036: A Yip Out of the Bitch

[00:00:00] Speaker A: You texted me, are we on for tonight? I saw. I saw. I saw your name, and I was like, oh, shoot. You have the same name as my boss. So I call my boss. I, like, text him back. I'm like, what's tonight? He's like. He's like, what are you talking about? So I call him, and I'm like, dude, what is. Like, what. What. What are we doing tonight? And he was like, who are you talking to? What are you talking about? And I was like, oh, shoot. I look. I look at my. Because I was driving at the time. I look at my truck screen. It says you. And I was like, oh, wrong. And he's like, what are you into? I'm like, oh, it's Wednesday night, man. Podcast. So. So, yeah, so there was that. And then right now, what you called. I was putting down. Putting down a little one. [00:00:51] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah, that's good. So she. She's. She's in school. She's adjusting to school. Yeah. [00:01:03] Speaker A: Yeah. She's. She's been begging me a lot lately to stay home just for no reason. Can I just. Please, can I stay home? Can't you just take me to work with you? Do I have to go to school? So she actually. Probably. [00:01:15] Speaker B: Cause school sucks. [00:01:16] Speaker A: Well, she actually canceled on, like, she didn't want to go to a field trip, thinking if she can't go to the field trip, she's gotta stay home and kick it with dad or kick it with her sister or something. I'm like, no. I was like, you'll be sitting in some other classroom. [00:01:45] Speaker B: Oh, my God. That sucks even worse, right? [00:01:49] Speaker A: I'm trying to tell you, kid, you're gonna be sitting in some other classroom with some other kids. Told you. Get. You know, like, get. [00:01:57] Speaker B: Not the winners. Not the winners, either. [00:02:01] Speaker A: Told you, man. [00:02:02] Speaker B: Your friends. Get. [00:02:03] Speaker A: Get ready for school. You know, like, told you. Bring that parent slip home. She just wouldn't. No, really. Tell you the truth, I'm cool. I don't. I don't really want to go. I'm like, all right. I don't think you know what you're. What you're signing up for, but. Deal. So how's the. [00:02:24] Speaker B: Was that. [00:02:26] Speaker A: That was a couple days ago, dude, I've been asking all week. Give me that parent sign slip. First it was. Mom signed it, and then she came home, like, Tuesday and was like, oh, she signed the one for December. She didn't sign this one. I'm like, well, get one tomorrow and I'll sign it and return it. She's like, tell you the truth, I'm kind of cool, you know, I don't, I don't really want to go. How's, how's your first week been, man? I'm cool. [00:02:57] Speaker B: Oh, it's been slow. Honestly. I didn't have a computer until like five o' clock my first day. I just got a phone today, but they haven't figured out getting me credentials for the phone system, so I can't take any calls. Yeah, it's been kind of slow going and I get the picture that like, overall they just don't have as much going on as my last job. So, like where I used to take like 25 calls a day. I'm probably going to take like five and some emails. It's probably going to be my day. [00:03:42] Speaker A: What are your, what are your hours? [00:03:46] Speaker B: 1030-7 on Mondays and Thursdays and then I do a half day. Tuesday, Wednesday. Wow. [00:03:56] Speaker A: So it kind of fits into your sleep schedule. [00:04:01] Speaker B: Not really getting up at the crack at 8 every day. [00:04:07] Speaker A: How long is the drive from home? [00:04:11] Speaker B: 12 minutes. It's probably the, the shortest commute I've ever had. [00:04:17] Speaker A: That's awesome. [00:04:19] Speaker B: Is that chili mango? [00:04:21] Speaker A: It is. [00:04:23] Speaker B: Oh my God, I love chili mango. Dude. Trader Joe's has a bag of that stuff for $2.99. Really delicious. [00:04:34] Speaker A: Yeah, I think I paid $8.99 for this crap. [00:04:38] Speaker B: It's probably a bigger bag though. But. [00:04:41] Speaker A: So let me ask you now, tonight we're going to get into what you've been going through, how the wife has dealt with it, what is done to. [00:04:55] Speaker B: Your. [00:04:57] Speaker A: Mental well being, if you will. But before we get to that, is this job, does it, does it provide what you're looking for? Like in this, you know when we talked about what you need to make? [00:05:24] Speaker B: Yes. My wife is also working. So together we're making plenty. And in this situation we're in, we're not paying rent or any utilities or anything. So yeah, that's. We're making good money now. [00:05:48] Speaker A: What did she, what did she end up getting? [00:05:52] Speaker B: She still teaches online for the school in Oklahoma. [00:05:56] Speaker A: I'm so happy you said that. [00:06:00] Speaker B: Why? [00:06:01] Speaker A: I would have been so pissed. If you're like, she went back to being a barista. [00:06:07] Speaker B: Now she's had some, she's had some interviews at an unnamed college in the area. She'll probably get all those jobs, so. [00:06:20] Speaker A: Right on. [00:06:21] Speaker B: Who knows? [00:06:22] Speaker A: Number three started working with me this week. [00:06:25] Speaker B: Oh yeah? [00:06:26] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:06:29] Speaker B: How's that been? [00:06:32] Speaker A: It's been good. It was actually last week. [00:06:35] Speaker B: You can't catcall anymore. [00:06:40] Speaker A: Like dad, stop. I'm your daughter. [00:06:43] Speaker B: No, I didn't, I didn't mean to her. [00:06:47] Speaker A: So week one, this is week two of her working, but week one. So every other week I allow her to come in late. So she's taking more forward to school. And so she came in last week, she was riding in with me. So that means getting up at 3:30, being at the job site at 5, you know, and she like comes home and she's been trying to go to bed, like at 8:30, you know, she comes home and she picked up extra hours on Saturday and I know, I know you were gonna say. So she comes home Saturday and she sits in like the, the library chair that we have. It's like my reading area. And she sits down, kind of looks at her phone, goes to sleep for a little bit. Her boyfriend comes over, they go lay down the room. He comes out and he's like, dude, she is struggling with these hours. Like, yeah. Really? He's like, yeah, dude, she is grumpy. So I'm like, okay. So I'm like, you wanna play some video games? He's like, no, we're gonna go get something to eat. She comes walking out, eyes just like. She'd been crying like, what's wrong? She's like, I'm so tired. I can't get caught up on sleep. I can't stay awake. She's like, and I can't stop crying, I'm so tired. And she starts bawling again. So it's been cool because she gets to go to work with me. She's made the comments of like, I don't know how you do this, go to bed at 8:30 or later and wake up at 3:30 every day. [00:08:49] Speaker B: Well, you are a freak, dude, because you don't really go to bed early enough to get up that early. You just have a remarkable lack of need for sleep. [00:09:01] Speaker A: Don't get me wrong, dude. I like, sometimes my days are hard, but I keep myself busy. So like, I don't really get a chance to get tired. Once I sit down, I'm done. Like, I get home and I sit on the couch. Today I sat down, I got home, I sat down, dude, I go home at 2 and I like just passed out. The crappy part was I woke up every 10 minutes thinking I slept for hours. Like, oh my gosh, I overslept. Yeah, my phone's blowing up and I'm like, oh my gosh, I overslept and I'm like, oh, it's 2:15. Okay, okay, okay. Just Cut. Warm. Oh, my gosh. I've been sleeping three hours, probably. Oh, it's two. 25. Okay. Okay. Okay. [00:09:45] Speaker B: Well, I. I don't know, dude. Like. Like on that retreat where we. We all stayed up for the first night. Here's the difference and here's why. I know it's easier for you because you were just up and you never had to vocalize how tired and pissed off you were. It's all I could talk about. All day long, all I could talk about is, I'm tired. Dude, this sucks. Like, it just. It overtakes my whole day. I can't. [00:10:20] Speaker A: For me, it's. Especially with work. Like, time comes and it's like, you can't be late. Like, if you're late, nobody gets to work. [00:10:32] Speaker B: You know? [00:10:32] Speaker A: I mean. And so it's like, there's days where, yeah, I sleep into, like, 4, 405, and I'm like, you got a half hour. You gotta get dressed, get out the door. You know what I mean? Like, come on, let's go. You know, I just have to jump up and do it. And again, it's not because I'm ready and energetic. It's because if I don't do it, nobody works. Then I got to hear about that. [00:10:55] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:10:57] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:10:57] Speaker B: I guess that's just a different ball game when you actually matter at your job. I don't know. I feel for years, because I've had, you know, regular jobs off and on. I had a stint as a barber. I had a stint, you know, as unemployed during COVID So I've had, like, long stretches where I'm not working regular hours. But whenever I'm working, like, a regular 8 to 5 or 7 to 4, whatever I've done. I wake up in the morning, 6 or 7, and I just look at the mirror and I just think, you're living a fucking lie. Like, this is. This is so not you. This is. This is not what you're meant to be doing at all. I just. I never fully get used to being a morning person. [00:11:53] Speaker A: See, I have to get up. So my routine is, you know, I get up, and it's been a long time since I've had the good routine where I get up, I read, I make breakfast. You know, I'm. I'm not there right now. Right now I get up. [00:12:06] Speaker B: It's been years for me. [00:12:08] Speaker A: Yeah. Right now, I get up, I go to the shower. I start as hot as it could go, do my routine, shave, shower. Then I go as cold as it can go, and I finish my Shower in a really cold shower. And then, you know, get dressed, make sure I look good, you know. You know, ladies love cool James. So do that. And then I head to work. You know, I basically leave right when I got to go. Like, I like to get to work a half hour early. So I kind of go through my emails undisturbed. But as of late, I get there, like, right when. Right when it's time to start working. But yeah, it's. It's like, go, go, go until like, seven or eight. So I don't really. I'm not really tired. But then, like, once I get home and, like, things stop and it just, like, my world crumbles. It's like if I. You know, I was talking to stretch Marks today and he's like, man, like, you just stay busy. And I'm like, I have to. I have to stay busy or else. Yeah, I get tired or, you know, or my idle mind runs in other places. I'm like, I have to feel. Because we went and looked at, like, I got home today, I took that little nap, I got back up, started going, started reading emails, started doing some stuff on the drawings. And then I made dinner. Then he came over because I was going to take number four to look at Christmas or Halloween lights. He came over to join us. We went and looked at Halloween lights. Then I was like, oh, I gotta. I gotta get home, put her to bed and get ready for the podcast. And he's like, dude, you just, like, are constantly going. I'm like, I have to, dude, or else I like, I crash out, bro. Like, I'm just. But that's why when you ask me what I like to do to enjoy my free time, it's doing mindless things, like watching Cops. And to tell you the truth, me. [00:14:04] Speaker B: And number four, like, I don't know. I don't know. Random example. Watch your Cops. I don't even know why I said that. [00:14:13] Speaker A: We were in the middle of a Cops episode. That's why when you. When you call for it. And I was like, give me five minutes. It was. [00:14:20] Speaker B: It was. [00:14:20] Speaker A: It was at the last segment. You know, when they do the three segments. Was at the last segment. [00:14:24] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:14:25] Speaker A: And we were kind of already tied into it. You know, they chased the dude down. Now we want to know what's going on with him. So I was like, this should be over in five minutes. I'll tell him. Give me five. [00:14:34] Speaker B: Oh, boy. Yeah. My friend's dad would