032: A Fraction of Zero

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Dude, it's a little transformation I'm seeing right here. [00:00:04] Speaker B: Explain. [00:00:07] Speaker A: Your beard is coming in really well. [00:00:11] Speaker B: Oh, thank you. This is the stage when it's good. When it. When it gets longer than this. [00:00:17] Speaker A: Yeah. It. [00:00:18] Speaker B: It appears that there's nothing here. And it's just pubes kind of hanging down off my neck. [00:00:24] Speaker A: I get that right here. Yeah, yeah. Like, right on the side of my mouth. Mouth. It's like, yeah, no good. [00:00:32] Speaker B: What I was originally gonna do is I was gonna go for the. The horseshoe, the handlebar coming down. But I've kind of soured on it since I started growing the beard out. So now I'm probably just gonna shave it all. [00:00:47] Speaker A: I thought maybe you saw Hulk Hogan again. You're like, wait, that's been played out, buddy. [00:00:52] Speaker B: You'll never guess who inspired that. Freaking you, probably. It probably wouldn't even mean anything to you, but Davey Havoc from AFI has come out. Like, there's a new album coming out next month. And he has a full blown, like, Italian Jew afro and a full handlebar mustache. Like, the guy who used to have, like, long black hair and like, painted nails and shit. Like, he's come out as a full blown guido and it looks awesome. And so that's. That's what I was going for, but I've. I don't know if I can pull that off. [00:01:30] Speaker A: You should try. You'll never know. [00:01:33] Speaker B: It's true, though. The only time I tried it, the. This part down on my chin was too short, so it didn't match the length of my mustache. That's why I was going to grow it out a little bit longer, trim up that. So maybe I'll still try it. [00:01:49] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:01:50] Speaker B: Yeah. I'm gonna. I'm gonna go as short as I can with the stash, so it kind of blends right into the. [00:01:54] Speaker A: Mm. Yeah. [00:01:56] Speaker B: So we'll see. I'll try it for you. [00:01:58] Speaker A: Well, Chip, I would take it. [00:02:03] Speaker B: Maybe. Might have to be a couple more weeks. [00:02:07] Speaker A: I think we get away with next week. Okay. I kind of like seeing you different every time. [00:02:15] Speaker B: Oh, good. [00:02:16] Speaker A: Not a bad way. Not a bad way. It was kind of cool seeing the original transformation from what you had to where you're at. [00:02:26] Speaker B: Oh, yeah? Yeah. It's mostly just laziness now I'm at a point where, like, I can't even shave my head. Cause it's too long. So I'm gonna have to clip it all and that's gonna be a whole thing. [00:02:37] Speaker A: So now it's just been there. [00:02:40] Speaker B: We'll wait until I Have a job interview before anything happens to this hair. [00:02:44] Speaker A: Wow, dude, you're. You're. You're. I'm watching it. Watching it live. He was like, you know what? [00:02:49] Speaker B: Watching it. Like, my will for living. [00:02:51] Speaker A: My will for living is right down the corner. Oh, yeah. [00:02:55] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [00:02:56] Speaker A: You're like, I'm a while now. It's gonna take some work to pull those clippers and shave my head. So. Yeah. [00:03:03] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. It's. I mean, it's a full blown miracle that I shower. And that's not even. That's not even. That's not even happening every day. [00:03:13] Speaker A: Chicks are. Every other day. I can go every other day. [00:03:17] Speaker B: I don't even need dry shampoo. [00:03:20] Speaker A: I'm proud of you, dude. Like, it's hard, dude. It's hard. You could be worse off. You could be worse off. [00:03:28] Speaker B: That would definitely. [00:03:29] Speaker A: You're very blessed. Definitely. You're very blessed. [00:03:31] Speaker B: I had to do that. I had to do that in my journal last night. I had to write down. All right, let's. Let's write down everything that is positive. [00:03:38] Speaker A: Yeah, quite a bit there is, dude. You're. You're in a good spot, man. You're a good spot. [00:03:43] Speaker B: It's. It could be what? It could be worse. It's not my best. [00:03:47] Speaker A: Yeah. You go weeks without showering? [00:03:50] Speaker B: Sure. I could. I could be homeless. [00:03:54] Speaker A: So. Do you see any. Anybody you know right now, like, in person? [00:03:59] Speaker B: Yeah, here and there. Go to church with a couple people. Couple old friends. [00:04:07] Speaker A: So they're seeing this? Some of whom you go out like this? [00:04:10] Speaker B: No, I've got a baseball hat on everywhere I go. [00:04:15] Speaker A: Okay. [00:04:15] Speaker B: No one's seeing. No one's seeing this. [00:04:17] Speaker A: That's how I was when I was. [00:04:19] Speaker B: Trying to grow back. Yeah, that was the joke I made last week about when your daughter answered the phone. No one's. No one's seeing this. [00:04:29] Speaker A: So I'm gonna call you Chip tonight. If you didn't pick up on that the first time. [00:04:36] Speaker B: And you're Dale. [00:04:38] Speaker A: I'll take Dale. [00:04:39] Speaker B: You know, we've. We've done those names before, but I'm fine with reusing them. [00:04:44] Speaker A: Yeah, well, we got to reuse them for this event. Unless you're gonna be mini. [00:04:49] Speaker B: I can't be many. I'm sorry. That's just. [00:04:54] Speaker A: I'll do Pluto. [00:04:56] Speaker B: All right, well, that makes me goofy, you bastard. What? You get to. You get to have the cool, celestial name. I have to be goofy. [00:05:10] Speaker A: I get something that's defined my whole life. Yeah, fine. I'm goofy. [00:05:15] Speaker B: You know what? [00:05:15] Speaker A: I will. And See, if you went Dewey or Louie on me, I was gonna go. [00:05:20] Speaker B: I would have said. I would have said Lewis. That's where I am in pop culture. [00:05:27] Speaker A: Going to tell you where I'm at your launch pad. [00:05:30] Speaker B: Launchpad. [00:05:31] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. DuckTales. Yeah. Launchpad. [00:05:33] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Never was a big Ducktales guy. [00:05:36] Speaker A: Yeah, I was. [00:05:39] Speaker B: I know. Dark wing. [00:05:41] Speaker A: I love Dark Wing. I'll take it. I'll take it. Kind of a. [00:05:44] Speaker B: Do you want to be Darkwing? [00:05:46] Speaker A: Because I was. [00:05:46] Speaker B: I was going to. I was going to be Goofy, and I was going to tell you about how my first ever nightmare was about goofy. [00:05:55] Speaker A: Really? [00:05:56] Speaker B: I really was. I couldn't. I couldn't have been more than four. And I had a vivid dream of, like, a werewolfed out goofy, like, with fangs and fucking crazy eyes coming out of my closet, like, into the room with me as clear as day. And, like, now, as an adult, I'm pretty sure that that was one of my, like, waking nightmares where, like, I'm awake but I'm still in the dream because that happens to me a lot now. Yeah, that was fucked up. [00:06:30] Speaker A: Yeah. Okay, so you'll be Launchpad or Scrooge, Whatever you want. Monterey. Take Monterey. I don't care. [00:06:35] Speaker B: You don't have to be goofy. You don't have to be goofy. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I even brought it up. No, it. I'm Goofy, you're Pluto. [00:06:46] Speaker A: Okay. I can appreciate. [00:06:48] Speaker B: Happy. Are you happy? [00:06:50] Speaker A: God. So, yeah. Quite the trip, man. Welcome to Pseudonyms. [00:07:00] Speaker B: Oh, I'm so excited. Number one's not jumping on tonight, is she? [00:07:04] Speaker A: So I thought about that. I was gonna. I was gonna do that. I don't. I'm sure she has a recording equipment. I thought about this. I thought this through, and I was like, no. Because I also don't want it to turn into something where. And not that it would. Simply assuming that it might take a left turn that would make me. It would make it hard to recover from. Had one of my other kids stumbled across this because Pseudonyms Group chat popped up on my screen and I was like, oh, shit. So I was like, mute. All that's when I was like, hey, guys, you're popping up on my screen. Yeah. [00:07:38] Speaker B: Was my actual text on there? Because that was, like, the worst one to get called. [00:07:42] Speaker A: I learned that trick real quick. You don't put the actual text on there. [00:07:46] Speaker B: Okay. I was actually just telling everyone tonight about how the text I sent and then the next text was like, hey, you're on the car screen. [00:08:00] Speaker A: Yeah. So. [00:08:05] Speaker B: Okay, well, start us at the beginning. [00:08:07] Speaker A: All right? [00:08:08] Speaker B: First contact. Number one stays with you, and then you guys go to the airport together, right? [00:08:14] Speaker A: No, Number one's at Mom's, which allowed me to say proper goodbye, you know, to my lovely lady, that is staying in the sanctuary. That's what I've been told to call it. [00:08:30] Speaker B: Where you feel like you're safe, but then sometimes you're choked unconscious. [00:08:36] Speaker A: So we go, I pick them up, we go to airport, everything's fine. Not a lot of, like, chatter about social life, if you will. There's no, like, hey, so how's life? Oh, I've been doing this with work. How's work? None of that. None of that. It's kind of like, this is where we're going. We got a mission, you know, she's talking to the girls. I'm kind of doing my thing. Get on a plane, we land, we'll get something to eat. Number one takes off to go have lunch with her grandparents who live in. Live in state. We get checked into our room. The girls. All I know is I'm not sleeping with the girls. That's all I know. Wherever she's at, I ain't. That's how we doing it. So the girls all pick the guest bedroom, which had two queen beds, a nice big bathroom. I don't know the bedding situation in there. I'm assuming it's going to be 1 and 3, 2 and X. So I'm assuming, I don't know. I go into the master room, set up my set of my little house. We go to, like, Disney Springs, do a little shopping, get. Get number four, like, a little birthday gift. And number one ends up going back to the hotel from lunch with grandparents. So she's in. In a room. [00:10:03] Speaker B: She was under strict orders to be your buffer the whole time. First thing she does is fuck off and go have lunch with her grandparents. That's crazy. [00:10:18] Speaker A: So we end up going back to the room. [00:10:20] Speaker B: I'm docking her pay. So do you know what a fraction of zero is? Because it's about to happen. [00:10:31] Speaker A: Do you know what a fraction of zero is? So. So we go back and, like, I guess the girls run in and I hear it. They're like, no, no, we already claimed that bed. It's kind of like, I get it. That's how they joke. But at the same time, like, I don't know. But it was like, it was also aggressive at the same time, like, hey, you're stuck with. With the ex here's. And no one wants to sleep in the same bed with their stepmom. So she's like, whatever, dude. So she comes out in the living room and takes the living room bed, where number four is also on the other living room bed. Like the walls folded down, you know, the height of beds that you just pull the wall down and there's a bed. And so then I'm in the master room. I'm like, hey, you can have it, whatever. We in the night, go get snacks, kind of each person in their room getting ready for the next day, wake up, next day. We all go to Walt Disney World or the Magic Kingdom. Magic Kingdom is where we go. We get there pretty much like at 8 o'. Clock. It opens at 7. We get there around 7:30. Eight, I guess, 8:30 maybe. I don't know. We go on the rides, we're having a good time. She's like, are you mad at me? No, not mad at you. Are you like, not talking? Big country. What's that? Yeah, big country. I'm like, everything's cool. At the same time, number one is a little distant. And we'll get to that. But she's a little distant and you know, everybody's asking, like, what's up with her? Like, what's, what's going on? Is everything cool? And I'm like, honestly, it's probably just. It's probably a lot, you know, I'm like, there's, you know, she probably, there's probably a lot of feelings going on. I don't know what they