021: A Sock Full of Oranges

[00:00:00] Speaker A: All right, do you want to hear about the tornado warning, or do you want to hear about why I wasn't set up tonight? [00:00:05] Speaker B: Who are they? Two different stories. Yeah, tell me both. [00:00:13] Speaker A: Well, I wasn't set up because when you texted me, I was like, no way this guy's showing up. I was like, I'm not even gonna waste my time getting set up tonight. It's 9:58, and he hasn't texted. There's no way it's happening. And then 10:15 rolled around. I'm like, I'm going to bed in 10 minutes. And then you texted me at 10:15, and here we are. [00:00:38] Speaker B: Right on. Yeah. Sorry about that, man. Like. [00:00:41] Speaker A: No, no, no, it's no problem. [00:00:43] Speaker B: Close my eyes and. Man, I went to a beautiful place. [00:00:49] Speaker A: Yeah, man. [00:00:49] Speaker B: Speaking of that, I wrote a poem on dreams. [00:00:53] Speaker A: Oh, all right. I want to hear it. [00:00:55] Speaker B: Do you really? [00:00:56] Speaker A: I do. I do. And I do. I do want to say that I am just the last person you need to worry about in a situation like this. I don't ever want someone to feel bad about falling asleep or missing a call or something. [00:01:14] Speaker B: Oh, dude. I felt horrible, bro. [00:01:16] Speaker A: I was like, dude, no, you don't. You're not capable of that. [00:01:22] Speaker B: It's pretty messed up, bro. All right, I'm actually. I have to read it from my phone because I'll give you the inspiration behind. The inspiration behind it was Boston. I had a dream about her Shout out Boston. You know what I'm saying? That's the Boston hat tonight. And then the other part of it was. You want to know? The other part of it was, of course I'll show you the other part of it. The other part of it was this. [00:01:58] Speaker A: You better not show me your dick. [00:02:11] Speaker B: That was the other part. I heard that song, and I was like, oh, all right. So I rarely remember my dreams. I rarely remember my dreams. But as of late, I do. I often doubt I dream until I see you. You drift into view like a breath in the breeze and the world holds its heart, all turmoil at ease. In dreams I live as I wish I could where every touch is deeply understood. I take in each second your hand in mine. In moonlit silence, the world feels fine. You arrive not with thunder, but with a hush, turning time still the world into a blush. You enter my dreams like you entered my life with no grand arrival, just an end to strife. There in that space between shadow and light. You walk beside me through the slumber of night. You're near me in ways I can't quite define. Sometimes As a friend, sometimes wholly mine. Sometimes a smile, sometimes a vow. Each version of you feels more real somehow. Sometimes you're just a friend soft and near. Other times the one I hold most dear. A friend in the dusk or a bright and white light. A flicker of joy in the folds of the night. We speak of nothing and everything at once. Of stars, of seasons, of long lost wants. You laugh and my heart forgets its scars. Your gaze is older than the farthest stars. We dance where no one sees or knows. Where time forgets how fast it goes. For too long sleep was silent, void of grace. Until dreams grew bold enough to wear your face. I seldom recall what my dreaming eyes see. But lately my nights belong to you and me. I wonder if dreaming is real at all. Until in the hush of sleep I hear your call. I don't often linger in dreams though I try. For there love is simple and time passes by. But morning comes like a distant shore. And I lose you again like the night before. As morning arrives, the dream slips away. A whisper of warmth that you won't ever stay. I'm sorry. A whisper of warmth. Warmth that won't ever stay. You vanish with dawn like dew from the skin. Yet the ache of your absence seeps deep within. Each night I fall asleep with a quiet delight. Hoping the stars will guide you tonight. For dreams have become the place we meet. Where love is whole and time is sweet. So if this is the only way I can have you near, I'll close my eyes and wait right here. For in that realm where shadows fall true. I live the life where I love you so. I'll sleep with hope and surrender once more to find you again on that quiet dream shore. [00:05:03] Speaker A: Damn. [00:05:05] Speaker B: Thanks, man. [00:05:09] Speaker A: And this guy has gotten ladies Hot in the box since 1990. Now, that's really good. And you know what I love about a poem that not enough poems do correctly is syllabic structure. [00:05:35] Speaker B: You. [00:05:36] Speaker A: You didn't waste a syllable. There weren't any extra bullshit ones. It was perfect. [00:05:44] Speaker B: I appreciate that. You know, sometimes to get, like, if I'm writing a song or something, I just kind of make syllabic noises. So, like, they're not words. It's just I got to figure out how many syllables I need to fill in to make that sound correct. [00:06:02] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:06:02] Speaker B: You know? [00:06:03] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:06:03] Speaker B: But speaking of poetry, kind of what sparked that bug, I guess, was Trevor tw. [00:06:14] Speaker A: Oh, yeah? Yeah. [00:06:18] Speaker B: He posted something on Instagram the other day of, like, his walk with Christ or something like that. And I was like, this guy? [00:06:26] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:06:26] Speaker B: He's like, You. He looks the part, you know? I mean, like, got the mustache, you know, I see you both wearing a vest, you know? [00:06:34] Speaker A: Yeah, he's definitely got the. The greatest facial hair. [00:06:39] Speaker B: He does. [00:06:40] Speaker A: I think. Anyone we know? I mean, like, B has a good beard, but it's not kempt, you know? [00:06:49] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. You know, I used to tear be apart when I'd look at him, you know? Like, he wouldn't know. Like, as he's talking, I would just kind of. Like, my eyes would just, like, look at the canvas of his skin. [00:07:01] Speaker A: Blackheads. [00:07:02] Speaker B: Oh, my God. That's exactly where I was going, dude. [00:07:07] Speaker A: His nose is riddled with blackheads heads. [00:07:10] Speaker B: He had one on the left side of his eye that I would just look at. I'm like, dude, like, everything in me was like, let me get that bad boy, dude. Like, that thing is. Is a black bro. [00:07:22] Speaker A: Like, let me get a paper clip and make the. The most viral YouTube video you've ever seen. No, that poem was really good. Is. Will she be hearing it for the first time on this podcast? [00:07:38] Speaker B: Hearing it? Yes. I actually wrote it on paper and mailed it to her today. [00:07:43] Speaker A: Wow. She's not married, right? [00:07:45] Speaker B: Of course she is, dude. That's why we're not together. Holy shit. That's why we're not together, man. Here's the thing. Her husband looks just like me. She's like, I married a guy that looked like you after you left. I'm like, so that's what our kid would look like. Is that my kid? It's not my kid. [00:08:11] Speaker A: There's no possibility that it's your kid? [00:08:14] Speaker B: No, no. She wouldn't let me even get close to knocking her up. I tried Last. Last time we were together, I was like, let me get you pregnant. No. [00:08:25] Speaker A: In that exact tone. [00:08:28] Speaker B: So what happened with the tornado. [00:08:33] Speaker A: Buddy? [00:08:33] Speaker B: What am I hearing, bro? What is that? Is that a bird or. [00:08:37] Speaker A: Oh, you're hearing that? [00:08:38] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:08:39] Speaker A: I thought that was just in my headphone. [00:08:41] Speaker B: Oh. Oh, I'm glad you said headphone. I thought for a second you were going to say in my head. [00:08:49] Speaker A: Are you still hearing it? [00:08:52] Speaker B: Yeah, I hear it now. Yeah. Nope, no more. [00:09:00] Speaker A: I don't know what that was. Okay, so for the uninitiated, I might not be telling you anything you don't know, but I'll run through it real quick. Tornado season in Tornado Alley here is April through June. However, everyone knows May is really the big month. Like, everything typically happens in May. April's a little early June. I've never seen anything happen, and I've been here five years. So June 1st rolled around, and way too many times I said the words, oh, dude, it's over. Like, tornado season's basically over. We got out of May without a single warning, without any sirens going off. Nothing. Like, we're good fucking. I had no idea that there was even a risk that day. It was. It was Tuesday. Was that yesterday? It was yesterday, yeah. So Tuesday, June 2, June 3. Rain starts coming down when I'm leaving work, and I'm like, okay. So I'm looking at the forecast. Pretty big thunderstorm, but tornado risk is really low, so I'm not thinking much of it at all. I go to Lowe's, and then I get a text from my wife saying, hey, I got a Walmart order and a Target order that needs to be picked up. But I didn't want to take the baby out in the thunderstorm. I was like, okay, so I'll go get this Walmart order. I'm sitting in the Walmart parking lot, dude. Just waves of rain, like, some of the heaviest rain I've ever seen. It would just last, like, five minutes. Stop. Keep going. So I pull out of Walmart. I'm heading toward Target, which is like less than a quarter mile from my house. So I'm heading, like, toward my house and Target, and I just see this cloud in the sky. Dude, that look, it looked like an hourglass. Like it was coming down, like, into a funnel. It looked like. But like, nothing on the ground or anything. It's just shaped that way. Darkest cloud I've ever seen in person. It was like the scariest looking thing. But I got on Twitter, so the National Weather Service. Twitter is like, a really good spot to go because they're doing live updates of everything going on in the area. So they say, tornado warning for Choctaw. Now, choctaw is like 30 minutes east, so. And. And it's heading toward east. Like, the wind's blowing east. So I'm like, all right, nothing's going on here. We're. We're good. I pull into Target, but I turn the News on on YouTube because I'm still thinking, like, I should. I should be aware of what's going on, but I'm not thinking I'm in any danger. The only thing I hear on YouTube is the newscaster say, these clouds are getting so low, and, like, this is happening. This is happening. I think there's going to be a tornado touching down, like, any second. So, like, if you're outside, get inside something. Something's going to happen. And then it's no sooner does he say that the rain starts coming down so bad I can't even hear my phone. Like, the phone's in the car with me. I can't hear it at full volume because the rain is so loud. So I pull out a Target. I'm like this. I'm going home. I. I cross the intersection. Traffic stops. Traffic is just dead stop on this two lane highway. Yeah, yeah. I can't see five feet in front of me because the rain so bad. [00:12:41] Speaker B: I thought it was because you were crossing the intersection. I was like, riley, so everybody should stop for my man, you know? [00:12:47] Speaker A: No, no, no, no, no. So I cross the intersection and then once I get across the intersection, everything just stops. And I'm thinking like, dude, I like, Aldi is right there. I think I should just pull into Aldi and go into the store and just wait this out because I have no idea what's happening. But then I'm like, you know what? I'm so close to home, I should at least die, like, trying to get back to my wife. Like, I shouldn't just leave my wife hanging up to dry, right? So traffic picks up. As soon as I'm turning into my neighborhood, the rain stops. So I'm like, okay, work, it's passed, we're cool. And then I'm like getting close to the house and the sirens go off and I'm like, shit, dude, I need to get inside right now. So my wife is coming outside with the trash, right? As I'm pulling up, I see her, hear the sirens, realize that the sirens are going off. She drops the trash bag and runs back inside, leaves me outside. And then just as I'm getting into the house, her and the baby are going into the closet. So we've, we've already decided, like, in the event of an emergency, you grab the baby, I grab the cats. Everyone's got their job. We don't step on each other's toes. Like, you know, we're, we're a well oiled machine. So I grab the cats, I throw them in their crate, and I put the crate in the closet. That's our, that's our procedure bunker. And then I pull up, I pull up the news and. And then like, I can see the shape of like the tornado warning area. We are just outside the shape. So I'm like, okay, we're good. Like, we're just barely out of danger. So we're good. And then it's really cool because then, you know, you can go outside and like, Watch. Because you're not like, actually in the path of anything, but I couldn't see anything. But that was. Anyways, that's. [00:14:45] Speaker B: That was quite the story. I'm. I'm amazed at how many people go and save animals during this time. [00:14:53] Speaker A: Yeah, if. If. Like, if I heard the roof blowing off, the cats are on their own. I'm not. I'm not worried about in that case, but if I've, like, you've got an average of 12 minutes once you hear the warning. So, like, I always grab the cats just because I've got the time, you know? Yeah, yeah, we've had. We've had warnings and sirens going off and stuff, but we actually got to. [00:15:23] Speaker B: Eat just in case, like, you know, tornado does come through, and I guess an animal is a good thing to have with you. [00:15:29] Speaker A: Yeah, it's never come to that. [00:15:37] Speaker B: So do you want to be Tyler Owens or Bill Harding tonight, my man? [00:15:43] Speaker A: I don't know who either of those people are. [00:15:46] Speaker B: Well, you should, because they're tornado chasers, buddy. [00:15:50] Speaker A: Oh, really? Are you Googling that? You're Googling this? [00:15:54] Speaker B: Some of the best. They made two documentaries on them. Might have heard of them. All right. Twisters. [00:16:01] Speaker A: Oh, that's what it is. Is Bill Harding Bill Paxton's character? [00:16:07] Speaker B: It. It is. [00:16:10] Speaker A: Okay. I want to be him if I can. [00:16:12] Speaker B: All right, cool. I'll be Joe Harding if you want. That was his wife. [00:16:17] Speaker A: Hilarious. [00:16:20] Speaker B: And Joe's a dude names, too, so, you know. But, yeah, I do want to make sure you put doctor on that, because she was a doctor. [00:16:27] Speaker A: Okay. Okay. Dude, Twisters, the sequel sucked. Did you watch? [00:16:35] Speaker B: No, I did. I watched it, like, two or three times. Wanted to watch it. We watched it and was like, let's watch more natural disaster movies. And so, like, okay, we. We realized Twister was not streaming anywhere, so, like, I had to go find that shit. [00:16:57] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:16:58] Speaker B: And then that led us down the road of, like, watching the. What's that one where, like, there's a tsunami that hits? I think it's. Is it Elon McGregor or somebody like that plays the main character and he's on the island wife. Is that the one where he's on vacation with his wife and his two kids? [00:17:17] Speaker A: I think so. [00:17:18] Speaker B: And, like, the tsunami hits them, and, like, they get separated. Yeah. So then we watched that, and we just. That led us down the hills of Jaws and every shark movie you could possibly imagine outside of Sharknado. [00:17:33] Speaker A: I love sharks. [00:17:36] Speaker B: Yeah. Welcome to Synonyms, everyone. [00:17:41] Speaker A: Yeah, man. [00:17:43] Speaker B: I'm your host, Joe Harding, with my lovely Husband Bill. [00:17:48] Speaker A: Your podcast husband. All that to say we've had like tornadoes close to us that were like way more exciting, but nothing in June. [00:18:00] Speaker B: So I would love to see. [00:18:01] Speaker A: I just tornado. I've never gotten to see one. But last year there was a bad one like a mile west of us that was kind of heading toward us. So we had to take shelter. But someone in my neighborhood got a video of it out their window. So like, I know we were probably close enough to see it, but we were in the closet. We weren't. We weren't out enjoying that one. [00:18:31] Speaker B: Do you think that's a safe spot to be? Is that like something they tell you? Like, hey, get in the closet? Like, is there something about your closets out there that are built extra different from the rest of the framing in your house? [00:18:44] Speaker A: We don't have a storm shelter underground. So when you don't have. Yeah, so when you don't have a shelter, they say to get into a room that's in the middle of the house with no windows. And the only two spots in our house that meet that criteria are the hall closet and the guest room closet. So we put the cats in the guest room and we get in the hall closet. But I will tell you, man, if you look at the damage from an EF5 tornado, that levels the house down to the slab. So I mean, there is a level at which we wouldn't be protected, but an EF3, that's just gonna rip the roof off, we're gonna be okay in that. But EF4, E5, now, we're not gonna survive that. [00:19:36] Speaker B: I do like that you put the cats in a different closet. You still have that fun game of hide and seek afterwards, you know what I mean? Like, if it was to happen, you know, I mean like you still have that, like, I'm searching for something kind of thing, you know? [00:19:49] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. Negan. Negan Bark twice if you're in Milwaukee. [00:20:03] Speaker B: Hey, do you watch Palestine? What? [00:20:08] Speaker A: Palestine? Did you find that? That was hands down, hands down. The funniest bit we've done on the show ever was dumpster diving in Palestine. [00:20:24] Speaker B: So do I watch what. [00:20:27] Speaker A: Do you do you watch Walking Dead? [00:20:30] Speaker B: So I did up until like, what's. I don't know, it was. I kind of checked out once they met. Who's that Bill Clinton dude? Not. Not Bill Clinton. The president. Like the master of Funko Bill Clinton, you know, I mean like the dude with the dreads and he had like a tiger is a pet and. Ah, yeah, I watched up until, yeah, yeah, I watched up. I watched that whole season, and then the next season started, and it was like, this is just a roundabout. Like, there's peace. They made a new group. There's peace. They made a new group. There's peace. They made a new group. And so it was just kind of like, yeah, I think I'm done. I think I'm done. I mean, the best thing to me that happened was, yeah, Glenn's eyeball getting popped out and Carl's eyeball getting shot. [00:21:19] Speaker A: Yeah, those. Those were definitely good parts of the show. Those were high points. [00:21:26] Speaker B: Well, I'll. [00:21:27] Speaker A: I'll cut it out because I don't want to spoil people. But today at work, and I don't know. I don't. I don't know what possessed this person to say this. I've never watched the spin off that they did with Negan, but I've thought about watching it. So it's kind of like I'm kind of like, yeah, they did a spin off after the original show ended, which, by the way, the. The series finale was a trailer for all the spin offs was basically what it was. They didn't wrap up. They just set up everything they were gonna do with the other characters. So I don't know why this person did this, but my co worker looked me dead in the face today and said, oh, they killed Negan. And I was like, well, thanks, bud. Like, why the. Would you say that to someone? So apparently, sometime in season two of this spin off, Negan dies. [00:22:32] Speaker B: But he probably wanted to again. I feel like it's just continuous. Yeah, continuous. Like, you know, like. [00:22:40] Speaker A: And, buddy, they. They did it four or five more times after you stopped watching. That was. The whole plot of the show was like, oh, new group. We got a. You know, it's just. It just crashed and burned so, so badly. The. The tiger. Actually, the comic book writer who worked on the show, like, he was still doing the comics, he wrote the tiger because he felt like he was creatively constrained by the show, and he wanted to do something in the comics they could never do on the show. So he wrote the tiger, and then they went and did it on the show, and everyone called. Called bullshit on it immediately. [00:23:26] Speaker B: That's harsh. [00:23:28] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:23:28] Speaker B: So real quick update on the mom that I was talking to. [00:23:32] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, Crystals. Yeah, Crystal's mom. Hip hippie pagan mom. [00:23:38] Speaker B: Yeah. So we just kind of text back and forth, and she started in a bakery, so she was like, oh, I'm moving into the bakery. And she had some, like, h. VAC Needs. So part of me was like, you're just kind of in this for my construction experience. Like, let's feel, you know? And then, sure enough, the day after, she, like, figured out her. Her AC and hood and, you know, fire suppression needs. She was like, hey, like, nothing against you, but I just think I should let you know, like. Like, this isn't going to work between us, because she was. It's a vibrational thing. She was, yeah, shows this is going to work between us. It's a vibrational thing. You know, I wish you the besties. And I was like, no, that's awesome, because, like, you're not alone. I felt the same way from the very beginning. Like, we. Like, you're a cool person, but you're not my person. Like, yeah, you know, I was just trying to be nice. I was like, if you ever need a friend, like. Or, like, something, like, I'm here. But, yeah, I'm not. I can never be here as your man. Just. How did she take that life? She, like, hearted it. And that was the last we talked. [00:24:49] Speaker A: Whoa, that's passive. [00:24:53] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:24:53] Speaker A: I don't like that. [00:24:55] Speaker B: I didn't like her. So it works out. [00:24:59] Speaker A: You liked her A little. [00:25:02] Speaker B: She had a. She had. She had a good little body, but. Okay, I. I didn't like her parenting skills. I didn't like that she wasn't grounded in some sort of faith outside of, like. Like, she was talking about getting in touch with that ether, and I'm like, what? And she's talking about ketamine trips, and I'm just like, yeah, I don't know. I was like, are you trying to. Like. Like, for instance, first night we're hanging out, she's like, all right, what kind of drugs do you do? And I'm like, none. Like, zero. I don't get high. She's like, oh. Like, I do ketamine and I smoke. And I'm like, so, are you trying to get me to do a ketamine trip tonight? She's like, no, I do them solo. You know, Like, I'll freak out. And I'm like, okay, I've never done that. So it's like, well, how about I give you a couple of my pills before you go home? And I'm like, good on that as well. Don't need. Don't need to do a ketamine trip. Don't even know what it means. Sounds like something you work on. [00:25:58] Speaker A: Apparently, it's really good for ptsd, but only under a doctor's supervision. [00:26:08] Speaker B: So I will every now and then do shrooms. [00:26:12] Speaker A: Yeah, that too. [00:26:14] Speaker B: And I'm looking, I'm looking into like, the. The effects of it. And I heard that, like, if you have a strong enough psychedelic hit, it almost resets your, like, what's his name? Sean Ryan. Did that thing where, like, you have a near death experience, but it's all like, medically induced. [00:26:34] Speaker A: Mm. [00:26:35] Speaker B: And he's like, dude, that's how I quit smoking. That's how I quit, like, my depression, my habits. He's like, it. Honestly, like, you, you. It's like your brain does a dump and then like, it resets all the. The sensors inside. And so he was like, so, you know, I do. He does do like shrooms, which makes sense because a lot of people take shrooms and like, oh, like, I'm way more focused the next day and it's like, okay, like, that kind of makes sense. Yeah, but I don't know, man. I don't know. [00:27:06] Speaker A: I think, yeah, I've heard that. That shrooms, like, builds neuro pathways. Like, it. [00:27:16] Speaker B: Like, I haven't heard bad things about shrooms. [00:27:19] Speaker A: Yeah, like, most drugs, like, kill brain cells and like, damage your brain, but this actually, like, helps your brain, which is wild. [00:27:29] Speaker B: It is. I wouldn't want to do them all the time, but yes, it is wild. [00:27:33] Speaker A: And I've never done it. I probably won't ever work up the nerve because I'm terrified of a bad trip. But maybe microdose. I don't know. [00:27:45] Speaker B: Come. Dude, if you come out here, we're doing four out of five. [00:27:49] Speaker A: Nope. [00:27:51] Speaker B: You're gonna be like, hey, so what's. What's a good amount of microdose? I'll be like, yeah, half the bag. [00:27:56] Speaker A: Oh my God. I'm gonna tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna take a razor blade, I'm gonna take one mushroom, and I'm gonna cut off a tiny little sliver yout. [00:28:09] Speaker B: Won'T even feel it, dude. Like, honestly, because again, I microdose with in California and I was like, am I supposed to feel something? Like, I just feel like. Like I hit. Hit a joint real quick. Like, I didn't feel nothing. Now. Now when I. When I do it, when I macro dose, I will actually put on good music. It has to be spiritually good music. It cannot be like, you know, I've had neighbors like, oh, we put on Doja Cat. And I'm like, what the fuck? And well, their response was, I'll never listen to her again. That shit was satanic. And I'm like, yeah, see, See, I don't mess around with that shit, dude. Like, I'm gonna put on some worship music. I'm gonna lay in bed and I'm gonna let like, my mind just. Just go, you know, Like, I'm gonna go to sleep and on my way to Dream World where hopefully I meet and run into some people. [00:29:11] Speaker A: Boston. [00:29:13] Speaker B: And on the way there, it's really colorful, dude. Or I'll watch something artistically artistic that I've seen. I don't want to be surprised. I'm not going to be watching some horror movie. I'm probably going to put on Moulin Rouge. Tell you the truth. [00:29:29] Speaker A: You love Moulin Rouge. I love how much you love rouge, dude. [00:29:37] Speaker B: I wrote like a whole journal entry about it, dude. How I can relate to each individual in that movie. And I was just like, dude, like, I love the movie, man. Love the movie, man. Where's your laptop, bro? If you're sitting on the bed like that, where's your laptop? [00:29:53] Speaker A: It's to the side. [00:29:56] Speaker B: Okay. [00:29:58] Speaker A: I have a better connection on the phone, I think. [00:30:02] Speaker B: Told you, man. [00:30:04] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:30:05] Speaker B: We are doing struggles for a husband. And I thought you had a