always be watching Cops, and we'd like, you know, run into the house you know, because we needed permission to do something or whatever before we were gonna, like, run back out and go play outside or whatever. And we'd get sucked into these episodes. And I just remember, even at, like, 10 years old, her dad would just be like, what a fucking loser. Like, look at this guy trying to buy drugs. What a fucking dickhead. And I was just already so exposed to things like that that I was like, I don't know. It looks like he's really got a problem, man. [00:15:19] Speaker A: I do think it's cool. [00:15:20] Speaker B: Bad for this guy. [00:15:22] Speaker A: I've questioned whether I should let her see that stuff, but, like, I think it's cool because she'll ask, like, why is he acting like that? You know, oh, he's on drugs. Why is like, what is that that just they pulled out of his pocket? Oh, that's marijuana. It smells like. I don't say your mom's car, but smells like. Has a really weird smell to it, you know? I'm like, what's. [00:15:48] Speaker B: What's that guy's problem? Why is he acting like that? Well, honey, he met a woman just like your mom probably seven years ago, and this is where you end. [00:16:00] Speaker A: So, yeah, that's. That's what we were doing, man, when you called, and I was like, oh, shoot. But it was cool. We were snuggling. All right, man. So welcome in pseudonyms, everyone. That's great. So you're gonna. You're gonna share with us my laptop. You're gonna share with us tonight your journey, where you've been mentally before work, kind of, maybe what it. What strain it might have caused on your marriage, your relationships, if you're comfortable with all that. I think it's. It's. You know, I'm sure there's other men out there in the same boat. Not sure. Yeah. Not sure. What happened to number one, bro? I call her. She doesn't answer. I'm like, maybe. She's like, screw these guys. [00:17:00] Speaker B: Oh, no, she quit. Did I. Did I joke around too much about reducing her pay? [00:17:09] Speaker A: I honestly thought that at first, I was like, maybe he went a little too far. [00:17:16] Speaker B: Oh, I didn't. I didn't think that was that bad. No, I always took it back so quickly. [00:17:22] Speaker A: I think she's actually just her. She had a girlfriend I'm seeing on Instagram that she was really good friends with. They had a little bit of fallout. Now they're kind of. I see him hanging out again. So. [00:17:37] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:17:38] Speaker A: So maybe. [00:17:39] Speaker B: Oh, I see what this was. We were placeholders who were placeholders for Susan, or whatever the her name is. [00:17:50] Speaker A: I was gonna say, but I was like, oh, wait, we can't say it. Yeah, yeah, I think. [00:17:55] Speaker B: Well, I hope she takes Susan out for a nice dinner with the money that we paid her to produce this podcast. All right, well, I don't know where to start. [00:18:10] Speaker A: Well, I was first. You don't know where to start. All right, Mr. Wagner. [00:18:18] Speaker B: Get into the whole thing. Like Wagner? [00:18:21] Speaker A: Yeah, Mr. Wagner, man. Eugene V. I'm sorry. Robert F. Wagner, the union New York senator who sponsored the National Labor Relations Act. [00:18:36] Speaker B: All right, I guess you're Bernie then. [00:18:39] Speaker A: Bernie Mac. [00:18:40] Speaker B: I don't know. Bernie Sanders. I don't know. Just labor. Something Labor. All right, you could be Bernie Mac if you want. It's just Birdie. You can be any Birdie you want. You'd be Mr. Burns. So one, one would argue the exact opposite of Bernie Sanders is Mr. Burns. [00:19:00] Speaker A: Probably so. Probably so. So walk me through this, man. You know, you, you, you. [00:19:06] Speaker B: Okay. [00:19:07] Speaker A: You left to come back so that you guys can kind of get set up. You get back to California. [00:19:12] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:19:13] Speaker A: And you're like, hey, yes. Putting out my feelers. So. [00:19:17] Speaker B: And so that part, that part doesn't make a lot of sense to people because why would you leave Oklahoma where your mortgage is less a mortgage for a three bedroom house less than you could pay for a studio apartment in Orange County. [00:19:37] Speaker A: What were you paying on your mortgage? [00:19:38] Speaker B: But 1500. [00:19:43] Speaker A: Okay. Studios are cheaper out here, but okay. [00:19:47] Speaker B: Yeah, you could get a studio for, for 22, 23. Maybe here they're about, I mean, it's. [00:19:54] Speaker A: They'Re probably 2014-22 here. [00:19:58] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. So it's a lot better out there. [00:20:01] Speaker A: Stretch Marks is currently looking to move on his own and from his brother's house. And we've been looking in like, the cheapest he found was I think like 1300. And then everything else is up in the 2000s. [00:20:15] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. And it's, it, it really is just a nationwide issue, man. Like everywhere in the country, it's just getting, it's outpacing wages so much. Like, I could pay the mortgage with just my income, but there wasn't much left over after, you know, there was maybe a thousand bucks a month left. [00:20:36] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:20:37] Speaker B: And that all went to bills, you. [00:20:39] Speaker A: Know, with the low rent also because comes low wages. [00:20:45] Speaker B: Yeah. And they weren't, I mean, it wasn't terrible. I was. [00:20:49] Speaker A: No, but you, you could do the same job in California and probably make five, ten bucks more an hour. Yeah. [00:20:56] Speaker B: Yeah. So I'm making seven dollars more an hour now. But it's part time, it's temporary. It's a jumping off point to something permanent if they like me, you know. So I'm sure with, with a permanent position comes a higher wage. But you know, for now it's just something, just got to be something. So you know, we, we decided the only way to stop piling up the debt is to cut off, you know, the cost of living. And you know, the only real way to do that is to live somewhere for free. So we packed up, came to California. Now I knew I wasn't going to find a job right away and I was applying to things for a couple months before we left Oklahoma. It's part of why I knew that it. I wasn't probably gonna find something right away, but did not think it was gonna be like three solid months, you know, before, before I even got an interview for something. So, you know, I was already applying. I started real estate school, which I haven't really been doing in the last couple months. [00:22:16] Speaker A: You had all this free time? [00:22:21] Speaker B: Well, you know what it was, dude? It was every person I came across, realtors and non realtors, just had to tell me like, don't do that, dude. It's such a waste of time. You're never going to make any. You'll make 60 grand a year if you're incredibly lucky. Like, like a. Someone who's been a realtor for 65 years told me, don't do it. You know what I mean? And I think so. [00:22:49] Speaker A: I think they're right. [00:22:50] Speaker B: It got to me. [00:22:52] Speaker A: I think they're right. But I also think there's, there's a niche of people, you know, like you could jump into commercial real estate, that's a lot different. You jump into high end housing, that's different, you know? [00:23:04] Speaker B: Yeah, well, part of, part of my job was to just get like a position in a company that needs realtors like in and out. Like in n Out has a whole real estate department who just manages all their stuff, you know, writes contracts for them, does all that. So like that, that was my plan. Like if I'm not getting listings, I can just apply somewhere and maybe get a position. But you know, honestly I was just starting to get depressed about the whole thing because it just every. Everything I tried to do just seemed to be the wrong decision, you know, it just. I just seemed to be wasting my time with whatever I was doing. So, you know, it after, after like a month, it was just like, dude, I've applied to 200 jobs maybe, you know, and like, haven't got a call back. Like, I haven't got an email about, like an interview. I haven't gotten a follow up on anything. You know, it was just like getting ridiculous. And I didn't even find this job listing. My wife found this one and sent it to me, so. [00:24:19] Speaker A: You tell her that. [00:24:20] Speaker B: But. [00:24:23] Speaker A: Yeah, great. She's probably holding that over your head. [00:24:27] Speaker B: Yeah, you better fucking believe it. Every. Every day. Every day I come home and she's like, oh, did you have a good day at the job I got you? [00:24:42] Speaker A: She's in the room. [00:24:45] Speaker B: She's in the room. Yeah. So freaking. [00:24:54] Speaker A: Are you enjoying the job? [00:24:56] Speaker B: She's got down and hit me on the head right as I said that. The cable box fell off the dresser and hit me on the shoulder. Like God himself was weighing in on my shenanigans. [00:25:09] Speaker A: Is that what you tell the cops? No, it was. It just fell. It just. No, I, I fell. [00:25:15] Speaker B: No, it. It just fell. She's a great gal. Don't. Don't take her. Get her. I do not want to press charges. I'm fine. I'm fine. I need to learn. [00:25:29] Speaker A: I need to learn. I always. [00:25:40] Speaker B: Yeah, just. Yeah, you know, good old fashioned head wound. Clear things out. Yeah. So I don't know. Yeah, it was probably a month after moving here after, like, okay, we don't have anything left to do. We've got the storage unit figured out. We've unpacked everything that we're gonna be using. I've been applying to jobs. [00:26:13] Speaker A: Fuck. [00:26:13] Speaker B: Now I just sort of sit around all day, you know what I mean? And I could have found a better use of my time, probably. But again, it was just like, what do I do? Do I like, sign up at the community college and start working on like an AA degree that I'm never gonna use? Like, do I go learn a trade that's gonna be oversaturated by the time I get certified in it? Do I. [00:26:39] Speaker A: Couple comments real quick. [00:26:40] Speaker B: For this certification that everyone's gonna tell me is useless, you know? [00:26:44] Speaker A: Couple comments. You're right in so many areas. One thing I realized is because I was unemployed for three months before I landed this job. But that was. That was more because I got laid off right before Thanksgiving. So it's like, everybody's like, no, we're not hiring till the beginning of the year now. We're not hiring to the first. You know, you're like, oh, crap. But there's also the sense of it consumes you. You know, you're, you're. You got Stuff that's still piling up, it's not going away. [00:27:22] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:27:22] Speaker A: And you don't have no income, so it's like, yeah, I could do all this other stuff, but it still doesn't take out from the back of my mind that thought of I'm not doing anything that is, is, is handling my problems. That's one, two. You're right. I went and got a bachelor. Bachelor's. I went and got a, an associate's degree in graphic design. Well, what do you know? As soon as I graduate, yeah, everybody's a graphic designer. You know what I mean? Like everybody was. And it was, it was like nobody was gonna pay top dollar for a graphic designer that came from, you know, some vocational college. You know what I mean? It's like, yeah. So. [00:28:09] Speaker B: Yeah, I don't know. You, you'll have, you'll have insight into this because you're in this world very much. But maybe I'm wrong, but someone texted me the other day and they were like, have you ever thought about learning how to weld? Because like, you know, the blue collar jobs are really like where it's gonna be at. Like those are the jobs no one's doing anymore. And I'm like, yeah, dude, except for welding. I know like four welders and they're not getting any work because everyone is a welder now. Like I was going job everyone goes into. [00:28:41] Speaker A: I was gonna ask if it's your neighbor. [00:28:45] Speaker B: He's one of them. He, he doesn't do. He's a real estate agent now. Not selling anything. Yeah, he, he, he got me the classes for free through his brokerage. That's how I started