009: Maybe if You're a Crybaby Bitch

[00:00:00] Speaker A: I'm not in a good mood. [00:00:03] Speaker B: We're actually in a good mood. [00:00:04] Speaker A: I'm not in a good mood. First of all, I'm gonna crack open this beer. I've been saving this beer. [00:00:13] Speaker B: Turn off the fan. My apologies. If you heard the fan, you're not in a good mood. What's going on? [00:00:19] Speaker A: All right. [00:00:20] Speaker B: What beer is that, by the way? [00:00:21] Speaker A: Oh, this is a. An imported Coors Banquet. It's made with. [00:00:31] Speaker B: It's made the Golden Rockies. [00:00:33] Speaker A: It's made with Rocky water. [00:00:36] Speaker B: All right. Okay. No more interruptions. What you got for me, man? What happened? [00:00:41] Speaker A: No, it's okay. I love it. Okay, so I go, I work. I still work for the same company I worked for for the last four years, but I'm across the street now in tech support. And tomorrow is a former coworker's birthday. So I made her a card and I was dropping it off after work because I got off at 3:30. So. [00:01:07] Speaker B: Is this the same former co worker that wanted you to smoke a cigarette and buy a pack of cigarettes? [00:01:12] Speaker A: No, that's. She doesn't, she doesn't work there anymore, man. [00:01:16] Speaker B: Yeah, you said former coworker, something like this guy. [00:01:19] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:01:19] Speaker B: I hope his wife don't listen to this. [00:01:21] Speaker A: No, no, no. [00:01:22] Speaker B: She gets brought up a lot. [00:01:26] Speaker A: I go over and I give my co worker, my former co worker her card and I'm talking to my, my old team for, you know, like 40 minutes. I'm getting these calls from Kentucky. I get the same call like three times in a row. And I get spam calls all day. So it's not anything I think about. [00:01:46] Speaker B: If I know, but if three in a row. [00:01:48] Speaker A: Yes. So I start to think it's weird and I'm like, kentucky, what a fucking weird. Like I don't know anyone in Kentucky. I'm ignoring this. Like it's. It must be some kind of spam thing. So I'm driving home and, you know, I've been very chill lately. Really working on my blood pressure, really working on like positivity and, you know, being calm and like catching myself throughout the day when I'm getting worked up and I get into this fucking road rage thing. There's a lane that ends right before I get to my neighborhood and the traffic. [00:02:27] Speaker B: Now does it end or does it merge or is it like, hey, turns left? [00:02:32] Speaker A: No, it merges. It just ends and merges into the other lane. [00:02:36] Speaker B: Yeah, I got something like that out here. [00:02:37] Speaker A: Yeah. So I like to get into the left lane and just not merge. I'll deal With a, you know, minute long delay just to not have to merge. So I'm. I'm chill like that, but it's backed up like a block, so I can't even get in there. But as soon as we get past the light, it's all open. I just speed up into that merge lane and get over. And I'm good. And I go around everyone who stopped at the light and, you know, no one, no one's having a bad day. This guy, dude, he sees, he sees my blinker come on and he. As fast as he can, he gets all the way up right next to me where I can't get over. And I still, I gave him a little, like, I still got over. Like, hey, my blinker was on. I'm getting over. I don't give a fuck what you do. We'll see. We'll see what happens to you. Four door sedan. I'm in a fucking tundra. We'll see. And. And he did it all the way until. I mean, this, this lane ends in a ditch. So it's like I can't go all the way. I can't just keep going. You know, I had to slam on my brakes, get right behind this guy. And. And I thought, like, I haven't done in years, dude, I got on this guy's ass. Like, I was, I. If he had stopped, I would have decimated his car. It would have been over. But like, my, my neighborhood came up in, you know, I don't know, quarter mile. So I didn't get to enjoy this at all. I just had to turn off. And like, I would have followed him, but I was already late. So I. I go home, I'm like, I'm like having a problem. Like when I'm in the car, I'm in the driveway and I'm like, I need to calm down before I go in the house. Like, my heart rate is. [00:04:22] Speaker B: You're like, I'm punching the steering wheel. [00:04:25] Speaker A: Oh, I was, I was screaming and punching the steering wheel when it first happened. But like, I am having vivid, vivid daydreams of like, what would have happened if I followed this guy. I catch up to him at a light, I punch his fucking window out, and I drive out like I'm having daydreams and I'm finding myself walking quickly through the hall. Or like, putting, putting my keys down on the counter. Like I slammed my keys down on the counter because I'm. I'm thinking about all these things in my head and I'm not paying attention to what I'M doing. So I'm like, I need to get alone and I need to calm down. Like, I'm. I'm having a problem. [00:04:57] Speaker B: Happened all today. [00:04:58] Speaker A: Yes. This is all just coming home today, today. So I finally, I find my center and I. I go and I sit down on the couch. I'm playing with the baby. And my wife was like, hey, was there a package at the door? And I was like, oh, yeah, my package was there. And she was like, no, no, I knew about that one. Was there another one? Because someone was knocking on the door earlier. And that's when I realized that bitch was coming at 4:00 to buy my bookshelf. I fucking. I blew this bitch off entirely. She was calling me. She was ringing on the doorbell, and I blew her off. And I. I get the messages from Facebook Marketplace and she's like, hey, I'm here. Hey. Hey, what's up? I don't know what to do. I live 45 minutes away. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do here. Holy. It was all in, like an hour. [00:05:59] Speaker B: Not the same chick. Not the person that, that pulled up on the side of you. [00:06:03] Speaker A: No, no, that was incidental. Okay, that, that had nothing to do. [00:06:06] Speaker B: With it, but it, but that just affected you. [00:06:09] Speaker A: It was all probably 15 minutes from the road rage incident to me being on the couch figuring out, oh, I was supposed to be here at 4 to. To give this lady the bookcase. [00:06:21] Speaker B: Doesn't Siri have something where you could be like, hey, Siri, remind me at 5:00. I gotta be so. [00:06:27] Speaker A: I sure should have. I thought to myself, you know what? I should put a reminder in my phone because there's no way I'll remember. And I was like, nah, you know, it's tomorrow. [00:06:36] Speaker B: I live by them. [00:06:37] Speaker A: I got it. It's. I live by, it's tomorrow. Marketplace stresses me out. Whenever I have an appointment. It stresses me out enough that I remember, so I'm not. I'm not worried about missing one. Blew it off, dude. [00:06:49] Speaker B: Telling you, man, I live by it. I live by it. I said to our. I'm like, oh, it's tomorrow. I might get caught up in my day, just in general. And I'm like, all right, hey, you know, so and so. I don't want to say it now, but, hey, so and so. Remind me at 1:00 if I got. If I got a 4:00. Remind me at 2:00 that I have to be home. And then I see it and I'm like, okay, it gives me an hour to wrap up what I'm doing and get home. [00:07:16] Speaker A: Yeah, but, like, keep in mind, I get home at 3:45 every day. Like, I don't go anywhere. So, like, the worst case is I pick up like a target order on my way home and I'm home at 350 instead of 345. So that's why I set it for four, because I knew I'd be home with a wide margin. And then this one day, I decide, oh, I'm going to go see my old coworkers and fuck around for an hour. So she agreed to come tomorrow. Luckily, but. [00:07:46] Speaker B: And you'll cover her gas. [00:07:47] Speaker A: Fuck. Dude. Here's the thing. [00:07:49] Speaker B: Knocking down the price. [00:07:50] Speaker A: Oh, my God. Dude, it's a $300 bookcase that I'm selling for $99. So I'm already. I was like. I was thinking. I was like, God, I should just give it to her for 90. Like, just something she didn't ask for. [00:08:02] Speaker B: Shit, that's the number I was thinking. [00:08:04] Speaker A: That's. That makes sense. [00:08:05] Speaker B: That's the number I was. [00:08:06] Speaker A: Didn't ask for. [00:08:06] Speaker B: Just taking even 90. [00:08:07] Speaker A: Ask for shit, I'll just give it to her for 90. And then that's cool, because, like, if she had asked for 80 and I said 90, that's shitty. But, like, she didn't ask for shit. I'll give it to her for 90. And then I was like, dude, I'm already taking a bath on this bookcase. I need the money. Like, I can't give her a discount. [00:08:24] Speaker B: Yeah, but here's the thing. Here's the thing, man. I get why you do it. From a marketing standpoint, under a hundred dollars. [00:08:29] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:08:30] Speaker B: Maybe there's a special category. [00:08:31] Speaker A: It worked. [00:08:32] Speaker B: Or hashtag it did. But those nine, it's true that five and four singles or 19. That's a weird. That's a weird. That's. It's gone. It's gone. Like, it's gone already. Like, because it's such a small bill, that's what you're gonna pay with at the gas station until it's gone. And then you're like, okay, I can't really break 20s because once you break the 20, it's gone. [00:08:54] Speaker A: And I'll go. I'll go more philosophical for you. The guilt that I feel for what I did to this woman. If I can get out of that for nine bucks, that's easy. That's easy. Deal. [00:09:06] Speaker B: Yeah, she. If you. If you could deliver a smile, you'll be Good. [00:09:09] Speaker A: Yeah. I was shocked. I was shocked that she still wanted it. I was like, dude, if someone did that to me 45 minutes away, she had to bar. [00:09:16] Speaker B: She. [00:09:17] Speaker A: She had to use her husband's truck. So this guy's pissed off because this guy didn't want to go 45 minutes to pick up this fucking bookcase. I know. I know the story. [00:09:26] Speaker B: Let's do it. Let's do it. I'll send you. I'll send you 20. [00:09:30] Speaker A: Give it to her for 80. Don't do that. Oh, oh, Mr. New Job. What up, Mr. New Job? Talking to the broke. You son of a bitch. You think you're better than me? [00:09:42] Speaker B: No, man. But honestly, like, the fact that she didn't request it in a land of Karens. [00:09:48] Speaker A: Right? [00:09:50] Speaker B: You know? And like, honestly, I want to. I almost want to challenge you to say, like, try and just say, hey, like, here for 80, and then try and do something with it. God bless you. Oh, you're a Christian, too? Try and do something with that. Like, it actually feeds your soul a little bit. [00:10:06] Speaker A: It would make me feel so much better, but then it would make me feel like you're really, like, what was the point of getting rid of that nice bookcase if it's a $330 bookcase? But I'm just going to let it go for 80, you know? Like, I would have rather held on to the bookcase. [00:10:19] Speaker B: Here's. Here's the thing. Here's the thing, Mordecai. There's going to be more bookcases. [00:10:27] Speaker A: Well, you're Rocky, all right. Oh, Rocky and Mordecai. [00:10:33] Speaker B: Yeah, I didn't know. I didn't know. I was like, nah, he probably doesn't watch that. [00:10:37] Speaker A: I don't know. I. Only because of the beer. I don't know what you're referencing. [00:10:45] Speaker B: Yeah, that's exactly what I referenced tonight when I was like, what is? I was like, Mordecai. And I was like, yeah, Mordecai. And I thought of Rocky. Mordecai. Yeah. [00:10:55] Speaker A: Is that a real thing? [00:10:56] Speaker B: So, yeah, I believe so. It's the Adventure Time or something like that. Not Adventure Time. I don't know, man. It's like some Wrexham park, but cartoon. Yeah, my mom. No rainbow. [00:11:13] Speaker A: I got nothing on that. The fuck? Hey, buddy, switch to decaf, would you? [00:11:27] Speaker B: Because me and my daughters would go around the house saying that on that. On that show, man. I was like, oh, he'll know these sayings if he knows Rocky and Mordecai. You do not. [00:11:37] Speaker A: You know what? From hearing you talk. I'm doubting that these are even the names of the characters. I think. I think you just filled in the gaps there. [00:11:47] Speaker B: All right, so check this out. [00:11:48] Speaker A: Hold on. [00:11:49] Speaker B: First of all, welcome to Pseudonyms. [00:11:52] Speaker A: Hey, why aren't you smoking a cigar? That's what