good struggle for a husband in your story about the tornado. Because you're like, hey, I'm out here financially, providing I'm absent from physically right now and emotionally because I'm at work from my family and I'm gonna, I'm gonna make my way, making my way downtown, walking. You're on your way home, and then next thing you know, it was like, hey, need you stop off and grab this. And grab this. You're like, got you, babe. Risking your life, driving through traffic you can't see in front of you. And then what happens? You get home just to be at a locked door. [00:30:46] Speaker A: Yep. To be fair, neither of us knew I was risking my life when she asked me to do that. But something tells me I almost died for those pickles. [00:30:58] Speaker B: Something tells me she did. Really? Pickles. That was it. That was probably why she was like, haha. Mexican, huh? I like pickles. Go get me pickles on your way home while this tornado forms. And then she sees you pull up. What she do? She turns around and books it inside, Locks the door behind her. [00:31:20] Speaker A: I actually have no idea what I picked up. [00:31:25] Speaker B: Babe. [00:31:31] Speaker A: I'm here, I'm here. Wait, she did leave the door unlocked. That was nice. [00:31:43] Speaker B: That was nice of her. That's very thoughtful of her, actually. As I looked into like struggles of a husband. Dude, there. There some I've experienced. Don't get Me wrong. But like, there's a lot. There's a lot of. And some of them I think are even. What's the word I'm looking for? Like, stereotypes, you know, like. Because I don't think every husband's not vulnerable, but I'm not every husband. I'm just me. And I've heard, I've heard a lot of stories of the husband being unavailable, but usually those husbands also are not opening up to me vulnerably. You know what I mean? Like, you could kind of tell with men in your, your sphere, the men that are coming out, like, coming out with like, this is what we're going through as a marriage versus the men that are like, oh yeah, you know, like that bitch wants a divorce. And you know, but he's not really talking about the, the meat and potatoes of what's going on in their marriage. So I don't know if a lot of men do struggle with that. But it does say that a lot of men suppress their emotions and have vulnerability. And that's the word they use was. It's still stigmatized, like being vulnerable. Stigmatized as like you're a. If you're being open and being honest and sensitive and to some degree, yes, I kind of agree with that. To some degree. I mean, nobody wants a spouse that comes home and cries every day. [00:33:16] Speaker A: Oh my God. They think they want that. They think they want it. They wouldn't want it if they had it. [00:33:25] Speaker B: No. You don't know the load we carry, sweetheart. [00:33:30] Speaker A: And let me know if this is crazy. Are like the less vulnerable, like less sharing men, are they carrying more? Is that part of it? Cuz like dudes about like serious stuff. I hear vulnerable guys about shit. I could figure out 90 minutes, you know? [00:33:52] Speaker B: Yeah, I think, well, that's where I think we kind of analyze self and, and like to people watch and like to kind of like analyze. Why did you do that? Like, I'm the dude on the freeway where when I pass the car and I'm like, oh, that car looked like it's gonna get over whatever lane. Mine are the lane to its right. I'm like, that car looked like it's gonna get over. When I pass him. I'm still watching him in my rearview mirror to see if I was right. Like, were they. Were they gonna get over? I like to figure out people in general. Like, people amaze me. Or I would just say amaze me. People, they intrigue me. They intrigued me. Why do you. Why did you do that? [00:34:32] Speaker A: Yeah. Have you ever read Blink by Malcolm Gladwell? [00:34:38] Speaker B: No, but I did watch Eyes Wide Shut. [00:34:44] Speaker A: We just talked about movies for another hour. It's, it's all about like gut instincts and how it's not like a natural gifting but like you build your gut instinct. So like he talked about a bunch of different professions but like art appraisers who can take one look at something and realize it's fake. And it's not that they just have this natural gift for it, it's that they've spent tens of thousands of hours looking at true art so they know a fake as soon as they see it. And so like one of the examples is like you can tell when a car is about to change lanes and you might not even realize why. But like you probably did notice that they, they looked over their shoulder or something, but you didn't notice that. You noticed that. But like that's how much you've studied people is that you're seeing things that you're not even registering on a conscious level and then your gut is telling you what's coming next. [00:35:57] Speaker B: Oh, nice, nice. I think back to your, your thing like do they really have more weight than non vulnerable dudes? I think they do, but I think it's self inflicted weight. It's almost like and this is going to get, this is going to be borderline like Black Lives Matter. But it's like I did a blog back in the early 2000s when it was titled self segregation and it was just about how black people self segregate. You know, they want like no racial lines but then they want to create FUBU for us by us. They want to have bet, they want to have, you know, bet black entertainment. They want to have, you know, Cinemax, you know, stars black and Cinemax black. And it's like if we did some shit like that, if we had like four whites by whites, if we did some shit like white entertainment television, you guys would be like crucifying us at the cross, dude. Like you guys would be like that is not cool. And so, you know, and I was like, I, you know, I had to explain because a white woman ended up responding to that blog. I didn't, she must have stumbled upon in some way and was like, you know, I have a black husband and I don't think this is right and this. And I was like, dude, like think about it though. If we had the things that they've implemented for them, we would be persecuted. Like we would be like, they would be like a no go, but it's okay for them. Because of what they've gone through, but yet they don't want any racial lines. It's the same way for those men. Like, yeah, you do have more weight. It's because you're not processing shit. So you're carrying a shit ton of weight because you don't want to sit down and actually process your shit and feel your emotions and go through your, you know, the thought process. Okay, this made me feel this way. And you know what I mean, they're gonna let it go and move on or I'm gonna go deal with it or, you know, like, you just hold on to it and then tomorrow that's. That's got its own worries. You carry those and then you're just stacking on, dude. And then all it does is take little Betty one time to step out of line and you're just like, you know, unleashing on her. We kind of a good book bringing up books is David Goggins, Can't Hurt Me. And it's about mastering your mind and defying the odds. And he kind of goes through his life story in it, but he's giving you, I think 12, not steps, but he's giving you 12 challenges. And the first one is sit down and deal with your emotions. Sit down and. And talk about what you went through and process those things. I had a blessed night last night. One of the men from the men's group on Tuesday, one of the young men came over and I reached out to him during the week and I was like, hey, man, like, how are you doing? It was on Monday and I had some, some kind of insight on what he was going through. And I was like, how you doing? He goes, man, I was going to reach out to you. I just didn't get around to it for some reason. But, you know, it's been a rough week. And I was like, dude, why don't you come over, let's talk about it. So he's like, all right, man, I'll come over tomorrow night. I'm like, alright, cool. So he came over and basically the dude story is he used to be Mormon, left Mormonism on his mission when he read the book of Romans and was like, this ain't this ain't it. Like, what I'm doing is not. Is not the book of Romans and read in Spanish. And he's a white kid. Yeah, read it in Spanish because he had learned Spanish for his mission. So he left. And he's adopted from birth. Adopted into a Mormon family. And so like this last week, every year Something crazy happens. And so, like, a couple years ago, he met his biological father. His biological father basically was like, I want nothing to do with you. Like, peace to you. I'm out. Then the following year, same week, is when he came out of Mormonism and he got excommunicated from his adopted family. Then this last week, he met his biological grandma, and she rejected him. He was like, every time she looked at me, it was like she was like, just had so much shame on her face. Like, I represented the sin of her son. You know, the reason I was, you know, given away is because her son did not want me because I wasn't planned. And he was like, I was kind of like that mark on the family. And. And then he goes. And then after that, like, after meeting my grandma, like, two days later, my girlfriend dumps me. He's like, so I'm just going through it, and he's, like, sitting there, and, you know, I'm telling him, like, dude, you should process. You should journal. You should kind of, like, walk through it, you know? And then I was like, you know, here's the great thing. Like, you're a believer, so you definitely have, like, the Lord on your side. Like, you have the Lord in your corner. You know, he's the only solid thing. He's the only solid truth. And so, like, we started going through, and I'm like, dude, check out Paul. Like, you're. You're always upset because you converted so many people to Mormonism before you left. I was like, but Paul? Paul, like, persecuting murdering Christians? Yeah. How many times do you hear Paul, like, go into detail on that? Never. Hardly ever. Like, he just says, I'm the sinner. I'm the chief of sinners. I'm a sinner of sinners. Like, he doesn't. His. His whole thing is what God has done for him. I'm like, let me rewrite the fact that I was blind before I came to the Lord. You'll know every hard eight, like, hard moment in my life. Oh, I walked into a woman and groped her. Oh, I walked into a wall. Have you ever, you know, tried to read Braille when you just, you know, you go blind? I'm like, he didn't write all that, dude. It gives, like, one or two sentences to his blindness, and then it talks about his encounter with Christ. And so we just started talking about it, and he was like, dude, yeah, like, you're right, dude. Like, man, like, I need to start, like, just, like, really giving God. Like, and then he sat there and started going through all of the good things that Christ has done, like, in these last couple weeks, and he's just like, I need to focus on that. Like, if I didn't date my girlfriend, I wouldn't have stayed here. I wouldn't have this Christian community that I belong to. I was about to move to Seattle, and I wouldn't have this job that I'm blessed at. I wouldn't have a Christian, you know, boss. I wouldn't. He's like, dude, this is. Yeah, dude. Like, God has been good. And I don't realize every time I come out of this week that God delivers in a different way, you know? And it was a. Dude, it was a great, great time. Like, we. We sat and talked for about four hours, prayed, prayed it out, and, you know, he went on his way, but such a blessed time. But, yeah, you have to process this stuff, dude. Like, you. There is a point of vulnerability, whether with yourself or with your spouse, that you have to have. [00:42:33] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:42:34] Speaker B: Just. In my opinion. Now, do you ever feel the pressure to provide? [00:42:44] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's. In our current situation, you know, we're. We're not making enough, and, you know, we're moving back in with my parents soon. And so, you know, that's been with me quite a bit. But at the same time, it's. It's like I'm making these moves in order to provide, so it's. It's not like I'm failing in that. I'm just changing direction, you know? Like, we still got a roof. We still got food, you know, so it could be a lot worse. But, yeah, I mean, I definitely like that. That weighs on me throughout the day, for sure. [00:43:30] Speaker B: I think. I think when I got laid off, whenever I would get laid off and I had a family to provide for, like, the pressure of, like, not being able to pay the bills, I almost feel like I'm transferring that pressure to my spouse. [00:43:42] Speaker A: Mm. [00:43:43] Speaker B: If that makes sense. I almost felt like now I'm putting in the burden on you as well. [00:43:47] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:43:47] Speaker B: Because you're the one who sees all the. The finances. You're the one who sees where all the money goes, and now there's none of it. But all the bills are still coming in. [00:43:56] Speaker A: Mm. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if. You know, if they're affected in any way, if they have to give something up because there's not enough money to do it, if they. You know, all of that is, like, okay, now I've brought you in to the burden, you know, like, I couldn't I couldn't keep it at me. I couldn't hold off the dogs. You know what I mean? Like, it's kind of. It's gotten to you now. Yeah, that's hard. But you just have to keep. [00:44:26] Speaker B: Deal with that. I mean, you personally deal with that. [00:44:30] Speaker A: Framing. Framing. You know, like I. Like I said, like these, These are steps that we are taking in order for me to make more money and provide and get out of debt and do all the right things. So instead of lamenting the situation at hand, I just kind of focus on the. What I need to do today to make the future that I want. [00:44:56] Speaker B: You ever. You're thinking about offering your parents? [00:44:59] Speaker A: Killing them? [00:45:00] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:45:01] Speaker A: Oh, hell yeah. [00:45:04] Speaker B: I mean, mine would be worthless. It would just be like, oh, they're not going to call this week. But yours actually has, like, things. Yours. Yours actually have things set up where, like, you seem like you'd be pretty set if. If they passed. [00:45:19] Speaker A: I don't know the specifics and I know the houses are kind of the main asset, but as far as, like, the actual money, after I split everything with my sister, unless I kill her too. [00:45:35] Speaker B: Boom. For a small fee, all this takes takes place after. [00:45:39] Speaker A: After I. After I split it with my sister. I think our debt is paid off and there's not much left over, so. [00:45:49] Speaker B: Kind of better to have them. [00:45:52] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:45:54] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, for sure. Yeah, sure. Do you ever find your identity in your. Your job? [00:46:02] Speaker A: No, this is much. This is the first job I've ever liked, so I'm not big on where I don't really. The small talk people make about, like, you'll notice on the podcast, the only thing I talk about work related is like a funny thing that happened. [00:46:20] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:46:20] Speaker A: With like the people that I work with. I really like the people I work with, but I've never been one to like, talk about my work, you know, like, if people ask me what I do, if I don't just straight up change the subject, I'll just be like, yeah, whatever, you know, you. I don't want to bore you with that. You know what I mean? And then I'll just ask about them. I'm literally more interested in the job of whoever I'm talking to than in what I do, you know? [00:46:51] Speaker B: That's awesome. That's awesome. I have. I have friends and I think I'm guilty of it too. Like, you know, when people. When you're around. So for me, I do find somewhat my. I take pride in the fact of my position. Like, I love what I do. [00:47:04] Speaker A: I Don't. I don't want to interrupt you, but like you do a much cooler thing. You do, you do well, it's, it's encouraging so I will allow myself to do it. But you do a much cooler thing that like speaks more highly of you and your intelligence and your skill set. So I get why your job would be more of a temptation to. And not even that it's a bad thing. Like I'm not saying to make your whole identity about it, but like, I think your job is more reflective of who you are. Therefore it's like a more interesting. [00:47:40] Speaker B: I get what you're saying. Like yours is not real reflective of. Yours is not real reflective of who you are. [00:47:46] Speaker A: Yeah, I think more so now like now that I'm in like a troubleshooting, like problem solving kind of job that actually makes a difference in people. Like I help people all day long now. [00:47:57] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:47:57] Speaker A: So like I feel more of an effect of what I'm doing. I've never felt like I've had a job that makes a difference to people. So like I'm feeling better about it in, in my new position. But like, yeah, it's just, it's never been a job like yours that is like making a tangible difference in people's lives. [00:48:18] Speaker B: I'm not really making a tangible difference anybody's lives, dude. It's, it's companies and corporations lives. [00:48:24] Speaker A: But you're building things. You're building like physical structures that are, you know. [00:48:29] Speaker B: Well, I bring this up because I do have a buddy, a close friend of mine who is a appliance installer. They're high end appliances. I will say that. But like he feels inferior around other men because he just installs appliances as he says, you know, like he says it so you tell it when he says it, you know, that, oh, you're not like, you feel ashamed that or you feel embarrassed that you install appliances and you don't have like another job or another position. But like he finds so much, I think he relates so much about his identity in that, you know. [00:49:06] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. And you know what, now that you put it that way, like when I was, let's call it an administrative assistant, I was very self conscious about that job. It was very much given to me as like this is a stepping stone to a better position in the company. So like I, I went with it. I think I did it for 10 months. But like I was a receptionist and that was tough. It was tough to be a 21 year old man who was a receptionist. So like, was that A. Yeah. Yeah. So I, you know. Yeah, I, I, like, I found myself, like, making jokes about it as soon as I told someone what I did, you know, I. They'd ask what I do. Which is probably another reason why I never wanted to talk about work. But I'd be like, yeah, you know, I. I work the front desk at so and so, you know, I. Yeah, I gotta hike my skirt up every once in a while. [00:50:05] Speaker B: Be. [00:50:06] Speaker A: Be a good receptionist for the boys, you know, or something. You know, I'd make some kind of joke about it because, like, I just, I. I want to cut you there and I want to get to it before you get to it, you know? Like, I, I am also realizing the stuff is a funny thing that I do. [00:50:21] Speaker B: You know, Sometimes I hike my skirt up. I love that. All right, all right. Do you ever find that you. Do you ever find that you, like, sacrifice maybe your hobbies because you have such a responsibility, like your interest or your hobbies you sacrifice because you don't necessarily have the time with, with the job that you have and the responsibilities as a husband and father? [00:50:54] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, definitely. Cuz, like, as soon as I'm home from work, I'm on baby duty until she goes to sleep. So like, then I've got an hour or two before I go to sleep. So it's like I use my breaks at work and my lunch break and stuff to like, write and read and do the things I want to do, but there's not a lot of time for it otherwise. And I kind of just had to accept that because I was still. When my daughter was younger, I was still trying to, like, do all the things I wanted to do, and it wasn't working, you know, and. And so I kind of just had to accept that, like, it's a higher calling to be a present, dad. And, you know, it wasn't much of a sacrifice when I put it to myself that way, you know? [00:51:49] Speaker B: Yeah, you found yourself wanting to smother her with a pillow a lot less. [00:51:54] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. You know, and not. Not that I don't. Not that I do. And, And I'll do it as a joke. I'll hold it on there and, you know, she laughs, she squirms around, but I know I could do it if I wanted to, kid. Oh, I can't wait till she's old enough for me to throw her into a pool. Oh, I'm gonna take out some demons on that child when I can throw her into a pool. [00:52:21] Speaker B: Do you have a pool? [00:52:22] Speaker A: No. [00:52:24] Speaker B: Oh, dude. Do you have a community pool that you go to? [00:52:27] Speaker A: No, no. [00:52:29] Speaker B: Ah, dude, you guys start taking her to a pool. Like, my kids swim like fishes. Like, I was so proud to take my kids to community pools. And like, you see all these other like little faggoty kids, like, with their vest on and you're like, dude, you're seven, bro. And like here my two year old is just like out swimming them, bro. Like just, oh, throw it down there, dad, I'm gonna go get it. And you're like, yeah, she's two. She's two guys. She's two. [00:52:53] Speaker A: You know, you're pretending to be somebody. You're throwing your voice. She's only two. Whoa, that's great. It's true. Yeah, she's two. [00:53:05] Speaker B: That. Yeah, dude. Like, it's, it makes me feel comfortable with. There's never a worry. I've never had to worry about my kids drowning. Like, never. Like, yeah, that would be nice. And it's a comfort. It's a comfort for sure. [00:53:22] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:53:23] Speaker B: You know, like, unless we're in like wild water, but outside of that, like pool bathtub, I ain't worried about them drowning because they swim like fishes, dude. And, and that started with like us living in an apartment when my kids were young and just being like, hey, I'm putting you in. You're six months old. I'm gonna blow in your face. You're gonna hold your breath and I'm gonna let you go for a little bit. And then I just kept doing that until, you know, they got used. They knew to hold their breath underwater. And after that you just teach them the basis of swinging their arms and legs. [00:53:54] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, we're. We're talking about signing her up for swimming lessons when we get back to California. And then we're, we're gonna be taking her to your old pool here and there when we, when we have time. [00:54:10] Speaker B: My old pool? [00:54:11] Speaker A: Yeah, at. In Laguna Niguel. [00:54:16] Speaker B: Oh, there, that's right. There was a pool there. That's right. With the filled in spa. Yeah, yeah. [00:54:21] Speaker A: So stupid. [00:54:26] Speaker B: It's still your pool, bro. Still your pool. What do you think? What do you think differs from. Do you think pressure is different, are different for a man that doesn't believe in a man that does believe. And let me. For our listeners who don't know what I'm referring to. Christian father versus a non Christian father. [00:54:54] Speaker A: I think there should be. I don't think we think about eternity enough. I think that we kind of fall into the same traps and thought processes as everyone else. Throughout the day, especially when it's just day to day, you know what I mean? Like we are just paying the bills and putting food on the table and getting through the day just like everyone else is. But it shouldn't necessarily be like that. You know what I mean? Like C.S. lewis said, you've, you've never met a mere mortal. You know, like everyone you've ever interacted with is eternal and is going to live forever. And like that should change kind of how we look at the day and look at how we conduct ourselves and everything. But I don't know if it necessarily does. [00:55:53] Speaker B: No, I don't think it does. I need to start looking at like that. There's a couple homeless people I got to go apologize to. It. [00:56:00] Speaker A: Throwing apples at him at the red light. [00:56:05] Speaker B: Giving him no apples. Pick up my yogurt pack. [00:56:14] Speaker A: You're tossing a gogurt like a grenade. You're ripping the top off and throwing it at him. [00:56:22] Speaker B: I think so. For me, I think, I think there's a lot more weight to someone who does believe because not only are you doing those things, the providing the things that a father, believer or not, does, but then you have the weight of like spiritual leadership. You have the weight of walking out what you're preaching. There's not, and don't get me wrong, if you're walking in the spirit, some of this probably comes easy. It doesn't come easy to me. My flesh is very much alive and it's a constant struggle. But you know, like handling conflict biblically, you know, being able to sit down with your kids and say, hey, I know you're not interested in this because you're clearly showing me you're not interested in this. But you know, do you understand like this is, this is how we're to respond or where to act or, you know, I don't know. I think there is, is a different way. But that could be said with any faith based system. Really hard for Mormons because Mormons actually think perfection is attainable. Therefore, you know, you have that burden of being either perfect or a hypocrite in front of your children. [00:57:41] Speaker A: Yeah. And I think legalists probably have a similar. [00:57:45] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:57:46] Speaker A: Struggle. [00:57:49] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:57:49] Speaker A: When I've been asking every Christian parent I get ahold of, when do you think is the ideal time to like start going through the Bible and like doing Bible lessons and stuff with the kid? [00:58:05] Speaker B: For me, I think the younger the better. [00:58:07] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:58:07] Speaker B: Because the older they get, they've already like with, with number four, she already has her tablet time and you Know, she wants to draw. And so I'm like, hey, you want to sit down and read with me? Like, let me read you a story before bed. Or she's like, really? You know, And I'm like, come on, dude. Like, you know, she says she loves Jesus. She, she goes through all that, but when it comes time to like, wanting to hear about him, she's like, really? She doesn't want to go to, like, she sits next to me in service. She doesn't want to go to a kid's thing. And that's more or less, I think, her just being solo, but like, and I think it's also because she realizes that she