thought I worked past. It was more or less like having to talk about what was taken from me as a kid just kind of like, sucks. Yeah. You know, mean, like that part of it sucked. But as far as like, you know, like this guy and what happened to me, not this guy is my pen pal, but Art and what happened to me, he doesn't dictate how I feel or how I move. [01:57:13] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:57:13] Speaker B: You know what I mean? Again, I eat peanut butter M M's like a beast. And when I eat them, I say, thanks, Art. You know, like it's, it's it's not. It's a. Like, I make a joke. Light joke out of it because I honestly don't give a shit. [01:57:28] Speaker A: You know, I'll say that that did sound like something John C. Reilly would say. Iep to butter evidence. Like a beast. [01:57:41] Speaker B: But I do. It's not. There's not something I look at like I'll still caress my daughter's leg or something, you know, I mean, it doesn't mean I don't think of him. Yeah. He pops in, but it's like, we're moving on. You're not gonna steal this moment from me. We're on. We're at. We're past it. [01:57:57] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:57:57] Speaker B: You know, I don't know his situation, though. But I thought it was. I thought it was kind of. I can't say funny, but I thought it was kind of fun. [01:58:05] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah, I get that. Yeah. Of all the people. [01:58:12] Speaker B: Well, you know, of all the gin joints. [01:58:16] Speaker A: It's a great movie. Have you actually seen that movie? [01:58:19] Speaker B: Yeah, I've actually seen that movie. [01:58:21] Speaker A: Everyone can quote it. Everyone doesn't even know they're quoting it. There's so many quotes in that movie. Great movie, though. [01:58:29] Speaker B: So if I remember correctly, they were seeking refuge or escaping. [01:58:35] Speaker A: They had some kind of visa to escape from the Nazis to get to another country, and he chose to. Well, yeah, I don't want to give away the ending, but, yeah, it was a debate over whether he would take the visa with the chick or he would give it to her at her new husband. [01:58:54] Speaker B: That's right. Yes. Yep, yep, yep. That's right. So I knew they were. I wanted to say they were escaping Nazi. And I'm like, nah, but they were, like, in some tropical place. No, you're. You're right. Yeah, yeah. [01:59:05] Speaker A: Yep. I think that. Were they in France? [01:59:08] Speaker B: I'm going to ruin it. He ends up giving it to her husband and her. [01:59:11] Speaker A: I mean, who didn't see that coming, you know? [01:59:16] Speaker B: Yeah. Good movie, though. I've seen it a couple times. Have you seen Breakfast at Tiffany? [01:59:22] Speaker A: No. [01:59:24] Speaker B: Okay. What do you think it's about? [01:59:26] Speaker A: No idea. I. I know the COVID Okay. [01:59:31] Speaker B: Yep. I know it's very iconic, and so I thought, what the hell? Let's watch this with my daughter when she's, like, seven. [01:59:44] Speaker A: I thought it was an old movie. How bad could it be? [01:59:48] Speaker B: It is an old movie. She's an escort. [01:59:52] Speaker A: Oh. [01:59:54] Speaker B: Yeah. I didn't know that either. Like, halfway through the movie, and I'm like, oh, she's just bringing home dudes. Yeah. With the dream of, like, shopping at Tiffany's, you know, so. Yeah, kind of took me back, too. I didn't know that it was basically. [02:00:23] Speaker A: You know, Pretty Woman. [02:00:25] Speaker B: Prostitute. Good job, you know? Yeah, exactly. It's. Exactly. That's what Pretty Woman is. It's the more recent Breakfast at Tiffany's. Yeah. Crazy. Crazy. All right, man. [02:00:39] Speaker A: We wrap this up. [02:00:40] Speaker B: It's been great talking to you, Abby. Yeah. [02:00:44] Speaker A: Been a good one, Max. I. I think this was good. I think that we covered, like, a lot of our best things. [02:00:51] Speaker B: We. [02:00:52] Speaker A: We got to joke around. We got to give, like, good advice for men and, like, relationships and just, I mean, like, friendships in general, not just for men. And then we even talked about movies at the end, so, I mean, it's kind of like everything we do, you know? [02:01:11] Speaker B: You know, and we know now that Jim's a piece of shit. Yeah. [02:01:18] Speaker A: Sorry, Jimmy. Verdict's in. [02:01:21] Speaker B: Yep. I'm exploiting you. Damn, dude. I got one dead person, bro. That disappoints me, bro. [02:01:32] Speaker A: There's only one in the entirety of the game. [02:01:35] Speaker B: We got Good Job. It's yours. Good job. You nailed that one. [02:01:42] Speaker A: All right, well, all right, man. We'll talk next week. [02:01:44] Speaker B: I love you. [02:01:46] Speaker A: Love you, man. Take it easy. [02:01:48] Speaker B: Love you, too. Have a good night.