I need to know. And now. [00:11:58] Speaker B: Ah, I. I didn't smoke. I'm not smoking a cigar because I smoked one on my bike. Right. Earlier, I actually forgot. [00:12:13] Speaker A: Do you know. Do you know that reference? [00:12:16] Speaker B: I do know that reference. That's Tom Segura backs. [00:12:20] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:12:23] Speaker B: Yeah. So I was riding my bike and I was smoking a cigar, and bikes are like rollerblades. You enjoy doing it, but you're like, I feel so gay. And I try and do, you know, I mean, like, I'm on a beach cruiser, so it's not like the lowrider bike back in Calvary days. It's like a beach cruiser. I got a cigar holder on it, got a speaker holder. I almost feel like a dad because I got the speaker holder, the drink holder, and the phone holder. You know, it's compact, but I still feel like a dad. Like, there's a lot going on right here. If you look at this, you know, you got three holders. [00:13:03] Speaker A: Yeah. Like one of those old guys with the. The. The three wheeled motorcycles with the cup holders. [00:13:09] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. That's kind of how I feel. And then I'm like, well, part of me is like, yeah, I'm gonna take the bike out. You know what I mean? And so, you know, kind of kind of feel. You know, I often go kind of fast downhills just so I can feel the wind. And I'm like, this is probably. [00:13:24] Speaker A: This is a little less gay. [00:13:27] Speaker B: Probably. This is probably what it feels like on a real motorcycle. You know, I bet they say this. This is a great day for a ride. You know what I mean? [00:13:35] Speaker A: You know? [00:13:36] Speaker B: I don't know. [00:13:36] Speaker A: I bet. I bet if I showed up to one of the rallies, they would welcome me in. [00:13:42] Speaker B: Dude, it's kind of like Kiwi Herman bike, dude. [00:13:44] Speaker A: Actually, dude, I have one. The tires are flat, and I'm probably gonna sell it. But, dude, don't. A little block. It's a. It's a completely blacked out beach cruiser, and I loved it. But where we're moving to, it has so many hills. It's just not practical. Like, I can't do it. [00:14:02] Speaker B: Anyway, here's the thing. You just need a neighborhood, bro. You just need one flat neighborhood. You're not trying to ride anywhere. It's so therapeutic. Like, honestly, I put on my music, I go for a bike ride. [00:14:14] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, I can't. I couldn't ride in my parents neighborhood in it because like, everything is a hill. It's everything. After you leave the driveway, it's downhill or uphill, which means if you go downhill, you. You're coming back up. On the way back, you're walking that back. So, like, you can enjoy it. When you first leave, you gotta take. [00:14:34] Speaker B: A trip out here. I have two bikes. They're the same beach cruiser. It's all flat, bro. Like, I go riding and dude, I'm just like, cool. And all of a sudden I realize I'm really far from the house and I'm okay with it, but it's nice because it's like, dude, it's like, okay, now I'm gonna hit my different playlist and just sing to that on my way back. And honestly, it's just, have a cigar, drink more water. It's great, man. It's great. I think it's very therapeutic. I. I still feel. Yeah, you know what? [00:15:10] Speaker A: Gay about a bike. [00:15:11] Speaker B: You know what the B is in. In lgbtq? I buy bikes, Max. Bikes. It's bikes. I felt it today. I was on that bike. I was like, oh, boy. This doesn't feel like it should. [00:15:42] Speaker A: It doesn't feel like it should. [00:15:45] Speaker B: You know what I mean? You know what I mean? [00:15:51] Speaker A: Exactly. Feeling. That's the exact feeling that I had when I. I went out to dinner one night and I said, you know what? I remember now that I'm old enough to drink. I remember my dad had that really good cocktail that one night at dinner, and he never drank cocktails, so why the. You know, he just. On this Wild Harry got a cocktail one night. I couldn't remember the name, but I looked over the menu. I knew it was this restaurant. It was El Ranchito in Lake Forest. I looked over the menu and I was like, oh, there it is. I recognize the name. And I ordered it. And it came to the table in a very bright glass with a lot of shit hanging out of it. Mermaids and shit. Turns out I ordered a Midori sour, not a whiskey sour, but I drink that shit. I drank that shit because I'm a man of honor. But I knew that what I was doing was wrong. [00:16:51] Speaker B: So, you know the funny thing, you know, funny thing I. I did, I found myself doing the same thing with my dad. Like, he'd always go to restaurants but, like, give me a Mai Tai. And I'm thinking like, cool. You know, like, Mai Tai. Mai Tai is such a chick drink, bro. Like, anything when you're. When you're putting juice in your liquor, you're chicking it up, bro. [00:17:14] Speaker A: Here's the thing. Tiki drinks are a culture. You've got. You've got to get into that culture. [00:17:23] Speaker B: All right? [00:17:24] Speaker A: But there's cool ones. There's like a shark bite. There's the painkiller. I always get the painkiller at this tiki bar Mexican restaurant we have here. [00:17:34] Speaker B: Okay, that's different. That's like going to hash kitchen and getting one of their, like, special drinks. It comes in, like, a novelty glass or whatever or some cool, like, house glass. For. For. [00:17:46] Speaker A: Yeah, if you're ordering a Mai Tai at a Denny's, that's. That's a problem. [00:17:51] Speaker B: That was a lifestyle, for one. [00:17:54] Speaker A: If it's a claim jumper, that's a claim jumper. You're getting a Mai Tai, you're having a problem. [00:17:59] Speaker B: I never understood that. I never understood people that go to, like, the Chili's bars and, like, the bars inside restaurants. It's like you guys come here regular. Like Olive Garden bars have regulars, bro. Olive Garden bars? [00:18:18] Speaker A: Yeah. Okay, so I'm trying to think, because I'm think, okay, so I'm thinking back to Orange county, and there's an Olive Garden in Lake forest. There's a BJ's, and those are big bars. Like, those are bars people hang out at. BJ's makes more sense to me than. [00:18:35] Speaker B: All Garden, but for sure, that's what I'm at. [00:18:39] Speaker A: I'm trying to think, are there any other bars in that area? I can't think of any. [00:18:43] Speaker B: Well, no, there's a lot of smaller bars. Well, no, they had a. [00:18:47] Speaker A: It might be geographical. It might just be like, this is a more comfortable place to drink for us than that dive bar down the street. [00:18:54] Speaker B: You know, I definitely agree with that, but I don't think that's plus endless pasta. I. That's a good point. [00:19:03] Speaker A: The dive bar has a pasta with an end. This one is endless. [00:19:08] Speaker B: Yeah, but here's the thing, man. I get that once in a while, a regular at the bar means you're going there either for a freaking co worker or like a friend of yours that works the bar. Or like. And. Yeah, friend or family. Other than that, like, are you. Unless you're trying to pursue the girl behind the bar. But other than that, it's like, why. Why would you want a bar? But you don't want people just go buy a fucking six pack. You get at home. [00:19:38] Speaker A: Look, we all Know the Chili's bartender is every man's Mrs. Right? But you can't. You can't go there every night. [00:19:49] Speaker B: They are not every man's business. I used to work at Chili's, and I dated. I dated the waitresses. I was like, 17. These were like, married women. And all of a sudden, like, this girl Monica, her husband comes to the front door, and I'm 17. I still live at home, bro. You know, like, and me and Monica are in the room, and my mom's like, hey, Monica, husband's outside. I was like, oh, my gosh, I'm 17. This girl's married. That means her husband is twice my age or, like, older. You know what I mean? I'm. I'm maybe a buck 65. Oh. I'm like, holy. So I weighed him out and, you know, he leaves. [00:20:37] Speaker A: Where did you wait about? Janitor's closet. [00:20:41] Speaker B: My mom opened the door, so they left in his car. So he didn't know what I drove. So he finally left. Oh, my gosh. [00:20:49] Speaker A: I was waiting for you. What's that, like, confirmed? He was waiting for you. Confirmed. [00:20:55] Speaker B: No, I would. I. Like, he thought I left because my mom. [00:21:00] Speaker A: But he was waiting for you until. Until you left, quote, unquote. [00:21:03] Speaker B: Yeah, my mom. Well, my mom just was like, hey. Like, he. They took off in his car, and then he was like, okay. Like. And then he left. And then I was like, you gotta go. So hear me out. I say all that because here. [00:21:16] Speaker A: So he was looking for. He was looking for his bitch too. Yes, he was looking for you, but. Okay, now I get it. Were you banging this bitch or were you just with her? [00:21:25] Speaker B: Yeah, I was in love. Oh. You know, I was 17. I was 17, dude. Jeez. [00:21:31] Speaker A: God, your life rocks. [00:21:33] Speaker B: Well, hold on, man. What is it? What is it? [00:21:37] Speaker A: I just. Remind me to tell a story after this. [00:21:41] Speaker B: I don't think we're getting to the topic tonight. What is it in Canada that people are. When they're Creole? She was Creole, dude. She looked Hispanic. She was short. I mean, it was. It was great. [00:21:52] Speaker A: Isn't Creole like Haiti? [00:21:55] Speaker B: She was. She was so. I don't. Maybe I'm wrong. She was French. And, like, Creole's like. [00:22:01] Speaker A: Like, French, French, African. Yeah. [00:22:03] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:22:03] Speaker A: That's like Haiti, Louisiana. [00:22:06] Speaker B: Yeah, I was right. [00:22:06] Speaker A: Florida, those areas. Yeah. [00:22:09] Speaker B: And so all of a sudden, her and her man get separated. So I'm thinking. I'm thinking, like, oh, my. My boo. You know what I mean? Like, my girl's coming home. You know what I mean? Like, she no man, she ends up with Ernie after that, bro. Ernie, Ernie, Ernie. Ernie, who's made a career out of working at Chili's. [00:22:30] Speaker A: He works at Chili's, too. Holy shit. [00:22:33] Speaker B: But he's the older dude at Chili's, you know, I mean, like, the 30 year old who. You're like, oh, this is what you do. [00:22:39] Speaker A: Oh, no. [00:22:40] Speaker B: Like, this is. This is just who you are. Like, you're going to be a. A server or some sort for the rest of your life. Or for me, it was just a pit stop. [00:22:47] Speaker A: A handful of Vicodin. Ernie would have stepped down. No, Ernie would have stood down. You could have paid him off. [00:22:55] Speaker B: They had a blast. And she was. That's when 17 showed in me because, like, I remember calling her and being like. Like, dude, like, you know, just kind of pissed off and kept calling her phone and kept calling her phone. Like the. Like, instead of just being like, oh, you know what? Like, dude, you don't want me, I don't want you. Then, you know, like, I don't want to be somewhere I'm not wanted. But no, the young kid in me just kept following it up. Following it up. All right, so what. [00:23:20] Speaker A: There was a. There was a claim jumper bartender named Molly that I met one time, and I thought about her every day until I met my wife. She was amazing. [00:23:36] Speaker B: That was. That was. That was well thought out right there. That little statement you made. [00:23:42] Speaker A: Yeah, I've said it millions of times. [00:23:48] Speaker B: I messed up once, never messed up again. All I had to do was add until I met my wife. [00:23:57] Speaker A: Fun fact. The. The night that I met her, I was hanging with. I don't know why. I remember. I rem. Yeah, I remember picked up the tab, and I was like, hey, let me do this. Like, please let me pay this tab because Molly's watching. And he. He didn't get what I was putting down, so he was like, no, no, no. You insult me if you. Like, if you're. Hey, dude. [00:24:26] Speaker B: But she saw the effort. She saw the effort. [00:24:29] Speaker A: I wasn't bringing it up because she was like, right there. But I was, like, trying to tell him, like, please. Please can pay this bill, dude. Like. [00:24:36] Speaker B: But she saw the effort. She was like. When he said, hey, you insult me, you have to stand down. That's like the. That's like the end all card for a man. Hey, don't insult me. Like, for. For. For friends who I've borrowed from and who have borrowed from me where we're like, don't