could get an extra hour in of sleep, you know, you know, like, she just let me borrow your jacket. And then next thing you know, hey, service is over. Time to get up, sweetheart. So. But she, she, she'll pray with me and stuff, but she just doesn't show an interest in like, hearing about the Word. And I think if I would have started that younger, it might have given her a thirst because it's, it's something. Something that was always there versus something trying to. Something new, trying to be implemented. Implemented. [00:59:14] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, we, like, we read her like children's Bible books, But, like, she's 15 months old or 16, 18. [00:59:27] Speaker B: You don't know how old your kid is. [00:59:29] Speaker A: She's Almost, she's almost 18 months. [00:59:31] Speaker B: So add that to the list of struggles. [00:59:34] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't typically know what month it is in the year, so I'm not doing too bad. But so, like, her comprehension's like, not quite there. Like, we're definitely not having a conversation back and forth. So, like, I'm just wondering, like, at what point do I, like, bust out a Bible at the dinner table and do like a five minute thing before we finish up our meal, you know what I mean? Like, there's got to come a demarcation point where that's going to be appropriate. [01:00:08] Speaker B: And then she's going to comprehend. Yeah. Like, when she can. Which she could not regurgitate, but like, when she can actually comprehend, like, okay, like, this is what he's saying, especially if you make it applicable, you know, Like, I was working with stretch marks today. He came over. I call him actually Turd Tickler at work, but he came over. He came over because he, he's like, hey, like, I really want to be like, the student leader, if you will. And he's like, you know, I feel like they're like, like, if you're just constantly teaching and nobody Steps up, like, nobody's gonna step up. And he's like, so I kind of want to lead by example. And I'm like, dude, that's awesome. You know, like, what are your thoughts? What are you thinking? And he goes, well, you know, I'd like to lead a study, but I want to like, paint a picture with my study. And he was, you know, the picture is like, if, like, I want to be able to show the. The guys. Like, you know, he kind of walks me through his. His. His illustration. He goes, my illustration is I want three guys to come up from the group. I want one of them to hold heavy weights, and I want to ask him some pretty easy questions. After, like, he maxes, I want him to do push ups. And then I want him to hold his arms out away from his sides with 25 pound weights in them. And then I want to ask him a, like a, like three questions, easy ones, you know, and he was going, math first. And I'm like, dude, people might not be good math in general. And you're going to kind of put them on the spot that they're dumb, you know, like, so make it simple stuff like what your mom's maiden name, stuff like that, you know, like stuff they should know within seconds. And he was like, yeah, yeah. And so I'm like, well, how are you? You know, like, like, what are you gonna teach on? He's like, well, I just want to kind of do that illustration. Like, well, if you're gonna do that illustration, why don't you do Moses? Like, when. When he had to raise his arms. Yeah. And needed and needed Aaron and her to come help him. And he's like, oh, there's a story about that. And I'm like, yeah, dude, it's somewhere in Exodus. Yeah, like it's somewhere in Exodus. I was like, but he had to hold up his arms for them to win the battle. And he would take his arms whenever he, like, his arms fell. Like, like Amalek was like overpowering them. And so he was like, oh, that's perfect. So I was like, why don't you come over today and we can work on that. And I think like circling back to the point was when you're talking to your daughter to make it like, hey, like, boom, you're reading a Bible story. Then you're like, you know, it's like at the nursery or it's like when mom has you on a play date. Or it's like when you're at the playground and you know what I mean? And like, actually, like, bring it home. I think that. I think that actually. I think that would actually help kind of the comprehension. Comprehension aspect of it, you know, where she can actually be like, yeah, that makes sense. You're. You're applying things in real life, but it's gonna definitely acquire more from you on your end. You know what I mean? [01:03:31] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:03:33] Speaker B: Because you're gonna have to figure out those. Those illustrations. You're going to have to figure out those. I think that's the great thing about going to pastoral ministry school was, you know, the. The challenge of. Of being able to make this an illustration that. That people would. Would grasp, you know, of all walks. So. But the idea behind what he. What he was saying was your prefrontal cortex, when you're under stress doesn't function as it should because you're. You're multitasking, and it doesn't have that ability. So, like, simple questions actually take a lot longer to answer. And then he goes. And then after, like, I asked him those three questions that, like, would take him a lot longer to answer. Well, then. Then I would ask two guys to come up and hold his arms, and as they're holding the weights in his arms, he would. Then I would then ask him three more questions and just show, like, how easy it was to answer those questions. [01:04:31] Speaker A: So he came up with this illustration and didn't know that story about Moses? [01:04:37] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:04:38] Speaker A: That's wild. I like this guy. [01:04:45] Speaker B: Yeah, well, he said he. He went to, like, some Bible camp or conference when he was younger and they had him do it there. But they also didn't relate. They didn't. They didn't say the story. They just were talking about, like, when. When you're going through. When you're dealing with sin or something, you know, like. Like, you. It's hard for you to actually focus on things. I. I think it was a therapy. I don't think it was actually biblical either. He has a pretty crazy story testimony. I make fun of him for it, but it's. It's a good one. [01:05:23] Speaker A: Yeah, I think you. Was he the one that says he sees visions? [01:05:28] Speaker B: Nope, that's another guy. [01:05:29] Speaker A: That's. [01:05:29] Speaker B: That's. [01:05:29] Speaker A: That's the pilot. [01:05:30] Speaker B: JC yeah, that's the pilot. [01:05:33] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:05:34] Speaker B: This. This guy is nowhere near a pilot. [01:05:42] Speaker A: You don't give a pilot those nicknames. [01:05:45] Speaker B: Yeah, Speaking of, I was watching Beverly Hills Ninja Tonight. [01:05:51] Speaker A: Underrated. [01:05:52] Speaker B: Dude. Dude, it's Kung Fu Panda before Kung Fu Panda. [01:05:59] Speaker A: I don't know. I don't know if I've actually seen the full movie, but I just love when he's like, those are the ashes of my ancestors. He just spills it everywhere. [01:06:14] Speaker B: He's like, putting the ashes together. I was like. He says, I'm like, teamwork. They like teamwork or something like that. [01:06:24] Speaker A: Have you ever seen Almost Heroes? [01:06:28] Speaker B: No. Okay, I might have. What's. Who's in it? [01:06:30] Speaker A: It's Chris Farley's last movie. I think it came out after he died, but it's like a real low budget, like, Civil War movie. And it's, like, funny. Under budget, you know, and there's this one. There's this one scene that M. And I would always quote to each other. Whatever we were drinking where the war is over, and this, like, rich aristocrat guy, they're at, like, a party celebrating the end of the war, and he offers Chris Farley some whiskey. And Chris Farley goes, oh, no, I better not. I fear inebriation would cause me to forget my manners in the presence of such fine company. The rich guy goes, I'm just talking about a sip. I'm not saying get blind drunk. And. And he's like, well, then I better do. And he takes the whole bottle. He drinks the whole bottle. [01:07:34] Speaker B: That's a good. I like that line, actually. What are the struggles do you feel as a husband, man? How do you feel? Isolation. Oh, what were you gonna say? How do you what? [01:07:55] Speaker A: Well, I don't know if I want to get into this just because the day. [01:08:00] Speaker B: That makes me even more intrigued. [01:08:01] Speaker A: The day is inevitably coming when my wife finds this podcast. So I have to be so careful. I don't know if this was ever an issue for you. Was she ever holding out on you? [01:08:17] Speaker B: Ah, the whole holdout move. It's a classic. It's a classic. It's. It's a classic war tactic. You know, it's a. It's a classic that should have been in the 40 lessons of. Of power, for sure. However, I mean, yeah, she would. I think sometimes they even use as a threat, like, oh, you're not gonna get any tonight because you've been a bad boy or whatever. You know what I mean? Like, might have joked a little too much with your friends and, you know, now you're not just gonna. You're not gonna get it. Yeah, dude, to the point where I was. I would quote scripture, your body's not your body, it's my body. Like, you know, like, my body's not my body, it's yours. So. [01:09:03] Speaker A: Sounds crazy out of context. It sounds super rapey. [01:09:10] Speaker B: Well, says that the wife's body doesn't belong to her. It belongs to the husband. [01:09:17] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:09:17] Speaker B: Yeah. And so, yeah, she did hold out on me, however. Yeah, that's a struggle, man. I don't know how you would biblically reconcile that, because, like, mine was like, oh, you think I need it from you? Like, I'll just go get it. You know? Like, hold out all you want. You know what I mean? You know, I didn't. I didn't respond accordingly, you know? Like, I'd either masturbate a lot and not give it up to her when she wanted it, or I'd go find it somewhere else. You know, I wasn't someone that was like, again, like, don't try and control. I just have this issue with control. Don't try and control me. I hate that. I hate when people try and manipulate and dictate to. To gain control over me. Like, that is. That is something that does click on that rebellion mode for me where I'm like, okay, I'll just show you that. If you're not gonna. There's plenty out there that will. [01:10:19] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. This is not, like, a punishment. This is just zero drive. [01:10:30] Speaker B: It might be deeper, bro. Which, again, is a struggle as a husband, because now you have to go from, like, hey, I just need to get my nut to, like, an investigator. Hey, what are you going through? Is everything okay? You know, are. Are. [01:10:45] Speaker A: Yeah, but it's like, she. I mean, I. It's. We kind of know, like, she's just in terrible pain all the time and is just exhausted all the time and just. Women are not good at, like, men can do it anytime, any place, with whoever. [01:11:04] Speaker B: Too big for anal. You're like, she's always like, it just hurts. It just hurts her. [01:11:12] Speaker A: No, no, it's like, you know, it's got, like, fibromyalgia. So it's like, if you touch her arm, she's freaking in pain, you know? So it's. It's more of just like, never having the energy. [01:11:27] Speaker B: And. Does she really have that. Are you just saying, like. Like, she. [01:11:31] Speaker A: No, she does. [01:11:32] Speaker B: She's. [01:11:32] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:11:33] Speaker B: Oh, okay. I didn't know that was, like, something she really was suffering with. Oh, yeah. If that's the case, like, I don't know. I've also done things where I'm like, hey, I've been with girls that are too sore down there. You know, like, you know, after. After I take the honey, and, you know, an hour passes, they're like, I can't do it anymore. And I'm like, well, I'm still Fully cocked. And so. So there have been times where it's like, well, let me just play with me while you play with you. You know? Like, you know, and you might want to start with that to create the mood, but I've never had fibromyalgia. I don't know what it is, man. I mean, like, does her mouth hurt? [01:12:24] Speaker A: She's also got tmj, so that's. That's a whole other thing. But, yeah, it's like, that can't even get her into that arena. It's. It's just. [01:12:36] Speaker B: Where'd you find this girl? At a retirement home? [01:12:38] Speaker A: Freaking. I wonder. Telling you, man, it. The day we got married is when this. This shift took place. It was literally the first night of our honeymoon was the first time I felt like, she doesn't really want to be doing this right now. Like, I am forcing her. I'm forcing her to do this. And. And it's never been regular since. [01:13:06] Speaker B: Great feeling to have on your wedding night, dude. [01:13:08] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:13:09] Speaker B: Telling you I don't have a gun, sweetheart. [01:13:13] Speaker A: I wish I did, but so did she. [01:13:17] Speaker B: Dude, it reminds me every time I'm in a store and I hear a baby wailing. It reminds me, and I'm like, is somebody stabbing that baby? I wish they would or no. He says, can they. [01:13:34] Speaker A: What is that from? [01:13:35] Speaker B: Is that old school Tom Segura when he's like, there's a