are, but you know, like, yeah, she's cool. She's a little overwhelmed. She's a little stimulated by everybody. We end the night, we walk. We end up walking 11 miles that day. Oh yeah. Here is one thing that did happen on that first night that we go to Magic Kingdom. We have special dinner reservations for be our guest. We go eat. It's a three course meal for everybody. The end of the mill, big country, who I've been referring to as dickhead a lot lately, wants to order a. [00:12:43] Speaker B: Such a great word for women. It's like asshole. Have you ever called a girl an asshole? It just, it's just, it's a very masculine insult. [00:12:53] Speaker A: It's a very. [00:12:53] Speaker B: Yeah, but it's so funny. It's so funny if you pull it off. So, dickhead. [00:13:00] Speaker A: She orders a cappuccino, takes like two drinks, says, I'm good. So like, we're all ready to go. And she's like, oh, I'm good. And I'm like, wait, wait, go ahead and finish drinking that like, like, do your thing. Like, I clearly know I'm done with it. No way you're done with that. There's no way. Like, I must. We must be rushing. You enjoy it. So she drinks like to the half mark and then she's like, I'm done. I'm like, why would you order drink just to order it? Why? [00:13:30] Speaker B: Can I guess that that cappuccino was 1850, something like that? [00:13:36] Speaker A: Yeah. So fast forward next day, I get a drink. And she's like, or that, that. That night we landed. We get there and we. I stop off and I'm like, I need a beer. So I go and I get a beer and. Because the girls are bitching about water. Where's. I just need water. Before we go to the store. I just need water. I'm like, oh my gosh. Like, you got to be kidding me. I drank water last time. You drink water. I would like some water, but I don't need. I could go inside the store. You know what I mean? Like, it was. It became a thing. So I was like, it. Give me a beer. So then she's like, you know, oh, I'm gonna get a drink that's. That's mighty. Just free of you, you know, just ah. What he's having. No, how about you have a water like what they're having. [00:14:27] Speaker B: Why don't you let me have solitude? [00:14:31] Speaker A: Well, like anytime I went up and got like a drink, which didn't happen often, it was like maybe two or three times. She would be like, oh, you know, I'd like the same thing. And I'm like, oh, you're just assuming I'm buying all your drinks. You're just assuming would I said that second time I was like, oh, oh. So like, I'm just. What? I'm just. You're just. I'm buying the drinks. Like, come on, dude. Like, she didn't pick up on it, apparently. And so. [00:14:54] Speaker B: No, I bet she did. So I bet she did. And then proceeded on course. [00:15:00] Speaker A: Yeah. So then. So then, you know, kind of fast forward that. That night rounds to an end. We spend the whole night at. At dis. Magic Kingdom or whatever. We go back around 11:30 at night to the room. Yes. First, that's, that's the second night there. First. First resort down. Second, I'm back in the room and then I go and I go into my. My confines and I make the calls that I wish to proceed with and. What's up, my friend? [00:15:32] Speaker B: I do have a question about the room situation. Is this a huge Suite and everyone's in different rooms or are you in two completely separated rooms? [00:15:41] Speaker A: All right, so you walk in, there's like a foyer area. To the right is a full bathroom, like, huge bathroom, two sinks, you know, separated toilet, shower, bathtub. Two queen beds, full furnished, two queen beds. So they have dressers and shit. You know, if you go back to the foyer area, you make a left. You immediately come to the dining room, which, which is connected to the kitchen. And then on the other side of those is the living room area. If you continue to go straight, like past the kitchen and all that, you go into the master bedroom that has its, you know, bathroom shower curtain or shower, bathtub, king size bed, chairs, like that. So I didn't know it was that big. I. I was assuming it was two joined bedrooms and like a foyer, like a gathering area, you know? You know, that's what I'm assuming when I purchase this. So it's to my surprise as well. My girls are very thankful. They're just like, oh, my God. [00:16:38] Speaker B: And you were in the master? [00:16:40] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, Lock my door. [00:16:42] Speaker B: I was gonna say. I was gonna say if you weren't in the master, dude. [00:16:46] Speaker A: Yeah, I offered to give it up to number one, which I, to me, I totally understood, because women need their privacy. They do women stuff. You know, they get dressed and they do women stuff, you know, I mean, so like, if she wanted it, I get it. I'm a male, you know, and if they wanted to, you know, do their little thing, let them do their little thing, whatever. So day two comes around, we go to another park, and the first ride we get in line for, it's Hollywood Studios. And we get in line for the Tower of Terror. And like, we're playing heads up. Now, mind you, number one is still kind of in the same mindset she is in. Yes. In the day before. So. So she's kind of like doing her, you know, not really engaging. When we're in line and stuff, she'll conversate, but she doesn't want to really care to play any games and stuff. A lot of energy. And so number two says, are you gonna be like this all day? And so then I like, I shoot number one a text, like, hey, like, partake with us if you wouldn't mind. Like, honestly, like, it's kind of bumming me out. Well, she just like jumps out of line and walks off and I'm like, okay, like, not sure how to approach this, you know, And I'll explain kind of what I went through in my thought process after this, but I was like, I'm not sure how to approach this, you know, so she's not gonna. [00:18:00] Speaker B: Be hearing any of this for the first time, right? You've. You've talked all this out. [00:18:06] Speaker A: It didn't seem to be something to be talked out. Like, this is where I'm gonna get to the explaining part, you know, like, so then now, part of this, she'll show here for the first time. Because we haven't really talked yet. Like, mind you, we landed last night. I didn't get home till about 9:30 and then went to work straight from there. And I just got off. And we haven't really, like, talked and debriefed, nor do. Nor do I also want to create any unnecessary drama, which is where I was trying to go all fucking weekend. And the weekend just kept getting, like, crazier. It was good. A lot of good times. Whole time was good. [00:18:41] Speaker B: Overall, a lot of. That's a lot of vaginas to avoid drama. So just. [00:18:47] Speaker A: So then, like, we get back from. We. We do the studio, me and. And the other three in the Ex. And then at the end of studio, we go back and she's there and. And, you know, like, number two and three are a little upset. They're like, dude, why couldn't she just, like, not do this today and do time make, you know, like, do it for. For number four? Like, you know, like, that's not cool. Now Big country, she goes off, makes some phone calls. I don't know. Me and number two go for a walk because she's gonna go look for Big Country. I want to make sure she's not walking alone, so I walk out with her. So we just start talking. She has a little vape, so I'm like, oh, you know, I'll take a little. Little hate with you. We're talking. So we see Big country on the phone. So we sit down at the table and we start talking. And she's like, yeah, you know, like, thank you so much. This and that. We start talking about work. Hey, you should, you know, like, talking about getting a job at my company. Yeah, we're talking about her background. We're talking about all this. And I say, you know, it's cool because Stretch Mark started out as an escort for our company, and now he's kind of, like, doing, like, overseeing projects for us. They're small, but they're getting. Getting his feet wet. I said it's an opportunity for him to deliver and ask for more, you know, like, he's Showing that, hey, I could do this. And so Big country comes walking up after her phone call, and she's like, oh, you know, she's just sitting there, and she's talking to number two about work as well, like, oh, you could do this. And, yeah. You know, and. And I said something like, well, you can. You don't have to be a super. You know, you can go into, like, PM work and start doing PM work for, you know, for us. And. And she's like, and, you know, Big country thinking she's a pm. It's like, oh, yeah, you know, like, I'm. I. I'm PM jobs. She's a pe, by the way, project engineer. [00:20:35] Speaker B: Which I. I do just want to say me and a lot of other people have been on the receiving end of this of, like, her sitting down with a cigarillo, and she's gonna tell us what the up with our lives. And I'll just say it's never come across very well. [00:20:54] Speaker A: So, yeah. So then she's like, you know, like, oh, well, you know, superintendents don't know what. What PMs do. They. You know, I'm. I hear all these superintendents say they know what we. They have no idea what goes on on the backside. And I'm like, I do. And she's like, what do we do? I'm like, I have to do it for my projects as well. I'm PMN super. I'm like, so you don't walk through the process. Client wants job done. I walk job. The client get a work scope. Bring my. Bring the guys, and I overlook the plans. Bring in my subs. Different subs. This is the work scope, guys. We do a job walk. They bid it. They bid it. I look at their contracts. I see what their exclusions. Inclusions are. See if it's worth a dollar amount compared to other bids, other estimates. You know, I was like, same thing. Oh, he included this. They. Okay, Boom. Then we write up the contracts. Oh, you write the contracts? [00:21:40] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:21:41] Speaker A: Yep. Have the contracts written up. Then we send them over. And she's like, well, I guess, like, you know, your dad does more than what most superintendents do. And I'm like, okay, cool. Thank you. Thank you. That my credentials signed off with you. I appreciate that. Project engineer, mind you, Project validation. [00:21:59] Speaker B: That validation is going to get me through the rest of the year. [00:22:03] Speaker A: So a project engineer is basically what you do right out of school. So you're the gopher. You know what I mean? Like, hey, I. I sent that to the printer. Go grab it for me, staple it. Collate. [00:22:14] Speaker B: Engineer is a fancy word for you. Make things happen. [00:22:18] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. People say that like they're actually engineering a building. You know what I mean? Like, oh, I'm a project engineer. It sounds fancy. [00:22:25] Speaker B: It is a great title to have, right? [00:22:28] Speaker A: I thought it was real fancy until, like, year two. And I'm like, oh, they just ordered the dumpsters. Oh, cool. Need some more porta Potties out here. So. So she's. I'm like, whatever, you know, and then she. She said something about like, oh, we need to stay unified as a family. And, you know, I just feel like this. This demonic, like, oppression out here. And, you know, like, we should be praying and stuff. And number two is like, you're in. [00:22:56] Speaker B: The happiest place on Earth, bitch. [00:22:59] Speaker A: What? [00:22:59] Speaker B: Demonic oppression. [00:23:02] Speaker A: Number two is like, nah, nah, ma, we're at Disneyland. I don't really want to do all that now. Right now. Like, yes. Kind of where I'm at, dude. Like, not that I'm not, like, against praying, but, like, you're trying to make this. I don't know what you're trying to make this. [00:23:16] Speaker B: This is not a dark time. [00:23:18] Speaker A: The. The God wants to see us unified like a family, right? So I don't know where she's going, so she says, well, we're a family. [00:23:25] Speaker B: I should have brought my gas can. I do it. [00:23:29] Speaker A: That was brought up on the plane ride. So. So. So, yeah. So she's like, why do you. You know, like, oh, so, like, you know, I'm using family as in a biblical term, you know, for all of the same mind, and, like, we're of the world family. And I'm like, all right, cool. Like, whatever. I