ever hand me cash over the table like you hand it to me under the table, like when we go out and they're like, hurting maybe, and they're like, oh, shoot, hey, I'm gonna buy this girl a drink. Let me borrow 20. And I'm like, okay, you can't hand it over the table. He's like, dude, you know, got to go under the table with it. Same thing, man. Yeah, you put it out there. He said, you insult me. He was like, oh, okay, okay. You pulled that card. [00:25:13] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:25:14] Speaker B: Yeah. Good for you, though. Then you met your wife, then you guys had a kid. [00:25:19] Speaker A: Y. [00:25:20] Speaker B: And now you're trying to peacefully parent. [00:25:22] Speaker A: Yep. I didn't tell my story, though. That's not actually the story I was thinking. No, I said. I said, your life rocks. And that made me gag because I embarrassed myself so badly one time by saying your life rocks at the worst possible moment. [00:25:40] Speaker B: I bet I beat you, but go on. [00:25:43] Speaker A: Okay. I really want to hear yours. And I don't even think we should get to the topic tonight because we have so many good stories. [00:25:50] Speaker B: Okay, story time. [00:25:54] Speaker A: This is a guy we both know, and I have to edit his name out because of this story. This. This would kill me if you ever heard this. Although he probably pieced it all together. His name was okay. And I. I worshiped this guy. He was the coolest fucking guy. Bass player. [00:26:14] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:26:15] Speaker A: Punk rock dude. [00:26:16] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:26:17] Speaker A: Thing that didn't know, for obvious reasons was that I loved his wife. I thought she was just the most smoking bitch in Orange County. And he and I were out to dinner one time. I was 18, maybe 17. I might have been like 17. And we were at Ihop and he was telling me, for some reason, he was telling me like, oh, it's because he got the perfect push up. That, that. That infomercial thing where you like. Yeah. So he got that and he was telling me about it, and he was like, yeah, man, I'll. I'll do it while my wife and I are watching TV on the commercials. I'll get down and do the push ups while the commercials are on. And then I'll sit back down. My arms are all swollen from the. From the push ups. And then she's like, you know, she's really into it because my arms are all swollen. I'm looking good. And I just. Without thinking, I just went, God, your life rocks. And he goes. And he goes, why? And I was like. I was like, oh, I don't know, man. Like, you know, you know, you gotta. You gotta be. Dude, you're in shape. You're. You got a good Family. [00:27:34] Speaker B: You got a great job. I mean, Costco has great, great. [00:27:43] Speaker A: They really care about their employees. [00:27:45] Speaker B: Yeah, Costco has really great benefits. They really care about their employees. [00:27:49] Speaker A: Wasn't he, like, a superintendent or something? He did something in construction. [00:27:54] Speaker B: Yeah, I think he worked for her parents fam. Her parents business. I thought he did, like, construction for their, for their stuff, but I'm not sure. [00:28:03] Speaker A: How about that? A white guy working for the Mexicans. That's, that's something. [00:28:07] Speaker B: I tell you, man, it's not easy. [00:28:12] Speaker A: What was yours? [00:28:14] Speaker B: So I do get complimented on my eyes a lot, right? Yeah. So when I'm in a setting, I'm. [00:28:24] Speaker A: Surprised I haven't brought it up in this phone call. [00:28:29] Speaker B: So in, in, in, in all my settings, I try and connect with my atmosphere. And I don't mean that like an ignorant, like, you know, way of just not knowing culture. Like, I try and connect with someone, and usually the best way to do it is compliment something about them, whether it's the shoes. Like, with, with guys at work, when they walk in front of me, like the client or whatever. Like, I try and make it an easy, light atmosphere. So I will compliment his shoes. I'll be like, oh, damn, dude. Like, like today, those are some of the biggest Jordans I've ever. Biggest jays I've ever seen. And he was like, yeah, I got big feet now, mind you, I could have followed up with. You know what they say about big feet. You got to get big shoes. [00:29:12] Speaker A: You sure could have. [00:29:14] Speaker B: And, but anyhow, so one time I was in this, like, the setting, and I, Dude, I don't know. I get it. I get, I get the whole both sides of it. My side, I'm like, okay. Like, hey, dude, you got nice eyes. And he was like, what the you say to me? [00:29:36] Speaker A: And then all of a sudden, I was riding a bike down a hill. I felt the breeze on my head. [00:29:42] Speaker B: He was like, why do you say that? And I was like, yeah, I guess that sound. I don't know, man. I, I, I'm, I don't know. I got compliments on my eyes a lot. I don't know, man. [00:29:50] Speaker A: I don't know. I, I don't know. I don't know why. Stupid, stupid. [00:30:03] Speaker B: I love that. Not many people get that. Like, I do it. I do that at work, smack my head and say, stupid, stupid, stupid. And like, people don't know if you're tripping or not. Like, people don't necessarily laugh. Like, they should laugh. Like, I just laugh. They don't. [00:30:18] Speaker A: Is that Chris Farley. Like, I know I got that from somewhere, but I don't know where I got it. That's Tommy boy, right? [00:30:25] Speaker B: Chris Farley. [00:30:25] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah, man, that happened today. [00:30:33] Speaker B: Me telling him his shoes was big. Yeah, yeah, he's one of the army. No, the eyes thing. No, that happened like when I was. I was probably like 15, you know what I mean? And it was, it was just lesson learned. That's why I say, miss, lesson learned. I used to. When I was 20, I used to be a bouncer at champs. Like a doorman. And So I check IDs, and this girl came in. I was like, can I see you over here, ma'am? And she was like, oh, she let me have it, dude. She was like, why are you calling me ma'am? I'm like, cuz I don't know your name. I don't. What else do you call a lady, like over here lady? And she was like, no, you call me miss. She's like, ma'am. Makes me feel old, dude. I throw miss out anytime I talk to a female. And you do that shit at like a grocery store where you're like, your teller is like, I don't know, 80, 70. And you're like, oh, thank you, miss. Dude, they are like, it's equivalent to wearing a cowboy hat with cowboy boots and saying, pardon me, darling, you know what I mean? Oh my gosh. [00:31:49] Speaker A: Like, who is this dude? [00:31:52] Speaker B: Old women are like, thank you so much for calling me miss. I'm like, you know, I don't know to call a lady. And I just walk off. You know what I mean? Like, don't bite on it. Don't be like, well, you know, you are young. No, no, no. Know what else? Call lady. Move on. But yeah, they. [00:32:08] Speaker A: It's all, it's all ma'am out here. Nomenclature. [00:32:14] Speaker B: Try it at work. Throw it a miss. Make it sound normal. Don't make it sound goofy. And don't be like, yes, miss. Like, go in there and be like, all right, thank you, miss. Boom. Leave it at that and walk away. Throw on a cowboy hat and some cowboy boots and start calling people darling. You know what I mean? Just throw that out. [00:32:34] Speaker A: Like, it'd be weird if I did that at the place I work every day and they know that I don't wear that. [00:32:41] Speaker B: Yeah, that's what I was thinking is like you would just go in and. And you could kind of do that at your first last day or. First day. Yeah, last day there. [00:32:54] Speaker A: Last day. It's like, hey, this is me now. [00:32:56] Speaker B: Yeah, I've been hiding this from you guys. Watch how many people don't know how to take you. Watch how many people are like, wow, like, this whole time this dude's been a cowboy. If you're like, hey, like, this is normally how I dress outside of work, dude. Dude, how many people would flip their wig? Like, holy shit. Like, I see it with the mustache. I see it. Mordecai is a fucking rancher. Yeah. [00:33:21] Speaker A: I don't think anyone would buy it. I think not only do I dress so poorly at work, but I also am just like, way too open about it. [00:33:31] Speaker B: Where are you going in life, bro? Where are you going? What do you. What do you want to do, man? I feel like you're missing a lot of opportunity. [00:33:38] Speaker A: Yeah, well, the problem with here is that we're not going to live here much longer. So it's just like, I could really play the game and like, really excel in my current job. But, like, I've known since the day I started that job that I was. [00:33:51] Speaker B: What do you, what do you want to be? [00:33:54] Speaker A: Oh, fine. I want to pay my bills. I. [00:33:59] Speaker B: So you just want to. [00:34:00] Speaker A: I would like to. Yeah, I would like to stay in the field that I'm in right now and. Which is tech support, because. Tech support because there's, there's a lot of places to go from there. Systems admins is kind of up there in that world. I'd like to do that only as like a way to pay the bills so that I can write and play music and do the stuff I really want to do. [00:34:27] Speaker B: All right, so why don't you free up your time and. And like, like, we pay the bills, but like, I don't know, man. Like, so that's how I look at work, man. I look at work like me and, me and everybody are equal. I mean that sincerely. Like, me and everyone, we have equal opportunity to, to do the same job. What if they want to get. They need to give someone a raise. They. Someone else has moved up, they're trying to move up someone else. We're all equal. So now what am I doing? I'm selling the image, bro. Like, it's not necessarily that I'm the best looking, it's not necessarily that I'm the most well spoken. But like, if I'm wearing a uniform, I'm wearing the uniform to look decent. And I consider anything I show up to work in a uniform because it's representing my business throughout the day and who I am. And I also feel like when people look at you you and so and so are equal, but you are such a better stage presence for to represent a higher state in the company or a higher position in the company. So I just, like, for me, like, I always, I'm not gonna lie, I judge off people how they dress. I judge them like when they walk in. And it's not so much a negative judgment because I also get personalities like you. Most guys in it, in any company I've worked for are usually the. The most relaxed dressed than anybody else. And they almost like, can be because they're technical support for people who don't know tech technology. You know what I mean? Yeah. So. But again, I think, you know, get used to it because if you try, if you're gonna keep that as your career, bro. And you want to free up your time because the higher you move up, the more free your time is sometimes if you do it right, you know, I mean, like, you put the right people in place underneath you, you. You kind of function right. It'll free up more time for you to write and shit. [00:36:32] Speaker A: Yeah, I think I agree about dressing like for the job you want. That's kind of how I think about it. You can always trace. When I stopped dressing well is when I realized there was no future for me in the company. 