taking those classes. [00:28:56] Speaker A: The weird guy store that would cook like. Yeah, cook like peppers on his. Dry out peppers on like the dashboard of his car. [00:29:05] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, dude. And he hasn't sold anything. He was another one who kind of, you know, told me what's what about that and kind of discouraged me. Although I don't think that's what he was trying to do. But. But yeah, like him, my, my friend Morgan Bubs is a welder. He couldn't find any work so he went out to Tennessee. You know what I mean? [00:29:32] Speaker A: Here's the thing. No one, it depends where you're at. Because out here. Yes, but out here, out here, construction's taken off like it is everywhere. You know, everybody's. We're expanding, we're building up, we're building out, you know, and so like it's, it's common out here now to drive, drive the Freeways and see construction sites everywhere. Yeah. So it really is where you're at. Where, California. They're kind of built out. [00:30:07] Speaker B: Yeah. But there's still just construction everywhere. It's just probably more renovation. So it's not really like. Yeah. You know welding. [00:30:16] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, like, if you ever came out here and you're a welder, any one of your welder friends, I could get them a job with some welding companies for sure. There's a lot of. A lot of work out here right now. [00:30:30] Speaker B: Yeah, but it was just, it was just another example of like, hey, have you thought of this thing that a million other people have thought of? Maybe you should do that. [00:30:38] Speaker A: You know what, dude? [00:30:39] Speaker B: That, that sort of. The walls are really closing in with shit like that. Because not only is everyone kind of thinking along the same lines of like, oh, fucking, AI is taking over graphic design and video production and everything. Like everything the millennials created for the last 20 years is just gone because of AI now. Well, now let's all go get blue collar jobs and we're all getting the same jobs. Like, we're all going to learn the same skills, you know, and it's just. I. I don't know, man. Just everyone's doing all the same shit. There's not enough jobs for the people. [00:31:19] Speaker A: You just, like, gave me a great idea. [00:31:22] Speaker B: Hit me. [00:31:25] Speaker A: AI. So I'm working with that prison ministry, which now I'm. I'm a. I'm a committee member. [00:31:33] Speaker B: Ooh, are you gonna teach or are you just like a board member? [00:31:38] Speaker A: Just a board member. And how boring. [00:31:45] Speaker B: That's why they call it bored. [00:31:48] Speaker A: And then part of it is working with the prison mission. Remember I was telling you about the podcast? The prisoners wanted to do a podcast? [00:31:59] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:32:00] Speaker A: Well, they wanted me to work on a intro, you know, like a little video intro. This is like, hey, you know, this is such and such, you know, this is the college. This is, you know what our what, what our mission is? Put a little verse and then have an outro. Hey, thanks for listening. They want to put it on everyone. And I was like, yeah. So I started reaching out to actual companies. I should have just went to chat. GPT. Didn't think about it. That's awesome. Yeah, thanks for the. Thanks for that, man. [00:32:36] Speaker B: Come. Have you already spent money? [00:32:39] Speaker A: No, I haven't, actually. I just started speaking to him the last couple days because he's been asking me for months, but I was so busy before. And then, you know, fast forward, I meet Miami and, you know, that takes A lot of my free time now, too. Yeah, that being the relationship, guys, not her, not calling her that. [00:33:04] Speaker B: You know, that. I mean those. I mean her that call tonight, you know. [00:33:14] Speaker A: So. Yeah, man. All right, so now you're in this head space. You're. You apply to 200 places. Did you journal any of your emotions that you were going through during this time? Like your thoughts, where you were at? [00:33:30] Speaker B: Yeah, for sure. But it probably came out mostly like, it just. I'm gonna watch a movie, you know, instead of whatever. [00:33:45] Speaker A: How did you apply for work? Because I've. I've realized when I was unemployed that it's not as. It's not as time consuming as it used to be back in the day, where now you go on. [00:34:00] Speaker B: Indeed. [00:34:01] Speaker A: And apply to 30 places in an hour. [00:34:05] Speaker B: Yeah, so I was doing zip recruiter, and they've got like the one click apply where they just automatically put your resume in and, like, fill in the questions. And then a couple of those would, like, forward to, like, their career center things. And then there were a few places where I would just, like, go searching, like, does. Does this business have any openings? That kind of thing. And then I would just, like, apply on their website. So I kind of did a mix of all of it. [00:34:34] Speaker A: All right. [00:34:34] Speaker B: On LinkedIn. LinkedIn is useless garbage in my experience. [00:34:41] Speaker A: Yeah, I would say. I. Yeah, I mean, but they kind of do the same thing. ZipRecruiter and indeed does, where it's just like, hey, one click here and we'll. We'll shoot them your profile. [00:34:52] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:34:55] Speaker A: Yeah, I can understand that. [00:34:56] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:34:57] Speaker A: So did you journal about what you're going through? Did you journal during this phase? [00:35:03] Speaker B: It definitely was, yeah. I just. I don't know if. If it was incredibly thoughtful. I think it was more apathetic and just sort of like, yeah, I'm fucking done with this. I don't know. You know? Like, I don't know if I got, like, too deep. I don't know if I would have stayed in that headspace if I was capable of getting deeper into my thoughts and feelings at the time, you know? [00:35:31] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, for sure. So do you. Do you have. Do you have thoughts or did you have moments where you were like, man, this is where I'm at right now? Like, man, did you. Did you have. You know how you have those moments of, like, vivid. Vivid memories or vivid where you're kind of taking the moment in and you're like, man, this is either crushing me, or you're like, man, I feel really defeated. Like. [00:36:07] Speaker B: Yeah, I had I joked a few times where, like before I moved, I was like, I don't know if I was like making plans or whatever, but I know there were a few times where I made a joke about like, yeah, I mean, like, I'll have a job by September, because, you know, if I don't have a job by September, then something really went haywire, you know. And then like in September, I was like, well, here we are. Something went terribly wrong. And honestly, I should have, I should have just planned for and expected it to take longer because when the hell have I ever gotten a job in less than four months? You know, it's. It's never really happened. So, you know, I shouldn't have assumed that I would be able to find something so easily. I just kind of assumed that in the line of work I was pursuing, my previous job carried some prestige, you know. Like, I really thought that like, that would look good to prospective employers. And even more so now because, like, I've gotten a load of what we do in this new position and dude, we don't have 110 of the responsibility that I had at my last job. Like, I was handling everything in my last job and now all I can do is really just refer people to other departments. [00:37:37] Speaker A: You know, I can relate. I, you know, I came off building the surf park and, and when I resigned there, it was kind of like, I'm done, you know, I just built the surf park. I'll be fine. And then it was just like I talked to some employers like, oh, that little 40 acre surf park. We could have, you know, one guy do that's, you know, a level one. [00:37:58] Speaker B: And I'm like a little, little water, you know. [00:38:01] Speaker A: Yeah. And I'm like, what's, dude, hey, you weren't out there, bro. We're dealing with stuff from Germany. We're dealing with stuff that's like being created for this park specifically. It's never been done before. Get. Get out of here. But yeah, it's a little discouraging, man. It's, it's. Let me ask you, did you ever go into places? Because I got to that point where I would drive by buildings and I'm like, it. I'm pulling. Asking them only to be redirected to the website. [00:38:33] Speaker B: Yeah, that's kind of what I thought would. Not that necessarily. I just, I used to be a front desk admin. So like, I know that they are trained to do everything to keep you from getting past that desk, you know, like they, they are not giving you anyone's contact info. They're not taking anything from you. They're. They're doing everything they can to push you out the door. So I just didn't think that would be necessary. But honestly, yeah, I passed by the Del Taco headquarters a couple times, and I was like, fuck, I love Del Taco. How great would it be if I just pulled in here and found a job? Like, you know, I almost went. Gotta be careful how I word this. I used. So the job I had in Oklahoma was for a chain of retail stores. And I almost. I did email the district manager for this area and just sent my resume and said, hey, I had two jobs at your corporation that, like, really prepared me for working in the store. You know, like, is there anything you can do? Is. Are there any openings in your area? You know, and Crickets never, never messaged me back. So, like, I was getting to the point of, like, I should probably just go into a store and just ask to talk to a manager and just give him my resume. And, like, no one is not going to be, you know, because I was a visual merchandiser before I was tech support. So, like, I know all the fixtures. I know how to read a layout. I know how to recreate, you know, the documents. Like, I know all that shit. And then I know how all the machines work. So, like, get me in there, coach. And I just, like. I don't know, I just didn't have it. [00:40:26] Speaker A: What. Did you ever think about going online for that retail place and applying for, like, a management role? [00:40:36] Speaker B: A lot of people suggested that, and I just. They shot it down from outside for that. [00:40:43] Speaker A: But you're not outside. I mean, you're just. You're. You're relocated. [00:40:48] Speaker B: What? I. Well, yeah, what I mean is they. They only hire up to assistant man. Like, you have to be in the company, at the store. You get hired up to assistant manager and then up to manager. Like, no one just comes straight in as a manager. So, you know, yes, that would. That would probably be way better money, but I just. I never saw that happen. And I. I talked to enough managers to kind of get the culture of how that works, and I just didn't think that would be a route. [00:41:24] Speaker A: You have every. Every reason why not to do something that's. I didn't think that was possible. It's amazing. [00:41:29] Speaker B: Yeah, isn't it? Yeah. I guess. I guess it really just comes down to, like, I've taken enough leaps that. Or, like, you know, I know this isn't gonna work out, but, like, I'm gonna take the leap I'm gonna. I'm gonna try something. I'm gonna put my, you know, I'm gonna put myself out there. And then it just is embarrassing. It's just like, you know, like I was at a job for a month and someone in my office was put in their notice that they were leaving. [00:42:06] Speaker A: And. [00:42:06] Speaker B: And my manager came to me and was like, hey, so this person's leaving. It would be a significant pay increase. I think you should go to my manager and ask for this job. She told me that. She told me straight up, you should go to my manager and tell him you want to be considered. And I went to him and he almost laughed in my face. Like he was stifling a laugh. [00:42:33] Speaker A: Like he. [00:42:33] Speaker B: He stopped me and he was like, first of all, the position's filled. So second of all, you've been here like a month. I was like, dude, okay. And that was. That was probably the last time I'm. I'm ever gonna do