know you don't, but that's cool. So then, like, I'm letting this go, not biting, not. I'm not getting. Getting snagged, right? So then, like, she keeps asking. She's like, well, so, like, what are you gonna do about today? So what do you mean, what I'm gonna do about today? She's like, well, are you gonna. Like, you're. I know. If that was, you know, our daughters, like, I would. And I'm like, I'm gonna let it go. She's like, are you serious? I'm like, yeah, we're on vacation. If. If I don't know why it happened by time I get home in that sense of. Then, yeah, me and her can have the conversation later. But it's not something I'm gonna address right now and put her on the spot. Like, that's Already awkward. I'm like, I don't know how she's feeling. Maybe she's dealing with some emotions. She. She didn't have a clue that we're coming up. Maybe she sees, like, hey, this is how he is with 2, 3, 4. I missed out on that in those years. And I don't know, maybe she feels like it's her against them or it's a divided house in the sense that she's the. The outlier, you know? Like, I don't know. Yeah. [00:24:49] Speaker B: The point is, nobody knows yet. And the last thing you need to be doing is, like, getting in her face and making a thing about it. I mean, like, what. What if. What if she just, like, lost a family member and just hasn't brought it up? [00:25:04] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:25:05] Speaker B: Because she doesn't want to ruin Disney World. [00:25:07] Speaker A: Yeah. I'm like, I don't know. So then all of a sudden, she goes, well, how far are you gonna, like, go? And, well, first number two says, and her and Big country both say, yeah, that makes sense. That makes sense. Like, good call. That makes sense. I'm like, all right, cool. Fast forward. I don't know. Five minutes later, she's like, so when's. Like, when is. When is enough. And I'm like, so. [00:25:28] Speaker B: I didn't get it. I didn't understand what you said, actually. [00:25:32] Speaker A: So I'm like. I go through it again. I say, like I said before, this is not something I'm going to address during the trip. So if that's what your goal is or your hopes, just throw that out the door, because it's not happening on this trip. Couple minutes more passed. She goes, well, you know, like, I. You know, I'm gonna protect my daughters and this and that. I'm like, to properly protect your daughters, you should guide them and talk to them. For you to be stepping in when they're grown women to deal with their stuff is not healthy for them. It's not teaching them anything. And I've already explained myself. I'm not asking you to explain yourself. I said, when you say how, why, or when, you're placing the ball in my court to then explain how, why, or when. Therefore, I'm having to explain myself. Again, Number two goes, yeah, that's true, Mom. He said it three times already. Big Country. It's kind of like. And she's like, no, I'm not trying to be rude. Like, like. But he has explained it. Really. She's like, yeah, okay. Okay. So then she goes, so. So then, like, number three says something about family. And she goes, divided family. Like, non fan. Like, two separate units. And I'm like, she probably meant it in the biblical way of, like, one mind. We're all family, you know, and shoot. So then number Two doesn't think it's funny because she sees where this is going. And so I go, hey, number Two, it's all fun and games. I'm like, she said something I said. I just repeated her. Her saying as a rebuttal to just defend you. I was like, it's not a big deal. So then she goes, why are you so big on this family thing? Like, because you called me about a family picture, and it sat with me, and that's why I responded with the text. I responded with about, like, you do pictures with the girls, I'll do pictures with the girls. She's like, I don't. I don't have a text that says that. And number Two goes, yeah, you do, Mom. You told me about it. And she's like, no, I don't have a text talking about family pictures. And I'm like, no, that was a phone call. You called me. I talked it over with some. Like, some friends. I, you know, kind of. It. I didn't know how to address it, and I addressed it. That's why I sent that text. And she was just like, no. What? I was. I didn't say family. I said. And I was like, whoa, this is what we're not gonna do anymore. I'm not gonna sit back and listen to you lie to me. I know you said family. [00:27:45] Speaker B: Was she lying? Was she lying? Or was she high enough to hunt geese with a rake? And she doesn't remember what you said. [00:27:53] Speaker A: I think that's how she lives her life. That's why I think there's an issue with. With pot smokers, you know, Like, I don't have a problem with a pot smoker, but I'm not gonna expect you to be the one that is on my jury, like, on my stand when I'm on trial, you know? I mean. Yeah, like, there is a lapse. I know. Because when I got high all the time. Yeah. My memory wasn't the best. It wasn't as quick as it could be. So I'm not mad at her, but at the same time, I felt like she was also trying to paint a different picture than what was painted, because I know she said family pictures because she made it about. About number four. Well, don't you think she want a picture of the family together? Sure. Okay. And then I thought about it. I Came back. So she gets pissed off, and I'm like, hey, we could just disagree to disagree. We could disagree to disagree. Boom, we're done. Like, we don't do this on this trip. Number two is like, yeah, that's a good idea. So we get. She. You know, she goes, no, I just. And I'll go again. We're not talking about it no more. It's not a big deal. You know where you're at. I know where you. I. I know where I'm at. Like, we're good. You know, whatever. She walks off. Whatever. So me and number two start laughing because, like, oh. She goes, I'm not really concerned. That was one of the things she said. She goes, I'm not too concerned with the whole number one situation. And I'm like, yeah, that's obvious. That's real obvious. And so, like, number two and me start laughing because I'm being sarcastic. Like, yeah, you asked clearly two or three times what I'm gonna do about it. But yet you're not. You don't really care about it. So I was like, yeah, that's. That's quite obvious. So she gets like. Like embarrassed that me and number two are having a laughing moment at her expense. You know, whatever. Fast forward back to the argument. She. She gets up, walks off. So me and number two are kind of like, man, what we tried to go against happened. You know what I mean? We didn't want to fight this weekend, and now we're fighting because we don't want to fight. [00:29:52] Speaker B: So. So number three and four are in line. Number one is unaccounted for at this point. [00:29:59] Speaker A: Yeah, I know she's safe because I'm communicating with number one's mom. [00:30:04] Speaker B: Okay? [00:30:05] Speaker A: So I'm like, hey, like, this is situation. Like, could you feel me? And I don't really know how to. How to, like, maneuver to. To kind of move around in this situation because of, you know, her mom's been there her whole life. I look at it sometimes as like, well, I haven't. So there are certain limitations I have. [00:30:25] Speaker B: Fair enough. [00:30:26] Speaker A: And so her mom helps me out. Anyhow, I sit down the table, I'm getting with number two and big country, and I'm like, look, what. What we're not gonna do is we're not gonna address it. I expect to call her back. We're gonna play some family games. We're gonna act like today didn't happen. That's how we're gonna move forward on this trip to enjoy the rest of the night. Like, it's not gonna be addressed so anybody. And number two is, like, on board. She's like, no, that makes sense. Like, I get it. Like, that makes sense. So let me go back. [00:30:57] Speaker B: Are you sure? Because you came at her pretty aggressively before. I would like to avoid that. [00:31:06] Speaker A: So then, like, it kind of proceeds from there. We play. Oh, so, okay, so this did happen also during. During the morning of the second resort to before Hollywood studios. She goes, I go into kind of see if we want to order breakfast, go down there, make sure everybody's up. And she's like, hey, everybody. Yes. She goes, I blacked out and, like, fainted and passed out on the. On the patio last night in front of the girls who did Big Country. And I'm like. So I'm like, oh. Oh, damn. And she goes, and then I came in here and I blacked out again. I passed out, and I slept right here on the floor of the bathroom. And I'm like, mind you, it's an open bathroom. I want to make that clear. This is not. I'm not in a single door behind me or in the doorway. No, no, it's right when you walk in room two vanities, big mirror. And I go, oh, wow. Okay. Well, I was just making sure he's up and did we want me. Should I order breakfast or. And she's like. She's like, did you like, kind of like cocked head, like, eyes watering, like, did you hear what I said? And I'm like, that. That sucks. I'm sorry. Like, that's. That sucks. [00:32:17] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, it could be a brain tumor. Shit. So you want eggs or. [00:32:22] Speaker A: Yeah. Hello. I'm kind of in the middle of something myself, trying to order breakfast. [00:32:28] Speaker B: I've got my own things going on. [00:32:30] Speaker A: I got my own things. [00:32:33] Speaker B: I've got my own proverbial blackouts happening. And it's mostly about you not telling me whether you want breakfast. [00:32:39] Speaker A: Breakfast. So then fast forward, you know, number one takes off. We're all in line waiting for a ride. And she goes. She's talking about it again with, like, the girls. And I'm not really listening. I'm. This most of the weekend. I'm not listening to what she says. Care less. And she goes, that would be like your dream come true or something. I'm like, that's when I kind of click in, like, what? What are you talking about? She's like, I'm trying to tell you, like, what happened. Like, is that, like, your wish come true that I would just, like, die? And I'm like, no, she's like, well, you act like you don't care. I'm not your husband. I don't care. I don't know what you're asking of me. What do you want me to do? [00:33:15] Speaker B: We're not gonna pretend that her death wouldn't solve a lot of problems, right? [00:33:20] Speaker A: I was fighting back. [00:33:23] Speaker B: I'm trying to gauge how I should be acting during this conversation. [00:33:29] Speaker A: So. So then, like, it is, whatever it is. I think that gets broken up because the guy at the gate to like, let us on the right is like, is there a writer of one? And I was like, we need one loser. Anybody here? One loser. And like, I thought it was gonna go over like a smash. No, it got dead silence, like, who the is this prick? And so I was just like, okay, well, you know, like, hey, you know, is what it is. I just look forward, you know, and talk to my daughter. Yeah, tough crowd. [00:34:04] Speaker B: You pull on your dollar. [00:34:07] Speaker A: Yeah. We get on the ride and kind of like throughout the day, she's asking if I'm mad at her because I'm not really talking to her. I'm like, no. So, you know, we're back on the second day, or now we're on day three. This is day three, and we go get something to eat. We go on the rides, we go get something to eat. And they've already kind of joked about like on day one or two, like, oh, like if. If the kids were trying to do a Parent trap. And I don't really play into it, so I don't really pay attention to their conversation. I just know Parent trap was brought up. I didn't engage. [00:34:44] Speaker B: Don't even joke about it, right? [00:34:47] Speaker A: So now we're fast forward on day three and we do Animal Kingdom in the morning and Epcot at night. And she goes, I go order the food. Everybody orders the food. I'm waiting for it to get called up so I can bring it to the table every time I go get food, except for once I get the food for everyone. And only one that comes up to help is number three, get the food for everyone. And like, I have to now go figure out where the this table is. You know what I mean? Walking with trays, they got cups on them and stuff. Number three, when