100% at BLB, it was straight line dressing really nice every day. And then once I realized, like, oh, shit, there's nowhere to get promoted. There's nowhere, like, I'm not going to ever make a livable wage. Like, okay. And then it just went right down to sweatshirt and pants or. Or jeans every day. And same thing at this place. [00:37:10] Speaker B: Like, yeah, I can relate. I did the same thing when I had my firstborn. I went straight from like, dressing nice to like, now she's just going to throw up on just this is who I am. Jerseys and sweats. [00:37:21] Speaker A: Jersey. Yeah. And then I did. I did dress nicer in this position when I first started. But like, I started this job knowing, like, okay, this time next year I'm probably not going to be in Oklahoma. So, like, there's not much of a future here. But, like, what are you looking at. [00:37:42] Speaker B: Work for in Cal. In California? [00:37:45] Speaker A: I want to do the same thing. I'd like to do like, help desk technician stuff. [00:37:50] Speaker B: Yeah. Are you looking though, already? [00:37:52] Speaker A: Yeah, I've been looking just for an idea of like, average pay. I haven't like, actually put any applications in just because, like, who's gonna hold a job for me for three months while I, Yeah. Go through the moving process? I Was gonna wait until I'm a little close, maybe like three weeks out. [00:38:09] Speaker B: From moving, you know, Honestly, dude, I would give it two months. A lot of the interview processes that I'm going through currently are, they're like three to four weeks, dude. Like, they now want you to talk. They, they talk to you, then someone else is going to talk to you, and then they're kind of explaining. Okay. Like, it's like all these barriers before you talk to the person who makes the decision. Just so they say whether they like you or not. [00:38:39] Speaker A: Yeah, that's true. I mean, it's so rare for me. I, I guess my thing is, like, I've put in a lot of applications and the only ones I hear back on are like, immediate, Like, I've never heard back from an application from four weeks ago. It's like, I'll put in 200 applications and the two that I got calls back on were within that week, you know, so like, I, there's, there's always been more urgency to me when I put in applications, but my shit is entry level. See, your stuff is like a little higher. [00:39:12] Speaker B: Well, let me ask you, that's probably more. Do you have, do you have higher than entry level experience? [00:39:20] Speaker A: Maybe, but if this makes sense, like, I might in practicality, but not in a way that anyone would ever be able to understand. So, like, coming down in Chad GPT. [00:39:35] Speaker B: I'm dead serious, bro. [00:39:37] Speaker A: No, no, no. What I, what I'm, what I'm saying is like, in, in my tier one job, we do a lot more than the normal tier one tech does. Because most tier one is you create a ticket and you assign it to some other team. We do all the troubleshooting and everything before we reassign it to anyone. So we do like a lot of tier 2, tier 3 kind of stuff. [00:40:00] Speaker B: So is that what you're applying for? A higher tier? [00:40:03] Speaker A: No, because no one's going to see a Tier one tech and think, oh, I need him on tier three. You know, they would have my explanation. I, I, I just assume no one is going to consider a tier one tech for Tier two in a company that they don't already work. [00:40:22] Speaker B: I think if you put lead in front of it, they will lead Tier one tech. Oh, yeah. Tier one lead tech. Telling you, man, it's not really a lie. You're still Tier one, but your lead. [00:40:33] Speaker A: Meaning I wasn't a lead, though. [00:40:37] Speaker B: Did you lead your own desk? Did you organize that? Did you? [00:40:41] Speaker A: You know what? I, the bad experience I had was like, I used to do that. I used to kind of fudge the true. I mean, it was like, true, but not technically true on my resume and stuff. And in an interview one time, someone was like, hey, so I see you managed a department here at your previous job. And I was like, yeah, that's, that's right. Like, how many people were in that department? Just like, fuck. And I was like, me? Yes. Literally just me. I was like, but I'm not easy to manage. That's an office joke. I can't take credit for that. [00:41:22] Speaker B: But I love it, man, because that's the title of this, this, this episode. [00:41:27] Speaker A: Easy to Manage. That's. That actually is a perfect title. [00:41:30] Speaker B: Yeah, it is. And so, okay, so let's, let's, let's. In that situation. Why didn't you just say one? [00:41:39] Speaker A: I did. I think I did. And they, like, literally looked at me, was like, okay, yeah, I've seen that trick before. I knew. So that's just to let you know how desperate I was in 2021 for a job because I had been a barber and then had no job since we moved out here. I was applying for a car valet job because the tips were pretty good. And I know the moment in the interview when she gave up on me was when she was looking at my work history and she's like, hold up. [00:42:13] Speaker B: Hold up, hold up. Can I guess it? Can I guess it? [00:42:15] Speaker A: Yeah, sure, go ahead. And it wasn't. It wasn't department of one. That wasn't the moment. [00:42:21] Speaker B: Who's this gentleman behind you? [00:42:26] Speaker A: Hello. [00:42:26] Speaker B: Here's a little pan pan situation. All right. Did you fart? He's like, no, no. [00:42:34] Speaker A: The moment she looked at my job history and she said, so you've never really done anything like this and, like, physically. She means physically. Like, you've never, like, had to run from a car back to a podium to, like, I had to drive to. [00:42:53] Speaker B: And from work every day. Okay, I could drive a car. [00:42:59] Speaker A: It's like, no matter how much you mansplain and, like, try to dumb it down for a ditzy broad. 10 hours on your feet. 10 hours on your feet. Barbering is very labor intensive. It's battle back. It's. It's hard. But she just doesn't. She didn't get it for sure. She didn't. Like, this is going to be less hard on my body than barbering for 10 hours a day, for sure. [00:43:22] Speaker B: What if she looked at you and was like, you've. You've never ran before, have you? [00:43:29] Speaker A: I wasn't at my lightest. I'LL tell you that. [00:43:32] Speaker B: All right, so. So check this out, man. Oh, man. Yeah. Yeah, it is hard on you, I'm not gonna lie. Like, standing around on the job site, I'd rather get in the trenches and help people, then stand around and walk like it is like you, you're constantly. That little arch in your back just starts to settle in, you know, the feet. [00:43:53] Speaker A: It's the feet, dude. [00:43:54] Speaker B: Feet are kill. [00:43:56] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. And then you're like, you're bending over, you're. You're checking stuff. It's just, it was very. It was bad on my back. I'm glad I don't do it anymore. Although I could probably make twice what I make right now. [00:44:08] Speaker B: Dude, let me ask you, man. Like, what if you were just the fucking sitting barber, bro? I don't think you get yourself like a little cart, you know, like the, the carts they work on cars and shit with. You know what I mean? Little tray underneath you. He sits on the, on a, like, not beanbag, but like a comfortable place below you, floor wise, you know? I mean, you just zoom around. It's. You know what I mean? Tilt up, you know what I mean? You just, you're just skating around. I'm telling you, man. [00:44:43] Speaker A: And then I get the reputation as the handicapped barber because no one knows why. [00:44:48] Speaker B: Yeah, dude, for real. [00:44:49] Speaker A: Hey, have you seen, have you seen that barber? He's great. [00:44:53] Speaker B: No, it comes with, it comes with a, like mysterious, like why they call them handicapped homes, you know? Like, I don't know, man, but I think he left. [00:45:02] Speaker A: Dude, if I, if I, if I went viral, it would literally be. The Google results would be. Is he. [00:45:12] Speaker B: First of all, I love that you said your name. Secondly. [00:45:16] Speaker A: Oh, shit. [00:45:17] Speaker B: I love the fact that you think they're going to know your name. Like. [00:45:24] Speaker A: Is the retarded barber really? [00:45:28] Speaker B: Yes. [00:45:29] Speaker A: Yeah, that's how much I'm not on a podcast. That's how much I'm just chatting with, with Mordecai. Dude, I'm just having a good time. I just say my full name, so. [00:45:41] Speaker B: Yeah, I think you should do it though, man. Can you cut hair? So like, if you live closer to me. Yeah, could you like fix me? [00:45:48] Speaker A: I haven't done a haircut in four years now. [00:45:51] Speaker B: But you could do. Isn't it like riding? [00:45:53] Speaker A: I could shave your head. [00:45:55] Speaker B: No, bro. I want my, my, my goatee fixed though. Come on. [00:45:59] Speaker A: I could probably handle that. [00:46:01] Speaker B: Yeah, I thought you could. [00:46:02] Speaker A: I wouldn't take a risk on you. [00:46:05] Speaker B: You wouldn't? [00:46:07] Speaker A: No. What if I. You up? Why the the risk reward to up your goatee is not there for me, dude. [00:46:22] Speaker B: Okay, all right. [00:46:24] Speaker A: You wouldn't let it go. I know you wouldn't let it go. [00:46:31] Speaker B: No, I probably wouldn't, man. I probably wouldn't. In fact, I'm not gonna lie. I was talking about. I was talking about your wife the other night. The other day at work. I was. Somebody said something. I said, you know, my friend has a wife. She doesn't work because he provides for her. She used to be a barista. I was like, when the baby. [00:46:52] Speaker A: She's also a college professor, but also a barista. [00:46:57] Speaker B: No, no, no. The point I'm making is I was like, dude, and I didn't let it go. I said, you know, when the baby cries at night, he's the one that has to get up. They're like, are you serious? I was like, yeah, he got to get up and you got to go to work. And being a barista, she never. She doesn't even make him coffee. Doesn't even make coffee. I was like, can you imagine what he's going through? You know what I mean? [00:47:22] Speaker A: It's like. It's like you're telling a parable, dude. [00:47:27] Speaker B: I was. We were talking about, like, what men go through. I was like, imagine what he goes through, dude. [00:47:31] Speaker A: Oh, now I. I never got up in the middle of the night. That's part of the reason why I would get up in the morning was because I slept through everything in the night and I felt kind of bad. But she's been sleeping in past seven, and I go to work at 6:30, so I haven't had to wake up with her in weeks at this point. [00:47:56] Speaker B: Yeah, but, dude, honestly, honestly, Nick, if I was your wife, dog, I'd be up at 6:00 just. Just to make your coffee. I'm going right back to bed. But you're gonna have a pot of coffee, whether it's a Keurig cup, ready to go, to go, mug, whatever. I just feel like. I personally feel like if I'm living for free under someone else's care, like, I'd be like, hey, I want to show my appreciation. You get up for. For. For the whole damn day. At this point, I just gotta get. Make your coffee so that you can know I love you. And I'm going right back to bed. [00:48:30] Speaker A: Oh, I see where the confusion is. She doesn't appreciate me. [00:48:34] Speaker B: That's. [00:48:35] Speaker A: That's where you got off track. [00:48:38] Speaker B: I love it. [00:48:39] Speaker A: No appreciation whatsoever. [00:48:41] Speaker B: Oh, I see the confusion. [00:48:43] Speaker A: She's. She's really Doing? She's really doing me the favor if you think about it. It's like she's hobolting. [00:48:52] Speaker B: Oh, how. So how do you like the new schedule? [00:48:58] Speaker A: I still hate it. I can't get to sleep. I can get six hours pretty easily, but I can't get seven. I just, I, I have to be asleep by like 10:30 or 11 to, to get that. And just every single night I'm like, All right, it's 8:30, getting ready for bed. What? You know, I'm going to do X, Y and Z. Get right in bed and then. Oh fuck, it's 12:05. How, how did this happen? Like, what have I been doing? [00:49:27] Speaker B: You feel awake, huh? Like you don't, like you feel like you've been thinking that whole time, huh? [00:49:32] Speaker A: Yeah, I can easily go 20 hours without sleep, but once I'm asleep, if I had no alarm, I would easily sleep 12 to 14. [00:49:43] Speaker B: Yeah, I think I'm similar on, on like it, yeah. A day like that I think I'm very similar. But like I feel you in the sense that like there are nights where I'll lay down and I'm like, okay. And I'll be so engulfed in my life mentally that one. I, I'm cautious of what my thoughts are. And yeah, I look at the clock and it's 1205 and I'm like, this is crazy because I've been so in my head and I'm so cautious of my thoughts. I know I haven't slept. [00:50:17] Speaker A: Yeah. But I'm not even in bed yet. I'm like, at 8:30 I'm like, okay, I'm gonna do my push ups, I'm gonna take a shower, read my Bible, go to bed. And then all of a sudden it's 12 o'clock. It's like, I didn't do any of that. What the fuck was I doing? Oh yeah, I was like picking zits on my arm or something. Like I just wasn't thinking. [00:50:34] Speaker B: The small ones in the back? [00:50:36] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, I love them. Oh dude, I was listening to a podcast and then I started scrolling Instagram and then I just like went to sleep awake in the library for three hours. Like that's all that happened. [00:50:49] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. You gotta settle yourself, dude. You gotta lay down. Don't