anything ballsy like that again. [00:42:49] Speaker A: I've taken so many leaps that I'm bound. [00:42:53] Speaker B: Yeah. They had to clip my wigs, buddy. I was about to fall out of the tree. [00:43:03] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:43:03] Speaker B: So anyways, yeah, that's. That's why I'm. I'm risk averse when it comes to stuff like that, because I just, like, I don't know, it just seems like a waste of time. Most. [00:43:12] Speaker A: Did you find yourself reaching a point of depression? [00:43:16] Speaker B: Oh, for sure. 100%. Yeah. [00:43:20] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:43:21] Speaker B: No one. No one watches four movies in a day because they're feeling great. They're feeling like a real go getter, you know what I mean? [00:43:28] Speaker A: Dude. Dude, I watched all 10 Fast and Furious, bro. [00:43:34] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:43:36] Speaker A: I was like, this is such, like. I've always looked at that. What do you call when they make a bunch of that franchise? I've always looked at that franchise as corny. And I'm like, you know what, though? I'm watching all of them. I'm watching all of them now. I gotta wait till part two of number 10 comes out. [00:43:58] Speaker B: Oh, God. I didn't even know that that was how that was. I have to wait for it. Yeah. I just. I can't. Everyone says it's great, dude. [00:44:12] Speaker A: It's so. It's so over the top, dude. I thought the first one was great. First one was good. [00:44:19] Speaker B: I. But I liked the first three. I saw the first four. I. I liked the first three. And after that I was done with it. But then I just heard, like, they went to space in number 13, you know what I mean? Like, I just. [00:44:34] Speaker A: Yeah. So number three or four is actually like number seven or eight. The one. Tokyo Drift. [00:44:43] Speaker B: Yeah. Tokyo Drift is the third one. [00:44:45] Speaker A: Yeah. And people die in that. That you see in number four. And you're like, wait, wait, wait, wait. What the fuck? This dude died. And then like, it walks you through that. Tokyo Drift is actually like number seven in the franchise, like, as far as timeline, you know what I mean? [00:45:02] Speaker B: I see. [00:45:04] Speaker A: So it was. It was a. It was a mind for a little bit. Okay. So how'd you deal with your depression? [00:45:15] Speaker B: Watching movies? I didn't. I didn't deal with it. All right, so it. Yeah, you know, I. I started working out. I started getting more sunshine, going on walks, playing with my daughter. [00:45:33] Speaker A: Now, let me ask you, are you considering walks and working out the same thing? [00:45:38] Speaker B: No. [00:45:39] Speaker A: Okay. [00:45:40] Speaker B: No. I've been doing calisthenics. Although not this week. [00:45:50] Speaker A: I've been waking up too early. I'm beat. [00:45:54] Speaker B: No, honestly, I've been thinking, like, you know what I really should do is I should get up early, I should knock out my workout, shower, and then spend like an hour with the baby before I have to leave. And then I just get up like an hour before I have to be to work. And then all that goes away. [00:46:12] Speaker A: That's every morning for me. [00:46:14] Speaker B: I'm like, that's my plan. [00:46:15] Speaker A: Every morning early and read. And then like, the alarm hits and I'm like, I technically got 40 minutes before I gotta actually get up. I'm sleeping in. How much weight have you dropped? [00:46:25] Speaker B: An hour before I've really gotta get up. [00:46:29] Speaker A: How much weight have you dropped? Have you dropped any? [00:46:32] Speaker B: I didn't weigh myself at the start. I don't feel much lighter. But I've been. I've been fasting too, so I. I think that's helping out too. [00:46:44] Speaker A: But intermittent or day straight. [00:46:48] Speaker B: Yeah, I only eat from two to seven and some days I'll just have one meal. [00:46:54] Speaker A: Okay. I'm currently on staying under 1600 calories. [00:47:01] Speaker B: Okay. [00:47:01] Speaker A: Yeah. So I'll have like. [00:47:03] Speaker B: That would be one. [00:47:04] Speaker A: One to two meals. [00:47:06] Speaker B: Yeah, I tried to. I think it was a thousand calories. I was trying to do a day, maybe 1200 or something and. Shit. Dude, it just. It got to the point where it's like, well, I don't need that second latte because that's 5 calories. And I'd rather have, you know, those calories later. Like, it really. It got insane. Yeah. [00:47:32] Speaker A: What. Just. This is just for my own good curiosity. What movies did you watch and what can you recommend To a brother. [00:47:41] Speaker B: Pull up the old letterboxd. [00:47:43] Speaker A: Let me. Let me ask you this real quick. Did you see that movie together? [00:47:49] Speaker B: I did, and I didn't really like it. [00:47:52] Speaker A: Yeah, I wasn't sure. I mean, I think I started it and I was like, yeah, this isn't really where I think where I thought it was gonna start. Something with like a magic lake or something. [00:48:04] Speaker B: Yeah, well, they start like. Like becoming one. It's like body horror. [00:48:13] Speaker A: Okay, well, thanks for saving me that trip. [00:48:18] Speaker B: Yeah, I wasn't. [00:48:19] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:48:21] Speaker B: Let'S see. I'm pulling it up here. Sorry, I have, like, no data, so it's a little slow. I do. I did see Miller's Crossing for the first time. [00:48:32] Speaker A: What is that? [00:48:32] Speaker B: That was. That's a Coen Brothers movie from, like the early 90s. It's like a crime drama. Like a 1940s crime drama thing. It's excellent. [00:48:49] Speaker A: Hey, did you see that one where the Lilies Grow or some. [00:48:53] Speaker B: Where Lilies Grow? No, I don't think so. [00:48:58] Speaker A: Okay. [00:48:59] Speaker B: Oh, did you see Godzilla minus one? [00:49:02] Speaker A: Oh, no. Because I'm a grown up. I'm not into dinosaurs. Okay. [00:49:13] Speaker B: That was nuts to come at me like that. That was the first one I told you about. The first movie I told you about. You go. You're a baby, you. Oh, dude, I've got a movie for you. This. This is your movie. Heretic. [00:49:33] Speaker A: What's it about? Because I've never heard of it, and I almost think this is like a passive insult. Like, I got a movie. Your movie. I'm a. Have you seen it? [00:49:47] Speaker B: No, it's not like that at all. I don't want to tell you too much because I think not knowing anything would really make it way better, but it's about two Mormon missionary girls and they're going. They're. They're going like on their door to door thing, and they start talking to this weird guy, questions about Mormonism. [00:50:16] Speaker A: Let me ask you this. Is it a documentary or is it like a filmed movie? [00:50:21] Speaker B: No, it's a. It's a film. Hugh Grant is in it. [00:50:25] Speaker A: Okay, that was my next question. Who? Who? Okay, cool, cool. I'll check it out. [00:50:30] Speaker B: Yeah, it's really. [00:50:32] Speaker A: What year? [00:50:35] Speaker B: Last year? Yeah, it's. It's pretty new. [00:50:42] Speaker A: All right, so you dealt with your depression watching movies. What kind of effect do you think this had on you as a father and a husband? [00:50:56] Speaker B: You know, at worst, it just sort of got me, like, moping around. It wasn't like I was ever, like, closed off or, like, hanging out alone in the bedroom or anything. Like, I was still out mixing it up with my daughter and stuff. I just. I just didn't have a lot of energy, you know, That's. That's really all it was. [00:51:18] Speaker A: Okay. [00:51:18] Speaker B: But it's not my first. It's not my first rodeo with that. So. It always takes a long time to work up the motivation. But I do know that, like, if I work out, if I go for a walk, if I see some sunlight, if I go, you know, just do anything I've been looking forward to doing, you know, like, I will. My body will do the rest of the work. Like, I will just naturally start to feel better, you know? [00:51:48] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. [00:51:50] Speaker B: But it just. Again, you got to have the motivation to even do that in the first place. And that's where it's tough because, you know, it's not easy to. To get there. Ever check out David lynch movies? [00:52:13] Speaker A: I don't know who that is. [00:52:16] Speaker B: Yeah, he did like, Mulholland Drive and Lost highway and stuff. [00:52:21] Speaker A: I heard Mulholland Drive is actually really good. [00:52:25] Speaker B: It was, but it's weird and it doesn't really answer everything. [00:52:32] Speaker A: What's. It is Mulholland Drive. What's that about? Is it, like, based on. Loosely based on. True story? [00:52:39] Speaker B: Not that I'm aware of. It's a. It's about a girl who's about to be murdered by a hitman, and then there's a car crash and she loses her memory. So she ends up, like, kind of wandering around Mulholland Drive and she finds someone to stay with, but she doesn't know, like, who she is or, you know, she doesn't know she's in danger or anything like that. So they. They're kind of piecing together her story. [00:53:09] Speaker A: Okay. [00:53:10] Speaker B: As they're figuring things out. [00:53:13] Speaker A: So David lynch is either a director or a producer or. [00:53:16] Speaker B: Yeah, he's a director. Yeah. He did Twin Peaks. You ever see Twin Peaks? [00:53:21] Speaker A: I've ate. I've eaten there. [00:53:26] Speaker B: Dude. We. We went there, my parents and my wife and I, because we didn't know what that was. We just went to a restaurant. [00:53:35] Speaker A: I didn't. I did not either when I first went there. And then you walk in, you're like, the first time. [00:53:42] Speaker B: The first. [00:53:42] Speaker A: The only time I ever been there. [00:53:44] Speaker B: I wasn't sure if it was just a fluke. [00:53:48] Speaker A: I've only been there once, but it was the same thing. I went, like, a lot of people from work, like, let's go to Twin Peaks. And I mean, like, girls are saying, let's go to Twin Peaks. Too. Now, mind you, they're lesbians. [00:53:59] Speaker B: The food was great. [00:54:01] Speaker A: Yeah, food was good. And then you go in. It's like an upscale Hooters. [00:54:07] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:54:07] Speaker A: Wink, wink. Food was great. Yeah. So, yeah, it was okay. No, I've. I've never. Never seen Twin Peaks. [00:54:26] Speaker B: Yeah, it's just weird. And that's the thing. Like, everything he does is visually perfect. It's like the coolest furniture, the coolest colors, the coolest everything. And then the stories are just bizarre, and, you know, it's so. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know what to make of him. I can't tell if I love him or hate him, but I watched quite a few of his movies. [00:54:54] Speaker A: Okay, now let me ask you, was your wife working during all this time? [00:55:05] Speaker B: Kind of, but just doing her online classes. So, you know, a few hours a week of. It wasn't even, like, teaching online. It was just sort of facilitating an online class. So it wasn't. It wasn't like she was busy all day, and I was just off doing. [00:55:24] Speaker A: Nothing, you know, just beating off behind. [00:55:26] Speaker B: We spent most of that time. We spent most of that time together. [00:55:32] Speaker A: All right, on. [00:55:33] Speaker B: Right on. [00:55:34] Speaker A: And how did. How did it affect your. Your marriage? Any. Any you see anything in your marriage with what you were going through? [00:55:42] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, toward the end, she got a little frustrated and, you know, kind of accused me of. Of not trying, which is probably fair. But, you know, it wasn't that I wasn't trying. It was that, like, I was doing everything I could with the level of energy I had, but that didn't amount to a lot, you know? [00:56:11] Speaker A: Yeah. And I'm sure a smack later stopped all that. [00:56:15] Speaker B: Yeah, sometimes you gotta smack them. [00:56:25] Speaker A: So were your. Your parents riding you at all? [00:56:29] Speaker B: Nah. Nah, dude. I think they preferred it. [00:56:34] Speaker A: Yeah. You're definitely tired, right? [00:56:35] Speaker B: Home all day. Yeah. Yeah. [00:56:40] Speaker A: Had his little weird buddy around. Yeah. Come here. [00:56:46] Speaker B: God, it's a bizarre scene here, man. It's. Oh, God, I hate it. He did it last night, too. I bought. I bought my daughter. She loves those fake, like, kitchen sets with, like, the plastic pots and pans and stuff. So I bought her one yesterday. And I didn't realize. I thought it was gonna be, like, plastic cupboards. I didn't realize this shit was like, IKEA furniture that you got to screw together. So I. I put it all together last night. We watched Silver Bullet and Thinner in the time me to put this thing together. [00:57:27] Speaker A: You went classic on it. [00:57:29] Speaker B: Thinner sucked. [00:57:31] Speaker A: It always has. [00:57:32] Speaker B: Silver Bullet was awesome. [00:57:35] Speaker A: Thinner was the Stephen King movie, right? Yeah, I saw it in the theater. [00:57:43] Speaker B: I wanted to like it. Dude. That's all I can say is I wanted to like it. And I still gave it two stars on letterboxd. [00:57:53] Speaker A: I'm not gonna lie. [00:57:54] Speaker B: Silver Bullet. [00:57:55] Speaker A: That movie sucks so bad. I remember, like, you ever watch a movie, it sucks so bad, you remember, like, the evening that you saw it when it first came out 20 fucking 30 years ago. Like, I remember going to the theater thing and this is gonna be great. And I left the theater like, you serious, dude? Like, where do they make those pills? Because I would love to get thinner, you know? I mean, like, this guy got a voodoo curse and gets thinner. Like, get out of here. This is not even scary. [00:58:28] Speaker B: I haven't read that Stephen King book, but I've read 12 to 15 Stephen King books. So given that, that experience, I'll say. My guess is there's a lot more going on in the book than they were able to fit into the movie. And it's probably, like, more terrible in. In the book. Like, he actually has side effects that would suck, you know? Whereas, like, yeah, in the movie, that's literally all it was. Was Got thinner. [00:59:00] Speaker A: Yeah. All right, so. And Silver Bull, that's that old school, like, werewolf movie, right? Yeah, vampire. [00:59:10] Speaker B: Yeah, it's a werewolf. With Gary Busey and Corey Haim. Yeah, classic, dude. And the Fog by John Carpenter. I've watched twice already. I can't believe how awesome that movie is. [00:59:27] Speaker A: Well, you're really depressed. I don't think I really understood the extent of it. You're watching the fog. Mind you, as a kid, I remember watching the fog and thinking the out of here. Like, it's fog. Like, you're not gonna make me afraid of the fog. Maybe if the fog came in, like, a creature can only operate within that fog would make sense. [00:59:54] Speaker B: That's what it is. [00:59:56] Speaker A: Oh, for real? [00:59:57] Speaker B: There's. There's ghosts in the fog that kill you? [01:00:02] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm talking about more like a creature in itself lived within that fog. [01:00:09] Speaker B: Okay. [01:00:11] Speaker A: Something that was, like, horrific. Ghost and fog, they're the same thing. Just. Just breathe heavy. Blow it away. I could beat that with a fan. You know what I mean? [01:00:27] Speaker B: It's so funny because, like, I, I. It's not that it's a great movie or anything. It's that it's exactly what I was looking for. I'm looking for a very specific 80s vibe. And the soundtrack, the scenery, the cinematography, everything about it, even the way that they, like, made the fake fog, it's like an electric blue looking fog thing. And it was like, yes, that's exactly what I'm looking for. That's exactly what I want. It just hit me so perfectly on that level that I was like, this movie fucking rocks. I listened to a podcast about the movie and they didn't like it. They were like, yeah, this was probably his worst movie and all this stuff. And I was like, fuck. Really? Like it was bad. And then I was just randomly listening to this other podcast, not related to the movie at all. But the movie came up and the guy on that podcast was like, oh, that's one of the best movies ever. And I was like, fuck, I knew it. I knew I was. [01:01:26] Speaker A: He likes Jurassic Park 2. [01:01:31] Speaker B: I knew you were going to say something about Jurassic park, dude. [01:01:34] Speaker A: It's mind boggling that that's in your top five. Like, I will still talk about that with stretch marks. [01:01:42] Speaker B: It's not. I don't know why you think that. It's the first movie I remember watching ever. [01:01:49] Speaker A: Go back to our movie episode. It is in your top five. [01:01:55] Speaker B: Yeah, I, I mean, it's not boggling. [01:02:00] Speaker A: Oh, it's not boggling that it's in your top five? It is, dude, because you're a grown ass man. You're like, you have depth to you. And you're like, yeah, I love Jurassic Park. [01:02:12] Speaker B: Jurassic park has depth. [01:02:16] Speaker A: I'm sure. [01:02:16] Speaker B: Your own creation, your own creation coming back to destroy you. That's not a deep theme to you. [01:02:25] Speaker A: That's every theme of movies where someone's creating something. Frankenstein. Is the, Is the Bride of Frankenstein in your top five? [01:02:34] Speaker B: That's. I mean, I love the Frankenstein movies, but that, that is. Yeah, that's kind of where the, the theme came from. It's a very Frankenstein kind of story. Yeah, okay, but I mean, like, Jeff Goldblum sums it up perfectly. He says, God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man creates dinosaur. Or man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs. And it's like, yes, that's what it is. Like the creation is coming for you. Like, that's scary as shit. But no, it's, it's about like a rejection of progress. And you know, this, this character, like, hates computers, he hates children, he hates the fact that they've brought back dinosaurs. And then he kind of just learns to accept life as it is and he gives up on his career of digging up dinosaur bones and living in the past and he starts to accept his future. [01:03:30] Speaker A: Who are you talking about? What movie are you talking about? [01:03:33] Speaker B: I'm talking about Dr. Alan Grant. Sam Neill's character. [01:03:39] Speaker A: I know who Alan Grant is. Good one, Wagner. That was a good one. For a minute there, I was like, I don't think we're talking about the same movie. Okay, you do know that there's, like, seven more Jurassic Parks. [01:03:56] Speaker B: Yes. And I have ranked them, if you want to hear. [01:04:01] Speaker A: I'm kind of curious. [01:04:04] Speaker B: All right, well, I mean, number two, we're gonna go with Jurassic World because that was just awesome. [01:04:11] Speaker A: Which one was that? Was that the one with that dude from Parks and Rec? [01:04:15] Speaker B: Yeah, it was the first new one. [01:04:18] Speaker A: Okay. [01:04:19] Speaker B: And it was just awesome because for those of us who had spent, you know, 25 years at that point loving this franchise, we'd never seen a functioning park. So, like, yeah, we get to see, like, 45 minutes of the park fully up and running, which is what we always wanted. So that alone puts it, you know, high up. I'll put the second one at number three. And number four is gonna be a toss up between Jurassic Park 3 and Fallen Kingdom. [01:05:00] Speaker A: The Fallen Kingdom. The last one. [01:05:04] Speaker B: It was the one before the last one. Okay, that was definitely the worst one. I'm gonna put that one last. And the one that just came out, I'm gonna put that just a little bit above. [01:05:14] Speaker A: Oh, how many are there? There are seven. [01:05:18] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:05:19] Speaker A: Yeah. So you saw the last one with the mutant dinosaur? [01:05:24] Speaker B: Yeah, that was the only part I liked. Really? [01:05:28] Speaker A: Really? [01:05:29] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:05:31] Speaker A: I mean, I thought it was. I thought that concept was. Yeah, I thought that concept was cool because now they're. They're meshing with. Hey, let's take a little T. Rex and mix it with a little Velociraptor, and. Yeah, see what we get. [01:05:51] Speaker B: What I hated most about the newest movie is that, like, the whole concept is that they have to get this DNA from living dinosaurs. Except do you remember how they brought dinosaurs back from the dead? They. They got. They had to find DNA from dead dinosaurs. It's like, yeah, that made no fucking sense. Honestly, if they just kept the story about the research facility where that mutant escaped and killed everyone, that would have been a better movie. [01:06:29] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:06:31] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:06:33] Speaker A: All right, so relationship. So did you just kind of, like, keep your depression to yourself? Did you verbalize it to your wife? Were you like, man, I'm done? [01:06:44] Speaker B: No, I didn't. I mean, I think she knows, but now I don't ever. [01:06:50] Speaker A: Do you verbalize your emotions to your wife in general? [01:06:54] Speaker B: I try not to. I don't need to burden her with that, you know? [01:07:00] Speaker A: Okay. Okay. Taking the man route. [01:07:02] Speaker B: Just. [01:07:03] Speaker A: Just balling it up and stuffing it way down inside and just. Yeah, just take some Pepto. [01:07:11] Speaker B: Later on, if I. If I bring it outside, then there really is no escape from it, you know, then she'll want to talk about. She'll ask me every day, how you feeling today? You feeling better? You look great. It's like, no, I can't do that. [01:07:31] Speaker A: Okay. Parents are happy. Okay, so was there any drastic. Outside of, like, you know, the financial aspect of things, were there any drastic changes in your lifestyle where you were like, dude, I need to. Or get more mentally. I'm speaking more mentally and emotionally than I. And even spiritually than I am financially? [01:08:06] Speaker B: Yeah, I think that really came probably, you know, mid to late September when I, like, started working out and was like. I acknowledged to myself, like, there is a problem here, and you've gotta do things to solve this, whether you feel like it or not. That was like, the moment of, like, yeah, you gotta get up and get moving. And, you know, not that they're fully related, but it wasn't long after I got into that mindset that I did get a job interview. So, I mean, like, I don't think they're fully unrelated. I think that, you know, that did prime my mind for success in a way. [01:09:01] Speaker A: And now from my research that I did, I saw that you were possibly making income doing worship. [01:09:11] Speaker B: I have been teaching guitar to some. [01:09:15] Speaker A: That's what it was. Okay. [01:09:17] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:09:19] Speaker A: Yeah. I cruise a Venmo and Cash app here and there, you know. [01:09:24] Speaker B: I see. [01:09:25] Speaker A: Okay. [01:09:25] Speaker B: I was wondering where you. Where you heard that. Yeah, no, I just. I'm teaching a friend's son guitar once a week when I can. [01:09:36] Speaker A: So, yeah, I saw the little guitar emoji, and I was like, oh, he's doing worship again. Good for this guy. But it was like, on a Thursday. [01:09:45] Speaker B: Yeah, I don't. I don't think I want to do that anymore. [01:09:50] Speaker A: What's the story with that? [01:09:53] Speaker B: That's just like. It's. Well, it's fucked up. It's fucked up. [01:10:00] Speaker A: It's a bad night with vodka. You kind of don't want to go back to it again for a while. [01:10:04] Speaker B: Sure. It's that. It's like, functionally, it's the stuff I hate. It's getting up early. It's doing the same set three times in a day. It's. It's all that stuff. [01:10:17] Speaker A: Sure. [01:10:17] Speaker B: I'm not a fan of that, but I'll do that for the sake of serving. That's whatever. The problem is that worship teams are always lacking. They always need Someone. And the worship leader is always burnt out and needs someone to fill in for him. And so I can't dip my toe into. Into that for very long. Even playing bass or whatever I'm doing before. I'm leading worship now, and maybe I'm doing it like twice a month, and maybe now I'm getting burnt out and now, you know, and it. It just always goes