she'd come, help would tell me where the table is. Big country ran into me once and told me where the table was on the first kind of go around. So now I'm coming out, I don't know where anybody's at. I go, number three comes out. It helps me Tells me where the table is. I sit down the stuff. There's no plastic wear. Nothing. Nope. No napkins, no condiments yet. So I'm like, oh, all these are like plastic wear foods. So that's cool, guys. I'll go get all the plastic wear. Like, don't. No, no, please, please, I insist. And big country guy picks up. Oh, I go get. No, no, no, no. I'm already doing it now. Now I've already step away from table. So I get the plastic where I come back, we're eating and stuff. Now fast forward. That was. That was that day. Nothing crazy happened on that day, if you will. There was no, like, I don't know. Oh, we went to get on a ride, and it was the first ride we sat together because all the kids wanted to team up and sit with their, you know, their sister. So I'm like, great. And she goes, do you think she's trying to parent trap us? I said, no, not at all. Nope. Nope. Mm. [00:36:35] Speaker B: Number one, I just. Just for the. Just for the record, number one allowed this seating arrangement to happen. [00:36:44] Speaker A: She did save me on a lot. So let's back up. Getting on the plane. Number four is like, hey, for my birthday, I want to sit next to number three and four. There's only three seats in an aisle. So I'm like, oh. So number one looks at me and goes, I wanted the window seat, but I guess that's not gonna happen this ride. She goes, so then it ended up being me, number one, and number three, and the other one sat on the other side. And that was because number three was like, no, I'll sit next to number one that way. Like, yeah, she. She kind of picked up on it. So then number one sat with me on a lot of rides. And then this particular ride. Yeah, we said she does old parent trap comment. I say, no, mind you, at lunch, she goes, number four assigned everyone seating. So I'm like, okay. That was the first comment of, like, I think she's trying to paratrap us. So I'm like, whatever. That's the whole no one got plastic wear situation. And so then number one texts me a little bit later, and she's like, I was with him the whole time. Never heard number four talk about science eating that only shit. So I'm like, whatever, dude. So. [00:38:00] Speaker B: So she's parent trapping. [00:38:02] Speaker A: Yeah, I think she's someone. When you look at all these instances through that lens, the. I passed out. Does he care? What's he gonna say? You know, a lot of it. Like, Honestly, like, she wanted to go to the store with me the first night to get snacks. Wait till she went to the bathroom, called an Uber, and left. Just was. And then I called her, was like, hey, is there anything you guys wanted? Uber was downstairs waiting, so I just took off. You want me come down? No, I'm already on the streets. I was in the parking lot. Yeah. I was like, no, dude's already on the street. I want to turn around. I got this. Just. And then she. She did the. I asked her when we separated to not call me no more. Couldn't stand it. My whole marriage hated it. [00:38:50] Speaker B: So she took offense for the listeners. You asked her not to call you by your first and middle name? [00:38:57] Speaker A: Yeah, thanks. We'll have to believe that. So we're at. I'm. I'm unloading everything. She goes. She goes, thanks. First, first, middle. And I'm like, just. First. She goes. So. So all these, like, little things. Now, mind you, through the lens of this is what she's trying to. Mind you. She also didn't pay for a thing. Everything number four wanted was. Ask your dad. Ask your dad. Ask your dad. I'm thinking she's dead broke. She offered to pay for something. She was. I said, I'll pay for Friday if you were. You know, that's when I get paid. Cool. Later on, she talks about tomorrow not being Friday, but Thursday buying number two's tattoo equipment stuff for her. Okay. So I thought, you have any money? We land at the last airport we get, you know, inside. Orlando airport. Mind you, they ate right before we left for the airport. Number one didn't. Number one was shopping or looking for something. She just wasn't hungry. And so then at the airport, she goes to get something to eat. Well, then she. Mind you, Number one paid for two of our Starbucks orders for seven, you know, six people. You know, I mean, like, food and stuff. Yeah. So like, she's like, hey, it's the least I can do. Big country. No, not at all. Shows kind of what. What kind of character she is. Soon as we get to that airport, she sees number one eating. She's like, oh, girls, are you girls hungry? Like, almost like she's got herself food. No one else, like, might. Everyone else is hungry. And I'm like, you guys just ate. We just left lunch to come here. You just ate all the girls? Like, no, we're not hungry. So I'm like, okay. So then she's like, oh, you want a cake pop number four? I'll go get you a cake pop oh, you got money? Hey, I'll take a large nitro. Cold brew with topping. You know what? I might not drink it all. I might just want to sip. You know what I mean? So she, you know, then I dropped it. [00:40:59] Speaker B: Can you give me another one? [00:41:02] Speaker A: Kind of takes an order from everyone. We get on the plane, we do our thing. We're flying home. It is what it is. We're not really talking. She's crossed the aisle. We. We go. The plane lands. I'm looking at number one. We're kind of just talking or whatever. And then I'm like, all weekend they've been like, hey, where do you want to go? And they show me the map, and I'm like, I can't see that. I don't have my glasses. I can't see that. I mean, it was almost like I was Dora, you know? I mean, like, it was so repetitive that they should have just known that was gonna be my response. So we're on the plane now. Number one's, like, looking at her phone. She's text someone, we just landed. And Big country hits her phone up, like, real quick. And she's like. She looks at me like, dude, like, don't be reading her stuff. And I'm like, she even said it. And I was like, I can't see what she's writing. Like, I don't know if you realize all weekend I've been saying, I can't see without my glasses. I can't see her writing. She's like, I'm real protective. I will protect my girls. Cool. I still can't see your writing. And so she's like, from fucking what? Yeah, so she, like, kind of says her little rant, and I'm like, here's the. Here she is. I was waiting for the real you to show up all weekend, and you've arrived. Now that. Nothing. Now that you don't need any more free shit, you've arrived. I figured this was where it was going to come, and then I just shut up because I don't want to ruin the weekend. Don't want to end it on that. So I'm like, hey, I'm nice to her again. Hey, let me get that bag. Don't worry about it. It's number four bag. So I'm like, let me get that bag. And yeah, dude, it was. I was so happy to be away. Like, I had a great time with my kids. I had to carry number four around almost all weekend on my shoulders. That was killer at times. But for the most part, I Had a great time, dude. I had such an awesome time with my kids. And they were so grateful. Like all weekend was just like, dude, thanks so much. Like, you did it right, you know? Thank you. Thank you, Big country twice. Twice. Like, girl, you just had a whole weekend for free with your kids and your character only allows you to say thank you like twice. Not that I need a thank you. It's not why I did it, but it was very evident when you hear it from everybody else that like, wow, this person that has nothing owed to her. She's not my child, she's not under my care, is receiving everything, you know, that they are receiving. I didn't make her pay for all meals. It was like disgusting. That's what I say. [00:43:34] Speaker B: Yeah, that is. That's grody. [00:43:39] Speaker A: You know, the shitty part is Disney World's hard drinks, dude. I drank five in a row. Got no buzz. Really? [00:43:49] Speaker B: Yeah, that's watered down and it probably cost $17. [00:43:54] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:43:56] Speaker B: Man. Can you drink like everywhere there or is it just okay? [00:44:02] Speaker A: Yeah. And I got the meal plan, which I thought was only like to the hotels. Like you eat at the hotel restaurants, a meal and. But every park has two or three of these like quick access places where you go in and I think it was like 65 bucks a day for each person, but like their drinks are at least 15. And each meal comes with a drink. No matter if you want liquor or soda, you go to like the churro stands and get churros for as one of your snacks. You get four snacks a day? Yeah, like two meals a day, breakfast and dinner and then snacks and free drinks. So like you honestly, for 60 bucks, I mean, you have to worry about spending a ton of money. The only place I spent a shit ton was at like that. Be our guest. Yeah. Yeah. [00:44:49] Speaker B: It's not too bad. [00:44:52] Speaker A: I don't think it's bad at all, dude. Yeah. Favorite ride in this order was Guardians of the Galaxy, which is located in Epcot. The Tron or the. The rock and roll roller coaster with Aerosmith. That's located Hollywood Studios. And then Tron and Everest expedition were really cool ones. [00:45:18] Speaker B: What's Everest Expedition? [00:45:21] Speaker A: Dude, it's like a souped up mad Matterhorn. Okay, so instead of like a yeti or instead of an abominable snowman, it's a huge ass yeti that like you see in a dark cave. [00:45:35] Speaker B: Nice. [00:45:37] Speaker A: But he's like tearing up the tracks. So there's broken tracks at certain places and that's cool. You don't see him like the Matterhorn. You see, like, electrical flashing, and you see him, like, above you. It's, like, quick. But it was just a cool ride, you know, some loops in the dark and, like, that. [00:45:56] Speaker B: That's cool. Last time I was at Disneyland. [00:46:04] Speaker A: I. [00:46:04] Speaker B: Didn'T realize that, like, as I've gotten older. Older, my ability to be, like, on a moving thing is gone. Like, the minute I'm out of control of something, I'm. I'm out. I'm tense. I'm, like, gripping the armrests, you know, like. And so the first thing we decided to go on was Star Tours, which I think is, like, the Guardians of the Galaxy thing, where you're just, like, in a room in a seat, and the seat just moves with the screen, right? [00:46:33] Speaker A: No, this. So that is the Guardian Galaxy at Disneyland. Guardian of the Galaxy is an actual, like, roller coaster that goes. You're. You're. You know, it's got the bar on your lap, but, like, you go. You. You start out, you're facing forward, and then you turn sideways to watch. Like, whoever we're fighting kind of passes on a big screen, and they're talking, and then you just. You're facing backwards, and you go through a loop, and then you come out, like, you just start. It takes off around all these tracks, and you're just moving slowly. Like. Like, your seat is swiveling slowly. It's not moving fast. Like, it Six Flags. Then you, like, circle the moon. That's cool as hell because the room is pitch black. And then, like, you circle moon circle on Earth. And. Yeah, it's kind of like the ride, but it was just cool because it was. You weren't expecting it, you know? Yeah. Yeah. I noticed they're doing a lot of cool rides. They're all in the dark, so you can't see where you're going. Yeah. [00:47:32] Speaker B: That's horrifying. I. When I was a kid, I would do Soarin over California, which is just like, the seats that go up to the screen, and then that's it. And the seats move a little bit, and I would get off and just go immediately back to the back of the line and just ride it, like, three times. And I got on that as an adult, and, like, even the liftoff of the chairs, I was like, I can't. What. What's happening? [00:47:59] Speaker A: Nope. I'm out of here. [00:48:01] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, if I. If I wasn't with a group of friends, I would have bailed for sure. I couldn't do anything. I just. I just ended up waiting in line with people and then just walking across the ride when it was our turn. [00:48:12] Speaker A: So you wouldn't be any