baby crying, so I'm like, is somebody stabbing that baby? And they're like, would you stop? And he's like, can they. [01:13:48] Speaker A: Dude, have you seen. Have you seen Sledgehammer? His most recent one? [01:13:55] Speaker B: I have. I don't know if I turned it off halfway through or not. If you say stuff that doesn't sit right with my soul, I just know. Turned you off? [01:14:03] Speaker A: Yeah, it was like. I don't remember if there was anything that, like, spiritually bothered me, but one joke in particular. It, like, it was so wrong that I was almost like, oh, my God. And then. And then it was so wrong that I had to laugh. But he was saying he was in the shower with his son and his. You know how kids will just say inappropriate stuff. Stuff, and his kid just, like, points at his dick and he goes, you have a big penis and I have a small penis. And he's just like, making this joke about, like, yeah, hey, how about you don't ever say that to anyone else ever again? Whatever. So he goes through it again and he's like, well, that's cuz mine's hard, buddy. [01:14:53] Speaker B: Yeah. So I Think that was the joke. I turned it off on. [01:14:57] Speaker A: I was like, oh, yeah, yeah. [01:14:59] Speaker B: You're borderline. Some weird shit. I do want to see his new series. He has out, like, those stories. [01:15:06] Speaker A: It was pretty good. It's. It's just weird. [01:15:12] Speaker B: Is it? [01:15:13] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:15:13] Speaker B: I kind of want to check that. [01:15:14] Speaker A: Out, but it's really quick. It's like 20 minute episodes, so, I mean, you can figure out pretty quickly if you're into it or not. [01:15:23] Speaker B: Okay, so back to your. Your. Your lady friend here, man. That's. That's. Are you praying about this stuff? [01:15:36] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:15:38] Speaker B: Okay. And you haven't heard anything like, tell her to open wide? [01:15:46] Speaker A: No. And that's. That's the hardest part is, like, it's not that I'm, like, doing anything wrong. It's not. Not like a punishment. It's not. It's just. It's as if she is, like, an asexual person who just has no desire to do this, and it kind of feels like a favor. 10 months. [01:16:08] Speaker B: Did this ever get brought up, like, no, this was. [01:16:10] Speaker A: This was not a problem. This was not a problem when we were dating. [01:16:14] Speaker B: Oh, you guys had sex when you were dating? [01:16:15] Speaker A: All the time. [01:16:18] Speaker B: Wow. And now she's like, well, he's got a good personality. [01:16:32] Speaker A: I don't think she would ever say that about me. [01:16:37] Speaker B: Man. This is kind of nuts, dude. I don't. I don't. I don't know, man. Dang. Dude. So what, like, is there a cure for this fibromyalgia? [01:16:47] Speaker A: That. That was just one example of the many, many health problems that. That she's got. But I don't know if it really comes down to any of those. It's just. How do you convince someone who's completely exhausted that they're not exhausted? You know what I mean? Like, it's just. [01:17:05] Speaker B: Yeah, maybe we should. Let's. Let's shift our focus. Remember how we were talking about your parents? Have you ever thought about, like. [01:17:12] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Oh, all the time. Yeah. About to be raining. I mean, that's like, when people talk and, like, kind of daydream about the lottery. That's what I do. I'm just like, you know, if I really did just buy the ticket, so to speak, and I really did just win, everything would turn around, you know, all these ladies, It'd be all over me. [01:17:43] Speaker B: Oh, that's hard. Does her hand work? Don't tell me she's got, like, athlete's hand. [01:17:52] Speaker A: Athletes. No, you know, she's just never been big on that arthritis and, like, it's not like I haven't dropped hints. Like, I've. I've probably straight up said, like, I'd be thrilled with. But that's the thing. My ego won't allow me to, like, stoop to that level. You know, it's like, I don't like the. [01:18:17] Speaker B: Some old man in a car. [01:18:19] Speaker A: I. I don't. I don't like the, like, you know, you know, like the stereotypical. The stereotypical, like, husband who's like, just like begging for it all the time. Like, I can't bring myself to that. [01:18:36] Speaker B: So, like, yeah, you don't want the atmosphere of her just sitting there, like, thinking about bills. And you're like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:18:43] Speaker A: She's like, that's just sad. [01:18:45] Speaker B: Are you done yet? And yeah, and you're just sitting there thinking, like, wonder what she. I bet she thinks it's taking a long time. And then that just makes you further from the, from the goal. But now you're thinking about what she's thinking about. [01:18:56] Speaker A: I don't even know if she, like, realizes that that would be helpful, if that makes sense. Like, I don't think, like, she has that same equivalent, like, where she would like to just get some hand stuff and not engage in the rest. Like, I don't think she has that. So she's not thinking that that's even, you know, a possibility. [01:19:25] Speaker B: You need to buy some cucumbers, man, and just give her the hint while you're cutting them. Like, man, can't remember last time my cucumber was stroked like this. Just be like, hey, come over here. Fill this cucumber and then put just right on the cutting, cutting board, just laid out there. I mean, dude, just flop it out. [01:19:42] Speaker A: You joke. [01:19:43] Speaker B: What are you doing? I'm like, feel the cucumber. [01:19:45] Speaker A: You joke. There has not been a phallic shaped thing in this house that I haven't made a joke like that about. Literally just today, literally just today, I like, grabbed her in the kitchen. Like, really serious. Like, I grabbed her and I like, got up in her, in her ear. And I was just like, what are you doing later? [01:20:06] Speaker B: What? [01:20:07] Speaker A: How often do you come here? Like, I was just like, around with her and it's just like, oh, you're so silly. You know, it's just like, I'm not being silly. I'm getting rapey. You're making me rapey. [01:20:23] Speaker B: I thought first her response would have been ew. And then secondly, like, I have fibromyalgia. You're hurting. [01:20:31] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Don't, don't think that wasn't also part of it. [01:20:34] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:20:36] Speaker A: God, I can't touch your shoulders. [01:20:40] Speaker B: That's got to be hard. Dude. I don't know. I don't know what I would do. I honestly don't. I'd probably just buy one of those butt cheek things from the sex store and just go to town on it. [01:20:51] Speaker A: Yeah, you know what? I. I gotta think if she found that somewhere in the house, that she might reconsider, you know, some of her decision making. [01:21:01] Speaker B: Dude, no. You got an extra like 300? Nope. Teemu Temu has life size, like, silicone dolls. [01:21:15] Speaker A: I should get one and be like, I got her to help you out with some of the housework. [01:21:23] Speaker B: God, we're gonna help you out with some of the housework. [01:21:29] Speaker A: We're gonna go in the guest room for a while. You've got the, the dishes and Esmeralda has guest room stuff. [01:21:43] Speaker B: Oh, dude, that would be a great. That would be a great scene in a movie, dude. She just walks past the door and like the room is just thrashed. Esmeralda sitting there with a fake cigarette in bed. [01:21:56] Speaker A: I was just gonna say that. I was just gonna say Esmeralda smoking a cigarette. And she just goes, oh, my God. I told you not to smoke in the house. Just nothing registers. [01:22:16] Speaker B: Oh, man. Good stuff. Hey, do you ever have issues with your in laws? [01:22:24] Speaker A: They're dead. Oh, lucky, dude. When I was, when I was single, I said maybe a hundred times, I said, you know what I really need is I need a girl with a dead dad. And then I found one, you know? [01:22:44] Speaker B: Yeah, nice. [01:22:45] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:22:46] Speaker B: And she. Her dad's dead. How old is your wife? Because, like, you make her sound like she's in her 50s. [01:22:54] Speaker A: Yeah, she acts like she's in her 50s. She just turned 34. [01:23:02] Speaker B: How old are you, bro? 31. [01:23:05] Speaker A: 31. [01:23:07] Speaker B: Nice. [01:23:08] Speaker A: Yeah, that's nice. [01:23:10] Speaker B: Going for the older ladies. Always. [01:23:14] Speaker A: No, you know what would. It would be nice to have them around. They weren't, you know, they. They had their issues in life, but it would be nice for my daughter to have two sets of grandparents. So, you know, I joke about them, but, you know, I would much rather them be here than not. [01:23:40] Speaker B: Yeah, but if they're unhealthy, I'd rather have one set of healthy grandparents than a healthy set and an unhealthy set. [01:23:50] Speaker A: Well, we've got zero, so. [01:23:53] Speaker B: Yeah, I didn't want to say that, but I'm glad you pointed that out because pops over here is probably not the. [01:23:58] Speaker A: Not the healthiest guy, but you Know if they. If they had. If they had made it this far, they probably would have worked that out. So. [01:24:09] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. Damn, dude. Like, you have. When was the last time you. You've been in that. That cubby? [01:24:18] Speaker A: I'd have to check my journal. I keep a little habit tracker, but it was last week sometime, but. [01:24:25] Speaker B: Oh, you got it last week. [01:24:26] Speaker A: Yeah, but it's, you know, it's like once a month maybe. [01:24:30] Speaker B: Really? [01:24:31] Speaker A: Yeah. That ain't. [01:24:32] Speaker B: You're just. You're just. Okay, so let me ask you. Is she on birth control or can she get pregnant again? [01:24:38] Speaker A: She can. Yeah. And. Oh, this. I'll definitely cut out of the episode, but we. We were using condoms, and I just can't stay hard with them anymore. So we're just back to. [01:24:51] Speaker B: Leave that out. Leave that in. You're not alone, dude. I don't. The condoms suck, bro. [01:24:56] Speaker A: Yeah, they didn't always, like. I didn't hate them at first, but. Yeah. So we're back to just pulling out. And hopefully she's not that fertile. [01:25:09] Speaker B: Okay, so. So here we are, bro. This is your get back. You're pent up, bro. You're pent up. So when you're getting in there, dude, honestly, just pull out, put it at like a 45, and just let it. Let it rip, dude. Let it get in her hair. You know what I mean? Like, just. Just. Just let it go, bro. [01:25:31] Speaker A: She. She does this thing where she puts her hand on her chest like this so that it doesn't hit her in the face. [01:25:40] Speaker B: Yeah, I. You know what? When they do that, I aim a little higher because I'm gonna clear that hand like I'm throwing the rock over the wall. [01:25:47] Speaker A: You know what I mean? Yeah, I would just hit. [01:25:51] Speaker B: The walls are only good for one thing. [01:25:56] Speaker A: Aids. [01:25:57] Speaker B: I. [01:25:59] Speaker A: No gay sex off. Nah. Yeah, no, yeah, I get what you're saying with that. [01:26:07] Speaker B: Yeah, dude, the cleanup on it is. Is great. You know, I mean, just boom. Pop it in the trash, put a couple tissues over it. [01:26:16] Speaker A: Yeah. Call it a day in someone else's house and assume that no one will ever find it. [01:26:25] Speaker B: Who's scrummaging through trash, bro? [01:26:27] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:26:27] Speaker B: Who's scrummaging through trash? [01:26:29] Speaker A: Well, you know, you're trash, apparently. I don't know if they did that to all their guests. Their guests in the house. [01:26:42] Speaker B: You know, when you got that gut instinct really keened in, you know, really, really queued in on someone. So. [01:26:51] Speaker A: Yeah, that. That's a. That's a big one. A lot of husbands struggle with it really Does. I don't know if you've found this to be the case. I always got the impression from you in your marriage that you guys were pretty regular. Like, you. You weren't, you know. Yeah, you. You seem to be kind of going at it, but a lot of. [01:27:10] Speaker B: She wanted it more than what I wanted it for, sure. Really? Like, she was just like, yeah, like, all the time. And I'm like, look, I'm not that attracted to you, you know, but it was like. But you know what I mean? I. I. [01:27:24] Speaker A: With me. [01:27:25] Speaker B: You know what I mean? No. Near the end of our marriage, it was hard for me to stay. Stay around. [01:27:31] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, sure. Yeah. [01:27:33] Speaker B: It was just like, I couldn't stand who she was as a person, you know, Maybe that's a cop out even. I think. I think a lot of it, too, was my infidelities, you know, just. And. And, dude, it goes back to the porn thing. Like, you start progressing in what you want to do and, and how far you want to go and where you want to push it. And, you know, like, we. We ended up buying toys and, and, you know, tying each other up to the bed and blindfolds and whips, and you get to this point where you're just like, oh, like, you're. You're not doing it. Like, now I want to do it in public. You know, we would do it while we're driving. We would, like. It was just like, I needed. I needed a. A harder hit of dopamine. I need a harder