052: Technically / Violent Sexual Energy

[00:00:00] Speaker A: You know what? I think this is almost one where you gotta, like, put a clip of the end at the beginning. You know what I'm saying? [00:00:09] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:00:10] Speaker A: Because it got better as it got closer to the end. All right. Yeah. So the question that I asked if. I don't know if you were recording about you being suicidal. Are you suicidal? [00:00:26] Speaker B: No, I am not. But if I was, that's what I would say. [00:00:31] Speaker A: Okay. So that's kind of what I feel. I feel like if you want help, you're like, yeah, I'm suicidal. But if you're serious about it, I don't think you ask for help. I don't think you say you're suicidal. I mean, everybody knows that's. That's like the oldest trick in the book. Suicidal. And the next thing you know, people are at your door trying to help you, you know? [00:00:52] Speaker B: Yeah. And I think that's why women have higher rates of attempting, because it's really an attention thing. [00:01:03] Speaker A: Yeah, but I thought last week we discovered that women have lower rates of attempting and guys have higher rates. Not last week. [00:01:10] Speaker B: They have higher rates. They have higher rates of succeeding. [00:01:14] Speaker A: Well, because we're men. Naturally. Good at. [00:01:21] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. [00:01:22] Speaker A: All right. So the reason I asked that, dude is because I was like, man, like, this dude's always in a good mood. And then I wondered, what if it's like one of those videos where, like, they show the dude he's life at the party, he's laughing, he's having fun, and then, like, that thing comes up. It's like three days later, he committed suicide. [00:01:42] Speaker B: I will say I've had thoughts of, like, funny ways to do it, you know? [00:01:52] Speaker A: Like, what are some of your funny ways? I'm kind of curious. [00:01:54] Speaker B: Oh, you know, just like, waiting until I'm out in public and I, like, accidentally spill a drink on myself at Starbucks and then I just, like, take a gun out and blow my head off in front of everyone. [00:02:08] Speaker A: I'm not gonna lie, that would be a trip to see. [00:02:10] Speaker B: Dude, you imagine Nick Swartz had an old joke where he said if I was gonna do it, I'd go into a crowded grocery store and I would just scream, who fucking farted? And then just blow my head off. People be like, dude, I don't smell it. But it must be really bad because that dude just blew. No. You know, but no. Nothing ever. Seriously. Although. Although in the last, I don't know, four years, I have started to feel like, yeah, someday I'm gonna close my eyes and I'm never gonna wake up. Isn't that great? But it's not. It's not suicide. [00:03:03] Speaker A: No. [00:03:03] Speaker B: It's just the inevitability. [00:03:06] Speaker A: I could tell you right now, when you have those fucking moments, it's that damn paddle board. You're on the paddle board out in the water, you're laying down. Waves are gently moving the board, and you're looking up at the sky and you're just like, there's gonna be a day where I wake up and I feel this every day. [00:03:26] Speaker B: You know, I never thought about it that way. I was gonna say, that's the only time I want to live. I get back to shore and then my wife starts yelling at me. And then. Then I think, you know what? Someday the lights are going off and they're never coming back on. And it's fine [00:03:48] Speaker A: with that. Let's see what's. Well, in your. I've thought this through a couple times. What in your. What in your thoughts would be the best day to commit suicide if one was to do it? [00:04:02] Speaker B: I know what you're gonna say. [00:04:04] Speaker A: Have I said it before on this? [00:04:06] Speaker B: You have said it before your birthday. So everyone can just get the one day out of the way. [00:04:12] Speaker A: Yeah, [00:04:15] Speaker B: that's really smart. I've never thought about that. But, you know, a little time, I would actually go off season with it. [00:04:26] Speaker A: What do you mean, all season? Like on a fucking summer suicide? [00:04:30] Speaker B: Yes. Suicide season is fall, winter, right around the holidays. And so not only are you fucking up everyone's holidays, you're fucking up the summer now. [00:04:43] Speaker A: Like, I'm going to be at the beach. Like, this is so. This is the fucking day that died. [00:04:49] Speaker B: Yes. Literally, that's what's going to happen. You're going to be at the beach and you're going to realize, oh, yeah, this is the. You're not going to be at a gathering or anything. For me, it's not going to be like every day. You know, every year, the day before Thanksgiving, everyone has to think about it or whatever. [00:05:09] Speaker A: I prefer that over summer. Like, this is a good time of the year. I don't want to think about. That's a bummer. It's a bummer. Should be here. That's what we're going to be doing the rest of the day. Oh, said your name, like, several times. [00:05:24] Speaker B: I just realized. I just realized. Well, let me counter that if it was like my dad or my sister, here's my thoughts. Christmas is finally magical again because of my little girl. She loves Christmas and we've all grown to love it because she loves it. So much. And now you're gonna fuck up Christmas. Like, if you did it two days before Christmas, fuck you. That's crazy. You're fucking up the only good day of the year for everyone. Like, dude, yeah, whatever. He flips me off. [00:06:07] Speaker A: I can tell you right now, I'm at the beach, right? We're kicking in the sand. I look down my feet. I kind of bring up my toes. Sands falling through, you know, sifting through the toes. I look out at a distance and I see a. What the fuck are you doing? Do you ruin my story? I'll tell you that much. What are you doing? I look out at a distance and. And I see someone out there, almost as if they're standing on water. And my day of joy in the sun turns into I miss Joan Rivers. That would be. That would be him out there on his wake, on his paddleboard, and. And, guys, let's just pack it up and go home. I'm kind of bummed out. [00:06:58] Speaker B: Damn. [00:06:58] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:07:02] Speaker B: To know my wife. I know for a fact that wouldn't affect you. [00:07:06] Speaker A: My wife is going to be like, man, Joan ruins every summer day. [00:07:12] Speaker B: I know for a fact that you would keep on trucking, and it just. It would be just fine. Maybe a couple months you might think [00:07:22] Speaker A: about me because I lack empathy. [00:07:25] Speaker B: Yes. You're going to move on. It's fine. [00:07:31] Speaker A: All I'm saying, baby, that dude was a jackass, okay? Who does it during summer? [00:07:37] Speaker B: All I'm saying is that if it was one of us, the other. The other one is gonna mourn a lot harder than the other. What? I would mourn. I would mourn you a lot harder than you would mourn me. [00:07:57] Speaker A: Damn. You know, I want to argue that and. [00:07:59] Speaker B: Yeah, you do, but you can't. [00:08:04] Speaker A: Damn, that's harsh. Well, I call you Joan because she's always dishing Hot Topics. When she was alive before she said all that about all that that got her killed. So you're Joan tonight. [00:08:22] Speaker B: All right, well, I'm gonna. I'm gonna group it up by theme, and I'm gonna call you Chelsea. [00:08:30] Speaker A: Which one? [00:08:31] Speaker B: Rivers, lately. [00:08:34] Speaker A: Handler. Yeah, that's what I thought I would have settled for both, bro. Actually. [00:08:40] Speaker B: Wait, what was the other one? [00:08:42] Speaker A: Joan Rivers daughter. What was her name? [00:08:45] Speaker B: Oh, really? [00:08:46] Speaker A: She. [00:08:47] Speaker B: I don't know her name. Chelsea. [00:08:49] Speaker A: Oh, I thought you said Chelsea. [00:08:52] Speaker B: I did, yeah. Chelsea Handler. [00:08:54] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Melissa Rivers. I was way off. [00:09:02] Speaker B: She's somebody, too, right? [00:09:04] Speaker A: Swami. SW Swam. Swami swam. No, Samsonite. I was way off. She has. She had a show for a while, bro. She actually used to host with her mom and thought she got her start the red carpet and. And then she kind of has her own little gig and her own little show for a while. She's pretty famous, but, you know, she's an equestrian and author, TV show host. Yeah. You know how rich people have a lot of going on. [00:09:34] Speaker B: Yeah. Joan Rivers got, like, semi canceled. Obviously, it didn't affect her in the long run, but there was a. You know the restaurant that was in the World Trade Center. [00:09:51] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:09:53] Speaker B: When. Do you remember what it was called? [00:09:56] Speaker A: No, no, no. Oh, let me guess. Also center of the World. [00:10:02] Speaker B: Dude, you're so close. Windows on the World. Windows on the world. And after 9 11. She was saying something about, yeah, I had lunch with a friend. We had lunch at Windows on the Ground. And it wasn't the time. It wasn't the time to be making jokes like that. In my opinion, it's always the time, but America said no. [00:10:33] Speaker A: Yeah, [00:10:36] Speaker B: Windows on the Ground. [00:10:38] Speaker A: Welcome to Pseudonyms, everyone. We're. [00:10:40] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:10:41] Speaker A: Continuing our. Our Hot Topics, which is why I Can I say Chelsea Handler. [00:10:47] Speaker B: It was. It was great last week. These are great questions. [00:10:52] Speaker A: You know what I thought? I read through the second six, and I was like, yeah, okay, we can make something of these, but they're there. And then I noticed a table of contents on the right. And I was like, food and drink. Hot take questions, social media, lifestyle, daily habits. So I just clicked on the Food and drink. Just clicked on it. Check it out. First of all, they start with a picture of the elf eating spaghetti and syrup. So that already tugged on the heartstrings. You know, we were just talking about Christmas. How sentimental we get, you know? Yep, that's our. [00:11:25] Speaker B: How sentimental I get. [00:11:27] Speaker A: Yeah, that's our Christmas story. You know what I mean? Kids in the 80s had the Christmas story. We have the elf, definitely. [00:11:36] Speaker B: So it's crazy how fast it became a classic. [00:11:41] Speaker A: All right, Detour. Let's talk about this. I'm gonna say with Christmas season right around the corner, this is a great topic. [00:11:51] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, we're about halfway to. It's actually the 25th. We're halfway to Christmas. [00:11:57] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, we are. So. Okay, let's talk about. No, we're a little over half. Right. We're. Oh, yeah, we are. The six months still. Oh, we're halfway. Okay. What is in your mind? Christmas in a movie. Like, if you. [00:12:15] Speaker B: If you got Die Hard. We're talking about Die Hard, right? [00:12:19] Speaker A: You got one. You got one movie to sit down with your daughter, rest of your life. That's the only movie you get on Christmas. What are we watching? [00:12:27] Speaker B: Ooh. Or I'm going to tell you right now. [00:12:30] Speaker A: What do you. Growing up? This twofold. I want that one. And then when you were growing up, what was your, like, Christmas movie of the year? [00:12:41] Speaker B: Okay, that. Those are really good questions. [00:12:43] Speaker A: Thank you. [00:12:44] Speaker B: Do you want to answer first? [00:12:46] Speaker A: Nope. I want to hear your first one and then I'll go. And then you go. And then I go. Okay, so answer the first part. You got one movie. Watch with your kid, rest of your life. [00:12:56] Speaker B: Knee jerk reaction is elf. But I'd have to really think about that because there are a lot of. Oh, you know what I should do? I made a Christmas category on my letterboxd account. Perfect. I will cut out the silence while we. [00:13:20] Speaker A: Hey, would you. Would you consider yourself a hipster? [00:13:26] Speaker B: I never got a clear answer as to what that was, but people have called me that, so sure. [00:13:34] Speaker A: Okay. Wow. Then I'm gonna refrain from how I was gonna describe it. So that works. Well, when I think hipster, I think man gay. I think, you know, like, because you just literally was like, you know what? I made a Christmas list on my letterbox and I was like, that's something a hipster would do. And that is more gay than I'm willing to tread in my metrosexuality. [00:14:03] Speaker B: No, to me, a hipster is like. [00:14:07] Speaker A: But they have a look of a man. [00:14:10] Speaker B: Like, a couple weeks ago, you asked me what my favorite band was. [00:14:16] Speaker A: Yep. [00:14:16] Speaker B: And I said tight. I said tiger Army. Now, that's not really a hipster band, but it is a pretty not well known band. They were. They were definitely big like 20 years ago, but not really. Yeah, never. They were never commercially successful. So for me to have like my favorite band be kind of an off the track band, and then like, if they got really popular, I'd be like, ooh, you really should have heard them back in 2000, bro. [00:14:46] Speaker A: I feel like that's a hip. [00:14:47] Speaker B: Exactly, exactly. That's what I'm saying. That, to me, is what a hipster is. It would be like if they became huge two years from now, I'd be like, ooh, you like the new stuff? You should really check out music from Regions beyond because that's. [00:15:00] Speaker A: I'm really record. I'm looking at you liking them as a small band, as a hipster move before commercial. [00:15:06] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, I would say that. [00:15:08] Speaker A: So I define a hipster. Okay. Trevor to me, embodied a hipster, okay. [00:15:17] Speaker B: Oh, absolutely. Like the beard, the rustic decoration. [00:15:22] Speaker A: It was kind of Like Renaissance. Yeah. Meet slumberjack. You know, he had the beard. He looked like a man's man. And then you'd be like, hey, can you hang that picture for me? And then. And then he's like. You know, it's kind of like a deer. Like, it's all. That's why I say I think man first. Because they always have a manly look to them. [00:15:45] Speaker B: Yes. [00:15:45] Speaker A: You know, the big beards, they. They're. They're a little more refined in some areas, but then it's all really a front, and that sounds horrible. It does. It's not. It's not intended to be a front, but it's deceiving. [00:15:59] Speaker B: No, it's a style. It's a style. [00:16:01] Speaker A: Yeah. But it's deceiving because you think, oh, this is a. This is a man. He writes, man. He's a little refined. And then you're like, hey, man, can you tighten that screw on that doorknob for me? It's a little loose. And they're. They're like, what's this? And you're like, that's. That's a flathead screwdriver. They don't know the difference between. If you say, give me a Phillips screwdriver. [00:16:24] Speaker B: Oh, off. They'll never figure that out. [00:16:26] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. [00:16:28] Speaker B: They're like, you need a crisscross. [00:16:30] Speaker A: Yeah. You know, they're like, what about a Trevor screwdriver? And you're like, no, no, no, no, no, no. I need a. Like a Phillips, bro. [00:16:40] Speaker B: You know, I don't know who Philip is. [00:16:42] Speaker A: Yeah. Does he go to our church? [00:16:45] Speaker B: You know. You know what else is the pipe, the whiskey. That's a big hipster thing. Although I'll say, I think hipsters have pretty much died out. There ain't a lot of hipsters left. [00:16:59] Speaker A: They're not. And. And I. I kind of contribute that to the Gen Xers. Yeah. Because we were like, hey, little. You know, like, you think you got it rough because, you know, it's just. Yeah, there was a lot of people. [00:17:15] Speaker B: Sorry. Another thing that screams hipster to me is irony. So, like, I'm gonna wear, like, a motorcycle vest, and underneath it, I'm gonna have, like, a Golden Girls T shirt. You know, something like that. [00:17:33] Speaker A: You know, I guess I can see exactly what you mean. However, I have a Golden Girl sweater [00:17:42] Speaker B: that. Well, I like the Golden Girls. I love them ironically. But if you like it because, like, get it. It sucks, you know? Like, that's. That's the hipster thing. [00:17:52] Speaker A: You know, you, like, have all these. You're Like, I too, like a hipster like them, but I like them for different reasons. [00:18:02] Speaker B: Well, they don't like them. That's the hipster thing. They don't like it. [00:18:05] Speaker A: Okay. [00:18:06] Speaker B: It's like, no, this sucks. [00:18:07] Speaker A: Look, I think they do like it. [00:18:13] Speaker B: I think they maybe secretly. [00:18:14] Speaker A: Yeah, you're just a little more open because you're anonymous right now. [00:18:19] Speaker B: Maybe. [00:18:22] Speaker A: That's such a hipster move. So, okay, so we. We derailed. Christmas movie. You got one. [00:18:31] Speaker B: Christmas movies. [00:18:32] Speaker A: What's your little red box say? [00:18:34] Speaker B: I've got. I've got. If it's gonna be just with my daughter, I'm gonna go, Elle. [00:18:40] Speaker A: It's forever, though. It's forever. Rest of your life. [00:18:43] Speaker B: Well, hold on. I gotta bounce some things off you before I answer. On that list, I have stepbrothers. Because Stepbrothers happens. Kind of a Christmas movie. [00:18:55] Speaker A: It does happen, but if I have [00:18:56] Speaker B: to watch it with my daughter, I'm not gonna pick that one. I'm gonna pick Elf. I also love Gremlins. [00:19:03] Speaker A: Mmm. [00:19:04] Speaker B: And I think she's. Maybe she's only five years away from being able to watch Gremlins. So for most of her childhood, it could be Gremlins, but I'd have to go with Elf. [00:19:20] Speaker A: You have to go with what? You're choppy Elf. [00:19:23] Speaker B: I'm gonna. Sorry, I'll turn my wi fi off. I'll go with. [00:19:27] Speaker A: You're going to. Okay. [00:19:31] Speaker B: And then what was the second question? [00:19:34] Speaker A: Second question comes after my answer. [00:19:37] Speaker B: Oh, right. Okay, go ahead. [00:19:39] Speaker A: I'm going with National Die Hard. [00:19:42] Speaker B: Okay. All right. I appreciate that. [00:19:45] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:19:46] Speaker B: I. I'm gonna be honest, and I want to say something without anyone getting mad at me. The last time I watched it, I really felt like it didn't hold up. [00:20:00] Speaker A: So the last time I watched it was really the first time I've ever watched it. And that was like two. That was like two years ago. And I was like, ah. Like, I get it. Like, oh, wow, that was. That was a big one. [00:20:16] Speaker B: You heard that one? [00:20:19] Speaker A: I was like, I get it. Like, the whole. The whole thing of it. Of the dysfunctional family, the, you know, like, the. The chaos, the wanting to. You know, you got your check coming, your bonus, and then you don't get one. You're like, this is. It's all just kind of funny. It is older, but when I saw it, I was like, that was actually funny. However, runner ups for me are Elf and Home Alone. I don't know what it is about Home Alone. I love the whole Mousetrap part Of it, dude. Mousetrap was one of my favorite games. [00:20:59] Speaker B: I like Home Alone. I can't say I love it. [00:21:04] Speaker A: I love it. Yeah. [00:21:08] Speaker B: Although every time I watch it, I enjoy it 10 times more than I thought I would. So maybe I'm in that same mind frame right now where I just, like, think it's not good. And then when