fun in Six Flags? [00:48:15] Speaker B: Oh, no, no. Hell, I couldn't even go. Like, I couldn't even go and just be around for the day because it would be such a bummer for everyone else. [00:48:26] Speaker A: Wow. I was going to invite you to. [00:48:28] Speaker B: Six Flags, but no, no, you don't want that. [00:48:31] Speaker A: That's how. That's how J.J. was. J.J. would have panic attacks in line. [00:48:38] Speaker B: Yeah, it's. It's not like a panic attack. I'm mentally fine. I just. Physically, my stomach starts to turn the set. It's almost like. Like I don't feel secure, you know, because, like, in the. Like, soaring over California is the best example because it's such a nothing ride. [00:48:59] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:48:59] Speaker B: All that happens is your seats kind of go up, like a ski slope kind of thing or a ski lift up to a screen. That's all that happens. And. But, like, it's just one little belt around your waist and you're just hanging off, like, this tiny little seat. And I just. As a kid, I just never thought about it. And as an adult, I was like, holy shit, holy shit, holy shit. I don't know. I don't know what happened. [00:49:30] Speaker A: Number four kept doing this thing where she fake passed out. Like, she'd be next to you. Huh? [00:49:38] Speaker B: Is she a ham, dude? [00:49:41] Speaker A: I don't know. She'd be sitting next to me, and all of a sudden she'd be like. But you look at her and she, like, smile. And then she'd be like, oh, I passed out. And I'm like, yeah, you sure did, man. That's crazy. [00:49:51] Speaker B: That was nuts. [00:49:53] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:49:53] Speaker B: You and your mom. [00:49:55] Speaker A: Yeah. You missed the best part of the ride. What happened? Oh, man, I wish I would have saw it. I passed out. Can we go on it again? Sure, let's wait another 45 minutes, you know? [00:50:04] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh. Yeah. That said. Does she. Is she the kind of person who's gonna clap when the plane lands? [00:50:12] Speaker A: No, but she is. She does, like the. The thrill. She does like the ride. And I love that about it. I love that she's not, like, it is a killjoy to have someone like you in a group. Oh, yeah. [00:50:24] Speaker B: Oh, for sure. [00:50:25] Speaker A: Even as a kid. Worse as a kid, because the adult that wanted to go on has to, like, take turn, like, yeah, I'll get the next ride. Yeah. Yeah. [00:50:33] Speaker B: No, as. As an adult, I could just walk across the seats and just go have a cigarette and wait for everyone. Then, you know, everyone's Everyone feels bad, like, they're leaving me out, and I'm just like, please, please enjoy your day. Like, I'm doing what I want to do. [00:50:52] Speaker A: Yeah, I just wanted the 11. I just wanted the steps. I just wanted the steps today. That was it. [00:50:58] Speaker B: No, I had to. I had to be straight up. You know, the funniest thing was we went on Pirates, and that's a tiny little drop at the end. I'm sitting next to my friend who's seven months pregnant. She's fine on this little ride. I literally grabbed her knee and was, like, holding onto it, like, I was falling out of the ride. And. And I was just like, guys, I didn't expect this to happen either. Like, I'm sorry. Like, I can't go on any more rides. And also, I don't fit on anything. That's also a bummer, really. Like, my knees will hit the seat in front of me to the point where I can't really sit, so I have to spread my legs out just to even fit in the seat. And so that adds a whole other dimension to. [00:51:50] Speaker A: What about. Okay, so what about the like. Like, rapid rides? Like, you're in a raft with, like, eight other people. [00:51:59] Speaker B: I loved it as a kid. I didn't try that as an adult, but I always felt like that would probably be better just because we're on something that's definitely not going to tip over. Like, I'm strapped. Like, I feel like mentally I should be fine with that, but then if I go down one of those hills, I might not feel that way. You know, it's not. It's not a mental thing. It's fully physical, you know, I'm not panicking at all. Like, mentally. [00:52:27] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. You know, JJ would panic. Like, mentally, he would just panic. [00:52:32] Speaker B: Yeah, that's gay. [00:52:34] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. That's gayly established what gay is. [00:52:44] Speaker B: Yeah. My dog. [00:52:45] Speaker A: That was cool. I was. I was way cool in line. I just didn't want to get on the damn ride. [00:52:49] Speaker B: My shit was straight as hell, dude. I. [00:52:55] Speaker A: Yeah, she wanted me in the front on, like, every ride. So every ride we could. We requested it. [00:53:01] Speaker B: Nice. So she had a great time. That's what it was really all about. [00:53:07] Speaker A: Yeah, that was it, man. [00:53:10] Speaker B: So what was the resolution on number one? She came around. She stopped being. [00:53:16] Speaker A: We just asked her to play Uno. We were like, hey, you want to come back play Uno? Like, don't worry about tonight or today. Like, let's just enjoy the night. [00:53:24] Speaker B: And then we were fine from that point on. [00:53:26] Speaker A: Yeah. She came Back, we played dictionary instead. And that was cool because you get to see an element of, like, number, number four, you know, where she's engaging with adults in a game where, you know, we're not like, hey, you get easy words, and we get hard words. It's like, no, no, no, no. Figure it out, you know? Yeah, figure that out. I'm not losing, you know? So it was cute to see her kind of, like, process things and be like, shoot, I don't know how to do this. But, you know, right here, look at me. Look at me, you know, and you're just like, that's cool, dude. Like, you see a different element of her. But it was cool to make memories with. With my girls. I think just going forward, the memories are just gonna be like, me and my girls, you know? Yeah. Oh. So here was the climax. This is what I forgot. All right. Last day again, before we go to the airport, we go get something. This is the lunch that she thought maybe didn't hold everybody over for, you know, an hour till the airport, where she was like, anyway, I'm gonna go get girls. Are you hungry? Like, it was supposed to be, like, a side. It's, you know. So I was like, oh, my gosh. We. You guys just ate. And then so I get the food again. I'm not eating. I'm not hungry. I don't want to eat. Like, that's all. Not in the mood. Just not hungry. They all order food. Some of it's not covered because they're ordering, like, stuff that's on the quick access menu, or we're out of tokens for that day, whatever for the snack. I don't know. So I'm like, cool. I pay for it. They call the number. I tell them, go get a table. I don't need you guys up here at the line with me. I don't need four people. Place your order. Go get a table. Place your order. Follow the person getting table. Place your order. Get, you know, get the fuck out of here. You know? You know who that one was. And so. So they go left. The food comes up. I go. I walk around the inside of the restaurant. Not there. I walk out the outside of the restaurant, look around. I don't see them, but I see an empty table with six seats. So I go sit down, text the group sitting at a table, look for you guys. Come find me. Yeah, it's your food. Guys get and walk around. Number three comes over, shows me where the table is. I go over there, and I'm kind of venting number three, you know, I said, dude, this is just getting old, that I. I get the meals, I carry them, and then nobody could tell me where anything is. They just want to kind of dip out. I was like, like, the condiments and plastic were yesterday. So she's like, just. You know, just. We're almost done. No, you're right. I sit down, the food. Big country's like, are you okay? And I'm like, yeah, I'm fine, dude. I'm fine. And I walk off to go find number one, who's in a store looking at pins. So I go talk to her, and I'm like, oh, dude. Like, I'm so annoyed. Like, this bitch is so entitled, you know? Like, just like, yesterday, not getting the plastic wear. Like, I'm supposed to get the food, bring it to the table, and then go get all the stuff for people to eat. Like, you can't do anything. And I go, she's just so entitled. I look over, and there's big country like that. And she's like. Like she was gonna butt in. First of all, you deserve that. Try and do your little sneak attack, you know? I mean, come up to where we see you and say, excuse me. Don't come up from behind. Try and whisper something in my ear. Even if it. Even if I wasn't talking. What you gonna do? Hey, you got a minute? Oh, you just. Just say it. Number one, right here. Just, you know, come up in the middle, say, hey, you got a minute? Try and do, like, a little. Oh, beer bet. No, no. So she hears. Here's the entitled part. Goes walking off. I'm like, whoa. Didn't expect that. [00:57:05] Speaker B: That. [00:57:07] Speaker A: Yeah. So then, like, I go back to the table. Number one, Number three is gone. She's at a table somewhere by herself. She just needed some air. And I'm thinking, like, big country had to come back to start talking some shit. I can't. I can't prove she didn't, but can't prove she did. And so then I, like, call number three. And I'm like, dude, what's going on? She's like, I just want. I just need a breath. I shouldn't get away. Like, I don't care to hear you talk about mom. I don't care. Mom here to hear mom talk about you. I just. I don't want to. It's hypocritical. And I was like, no, you're right. I received that. I shouldn't. I shouldn't have said anything to you. You know, that's my Fault won't happen again. So I go up to big country. I said, hey, look, it was my bad. Shouldn't have done that. You know, like it's, it's. I should. I was wrong. Just gonna leave it at that. Give her like a little church hug, like we're cool. And then that's when we head to the airport. But yeah, that kind of like. I don't know, man. I'll never do a trip with her again though. Yeah, no, I did my part. I did my part. [00:58:15] Speaker B: What was the thing you were texting me about where she started insulting you on the plane ride back? [00:58:22] Speaker A: Dude, that's when like she hit the phone out of number two's, like from me reading it. And she is like, I'll protect my girls. Like, you know, like, I know you won't. Kind of referring back to number one type. And I'm like, dude, honestly, dude, I was like, here you are. I was waiting for this person to show up. Like, yeah, there's your true colors. Now that nothing. Now that you know you don't need anything for free for the. That's. I get it. That's cool. We're good. And I just ignored it. [00:58:51] Speaker B: Nice. You stayed pretty zen the whole trip. [00:58:56] Speaker A: There's a bigger purpose. There's a greater purpose, dude, for the kids trick. Love them kids. You know, it's for the kids. But yes, dude, like, I wasn't going to let her. I wasn't going to let her make me be the bad guy. Cuz I could have been. Yeah, I could have been like, dude, you annoy me. Dude, I could have I. So many opportunities. So many. [00:59:20] Speaker B: How. How's your lady feeling about everything? [00:59:27] Speaker A: Oh, she's good, actually. There was no like, quiet treatment. There was no like withdrawness. You know, we were excited to sweet to see each other. I went home empty my bag, repacked it, came over here, been hanging out, you know, made dinner tonight. Just kind of talked about our day and I was writing my book. She was talking to her son for a little bit and then had the podcast. So just went and got ready for that. But she's good, she's good. Yeah, we're probably gonna spend the weekend here. You know, I get number four tomorrow. She wants to come here, so probably just spend the week in here. Go to topgolf. Cool. Swing. Swing some clubs. [01:00:17] Speaker B: And number number four is like, well, parent trap didn't work out. Plan B. I'm getting with the new girlfriend, getting in good with the new mom. [01:00:32] Speaker A: Yeah. So. But it's cool Because I asked her. I said. I said we were getting on the tram. I said, hey, let's do something this week. Like, what