that way. And. Yeah, and it sucks again because, like, I don't want the worship leader to have to be burnt out. If I can. If I can take that burden, I want to do that for someone. But because worship teams are always so lacking in that area, I'm gonna get sucked into a cycle that I don't want to be a part of. [01:11:19] Speaker A: Yo, that sucks. But, yeah, I didn't pick to be worship leader, so. Yeah, I get it. [01:11:26] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:11:26] Speaker A: Are you attending church? [01:11:30] Speaker B: We were. We've been sick for the last couple weeks, so not in. In a while. And I don't know if I want to go back to the church that we've been going to. I just found. [01:11:43] Speaker A: I think that's the shitty part about where you're at, location wise. Yeah, Like, I can go to a new church, meet new people. You go to a new church, you see people we basically grew up in the faith with. [01:11:57] Speaker B: Yeah, dude, Honestly. Yeah. I'm still discovering people that I didn't know went to that church. You know, Like, I. I saw Rosie and Ryan after going there, like, four weeks. I had no idea they went there, you know, and it's. Which is fine. I don't mind that. [01:12:17] Speaker A: But you're like, hey, still selling dietary supplements? Because sure looks like you were. You are. I mean. [01:12:30] Speaker B: Yeah, man, I have an exciting business opportunity for you. Yeah. So I. I don't know. I found out that they have a female pastor, and that's, like, really on me for not researching the church hard enough. But, like, a bunch of my friends went there, so I just didn't overthink it. And then we were going there for like, four or five weeks, and then I find that out and I'm like, dude, so, like, now, I don't know. It doesn't bother me as much as it should, but at the same time, I'm like, I don't know if I want to, like, passively support that by going here, you know? And, like, I never hear a. A yip out of the. I mean, like, I've never heard her speak into a microphone, so it's not like a huge problem for me. But. But you know, at the same time, like, if they support that, then, like, I don't know where. Where else are you off? [01:13:25] Speaker A: See, that's my whole thing. People think I'm a stickler for female pastors, and I'm like, no, I'm not a stickler, but the Bible says that a pastor and refers to a pastor as a male. Says it's a male office. Where else are you saying I interpret the Bible this way? In this text or this text this way? Because that was more cultural or. You know what I mean? Like, I don't. Yeah, I don't. That's where I question. That's where I get a problem with it. Not only that, but, yeah, granted, I don't sit under women pastors, but I'm more at an age where, like, I want solid book by book, text by, like, verse by verse teaching, which they're doing. [01:14:09] Speaker B: So it confuses me that they've got this other thing going on on the side. [01:14:15] Speaker A: They skip over the pastoral epistles. They're like, we're gonna spend a year in Galatians. [01:14:20] Speaker B: Yeah, I. You know, I don't know. They. They've been an axe. And it's like. It's certainly not, like, a deep theology class or anything, but, like, as far as a sermon to a very mixed audience, I thought pretty. Pretty good. And for weeks, I was just like, yeah, this guy's solid. Like, I like this. And then it's like, oh, we might have some issues. [01:14:44] Speaker A: No, no. [01:14:46] Speaker B: It's like, I've got nothing against women pastors. It's. It's just that they're mentally and emotionally unstable. [01:14:53] Speaker A: Yeah. No, I'm not lying, dude. Like. Like, number three went with her mom to her mom's new church. And, like, it's. It's. A woman head pastor gets up there, teaches, starts crying about, like, an abortion she had years and years ago. [01:15:13] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [01:15:15] Speaker A: And, like, so much so that my number three was like, dude, I just felt so awkward. I felt like. And her boyfriend was like, dude, I didn't know what to do. Like, it was just weird. And I'm like, I'll tell you what to do. You get up and you say, I'm out. This is unbiblical. And you just. You let people know around you. Y'. All. You guys are. This is unbiblical. Anyhow, number three had a friend being baptized and said, hey, she's getting baptized at her church. So I went to her church. Church is nine weeks old. I just went to support her in her baptism, and it was A real young church, you know, a lot of energy. You know, guys from South Africa, white kid from South Africa, right? Like, first of all, you get the, you get the African card right on. You got that stupid little accent, you know what I mean? Like, it was like I had nothing against the guy. The message was good. It was, it was more. I had issues with the message just because he said, we're going to be in Ecclesiastes 1. He read through Ecclesiastes 1. He talked about, you know, being used where you're at. Good, good message overall. I thought the message was great. All of a sudden he's like, and I'm going to sum it up with Ecclesiastes like 13, 12. And I'm like, Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We skipped two through 12. You know, like what, what do you, you know? Okay. But I did tell stretch marks, I said, I can see you come into a place like this. Like, it's not unbiblical teaching. It's not verse by verse and kind of, you know, this is more your age range. It's more exciting, if you will. You know, like, they like this, this is great for you. Like, this is just not where I'm at. I want verse by verse. I want a little deeper teaching that, you know, kind of opens me up. Not that, not that I always get that from church, but, you know, I was always taught that church should be a TV dinner compared to what you eat during the week, you know, So I don't know. But you know, stretch marks at a spot where he's kind of, you know, wanting something more out of life and, and serving the Lord and it's like, dude, go. Go ask that church if you could serve somewhere in, inside its body. Meet some people, you know, get out. [01:17:45] Speaker B: Yeah, and, and that's like, you know, I'd really just love like a deep sermon, a couple hymns, communion, and we're out in an hour and 10 minutes, you know what I mean? Like, I would love that. [01:18:02] Speaker A: Unfortunately. [01:18:04] Speaker B: Yeah, man. If I could worship from Reverence and the teaching from King's Cross, that would have been like the perfect church, but I just can't find it anywhere, you know? [01:18:20] Speaker A: Give me some, like, some. Maybe some Chris Tomlin and Paul Washer. [01:18:28] Speaker B: I'm honestly, dude, I'm fine with Chris Tomlin, but Chris Tom songs, Chris Tomlin's songs are old fashioned hymns compared to like Hillsong songs for sure. [01:18:44] Speaker A: But there are some Hillsong songs I'll definitely take, you know, when, when, you know, like when I touch the sky or Whatever that is. And you know. [01:18:52] Speaker B: Nope. Gay. What? Gay. Touching clouds is gay. Dude. [01:18:59] Speaker A: I touched the sky when my knees hit the ground. [01:19:02] Speaker B: Oh, I, I don't, I don't really have much of a preference over music. That's just. If I was gonna design my perfect church, that's what I would do. But it's not really feasible with a little kid, dude. Like, you can't go to some janky church plant with no children's ministry when you've got a two year old. There's just not in the cards. So like. [01:19:25] Speaker A: No, no, it's not at all. You need that, that, that childcare system. Yeah. [01:19:32] Speaker B: Which she can't even partake in because she can't be left alone, so. But this church has a room specifically for moms with toddlers where you. They play the sermon on a TV so the moms can listen and the kids can run around in the playroom and be safe. [01:19:51] Speaker A: There's actually a lot of churches like that. But I understand where you're at because I remember those years of like trying to get away from your kid and leave them with this person, you know, and they're just like screaming their head off because they're like, I want to go with you. I don't know who this person is. You know, it's a new person every week. [01:20:11] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, we just, we can't do it. I don't know, we've. We've tried it a couple times and we'll give her 15 minutes, but if she's still like screaming and purple faced after 15 minutes, it just like, we're just torturing her for no reason, dude. Like, let's just, let's just pull her out, you know? [01:20:28] Speaker A: Well, that dude. And it's, it, it becomes a chore. It becomes a chore going to church where you're just like, like we're not just going parking, dropping her off, going to a sermon, we're going parking. And now we're like getting there early enough to where, like we're not missing all of worship, getting shitty seats. You know, I, I get it. I get it. [01:20:52] Speaker B: Yeah. So, you know, that's, that's been a strobe. But so long story short, too late. But we're not like plugged in anywhere. But there is a church that we've been going to for, you know, pretty consistently. But I don't know if I want to keep going there. But where the fuck are we gonna go if we don't go there? I mean, there's really nowhere to go. So. I don't know if we're gonna stop going there. [01:21:22] Speaker A: All right, so let me ask you, now that you got this job, where have you seen that maybe you weren't sensitive to? Where have you seen in your life maybe some change as far as attitude, mentality, emotional welfare, all that? Where have you seen, like, you know, some change in your. In your life where maybe not your wife knows, maybe not your kid knows, but you're like, wow, like, you know, mentally, like, I'm. I'm. I'm, you know, like you. I'm back. [01:21:55] Speaker B: Yes. You know, gratitude. It hit me today or yesterday. I can't quite remember when it was, but living in Oklahoma for five years has made me in love with the scenery here in Orange County. It's just like, one of the most beautiful places on the planet. And where I work, I don't really want to go too deep into where I work, but where I work, we're surrounded by hills. Like, we're just tucked up against this hill, and it just, like, you look out for miles in every direction and you're just seeing beautiful hillside scenery. And I was driving home and just something about, you know, some. Some view I saw. I don't even remember where I was, but it hit me where I was. Like, I am so grateful to be here and to have a job, you know, like. Like this is what I was shooting for, you know, like, all those years ago at this point, when we basically decided to make this move. It was getting a good job like this and being in the most beautiful place in the world with my family, all of my family, and, you know, getting my life back. And it really hit me today that I've got it all now, in a sense. [01:23:27] Speaker A: That's awesome. [01:23:28] Speaker B: Not all all, but all in a. In a all I need kind of way. Maybe not all I want, but, like, definitely all I need. And, yeah, and I. I just had a real moment in the car of, like, real gratitude to God that as hard as it was, and it certainly was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be, He. He brought me through it, and I'm here now, you know. [01:23:56] Speaker A: Now let me ask you this, Wagner. Did you find yourself during your. [01:24:02] Speaker B: Your. [01:24:02] Speaker A: Your out of work period? Did you find yourself kind of talking to God in the sense of, like, what are you asking me to do? Am I not doing something? You know, did you find yourself in that state? [01:24:22] Speaker B: No, I think there was the same kind of emotional avoidance between me and God as there was with me and my wife. You know, I was like, if I. If I really verbalize this, then it's real and I kind of have to work on it, you know, Whereas I can kind of sweep it under the rug if I'm just kind of leaving that in its place and then just having my regular prayer time. [01:24:49] Speaker A: I can understand that. I can understand that. Do you think that that avoidance is. Is with yourself more than anybody outside of your. Your sphere? Like, outside of yourself? Because, you know, God's all