I watch it, I'm like, oh, this is the best movie. [00:21:21] Speaker A: Yeah. The other one. [00:21:24] Speaker B: Plot holes, though. [00:21:25] Speaker A: There's some other backups I've seen, but it's usually like Thanksgiving is playing. Trains and Automobiles, however, revisiting real quick or we talking about. What was that last movie you were talking about? Home Alone. [00:21:41] Speaker B: Home Alone. [00:21:41] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah, I love it. Okay. That's where I was going with this. I found my way. I think for overrated is Christmas Story. [00:21:54] Speaker B: Yes. [00:21:54] Speaker A: I think that's so overrated. Like, I as a child hated watching that movie. It was so long. It. It's never ending. Story meets, you know, fucking Christmas. That's what it was like to me. It was like, when the. Is this gonna end? [00:22:11] Speaker B: I gotta fact check something. So there I'm gonna see what the runtime is. Because I've become aware of a phenomenon [00:22:24] Speaker A: when run times actually went to like, two hours, when they used to be only like 80, maybe 60 minutes. [00:22:31] Speaker B: No, a lot of channels will play it on a loop, so a lot of. A lot of people think it's a lot longer than it is. [00:22:43] Speaker A: No, I think it's a lot longer than it is. [00:22:45] Speaker B: Ready? [00:22:46] Speaker A: Hold on, hold on. I'm gonna tell you first. I'm gonna tell you first. It wasn't so much the loop effect. I've watched it from beginning to end. It is not long. It is long because it's. Sucks. [00:22:57] Speaker B: Oh, it feels long. Okay. [00:22:59] Speaker A: Yes. There's like two or three good scenes. Tongue stuck to the, you know, pole, you know, the. The finally shooting the Red Rider. The. There's like a couple. I hate the lamp. Everybody from the 70s and 80s, like, they're like, oh, you know what I want to get for Miami wants to get that lamp just to have. I'm like, oh, for like. For like Christmas. [00:23:22] Speaker B: Oh, that's what this is all about. [00:23:23] Speaker A: Okay, well, no, no, but I think about this. A lot of older people think that lamp is cool. I don't think it's cool. I don't think it's a cool lamp. I think it's a stupid looking lamp. [00:23:34] Speaker B: I think it would almost be cooler if not for the movie. [00:23:38] Speaker A: Well, that's why a lot of these People that say they want the lamp. They want the lamp because they're like, it's like in the movie. That's the only place that that lamp made famous. What I'm saying is I would never like. I get it. If you, if she wanted to buy it and have it up during Christmas season. Connecting the dots. Christmas story. It's Christmas. But if you think like, oh, I think that is like pop culture. I'm gonna keep up in my house because it's cool. Pop. Culturally, you're. That is not a cool lamp. We all get it came from the Christmas story. We none of us hold the Christmas stories. Our favorite Christmas movie. So your lamp sucks. [00:24:21] Speaker B: You are passionate about this. [00:24:25] Speaker A: It's so annoying, bro, because the movie sucks. What's the runtime? 70 minutes. [00:24:31] Speaker B: It's 93 minutes. It's just over an hour and a half. [00:24:35] Speaker A: Yeah, it seems like forever when you watch it, [00:24:40] Speaker B: you know, but I've had, I've literally had people. That's why I had to check on it. Because I've had people actually tell me with all sincerity that it's a 24 hour movie. And that's why they play it all day long on, on certain channels during Christmas. Because it's actually like 24 hours long. And if you're jumping in and out of it all day long, like your channel surfing, which nobody does anymore, but back in the day, if you were like channel surfing and you stopped to watch it two or three times, you might get that idea because you saw a couple different scenes, but it was playing all day long, you know? [00:25:18] Speaker A: So here's my thing. I'm not one to watch a live action movie with commercials. Like, even when we were younger, if it was on tv, I was very rarely watching it. If it's a movie, show different. But a movie is kind of like, like, man, you're losing me, bro, on every commercial. So if it, if I couldn't watch it on Cinemax Showtime, I didn't really watch it. So yes, we would probably have it on. I'm not sitting watching through commercials too. That movie sucks alone. It doesn't need commercials to help it out. [00:25:53] Speaker B: I don't, I don't feel as strongly about it. It's not my favorite, but I like it just fine. [00:25:59] Speaker A: I thought I was gonna feel that way about the Griswolds, but it wasn't the case. Second question was, what was your childhood? Yeah, what was like your childhood? Nostalgic. Like that was on because like your family, it was a tradition more or less in Your family. Not because it was on in the background on CBS. It was actually on. [00:26:23] Speaker B: I was 11 or 12 when Elf came out. So once Elf came out, it was Elf. But before that, the closest thing we had was A Christmas Story. Like, I can't really think of any movies that we watched every Christmas. [00:26:42] Speaker A: My mom was big on Gremlins. Yeah, she was big on Gremlins. And I don't. I honestly don't think of Gremlins as a Christmas story until people say, like, oh, Gremlins. When you're on my Christmas, you're like, fuck. That whole thing was at Christmas time. That's why he got the gift. [00:27:00] Speaker B: Yeah. And a runner up. Again, not one I would pick with my daughter, but in 10 years, she'd. She'd probably with this movie big time. Just friends with. [00:27:16] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah, [00:27:19] Speaker B: Amy. Smart. What's the guy? Oh, Ryan. He's Wolf, he's Deadpool. What's his name? [00:27:31] Speaker A: Oh, Ryan Reynolds. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:27:32] Speaker B: Ryan Reynolds. Great movie. [00:27:36] Speaker A: I would go with almost because I think he's funny. The Santa Claus. [00:27:45] Speaker B: Okay, that's another. [00:27:47] Speaker A: I like Tim Allen's humor. [00:27:49] Speaker B: I just saw it for the first time, like, two years ago, and I was in kind of a bad mood when I watched it. And I think that colored it for me big time. [00:28:03] Speaker A: Which I didn't care for it. What are they. What's your name? Saint Nick. You know, it's. And then he's like, santa. Close. Popo, you know, great, dude. [00:28:21] Speaker B: I'm sure. I'm sure it's better than. I think I know it was state of mind. [00:28:26] Speaker A: I thought it was clever because of the play on claws, the Santa Claus. So I thought that was clever even when it first came out. I'm like, that makes sense. That's clever. The second thing, catching that for the [00:28:38] Speaker B: first time, I didn't even realize that. [00:28:41] Speaker A: Yeah, that's why he had to become Santa. Because of the claws. When you kill Santa, you got at the end. [00:28:46] Speaker B: There's. Yeah. At the end. That I never noticed. Yeah, I'm a published writer. [00:28:53] Speaker A: The second part is when he's like somebody. You've never. Have you ever seen Santa Claus or the North Pole? So how do you know it's real? And the kid was like, you ever seen a million Dollars? Like, no. He's like, how do you know it's real? And it's like. That was pretty decent. I like that. [00:29:11] Speaker B: That's some good apologetics. [00:29:14] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, I've used that, actually. I'm not gonna say. Oh, I didn't want to say, but I've used it in apologize for sure. All right, man. I want to jump into some of these questions. Did you briefly read through set like 7 through 13 on that last list? [00:29:29] Speaker B: I did last. [00:29:30] Speaker A: Any of them stand out? [00:29:31] Speaker B: But if you want to do food and drink. [00:29:34] Speaker A: Well, I mean, I jumped down to food and drink, and some one were like, is breakfast really the most important meal of the day? Should pineapple belong on pizza? Is a. Is coffee a lifestyle essential or just a social. Social acceptable addiction? Fast? And I was like, these are. These are. Actually, I could deal with some of this shit. [00:29:53] Speaker B: Yeah. I didn't realize that there were more questions below the ones we were doing last week. [00:29:58] Speaker A: So we got a good year's worth on these of material here. [00:30:01] Speaker B: Yeah, I think we should maybe do everything on this page. [00:30:06] Speaker A: We just pivoted to a Hot topic fucking podcast. [00:30:10] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, until we. [00:30:15] Speaker A: Is breakfast fucking the most important meal of the day? Just clever marketing. I think we both understand that it's clever marketing. [00:30:23] Speaker B: I never thought of it, of the marketing angle. Like, what. Who is trying to do that marketing? [00:30:30] Speaker A: It was actually started in the 70s by Kellogg. [00:30:34] Speaker B: Son of a bitch. [00:30:35] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:30:36] Speaker B: No way. [00:30:37] Speaker A: And then they got with the banana industry and said, hey, it's actually corn flakes with bananas. That's like, great source of potassium. Yada, yada, yada. This is the most important meal of the day. And yeah, that's. And then that's how it kind of started, with bananas. And then they've even put coupons for free bananas and discounts on bananas in cereal boxes. [00:31:04] Speaker B: Wow. [00:31:05] Speaker A: So you can buy them both. So I don't know, man. Knowing what I know now about fasting, I actually don't think it's the most important meal of the day. [00:31:15] Speaker B: I don't have breakfast. I've never been a big breakfast guy. I remember, even as a little kid, we had to go somewhere super early in the morning, and my mom was, like, trying to make sure that I had, like, energy. Like, I don't. I don't want to have to worry about you eating in an hour. So she was, like, trying to get me to eat a banana in the car. And I, like, thought I was gonna throw up. I was literally like, like, oh, wait, are you supposed to peel these things? No, I just, like, I've. I'm not. Not hungry. I am completely unappetized in the morning. [00:31:57] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, I get it. I get that. Yeah. So, yeah, I do think it was just clever marketing. It's like oats. Oats are Good for feeding horses. That's about it. Otherwise they're. They're not great for us to, to consume. [00:32:10] Speaker B: But they're not high in protein. [00:32:13] Speaker A: No. [00:32:14] Speaker B: Oh, really? [00:32:16] Speaker A: Yeah, they're more of like a filler. Well, that's how they market it to us, dude. [00:32:20] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:32:21] Speaker A: You know, and they like. [00:32:22] Speaker B: And, and, and they have steel cut, which makes it sound cool. [00:32:27] Speaker A: Yeah. You think next week you're chiseled. Yeah. You're not. [00:32:31] Speaker B: I'm gonna be steel cut. [00:32:35] Speaker A: All right. This is one that, that I think gets brought up a lot and I think people get judged off of it. Almost like. Do you wear mask? Do you or do you not wear masks? Are you vaccinated or not vaccinated? I think pineapple on pizza is one of those things where people like, judge you, you know? [00:32:50] Speaker B: Yes. This is ridiculous. [00:32:53] Speaker A: By the way, what's your take? [00:32:56] Speaker B: I'm not gonna say my take yet. [00:32:58] Speaker A: You. [00:32:59] Speaker B: I'm gonna say. I'm gonna say if you give a. What someone else puts on their pizza, you're a loser. [00:33:09] Speaker A: You're at a party big enough for one big ass pizza and they want pepperoni and pineapple or pineapple and Canadian bacon. You happy about this? [00:33:17] Speaker B: Has that ever happened ever? [00:33:20] Speaker A: Okay. [00:33:20] Speaker B: It's never the only. [00:33:22] Speaker A: Let's give you what really happens. Let's give you what really happens. [00:33:25] Speaker B: It's a supplemental pizza. [00:33:28] Speaker A: Let's walk through what really happens. There's four pizzas, right? You get a slice, everybody's digging in. You go back for slice three, four maybe, or even maybe number two. And all of them are gone except for the fucking pineapple pizza. And you're looking at it. You're like, that's the only pizza left that has happened on several fucking several occasions. So don't sit here and act like it. Don't you happy about that? [00:33:53] Speaker B: I'm stoked because I love pineapple on pizza. [00:33:58] Speaker A: But I, I really thought you weren't. I really thought you weren't a pineapple pizza guy. [00:34:04] Speaker B: I tried to make it sound like it. [00:34:10] Speaker A: Yeah. So here I am thinking you're was going to be on my side and you're not at all, like completely. [00:34:16] Speaker B: No. [00:34:17] Speaker A: That was a good job though. So let me pose this to you, okay? You stay in the night, we're having a little guy's time, catching up on some, and I'm like, you know what, dude? Hey, I. I think I'm gonna make some pizza. You want one? You're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. What you got? I'm like, oh, dude, I got some ham I start with some fucking ham. I'm throwing it down. You're like, fuck, yeah. And then I'm like, ah, bro, hey, I'm all out of ham. You cool if I throw some fucking strawberry on it? You're gonna be like, yeah, let's. [00:34:52] Speaker B: Okay, so here's what I want to say. [00:34:54] Speaker A: Bro, it's fruit. Bro, it's fruit. [00:35:00] Speaker B: Okay, so the pineapple is sweet and the ham and the pepperoni is salty, right? [00:35:10] Speaker A: I. I don't know. I. I wasn't sure if I went black forest ham. [00:35:14] Speaker B: You don't know? [00:35:14] Speaker A: I don't know if I'm going black forest or if I'm going honey baked, if I'm buying it from the store. [00:35:21] Speaker B: It's more the listeners at home. For the listeners at home, Chelsea has gotten out of their seat. It is crouched, yelling into the camera. Okay, well, let me tell you if you don't know. Let me tell you. The pineapple is sweet. The ham and the pepperoni are salty. It's a salty and sweet taste, like salted caramel. [00:35:49] Speaker A: Oh, I can't wait. I can't wait till we see each other. If you like. If you like salty and sweet, I got something right up your alley. Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks, bro. [00:36:06] Speaker B: Blow job still a job. So that's the appeal of pineapple on pizza in the first place, is a sweet and salty. Okay, so I don't know what ham and strawberry would taste like. Or do I? [00:36:24] Speaker A: Well, let me ask you. [00:36:26] Speaker B: Or hold on. Nope. Hold on. Have you ever had strawberry pancakes? [00:36:34] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:36:36] Speaker B: Okay. You ever had any sides with that? [00:36:40] Speaker A: Nah, usually don't do that. No, I like chicken and waffles. Don't get me wrong. It's that. Right? Almost right up the same alley, but it's not. [00:36:56] Speaker B: You're so serious right now, you have to stop. [00:37:00] Speaker A: But, dude, I don't mind. I've learned. I've learned to put up with pineapple on my pizza, you know? Oh, yeah. It's not a big deal. However, if I'm worried, I'll never order pineapple pizza unless somebody at my gathering that I'm hosting is like, yeah, pineapple pizza. It's just fucking weird, dude. Why. Why just pineapple? [00:37:26] Speaker B: It's not my first choice. [00:37:29] Speaker A: Sounds like it. [00:37:33] Speaker B: You resent me so much for this. All I'm saying is that I've had ham and strawberry on the same plate before. I've never taken a piece of ham and, like, forked a strawberry on the same fork and eaten it together, but there's been syrup on the plate that I've definitely ran the ham through. For sure. [00:37:58] Speaker A: Yeah. They complement each other [00:38:02] Speaker B: okay. So I have no idea if strawberry and ham would taste good together. Maybe it would miss fucking. You know what? If you did that? If you did that, I would be like, you know what? I trust this guy. Let's see what he's bringing to the table. You know, literally. [00:38:18] Speaker A: All right, I'm gonna find a sauce to match that shit. We're gonna have it. It's gonna be. Would you like marinara pesto or cool Whip? [00:38:35] Speaker B: I. I'll go marinara. [00:38:37] Speaker A: I'm going Cool whip. All right. Is coffee. This one? This one. Is coffee a lifestyle essential or just a socially. Socially acceptable addiction? [00:38:56] Speaker B: I've heard an anecdote. [00:38:58] Speaker A: Wow. That I like where this is going. People. [00:39:01] Speaker B: People from other countries are blown away that we have coffee in the courtyard of church and we would just drink it during church or right after church or before church. Because in some countries it is sort of viewed like alcohol. It's sort. It's a kind of an. A mind altering substance in a sense. [00:39:30] Speaker A: Yeah. Well, we're in America first and foremost. I get what you're saying. I see how we abuse it. For sure. Man kind of didn't look at it like that until you brought that up and he's like, okay, well, we gotta face the facts. Yeah, I guess you're right. However, I look at it as like a lifestyle, bro. Yeah, definitely. A lifestyle essential. Could I live without it? I can live without anything, you know, Is it gonna suck for sure. You know, for a little bit and then you just forget about it. However, I take comfort in my coffee. I take comfort in making it. I take comfort in sitting down with a good book and drinking it. Take comfort in pouring it over some ice and running out the door. Like, it is one of those things that can only be made better on a beach with a fucking cigarette about to start a hard day's work. I loved working with bat for that reason. We'd get up early, we'd meet early at the material shop, right on Dana Point. You got the breeze coming in, standing outside, it's got just that brisk air. You're having a Camel filterless fucking cup of like, good null coffee, you know, and you're just like, this is great. Now, mind you, I'm not a snob. If it's fucking 711 coffee, you put it in front of me, I'm gonna drink it. However, if I'm making it, I want something nice, you know, Want something frothy. Out of the Nespresso or want to like a French press or drip, you know, I wanted, like, grind it up. I want to smell it, I want to fucking put it in, and then I just kind of want to enjoy it. And the only thing I think I'm missing, this is how I know it's a fucking lifestyle. Because I'm missing shit now. You know, the only thing I think I'm missing is a cup that keeps a temperature, one of those electric ones. Because, yeah, I'll get caught up in a couple chapters, and then it's cold because it's cold in my. My apartment. You know what I mean? Yeah. So. [00:42:01] Speaker B: Well, first I want to know what kind of coffee you're making at home. Like, what brand? But I will say I had the electronic cup, and by the time I used it the second or third time, it wasn't. It wasn't keeping its charge more than like 10 minutes. [00:42:23] Speaker A: Would you buy? There are. There are superior brands in that industry. [00:42:29] Speaker B: My wife got it for me, so I don't remember the brand, but it was like the main one, like the one that all the influencers had. [00:42:37] Speaker A: Okay. So I got the original one. I don't know if it's the same one you're referring to when it first came out. There's a couple company that, like, this was their thing. This is what made them. Now, I know now there's several brands of it, but when I first bought, it was for the ex as a gift to keep her tea warm while we kicked it outside and