hit of dopamine. And I don't know if it's because at that time, yes, I was still watching porn regularly. I was also, you know, unfaithful for. For a lot of those years. And then at the same time, like, here we are, you know, kind of like, you know, taking it deeper and deeper and deeper where it's just like, Like, I don't know, man. It seemed like regular sex wasn't really. Wasn't really good. So, like, when she just wanted to have sex in the room, it was kind of like, all right, get your nut and let me just put this thing away and go back to what I was doing. [01:28:50] Speaker A: And the fact that she's a bad person didn't do anything for you. [01:28:56] Speaker B: Her being a bad, like her, her character. Like, now again, we. We had. We'd been intimate on Thanksgiving. Just, just, just, you know, it ended the. The same way it was at the end of our marriage, where she was. [01:29:14] Speaker A: The old noodle stab. [01:29:16] Speaker B: You're not even. [01:29:17] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:29:17] Speaker B: And I was just like, and I want to say it's common for me, but it's not common for me. [01:29:23] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:29:23] Speaker B: And so, like, I thought it was common, but it's just common with her. [01:29:28] Speaker A: Like, see, I could, I could imagine like, getting into the fact that she's a bad person. You know, as long as you don't say pig out loud. Like. Yes. You kind of can't she kind of mentally put yourself there. There's like, this is a mistake. We shouldn't be doing this. [01:29:50] Speaker B: There is, there is that, that aspect. And that's why so many infidelities, because that aspect is a turn on. But the aspect of like, you're supposed to be my, my, my everything. And you're so manipulative. You're so, like, trifling. You're so. You like everything you do. Like, you try and, and, you know, like, manipulate. But there's another word I was, I said earlier and I was thinking about it, but, like, I'm not attracted to who you are as a person. You know what I mean? Like, it would be better, this would probably work better if I just met you, didn't know you, and it was like, oh, we shouldn't be doing this, because then there's that arousal factor. Not only am I going to be, you know, right up there in the, in the redwoods, but I'm also gonna, I'm also gonna hit it a lot quicker. Like, I'm not gonna be 45 minutes. I'm gonna be about maybe six, you know? Six. [01:30:45] Speaker A: Six. You're a God. [01:30:54] Speaker B: I'll share a story, man. I did, I did. I met a mom at, at school and she was like, oh, do you want to. You want to go for a hike? And so we, we admitted we'd seen each other, but we never talked until we went to like, one of the kids parties. And then, like, we were talking and joking and. And then one day she's like, you want to go for a hike? I'm like, sure, let's go for a hike. We meet, we go for a hike. We do this hike. And she's like, I like to hike naked. I'm like, bullshit, dude. Like, you're not hiking naked out here. She's like, well, I like to get to the top. And then, like, if no one's there, I like to like, just kind of like, meditate naked. And I'm like, I'm still calling BS because you don't know if anybody's coming up. So we go on this hike and we walk up, we walk back down at this time, like, there's probably in this parking lot of. Of cars now when you go on hikes, like, the parking lot's out in the middle of nowhere, you know, and so there's probably 20 or so cars. And so I backed in, she pulled forward. So I was like, dude, so, you know, we're talking. I got my car door open, her car to open, create a nice little space. And so I was just like, let me kiss it. So, dude, we get butt. Ass naked, and we just start having sex for, like a good 45 minutes in this parking lot, like, outside of our cars, up against the car. We tried it in the car. We got out the car, we did it on the benches. I mean, like, we went. I was like, this. This is. This is. I felt like it was the life at the time. Little did I know what it was doing to my soul. But at the time, it felt. It felt. [01:32:28] Speaker A: And. And this wasn't the most recent mom because you went on a hike with her too. [01:32:36] Speaker B: I did. I. However, I did not want to repeat that. Like, that was something that kind of just happened. I'm now more like. I'm not gonna. I know what. I'm swinging. I'm not gonna give up the goods to something that. To someone I'm not gonna. That I can't see myself marrying. [01:32:57] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. [01:32:58] Speaker B: And. And. And I'm not gonna lower my standards to. To be in a relationship either. [01:33:04] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:33:04] Speaker B: So I have higher standards now for sure than what I had two years ago. But. And it was a. Yeah, it was two years ago with that. That mom on the hike that we, you know, just had crazy, just sex. But I'm not. I'm not that guy either anymore. I'm more now like, no, you know, if I can't marry you, I don't. I don't. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna take that chance. [01:33:33] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:33:34] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:33:34] Speaker A: Understandable, man. 45 minutes. All right, well, that's common, and I hate it. [01:33:43] Speaker B: That's common and I hate it, dude. Because more often than not, they're like, okay, like, I've already. I've already climaxed, and now it's starting to hurt. And I'm like, well, I haven't, as you can tell, you know, so, you know, we ain't done. You know what I mean? [01:34:00] Speaker A: This is the goal of what we're doing here. Don't get ahead of me. [01:34:11] Speaker B: Yeah. So. [01:34:14] Speaker A: Yeah, so that's a big one. [01:34:15] Speaker B: That was some of the struggles. [01:34:16] Speaker A: That's. That's a big one. [01:34:18] Speaker B: Huge One. Yeah, that's a. That is. That's more common than not. Like, if husbands are bitching, it's bitching about how she's not putting out. [01:34:27] Speaker A: Yeah. Oh, and that's what I was gonna say. I actually totally rabbit trail this. Do you often find that, like, this is less of a problem before marriage? [01:34:41] Speaker B: It's dependent. Like, honestly, me, during our dating phase, had sex only three times. Mind you, we only dated for five weeks before we were married. But, like, that was. Part of. It was like, hey, like, if we're gonna get married, I don't want to have sex with you until I'm getting married. Like, I honestly had, like, some good intentions. And. Yeah, it's. Yeah. And so those times we did it, it was more like we weren't accountable to anybody, nor were we Christians. We just knew, like, hey, we wanted to try and wait five weeks, you know? Like, we wanted to wait till we got married. [01:35:25] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:35:27] Speaker B: But no, during the. Well, it's. It also depends, man. I mean, I'm at a stage now where I would like to date for a good year or so without having sex. Like, if sex is what it's built on, I know we're gonna have good sex. I'm not worried about that. You're gonna like what I do, you know, you're gonna like the. The. The tightness in. In the back of your head when I pull your hair. You're gonna like the. The light choking. You know what I mean? Like, you're gonna like for sure. But I'm not. I'm not worried about good sex. I'm worried about, like, good communication, good connection, good. Good values, good principles. Like, I want. I want. And I want a conservative woman who dresses conservatively. I don't want someone that, like. Like my ex, who's just seeking attention every time we go out and has to look, you know, Like, I don't want that. [01:36:19] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:36:19] Speaker B: You know, look good, but you don't have to look good with all the goods out, you know, or trying to flaunt the goods. Like, let's just look. Let's just look regular, but nice regular, you know? So. Yeah. But I also don't want to, like, you know, someone you're driving down the street, you're like, I bet she's Mormon. You know? I mean, you know. Yeah. Skirt. Skirt all the way down to the gutter. I don't want that, you know? [01:36:47] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:36:51] Speaker B: So. I don't know, man. I think. I think husbands carry a lot of burdens. I don't know. For wives I know, and I don't mean that in the sense of like, belittling women. I mean that in the sense of like, I know wives have their own struggles. [01:37:02] Speaker A: What do they even do all day? [01:37:09] Speaker B: I know, I know. Probably your. One of your wife's struggles that if. If it's not already here, is going to come. To come is the. Her community or lack of community. Like, she's with a child all day and there's going to come an age where your child's talking, your child's doing things, and that's who your wife is conversing with all day. Like, she's not conversing with people who are maybe challenging her in thought versus in conversation. And not intentionally, but just conversing where she's like, oh, I never thought about that. Or oh, that's a good point. Point. Or she's talking to someone like that she can literally, like run circles around with just a math problem, you know, what's two plus two? You know, and the kid's not gonna know, like, that's who she's conversing with for a while. And she's gonna. I think she's gonna come. Come to a point where she maybe feels like she has nothing to give conversationally because her life is. Is a mom, her life is home, raising a kid. And there's nothing exciting to talk about that, you know, like, there's no. Guess who I ran into the store today. You know, I mean, like, guess what happened when I was at work today. We had this problem and I had to fix it, or this came up or, you know, I was in this situation. It's going to be the same shit every day. Like, yeah, today my back hurt putting in the dvd, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Today I realized I should probably change my pajamas because day three, they start to smell, you know, I don't know. [01:38:38] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if that is gonna come. She has never really enjoyed being in community with people. [01:38:52] Speaker B: Nick, I'm starting to question your life choices, buddy. [01:38:56] Speaker A: Yep. You're not the only one. [01:38:58] Speaker B: Yeah. If she ever comes to you and says so I started listening to your podcast. I mean, we're a good. We're a good amount in. Where you'll hear it probably before episode 11. Yeah, just remember episode 20, you got to go and delete from the. On the Internet. [01:39:21] Speaker A: 21. [01:39:22] Speaker B: I've got 21. [01:39:24] Speaker A: I've got. Yeah, I've got 20 episodes of her listening. Oh, God, I hope she doesn't listen in secret. Oh, that Was. Sorry. [01:39:34] Speaker B: Dude. Would that not be the. Though you come home and like that Teu doll is just sitting on the. [01:39:38] Speaker A: Couch smoking a cigarette. [01:39:40] Speaker B: She's like, yeah. And she's like, esmeralda. Esmeralda. [01:39:48] Speaker A: That would. [01:39:49] Speaker B: Esmeralda has something she wants to show you in the guest room. What? [01:39:53] Speaker A: What? You. You got exactly what I wanted. It's the Gilded Lady. [01:40:05] Speaker B: It's okay. It's not the movie. It's not the movie. Chewbacca mask. [01:40:10] Speaker A: It's okay. That mine's not movie quality. Bow and arrow. [01:40:19] Speaker B: Dale got Hulk hands. [01:40:20] Speaker A: Dale got Hulk hands, man. Oh, that's a perfect movie. [01:40:33] Speaker B: It really is, man. You know? [01:40:37] Speaker A: Yeah, no, I. You know, I don't think. Even if she discovered it, I don't think she's getting more than a few episodes in. She's just never been that interested in anything I've done, so I think we're safe. [01:40:52] Speaker B: Wow, dude. Like, I have so much to add to my prayer list for you. [01:40:56] Speaker A: Thank you. Do it. [01:40:58] Speaker B: It's nuts though, dude, cuz it. Like, on this side of the fence, it sounds like your wife don't really like you, bro. [01:41:07] Speaker A: I make it sound a lot worse than it is, but sometimes she acts like it. Sometimes she hits me that worships the. [01:41:17] Speaker B: Ground I walk on. [01:41:18] Speaker A: Sometimes she hits me when no one's around. [01:41:21] Speaker B: That's once a month. That's only. That's only once a month, though. [01:41:24] Speaker A: It's. It's only. It's only body shot so that my clothes cover the bruises. [01:41:32] Speaker B: She beats me with bars of soap in a sock. [01:41:35] Speaker A: She says if I tell anyone, it'll happen again. [01:41:40] Speaker B: You know what? You know, that's why they beat people with bars of soap and socks, right? [01:41:44] Speaker A: Because it doesn't leave a bruise. [01:41:46] Speaker B: Doesn't leave a bruise. [01:41:48] Speaker A: Yeah, oranges too. Got a couple Valencia oranges in a sock there. You ever seen the Grifters? [01:41:58] Speaker B: It sounds like I have, but I don't think I have. [01:42:01] Speaker A: What's his name? Freaking. His wife is kind of unattractive. Fuck. It's crazy that I can't think. [01:42:12] Speaker B: Whoever's. [01:42:13] Speaker A: Either of their names. [01:42:14] Speaker B: Whoever's married to Jake Gyllenhaal's sister. [01:42:17] Speaker A: No. Ah, man. It's on the tip of my tongue. Nope, it's gone. I'm never gonna