knowing. Okay. Okay. [01:25:07] Speaker B: Yeah. Cuz, like, I'll. I'll think. Yeah. Like, you asked me about journaling, and it's like, I don't know how deep I went into journaling because I just didn't have the energy to do that. But in my head, I'm certainly doing the emotional math on that. Like, I. In my head, I know I've watched four movies today because I don't have energy to do anything else, you know. [01:25:31] Speaker A: Now how are you watching these movies? And I'm gonna. I'm gonna ask. Okay, first I'm gonna comment on this. When I was laid off, I got to a point where I started fasting in order, like, thinking, okay, like, Lord, I'm expecting an answer. I'm fasting because I have a need and I want. I want to hear from you on this needle. I got to a point where I was like, am I not doing something? You are asking, asking of me, you know, am I not. Am I supposed to go back to my ex? And this is your way of, like, getting me back to my ex? Because, you know, is it a hard change you want? What are you asking of me? So that's what I went through, which is why I asked you. And now back to my original question. How are you watching these movies? Were you sitting up on the couch? [01:26:25] Speaker B: Yes. [01:26:25] Speaker A: Or were you like, fuck it, I'm taking up the whole couch. Like, I'm. I'm like. Or were you in bed? Like, where were you? [01:26:35] Speaker B: It was a mix. So I've got. I've got like a jailbroken Android TV. I've got a DVD player. I've got, you know, movies DVR'd on the living room TV. So just kind of wherever I was at, I could flip on a movie and just sort of zone out. [01:26:54] Speaker A: I mean, like, let's say. Let's say we're second movie in. We laying down at this point. Are we still sitting up? [01:27:01] Speaker B: I'm. I'm sitting up, but I'm reclining. It's a. It's a reclining couch. [01:27:07] Speaker A: Were you. Were you going to Sleep during some of these movies, Waking up to them? [01:27:10] Speaker B: No, no, I. I don't nap. [01:27:15] Speaker A: Ooh. [01:27:17] Speaker B: If I do, I wake up up. It ruins the day. [01:27:27] Speaker A: So you didn't sleep at all through your days off? No, no. [01:27:32] Speaker B: If I did that, then I. I definitely wasn't helping with the baby. That would have been a. A whole thing. [01:27:39] Speaker A: Yeah, I get that. Yeah. I can understand. You had some responsibility to me. [01:27:44] Speaker B: So at least, you know, it was like, every 20 minutes, I can pause the movie, I can go check on her, play with her for a little while. Then my back hurts, and I'll just go turn the movie back on, you know, so I'm, like, still involved. I'm still in the mix. You know what I mean? [01:28:00] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. Rocking her swing with your foot so she doesn't disturb you. I get it. I get it. Okay. Yeah. I was just curious. I know. For me, it was like. I just got in that space where it was just like, I'm turning on tv. Just. Just. Just do something at times, you know, Like. And. And I would fall. I'd pass out and wake up, you know, before anybody else got home, so. So it looked like I was not worthless, you know? That's how I felt. [01:28:38] Speaker B: Yeah. And it's like. It really. It's interesting that, like, that's the impression because of everything else I believe about just, like, the work system, if you want to call it that. Like, you have to be. You're chosen by AI so you and 10,000 other people put your resume in for this shitty job, and then AI or someone completely unqualified decides who the lucky few are gonna be who get to go on this thing called an interview, where you go and you either lie or drastically undersell yourself to these people who know that this is a sham. Like, they know that the whole interview process is kind of fake and gay and doesn't really work, but they're still judging and grading you as if this is the most important process. [01:29:39] Speaker A: And then it kind of is. I'm not gonna lie, dude. I mean, I gotta know. I like who I work with. Sure. [01:29:45] Speaker B: But, like, these. You know, what would you do if you were a dolphin in this position? You know, these questions just. They don't. Dude, they. They don't capture a person's essence whatsoever. And people are so nervous on a job interview. You have no idea what these people's personalities are really like. [01:30:06] Speaker A: I'm not gonna lie. I had a great offer to be, like, the construction director for Blackrock Coffee out here. [01:30:15] Speaker B: Mm. [01:30:15] Speaker A: I'm in the Interview. I'm knocking these questions out, dude. Just out the park, dude. Just all of them. He gets to this one question, and he goes, how does procore, which is a construction management system, how does Procore make you feel? I said, feel? What do you. What do you. What do you mean by making me feel? He's like, well, how do you. How do you feel when. When someone says, you got to work through pro corn? I'm like, it's a software. Like, I'll use any software to get the job done. I don't really have feelings connected to it. And he's like, maybe I'm asking this wrong. He's like, what emotion does it invoke in you? [01:30:57] Speaker B: And I'm like, so he just asked the same question. [01:31:00] Speaker A: Yeah. And I'm like, maybe I'm asking. I'm not sure. Yeah. Like, I don't think you understand. I don't care what software it is. They're all the same to me. [01:31:11] Speaker B: But this guy was so cuts to the dad and stepbrothers, and he's like, I don't give a. [01:31:18] Speaker A: Yeah, don't you have job interviews tomorrow? And, dude, it was because he didn't work for pro. For BlackRock. He was like, the guy that they were hiring. They. He. They were hiring his firm to kind of fill in for that. But the guy was so attached. Like, every time you talk to him about Procore, he was like, oh, did you know the new updates are coming out with where they're gonna do this. This. This next year? And I'm like, no. No clue. At all. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. It was. Yeah. Needless to say, I didn't get the job. [01:31:53] Speaker B: I'm actually glad. I'm glad that you didn't have to work with this person. [01:32:00] Speaker A: I guess I'm too, actually. [01:32:01] Speaker B: So, yeah, he was. [01:32:04] Speaker A: Yeah, he always wore Patagonia stuff. Like, everything he had was Patagonia. [01:32:13] Speaker B: All I'm saying is, like, the whole process is kind of fake. It doesn't really prepare you for who you're hiring. It doesn't prepare the person you're hiring for what the job's actually like. It's just. And we know it, too, because I've had most people who have ever hired me have told me later how much they hate the interview process because it's so fake, and it doesn't really get what you want out of the people. And I'm like, well, why are we doing it that, like, we all know this is kind of. [01:32:48] Speaker A: I think it's the process in which is done. Like, when I interviewed people, I would call them to an active job site and I'd say, okay, do me a favor. There's the prints of what I'm currently building. Tell me in there where the steel lintels are. Tell me in there where this is at. I want to know that you know what you're doing. [01:33:10] Speaker B: That's. That's a perfect. Because you're in the environment, you're with the people. It's not super formal. We're actually going to test your knowledge of things we're actually going to be doing. I've never been on an interview that did anything like that. You know what I mean? [01:33:26] Speaker A: I did have one interview this last go around where they handed me a set of prints and was like, hey, here's like 21 questions that we came up with. You have 30 minutes to find the answers in these prints. And, like, first they gave it to me on a. On a. Like a TV screen connected to the laptop. And I'm like, pause, pause, pause. Can you please get me a hard copy of these prints? That's my first thing. I was like, I can't work on a screen. Not that I can't work on a screen, but, like, I have to move around a screen where, if you give me the paper, I see the whole thing all together. I don't have to zoom in to read something. I want to zoom out, drag it to this corner, and then go back and drag. No, no, no, no. I can look at the print. My eyes move quicker than I can move a mouse. Yeah, I thought that was a very productive interview. [01:34:21] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, that. That kind of stuff would be great. But it's like. I mean, the first interview I had with this place was literally six questions. And it was like, mostly about, like, relational stuff. It was mostly like, tell us about a time you had a conflict with someone you worked with. Tell us. Which I like. I see why that stuff would be useful to know. But if you think, like, a nervous person going on a job interview is going to tell you the truth about a conflict they had at a previous job. Yeah, you're out of your fucking. [01:34:57] Speaker A: I shit the bed on this one. Gosh, you won't believe it, you know? [01:35:06] Speaker B: Yeah. But it's like, you. Do you think my answer to that was like, yeah, I've made almost every female I've ever worked with cry. You know, like, no, it wasn't that. [01:35:23] Speaker A: And so Harold said this, and I said, go yourself, Harold. And honestly, the conversation was over. Never got brought back up. Again, you know, it was always awkward to be between me and Harold walking the halls, but he didn't say. [01:35:38] Speaker B: Kind of kept his distance, if I'm being honest. No, but honestly, I was worried about this kind of job that, like, everywhere I've ever worked has always been pretty stuck up. Like, not, you know, pretty conservative culturally and not interesting in the hilarity that I bring to the table, you know? [01:36:07] Speaker A: But you would have been perfect at our company, man. [01:36:10] Speaker B: Yeah, I agree, but, like, it's. I. It's always a Christian company. Like, most places I've worked for have been Christian. They've been pretty right wing. So, like, when I start joking around, most of the time, everyone's cool with it and they're not bothered. And depending on, you know, how permissive the environment is, that humor might get a lot worse. Going into this new job, I was like, well, I'm gonna have to really keep a lid on, because this is the kind of environment that they re. This is the kind of environment they talk about on podcasts. You know what I mean? So, like, I gotta. I gotta really. I think my headphones just died, but I got a really. I got to really keep a lid on this. And then, I mean, within five minutes, this dude that I'm shadowing outs himself as, like, a racist Republican. And I was like, God, you've always got me covered, dude. This guy in the first five minutes talked about how much he loved Trump, how much he loved Charlie Kirk, and if anyone you're on the phone with has an accent, they're probably trying to scam you. And he's like, and I don't believe in that sensitivity. If they've got an accent, they're probably scamming you. [01:37:39] Speaker A: Yeah, we got. We got a bunch of. We got this old man who's, you know those racists that, like, they're really good at hiding it, but there's a part of them that's not racist. They're only racist against certain people. So, like, he has, like, black laborers, and he's like, oh, yeah, go ask old blackie over there. But then, like, when he found out I was dating a nurse, he was like, oh, yeah, I've only married medical. He's like, for some reason, I'm only married medical. He's like, but right now, I got these little Asian broads I bring over, and this dude's probably 70 something. And he just, you know, this morning he was like, how are you? And the nurse, how are you? And the little lady? And I was like, it's kind of rough right now because it's my week. It's the week I have my daughter. So, you know, we're kind of like friends, if you will, when my daughter's around, you know, I was like, you can't really be. I can't really be affectionate with her, you know, because, you know, I try and protect my daughters from knowing I have someone special in my life unless it's serious, you know, the youngest one, really. And he was, he's like, oh, you got your daughter this week. Oh, that's a bummer. That's a bummer, dude. I get where you're going, but at