talked. She liked it. She's not a techie. Let's just say that, like, it worked for her every time she used it. She was not someone that would want to go rinse it out, put it on a charger, you know, it came with, like the plate charger, you said, on its old dish and fucking charge. She was not that person, but for some reason, she didn't give to me. She sold it, you know, so. [00:43:26] Speaker B: My God, she sold it? [00:43:29] Speaker A: Yeah. I don't know. [00:43:31] Speaker B: Used cup. [00:43:33] Speaker A: Well, I mean, like, she didn't offer a. Dude, she's like, hey, do you have any use for this? Would you use it? No, dude, it was like she used it for like a month or two and then never saw it again. And then like six months later, she sold it. [00:43:47] Speaker B: Wait, you were together when she sold it? Yeah, bro, that's batshit, right? Yeah, sold it nuts. [00:43:56] Speaker A: Yep. All right, so this is what I'm. This is what I'm grinding right now. It's Beach City Coffee roasted in Los Angeles. Let's see. Don't care about the fair trade. It is organic. It's whole bean. Because I like to. I have a hand grinder, which I kind of enjoy and times I don't. Also, don't get me wrong. [00:44:19] Speaker B: How long does that take? [00:44:21] Speaker A: It takes about the same amount of time as the water to get to 195. Oh, okay. And then it's this flavor. I did their. Their black last time. Like just their. Their regular. This one's mango caramel. Clean, bright, 100% Fair Trade organic coffee. So I started looking into, like, coffees in the sense of what's good and bad for you. The worst, the best for you is something Stump City or thing. [00:44:52] Speaker B: It's Stumptown. [00:44:54] Speaker A: Some town. Yeah, yeah. That's the best. That's the best one for you. One of the worst ones for you. The worst one is like Dunkin Donuts. The second worst one. Oh. Is Starbucks. [00:45:07] Speaker B: Those are because the pesticides. Yeah, buddy. [00:45:12] Speaker A: The pesticides and the travel time. [00:45:15] Speaker B: So my wife used to work at like an artisan coffee shop in Lake Forest. So she would bring me like, the Ethiopian. [00:45:26] Speaker A: Ethiopian. Yeah, yeah. [00:45:28] Speaker B: It was so. It's the best coffee I've ever had in my life. It was so good. [00:45:32] Speaker A: Padres, same thing. El Padre, he's a coffee guy and he always gets the Ethiopian. [00:45:39] Speaker B: That there's a specific Ethiopian. And I wish I remembered what it was called. I think it was Gucci, like Guji. But it had this rich, dark taste that I've just never tasted anywhere else in anything. But when she stopped working there, I started getting. I tried like a bunch of the grocery store coffees. And by far the best one that you're gonna get at a grocery store. Dunkin Donuts. It's. It's a really. For what it is, it's a 10. It's a $10 little can. But like, it's really good. And so when we moved to Oklahoma, we got a Costco membership and I would just buy like the huge thing at Costco. For years now my wife is at another chain of coffee shops and they. I love their instant coffee. It's like the only good instant coffee I've ever had. And let's just say it's one of the ones you mentioned as a bad one. [00:46:54] Speaker A: So those were actually the top two before number one. You just said it. Number one is instant coffee. It's Nestle Cafe. Instant coffee is the number one worst coffee for you. [00:47:06] Speaker B: Oh, okay. [00:47:08] Speaker A: Yeah. The other ones were. [00:47:10] Speaker B: I also, when I run out of the instant packets that she gets me from her work, I have the Trader Joe's instant coffee. I. I misspoke when I said it was the only good one. Those two are the only good instant coffees I've had. Trader Joe's, I bet, is not as bad for you, but. He left the call. What are you gonna do? I thought that was it, dude. [00:47:40] Speaker A: I just. [00:47:40] Speaker B: I thought that was the end of the fellowship. I thought you were like trader Joe's. [00:47:46] Speaker A: I was like, damn, my ear itches. I took out my earpiece and then just hung up. And I was like, is that because my earpiece came out? I don't know. Okay, so do you believe it's. It's essential. Mine does too. It's not for me. It's not feel. It's. It's a button. Yeah. For me as well. I think. [00:48:02] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:48:03] Speaker A: I think most Americans, even though. Whoops. I think most Americans, even though maybe they don't realize it, like, Miami's addiction is Starbucks. She doesn't. She doesn't necessarily. Like, she'll make coffee on weekends and in the morning before she goes to work, but every day before work, even if she has a cup at the house, she stops by Starbucks and gets her order. And, you know, it's one of those extravagant ones with a bunch of shit. That's her essential, you know, like, that's what. That's what she does. It is. I think it's both. It's an addiction and a fucking became a life essential because of an addiction. [00:48:42] Speaker B: Yeah, but I mean, it's. It's not terribly different than alcohol. You get together with friends to have a couple of beers. You know what I mean? Like, there's a social aspect to it. [00:48:54] Speaker A: There's a small. [00:48:55] Speaker B: Yeah, like, you can't drink and drive. [00:48:57] Speaker A: Yeah, well, I mean, I'm just sipping, you know what I mean? But I get what you're saying. On the social aspect of things, like doing the business development, I'm sending out emails to say, hey, if you are interested in, like, getting to know what we do, how we could help one another, like, let's get coffee or dinner while I'm in town. Coffee is because I'm there for two days. I'm targeting so many people, and I might just have a bunch of fucking coffee get togethers. You know what I mean? [00:49:26] Speaker B: But, yeah, you can't have six lunches. [00:49:29] Speaker A: Yeah, but the alternative, because I'm working with Claude to fabricate these things, the alternative is drinks at night. So they say, hey, like, open it up. For cocktails and coffee so you can knock out more meetings without fucking having to eat at every fucking one. [00:49:46] Speaker B: Yeah. Have you had an espresso martini? [00:49:50] Speaker A: I have. My Bartesian makes them. So, you know, you put in the little pod. I've had that. I've had the kettle ones that are come. They come pre made. I've had the. I want to say captain or what? Jack Daniel. Not. Not Jack Daniel. Is it? Captain Jack, [00:50:07] Speaker B: Captain Morgan. [00:50:08] Speaker A: Morgan. There you go. Captain Morgan makes one. I've had those three. They all pretty much taste the same to me. [00:50:17] Speaker B: I've never had one. But since we were talking about coffee and alcohol and they're so popular right now, I just. [00:50:22] Speaker A: They're good. If you like coffee. They're good. Yeah, they're a drink. They're like the Red Bull vodka you're mixing like basically espresso with. So like you're getting drunker, but you're also getting a lot. A lot of energy, you know? A lot of energy, you know. And then you wake up the next morning, you're naked. You don't know what happened that night. Like, she's getting up and getting dressed. So you just kind of act like you're still asleep because you don't want to have to deal with it. And you're like, I don't remember us coming in here. Like, I just remember dancing and singing and then this, you know. [00:51:02] Speaker B: Wait, is that the story? [00:51:04] Speaker A: What? [00:51:06] Speaker B: The story you've told a couple times where you're like, I have no idea, but maybe. [00:51:11] Speaker A: Yeah, when I. When I was telling the therapist, like, I don't. I don't have an. I don't know, but if I was a betting man, I probably did. And she got upset. [00:51:19] Speaker B: So that was Espresso martinis. [00:51:21] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Espresso martinis. Because, dude, like, honestly, your energy doesn't fail you. You dance all night and. Because you're just tossed them back and you have all this energy in the moment, I'm sure I didn't feel drunk. I probably felt like fucking. Fucking no Black street or fucking Bob C. Or whoever the fuck was on the radio. Pretty sure I embodied them in that moment. And then I'm pretty sure there was probably some good intimate moments that followed that. And the next thing you know, I'm waking up, but somewhere in there I just remember singing and then waking up. So the blackout definitely happens pretty quick. [00:52:05] Speaker B: So I wish that coffee didn't affect me the way that it does. [00:52:12] Speaker A: Give you the shit. [00:52:13] Speaker B: Because. Well, that. But that's like a feature Not a [00:52:17] Speaker A: bug, you know, I'm talking about I, [00:52:21] Speaker B: I want a cup of coffee right now. It would be delightful to have a cup of coffee while we're having this conversation. I agree, but it's, it's 10 o' clock and I won't be asleep till 6am If I do that. [00:52:37] Speaker A: Well, that's why I do go to decaf at night. [00:52:40] Speaker B: Yeah, I've had decaf at night and it's not much better for me. Although it's been like 12 years since I've tried that, so maybe I could give it another try. But do you find coffee affects you to the point where like you shouldn't even have a cup with dinner, like an early dinner? [00:52:57] Speaker A: I just never really have there. I can't say never really have. I have, I think maybe on two occasions where like I'm still doing regular night, I'm not trying to stay up. Like I've definitely had coffee at night when I'm like we're gonna do an all nighter, you know. But on nights where I'm like, oh, I do have to get up at 3:30, I'm gonna go to bed. Well actually, shit, dude. There was a time that it was when I was hanging out with Rock. There was a time where I put cold coffee next to my bed and took a couple swigs right before going to sleep. It would help me wake up easier in the morning. [00:53:36] Speaker B: Yes. [00:53:38] Speaker A: So before it kicks in, I'm out. But I don't get it. Like, you know, I know I'm probably not reaching my full potential sleep, but in the morning I'm up and going, [00:53:47] Speaker B: heard that's really good for a nap. If you have like an espresso right before you fall asleep for a nap, you'll wake up from the nap and not feel groggy. [00:53:57] Speaker A: Yeah, that's kind of how you feel when you sleep. So two folds on that. I would take like two swigs before going to sleep. Go to sleep as quick as I can, like just relax, go to sleep. And then when I wake up and maybe I didn't really feel rested but I got up, I would take a couple other couple swigs if I want to hit snooze, you know, and kind of go ahead and hit snooze and then fucking hop at it next time. But that was short lived. That was maybe for a couple months but like as of like oh man, I want a warm cup of hot cup of coffee and sit by the fire. But then go to bed, you know, and enjoy My sleep. I, I, I want to say yes. I've noticed it affect me. My mind's not at rest, you know? [00:54:47] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:54:47] Speaker A: My mind's just racing. [00:54:50] Speaker B: It just seems like in the old days, people would do that all the time. Like, they're always having a coffee, like, after dinner, you know, like, let's retire to the parlor and have a cup of coffee and a cigar after dinner, you know, Like, I'm not gonna lie. He's doing that. [00:55:07] Speaker A: I do that. I, I'm not. I do do that. Like, if I'm at a restaurant that offers coffee or espressos after meals, I'll get it 100% of the time. [00:55:16] Speaker B: See, I want it, but I know that I can't. [00:55:20] Speaker A: I don't. So I didn't think about those moments when you asked if I have it night. If I go to a restaurant again, if they have it, I will do it. I don't. In those nights, I don't really monitor if it affected me or not. Okay, where if I have a cup of coffee and I'm sitting at home, I'm almost thinking, like, am I setting myself up for failure here? You know, where when I'm out, it's, I'm like, cool. It's gonna help me digest just, like, what I just ate. [00:55:51] Speaker B: That's how I look. [00:55:52] Speaker A: That's how I look at it. [00:55:53] Speaker B: That's. If I eat too much, oh, I want a cup of coffee. Because it just makes everything. It's not like I'm gonna shit myself. [00:56:02] Speaker A: It's like the oils kind of just digestion settle it down. Do you feel. You feel a little better? You could. I feel like you burned some of it off Anyhow. I remember growing up, all my grandparents, like, uncles, grandparents. [00:56:16] Speaker B: Yes. [00:56:16] Speaker A: Whoever was at the house, drinking coffee, playing King's Corner, or fucking, you know, like hearts, you know what I mean? Like, they were playing a card game, drinking coffee all night. The coffee pot maker didn't stop. [00:56:35] Speaker B: Yeah, see, I love that. I want that. I want to just always have coffee going. [00:56:42] Speaker A: Yeah, times are simpler back then, bro. [00:56:45] Speaker B: Yeah, it probably wasn't as strong. That's probably really what it was. [00:56:49] Speaker A: Well, I think that's like. Yeah, I almost agree with you. Because I think, like, weed back in the day wasn't what it is today. You know? Like, they'll tell you, like, the weed that we smoked in the 90s is not the same weed you're smoking today because of technology and advancements, you know, like, yeah, just, just transfer of the beans themselves has gotten 50 times quicker you know, the processing of all that shit's got quicker. So yes, I do think they're more potent. And plus we didn't have like, fucking death punch, throat kill back in the day. You know what I'm talking about? You know which one I'm talking about, right? That, like, kill coffee or whatever. [00:57:28] Speaker B: It's called Black rifle. No, it's not Black Death wish. Death wish. [00:57:33] Speaker A: Death wish. It's death wish coffee. [00:57:35] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, man. Okay, so I didn't know that there's coffee in Kahlua. So. Six, seven years ago, it's Christmas time. I decide I'm gonna have a couple White Russians after dinner. You know, I've never had one. So I bought a bottle of Kahlua, bought the vodka, whatever I needed, mixed it up. I was like, this is delight. I mean, this is my drink now. This is delightful. Had a second one, chased it right after. Just bam, bam. Right after dinner. I'm laying in bed at 4, 4:30 in the morning, just laying in bed, my eyes just glued to the ceiling, and I'm like, what the is going on? Like, why can't I fall asleep? Google it. Sure enough. Yeah. So it's kind of, its whole thing is that it's a coffee liqueur, and I just didn't pay attention. [00:58:35] Speaker A: So my, I've really only ever had Kahlua or Bailey's with coffee. [00:58:42] Speaker B: Okay. [00:58:43] Speaker A: You know, little morning pick me up. Yeah, yeah. [00:58:48] Speaker B: Never done that, but I should try that. That's, that's the way to do it. Next time, there's time off at Christmas. That's got to be an afternoon drink. [00:58:59] Speaker A: So you know what I've done? You know what I've done lately? There's liqueur, it's called like 49, something like that. Let me, let me read what it is. So I'm gonna grab it real quick. I'm gonna read what it is. Because I went to this restaurant called Origin, and again, we, I, I, we had the dinner there. And I said, you know, I had the, the grilled octopus. So I was like, you know what? That's a little rubbery. It's probably gonna be really fucking shitty to digest. And I was like, hey, do you guys have, like, offer espressos? And he's like, no. Well, we got this, this drink. It's, it's, it's espresso, blah, blah, blah. And you, you like for, for digestion, you should probably order one. It helps you with, with that. And I was like, all right, cool. It's called Liqueur 43 Looks like this. [00:59:53] Speaker B: Okay. I think I've seen that bottle. [00:59:55] Speaker A: I've never seen it before that night, but it is. It is commonly sold. It's a secret Spanish family recipe of Mediterranean citrus fruits infused with selected botanicals. But basically, they pour, like, a shot of this with a cup of espresso, and then they pour it on ice. [01:00:21] Speaker B: All right. [01:00:21] Speaker A: Fucking phenomenal. Phenomenal, bro. So there was, like, a couple days where we were slow, and I was like, you know what? It's gonna pour that in my morning coffee. You know, couple shots got to be equivalent. And yeah, man, it was a damn good coffee. It's like. It's like somebody was like, hey, you want me to make you a good coffee? And you're thinking all these sweeteners are going to go in all these different syrups, and. And they just grab a bottle and they're like, pop, pop, pop, pop. And then you. Dude, fucking so phenomenal liquor for coffee, bro. It really is. All right, moving on. Do fast food chains taste the same worldwide, or does local culture change? The. [01:01:18] Speaker B: I haven't. [01:01:19] Speaker A: Like, do you think. Do you think a Big Mac tastes the same in China as it does here? [01:01:28] Speaker B: I want to say the meat's probably all coming from the same place and then being shipped out to these places, so. [01:01:36] Speaker A: Probably, yeah. I think someone like McDonald's would have their game tight like that. [01:01:41] Speaker B: Yeah, I think there are some chains, like Burger King, I want to say, where, like, the names of the foods will be different, the meat will be sourced differently, like, all that stuff. [01:01:59] Speaker A: Okay, well, I say I'm not culturally diverse enough. [01:02:05] Speaker B: I haven't. Yeah, I haven't tried. I've literally never left North America. I've been to Mexico. I've been to Canada, but that's it. So I. I wouldn't know. But I'll tell you where shit is not the same at McDonald's, and that's Santa Rosa, New Mexico. When we were moving out to Oklahoma, we stayed the night in Santa Rosa, New Mexico. And let me just get you started. We. We stopped at the Days Inn in Flagstaff, and I was like, this place is cheap, but it's delightful. This is a nice little room. Like, cool. We're only staying at Day's Inn for the rest of this trip. So we stop at the Days Inn in Santa Rosa. Not only is there no one at the counter to greet us because they're in the other room napping. There's fucking scorpions in the room. The sheets are dirty. They have, like, clearly pubes on the sheets. Like, you can make out that they're pubes all over the sheets. Terrible. So I go to McDonald's the next morning because I'm like, well, this will be the same. This will definitely be the same. I get a couple sausage McMuffins. I get a large iced caramel iced coffee. Not something I would get today, but that's what I was into at the time. I guess. The sausage McMuffins had no cheese on them. I said, hey, why is there no cheese on these? They're like, oh, they come with cheese. And I'm just nodding and I'm like, so the iced coffee was. I can only describe it as a large cup of tap water. There was, I want to say, no more than two ice cubes in it. There was maybe a squirt of caramel and coffee grounds at the bottom that you would suck up in your straw every time you took a sip. So I was like, how the fuck is McDonald's not, like, a standard enough? Like. Like, shouldn't there be a standard, like, at least nationwide for McDonald's? [01:04:32] Speaker A: So is it safe to say maybe it's economically different, but not really? [01:04:38] Speaker B: I think. I think the. The IQ is different. I think the people making the. Is different where you go. [01:04:46] Speaker A: I. I definitely think quality goes down in lower income areas. I will say that. [01:04:51] Speaker B: Well. Oh, you know what's crazy? When