go on your phone, don't go social media because that just. [00:50:56] Speaker A: I gotta get the red glasses. I gotta get those red glasses that filter out all of the, the light so that you're like ready for sleep when you go to sleep. I heard Andrew Huberman Talking about it. [00:51:09] Speaker B: So, like. Like at 8:30, you just go get your glasses on. [00:51:15] Speaker A: At sundown, you put these red glasses on because, like, the light in this room, the computer light, all these lights are signaling to my brain that it's daytime and I need to be up and moving and working. But if I filter it all out with red light, then it's like it's been dark for four hours. [00:51:32] Speaker B: Finish our date in the dark. [00:51:35] Speaker A: No, I guess it's. It's an audio podcast. I guess we could, but. [00:51:41] Speaker B: So you're gonna be that dude. Like, you're that dude. Like, if I come over for dinner with. With, like, with my partner and we're having, like, dinner at your house and the kids are running around and stuff, you're the guy that's gonna answer the door in the little circle. [00:51:54] Speaker A: Red glasses, not little circles. No, they're gonna be big honkin Wayfarers. But yeah. Yeah, I'll have those on. [00:52:02] Speaker B: Are those like the Asian ones? [00:52:04] Speaker A: No, like the big Ray Bans. Like the thick square ones. I like those. Yeah, I like that. [00:52:09] Speaker B: Like what Asians wear. [00:52:11] Speaker A: Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right. You're right. [00:52:14] Speaker B: Am I right? Like the surgery glasses ones where they got the guards on the side. [00:52:18] Speaker A: No, I can't do that. Oakley. [00:52:22] Speaker B: Yours are going to be. Oh, you're going to. You're going to be that dude. You're going to open the door. [00:52:26] Speaker A: I haven't purchased these. I haven't purchased these. This is not a done deal. I don't know why you're getting so upset about it. [00:52:32] Speaker B: I think you should do it. Do it and wear them next week. Do it and wear them next week. [00:52:39] Speaker A: If I get them. If I get them, I will be wearing them on the podcast going forward because I found. Well, here's the thing. I found some on Amazon for like 30 bucks. And I was like, that seems cheap. That seems like it's not going to really be what it's advertised. [00:52:56] Speaker B: So why don't you read the reviews? [00:52:58] Speaker A: Yeah, and they were really good reviews. That's why I almost got them. But also, I can't justify a $30 purchase. But the ones that they advertise on podcasts where they talk about all the science behind the lights and stuff, those are like 170. And I was like, okay, well, they must have something in Those. At the $30 was. There's no way. There's just a generic version for this thing. [00:53:26] Speaker B: Very similar. I'd like. The higher the price, the better the quality. That's exactly. [00:53:30] Speaker A: I Mean, well, most of the time, you know, you buy a $15 pair of sunglasses, it turns out there's no UV protection in those. So you're just frying your eyeballs out in the sun because you're blocked. Like, the light is blocked, but not the UV rays. So you feel protected and you're just, like, rotting your eyeballs balls out. So it's like, there is something. There is something you got to pay attention to. What? What's. Yeah, the product is. Yeah. Sir, are you thinking about your $15 sunglasses for a minute? [00:54:04] Speaker B: I was. [00:54:05] Speaker A: I was like, that was a long bike ride today, man. [00:54:09] Speaker B: This whole time I'm buying these. These gas station sunglasses. Okay, all right. Well, I got past that. Yeah. Did you have any thoughts on peaceful parenting? Like, let's just let it not. [00:54:28] Speaker A: I did. [00:54:28] Speaker B: Not that we have to dip into that, but, like, give me some more. Because, honestly, I kept forgetting all week what the topic was. I had to refer back to this. But, like, no, I have. I definitely already have notes, but I don't want to cover it tonight. All I'm saying is give me a little taste so I can come back with something better next. Next week as well. [00:54:49] Speaker A: Okay. I've thought a little bit about where to get started, and I don't know where to get started without just jumping into a whole thing because there's just so much. Every word you're gonna use is just packed with baggage when it comes. [00:55:07] Speaker B: So I think. So I just looked at the time. I actually think we can do it. [00:55:10] Speaker A: Like, I actually thought we might be able to. I just don't know how much we're gonna disagree, if at all. So, like, we might not disagree about anything. In which case we could probably wrap this up in 10 minutes. But if we disagree, this could be. This could be a. This could be a two hour podcast. So I don't know, but. [00:55:29] Speaker B: All right, I'm down. [00:55:30] Speaker A: I was first introduced to the philosophy of peaceful parenting through the libertarian world. [00:55:38] Speaker B: What is a libertarian? [00:55:41] Speaker A: Like, don't hurt people. Don't take their stuff. Okay. Yeah, basically, like, not a Democrat or a Republican. Like an anti government kind of freedom, you know? [00:55:54] Speaker B: Okay. [00:55:54] Speaker A: Peaceful, like pro capitalism. Like, peaceful person. And I always thought, like, I heard the word and didn't really know what it was. And I was like, that sounds really gay. I was like, why would you, Like. Okay, I kind of get, like, not spanking your kid, but, like, isn't that how you create a serial killer? Like, if you don't discipline your kid? Right. So finally I came Across a video on YouTube where Stefan Molyneux explaining peaceful parenting. And I was like, okay, I like Stefan Molyneux. If anyone's gonna have like a good point on this, it'll be this guy. Let me, let me see what this guy has to say. And I was pretty blown away how, like, immediately he was just knocking down every argument that I had for, like, spanking and yelling and all the, you know, things that I always thought I would do as a parent. So you were probably looking forward to it. [00:56:49] Speaker B: Kind of like you. [00:56:51] Speaker A: Yeah, here's the thing. I was, I was not spanked. So, like, I really. For years. [00:56:57] Speaker B: No, I see it. Yes. For sure. [00:56:59] Speaker A: This, this is a person who should have been spanked. And I'm not gonna my kid up the way that my parents did. Like, I'm gonna discipline my kid and they're gonna be much better behaved than I was as, as a kid. And so it kind of started with the libertarian philosophy of like, don't aggress against people. Like, don't use violence, whether that be physical violence or taxation or stealing or any of the things, you know, so it is kind of all connected in one philosophy. So then I was thinking, like, okay, well, they're like, we have a job as parents to discipline and raise up the adult that this person is going to be. You know, so, like, we definitely have rights over, like, Stefan Molyneux really gets in the weeds of like, a government does not have some inherent right over you to put you in a cage or to tax you or to anything. And then he takes that and he goes, neither does a parent have that inherent right over a child. And I'm like, hold on now. Like, I think, I think like, an argument could definitely be made even in the anarchist worldview. An argument could definitely be made that parents have these rights over their children for the purpose of raising them up. And then way past Stefan Molyneux thing, then I really got cooking with like a biblical worldview and started convincing myself of the philosophy even more. And see how I'm kind of jumping all over the place. I haven't get it. [00:58:37] Speaker B: But like, so if you're, if your kid disrespects in a biblical worldview, if we're talking old biblical worldview, you're welcome to stone them according to tradition. Yeah, okay. [00:58:48] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. In Israeli law. Yeah. So essentially, you know, I haven't really defined it yet. It is essentially a non violent approach to parenting where you do not yell at your kid or spank them or hit them or harm them. In any way. And so on the face it's like, okay, well, I'm already coming up with reasons why that's stupid. And literally I thought in my head I was like, so literally, if the kid is reaching for a stove, you're not going to do anything you can to like, let them know that's not okay? You're not going to like, say, hey, don't reach for that or I'll spank you. And then they still reach for it and you're not gonna spank, you know? You know what I mean? Like, I was already thinking about that and then he said it. He literally said it. He's like, yeah, the example I always hear is like, what if they're reaching for a hot stove? And he's like, yeah, well, it's your job as a parent to create a safe environment for your kids where they're not anywhere near a hot stove. And I'm like, ah, all right, you kind of got a point there. And like, he just kept going and going. So I thought about like the prison system and I was like, okay, well, like we have a system where like, people are put essentially in captivity or on a timeout or however you want to, you know, they are physically harmed for the crimes that they commit against society. And, and then I realized, well, okay, like, I don't philosophically believe in prison. That's like, I think by, by a biblical standard, you can pay for your crimes with the death penalty or you can pay back what you've stolen double. But there is no prison. In the Bible, like in Israel, in, in the, in God's law, there, there was no, like, you get six months for not paying a tax or something. You know, it was like it was all either theft that you pay back double or you rape or murder and you die for that. So it's like so philosophically, I don't know where I'm getting this idea of a 20 minute timeout, you know, like, like it. Does it not make more sense to coach the child and explain to them, like, why they don't do a certain thing? You know, like, where am I getting this idea that hitting them is going to teach them something instead of just make them hate me? And, and then I started looking into like, yelling because of the stress response in the kid and like the fight or flight reaction that it, it brings about? In the central nervous system, yelling is basically the same as hitting. Like, psychologically, they, they've done studies now and have determined essentially that like, it creates the same amount of stress in a kid, if you spank them or if you yell at them. So essentially you can be completely violence free and not lay a hand on your kid. And if you're yelling at them, you're doing all the same damage. Apparently, according, according to them. I don't know, you know how, you know, I guess it's cortisol levels that, that are measured. So I kind of like every excuse I had for any of these traditional views just started to kind of fall apart. And I like, didn't have like, where am I? So then ultimately I'm like, okay, well as a parent, we're supposed to point them to the gospel. We're supposed to like model God in a way. You know, I don't know if I'm using like precise enough language for that, but it's like, okay, so how would I do that as a parent? And it's like, well like, we're saved. So like, yeah, we're gonna up pretty bad and God's never gonna proverbially spank us. You know what I mean? Like, like we're, we're saved. [01:02:37] Speaker B: I'm glad you took that route other than like today I'm Old Testament Testament God and they're in your camps and. [01:02:45] Speaker A: You'Re gonna sit on these nails. Yeah. So like, yeah, so how would I point my kids to Christ, especially in their disobedience as a parent? And it's like, well, that looks a lot more like explaining to them as clearly as you can and finding a way that makes sense to them of like, here, this is why you never ever hit your sibling. You never ever do that. Like hitting them because they hit their sibling doesn't teach them shit. It just, yeah, yeah, it's just, it's just stressful. It's just scary. And worst of all, and this is where like I really think it's opposed to the gospel worldview is that it teaches them to obey out of fear. And so it's like, okay, so I'm modeling God and I've taught you to obey me out of fear. Fear. Like that doesn't make any sense. You know, like if I am trying to teach you the gospel worldview and to do that in everything I do as a parent, then like that should not be the result. So