the same time, like, it's not a bummer to have your kid around, you know, just like, oh, I mean, I remember I was dating this my. One of my. My son's teacher. And you know, he, like, she'd come around and like, well, he'd be there for the weekend and she'd have to leave till Monday, you know, like, I guess I'll just see you Monday. I'm like, holy, dude. Like, you're raw, bro. You are so raw with it. [01:39:18] Speaker B: Hey, Bernie, what. What are your plans for the weekend? Oh, well, my daughter's coming over. Dude, that. [01:39:30] Speaker A: I got my daughter. Oh, sorry to hear that, pal. [01:39:35] Speaker B: There was this great how I met your mother where she was on a date with a guy who had just been through a divorce. And he was like, yeah, but, you know, I got full custody of the kids. And she just goes, oh, bummer. And then, like, she sees his face change and then she goes, oh, full custody is winning, isn't it? [01:40:00] Speaker A: Yeah, it's. It's cool. But it definitely is hard, you know, like, we spent Tuesday night together and number four was there. And you know number four. Well, I had like a after work thing and nobody could watch her, you know, so I'm like asking everybody, like, my other daughters, hey, what time you get off work? Oh, it's too late. It's too late. And so I was like, you know what? So I share with her my, my frustration and kind of what I was going through because it was a last minute work thing. And she goes, hey, you can just drop her off at my work. I'll take her home from there, we'll hang out. Number four was all about it. And so we do that and I go pick her up. And it was just like, number four had like so much energy and me and her, just drained. We want to go lay naked in bed, you know, and it's like, we can't not only can we not do that, we can't say, hey, babe, touch, kiss, hug too long. I mean, it was just. It was just. It was taxing, if you will, you know? It was really taxing. But number four is ready to move in there, and so. But she also doesn't know that we're like. When I say, all right, I love you, she's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. It was. It was cute the other night, I said something. I said, all right, babe. And she was, whoa, how many. I'm talking to Miami, you know? I'm like, oh, babe. You know, all right, babe. Number four looks at me and she goes, whoa. How many chapters did I miss? [01:41:33] Speaker B: What an awesome way to say that. [01:41:36] Speaker A: You know what I mean? I was like, dang. That's the same thing I said. I started laughing. I was like, that's awesome. So. But yeah, man, it's. [01:41:46] Speaker B: I. When I tell you I hid in. [01:41:48] Speaker A: The closet, did I talk about that. [01:41:50] Speaker B: Last week that you what? [01:41:53] Speaker A: That her husband stopped by and I hid in the closet. [01:41:55] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, yeah, you told me. I wanted to. I wanted to say. While we were on that topic, when I gave my top five movies, did I say the other f word? [01:42:08] Speaker A: Is that a movie? Movie? [01:42:10] Speaker B: Yeah, it's a documentary. [01:42:13] Speaker A: No. No. [01:42:14] Speaker B: Okay. I think whatever I gave, I got to change it, and I got to put that one in there. It is a documentary about specifically punk musicians who had kids and then had to balance, like, their career in music with having a family. And I saw it when I was, like, 18. That's probably when it came out. And it's what made me want to be a dad. And. And I think about things from that movie every day when I'm dealing with my kid. And Fat Mike, who from no Effects, who I'm not really a fan of, but he talked about how his parents were divorced and he had to go, like, stay with his dad on the weekends at, like, his, like, you know, adults only, like, apartment complex or whatever. And he would just, like, stay inside playing video games all day while his dad was down at the pool. And he said, like, as an adult, my dad told me that I didn't really like having you around. [01:43:19] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:43:19] Speaker B: And, you know, and obviously he's got a little daughter, and, you know, he's a great dad and everything. But that was, like, one of those statements that really stuck with me. Not that I felt that at all, but, like, I do not ever want to give my kid that feeling that, like, I didn't like having them around. You Know, so it just made me think of that when you're. When your friend at work was saying that about your kid being around, it just. Oh, that sucks. Bummer, dude. Your kids here? [01:43:54] Speaker A: Yeah, man. That's gotta suck. I'm like, no, not. Not really. Like, she comes first. [01:44:01] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:44:02] Speaker A: All right, man. Well, we're going on 140something. Yep. Thank you for sharing tonight, by the way. You know, I know that's not the easiest thing. [01:44:12] Speaker B: I hope it was useful in some way. I don't know, you know, if I really got deep enough, but, you know, I think that was good. We did some episodes where we kind of talked about where you were at with the job hunt and everything. That feels like a hundred years ago now. [01:44:29] Speaker A: It does. And. Yeah, and it's good to get the other perspective. I think that's why, again, I share this so much, is because we come from such different spectrums, you know, like, where you're younger, married, in a marriage. I'm older, older kids, divorced. So, yeah, you know, there's. There's that aspect of it. So, yeah, I do. You know, and. And honestly, I think it's. I think our experiences at the same time were way different. Are way different, you know, like, so. But, yeah, I appreciate you, man, for sharing that. [01:45:05] Speaker B: Yeah, man. Yeah. All right, well, hit me up when we figure out what we're gonna do next week, I guess. [01:45:15] Speaker A: Oh, I already know what we're doing next week. [01:45:18] Speaker B: Oh, right, you told me, but I forgot. [01:45:20] Speaker A: I want to know more about. So I want to know more about the Jews. [01:45:25] Speaker B: Oh, right. Okay. [01:45:27] Speaker A: Well, the book of Revelation talks about Jews not being real Jews. [01:45:34] Speaker B: Romans. [01:45:37] Speaker A: Is it Romans? [01:45:38] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:45:40] Speaker A: Okay. Oh, so. Or no, I want to say it was Revelation where it says, like, in the end times, like, Jewish temples will not be filled with real. Real Jews. It might be Romans, but. [01:45:52] Speaker B: Oh, like the synagogue. Satan. Yeah. [01:45:55] Speaker A: And there's a lot of going on right now with Israel and the Jews, and I've always been one of those guys. Well, you support Israel because that's what the Bible says. Like, that Israel's his chosen people, but they're doing some real shady. [01:46:09] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. And I think when it comes to that issue of, like, Israel, look, we're gonna. We shouldn't get into the whole thing. But Romans. Romans does speak very loudly, that just because you are genealogically a Jew does not make you a Jew in the faith. And I think that is key to understanding, like, where Israel sits in the current theology, you know, like, it's not about a nation anymore. You Know, so we'll dive into that. [01:46:46] Speaker A: So I definitely want to look that up, look into that a little bit, you know. [01:46:50] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [01:46:51] Speaker A: I'll. [01:46:52] Speaker B: I'll get Chatgpt to give me like a good, like bulleted list of things we should cover and talk about and hope that it doesn't report me. [01:47:03] Speaker A: That's kind of where I'm at. [01:47:05] Speaker B: Yeah. And then maybe we'll shoot it over to number one and see if she can polish it up or she's left us. [01:47:16] Speaker A: I'm going to reach out to her and see if she has some take on it from, from her young life. [01:47:22] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:47:22] Speaker A: What she's seeing across her feed. Yeah. [01:47:25] Speaker B: Like, are you pressured to love the Jews or do you hate them like other people on Tick Tock, you know? [01:47:33] Speaker A: Yeah. I don't know if you heard, but I mean like, whatever his name is, Yachting Ben, Yahoo or whatever his name is. [01:47:42] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:47:44] Speaker A: He is. He has actually gone to the point where he's saying, hey, like, we're not fighting with men on the ground or Right. You know, old school. He's like, we have to take the fight to Tick Tock Instagram X. And that's the real reason why the US is trying to take ownership or get China to release Tick Tock. So that Yacht and Binyahu or whatever can. Can then they can, they can actually filter what is on there, there and, and dictate through there. [01:48:18] Speaker B: It is interesting how those two story lines are starting to collide. I believe I just heard Tik Tock was purchased by one of the largest donors to the idf. [01:48:32] Speaker A: Really? [01:48:33] Speaker B: Yeah. So I have to imagine that some censorship is coming there. And I heard something similar about like CBS and cnn. Like all these major outlets are being sold to like very pro Israel voices. So I would expect a change to come pretty soon. And like, what you're hearing about that. [01:48:53] Speaker A: A lot of Charlie Kirk's doctors, hospitals and all that, they did a ping search on these people and they were all searched within the, like the previous months. Once from Israel before his death. [01:49:12] Speaker B: Interesting. [01:49:13] Speaker A: And all of them were in new positions. The coroner, the. The operating doctor. All of them were in like new positions prior to Charlie Kirk's death. They were all basically put in that position. It's kind of nuts, dude. [01:49:26] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [01:49:28] Speaker A: And Charlie Kirk apparently was coming out to like, he was struggling with supporting Israel in anymore. [01:49:34] Speaker B: Yeah, that was, that was the wackiest thing that Candace uncovered was that Josh Hammer who came out after Charlie's death and said like, he never was questioning Israel. That's not true. He never had a. I heard Josh. [01:49:50] Speaker A: Hammer is a great book. [01:49:52] Speaker B: Yeah, that whole. That whole thing. He's in that group text where Charlie says, I don't know if I can support this anymore. So that's even crazier that you were in a group text 24 hours before the dude died where you knew he was saying these things, and then you chose to come out and lie, specifically when I'm guessing no one asked you to do that. You know what I mean? So it's like, dude, yeah, that's crazy. But Dave. Dave Smith. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Anyways, we're getting into the. The whole episode. No, I was. I was just gonna say Dave Smith debated Josh Hammer a few months ago, moderated by Charlie Kirk. And. [01:50:36] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, I heard about that. [01:50:38] Speaker B: And he. With all of this stuff coming out about Israel and stuff, he's like, God, I sure hope that that wasn't one of the straws that broke the camel's back, because that was kind of one of the first things Charlie Kirk had really done that was kind of swaying toward, you know, not supposed to supporting Israel. And he said in the back, they all three agreed. We're gonna have like, a really, you know, civilized debate. No ad hominem attacks. Like, awesome. And then they go out on stage, and one of the first things Josh Hammer says is that he's disgusted to share the stage with Dave Smith. And. And so he was talking about the Candace thing, and he's like, so. Just so you know, this is a duplicitous, lying piece of. So, like, you know, just to set the tone. And now we see this. Just so you know, he is a liar. Like, everything he does is lie, you know? [01:51:28] Speaker A: Damn. [01:51:29] Speaker B: Yeah. Anyways, so lots to talk about next. [01:51:32] Speaker A: All right. Man Juice next week. [01:51:34] Speaker B: All right, love you. [01:51:35] Speaker A: I'll send this over to you tomorrow. [01:51:36] Speaker B: All right, love you. Take it easy. [01:51:38] Speaker A: All right, bye.