I first moved to Oklahoma, the Uber driver that picked us up at the airport, or, sorry, I was visiting before we moved, the Uber driver that picked us up said, oh, you're moving here from California. You should sell some of your clothes here, because clothes from California go for a lot more. And I was like, buddy, I buy my clothes at Target, it's not gonna go for more. He's like, no, no, no, no, no. Even at Target, the clothes in California are nicer. So I'm like, gotta check this out. I went and picked up this, the same exact pair of jeans that I bought at Target in California in Oklahoma. Clearly a different material. It did not feel as nice. [01:05:41] Speaker A: Really? [01:05:42] Speaker B: Yeah, it was the same brand, same size, same everything, but just a different material, just a lesser quality. [01:05:50] Speaker A: That's nothing. [01:05:51] Speaker B: So it's. It's like, is it not economical for you to, like, give them better materials because they'll put up with it or, like, income areas? [01:06:01] Speaker A: So probably lower prices. You probably didn't pay the same price. [01:06:06] Speaker B: No, it was. It was comparable pricing. And I mean, it's in. [01:06:10] Speaker A: Yeah, but comparable what? Comparable to California to Nebraska wages? [01:06:16] Speaker B: No, I mean, If I paid 25 bucks for them in California. They were 25, maybe 23 in Oklahoma. Like, they, they weren't that different. [01:06:27] Speaker A: There's where your two bucks went. Let me ask you this. This is something that I've talked about quite a bit. Is sparkling water refreshing or fizzy disappointment? [01:06:43] Speaker B: At first it's a fizzy disappointment. Now I'm used to it. Now I know what I'm getting. So if I'm not trying to have a soda, I'm delighted by a sparkling water. But the first couple times I tried it. Nah, fuck that. [01:07:02] Speaker A: That. No, I, I actually enjoy sparkling water. Always have. I love, like, it sounds so fancy and it's not like Don Perrier. Love Don Perrier, you know, Like, I've always liked it because of the fizz. Like, it's water but better. You know what I mean? Like, you didn't think water could get any better When I had my sodastream, I would just fizz my water. I would just carbonate my water. That's about it. [01:07:34] Speaker B: I don't know about that. Yeah, the plain ones. The plain ones are kind of gross [01:07:41] Speaker A: to me, I think nowadays, I think nowadays with all the like clawfoot white claws and like that, like, I think, I think they've kind of ruined sparkling water for me a little bit. Well, sparkling water used to be a thing, like, I enjoyed. And sometimes now I drink. I'm like, fuck, this tastes like a fucking White claw. [01:08:08] Speaker B: Mmm. [01:08:09] Speaker A: It's it and White claw. Now when I think of white claw, just think of fucking heartburn, you know? [01:08:15] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:08:16] Speaker A: Drink three or four of those and you're fucking dying, dude. [01:08:20] Speaker B: That's just all three or four is pretty crazy. [01:08:26] Speaker A: All right, well. All right. Fuck, dude, I don't like the plant based one. I think that's a stupid question. Should, should plant based meat replace traditional meat restaurants? No, no, they should just have the option. Is fine dining worth the price or is it all smoke and mirrors? [01:08:52] Speaker B: I think we're gonna disagree on this because you're some. You're something of a fine diner. [01:08:59] Speaker A: You're not. [01:09:00] Speaker B: And no, I mean, I've never had the money to. To find. [01:09:07] Speaker A: If you could you not want to, [01:09:10] Speaker B: I would definitely try it. It's not like I've never been to a nice restaurant, but it's not something I ever choose to do for myself. [01:09:21] Speaker A: You spend, you go to the movies ever? [01:09:25] Speaker B: Not really. [01:09:27] Speaker A: Okay, well, I figure movies, you're going, you're not learning about the person, you're watching a film. But dinner. Take the money from the movies, put it towards your dinner, there's 50. Take your dinner money and add it to your dinner. Should be another 50 more, and then add a little more and then fucking spend three, four hours having dinner, talking and fucking enjoying, like, being waited on. Like, I like fine dining for that purpose. I feel like it's an. More of an experience than, you know, plus good food, you know? That's why I like fine dining. Not to say, though, that there aren't hole in the walls that are just, like, fucking authentic nostalgic. They hit every button, you know? But if you're asking me, like, hey, you want to go to, like, maestros, or you want to go to Roscoe's? On the house, we're going maestros all day. Yeah. Yeah. [01:10:28] Speaker B: So my concern, when I've had maybe not nicer food, but more expensive food, I will often feel like that wasn't enough food. Like, I didn't get enough. And, like, my idea of, like, a really nice restaurant is, like, lots of food. Okay, We've got, like, a slice of this for you. Take. Take this slice. Enjoy this. And then they do that, like, 20 times instead of just giving you, like, a big meal. [01:11:05] Speaker A: So there's definitely a difference in, in, in. That's why I say it's covered. Because, like, you go to, like, some of Tom. Tom Colicchio's restaurants, and it's like, you want a steak with asparagus. What's two different things, bro? Your steak is separate from your asparagus. However, you get enough asparagus to feed the fucking table. It's like a family order, but it's not coming with your fucking meal. Like, you have to, like, y' all want asparagus? No, you don't. Like, you know, we're just gonna be wasting it if it's just for me. And then you end up ordering, like, five, six sides. Because everybody kind of wants something a little different. But they'll have some asparagus. But, you know, they really wanted the potatoes and the broccoli. Broccolini, whatever. They do have bigger portions, but then you're spending tons of money. That's no fun. Now you're just worried. You're worried that you're going to be able to. How am I going to make rent? Who I got? I could borrow. Okay. Yeah. You know, I did pay him back last month so I could borrow some more from him. You know what I mean? Like, you started doing that. What? What? What A decent, nice restaurant where you can go in. I do do three. Three courses. Like, I'm having An appetizer or two that we're sharing. Having my main meal, having some dessert. And yeah, I'm gonna follow it with, With. With some sort of espresso or something. So I understand there's gonna be some money in it. We're gonna be here for a little bit. I'm gonna make a little bit of. I'm gonna make a night out of it. So all my funds for the night of the. We're going to carnival or whatever. We're not doing that. We're going to a nice restaurant, sit down. We might go do something afterwards, but it ain't gonna be. It's gonna be romantic, like a walk in the park, you know? I mean, when I say romantic, I mean like I'm not dropping another couple hundred to do something else with you tonight. But you know, dude, you get some oysters maybe. Yeah, small, small fish or fucking steak. You learn real quick. If you want more food, you go ribeye because you're probably gonna get it 8 ounce or bigger. If you want taste or flavor, you're going with the filet and it's gonna be six ounce, you know? Mm. So I don't know, man. I. I think I. I'm in. I say all this. I think I'm in for the fine dining, just for the experience aspects. [01:13:40] Speaker B: Sure. I've probably just never done it right. I know for sure I've spent way too much money on a meal and left hungry. And I think that's turned me off of that. [01:13:56] Speaker A: Well, I think that's also why I like to do all three courses, because it's just enough. I think back in the day, right now, like, if I go to in and out, I'm only eating the burger. I can't. I'm not putting down the fries. You know what I mean? Like, I'm full off the burger, the double. And I don't need the fries, but. [01:14:16] Speaker B: Yeah, the fries. [01:14:17] Speaker A: I know you are. [01:14:19] Speaker B: And it's a 4x4. [01:14:22] Speaker A: Yeah. And the fries are animal style, no onions. [01:14:27] Speaker B: Gross. [01:14:29] Speaker A: We could get without onions. I'm sure maybe never tried it. It's not really animal style. It's fucking mammals. [01:14:37] Speaker B: Just Thousand island dressing. What was I gonna say? Fuck, it's gone. Nevermind. [01:14:51] Speaker A: Okay, so when. Let me walk you through a fine dining experience. [01:14:55] Speaker B: Oh, hold on, hold on. [01:14:57] Speaker A: I knew. I knew you'd bring it back. I knew it would. [01:15:01] Speaker B: The other night I went to a dive bar with my buddy. We each had two beers and we split a pepperoni pizza. How much do you think that cost? [01:15:18] Speaker A: 50. [01:15:21] Speaker B: It was closer to 60 or 70, but yeah. So I. I don't know what a. What a nice restaurant's gonna cost me. It could be $2. [01:15:35] Speaker A: That's where you got. You have to do your research. So, like, if it depends where your pockets are at, there are some times where I'm like, I'm going because I've heard great reviews. There's. So I started off with research. What are some of the more spectacular buying dining restaurants? I'm looking the areas, then I'll pick. Then I'll come down to like two or three. That's when I now go to menu. What's on the menu? What are we looking at? Okay, she orders that. Order that. Okay, okay. 10, 20% tip, 25. Whatever. Okay, cool. You're just sitting there doing math that has dictated where I ate. Still had a great experience, you know, but the times where I don't have really a budget or a limit, I want. I want a view. I want to call, make reservations, and make it seem special. More special than what it is. You know, when I made reservations for the last client dinner, I said, we're hosting clients. And I was told. Told to choose this place because our owners are mutual friends. So I e. Give me a good table. Now, when I went with a date last time, when I went with a date, not last time, but before it was, hey, we're. We're celebrating our anniversary. It could be two weeks. Don't give a. We're celebrating something. She means she's really special to me, so I'd like a table that kind of impresses her. And they'll usually want to be like, matchmaker. Make the moment. Describe your table to you. Oh, we're gonna give you one. It's on the second deck. You have a 180 view of the. Of. Of the fucking hills. Whatever. Cool. I don't care. But when we go in now, I want to be special. And when we go, I'm ordering for her. She won't get order. She'll need a menu. In fact, I usually have what we're going to order ready when we get there. And then we'll just both look over the menu. When he comes, I'll say, for the lady, I'd like to order xyz, and I'll be having your xyz. Don't know why, but they fucking eat it up, bro. [01:17:55] Speaker B: Really? [01:17:56] Speaker A: Fuck yeah. Especially if you can nail what they like. Like, if you've got a couple hints on what they like, you know, just from conversation, what's what's your favorite food? You know? Oh, sushi. Okay, like, so what kind of sushi? You like sashimi or you just like, like what roles are you going with? So now we go there. I could pick a role that's similar. But I already know all this because I get to study it online. The one I look at their menu online, study it, figure out some shit. Okay. You know, data, controversial shit. This is, this is not a shotgun raffle prize at a fucking school conference, okay? This is not like, let's fucking, you know, where no, you know, abortions, wrong shirts at a fucking school rally. This is, this is, let's play it safe. We're not ordering octopus or cal the calamari because we don't know if she likes that yet. You know, however we go safe. Everybody likes shrimp, so we're going. Some shrimp cocktails, some shrimp ceviche, you know, thing of seafood. Not everybody likes oysters. I love oysters. And they're an aphrodisiac. That's a twofer, kind of a no brainer. But some women, some women don't like the way it feels in their mouth. That tells you another thing about them. So now that you know they don't like it in their mouth like that, then you know that, you know, she [01:19:14] Speaker B: might, you could probably piece out. [01:19:17] Speaker A: Yeah. You know, she's probably gonna finish you off with the hand job and not keep it in the mouth when you start pulsating, you know? [01:19:24] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:19:27] Speaker A: So, yeah, it tells you a lot about, about that. But then again, she could be a wild card. She could just say, no, I don't like, I don't like my oysters like that, you know what I mean? [01:19:37] Speaker B: Or she might just take them and start deep throating them, throwing them. [01:19:44] Speaker A: There's that. Yeah, there's that. Maybe she likes to taste the oyster differently, you know? What the is this? It's off. Yeah, maybe. Maybe she likes it to suck on it a little bit, you know what I mean? And flick it, you know, and diddle it for a little bit. Me, you know what I mean? Ma', am, Maybe you got, maybe you, you know, maybe you got a, a double, double spy, you know what I mean? All right. Do food delivery apps make us lazy or are they saving us time? They're saving me time. I'm not paying double the cost of what it would normally cost if I drove there because I'm lazy. Doing it because I'm lazy. I don't want to get my ass up and you're saving me energy from Putting on my shoes. You're saving me time. Damn it. It's both. [01:20:52] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, yeah, by definition, it would be both. [01:20:57] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:20:58] Speaker B: I have pre ordered food and just gone to the front of the line to pick it up. That's really helpful if you've got a 30 minute lunch break, but I've never had food delivered. [01:21:14] Speaker A: Really? [01:21:15] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:21:16] Speaker A: What is it for you? Is it. Is it. [01:21:20] Speaker B: It's the price. It is almost. [01:21:23] Speaker A: I didn't want to say that, but that's what. What I was gonna lead with for sure. [01:21:26] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:21:28] Speaker A: It's. It's. It's ridiculous, dude. [01:21:31] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm trying to think, man. Have I ever done that outside of [01:21:36] Speaker A: like ordering pizzas through their fucking, like, calling or their app? [01:21:40] Speaker B: Okay, I've done that. I've. Yeah, I've ordered a pizza on the app to have delivered, but not different, bro. [01:21:48] Speaker A: Yeah, that's. Yeah, pizzas are different. [01:21:49] Speaker B: We always had pizza delivered. [01:21:51] Speaker A: Yeah, that's like a. A staple. The McDonald's, the grocery store runs all that. Nae nay, nay. I do it because I'm lazy at times and my kids, like, I might be in the middle of something. They. They're hungry and I'm like, well, what do you want? Let me order a pizza now. I want chick fil A. All right, let me order chick fil A. I'll just have it dropped off. Like I. I got to do. Or maybe I'm playing video game. Maybe I'm just lazy. But I'm. I'm. It has to be worth it for me to pay those prices. Like, I don't just willy nilly do that. That's not just something like, it's a Tuesday and I'm doing it. [01:22:29] Speaker B: Yeah. I will say I drove for Uber Eats for a minute and the drivers ain't making shit, so that money's going to the. The app company, which. [01:22:45] Speaker A: Well, all you're making is that fucking tip, dude. That fucking. [01:22:48] Speaker B: No, I would get. Like, it was all mileage. [01:22:52] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:22:53] Speaker B: It was calculated on mileage and time and all that. So, I mean, I had runs that were $3 plus tip. I had runs that were $10 plus tip. You know, it all kind of depended but didn't make good money doing it. But I will say, one time I delivered a fat. Like, I think it was Wendy's and it was a bag and a drink. Dropped the bag at the door, took my picture, left. I was already en route to the next delivery when I realized I forgot their drink. I. The drink is in my cup holder right Now I forgot to give them the drink, and I drank that shit. [01:23:40] Speaker A: No, I did. [01:23:42] Speaker B: I couldn't. Dude, dude, dude, dude. I was on. I was on route to the next delivery already. [01:23:50] Speaker A: I don't give a fuck. Dude, here's the thing. [01:23:52] Speaker B: Couldn't. [01:23:53] Speaker A: I was on the other end of that, where I'm like, yeah, I don't [01:23:57] Speaker B: feel good about it. [01:23:58] Speaker A: X, Y, or Z, whether it's a drink, a fry, whatever. Now, one, I got the hassle of trying to go back in the order, figure out in the app how to make a complaint that I didn't get my whole order, which is not easy all the time. They make that a little difficult. You could Google it and it makes it easy. But you're just trying to enjoy your company or your movie and your food. You just want it to be like, hey, did everything get delivered? No. Fucking no. What was missing? And there have been times where I'm like, hey, dude, I will tip you an extra $5 if you go grab my fries and bring them. Because I honestly don't feel I should be tipping you. You had a job to deliver a whole meal. Take the receipt, take the bag, check that shit against each other. Deliver that shit. But I'm willing to. To pay for your mistake and give you an extra $5 because I was looking forward to the whole meal. And when they say no, or they take your fucking another exam, they take your fucking Carl's Jr. Points. Anyhow, when they say no, I'm a little pissed. I'm a little pissed. So. [01:25:03] Speaker B: Well, so when that happened with. So. So sometimes they'll calculate it for you so you pick up three orders in a row and then deliver them all three people in a row. [01:25:19] Speaker A: That other bullshit. That's another bullshit. [01:25:22] Speaker B: So now, like, I'm getting held up on my next delivery that I already have, and I'm already on route to. I. I might have been 15 minutes away by the time I realized that I didn't give them their drink. [01:25:36] Speaker A: So it's like, you're totally right. I would have done the same thing. I think that's on Uber. I don't think if they're gonna have you stop at three different places. Don't give me your location. Fucking make. Make it act like you're still at the restaurant, but don't show me that you're going down another block and then you're stopped. And I hate that shit because I'm like, dude, let me tip you afterwards, then don't let me tip you before. Don't ask me to tip you before, let me tip you after. [01:26:06] Speaker B: But on the what you said about tipping to get the food that was missed, the guy said no to you. I wouldn't have done it either because I don't believe you. [01:26:20] Speaker A: I don't agree with him. [01:26:21] Speaker B: Now I believe you. But I would not believe the average person because I also drove Lyft and I got got a couple times because what would happen is someone got in the car and they said, hey, dude, something went wrong with the app. I meant to book a round trip, but it wouldn't let me book a round trip. So when you get to my destination, can you wait for me and drive me back and I'll tip you like an extra 10 bucks? All right, sure. Zero tip. Zero tip. And I thought, well, you know, that one guy, just an asshole, whatever. It happened one or two more times. And then I realized they're all saying the same exact thing. Everyone gets in this car and says, I couldn't do a round trip. Take me both