I'm missing something between point A and point B. If you're, you're only obeying when I'm around or when you know you're with someone who's going to tell me everything, you know, so like, yeah, that's kind of so I kind of just went level by level and like, eventually got to the end of it and was like, yeah, I don't think there's any reason to hit or yell at your kid. I think there is a better way. [01:04:10] Speaker B: I would agree. So. However, this was a joke, simply a joke. Please take it as a joke. When people would ask how mean come so far and how there was abuse in our marriage, I used to tell the husbands when we were alone, I'd say, hey, look, you just got to hit them once. After that, they know what you got, but make it a good one. [01:04:37] Speaker A: I'm, I'm glad you said that. First of all, it's hilarious. Second of all, that reminds me of another point that I was thinking when I was walking on my break today and talking to myself like a madman. I was like, okay, well, I would hit a kid for their own good. Like, I would, I would spank a kid to show them the severity of their disobedience and how, like, if they disobey me, like, they could end up dead for all I know. Like, where does this, where does this road end? And then I was like, okay, so you'd hit your wife then, right? If you're, if your wife did something that bad, like, wouldn't you hit her? It was like, yeah, maybe some guys would, I don't know. [01:05:17] Speaker B: But like, but like the N word. [01:05:20] Speaker A: I, I would high fiverr if she did that. [01:05:23] Speaker B: I would. [01:05:24] Speaker A: But, But I had to think and I was like, yeah, I mean, maybe there is. There's certainly something on God's green earth that would get me to hit her for some reason. But like, nothing in reality she could ever do, like in disobedience to me that would make me lay a hand on her. Yet normally I wouldn't think twice about turning to my 4 year old and spanking them, because that's what you do to a four year old. And then it's like, well, why, why is this class of person, like, you can't hit retards. Why can you hit a three year old? [01:05:54] Speaker B: You don't spank your wife at all? [01:05:57] Speaker A: No. Not even in a fun way. [01:06:01] Speaker B: All right, so I tend to agree with you on this. I didn't hit my older two kids often. And when I did, it was either like a smack on the hand for them, hitting like another child first, but never hard. It didn't have to be hard. Yeah, or like, if they talk back to their mom and I was in range, like, I'm gonna just reflectively hit you in your mouth. Again, not hard, just a little tapity tap, let you know I'm here. And I mean, like, that's how fast your life could have been taken from you. You know what I mean? Like, you know, like, you didn't expect that, did you? You know? [01:06:39] Speaker A: Oh. Oh, so quick. [01:06:45] Speaker B: But I think, like, for me, I. I face them to the wall a lot because I remember as a kid, I'd rather take a whooping than lose my free time. Like, okay, don't ground me. Don't face me to the wall. Like, dude, just spank me and let's get on. Like. So I get back to, like, playing. And so, like, when growing up, if they disrespected us in public, they would face the wall in public at a restaurant. And they would beg. They would beg. And it only took maybe three or four times where I would just let them know, like, no, you've embarrassed me. This is your consequence. Because they'd say, like, I'm embarrassed. I'm like, how do you think I feel when you're sitting here embarrassing me? I've asked you to stop doing that. Like, and so now you're gonna face the wall. [01:07:32] Speaker A: That's an Interesting point. 1. One thing I found a lot researching it was to make. Because it's not consequence or discipline free. It's like violent punishment free. [01:07:43] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:07:44] Speaker A: Usually they. Usually they throw timeouts in there, which I still can't really wrap my mind around, but. But what they say is they connect the consequence to the disobedience. [01:07:56] Speaker B: So this is why I think timeout. Timeout is good. [01:07:58] Speaker A: Okay? [01:07:59] Speaker B: I think timeout is good because it's time you have time to reflect. And sometimes it's the embarrassment. Like when you're facing the wall in a restaurant, sometimes it's you at home just while your dad's watching tv. Now you're facing the wall, you know, around the corner, because you got in trouble. It's time to actually think, this sucks. There's a consequence. Maybe I won't do it again. But I think it also needs what you said earlier explanation. So when my girls do something, I. I use the milk reference. When. Spilled milk. Like, when my older girls cut that out. When my older girls did spilled milk, I was a little more immature. And, yeah, I would get upset because it's like, what do you. What are you thinking, dude? Like, dude, now I got, you know, it was a big deal to go clean it up with. She'll say, she'll do it again with number four. She'll say, she. She spilled milk. And my response is, well, you know what we do with spilled milk? We just clean it up. [01:09:08] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:09:09] Speaker B: Like, to look at it, like, instead of responding, like, yes, it's an inconvenience. However, it already happened. One, two. You're gonna clean it up anyways. Why. Why ruin the night over. Wasn't intentional. You know, I mean, like, it wasn't like she just walked in the kitchen and just pulled out the gallon of milk. I was like, this shit's rotten, and just started pouring it out, so. [01:09:31] Speaker A: Yes, exactly. So, like, specifically with a mess, they have to clean it up. And that's, like, not really a punishment. It's just what we do. It's just a natural consequence of what happened. It's not like you did it maliciously, but. Shit, I kind of forgot what I was gonna say. I had a really good point. [01:09:48] Speaker B: That is the consequence, though, in that situation. [01:09:51] Speaker A: Okay. So the consequence is always connected to what happened. So it is. And that. I think that's where they get, like, the timeout thing is not, like, in the peaceful parenting was. [01:10:03] Speaker B: Well, timeout in general is lazy parenting. [01:10:08] Speaker A: So. Okay. So what's the difference if you're not. [01:10:09] Speaker B: Following it up with a teaching moment. [01:10:12] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:10:12] Speaker B: And you're just wanting. [01:10:13] Speaker A: Okay. [01:10:14] Speaker B: Your kid away from you. That's a lazy. Like, the idea behind parenting one is that mindset. You got to have the mindset. This is what I'm doing. And to, like, so many parents want to escape their children. They want to go on trips without their kids. They want to do. I want to take trips with my kids. They're, like, my favorite people in the world. But parenting. So, one, you have to Mindset two, you have to have principles. Like, something you're instilling in them. Like, what you're doing with your little one. You're like, hey, you're giving her principles to build her adulthood on. You know what I mean? Like, do you ever see those country dudes that just love America? Like, they fucking love America. I. I wish I was that guy. I'm not that guy. Like, I love America, but, like, I'm not gonna be putting no big old flag on my tailgate just riding around town with it. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not wearing. You know what I mean? Like, I'm just like, I'm not going to the country concerts. Like, there's that extra breed of, like, we're like, America. [01:11:19] Speaker A: There's an ideology that they are raising their kids in. [01:11:23] Speaker B: Yes. [01:11:23] Speaker A: Is what you're saying. [01:11:24] Speaker B: And it's the same thing. I mean, I, I see them and I'm like, man, I wish I had that. That doesn't mean my kids can't have it. A pride for their country or a love for their country that I necessarily didn't get raised in. My kids can have things that my parents didn't give to me because I know they're. There is a deficiency on my parents end. I think with you, I don't think you need spanked. I think you need a discipline. I think you needed consequences and discipline. Your, your, your parents are a lot like my mom. Like, they're gonna, they're gonna love you good. You know what I mean? Like, they're not gonna discipline you, like to where you want to turn out. Good. They're gonna love you good. Like they genuinely love you. And they're like, I don't want it. Like, that's my kid. I don't want to punish them. [01:12:10] Speaker A: Like, yeah, but I, I think it's a way. But like, I never felt, and don't take this the wrong way, I never felt an intimacy with my parents that make sense. I never felt, I never felt like I got below like the surface level with them and like really learned like how they thought about things or like what, you know, like I was, my mom was a Republican and that's just what we are, you know, like, I knew, I knew my dad wasn't, but like, I couldn't really get to the heart of like what the disagreement was and like, what, like, well, what is Republican? What is Democrat? You know? You know what I mean? It was just, it is, that's just what it is. Okay, like, we're not talking about it anymore, you know, and like, very loving, very, very loving to me, very supportive to me. But like, I think it is a better love to really like come alongside your kid and explain, like, no, no, this is why we'd never ever talk to someone like that. This is why, you know, and explaining things like that, and especially maybe having to do it seven times until you find a way that makes sense to them that is going to go a lot farther than any kind of spanking or anything because it just doesn't register to them, you know, and also like proactive, like that's, I think a really good point is proactive parenting. Like in the example of like keeping them out of the kitchen when the hot stove is on. Maybe not that. [01:13:37] Speaker B: Okay, so you brought that up earlier. No, but that's a good example. I was at Rock's house and we were there for a Bible Study. And our kids were playing downstairs, and my girls kept, like, taking some of their nicer things off the shelves, like, to look at, but they were expensive items. And Rock pulled me aside, and he said, hey, man, like, your daughters keep. And I was, you know, keep pulling stuff off shelves. And I was like, oh, well, at our house, it's, like, childproof. Like, we put everything up high. And he goes, but you're not always at your house, so it's like, you should probably teach your kids to not, you know, grab people's stuff versus, like, expecting all your hosts to tailor to your. Your needs. [01:14:20] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. And. Yeah. Yeah. So, like, being, you know. But then there's just, like, so much of this doesn't apply to, like, a kid my daughter's age who just doesn't have the capacity to understand any of this. Like, I don't know when that starts. Like, when you can really. [01:14:41] Speaker B: It starts when they are. When they are tall enough to reach that stove. Like, honestly, like, your. Your daughter should have no need of touching a stove. Like, it's that tall. [01:14:51] Speaker A: She can. She can reach the stove already. [01:14:53] Speaker B: Can she really? [01:14:54] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. She's in the hundredth percentile, legitimately. Yeah, she's. [01:15:02] Speaker B: She's like, I know you just. You just threw that out there. You. But the way you threw that. Yeah, she's in the hundred percentile, so. [01:15:09] Speaker A: Hey, hey, man, I'm not saying it's necessarily a good thing. I'd rather have clothes that fit. I don't. I don't know if I'm bragging here. No. But, like. [01:15:22] Speaker B: But I also think it goes back to, like, the parenting. Like, I do the parenting coach, friend thing. There's a certain age where they're going to rebel against you. And if you haven't invested your first 10 to 13 years into your child in a proper way, then you're not going to really be coaching at an adult, like, at the teenage level, you know, like, there's not going to be a relationship for that. [01:15:46] Speaker A: Yeah. And, like, establishing early on that, like, we fix problems, we don't just have violent consequences unrelated to the problem you caused. You know, like, fixing problems establishes that, like, oh, I don't need to be afraid of telling this person