do you want to do? She's like, I want to go to Urban Air. I'm like, don't you want to go somewhere, like, see a baseball game or something? She's like, let's go to Nurse Jackie's or let's go to Miami's. And I was like, all right, we'll go to Miami's. That's cool. I just called Miami and was like, hey, up for company this weekend? She's like, yeah, like, cool. Me and. Me and number four are going to stay there this weekend. Nice. [01:01:04] Speaker B: Nice, man. So no. No bad feelings about the trip? No misgivings? [01:01:12] Speaker A: No. I called her every. I called. I called Miami every night. Just kind of vented about my day. And, you know, it was fun. Because, like, these are the fun moments. I'm boisterous, very boisterous. So, like, Miami trips on me because I was telling her about my days, and I'm like, oh, yeah. Like the. There's a lot of people on those little, like, carts around here, you know? So, like, anytime I saw someone on those little scooters that would get up, because, again, like, these scooters are everywhere. Constant beeping all day long. [01:01:44] Speaker B: Beep, beep, beep. [01:01:46] Speaker A: Somebody backing up from somewhere, coming from construction. I was trying to escape that. Yeah. Because that's all I hear all day. And so I was like, oh, my God. Gosh, I hear that all frickin day. Like, I thought. I thought this was the getaway. And anytime you go on a bus ride, if they're on it, well, they get on first. Guys gotta lower the bus, lower the ramp. They get on. He's gotta buckle them in. Raise the ramp, raise the bus. Depending on how many there are, this could take a minute. So we get there, and I walked by some Italian dudes, and their accent was contagious, you know? He was just like, nah, man, I don't want to go to. Like, I forget what the name, but he was like, I don't want to go to Presci Pressini's or some shit. And he was like, them, man, I want to go to fucking Prestige. And I'm like, all these guys. I like these guys over here. [01:02:34] Speaker B: So then I'm like, guys over here? [01:02:37] Speaker A: Yeah. So now that's my voice. Like, as I'm saying, lie to the kids, you know? [01:02:41] Speaker B: I'm like, identity. [01:02:45] Speaker A: Yeah. So I see these three women in strollers. They're all family related. It's daughter. Mother and grandmother. Daughter, you get it? She's about a good 350. She's pushing it, you know, mom, mom looks like she could walk. She just don't fucking want to. Grandma, I get it. She got a whole tank hooked up and everything. So daughter gets put on. I'm like, dude. So I'm like, these guys, I get it, I get it. Like, you could tell why these guys are on these scooters, you know what I mean? I'm like, so my daughter gets on, he gets mom on. Then I see mom get up and go to the door and wait for grandma. So I'm like, it's a miracle. It's a fucking miracle, guys. If that's not evidence as a God, I don't know what is. You know, she's walking and so like she makes her comment, you know, like it's. It's playful. So then we get on the bus and I sit next to the daughters scooter who has her like, backpack in it. She gets up from the back of the bus, which is up some steps, walks down the steps to her scooter. Like, holy shit, it's a miracle. You're walking again. And she's like, not for long. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she says, she says, not for longer. She goes walking back up to the. To the top. And I'm like, well, God bless you. And so. But that's how my weekend was. Like, I just. Anybody that was like, anybody, like, you know, some guy farted behind me. I didn't know he farted, but I had a good idea he farted. We were in. We're in a room. So I look at my kids and I said, I'm pretty sure in this voice. I'm pretty sure. One of the guys behind me farted and his girlfriend. Girl, who's a friend, I don't necessarily think she was a girlfriend. It was like, I told you, Darren, they could smell your farts. And I'm like, yes. I turn around like, dude, you farted. When we're all like canned up in a room. Like, I farted last night, but it was out in the open, bro. Like the wind's taking mine. I'm like, you just thought, this is where you got to do it. You thought, hey, let's get us all in a room and then just stand the corner and fart. And this room doesn't have any airflow. So now we're talking about it. That door opens up. We go into another room in these stupid ass Rooms people can cut. It's like when you go in the Haunted Mansion and people know the door to the actual rides on the right. So there's the last one in, but they scoot all the way to the right. Now they're in front of 20 people that they weren't in front of. So we're in the second room and this girl tries it. Big girl, big girl. She's getting her friends come in. Well, she is now in between me and number four. So I'm like, that's cool. We're not doing anything. I've seen. I've been on this ride where they're talking about where we're going. Then we gotta get out and get into another line. So that little scene ends. I simply put on my arm to block everybody. Number four this way. She comes walking. Well, the big girl thinks she's gonna push a little bit. Mmm. I don't know if you want to do that. I don't do well with fat chicks. And then my daughter's like, dad. I'm like, I'm just saying, mean fat chicks don't mix. So she gets the picture. She backs up. [01:05:59] Speaker B: It's. It's like. It's like if someone just created a person in a lab and just gave them no social awareness. [01:06:09] Speaker A: That's how I feel about these people. We had a dude in front of us who had the worst bo, but he kept lifting his arms. So I told him, whoa, whoa. I wouldn't be swinging my arms so freely like that, Jack, because you're like, you're pretty. You're pretty ripe. [01:06:23] Speaker B: You're punching. [01:06:25] Speaker A: Yeah. And he was clearly from England because the dental girl of his friend said, I'm from England. And I was like, holy, dude. Like, you guys are jacked up. But everybody kept telling me, stop, stop. And I was like, his arms smell. I'm trying to enjoy my weekend. That's. Hey, guys, I don't know why you're mad at me. Trying to enjoy my weekend. The smell from his underarms are really messing up. So he just decided to scoot away from me. But I felt bad once, cuz there was this dude. [01:06:54] Speaker B: He was big. [01:06:54] Speaker A: He was a big dude. I didn't know how the Tower of Terror happened. I didn't know the last person lines up is actually facing the screen, you know? Okay, I'm thinking this dude's gonna be in front of number number one, number four. And this dude's like six, six, six wide, but clearly not in the best of shape. That's how wide so I'm like, how about you sit over here? Because this guy is probably gonna be too big to see over. And I'm being kind of rude. Like, he's a big dude. Like, he took seven attempts to buckle his belt before I buckled it for him. [01:07:28] Speaker B: Oh my God. [01:07:30] Speaker A: Because I just sit there and I was like, he's like, I can't get my buckle. I'm like, well, I can't grab my seat belt until you get your buckle. He's trying, he's trying. I said, would you like me to do it for you? He's like, that would be great. I buckle it in. I felt bad because he was actually a ball of joy to sit next to. Like, he laughed, he was scared. He was laughing though. And I was like, dude, I'm glad you. He's like, I'm sorry. I'm like, no, I'm glad you're having a good time, dude. Like, this is good. So I did feel bad at some times, but most of the time I was, I had a righteous, righteous, righteous anger. Yeah, righteous. [01:08:03] Speaker B: Well, I'll say. My armpits don't smell a lot. If I start to sweat a lot, I'll get a little bit of a smell, but it's not terrible. I've really not worn deodorant since I left my job in July. The only time I'll put, put some on is pretty much if I'm in a situation like that where I'm like, I'm at Disney World, I'm definitely gonna smell. Let me put some on, you know, or like I'm going to see my wife's grandparents. Let me put some on just in case. But like for the most part I don't need to do it, you know, but like I still have an awareness. [01:08:45] Speaker A: But number two's arms smell too. And I told her about it. It was, it wasn't like I just pick on those. And not in my clan. No. When my clan's arms smell, I say, you're, you're, you're pretty, right? You should keep those down by your side, you know. Same thing I tell that guy, you know? [01:09:00] Speaker B: So, like, you might think I'm a monster, but I did the same thing to a 19 year old girl. [01:09:05] Speaker A: So she's 20. [01:09:08] Speaker B: 20 year old. [01:09:09] Speaker A: Still. No, she should still know, however. Okay, so one good night, we just finished the birthday dinner. It's Mickey Mouse's not so scary Halloween party. We're walking around, we're in line and I am gassy, my friend. I am gassy, gassy Like, I let it out. Nobody hears it. And my daughters are puking. You know what I mean? They're like, oh, my gosh, you serious? So now we're in line. It's got a little bit of a breeze, dude. I let one go. Two families in front of me. This kid says, it smells like diarrhea, dude. [01:09:47] Speaker B: Buddy, it feels like diarrhea. [01:09:49] Speaker A: I started laughing so hard, bro. Like, me and number three are looking at each other because she knows I'm doing this because she does it too. She's like, oh, my gosh. I know, man. I feel so much better. Like, I really, you know, and so, like, she knows how it. Like, she knows the exhilaration, the release when he goes out. Like, she's. She's feeling all the emotions with me, but she doesn't like the smell. And she's like, oh, my gosh. Like, when that kid said it smells like diarrhea, me and her were looking at each other, and we're like. We're chuckling. We're laughing so hard, but, like, we're trying to make it, not our bodies, not to show that we're just uncontrollably laughing and we're, like, trying to act like we're having a conversation, you know, it was. It was. It made my whole. The whole trip just here. That kid said, it smells like diarrhea. I was like, oh, man, it feels like it, Buddy. [01:10:40] Speaker B: It's too early to tell, buddy. We'll see. [01:10:45] Speaker A: But that is a. Praying for me. [01:10:47] Speaker B: I get back to the room in about three hours. I got a lot of trams in between now and whatever this is. Well, on Monday, I. I won't say. I'm not. I'm not gonna make myself sound tougher than I am. I'm not gonna say that I almost fought a homeless man. I will say I was preparing myself to fight a homeless man. [01:11:20] Speaker A: What happened? [01:11:21] Speaker B: Okay, so my daughter goes to this storytime thing on Monday mornings. It used to be at the library, but it got too big, so they moved it across the parking lot to City Hall. So they go to storytime. I go to the library to get some writing done while they're doing their thing. I'm sitting at the table for maybe five minutes, and I hear this breathing, this crazy breathing. And I look up, and there is a homeless. I mean, clearly a homeless guy. Like, he smells. He's disheveled, you know, he's like an old black guy. [01:12:05] Speaker A: Is there a chance that he thought you were, like, like, creating your life in. In his territory? Or something. [01:12:12] Speaker B: I think. Think something like that based on what happens later. [01:12:18] Speaker A: He. [01:12:18] Speaker B: He's passing the table, and he's making full eye contact with me, going. I'm like, dude. So I. I look away from him because I'm like, you know, if I can avoid whatever this is gonna be, that's probably better. But he's older, so I'm not. Not super worried. I could take this guy. I'm worried if he has a weapon, because that's gonna be a whole other thing. So he passes the table, and he goes to the big window, and he's looking out, and he's just staring out the window, just staring out at the street for three or four minutes. And then he walks past me again. And. And I'm like, okay, this is kind of like a monkey situation. And not because he's black. It's the thing where if you. If you make eye contact with a monkey, sometimes they take it as an aggression, and it just escalates somewhere. It doesn't need to be. So as much of a pussy as it made me feel, I was like, I'm