ways, I'll tip ya. And then no one tips you. So I realized obviously there's like a Reddit page or something where people are like, oh, well, if you want to save a little money, just tell them that you'll tip them for a round trip. So. So I started leaving people, literally. [01:27:33] Speaker A: That's actually cool. Yeah, I did. You would do it? [01:27:36] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah. I just, I was just like, oh, yeah, sure, whatever. And then I'm not getting a tip either way. It doesn't matter to me now. So you're like that callous. Six dollars doesn't give a fuck. [01:27:49] Speaker A: Yeah, after. [01:27:50] Speaker B: Dude, dude. What I'm saying, dude, is if 12 people a day tell you this and you know for a fact you're not getting a tip from any of them, you start. [01:28:01] Speaker A: But I could just see you driving off like in a movie. Like you drop off like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, dude, yeah, I'll be right here, man. All right, man. They leave me like off. [01:28:09] Speaker B: So can I tell you the worst one? I'm going to tell you the worst one. So Lyft had a filter where if you were headed to a certain destination at a certain time, it would only give you rides that got you that direction on time. So when I had to pick my wife up at work at 5, I would set my filter to be the university at five o', clock, so it would only give me rides that would get me that direction. [01:28:37] Speaker A: On your way to university? Yeah. [01:28:38] Speaker B: Yes. So I pick this lady up and I drive her to a daycare where she's picking her kids up. And right as she's getting out, she says, oh, I wasn't able to book a round trip. Could you take me back? And it was like a 15 minute drive, and it's 4:50. I gotta pick my wife up at 405. She's like, could you take me back and I'll give you a $10 tip? Yeah, sure. And she even mentioned. She even mentioned that she waited for me for like two hours because there weren't enough Lyft drivers in the area. She goes into the daycare, I take off, I go get my wife and her. But like, I felt bad because it's like this girl showed up to get her kids and now she's got to wait another hour for a lift to drive her home. But it's like, dude, I know what you're doing. I know what you're doing now. Fuck you. [01:29:35] Speaker A: I'd say, yeah, but you can always say, give me the tip now. I do cash only. Well here. [01:29:41] Speaker B: Well, that's the thing. The way that some. Some people tip me cash. It was rare. [01:29:46] Speaker A: I will. No, no. [01:29:47] Speaker B: The table on. [01:29:49] Speaker A: On the way to your destination, I will stop buying a team of your choice to take out cash. But if you don't want to do that, I can't. I've been scammed so many times now [01:29:59] Speaker B: that that's actually reasonable. But the way that it works on the app is that they don't tip you till the rides over. [01:30:06] Speaker A: Oh, I know that. I know that. [01:30:08] Speaker B: So I don't. [01:30:09] Speaker A: Why can't we do that with Uber Eats and doordash? [01:30:12] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:30:14] Speaker A: You know what I mean? [01:30:15] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:30:15] Speaker A: If you're not gonna bring me my soda, you paid for it, bro. Well, I will say. [01:30:21] Speaker B: I was gonna say I forgot when I realized I'm f. 15 minutes away. I got two more deliveries in the car already. I can't take this guy's soda. That's when the decision was made to drink the soda. But I did say to myself, I did say to myself, I made $3 on that delivery. So if they refund it and they take the $3 back from me, whatever. And if I don't get a tip, I don't always get a tip anyway. So, like, all right, you know, like, I'm willing to lose that. [01:30:56] Speaker A: So, speaking of tips, should tipping in restaurants still exist or should wages cover at all? [01:31:08] Speaker B: I'm a good tipper. [01:31:11] Speaker A: That's what I tell her. [01:31:14] Speaker B: So I feel like I want the option to tip less if I don't Feel like the service was worth it. [01:31:26] Speaker A: Option to tip less if I don't feel like the service was worth it. [01:31:31] Speaker B: Okay, if the waiter is an asshole, I will not tip him zero because he will think it's an oversight. If the waiter's an asshole, I will tip him 75 cents so he knows that shit was on purpose. [01:31:50] Speaker A: I saw this skit, which I actually think is pretty funny. So the skit was, this guy gets his bill, and he puts on there. The bill's like 20 bucks or 40 bucks. He puts on their tip negative 17, and then leaves cash for the $23. The waiter comes up. He's like, you can't do that. And he's like, yeah, it was pretty shitty service. He's like, no, no, you can't tip negative. And he's like, I don't see anywhere that says I can't. He's like, no, no, no, no. Like, you can't do this. Like, that takes money out of my pocket. He's like, yeah, that's how shitty the service was. I like, it was pretty bad. So, like, the manager comes up and he's like. He's kind of right. Like, there's nowhere that says you can't do it. Like, you kind of have to pay $17 of his meal. And he's like, no, dude. So I know it's an exaggeration, but I feel like that sometimes I feel like I. I've been a waiter. I know a good service is. So if I have to ask you more than once, but usually just once to refill my fucking drink because it's sitting here in the ice, is. You see me just fucking sucking on the. The water that melted from the ice cubes. Mm. Come fill that motherfucker up, bro. It's not fucking. This isn't math, so. But do I think it should exist? You what? [01:33:31] Speaker B: I've never been a waiter, but I truly believe that I would be the best waiter you ever had. And my policy. I know it's easy for me to say because I've never been a waiter, but my policy would be half empty. Is empty. [01:33:48] Speaker A: Yeah. I prefer that. [01:33:50] Speaker B: So if you've got half an iced tea, I'm coming with the pitcher. [01:33:54] Speaker A: Yeah. And the pitchers gonna have a shit ton of ice to fall into your cup so that you don't have. [01:34:00] Speaker B: Not on my watch, buddy. [01:34:02] Speaker A: No. But, you know when they fill it back up and, like, now your ice is melted, so you got, like, four loneliers at the top, and you're the rest of your. Your Iced tea is kind of warm. I'd like. No, give me some ice in that. Like. Yeah, you know, just keep it coming, dude. Like, I, I get it. You're gonna be over here more, but make my, my stay here pleasurable. [01:34:23] Speaker B: That depends on what kind of ice they have. If you're rocking like the sonic ice, that'll fall out of the picture real easy. But if it's like the flat. I know, yeah, they're really smooth, but they're flat and curved on. [01:34:41] Speaker A: They seem to melt quicker, bro. [01:34:43] Speaker B: Yes. And they don't come out as easily from the pitcher for some reason. I think they get stuck on the side or something. [01:34:50] Speaker A: But so here's the other thing. Did you know that ice can. Depending on the shape and how it's. I want to say how it's frozen, but the shape, it kind of dictates the life, the, the fucking shelf life of the, of the ice. So certain ice can melt quicker than other ice based on its shape, huh? Yeah. [01:35:17] Speaker B: So I did. [01:35:19] Speaker A: He didn't tell me he built an ice, like a factory for ice, an ice maker. And he was like, the guy told me, like, you know, it's same water, same everything, but because of the shape, they can get ice to last longer. So some places they buy the ice that doesn't last as long as. Because yeah, definitely it's cheaper. Or the machine that doesn't make the ice in the shape that makes it last long. It was. And I was like, are you, like. To me it was kind of like, nah, you're shitting me. And he's like, no, like, honestly, like, this dude walked me through the process, but he never told me what ice cube lasts the longest. I don't think the guy told him. [01:36:00] Speaker B: Let's find out. [01:36:06] Speaker A: But okay, while you're doing that, I think in restaurants when you're waiting on me, tipping is necessary, essential. There are some states where if you're a waiter, you make less than minimum wage because your, your, your wages are tips. [01:36:23] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:36:24] Speaker A: Arizona, I think, is one of those states. Now this is where it gets tricky in those states because. And I think, honestly, I think the coffee industry did to their fucking selves. But when I go in for a fucking coffee and it's just a switch of a handle because I'm getting a fucking black coffee. I don't think you should even fucking ask for a fucking tip. If you're opening a cold brew can and pouring it over some ice, I don't think you should get a tip. You didn't fucking do nothing. It's not like you helped me with my coffee decision of, like, what should I get today? Well, you know, it's. It. We. We did get a fresh. Fresh bag of, you know, Ethiopian guji. You know, there's none of that. They're like, well, you know, the blonde is good. You know, you're like, okay, whatever, you know. But everywhere you go, no matter what service is being offered, whether they're just ringing you up for frozen yogurt or you're getting a black coffee, pour in a regular cup, they have a tip jar or they have something on their little machine that says, would you like to leave a tip today? I'm not paying you five bucks because I ordered four black coffees. Like, that's ridiculous. It's more than a cup of coffee, but it's a quarter of the bill. Like, get the fuck out of here. You get a dollar, I give you a dollar. You split that up with you and your little fucking barista friends over there. Sorry if this hits a little close to home. I'm sure you hate those kind of customers. [01:38:04] Speaker B: No, no, no. [01:38:05] Speaker A: Probably does. [01:38:06] Speaker B: I will say, I agree with you if it's kind of a shitty place or if it's just Starbucks, like, you don't know anyone there. When I went to the coffee shop where I eventually met my wife, I got. I was there every single day on my lunch break. Instead of eating, I would just go there and. And read. So I was friends with all the baristas, all the managers, everyone. So I would tip on like a drip or a cold brew or something because they're all splitting it. So it's like, all right, I'll give you a dollar. [01:38:40] Speaker A: And that's different hardships, like. [01:38:44] Speaker B: But I don't do that. [01:38:46] Speaker A: You go to know everybody and you're just like, hey, like, you're doing it almost as like, I'm your friend, you know, like, you're asking for a tip, I'm gonna give you a good tip. [01:38:55] Speaker B: But that's the only time I've done that in a coffee shop. [01:38:58] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't like regular. The only. What I tip on the regular is $1. Give you $1 for. For you. Just for you being nice, but that's it. I don't care if it's a $30 order, a hundred dollar order, get a dollar. [01:39:14] Speaker B: You know, percentages on coffee is crazy. I get why they do it in the restaurant, but there are some services where it shouldn't be a percentage. Valet. Valet is a couple bucks, no matter what. [01:39:31] Speaker A: I don't think it should be off of percentages at all. I don't care if the restaurant is a five star restaurant or two star restaurant, you should get paid off the customer service aspect. There should be a ceiling. 20 bucks a table, max work from there. You know what I mean? If you're there for an hour. She was very tentative. Give her the 20, you know, but because this stake is $50 here and $15 at Lone Star. But I got better service at Lone Star. Why, why would I be tipping you? You know, I think we expect better service when the dollar amount's higher, you know, for that experience aspect for sure. But I've, I've had bills where you're like, fuck, dude, to tip, I have to leave another hundred. Like, what the fuck? You dropped 200 of it. Oh, 25% tip. You're now at 250. [01:40:36] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:40:37] Speaker A: And you weren't there, but maybe a little over an hour. It's the price of the food and the drinks. Fuck off. [01:40:45] Speaker B: Well, it used to be because they would tax the tips based on the price of the food so that they [01:40:52] Speaker A: spread them out with the. You wanted to boy the cook. [01:40:56] Speaker B: Well, yeah. And you wanted. So you wanted to tax a certain percentage because that's how they're being. Or you. Sorry. You wanted to tip a certain percentage because that's how they're being taxed. But there's no more taxes on tips. So let's change the system. [01:41:13] Speaker A: I, I try and do that every day, dude. But, you know, started with coffee houses. [01:41:19] Speaker B: If, if someone. Wait, like, assuming I have no complaints. So my, my go to is I do the math in my head. I figure out what's 20% and I round up to the next dollar. It's not a crazy awesome tip, but it's, you know, it's better than 15%. [01:41:38] Speaker A: You took the wife out. You guys, you know, you, you got some cash given to you. You go out and to dinner, you drop, you know, you buy a couple appetizers and you know, they're, they're, let's say average 20, some 23, some 17. But you get two of them. You're at 40. Then you're like, you know, what if I think I'm gonna get the steak? She said, you know, I think I'm gonna get the lobster. It's a nice dinner, right? You're at maybe 40 for the steak. That's, you know, low ball in a nice restaurant. And then maybe 60 to 70 for the lobster, depending on how much. So now you're at what, what was the first one? 40. Now, plus we're at 110. So now you're at 150. You get a dessert, you split it because you guys don't need all the desserts. So you're like, we'll just split one. That was another eight right there. We'll just round up 10 to work with even numbers. Now you're at 160. You guys both had drinks. Couple, couple, couple drinks each. 12 bucks a piece. We're going to round down on this and go 10, there's another 40. So now you're, you're over 200. You were there maybe an hour. You think that deems a 50.60$tip. It's ridiculous, bro. [01:43:05] Speaker B: No, that's, that's what I was going to say is like if, assuming I had no complaints with the service, you waited on me for an hour. Well, how's that, how is that worth more than 25 bucks no matter what? 25 bucks an hour, you do your [01:43:23] Speaker A: 20 math on that and then you, you round up the next dollar, you're still leaving a forty something dollar tip. Yeah, that's ridiculous, dude. And I'm kind of with you. I paid less for blow jobs, you know what I mean? And I, that never, that's never a complaint. I've never been like, you know what? The customer service on that was just disappointing, you know what I mean? Like, you could have fondled a little more. You could have talked to like, you didn't even try and warm up to it at all. You just kind of went in like, you know, it's not a toothpaste rush. You know what I mean? You never get that. You're always like, thank, oh my gosh. I don't pay for though. I'm just like, I'm just saying, I can imagine if I paid for heads. [01:44:10] Speaker B: You can imagine what it'd be like if you did. Yeah. [01:44:13] Speaker A: You know what I mean? [01:44:16] Speaker B: Yeah. No, but like, if you really think about it, an hourly wage, let's even say, well, I guess if it's two hours, then it would be more. But like, let's just say an hour. And every table is tipping you 25 bucks for the hour, no matter the car. I mean, it's a shit ton of money. [01:44:38] Speaker A: You know, there's good money to be made. Like when I waited tables on weekends, it was anywhere from six to 900 just for, you know, six hours worth of work. But. And you're having fun. I love waiting tables because, because it's just constant turnover. So yes, it's very good money. But at the same time, was I deserving of. Do I think I was worth it? Yeah. But. Well, I'm working at a breakfast house and the average chips are like, maybe 10 bucks. I'm just flipping tables, got a good section they're overturning. But at these other restaurants where I've worked at five star restaurants, where you go, you're bringing the bottle, you're fucking doing the presentation. Only one plate per server. If there's six people at the table, you got six people delivering plates. Glove always on the left still. No, no. It's an experience. But I'm sure those meals for those people were probably in the high hundreds, low thousands. Sure. Tip 100. Splitting it with, you know, I get that, but I'm not going to those places. I might be dropping 3, 400. I still don't think it's worth more than 40 bucks. Like, I'm a 10% guy, dude. I do 20 because I know hard times are hard. Yeah. But in my mind, I'm always like, what happened to the 10%? Because that's where it started. [01:46:08] Speaker B: Mm. [01:46:09] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:46:10] Speaker B: I mean, 10%, now 20 is the standard. [01:46:14] Speaker A: Yeah. For some it's 25. I hate when they tip you and they don't. They. They tip them, they add that gratuity, and they don't tell you, and it's an automatic 18. And then you're like, oh, shit, here's the bill, and you just add another 40 because you're like, oh, they got to get a tip. You overlook the gratuity that they added in the bottom. I hate that shit, dude. [01:46:40] Speaker B: Yeah, I would. Really. That would upset me. Ice spheres melt the slowest because a sphere has the lowest possible surface area to volume ratio. H. So I guess it's little balls. [01:47:00] Speaker A: That's probably why I feel like sonic ice lasts forever. Yeah. Yeah. [01:47:07] Speaker B: All right, well, we're almost done. Were we on food delivery apps? Is that how far off we got? [01:47:20] Speaker A: No. Yeah, no, we're. We're pretty down there. I mean, like, we. We touched on them. I think I skipped one, which was the three meals during the day. [01:47:26] Speaker B: But I'm just shocked that food delivery got us all the way to where we were. [01:47:32] Speaker A: Well, no, because the bottom one was the tipping one. [01:47:35] Speaker B: Oh, got it. [01:47:37] Speaker A: So let me ask this one, though. Secret menu items, Genius marketing or just hype? And I asked this because we're both from California. We both like In N Out. And we know In N Out has items that are not available, but not a lot of people Especially in Arizona. Know some of those items that are so regular to us. [01:48:04] Speaker B: Mm. [01:48:06] Speaker A: So genius marketing or not worth the hype? [01:48:10] Speaker B: So I'm gonna say. I'm gonna say marketing because to me, marketing is what comes into your mind when you think about a brand. You think about a certain brand and you think luxury. Think about a certain brand, and you think badass. Cool. Nothing feels cooler than ordering a secret item. [01:48:38] Speaker A: For sure. [01:48:38] Speaker B: It's the coolest. [01:48:39] Speaker A: For sure. [01:48:40] Speaker B: So, no, it's not an. I mean, maybe unnecessary. It's overrated, for sure. [01:48:46] Speaker A: But everybody out here that I say mustard fried in front of, they're like, what's that? Yeah. [01:48:56] Speaker B: Yeah. So it's like, it's Is overrated, I guess. But I think the fact that they. They. All they did was have a product and you found out about it, and now you have to order that thing because of how it makes you feel. That's. [01:49:15] Speaker A: Marcus. [01:49:15] Speaker B: It's genius. [01:49:16] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. I. So I think it's. It's hyped because of our. I think it's hyped because of our access to social media. Okay. Social