what went wrong. They're gonna help me fix the problem. They're not gonna just take the car away. They're not gonna just hit me or lock me up in my room. Like, they're gonna help me fix the problem, you know? [01:16:15] Speaker B: Well, dude, kids do what they're taught. I mean, we do Pick up things along the way as, as you have. Like, you were taught a certain way, but then when you got your own kid, you were like, okay, there were, there were things that vividly I remember desiring or wanting or thinking about, and I want to provide that so we get to add to it, which is awesome. But at the same time, like, the core of the child is what was taught inside the house. You know, I mean, like, that's, that's their, that's their. They're going to justify stealing. If, if they were raised around people stealing, you know what I mean? That can justify it. They're. Until they actually come to a true conviction of it, they. They could. They'll do it and justify it because they don't know any better until they know better. [01:16:56] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. Like, they kind of say that if no one in your family is divorced, your odds of getting divorced are like, way lower. But then in a family where there's been a divorce, your odds start to go up because it's kind of been destigmatized, you know? And so like, my daughter's gonna grow up in a home where lying is just simply not something we do. But my dad, every single time he had a day off, he instructed us not to tell my cousin that he had a day off. It's like, first of all, haven't talked to the bitch in months. I don't know what you think the odds are that I'm going to tell her, that I'm going to be talking to her and I'm going to tell her something. But like, he was so, like, they lived such a life of lies to the family and to everyone that it was just like you were daily instructed on like, what you were and were not allowed to tell people. You know what I mean? Like, my grandma never knew that my mom ran a pet sitting business. She never knew that they owned rental properties. She, like, there were huge parts of their life that she never knew about because they just didn't want to. The inconvenience of explaining things to her. And so what was modeled for me was like, getting like, going along, taking the easy way and just like keeping things from people or lying or whatever. And like, I've had to work very hard to live a life without those kinds of lies where I have to really think about, like, am I embellishing this story? Like, did that. That really happened? Like, I got to, I got to really think about this one. And it's like, you know what? I think I just told a lie. I don't I don't think it happened that way. I think. I think it was this, you know, Like, I have to. Like, I've had to practice it to. To make that not a part of my life. So, like, she is going to grow up in a home where we just simply don't lie. So, like, I'm thinking it's going to be a much bigger stigma to her than it would have been to either of her parents. But I don't know. [01:19:02] Speaker B: Yeah, I think it'd be cool. I mean, honestly, that's. That's. The conversation I had with number four the other day was, so I get a call from the exes. Hey, I just got a call from the principal. Number four, like, poked or stabbed someone with a pencil and had to eat lunch with the. The principal. And so I'm like, okay. So I pick her. It was my. My. My day. So I pick her up, and I'm like, hey, how was your day? She's like, it was good, you know, did this, did that, did that. And I was like, anything happening today? She's like, anything out of the normal sheik? No, not really. No. I was like, nothing at all. She know why? Like, did somebody call you or something? And I was like. [01:19:49] Speaker A: Did someone say something fucked up to you? Dude, what happened, dude? [01:19:55] Speaker B: So I'm like, mind you, all we have is our honesty together, so. Well, actually, I said, my. What do we have? What's the only thing we have? She's like, honesty. I said, exactly. Did. Did something happen today at school? And she was like, yeah, I poked this kid because I thought it would be funny. And I was like, did he laugh? She was like, no. I was like, usually if you have to explain the joke, it's not a joke. And so she was like, well, I thought it was funny. And I was like, I get it. And I was like, was it hard? She goes, I didn't think it was hard, but it could have been hard to him. So, yeah, I'm like, okay, you did. [01:20:35] Speaker A: Probably empathy. There's empathy there. [01:20:41] Speaker B: Empathy. But it's also explaining the fact in my mind how I heard it was true. I poked myself, but I poked him harder. You know what I mean? [01:20:50] Speaker A: Like, that's. [01:20:50] Speaker B: That's. [01:20:53] Speaker A: Well, I'm also hearing a little bit of like, I mean, it wasn't hard. He was kind of being a crybaby bitch. But it's like, yeah, I mean, maybe if you're a crybaby bitch, it was kind of hard. [01:21:07] Speaker B: That was about the second thought that went through. I was like, maybe he's just a chick, you know, like, like a little, little feminine guy. But yeah, but back to the honesty thing. Like, like, honest. Like, when I said that, she was like, all right, here it is. Like, you're right. I don't want to, like, I want to have your trust always. So here it is. Yeah, I poked a kid, but she came out with it. I didn't have to, like, tell her I heard it. It was just funny because she was like, hey, did, like, the principal call you or something? Or, like, the sub or something? I was like, no, I didn't tell her. Mom called me. But no, none of them called. I just. I know I have people. I have people places. [01:21:44] Speaker A: I got the elves working for me. [01:21:47] Speaker B: Yeah. You don't know. [01:21:48] Speaker A: Okay, so let me ask you this. So you mentioned. So I see I'm kind of coming up with arguments as I'm formulating the question, because I can argue both sides, so. Well, I. You mentioned, like, giving them a little smack on the mouth or on the hand or something. So, like, that makes sense to us because we're raising the adult that they're gonna one day be. So, like, as an adult, they should not ideally be doing these things that we're disciplining. Correct. That's the whole point. [01:22:22] Speaker B: Can I say something? [01:22:23] Speaker A: Yeah, of course. [01:22:23] Speaker B: I, I, I only did that with the other two. I've never done that with, with number four. [01:22:28] Speaker A: Oh, okay. [01:22:29] Speaker B: And I get a better, I get a better response. I get a better reaction. [01:22:32] Speaker A: Okay. Okay. Well, what I was gonna. I was. Okay, so then that kind of. Yeah, that, that kind of makes the question moot. But hypothetically, if you still were doing that, that still was your thing, and you were gonna stand by that. All I think is like. Because, like, I could see myself doing that. How up would it be if her husband did that to her in front of me? I would never say. Like, I would freak out. I would, I would. [01:23:01] Speaker B: Here's the thing, dude. I mean, this is something you have to look at. Like, I think it's, I think it breeds. And I think it stems from emotional immaturity. The fact that you're first responsing that way. Yeah. Is to put hands on it. These are all the Karens that you're seeing right now, like, being lit up on, on social media is the, like, those people, that something happens, they're an adult, and their first response to end this is to put hands on you. You know? And some of these people, you look at them, you're like, oh, that woman had to be provoked because she doesn't look violent. But she wasn't, you know, I mean like she just was whatever. But that's kind of what you're teaching them is like, yeah, you don't necessarily, that's what's model have to deal with your emotion. You just deal with the consequences of your emotion. [01:23:46] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:23:47] Speaker B: And you should be dealing with your emotion problem prior to speaking on it. [01:23:51] Speaker A: Uh huh. One, one video I saw, I have a problem with like losing my temper and yelling and stuff. I, I've already told that story about when I yelled at my daughter, which just made no sense because she's not fluent. It's like screaming at a Mexican who has no idea what you're saying. But good example of like, hey, don't create the situation that leads to this, this problem. But I've got a problem with yelling. And in one video I watched for preparation, they were like, so you yell for one reason. You yell because you don't have control over something because obviously you're frustrated so you're yelling. But if you had control over it, you wouldn't be yelling, you'd control it. So like you're yelling because you don't have control and it's like, yeah, okay, so, so then the argument obviously is like if you don't have control, there's no reason to yell. And if you do have control, control it, don't yell. You know, so like understanding that like on a personal level is like reasoning for sure. Yeah, so, so it's like, okay, so like all my arguments for yelling or towards banking or anything, they're just falling apart like by the minute, you know. [01:25:14] Speaker B: That'S why I honestly say it's a mindset and there's principle involved with this, you know, like you have to like, like again you're shaping these little, little, little things. You know, I had so many cuss words I'm trying to stay away from, but you're shaping them. Like your responses and response time is going to dictate how they become an adult, how they justify things, how they lie, how they respond, how they don't. [01:25:41] Speaker A: Right, that's what I was going to say. So like you don't yell for that logical reason. You're modeling not yelling. They don't become a Karen later in life. That's, you know, to tie into your point that you were making. [01:25:54] Speaker B: But that's what I'm saying. Like, like honestly you're teaching these people, these little people, like they're just, they're just recording for the first Couple years. Years, dude. And the cool part about it is they hit like, seven, eight, nine. And then you get a glimpse of their personality. You know what I mean? Like, you. You know them from whatever up up until like, six, as they're just recording, they're learning things, you know, and then like, 7, 8, 9, they start to get in the groove of, like, that transition into teenager. Like, it's kind of crazy because, like, you see, like, them going from, like, daddy's little girl just wanted to hold your hand, just wanted to, like, play tag with you or show you pictures to, like, you know, now they got these little snazzy little. Little snappy comebacks, and you're like, dude, like, that's funny. Like, you. Where'd you. You know? Or they're in, like, I don't know, man. It's. It's crazy because what you're pouring into them again, those first couple years in your parent phase, it's going to dictate how the coach phase goes. You know what I mean? Are you going to have a star player that wants to listen to you? Are you going to have someone that has talent but doesn't apply it and always gets caught up in the wrong crowds? You know, like, you can influence that. Like, when you talk to most people, successful or not in sports, a lot of them say their largest influence was their coach. Whether they made it in sports or not, they still had a coach at one, one time in their college career, and they said their coach was very impactful in their life. Because that's like the person you call. Like, who do you call when you're on the basketball team and you get in trouble and, like, all your boys are not even. Like, they're gonna get in trouble picking you up. You have to call an adult, call your coach or your parents. I'm talking about your traditional beat your ass type parents. I'm not talking about, like, the, you know, I'm talking about the kind that, like, I paid 20,000 for you to go to college, and this is what you're doing with it. You're calling your coach to bail you out. But then your coach is gonna give you some life lesson in that. Like, you need to expect that, like, hey, look like you have talent, but at the same time, like, you can end up dead or you can end up in jail. Like, this talent don't mean shit without. Without principle and discipline. [01:28:08] Speaker A: Yeah, damn. [01:28:10] Speaker B: I'm profound, bro. [01:28:15] Speaker A: I amaze even myself. [01:28:18] Speaker B: I feel like Will Ferrell when he comes up. Oh, so I said that today. To