think of it. The Grifters, though, you'll. When you see the guy, the star of the movie, you'll. You'll be shocked that I couldn't think of his name. [01:42:34] Speaker B: He was on. He was on the tip of your tongue. [01:42:36] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:42:37] Speaker B: And you couldn't think of his name? [01:42:38] Speaker A: Can't think of his name. He's. He's got a wife who was on Shameless, and she's. [01:42:45] Speaker B: Okay, kind of. [01:42:47] Speaker A: She's kind of unattractive. [01:42:51] Speaker B: She's a little sister. [01:42:52] Speaker A: I don't think so. [01:42:53] Speaker B: Or she. Fiona. I can't stand Fiona, bro. [01:42:56] Speaker A: No, no, no, no, no. She's. She's the mom of Lip's girlfriend who has the down syndrome baby. [01:43:05] Speaker B: Arquette. [01:43:06] Speaker A: Nope. [01:43:06] Speaker B: Arquette. [01:43:07] Speaker A: Nope. [01:43:08] Speaker B: No, I always get him mixed up with the. Arquette. [01:43:10] Speaker A: Yep. Yeah, Yeah. [01:43:15] Speaker B: I know who you're talking about, man. [01:43:18] Speaker A: Cusack. Joan Cusack and John Cusack. Yeah, that. Okay, the Alzheimer's isn't coming for me yet. Yeah, John Cusack. But anyways, the lead. I think it's. Faye Dunaway is the lead actress in that, and her boyfriend wraps up a bunch of oranges and a towel and just beats her with it. It's great. [01:43:42] Speaker B: Really? [01:43:43] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:43:44] Speaker B: Damn. That's OG Right there. That's prison stuff. [01:43:46] Speaker A: The only thing that could get me. [01:43:47] Speaker B: Off for a while. You know, come to think of it, I might pop that movie in tonight. Wife's in bed. I got some alone time. [01:44:04] Speaker A: Got the guest room all to myself. [01:44:08] Speaker B: Got a fresh new bottle of vegetable oil from Walmart. [01:44:13] Speaker A: I almost died for this vegetable oil. Well, you got anything else? [01:44:23] Speaker B: I don't, man. What do you want to talk about next week? [01:44:26] Speaker A: I don't know. I don't know. I edited the death episode, and that was a really good episode. We got to do more existential spiritual stuff. [01:44:38] Speaker B: Well, that's existential. Yeah. It's about asparagus, who's really self conscious about the way his pee smells. [01:44:50] Speaker A: What's more vulnerable than a peach? [01:45:00] Speaker B: All right, so. All right, well, let's. Let's put our thinking caps on and talk about it. [01:45:05] Speaker A: All right? [01:45:06] Speaker B: Not right now, but during the week. [01:45:08] Speaker A: Yeah, I'll. I'll say, yeah, send you a text. Oh, and I've. [01:45:13] Speaker B: It was funny. [01:45:13] Speaker A: I've got episode titles for that email I sent you, so I'll. I'll try to remember to send those. [01:45:22] Speaker B: I did talk to one of my daughter's friend's mom. She's. She's the one I kind of interviewed about, like, what we sacrifice as parents, and was telling her, like, she's like, so how's the podcast coming? And I'm like, oh, it's coming good. Like, she's like, well, you know what? What kind of topics have you been talking about? That's always a hard question because, like, we talk about so much. And I'm like, well, shit, what did we talk about last week? I was like, it was a good one. And I'm, like, sitting there thinking, and I'm like, I don't even know what we talked about last week. And I was like, that's right. Death. [01:45:57] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:45:58] Speaker B: And she was like, oh, I bet that was a good one. And I was like, yeah, we started talking about it, and I was telling her kind of some of the topics we were talking about, and she started doing it like, she wouldn't. She wouldn't say die. Yeah, she wouldn't. Like, she was using those words like, oh, when I'm. When I'm like, when I pass. When, you know, when I'm no longer here. And she's like, wow, I'm actually doing what you were saying. You guys were, like, talking about, like, yeah, I'm telling you, man, like, people do it a lot in the Western civilization. Civilization. Our Western culture. [01:46:28] Speaker A: Yeah. And I've thought about it more and of. Almost, like, we find nice ways to talk about taking a shit, too. You know? Like, we don't. We don't typically just go out and say, like, yeah, man, I really had the green apple splatters last night. Anyways, how was your weekend? [01:46:49] Speaker B: Shit so bad. You ever have shit so bad, you do it before you pee? [01:46:56] Speaker A: You ever, like, feel it build up and then it all just comes out at once? Yeah. [01:47:01] Speaker B: Dude, I'm not gonna lie. I think something happened to me. I don't know if it's the probiotics. [01:47:08] Speaker A: I think. I think there was an incident. There's sort of a before and after. [01:47:18] Speaker B: But in, like, the last month, I can't get a fart out with having to go, like, make sure. Like, make sure I got, you know, I got to go, like, do a check. [01:47:26] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:47:26] Speaker B: And sure enough, it. Like, no matter how many times I wipe, dude, sure enough. Every time there's markings on the toilet paper. Yes. And so now, like, I'll get home and I'll go. I'll go do my duty, and then I'll wet wipe it, dry, wipe it wet, wipe it, dry, wipe it, and then I'll dry, dry, dry, dry, dry, do another wet. I relax. I try and relax because I know it's. It's tense, you know, it's. It's all scrunched up. And so I try and relax, do a little wipe, and I try and get, like, a fingertip in there just a little bit to see if, like, okay. And then I'll. Then I'LL head to the gym. Sure enough. One exercise in. I'm like, hey, stretch marks, I'll be back, dude, I gotta. I gotta go check. I gotta go check. And then I come back out, he's like, was it all good, dude? I'm like, glad I checked, bro. Cuz and every time. [01:48:15] Speaker A: Bro, does this have anything to do with you being 45 minutes late to the gym? Why. Why you have to go to the bathroom so much. [01:48:26] Speaker B: Dude? I'm telling you, man. I don't know. I think. I don't know if the probiotics are really, like. [01:48:30] Speaker A: What was that supplement you were taking in episode? [01:48:37] Speaker B: Was I drinking it on camera? [01:48:39] Speaker A: No, it was. [01:48:41] Speaker B: Oh, the she legit. [01:48:43] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you still taking that? [01:48:45] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm still. Yeah, I'm still. [01:48:46] Speaker A: That's probably what it is. That was. That was you up big time. [01:48:50] Speaker B: No, no, this was happening before the. Dude, this has been. This has been like the last on. And honest, if I'm thinking about it, it's been like the last three, four months. Okay. I just. I just. It's not something I'm. I'm vulnerable about, you know, I don't really talk about it out in public, you know? [01:49:05] Speaker A: Okay. [01:49:11] Speaker B: I talk about it all the time. I was at the men's retreat, and I was, like, about to play pickleball, and I was like, think I gotta go do a safety wipe. And they're like, are you serious? And I was like, yeah. And I came back out and I was like, good thing I did. They were like, don't touch the balls. I was like, come on, guys. I wash my hands. Get out of here. [01:49:29] Speaker A: That's so freaking funny. Yeah, well, we'll figure it out. [01:49:34] Speaker B: I don't know how Mormon. I feel like I'm the only man that does this, though. Like, I bring it up, and other guys are like, that's gross. And, like, that's weird. And I'm like, you don't ever have to go. Just like, you're walking around doing your daily tasking. Like, you know what? I know I wiped good, but apparently not good enough. I got to turn around and go back in. [01:49:55] Speaker A: Okay. [01:49:55] Speaker B: Might be an hour later. Might be. [01:49:57] Speaker A: No, no, no, no, no. If. If I haven't pooped since I took a shower, there's much less chance of that. [01:50:08] Speaker B: But for sure, if I poop before the shower, it doesn't happen. [01:50:12] Speaker A: I wipe. 85% of the time I'm in the bathroom is wiping. I really take care of business back there. And if I get a Little sweaty. I'll just sort of feel it and be like, yep, gotta. Yeah. And there's. There's an American. [01:50:29] Speaker B: That's how I am. [01:50:30] Speaker A: There's an American dad episode that I actually quote all the time. They are. They're talking about going out and doing something, and Roger just goes, if I'm gonna go out somewhere, I need to. How do I put this wipe better? [01:50:52] Speaker B: Dude, do you ever Alabama wet wipe it? [01:50:55] Speaker A: No, I've never done that. That makes me sick. [01:50:59] Speaker B: I have to, dude. Like. Like, because I do the dry wipes. I do dry wipes, but I'm so accustomed also to, like, a nice wet wipe. You know what I mean? We're all Alabama wet wiping. [01:51:10] Speaker A: Well, we've got wet wipe, wet wipes here. But if I'm at work, it's just never. [01:51:16] Speaker B: It's. That's what I'm talking about. Public restroom. [01:51:18] Speaker A: Yeah. I can't. It's not ideal. I'm like. I'm really in a bind if I'm pooping at work because that toilet paper makes me bleed 100% of the time. Not that far into the process. So, like, I've almost never been able to finish wiping at work. [01:51:39] Speaker B: I'm not a public unless I have to be. [01:51:41] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:51:42] Speaker B: Like, there has to be some bubble guts going on. But in those situations where I'm in a public restroom, I'm definitely Alabama wet wiping this thing, dude. Like, I'm dry wiping, dry wiping, and then my last two, I'm spitting on my toilet paper and. And giving myself a nice little wet wipe. [01:51:58] Speaker A: I don't know why that doesn't sit right with me. [01:52:03] Speaker B: Hey, what do you think about now? I brought this up at work. Somebody said they had. They had. They were using a porta potty and they. They pooped and it hit the water and splashed up on their butt. And my response was like, that sucks. Because, like, at home, that nice little kiss on the butthole is nice, but in a porta potty, it's a whole nother. A whole nother beast. [01:52:30] Speaker A: That's blueberry splashback. [01:52:33] Speaker B: Yeah. Do you like it at home, though, when the water just kind of. [01:52:36] Speaker A: Kind of? Because it's like the start of a wet wipe. [01:52:41] Speaker B: Yeah, it's a refreshing. It's refreshing, bro. I'm not gonna lie. It's a nice little cold kiss. [01:52:46] Speaker A: Although there's an angle at which it's too much. If it goes, like, into my open it can. It doesn't feel nice. It feels violating. [01:52:56] Speaker B: That's what I'm talking about. Bro, that's the kiss and the. The kisser. [01:53:00] Speaker A: No, I don't like it. [01:53:01] Speaker B: Straight cheeks is when I get annoyed. [01:53:03] Speaker A: No, no, no, not butt cheeks. [01:53:04] Speaker B: I like it straight on. [01:53:05] Speaker A: There's a difference between hitting the butthole and, like, going up into the butthole, and, like, there's an angle at which it. It really, like, gets up there, and I don't like that. [01:53:18] Speaker B: I like it anywhere close. [01:53:20] Speaker A: I'll keep that in mind. [01:53:21] Speaker B: If you're in the. [01:53:22] Speaker A: If you're in. [01:53:27] Speaker B: It's just a nice little, like, oh, that was nice, because, you know, you just got done doing that little. Little stomach exercise, getting it all out, and then it's just like, boop. And you're like, wow, that was nice. Like, little reward. It's. It's things like that. It is. It's like, thank you, God. Yeah. You know, like, you got to enjoy now. You know what I needed. Yeah. I didn't even know I needed that. Yeah. And you gave it to me. [01:53:51] Speaker A: You gave it to me. [01:53:52] Speaker B: You know, it's not even something I can manifest. You know what I mean? [01:54:00] Speaker A: Oh, boy. [01:54:02] Speaker B: Dude, I'm having horrible back problems, but every time I breathe in, I can imagine this is what a broken rib feels like. [01:54:11] Speaker A: How do you know it's not breathe in and, like. [01:54:15] Speaker B: Because I haven't done nothing on my back to break a rib. [01:54:17] Speaker A: Okay? [01:54:18] Speaker B: It's right next to my spine. It's a muscle right next to my spine. But, like, when I put pressure on the muscle, it feels great. Like, it. You're like, ooh, that muscle's sore. But if I'm not doing that and I'm just, like, sitting down and I get up and I take a deep breath, I'm like, oh, it, like, takes my breath away, bro. [01:54:35] Speaker A: You got a heating pad? [01:54:38] Speaker B: Oh, you know what? That's a good idea. I do have. [01:54:40] Speaker A: The only thing that helps my back these days is a heating pad. [01:54:46] Speaker B: Didn't think about that. See, that's why I like to converse with old men. We always got those tricks. [01:54:53] Speaker A: We. It's coming for me. [01:55:01] Speaker B: You have a good night, man. I love you. We'll talk during the week, and I look forward to next Wednesday. All right, If. If I te. If you text and I don't answer, just call, okay? Because sometimes, well, I don't hear the beep, but sure, I do hear my ringer. [01:55:19] Speaker A: All right, this has been Pseudonyms. Have a great week. [01:55:26] Speaker B: Yes, it has. [01:55:27] Speaker A: Bye. [01:55:27] Speaker B: Bye. All right. Love you, man.