media. I mean, there were a lot of secret menus I found out through social media that I would have never known about. You know, and. But I think that way also with. And I think some of them were in and out, you know, where, like, they're like, hey, you can order a 10 by 10. You know, you can order this and make all these different things, and it tastes just like this. And, you know, it's. I think without that, there'd be a lot of secret menu items that I didn't know about. And I. I think one of them would be Del Tacos, like, secret menu items. I think they have some secret menu items I learned about online. [01:50:06] Speaker B: Yeah. You know, but those are the only two places that I've That I'm aware of that have the secret items. I'm sure they're all over the place, but I just don't know about them. [01:50:21] Speaker A: Yeah, I've. I've heard. Okay, so I've heard of maybe two or three other fast food chains that have secret items. I never remember to order those secret items when I pull up, like, if I go to Carl's Jr. I'm not like, man, what was that? Secret item? No, no, I'm here for your double oyster bacon cheeseburger, extra sauce. Yeah, that's it. And a soda. Don't need the fries. I know Burger King has one. I don't know what it is. And I think Wendy's has one. But again, don't really give a shit. I don't like Wendy's Burger King. I only really get their Whoppers. [01:51:02] Speaker B: You don't like Wendy's? [01:51:05] Speaker A: You like Wendy's? [01:51:08] Speaker B: Sorta. [01:51:10] Speaker A: I mean, like, you're thinking of a burger. What are the first three places that come to mind? [01:51:15] Speaker B: Nah, Wendy's is not in the top three. [01:51:18] Speaker A: Not even in there, dude. [01:51:19] Speaker B: I'm always excited to go, though. [01:51:22] Speaker A: What is your number one spot for fast food burgers? [01:51:28] Speaker B: Have to be in and out. [01:51:32] Speaker A: Damn. And that was kind of a volley. What is your. In and out's closed. What's your next three? [01:51:42] Speaker B: We'll see. If if in n out's closed, then the best experience is off the table. And I'm probably just interested in getting this done. So that's putting McDonald's on the table. Carl's. [01:51:59] Speaker A: What about Del Taco for you? [01:52:01] Speaker B: Not for. [01:52:01] Speaker A: They got the Dell burger. They got the Del burger. [01:52:04] Speaker B: It's fine. But it's not okay. [01:52:07] Speaker A: What? I'm going trying to see what kind of standard you're. You're with. Okay, go on. [01:52:11] Speaker B: And come to think of it, Carl's is too expensive. It's $20 for a combo. [01:52:17] Speaker A: We're limitless, dude. We're limitless in this analogy. [01:52:20] Speaker B: Ah, all right, well, then Carl's. Yeah, The. The double western bacon Chi is definitely gonna get me there, but yeah, I might go like five guys or something. [01:52:34] Speaker A: Okay, Yeah, I can see that. Because that's. So I look at five guys is like in and out, B team. [01:52:43] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:52:45] Speaker A: You know, however, five guys, fries just with. Just because they got the Cajun seasoning all day long. [01:52:52] Speaker B: Yes. [01:52:53] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. [01:52:54] Speaker B: Oh, and is this California only? [01:52:59] Speaker A: No. [01:53:00] Speaker B: Okay, well, whataburger is actually really good. [01:53:05] Speaker A: Oh, my God. Okay. All right, let me give you my five and then comment on your whataburger. So my first one would probably be Carl's Jr. Because I like their double western bacon cheeseburger with extra sauce. My second one would probably be Burger King. I like the Whopper. My third would be McDonald's. I like McDonald's. I like a lot of McDonald's burgers. I feel disgusting after I eat McDonald's. [01:53:40] Speaker B: Oh, sure. [01:53:41] Speaker A: So McDonald's is only third. [01:53:43] Speaker B: I thought we were. [01:53:44] Speaker A: Yeah, McDonald's. We are. But I feel disgusting, bro. Like, internally, I feel like I shouldn't have done that. You know, I equate it to, like, when you. You got so mad at. At your spouse, you choked them out and they're not waking up and you're like, why did I do that? Like, it seemed like a good idea in the moment. But why? Why did I just do that? [01:54:08] Speaker B: You just. Because you were just hungry and you just wanted them to be quiet. You know, it's the same thing. [01:54:15] Speaker A: Yeah. So I did go to Whataburgers, and I was like, all right. I've heard a lot of hype about this place for a lot of people. Stop. We have. We have them a lot out here. So I'm like, you know what? I'm gonna pop in, see what's up. I had a Whataburgers. It was disgusting, bro. Like, I was so disappointed. However, I gave it another shot, and I had their patty melt. That's the only thing I order from Whataburger. [01:54:49] Speaker B: I never had a bad experience at Whataburger. [01:54:53] Speaker A: I've. I've only had one good one. [01:54:58] Speaker B: And you know what? While we're on, outside of California restaurants, Brahms was really good. [01:55:06] Speaker A: I've never had Brahms, so I can't argue it. A lot of people here like this, like, the Smash burger thing is really big right now, of course. So you got, like, Culver's, and I think Freddy's. [01:55:19] Speaker B: Oh, Freddy's is great. Dude, you're bringing up so many better ones than what I chose. [01:55:25] Speaker A: That's the crazy thing. Maybe I just suck at fast food burgers because, like, their burgers are good, but they're never somewhere where I'm like, oh, Freddy's, man. They're fucking burgers. [01:55:37] Speaker B: Yeah. I've never felt that way. But I would go to Freddy's before I went to five guys. [01:55:44] Speaker A: I wouldn't. [01:55:45] Speaker B: Yeah, okay. That's fair. Yeah. [01:55:47] Speaker A: If you said Freddy's are five guys, I'm like, five guys with a fucking Cajun fries. Wow. [01:55:52] Speaker B: We'll see. The fries are what makes five guys? [01:55:54] Speaker A: Yeah, you get a small. You feed the whole house. Yeah, they just, like, dump the fries in there. They don't really give a About the cost of the fries. They make up for it in the 30 burger. [01:56:05] Speaker B: Yeah. Right. I was gonna say it's the one place inflation hasn't touched, and then you're paying $30. [01:56:15] Speaker A: Their burgers are so expensive. Expensive, dude. [01:56:18] Speaker B: It's crazy. Yeah. I think I've only been there with a gift card. [01:56:26] Speaker A: Really? Yeah, man. You're. You're just living off the grid. Living the life, man. Living the life. [01:56:31] Speaker B: Well, dude, like, I know I make it sound like I'm poor, and I am. I guess I am by definition, but, like, there was a time when I was Single living rent free with my parents and making 2500amonth. You know, I still didn't go to places like five guys. It's like, it's just not what I'm going to spend my money on. You know, like I've got, I'm, I'm preferably, I'll save it, you know, and then I might buy like music equipment or you know what I mean? It's just like food is just never at the top of my list of like splurging, you know. [01:57:12] Speaker A: No, and I get that. I get that it's. I think it's now it's different for me because it's hard to kick the weight of it. Like I'm, I'm hungry again. I know it's really shitty. I know it's thousands of calories. And I now am sensitive to like the fact that it brings me down versus like, gives me energy. And so like now I look at food differently for that reason. But I think a lot of kids are commonly like what you're, how you're at like number three saves her money. So she has a good amount in her account. It's never spent really on food. Rarely is it like, you know what? I think I'm gonna buy this or I'm gonna doordash that. That's very rare. Most of the time it's kind of just like, what do we got? Not that I'm good. [01:58:06] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:58:08] Speaker A: So, yeah, I think, I think a lot of youth are like you, Joan. [01:58:15] Speaker B: Yeah. The 32 year old youth of America. [01:58:26] Speaker A: Yeah, man. So real quick, man, we never really caught up on each other's weeks. How's your week? [01:58:32] Speaker B: It was good. So Thursdays I take my daughter to a gym class. And if you told me that we were at this gym class yesterday, I would believe you. I mean the week flew by so fast and it's actually been eight days since we recorded that. Feels like yesterday too. Like, where the hell did this week go? I like, I don't even have anything to report. Same old shit. [01:59:09] Speaker A: So I was able to get us in with a developer design firm that, that we've been trying to get into. [01:59:20] Speaker B: Cool. [01:59:21] Speaker A: I finally was able to get one to respond to say, yeah, come let's, let's talk a little bit more. I think maybe outside of that, that's, that's really it. [01:59:31] Speaker B: Coffee or dinner? [01:59:35] Speaker A: Just stop by their office. For sure. I'm pretty excited about it. She. We met. She. Okay. So I'm on the dance floor in Laughlin at this conference and I Didn't [01:59:50] Speaker B: you just say she? And you're like, she. Well, let me back up. So I'm on the dance floor. It's crazy. You live a crazy life. So I'm jiving. I'm picturing you in a white suit like Saturday Night Fever. [02:00:11] Speaker A: So. No, dude, actually, you know, I was. I think I was just kind of maybe dress shirt, sleeves rolled up, buttoned up, jeans, J's. And so I'm. I'm out there and I'm not being disrespectful, I'm not being gross, you know, because it was a lot of school people at this bar. It was like, it was like a tradition. And so I'm only dancing with a guy. Let me explain. [02:00:44] Speaker B: Sure. [02:00:44] Speaker A: We're both out there dancing, but not with each other. But we're both, we're both not dancing with women. [02:00:51] Speaker B: Right. [02:00:52] Speaker A: You know, he's married. I'm in a relationship. [02:00:55] Speaker B: Yeah. [02:00:55] Speaker A: So we're just out there having a good time. [02:00:57] Speaker B: It would be wrong if anything happened between you guys if, if. [02:01:02] Speaker A: Well, if a girl would come up and like, want to dance, there would be like 3, 4ft of distance between us. Nothing inappropriate. I'm just trying to keep it clean. [02:01:11] Speaker B: So. [02:01:11] Speaker A: And I'm trying to also get people involved. So I will have women and men come up and dance, but then I'm moving on. You're out here dancing. Got you. Let's get another one. Let's get this floor really busy. And she comes up and she goes, what's your name? I tell her my name, she goes, she goes, who are you with? So I tell her and she's like, oh, right on. And, you know, I kind of explained to her, like, oh, I'm new in business development, trying to, you know, drum up. I don't know even what I'm doing. I'm just, you know, just having a good time. And that was it. Like, that's how brief it was. I text her the next morning. I DM her through LinkedIn. Next morning, hey, are you still around? Because I'm sitting at a table with a girl that looks very similar to her. So I'm thinking it's her. And she goes, no, I Left at like 9am try to get ahead, like, start on traffic. And I'm like, okay, cool. I reach out a week later. Pleasure to meet you at the event. Would love to get to know, like, more about your firm. Congratulations. This and that. No response. Send her an email. No fucking response. Finally, she's like, sends me an email. I'm sorry, I Get so many emails. Yours was buried. I finally just came across it, and we started talking, and then she was like, yeah, I'd love to, like, meet with you guys and talk a little bit more and, you know, kind of show you what we have to offer. And so, yeah, hopefully we get some work out of it, man. [02:02:37] Speaker B: Cool. [02:02:38] Speaker A: But, yeah, so that was, like, a little victory for me, for sure. And that's really been it. I'm getting ready for this Tucson conference and more importantly, getting ready to be there next week, dude. Monday through Friday on Six Flags. On Wednesday, we're gonna do the Six Flags thing. And then all the other days, just whatever's. Whatever floats your boat. [02:03:08] Speaker B: All right, so we're gonna do a podcast in person, right? [02:03:13] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm excited about that. We gotta pick a night so that we can have number one be there. [02:03:17] Speaker B: Yeah. [02:03:19] Speaker A: We also got to pick a safe topic. Okay. And what I mean by safe is, like, I don't know how the atmosphere is going to be. I don't want to say our name in front of anybody else in the room. Outside of number one. [02:03:36] Speaker B: We're going to be in a separate room. [02:03:40] Speaker A: I'm hoping we even do it live, like, down on the beach. Okay. I don't know. Maybe on the patio. Because I keep imagining that our house is right on the beach like we did last time, and we lost that house. This time. We didn't put our deposit down quick enough. So we're a little. We're like a block in from the beach. And so I'm thinking probably patio, maybe even. [02:04:06] Speaker B: Okay. [02:04:06] Speaker A: And so we might do it like a welcome to Pseudonyms. You know what I mean? I just don't want people to be [02:04:14] Speaker B: like, have to say the name of the podcast. [02:04:17] Speaker A: Not that night. I'm even thinking that, too. We don't say shit, dude. We just get into our topic, you know? Yeah. [02:04:25] Speaker B: I have been. I have been questioning. Does my wife know the name of the podcast? Because she's been in the room when I've said, like, welcome to Pseudonyms. [02:04:41] Speaker A: Yeah. [02:04:42] Speaker B: And I just assume. Because nothing. I mean, I released a song today. Do you think that was even mentioned? No. Does give a shit? [02:04:55] Speaker A: Was that the. It's two words. [02:05:00] Speaker B: You don't need to bear witnesses. It's. It's. But we'll. We'll cut that out. But. But it's like. So I just assume she doesn't give a shit about anything I'm doing. She. She's not gonna consume any of my content. But the other day she was like, where do you guys post that podcast that you do all the time. And at first I was like, God, she's getting curious. Now I'm kind of thinking she just doesn't believe we're doing a podcast. [02:05:35] Speaker A: She. [02:05:36] Speaker B: She. I think she thinks we're around, and I'm, like, doing the podcast to, like, justify it. [02:05:45] Speaker A: So I thought your initial response would have been, fuck, she's asking questions. Yeah, time to put her down. [02:05:51] Speaker B: Well, that's. That's kind of what I was thinking. I was like, if she knows the name of the podcast. There's a lot of podcasts with this name, believe it or not. [02:05:59] Speaker A: So. [02:06:00] Speaker B: So she's not likely to find it because that would take so much effort for someone who doesn't give a. About anything. I do. [02:06:07] Speaker A: And the quills. The quills. You know, like a porcupine quill, if I know. Dude, it was quills and something else, but they were. I don't know. [02:06:23] Speaker B: What are you talking about? [02:06:24] Speaker A: I don't know. You use the word quills in your song. It's like in the chorus. [02:06:32] Speaker B: Quails got it. [02:06:35] Speaker A: I was. Okay, I gotta re. Listen to it now because I'm like, the quills, huh? Like, wow. He was. He was. He had a fucking thesaurus ready. Just. [02:06:46] Speaker B: It might have been a little heavy. Do you. [02:06:49] Speaker A: Wails makes more sense. [02:06:50] Speaker B: Do you get what the song is about based on those references? I mean, I said it in the caption. [02:06:59] Speaker A: The sense I got was like, regret. [02:07:02] Speaker B: Okay. [02:07:05] Speaker A: Possibly something lost. Definitely regret. I think I felt more regret in the song than. Than. [02:07:12] Speaker B: Or loss. [02:07:14] Speaker A: Loss of. Maybe both tied together. You lost someone and you kind of regret how you spent time together. [02:07:20] Speaker B: Interesting. [02:07:21] Speaker A: All right, [02:07:23] Speaker B: so you didn't read the caption because I think I said what the song was about in the caption. [02:07:29] Speaker A: No, I just listened to it. [02:07:31] Speaker B: Okay. [02:07:31] Speaker A: That was it. Get. [02:07:33] Speaker B: If you do listen to it again, see if you pick up on. On the. I'm trying to see. Because I blew it by putting it in the caption because I kind of want to see how many people. [02:07:45] Speaker A: Okay, let me. Let me also say this. I thought it was going to play 30 seconds and repeat. It's the whole song, but I didn't know that. So I only get your intro of you singing that phrase like two or three times in a row. [02:08:08] Speaker B: Oh, no, it should be 30 seconds. [02:08:13] Speaker A: Oh. So I. I. Was that the whole song? [02:08:15] Speaker B: No, that's just the chorus. [02:08:18] Speaker A: Oh, that's what I thought. So I only listened to the chorus, and that's what I got from it. [02:08:22] Speaker B: Okay. Okay. I wanted. I wanted to see if people picked up on what it was about without me saying. [02:08:29] Speaker A: Could you repeat the chorus for me right now? [02:08:32] Speaker B: I'll have to cut it out. [02:08:35] Speaker A: It was hard to understand. [02:08:36] Speaker B: I'll have to cut it out. [02:08:37] Speaker A: Why you have to cut it out? [02:08:38] Speaker B: Because people posted somewhere. [02:08:40] Speaker A: Yeah, your lyrics are posted somewhere. [02:08:42] Speaker B: They're on Band Camp. [02:08:45] Speaker A: Oh, I know what that is. Yeah, I know. Now I know the whole thing now. [02:08:49] Speaker B: It's obvious. Gavin was too obvious. [02:08:52] Speaker A: No, Well, I thought it was the quills and the poppies and I'm like, what the. So, yeah, it's you leaving California. [02:09:03] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. So the gold. [02:09:05] Speaker A: Well, the golden wheels was the first thing of you leaving California. [02:09:09] Speaker B: So it's like the California bear, like, scratched me as I was leaving, basically. [02:09:15] Speaker A: Okay. I was wondering where the scratch came from. Yeah, that's a twofer right there, dude. Yeah, right on. [02:09:20] Speaker B: Some of the lyrics I thought were really clever, and then some of them, like, specifically referencing Gavin, I thought were a little too heavy handed. But I wrote the song five years ago, so who gives a. [02:09:33] Speaker A: But you don't hear Gavin in the same sense. You know what I mean? Like, it's not so, like, prominent. [02:09:45] Speaker B: Yeah. [02:09:45] Speaker A: When you say it in the song. For sure. [02:09:47] Speaker B: Yeah. I tried. I tried to sing it in a way where people might not even understand the lyrics fully. [02:09:55] Speaker A: Oh, that successful. Ching. [02:09:58] Speaker B: Because it's. It's just cooler when you're like, what is that song? What's he saying? And then you look up the lyrics and you're like, oh. Like, oh, okay, I get it. So many of my favorite bands do that. So that was kind of by design, but right on. [02:10:11] Speaker A: Yeah, Successful. [02:10:13] Speaker B: So anyways, all that to say? I think it would take too much effort for her to, like, search for it and find it. So I think we're safe. But boy, if she found it and didn't tell me, she would have a field day listening to the earliest episodes. [02:10:33] Speaker A: Here's the thing. If she finds it, like, what? How do you think she's gonna react, bro? [02:10:42] Speaker B: Well, see, here's another thing. Let's say she. [02:10:44] Speaker A: And then I meet her and she's like, I'm more than a barista. I'm like, well, technically. [02:10:53] Speaker