you in a text. I feel like Will Ferrell at the end of old school. Yeah, when he's at the end of old school, credits roll. And then he's in the. He's in the cereal aisle. And. And Mitch. Mitch Martin's ex. Fiance, Julie Roberts. Not Julia Roberts. Who's that? Who's that chick from Natural Born Killers? Oh, Julie. [01:28:54] Speaker A: Julia Shoes. What's eating? So, yeah, Juliet. Juliet Lewis. [01:29:00] Speaker B: Juliet Lewis. She's walking down the aisle with the card. She goes, hey, hey, Frank. She goes, hey, I'm having a couple people over tonight. You should come join us. And he was like, oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. And then she leaves and he hits, like, the cereal. [01:29:16] Speaker A: He punched the cereal and he's like, I remember that. He's like, I'm back. [01:29:19] Speaker B: I'm back. That's how I felt today, dude. I, like, walked out of my bathroom and I was like, I'm back, dude. Like, this is nice. Like, yeah, good. [01:29:30] Speaker A: I remember now. Cheese. [01:29:35] Speaker B: Hey, man, didn't we throw you, like, in a trash can or something? Yeah, well, I got out. Oh, okay. It's good to see, man. Good to see. Yeah. And it's Dean Pritchard now. [01:29:48] Speaker A: Great movie. I gotta watch that one again. I haven't seen that in probably 10 years. [01:29:53] Speaker B: You should probably save it and, like, make a trip out here one weekend. [01:29:57] Speaker A: Yeah. You know, I've been meaning to ask you. I'm not sure. It's probably going to be a bitch. But I am going to be driving probably two trips from Oklahoma to California while we're moving. So I wanted to stop, but one time I'm probably going to have the cats with me. And then the other time, I'm probably going to have a moving van. So, like, both of those just completely handcuff, like, what I'm able to actually stop and do. But if it does work out, if I do end up just taking a car by myself and not with the baggage, I'd like to stop by. [01:30:35] Speaker B: Heck yeah, dude, I'd love that. [01:30:37] Speaker A: I mean, you don't have to get me dinner. I mean, it's fine if you want. I'm cool with Denny's. Like, I love Denny's. It doesn't even have to be a big thing. You're embarrassing me. You're embarrassing me by making such a thing out of it. Really? [01:30:54] Speaker B: You. You now I'm gonna. You come out here and I'll take you on a date. A proper date. [01:31:04] Speaker A: No, no. I know how it goes with you. [01:31:07] Speaker B: Do you like seafood? [01:31:08] Speaker A: Halfway through my drink, I'm gonna start to feel funny and I'm gonna wake up on your floor. [01:31:15] Speaker B: No, I won't. I won't let you stay on the floor. Do you. Do you. Do you like seafood, though? All right, all right, all right. We'll go someplace nice when you come out. [01:31:26] Speaker A: All right. I don't like feeling. Feeling like prey. [01:31:36] Speaker B: You're not afraid. [01:31:38] Speaker A: This is how women feel. [01:31:40] Speaker B: But that felt gay as hell. I'm not gonna lie. Like, you're not praying, but I'm like, man, I should have just did it. Like, man, this. Is this your. Look, I didn't. I didn't know how to respond, bro. I didn't know how to respond. [01:31:52] Speaker A: This is how women feel. They feel like, I don't know. I mean, I know I am, but I don't feel fully safe with this guy, you know? Like. I know. Like, I know it's crazy, but, like, how crazy is it? Because we all know what I'm talking about, right? [01:32:15] Speaker B: Oh, man. Hey, then we'll go on a bike ride. [01:32:20] Speaker A: I would love that. [01:32:22] Speaker B: Probably. Probably won't, though, because it'll probably be in a hot season. You'll probably come out during, like, summer or some. [01:32:27] Speaker A: At this point, if it sold quickly, we'd be closing in, like, late May, which would probably be getting to the hot season for you. [01:32:38] Speaker B: Yeah, dude. [01:32:39] Speaker A: Yeah, Okay. I. I wasn't sure. [01:32:42] Speaker B: We're not going to do the bike ride. [01:32:44] Speaker A: All right. Okay. Okay. God. I'll come out sooner, I guess. I don't know. I was gonna say that reminded me of an Ari Shafir joke where he. He had a one night stand and when he left, he tied the used condom up and he took it with him. [01:33:06] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:33:06] Speaker A: And like. And everyone kind of started snickering and he's like, I mean, I know, I know. That's crazy, right? Everyone kind of laughing. He's like, yeah, it's kind of crazy. But is it, though? Because we all know what I'm talking about. We all know exactly why I took it. [01:33:26] Speaker B: Yeah, there's some crazy ones out there, for sure. [01:33:32] Speaker A: Well, I guess we. I guess we covered peaceful parenting. [01:33:36] Speaker B: Yeah, I think we did, man. Honestly, I didn't realize we had that much time. Like, who knew we had 22 minutes? No, I. I think. I think what you're saying. I think a lot of what you're. I. I smiled while you were sharing all that because I think a lot of what you're sharing is good. Like, is mature parenting. Like, parenting with principals, you know? Like, you're not trying to Beat your kid into submission. You're trying to, like, teach them how to be a successful adult, a healthy adult, I should say, like, mentally, emotionally, or. Yeah, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. And if you can, physically. But, you know, it's hard for me. I like the ice cream, you know. [01:34:22] Speaker A: Yeah. And, like. Yeah. It also just has to do. And one thing I've just not done very well is create, like, an environment that is good for a child just because I don't appreciate fully, like, how, you know, like, how their brain is responding to the. Like, I just think, like, everything I'm doing at this point in her life is off the radar, and she's not remembering it. She's not thinking about it. It's not affecting her. You know, the only thing that's affecting her is, like, face to face. What we're doing was like, no, if I'm in the other room yelling, she's probably hearing that and getting stressed out, and she's developing into a more stressed person because, you know her well. [01:35:08] Speaker B: Not even. Not. Not even stressed. But eventually, like, you're saying, hey, she doesn't remember anything now. No. But the more you repeat certain actions. [01:35:18] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:35:19] Speaker B: The more they will take. They will be ingrained in her. You know? I mean, like, well, quicker. She will learn those. [01:35:24] Speaker A: Even more than that, her. Her brain is learning how much cortisol to produce. She's like, on. On a level that we could never explain. She's learning how stressed she should be in. In a normal day, you know, without ever being on the conscious level, you feel like. [01:35:43] Speaker B: You feel like a. Huh. You probably feel like real piece of. After that yell with the. With the. [01:35:49] Speaker A: Not that. That one in particular. It's just recognizing my patterns and just. [01:35:54] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:35:55] Speaker A: Seeing that, like. Yeah. I just. I created. [01:35:58] Speaker B: You're taking the steps your parents didn't take. Yeah. Like, you're actually being purposeful with your parenting. It's peaceful. Purposeful parenting with principal. [01:36:10] Speaker A: Wow. That's a quadruple p. We can write. [01:36:14] Speaker B: We. I'm pretty sure we take each one of those little subjects we just talked about for the last half hour, make a chapter off of it, sell this. [01:36:21] Speaker A: Thing 100 pages, easy. [01:36:24] Speaker B: For reals, dude. I mean, I'm not trying to make a meal, but, you know, 100 gram. Be nice. [01:36:29] Speaker A: I mean, just get some shit paid off. Let's not go crazy. That's. That's a sad reality that if someone handed me $100,000, it would be like, all right. [01:36:50] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:36:50] Speaker A: I mean, I could pay the debt off and have a Little bit left over. We could. We could have seafood after I pay the debt off, you know? [01:36:58] Speaker B: But, dude, the freedom from the debt, bro. Like, I would trade, dude. Like, honestly, just the freedom from the debt to be like, all my debts paid. I ain't got to worry about nothing but rent and my car payment going forward. I paid off my car. All I got to worry about is. [01:37:13] Speaker A: Rent, you know, but there is something about, like, being handed cash and it not being yours. Just like, okay, I gotta hand this right over to someone else and just be done with it. [01:37:24] Speaker B: Okay. So that's how I feel like certain women in life feel when they are. When they help out on talk shows that, like, give away large amounts of money and they're like, standing there with it and they're like, I've never held a million dollars before. You're like, yeah, too bad. You gotta give it to the winner of the contest. [01:37:48] Speaker A: I'm getting paid $17 an hour to stand here in this dress. [01:37:53] Speaker B: Yeah. And hold a million dollars. [01:37:55] Speaker A: Shut up and hand him that check. God. The mouth on this broad. [01:38:00] Speaker B: The mouth on this bra. All right, Good times, man. Good times. [01:38:11] Speaker A: Is there any more we could. We could hit next week? [01:38:15] Speaker B: You know what, on peaceful parenting. No, I think. I think we beat the dead horse on that one. However, what other topics did I write down? Oh, that's Red Flag. Red Flag. Took up a lot of pages, bro. I'm not gonna lie. [01:38:36] Speaker A: It was two. Two hour episodes. It was our magnum opus. [01:38:46] Speaker B: You don't have much right now, man. What do you. What are you thinking, man? What are you going through in life right now? [01:38:51] Speaker A: I. Going through in life. It's probably nowhere near a full podcast worth of material, but I have been thinking about, like, phases of life and just trying to connect with the phase that I'm in and not be, like, stressing out, out about the phase that's coming up or, like looking back depressively at the phase that's gone, you know, because you're just constantly, like, looking back on the good old days or getting stressed out about what the future is going to be like. But life is just phases and it just sort of ends. That's what they do. They end and new stuff, new stuff comes, and I pretty much just gave the whole thing away right there. But that's. That's what I've been thinking about, trying to focus on. [01:39:50] Speaker B: All right, I like that. I like that. Cuz I have some of the thoughts you didn't touch on. [01:39:55] Speaker A: Okay, cool. [01:39:59] Speaker B: Awesome, man. All right. Phases of life. [01:40:05] Speaker A: We Got it. Is that it? [01:40:08] Speaker B: Mordecai? I'm Rocky, bro. You called me Mordecai earlier too, and I was like, maybe he was talking in the third person. [01:40:17] Speaker A: I don't know if we could do different names every week, dude. I can't remember them. [01:40:24] Speaker B: We kind of built our whole career on it, man. [01:40:27] Speaker A: Yeah, it's kind of the branding now. That's okay. All right. Yeah, I'm Mordecai. [01:40:33] Speaker B: All right. Phases of life. It's been a pleasure as always hanging out with you, man. I enjoyed tonight. So much so that the battery died on my light, man. [01:40:43] Speaker A: Yep. Now you're just getting ready for bed. Getting some red light. [01:40:48] Speaker B: Yeah. Did you see? Did you see? I. Dude, I even got matching shoes on for. For this event tonight, Dude, I feel like I'm going to start getting dressed up for. For this. You know what I mean? Like, I look forward to it. I'm like. It's Wednesday night date night with. With Morai. [01:41:02] Speaker A: It's so funny because I have the exact opposite. I'm like, excited and I'm like, all right, date night. Get those sweatpants on. Let's party. I'm gonna get his chill. I'm gonna crack a beer. Let's do this. [01:41:19] Speaker B: Crack a beer, but hand them I pants and just sit here and talk. [01:41:22] Speaker A: I'm gonna Al Bundy this. [01:41:27] Speaker B: All right, man. I did too. I did. I did the sweats. I like. I like the sweats, but it's just. It's such nice weather. I went for a bike ride. I figured I'm wearing this out tonight, you know? [01:41:37] Speaker A: Yeah. Nice. [01:41:39] Speaker B: All right, man. I love you. [01:41:42] Speaker A: Love you too. This has been pseudonyms. Goodbye, everybody. [01:41:47] Speaker B: We gotta have. We gotta have theme music, dude.