not gonna make eye contact when he passes by. If he wants to get confrontational, then. Then I'm. I'm here for it, but I'm gonna avoid it if I can. He does the same thing, dude. He stares directly into my face and just passes my table again. He goes up to another older guy who's not homeless. He's just an older guy at the library on a Monday morning. And he's standing, looking down at his phone. Like, his phone's in his hand, and he's looking down, and his back is to this homeless guy. The homeless guy comes up around him and goes, sir, stop recording me. You don't need to record me. He's going off on this guy, and I'm like, okay, if he puts a hand on this older guy, I'm gonna get up and I'm gonna rock his. But, like, let's see where this goes. Like, it's not. He's just yelling, you know, let's wait this out. And the guy. The older guy is like, oh, yeah, sorry, sorry. And he just puts. Puts his phone away and he leaves the library. Leaves. I'm like, that. Okay, so now I know he's willing to get confrontational with people who are doing nothing, which is what he was trying to do with me. But I wouldn't engage him. So he didn't have any, you know, reason to start screaming at me. But, like, if he screams at me, I'm gonna probably get up and push him a little bit, just see what he does. Like, if he produces a weapon that I know what to do from there, I'm gonna get the out. [01:14:52] Speaker A: If he has sorry and leave. [01:14:55] Speaker B: I mean, maybe. Yeah, it. It depends. He doesn't look fast, so, like, even a knife, I might be able to get wrist control. I might be able to handle that. I don't know. Probably just smarter to leave. But if he has no weapon, let's. Let's see what he's got, you know? Like, I'm not. I'm not too worried about that. He's like. He's, like 60. So, like, you know, he's. He's big, but he's not, like, muscular, you know? So I'm like, okay, I fuck this guy up. [01:15:22] Speaker A: But so then he's like, we got this. [01:15:24] Speaker B: He. Then he goes back to his computer, and he just sits down. And so in my head, this is all that's going through my head, like, while I'm watching all this play out. [01:15:35] Speaker A: And I'm just like, is he Googling? [01:15:38] Speaker B: You know what? I didn't ever think about what's he doing on the computer. I just assumed it was crazy person. [01:15:46] Speaker A: Dude'S Googling jiu jitsu moves. [01:15:48] Speaker B: Oh, he's. He's. He's downloading the certification for his black belt. [01:15:55] Speaker A: How do you swipe at someone properly with a knife? And. [01:15:58] Speaker B: And so I. I won't. I won't tease the story. He never got back up from the computer, so nothing ever, ever happened again. But I was going through this in my head where it's like, okay, he's probably gonna get up again. And now there's no one else here for him to get confrontational with. So it's probably gonna be kind of. [01:16:18] Speaker A: Sucks for you, though, bro, because it really took away from your moment. Like, you can't fully engage in your writing when you're like, yeah, I was. [01:16:27] Speaker B: Out of it completely mentally. I was, like, physically keeping my composure because I don't want to give him any indicate. Like, crazy people are very good at picking up on if they've rattled you, and they will do so. Like, you know, you. You and I just, like, through the homeless ministry and like, various, you know, crazy people coming to church and stuff, we've dealt with a lot of, like, unhinged people, and that's one of the things you learn, is if you look kind of freaked out, they love that. That. And they will. They will play on that a lot. So, yeah, so I was just like, Getting ready. I was just like, well, you know, what do I have to do? Like, does he have to put a hand on me and then I can just beat the. Out of him? Like, you know, I'm trying to play it out. Like, all right, option A. Option B. You know, I'm like, I'm. This is the moment I've been waiting for, you know? Like, I could probably take this guy. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not too worried about this one, but. Yeah. And then. Then my wife and daughter came over to the library to look at books. So I. I met up with them on the other end of the library and was just sort of picking out books with them, but I was looking over my shoulder the whole freaking time. I was like, this guy's coming. [01:17:46] Speaker A: You like books, right? [01:17:48] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:17:48] Speaker A: You ever been to Oregon? [01:17:50] Speaker B: Yeah, when I was a kid. [01:17:53] Speaker A: Oh, dude, that bookstore in Portland. Beautiful for a book reader. [01:17:58] Speaker B: What is it? [01:18:00] Speaker A: I don't know, but it takes up, like, a whole block. And I want to say it's like six stories, but it's not like a Barnes and Noble where you go in and it's just six organized stories. It's like if you went in with a friend, it's kind of like ikea. Like, good luck finding them. You're gonna have to meet at the exit. [01:18:17] Speaker B: Is it important? Portland? [01:18:19] Speaker A: Yeah, it's in Portland. Okay. You'll see. It's like, all glass windows. Takes up, like, a whole square block. [01:18:27] Speaker B: Is it Powell's? [01:18:29] Speaker A: I don't know. Look up, look up. Images. [01:18:32] Speaker B: Yeah, that looks like a square block. [01:18:35] Speaker A: Yeah. And it's all, like, a lot of windows, a lot of wood. Yeah. [01:18:40] Speaker B: Wow, this place is beautiful. You ever been to the last bookstore in la? [01:18:45] Speaker A: No, I haven't. [01:18:46] Speaker B: That place is crazy. They, like, make. They, like, do a bunch of weird. Like, one doorway is like an archway made out of books and stuff. Like, they have, like, a lot of cool design in there. I've only been there once, but I've. [01:19:06] Speaker A: Seen it in pictures. I know what you're talking about. [01:19:08] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:19:09] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:19:09] Speaker B: But it's. It's a wild place. Yeah. So anyways, all that to say. I don't feel like it's done. I feel like I'm gonna run into this guy again, you know, because, like, if you use the computers at the library, you need the computers at the library. So, like, he's gonna be there again, and I feel like even if I hear him yell at someone again, I think I'm going to. I'm going to explore the territory a little bit and just see, because I don't like. I just. [01:19:42] Speaker A: No, nobody likes a bullet enough. [01:19:44] Speaker B: It's enough that you're yelling at people, dude. Like, you don't need to do that. But I really need to suss out if he's. If he's got a knife or something. Yeah, I really don't want to fuck with that, but just him and I. Let's do it. Let's rock. [01:20:00] Speaker A: You carry chopsticks. I mean, they're similar to a knife when you want to stab. [01:20:04] Speaker B: Yeah, well. [01:20:05] Speaker A: And it's harmless enough to say it's so I could curl up my beard when I'm reading. [01:20:11] Speaker B: Well, I mean, I've got a knife. I just don't want to be in a knife fight. [01:20:16] Speaker A: Who doesn't want to be in a knife fight at least once? I mean, you got to knock it off the bucket list. [01:20:20] Speaker B: I don't know, man. They. They tell cops, even if you've got a gun, if someone with a knife gets within 10ft of you, you are. You can't even shoot them fast enough, dude. [01:20:33] Speaker A: I don't know. Yeah, but I think that's more for distance. I think you're. Give it a shot. Give it. Just tell me. Tell me if you like it afterwards. Just give it a shot. [01:20:40] Speaker B: Yeah, try it out. I'll get the sampler pack. [01:20:48] Speaker A: I mean, if you don't like it, you always change your mind and run. You know, there's that option. [01:20:54] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:20:54] Speaker A: Every. [01:20:55] Speaker B: Every fight opportunity I've had, there has always been a very good reason to not do anything. There's always been a good reason to de. Escalate. You know, the. [01:21:08] Speaker A: I always think there's. I was talking to Miami about that tonight. I was like, I'm not someone to start a fight, but I won't shy away from it. However, if there is confrontation in a bar, most of the time. Time, you can get out of that. Like, and not that I'm afraid to fight, but, like, the last guy that came and wanted to fight me, like, I walked him through the process. Look, we're gonna fight. Cops are gonna get called. We're gonna get detained. We're gonna go to jail. Do you have a job? Okay. Do you make a lot of money at your job? Because I currently don't. So I'm gonna have court fees? You're gonna have court fees. You're probably gonna sue me. I'm probably. Who knows? But there's gonna be so much that comes with tonight. Why don't you just not, like Me, I don't fucking like you. And we go our separate ways. Yeah, he wasn't taking that for an answer. He wanted to fight. [01:21:55] Speaker B: Oh, did you fight him? [01:21:57] Speaker A: No. I had six marines that told me, go ahead and take off. [01:22:00] Speaker B: Oh, that story. That's a great story. Yeah, I love that story. [01:22:03] Speaker A: I mean, I walked him through because I was on vacation. My kids are in a hotel. [01:22:06] Speaker B: Like, yeah, it was in Big Bear. [01:22:07] Speaker A: Mom's gonna go back and say, your dad's not coming home to tonight. Or come back to the hotel night. Like, yeah, I was in Big Bear. Why would I do that? That's dumb. [01:22:15] Speaker B: Yeah, the. [01:22:17] Speaker A: Usually I try to de escalate it before it starts. If I see that you're eyeballing me, I want to go buy you a beer and talk to you. [01:22:23] Speaker B: Well, you've. You've witnessed two of my most pussy moments where I chose to de escalate because we were on a men's retreat and a missions trip. [01:22:36] Speaker A: So remind me of those again because I do remember them, but, like, I know one was over. Like, one of them is a treat. Beer? [01:22:44] Speaker B: Yes. Okay. So that's. That's part of the reason why. So. So those two, and then the most recent one before this homeless guy was on a plane. And I have never been more justified in my life to get up in someone's face and start screaming at them. But I was on a plane and we hadn't taken off yet, and I was like, I'm not leaving on this plane if I start a thing here. So I just chose to do nothing to my shame. And when I tell you that story, you're gonna agree with me that I. [01:23:14] Speaker A: Really should see that one. [01:23:16] Speaker B: I'll tell you about it. I'll tell you about it. So. So first one that comes to mind is we're in Colorado City and Chris slaps me in the face. [01:23:27] Speaker A: Face. [01:23:29] Speaker B: Now, I could have. I mean, I could have rocked Chris's. He's, you know, he's like a £90 Asian kid. I chose not to because I was being an. And I was with him bad. He was trying to sleep and I was with him while he was trying to sleep in the living room. And he turned around and clocked me. And I said, you know that. And I said, I. I think I could justifiably probably punch him back, but I was being an asshole. And we're on a missions trip and I don't need the story being how I. I punched a small Asian. [01:24:04] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:24:05] Speaker B: Yeah. So I just felt like shit. And it was the similar one with Zare on the men's retreat. I was being kind of an asshole. He was being an asshole. It didn't need to go as far as it went. So I just chose. [01:24:17] Speaker A: Wasn't his over, like, there was a. [01:24:20] Speaker B: Beer or we got beer. [01:24:22] Speaker A: We had the right beer. [01:24:23] Speaker B: We were not allowed to have beer in these rooms. On this men's retreat. This was a Christian retreat center. I got a six pack of Stone ipa. Daryl got a six pack of Bud Light. So we get to the room and nobody wants Daryl's Bud Light. Even Daryl traded me a Bud Light for one of my stuff own IPAs. Zare, who I paid to go on this men's retreat, and I drove him. He said, hey, give me one of those beers. And I said, whoa, whoa, I'm giving one to Pluto. And I invited. I invited two other guys over to have a beer in the room. So, like, these are