B: Technically, you know. Okay, so the name of this episode is technically. Here's the other thing. She finds it. Maybe she starts at episode one. Maybe she listens to the most recent episode. I don't think she's gonna listen to more than two. I still don't believe she gives enough of a Shit. To even go farther than that. You know what I mean? [02:11:24] Speaker A: Like, yeah, but episode one. I don't know if you started talking about her in episode one or two, but I remember early on you were like, she cannot hear this. I'll have to delete this. If she knows what we're. [02:11:39] Speaker B: The first time I remember. And this is hilarious, because if she hears this one, then she'll know exactly where to go the first time. I remember saying, we will have to remove this episode from the library if she ever finds out. I remember. [02:12:00] Speaker A: I want you to know you're going to. You're going to have to beep this number. [02:12:03] Speaker B: Yes, it was. [02:12:05] Speaker A: All right. [02:12:05] Speaker B: It was episode. [02:12:08] Speaker A: Really. [02:12:09] Speaker B: I know, I know. That's not the first thing I ever said that she shouldn't hear, but it was the first time where there was, like, a prolonged segment. [02:12:19] Speaker A: I think it's within the first three episodes. [02:12:22] Speaker B: Man, I'd have to. I don't even remember what we talked about in those first three episodes. I'd have to go back and listen. [02:12:28] Speaker A: Part of me wants to go back and listen just because I want to know what we used to be made of. [02:12:32] Speaker B: Dude, it was a year and a half ago. Like, we were completely different people. It's weird. Yeah. Well, anyway, so she hasn't said anything more than that. [02:12:44] Speaker A: What would she do, though, bro? Let's say she heard the one that you didn't want her to hear. [02:12:50] Speaker B: I would say so. Do you remember the subject? [02:12:56] Speaker A: Yeah. [02:12:57] Speaker B: It was so lack of intimacy, to put it nicely. I would say that since then, we've had some very frank conversations about that, and she wouldn't be hearing anything new. [02:13:12] Speaker A: Okay, okay. [02:13:14] Speaker B: I'm more. [02:13:15] Speaker A: Now, let's say. Let's say she stumbles. She's like, you know what? I'm gonna go look through this. She stumbles across one of you and a coworker worker. That could be misconstrued. Do you think she'd have an issue with that? [02:13:32] Speaker B: Co worker. [02:13:35] Speaker A: There's like, a co worker you used to smoke with no leaving work, and you actually stopped from leaving work to smoke with her, and she got let go. [02:13:46] Speaker B: No, that's not. That's not accurate. No, the story. The story was we always. Now my wife is the one who would call her my work wife. So that was kind of a joke from her. So it was this co worker's last day of work, and we had always said we should smoke together someday. Cigarettes. And so on our last day, we were talking outside for, like, 15, 20 minutes before we left. And she was like, should we finally do this? Should we go get a pack of cigarettes and enjoy a cigarette before we leave? And I was like, look, you know, what's your name? My wife would be mad enough if I smoked, but if I did it with the one she calls my work wife. [02:14:39] Speaker A: Oh, so you didn't do it? [02:14:40] Speaker B: No, we didn't. No. [02:14:42] Speaker A: Oh, fuck that, dude. Okay, that saves you. Maybe. You might get some. Let her listen to that one. Yeah. You know what I mean? [02:14:50] Speaker B: N. I don't. I don't think that would score me any points, but I'm fine, man. No, I told her that story, actually, when I got home. [02:15:03] Speaker A: Oh, that sucks. [02:15:05] Speaker B: But now. Now I want to go back. I want to go back to episode one and just see how far do I have to go to hear something I don't want her to hear, you know? [02:15:17] Speaker A: Like, I want to listen to see how far. How much we've changed, if any. [02:15:23] Speaker B: Yeah. [02:15:24] Speaker A: I remember laughing a lot more in the beginning ones. [02:15:27] Speaker B: Oh, wow. [02:15:30] Speaker A: No, you know what? [02:15:32] Speaker B: Sorry that I'm not Mr. Good Time. You. [02:15:41] Speaker A: You know, I. I meant when I listened back to him, I would laugh at our, like, you know, like, at our. Our banter. I don't laugh as much. And I don't know if it's just a changed mindset where now I'm just scanning for names and, you know, ways to clear the record. [02:16:00] Speaker B: Yeah. I will say, like, I think the tone of the show was a lot more comedically driven back then. Like, I was just always, like, now we're just having a conversation, and it's funny, it's insightful, it's. It's everything you want in a podcast, if I do say so myself. But. But originally, I remember almost being on the edge of my seat. Seat, trying to find the funny angle on everything. And that was kind of. My main, like, goal was to, like, make everything funny. Yeah. Like, now it's. It's just a lot more laid back, and we have a good conversation why [02:16:43] Speaker A: the ratings have dropped. [02:16:44] Speaker B: Yeah. [02:16:44] Speaker A: Explain. Yeah. [02:16:48] Speaker B: Well, I also stopped being as offensive just because of, like, certain people I'm aware. Who listen to it now. [02:16:57] Speaker A: Like, really one. [02:16:58] Speaker B: I mean, our number one listener is your daughter. So. Yeah. There's certain things that I just won't say anymore. Like, we were definitely. [02:17:05] Speaker A: I'm not gonna lie. I. I sometimes I'm like, let it go. I elsa that. You know what I mean? I'm like, keep up, Anna, or we're out of here. [02:17:13] Speaker B: Yeah. [02:17:14] Speaker A: You know. [02:17:15] Speaker B: Yeah. No, I just. I don't know if it's conscious, but I just feel like we were definitely, like, raunchier in the beginning. [02:17:26] Speaker A: I think that's what made us good. [02:17:27] Speaker B: Yeah. All right, we're going back to core values. It's pedophilia jokes. It's sexual topics oldly. Next week, live with number one, we are talking about the clitoris. Let's go. Our topic for tonight is the female orgasm. [02:17:51] Speaker A: Oh, my God. I couldn't even do that. I might be able to pop out with a joke like, hey, so explain the female orgasm to us. But then I'd be like, don't do it. [02:18:00] Speaker B: Don't stop. Stop. [02:18:03] Speaker A: Yeah. Not so fast, ladies and gentlemen. Who am I tonight? You called me Brooks, Chelsea, defaulted. Brooks. [02:18:13] Speaker B: Chelsea. [02:18:13] Speaker A: Oh, Chelsea. I thought you called me Brooks during the show, though, like, halfway through, maybe, [02:18:19] Speaker B: maybe accidentally, you're going to be like, [02:18:21] Speaker A: I'm just going to get on and be like, dude, Chelsea's having technical difficulties, so the rest of the show is going to. You guys handle it. I'm. I. I got to go. And it's just going to be you and her. You're going to be sitting there with a little chub, like, nope. Orgasms and clitoris. [02:18:39] Speaker B: Nope. That's. That's a me too trap right there. I can see it clearly now that. That would be an episode we'd scrub for sure. [02:18:54] Speaker A: That's the crazy thing. We probably have two or three scrubbed. Like, not scrubbed, but we probably have two or three episodes that we scratched because there. Usually I was too far. [02:19:04] Speaker B: There was a couple where one of our recordings got screwed up, and so we only had half the conversation. And then there was like, one, I think, where I was like, dude, you were so drunk that it's, like, unlistenable. [02:19:18] Speaker A: Yeah. And then there's one we just lost. I didn't record. [02:19:22] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. So I will. There. Here's a funny story. And number one, if you're still listening this far, congratulations for making it. This is a hilarious story. So my wife. This was months ago. Now, I. I can't remember if I said this on the podcast, but she goes, justification. She goes, my wife is like, we were talking about you. And she goes, hey, what are Joan's daughter's names? [02:19:57] Speaker A: I'm Chelsea. [02:19:58] Speaker B: You're. Oh, right, sorry. What are Chelsea's daughter's names? And I was like, oh, well, number [02:20:06] Speaker A: one, number two, number three, number four. [02:20:11] Speaker B: Well, and I was like, well, the. I'll use the. The numbers to say their names. But I was like, well, the oldest one is Number one, you know, But I said the name. [02:20:22] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, I get it. [02:20:23] Speaker B: And she's like, oh, that's who that is. It was like. I was like, what? And she's like, well, she came up in my suggested friends and I looked at her profile and I just saw that you liked every single one of her photos. And it's true. What I said was 100 true. I do not. I like, if. If number one just posted like a selfie, I'm not gonna like that. Yeah, it's just how I roll. But she posts a lot that are like 20 pictures. So I might see like a picture of you guys at Disneyland. And I hit like. And then there's like a bikini. There's a bikini photo like seven photos later that I never saw or something. Not that. [02:21:13] Speaker A: No, I get that. So I'm in the same boat. Like friends, daughters, if we are even friends on social media. It's a. I like your family pics. Yeah, I'm not liking your individual. [02:21:25] Speaker B: If there's a son and I'm not going or something. Sure, yeah. [02:21:28] Speaker A: And I'm not going backwards. Like. No, your likes are from the point we connected on. It's not me. I'm not scrolling through your bat. [02:21:36] Speaker B: If I was just liking photos for. From 2016. But not all at once. Not all at once. It was like, it's three in the morning and I like one photo. You know what? I should do that now. And then when she hears this podcast, she'll understand the joke. No, that's a bad idea. [02:21:57] Speaker A: If you could get friends. If you could become friends, and I need you to do this. I cannot do this because of my position. If you could become friends with. What was his name? Jimmy. [02:22:15] Speaker B: I can't remember. I think his fake name was Jimmy. Yeah. [02:22:18] Speaker A: Yes. That's why I want to use. I know his real name. [02:22:21] Speaker B: Oh, I don't remember. [02:22:23] Speaker A: I go text you his real name and his Instagram profile. [02:22:27] Speaker B: Okay. [02:22:28] Speaker A: If you just requested his friendship and he actually approved, proved it. Because he was like, oh, this dude. One of his followers is. Is Chelsea Handler. Yeah, he's. He's good to go and he accepts it. I would love for that to happen. We're like three in the morning. You pop back a couple years on this timeline and you just like, he has some close ups. You could tell this kid wanted to be a five foot model because, dude, he has ones where he's like. It's like tight on the face. He's doing the fucking blue steel. You know what I mean? He's got the fucking, you know, just fucking like, you know, dude. And you just hearted it and you just did one, give it a couple days, go back, hit another one. [02:23:09] Speaker B: It's 3:12 in the morning. [02:23:13] Speaker A: Yeah, dude, dude, dude, I. And I guarantee this is what's gonna come from it. A text thread, images of text thread of your dad's friend requested to follow me. [02:23:31] Speaker B: Your dad's friend sounds so creepy. I'm like five years older than him. Your dad, the mustache. [02:23:42] Speaker A: Yeah, dude, dude, I. I will text you his name. I would love to see where this goes. This is on my make a wish list, so. [02:23:52] Speaker B: See, this is core values only. [02:23:55] Speaker A: You can make it come true. [02:23:56] Speaker B: This is core values. This is. We're laughing our asses off on this pocket. This is good. [02:24:04] Speaker A: But I need you to do that for me. [02:24:06] Speaker B: I will. [02:24:09] Speaker A: I appreciate that. [02:24:09] Speaker B: And you know what? If I, if I get a couple of streams on Spotify, out of it, all right, you know, I get something. [02:24:17] Speaker A: You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I think this is going to turn out to be great. Are you going to be able to do that though? Are you a three? Are you ever up at 3am? [02:24:28] Speaker B: Nah. [02:24:28] Speaker A: But what's the latest? You're up. I'll take it. [02:24:32] Speaker B: Yep. I mean, 11:30 is not great. [02:24:37] Speaker A: Well, that's why I said I'll take it because I knew it had to be in the 11, 11, 12 rings. And if you could just before you go sleep at night, hit his profile. Scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, boom. Tag one. Go back. Go back to bed, you know? [02:24:51] Speaker B: Yeah, no, I, I'm usually up till like 2 or 3, but I'm trying to wake up at 6 every day now. So I'm trying to get it to sleep at 11, but hasn't worked yet. So I might be up. [02:25:03] Speaker A: I was about to say, how's that working out for you so far? [02:25:07] Speaker B: I'm getting up at 6. I'm just not falling asleep any earlier. So. [02:25:12] Speaker A: Yeah, do it. Do it at three. Yeah, yeah, do it. Do it as late as you can when you remember. But don't do it every night. [02:25:20] Speaker B: No, no, no, no. [02:25:21] Speaker A: I don't want to think you got a masturbation problem. This is, this is, this is. This is strictly like infatuation. [02:25:28] Speaker B: No, the problem with doing it every night is that it becomes predictable and with predictability is comfort. You don't want comfort. You want chaos. You want an aggressive sexual energy. [02:25:46] Speaker A: Okay. Okay. So I know he's got enough pictures to last us a couple months for sure. I think when we run out of hearts. We maybe go back to the original that we hearted and just put, like, great pick. Something that's not gay, but borderline, like, read into. You know what I mean? This really captures your good side, you know? I know there's one of, like, him and some buddies, like, trying to show off with their. With their shirts off. Dude, just be like, what were you guys doing? [02:26:37] Speaker B: Where are the boys tonight? [02:26:41] Speaker A: That's what it. What are you boys up. What were you boys up to? You know what I mean? Because, honestly, you're just asking, what were you guys doing in that pick? But when you add the word boys, it's kind of like, oh, this guy's gay. But you're not really saying you're gay. You're just saying, great pick. You're just admiring. [02:26:57] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Calling up the boys is great. [02:27:05] Speaker A: Dude, we got to do this. [02:27:07] Speaker B: Yes. [02:27:07] Speaker A: And we're going to. You got to give us an update. We. We're going to update. This is going to be our weekly update. Yeah. [02:27:15] Speaker B: I'm so excited for this idea. [02:27:17] Speaker A: I am. I'm so excited for next week already, dude. [02:27:20] Speaker B: All right. Text me his thing as soon as. As soon as we. [02:27:24] Speaker A: Oh, I will. As soon as we're done, I'm a text screenshot. You'll get it all. I forgot. I even followed the little. He just posted, like, oh, I thought [02:27:32] Speaker B: you unfollowed a couple weeks. [02:27:34] Speaker A: I did. And then, like, I tried to get it back, and he kind of put me on the wait list for a couple days so long so that I forgot about it. I think he did it for, like, a couple weeks. So then he finally accepts it. Like, now he holds the power. Right? So he's expecting some engagement. Oh, number one's dad's gonna be so funny. He's gonna like my stuff. And then, like, I'm falling. Like, watch. [02:27:54] Speaker B: You muted it. [02:27:55] Speaker A: No, no, no. Yeah, I got no activity on him. Yeah. I mean, none. But when he posted it said, hey, he came up in the little fucking stories at the top. I was like, I forgot. I followed that fucker. I really followed him. But I'm not going to watch the stories because then you can tell who looked at your story. [02:28:12] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [02:28:12] Speaker A: Not doing that. Not giving him no satisfaction of me even recognizing that he accepted my friend request. [02:28:19] Speaker B: Yeah. [02:28:20] Speaker A: And now when he follows yours, I'm gonna. I'm gonna enjoy this. [02:28:24] Speaker B: Now, should I watch all of his stories just to seem. Because. [02:28:31] Speaker A: Yeah. [02:28:31] Speaker B: Yeah. [02:28:31] Speaker A: And Hardam and Hardam put you at the top of the list. Put you at the top of the list. And the heart, no matter where it comes out and how it's meant, is always weird. Man to man, you know what I mean? [02:28:45] Speaker B: Yeah. [02:28:45] Speaker A: Love you, bro. Heart. Or you're like, hey, been praying for you heart. And you're like, maybe a thumbs up, but maybe that shit's gay. And then you usually get that text back, like, don't gay emote my heart, bro. I mean, emote my message. Don't gay heart, emote my message. [02:29:02] Speaker B: Maybe a thought. Hey, maybe a thumbs up. Why don't you take it easy? Yeah, why don't you try decaf, buddy? Give me a thumbs up in text, [02:29:11] Speaker A: you have that option. Yeah, text, you have that option. In stories, you don't. And so therefore. Is he gay? No, there's no thumbs up option. And he really liked my post. Mm. No, he's not gay. Everything you do and post or comment on has to be borderline. Am I reading into this? You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying? Where you're just like. When you. You know what I mean? Is he. Am I reading into it that he's gay, or is this just an innocent question? Like, is he really asking what me and my boys are up to? You know what I mean? Like, what we were doing in the picture. Like, what were. What were you. Like, what were you boys doing in that picture? You know? I mean, were they jumping? Where? I don't know. You. You guys look like a boy band. [02:30:04] Speaker B: You know, I need to set. You can set an alarm for certain people, so as soon as they post, you get a notification. Get on there. Watch that shit. Right away. [02:30:16] Speaker A: I want you to be the first and the first heart. I want, like, dude, I want him to be like, oh, shit, girls already looking at my post. And he's gonna get on. [02:30:23] Speaker B: Be like, that's weird, that guy. All right, this guy's. I mean, this guy must be on Instagram a lot. He's always the first. [02:30:30] Speaker A: He must. He must be scrolling right now. Exactly. That's what he's gonna think. Okay. The first couple ones is gonna be like, oh, dude must be scrolling. And then it's gonna be like, he hearts everything. [02:30:40] Speaker B: You know what I'm gonna. You know what I could do? I can't do it right away because it gets too creepy. And, you know, it's got to be like an end game. [02:30:50] Speaker A: Can I tell you a secret? [02:30:55] Speaker B: It's got to be an end. [02:30:56] Speaker A: I thought you're gonna send them a private dm. Can I tell you a Secret. [02:30:59] Speaker B: It's gonna be a private dm. But here's the thing. You can unsend messages as long as they haven't read them yet and they [02:31:09] Speaker A: show it to you that it's unsent. [02:31:10] Speaker B: Yes. So at like two of the boards recording. I'll message him something and then unsend it. [02:31:19] Speaker A: That is great. Yeah, you can't do that right away. No, no, no. That's got to be. Dude, that's like phase three. [02:31:25] Speaker B: Yeah, that's like end game stuff. [02:31:27] Speaker A: That's. That's. Yeah, that's phase four. Because we have. You start with the hearts and, and, and simultaneously you heart all his life stories. Now then once we run out of