all spoken for. Sorry, you can't. But you can have one of Daryl's. Like, Daryl's not drinking his. [01:25:12] Speaker A: And hey, I got a Bud Light right here because I just traded an. [01:25:15] Speaker B: IPA for it, basically. And he didn't like that. He wanted a Stone ipa. And so I just started joking. You know, I don't remember what I said, but I was like laughing about it. And I was just like, you know, it's my beer, dude. Like, take, you know, take it easy. And then he. I remember what he said, but I don't remember what led to it. But he got up from his bunk and he said, oh, you want to get serious? We can get serious real quick. [01:25:44] Speaker A: Yeah, and go from 0 to 100 real quick. [01:25:48] Speaker B: And that was my moment of like, okay, I'm not doing that. First of all, we're drinking in this room and we're not supposed to be. And if we fight, everyone's going to know why. So, like, I don't want to do that. My two of my bosses are on this men's retreat. They are pastors for this church. That's gonna be a fucking thing at work. I don't need a work thing to happen on this men's retreat. Third, I'm leading worship in the. In the morning. I don't need a missing tooth or a black eye or I don't need to be answering questions all morning about why I look the way I look. But all that being said, other than that, I would have loved to. To fight this guy because he's an asshole. But think about who was in the room. M was in the room. You Were in the room. Rob was in the room, Daryl was in the room. First of all, none, none of those guys are going to let us fight. Daryl might fight Zary. Like Daryl might break it up or he might get on my side and fight him too. So like, so it's just, it would have worked in my favor perfectly. And I just still said, you know, it's probably just better if we don't do this. And I. [01:27:07] Speaker A: We all would have, we all would have had that cloud placed over us. Dude. [01:27:10] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:27:11] Speaker A: Wear that sign. [01:27:12] Speaker B: It would have been a thing. It would have been a, a bad rep for all of us. Especially since we had just joined this church and there was already a stigma that like Master's plan. People are like nuts. You know, there was already that story going on. I don't know if you ever picked up on that. But there, there certainly was a stigma to us already. [01:27:34] Speaker A: So we were definitely a little rougher around the edges for sure. Yeah. [01:27:38] Speaker B: Yeah, fairly so. The more recent One was in 2022. I. This is when all the airline stuff was just. No one could get their shit together. Just everything was late, everything was wrong. It was a crazy friggin day. So I'm flying from Orange county back to Oklahoma City and there's no flight crew for this flight that's supposed to take off from Orange county. So we're just waiting. And so we end up getting on the plane. Plane, you know, like an hour past when we were supposed to get on. And I've got a connecting flight in Phoenix that I'm worried I'm not gonna make now. I. I forgot to check in. It's a Southwest flight. You have to check in to get your boarding number, which is the order that you get on the plane. So I forgot to check in. I checked in hours before the flight. I'm dead last. I'm C38. I am literally the last person in line. And one of the gate agents said, hey, I'm not sure there's a seat for you, but I'm gonna get on and see if we've got something for you. But we might not have a seat for you because you're last in line. What ends up happening is there was a flight attendant getting this flight to go home and she was in the second row, aisle seat. She just went and sat with the other flight attendants and gave me her seat. So I was last in line. But I ended up with a great fucking seat. The rest of the evening does not go that smoothly in Phoenix, but that's another story. So I'm. I'm stoked that I got. The seat behind me is like this 80 year old guy and I hear him say, ma', am, get off your goddamn phone and pay attention to your kid. And I. And so I turn around, I'm like, what's going on here? He's behind me. Across the aisle is an older woman, like a, you know, woman my age and then a little kid. So I'm thinking, I don't think the older woman's related to them at all. But it's a mom and a kid definitely. And the mom's on the phone as we're like starting to take off from the gate and we're taxiing. And she turns around to him and she's like, what? And he's like, I said get off your goddamn phone and pay attention to your kid. And she's like, I'm on the phone to my other kid. And then like, he says no. And in my head I'm like, okay, here it is. I'm gonna get unbuckled, I'm gonna go to this angle, ancient old man. I'm gonna get my face as close as I can to his face. And then I'm gonna scream at him about how you never talk to a woman like that. You don't cuss in front of a child. You know. You know, I'm just gonna use every word in my vocabulary to tear this guy down. And then, you know, it's. It's in the height of all those videos of people freaking out on airplanes and getting like duct taped seats and. And I was like, dude, I just got on this planet plane. Like, we're so late already. Like, they're not gonna take off if I cause a scene with this old man or even if I get out of my seat, that's probably going to be an issue just to begin with. And I'm like, I've got a connecting flight. I'm already late. Like, I can't do this. I can't. So I just let it go. And like, I think about that every day. And I just think the injustice that he just talked to a complete stranger, stranger that way. And nobody stood up for her. Nobody on the plane said what was right. Like, who the do you think you are to talk to a stranger that way? It's crazy. [01:31:25] Speaker A: Wow, dude, we would have had fun on the plane because there was a kid legitimately arguing with its mom, with his mom crying, screaming. People are turning around like, dude, I got headphones on. I can still hear this kid. And I'm like, same thing. Headphones. So I go, okay, that's enough. And it stops. Dad sitting right next to her with his headphones on, just watching tv like, it ain't even happening. Mom sitting there arguing with this kid. And the kids, like, you know, like, kind of kicking this, like, trying to get out of mom's control. I went down. I went down, you know, just about four or five. And Mom's just, like, arguing back, like, you can't get down, Junior. And. And so I'm like, okay, that's good. We're good. They settle down. Half hour later, they strike back up. So I'm, like, sitting there, aisle seat. I look over number two, and I say, is somebody stabbing that kid? [01:32:29] Speaker B: I know where you're going with this. [01:32:31] Speaker A: You know the bit. And that's why I love everybody else. Nobody else knows this bit. So when I say it, they're like, you really said that? I'm like, yeah, it's a bit. I'm. I stole it. I'm definitely stealing this bit. So I go, somebody's stabbing that kid. Well, can they? And like, nobody says so. Then half hour later, it starts back up. I do the okay again. Okay. Stops for a little bit. Now, mind you, on my aisle seat, like I said, I got my hands inside the. The bars, the armrest. I'm inside the armrest, you know, just kind of like this hands on chest. Just trying to, like. And people want to keep passing and hitting me with their ass or their dick, and so I'm like, ooh. So I'm like, if I get hit by another ass or dick, we're gonna have some problems. [01:33:17] Speaker B: You say this next guy comes? [01:33:20] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, just like that. Next guy comes around, hits me with his ass. Okay, Get a picture of what he looks like in my mind. I wait and I wait. Lady passes me, that's not her. That's not him. That's not him. Here he comes. He comes through. Doesn't hit me at all, but I notice that's him. So what do I do? [01:33:45] Speaker B: Trip him? [01:33:46] Speaker A: Kick his foot? Yeah, dude. I throw my foot out, kick his foot. He hits his other one. He, like, stumbles. Doesn't look back. Just keeps walking to his seat like he tripped over someone's bag. I was like. I looked at my daughter. [01:34:00] Speaker B: I was like, yeah, it's a justice thing. And I try to explain this to my wife, and she just doesn't get it. But this is what leads to all of my road rage is like, it is injust that you got away with that shit. I need to be the one to teach you a lesson right now. [01:34:22] Speaker A: You knew there wasn't enough room. And I have nobody behind me for at least 5, 6, 7. Car carlinks. But you know, there's only one between me and the car in front of me. And this is the opportunity you thought was to get in instead of just waiting for me to pass and jumping in easily, not pissing anybody off? I totally get it, man. It's a justice thing. Yeah. And I'm the justice enforcer. [01:34:45] Speaker B: Yep. And you know what? I didn't choose this job. [01:34:51] Speaker A: Look, evil prevails when good men sit silently, you know? Yep. I just refuse. You know? That's literally a good man. [01:35:00] Speaker B: Literally my thought process. And then. And then every time God just gives me an opportunity to make the world right, I have some excuse for why I can't do it that day, you know? [01:35:19] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:35:19] Speaker B: Yeah. So anyways, we'll see if I've run into this homeless guy again, and we'll see if. [01:35:25] Speaker A: Yeah, every Monday. We're gonna need updates. Yeah. Yep. [01:35:30] Speaker B: Yeah, there's a story time on Tuesdays too. I think I should suggest. Suggest that we go to that one. I think she needs another story time. [01:35:40] Speaker A: I went to story time five times this week. [01:35:43] Speaker B: Never saw this guy. [01:35:46] Speaker A: So I did let Miami know. She got me. True. You got me. It will never happen again, though. And if I wanted to. [01:35:57] Speaker B: You're gonna die. [01:35:58] Speaker A: She told me, go ahead. She told me. She told me, go ahead. Throw your full body on me. Throw your full body. [01:36:06] Speaker B: I don't want that. You're gonna break her back. [01:36:08] Speaker A: That's what I said. That's why I said. I said, little lady, darling, you don't want this. But, yeah, it's on again. And you know what I almost did tonight? Almost gave up the back again. I asked her to do something, and then I turned around and I was like, oh, this is taking too long. I turn around, she was just smiling like it was coming. If I took a second longer to turn around, it was coming. [01:36:40] Speaker B: Why would you want to live in peace when you could do this? [01:36:46] Speaker A: This is so exciting, though, bro. Yeah. So exciting. Yeah, because I feel like she can't. Like, I honestly think she can't get me if I keep doing stupid shit like giving up my back willingly. Yeah. But I honestly think she. She can't do it. [01:37:01] Speaker B: I think. Well, you've got a blank check now to give her all you've got. So I guess we'll see what happens. [01:37:10] Speaker A: We shall see. I might be calling you like. Hey, where did we say were good places to bury dead bodies? [01:37:16] Speaker B: If someone you knew broke their orbital system socket, what would you do for them? Ask him for a friend. [01:37:29] Speaker A: Welcome, everybody, to an emergency episode of Pseudonyms. Hey, I need to know. Please call in. [01:37:41] Speaker B: Oh, boy. [01:37:44] Speaker A: All right. Well, my headphones actually just start. Started to die. [01:37:46] Speaker B: Yeah, mine too. That's crazy. I just got the little chime. They're going, me, too. [01:37:51] Speaker A: Mine said, charge me. Wow. [01:37:53] Speaker B: All right, I guess that's it. So we just. We did a rehash of the Disney World trip and potential fight with a homeless man. I think we got it all. [01:38:05] Speaker A: We did, man. We'll talk to number one about next with next week's topic. [01:38:11] Speaker B: Okay, sounds good. And I was just joking about docking your pay. You're still gonna get paid exactly what you paid before. It's all theater. It's all the joke. Cause I love. All right, this has been Pseudonyms. Have a great week, everybody. [01:38:36] Speaker A: Love you, man. [01:38:37] Speaker B: Later.