that and we need a little step it up, we go back and hit the great pick. You know, what were you and the fellas, what were you and the fellas doing in that picture? You know, like that. And then you do the. You give that a little bit, you let that play out a little bit. See how he engages, if any. And then you hit him with the unsent. Dude. This is going to be a build up, dude. And don't rush it. Don't nut this. I know that we get excited. Don't. Do not get in that game and just let it release. [02:32:12] Speaker B: I'm saying three likes a week [02:32:19] Speaker A: until you're out of pictures pretty much. [02:32:21] Speaker B: And then because he's pretty much a [02:32:23] Speaker A: story man now, like he doesn't really. And I noticed this with a lot of people, myself included. I don't really post to my, my, my feed anymore in the same. The sense that it stays on my page forever. I just do a story. [02:32:35] Speaker B: Yeah. [02:32:36] Speaker A: So he's kind of turned that way. And I want to say he's not too deep in pictures. Okay. And so like I think we have some mileage with that, but the mileage will run out within a year, I think at our rate. [02:32:50] Speaker B: Yeah, we don't need it to last that long. I mean that's. [02:32:53] Speaker A: Well, no, no, no. Yeah, we, we, we. All I'm saying is we're. We're under a year in hards. And then I figure maybe as we get like three or four away from finishing up the hearts, we start hitting with the comments. [02:33:09] Speaker B: We circle back. We do the comments. [02:33:12] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, we circle back. We're like great picks. And then maybe we feed off someone else that was like, dude, you look good in that. And be like, I agree. You know what I mean? I agree. Just something basic. But all the time he's like, is this dude gay? [02:33:30] Speaker B: Am I being homophobic by even wondering if this guy's gay? Maybe he's just up late. [02:33:38] Speaker A: Am I gay? Because I'm kind of curious if he's gay. I mean, isn't that kind of gay to wonder if another guy is gay? [02:33:45] Speaker B: Because I like the way that he likes my photos. Like, I like. I don't know. I like, I want to say the violent sexual energy coming off of his legs. [02:33:56] Speaker A: Dude, dude, you're going to be the most attentive guy on, on Instagram for him. [02:34:04] Speaker B: I'm his number one follower. [02:34:07] Speaker A: Okay, so can, can, can we, can we make a pack? [02:34:12] Speaker B: Sure. [02:34:13] Speaker A: Can. Can we, can we make this last forever? [02:34:16] Speaker B: Yes. [02:34:17] Speaker A: I mean, yeah. [02:34:18] Speaker B: So long. [02:34:19] Speaker A: I'm telling you, I don't want to rush it. I don't want it to be like a, a three month thing where at month three we're already in gaming it with the unsend. [02:34:26] Speaker B: Yeah, no, no, we're. This is going to be a slow. [02:34:29] Speaker A: I want that to be a Chris. I'm cool with six months and make it a Christmas special. [02:34:34] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Yes. I don't know. [02:34:37] Speaker A: That is when the event happened with the friend. I. I do too. I'm cool if we hit Christmas 2027. [02:34:44] Speaker B: Yep. [02:34:45] Speaker A: But. But I have a feeling we're going to be doing quite a bit of unsense. But they're going to be like every [02:34:52] Speaker B: three months, I'm gonna, I'm gonna. I'll look at the pictures. [02:34:57] Speaker A: Like when we hit that stage of unsent messages and it being the end game until we have something to engage again, it's going to be like every three months, we just hit a message unsent. [02:35:09] Speaker B: They definitely need to be less frequent than the likes. [02:35:13] Speaker A: Yes. But they, they, but they're also a step up where it's like, was he texting me like, hey, you want to hang out tonight? And then was like, no, that's crazy. Was it a nude? What was he just saying? Hey, you want to grab a beer? Or maybe it was saying like, hey, call you. Who knows what he said? You know what I mean? But the, the, the options are endless. [02:35:42] Speaker B: Who knows what he said? But I don't. I don't feel safe. There's something about this makes me feel unsafe. [02:35:48] Speaker A: Okay, so, okay, this is the topper. This is the topper of them all. Couple maybe a year or two down the road, we do a California trip. Went number one. And you. And we invite him over. And you don't ever address. Oh, no Instagram ever. No, you don't talk about, hey, that was a great pick. Hey, let's take a selfie and post that. [02:36:17] Speaker B: I want to talk about knowledge that I follow him. Yeah, but he'll catch me looking at [02:36:22] Speaker A: it cameras and record how weird he. And like, I want to record a story. Facial expressions when we're not looking at him. Like, when we're engaged, I want to know if he's like, looking you up and down. Like, can I take this dude? Can I take this dude? Like, is he going to. You know how you make weird looks at people when they don't look at you but you know they're weird and you're just like. But you're sizing them up like, yeah, what's this dude about? [02:36:46] Speaker B: Like, if. If I was walking in my car alone and he happened to be out there, could he just have me? If he wanted me, could he. Or could he take me? [02:36:58] Speaker A: If I outside and he walked by, would he make a pass at me? Yeah, like, he's probably expecting you at some point to be like, hey, those are great picks on Instagram. To address the fact that you've made some comments on Instagram and the fact that you never acknowledge it, he's now questioning, is he tripping now? He really. Because he. He's going to believe by this point that you're gay. And now at this point, he's going to be like, I think I'm hobophobic. Because, like, this dude is not made one gay action towards me at all. [02:37:29] Speaker B: Yeah, no, that's the thing that he's gonna realize pretty quick is that it's mostly about dominance. [02:37:46] Speaker A: You know what? There might be a point where after the fifth unsent message, all of a sudden it's, hey, can I ask you a question? What do you. How would you define dominance? And then just leave it at that? And whatever he replies, we just don't reach out until we have another good question. A couple months down the road, we [02:38:10] Speaker B: have to invite him over with like a few other people so that for sure there's enough people in the room where he'll just sort of be scanning the room and he'll be looking. And then like, we. We meet eyes and I immediately just turn away. [02:38:33] Speaker A: Oh, dude, you can't. At this point, you can't do nothing that even insinuates that gives him thing of like, oh, he is gay. Nothing. [02:38:41] Speaker B: I'm there with my wife. I'm there with my wife and my daughter. [02:38:47] Speaker A: Okay, so let's walk this through. This is the whole night we could [02:38:55] Speaker B: have done A second podcast. Just. [02:38:58] Speaker A: Yeah. The whole night. You are very. You don't acknowledge nothing. You're very manly. You. You don't even really look in his direction at the very end. End of the night is the. You're watching him. As soon as he turns his head and looks at, you, quickly turn away. You do that once, and it's right before you get in the car. You leave that house. Wherever he's at, you do it once. You're gone. Now, mind you, he spent the whole night thinking, I'm tripping. This dude's so straight. What am I tripping on? [02:39:32] Speaker B: Like, it's like, the straightest guy I've ever seen. [02:39:35] Speaker A: Yeah, maybe I'm, like, thinking too deep into this, and then all of a sudden, you're going to give him the look, and he's gonna be like, I was fucking right. But then day two, three, four, and five come, and those days are spent. Was I right? [02:39:55] Speaker B: Because he'll only remember the main impression. The quick look is like a dream. It happened so fast. [02:40:03] Speaker A: That's. That's what I'm saying. The quick look sets up the doubt for the following days. [02:40:07] Speaker B: He can't quite remember if it even happened. You know? [02:40:14] Speaker A: Yeah. No, dude, I would love to part. I would be honored to follow you through the gates. The. The gates of Hemdale, if that's what you're asking. [02:40:24] Speaker B: I am asking that. [02:40:27] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. I want to do this with you so bad. [02:40:30] Speaker B: Like, we're doing this. Are you talking about what? [02:40:33] Speaker A: I know. I just don't. I don't think you understand how much this kid fucking annoys me. And I don't know why, bro, but he fucking knows. [02:40:39] Speaker B: I definitely. [02:40:39] Speaker A: So to do this. [02:40:40] Speaker B: Definitely don't understand that, but you need to understand how much I love shit like this. [02:40:48] Speaker A: Okay, So I met him once. Like. Okay, so here's one thing. If I'm on the phone with my daughter, I'm talking to my daughter. Don't care about who you are in the background. Don't care about, like, let her have her moment with her family. Sister, brother, dad, stepdad, mom. Don't give a fuck. Let her have her moment. You know, that's kind of rude to the other person on the phone. I don't know if he did that or not, but I feel like he did maybe once, but still just enough to be. Don't really care for him. And then when I met him, I was like, yeah, I really don't like this guy. Probably a cool dude. Maybe I misjudged him because he's 5 foot and he comes in with a live energy because I think it's the compensation for five foot. You gotta have either great personality or be really good looking. And he's not ugly. He thinks he's really good looking. He's not ugly, but he's not Brad Pitt. He's not, you know, I mean like you wouldn't be like. If you just saw his face, you wouldn't be like damn, that's a good looking dude. You'd be like, yeah, I can see him doing like an average Joe roll in a movie if that's what he's trying to do this headshot for. You know, I don't see him being the main star. I don't see him being a heartthrob just off his headshot. But then you see the body and you're like, ah yeah, definitely not dude. No. Like Tom Cruise is a one in a million dude like you. You got to do some to be Tom Cruise. You're not, you're not stepping on the scene with five foot. Anyhow. So he's got this loud personality and I just don't like the guy, dude. [02:42:22] Speaker B: Yeah. [02:42:22] Speaker A: I don't know. But my number one likes him. She's like, he's, he's cool people. He kind of maybe reminds me of stretch marks. Okay. In the sense of like I love stretch marks but there are times where I'm like slow it down, bro. But with stretch marks I have the comfortability to say slow it down. [02:42:43] Speaker B: Yeah. [02:42:44] Speaker A: And then I can let him loose when, when he needs, when, when, when I can be around it. Like when we're hanging out. And number one really enjoyed stretch marks hanging out with him. When she was out here, she was like, that's my kind of people. Like the dude's just funny and he just doesn't care how he comes across. If he acts like a chick, whatever. I get that in a safe space. I don't get that in public. Like I'm not going to be super comfortable. I'll be very open, but I'm not going to be, I won't be making gay jokes because and to someone I just met, you know what I mean? Unless I knew they were not gay or their stance on it. Like if I didn't know if they were liberal or not, I wouldn't be making a gay joke or a retard joke. I might our hard R joke. Well, it depends. But most more than likely, no. Especially if it will in the same situation. Especially if it's my. I don't know. You know, you know, it doesn't really matter. [02:43:44] Speaker B: Tell me if this is too much because we gotta, you know, we gotta really curate how this live meetup is gonna go. What if I went not super aggressive, but, like, I made my stance on homosexuality known? You know, like it came up and I kind of, you know, maybe even throw out the Q word, you know, little queers, you know what I mean? Like, that maybe that's the only thing I say. Maybe that one little. So almost under my breath, I just go, queers. Or something like that. And then that plants the. Oh, I guess he's not gay. Or he's real deep in the closet. [02:44:31] Speaker A: You know what? I don't think it's bad. I think you'll get the same place if even if we said something, you're like, that's so gay. [02:44:43] Speaker B: Yeah. [02:44:43] Speaker A: You know what I mean? Like, that's so gay. Like, what are you guys. Yeah, but then you do the whole joking question. What are you guys queers? You know, like, come on, keep it. And then you leave it at that. Yeah, you leave it at that. You. You hit the. The hard Q word. And he's like, whoa, you can even drop that F bomb. You guys are acting like a bunch of right now. And then he's like, no, this dude is not. But then it could be like hanging out with a black person. You're like, oh, that was hard up. Okay, but you. You could say that, but you know what I mean? Maybe he's like, dude, hit with the Q and the F. Oh, but maybe he could say that because he's Q and A. [02:45:27] Speaker B: Well, we make that weird eye contact and I scurry out of the house. I mean, I leave like, I just saw someone I owe money. And then as I'm. As I'm pulling out, as I'm pulling out, he sees right in the. Just the far left of my bumper rainbow sticker. [02:45:50] Speaker A: Dude, if you could fumble your keys, bro. If you could like, like try like [02:45:57] Speaker B: a zombie movie, pull my pocket and [02:45:59] Speaker A: do the two hand, like, try and just be like, all right. And then just take off awkwardly. [02:46:04] Speaker B: All right, I gotta get the out of here. [02:46:06] Speaker A: But I got. [02:46:09] Speaker B: I'm ashamed of myself and my body. I gotta go. [02:46:15] Speaker A: Dude, even if you said that, that would be. What did that mean? You know what I mean? I'm ashamed of myself in my. Yeah, gotta go, [02:46:30] Speaker B: Dude. [02:46:30] Speaker A: Can we please? [02:46:31] Speaker B: These passions are involuntary. [02:46:35] Speaker A: Let's do it. Let's do it. [02:46:36] Speaker B: Oh, we're doing it. Dude, stop. [02:46:38] Speaker A: I know. [02:46:39] Speaker B: It's like, it's hypothetical. We're in it. We are planning. [02:46:43] Speaker A: It all hinges on him accepting your follow request, right? [02:46:48] Speaker B: Ah, he would. He's gonna see that I follow number one. That'll get me in. [02:46:57] Speaker A: You're right. Because it does say the common. The friends in common. And it's gonna be number one one and. And the bit. The head honcho. [02:47:05] Speaker B: Yeah. His role model. [02:47:07] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. He's gonna be like, oh, cool. Except I wouldn't mind if he came down while we were in. In. You know what? Him coming down while we are in Newport prior to this taking place almost solidifies the not gay at first. [02:47:30] Speaker B: Right. [02:47:30] Speaker A: That plants the. You know what I mean? [02:47:32] Speaker B: Because we're meet you normally and it was totally normal. [02:47:36] Speaker A: Yeah. [02:47:37] Speaker B: So he feels like he knows and then the hards. He feels. Listen, he feels like he knows me and then 3:19 in the morning is gonna roll around and he doesn't know me anymore. [02:47:49] Speaker A: You know the crazy part about it is he's gonna think you think you know him. He's gonna be like, okay, so this dude got real comfortable real quick. We just met. He's trying to be cool. He's Harding. He's liking my stuff. And then it's. Man, he's really hard in my stuff. You know what I mean? Yeah. So like, after he meets you. [02:48:17] Speaker B: Yeah. [02:48:17] Speaker A: It's gonna be the same thing. He's gonna think you know him. And at the same time, he's gonna know you think that you know him. And this is why you're Harding and stuff. Because you think he's a little homo. Oh, he's gonna be like, this dude thinks I'm gay. [02:48:33] Speaker B: I picked up on it and I decided, oh, you know what? I think I've got. I think I got a fish on the hook. [02:48:42] Speaker A: Yeah. So he's gonna think you think he's gay. Yeah. [02:48:50] Speaker B: Oh, man. You hang out in a lot of restrooms, Jimmy? Yeah. You ever. [02:48:56] Speaker A: You know what I mean? [02:48:56] Speaker B: You ever go to that one place down in Laguna? [02:49:01] Speaker A: Yeah. You don't see the name of. You ever go to that one place down Laguna? [02:49:04] Speaker B: Oh, you. [02:49:04] Speaker A: No, no, no, no, no, no. [02:49:06] Speaker B: I don't follow him yet until I meet him in person. Then when. [02:49:12] Speaker A: That's what I'm saying. That's when he will accept your follow request too. [02:49:16] Speaker B: Okay. I thought you meant like, follow him now, but not do anything until I've met him. [02:49:20] Speaker A: But no, what you're gonna meet and then he's gonna go home. You're gonna follow request him. He's like, oh, dude, this Dude's chill. [02:49:27] Speaker B: No, here it is. Here it is. I tell him, do I know you from somewhere, dude? And then, and then when we start talking about like places we've been, things we've done, I just throw in a couple little slightly off color things. Like, you ever go to any bars, like down to Laguna or anything like that? Like, I hang out down Laguna sometimes. [02:49:53] Speaker A: That's not a bad idea. [02:49:55] Speaker B: Without ever giving a name too much, [02:50:00] Speaker A: it's not a bad idea. But I think it's gonna be so much greater when you're just straight as an arrow. [02:50:06] Speaker B: You're right. [02:50:07] Speaker A: And then all of a sudden the gay hits and he's gonna be like, what is going on? [02:50:11] Speaker B: There's a gay tornado and it's headed right for your town, buddy. There's a, there's a tornado of dick and it's coming for you. [02:50:20] Speaker A: And then I see probably like around year three, mark one of your messages, like, hey, I gotta head up to Costa Mesa area. You want to grab a bite to eat [02:50:32] Speaker B: unsend? [02:50:34] Speaker A: Yeah, isn't that your Nick of the woods? Want to grab a bite at this time? He's so confused. He's so confused. He doesn't know if he wants it because it's wrong or if like he doesn't want it, but he loves the attention you give him. [02:50:56] Speaker B: So here's the granddaddy of them all. And this will probably be the finale. Like there's probably no coming back from this. [02:51:05] Speaker A: You're gonna try and suck his dick? [02:51:06] Speaker B: Nah. Well, try, dude. [02:51:08] Speaker A: That would be try. Would that not be, Would that not be the criminal Grim. Come on, take one for the team. Quit being so selfish. [02:51:18] Speaker B: And then, and then I go, you're gay. This was a long term break that you just fell for, buddy. No, no, no. The. The finale is message him three in the morning, like always. I mean, this has to be like the last thing. And I just. Two words. You up. But it's like a U. It's just the, the letter U. And then, and then like he's sleeping, right? So he's not going to respond. 45 minutes later I message again. And I go, never mind. [02:52:05] Speaker A: That is universal for like a girl. I'm horny. I took care of it. You never responded. [02:52:14] Speaker B: I edged for 45 minutes and you never responded. And it's over now. [02:52:20] Speaker A: Yeah, dude. And then unfollow him. Unfollow him and block him [02:52:28] Speaker B: and never speak to him again. [02:52:30] Speaker A: Yeah, dude, I'm telling you, this is great, bro. I want to write this down. I Gotta talk to number one. [02:52:39] Speaker B: Yeah. [02:52:40] Speaker A: Because this isn't gonna be out by, by next Wednesday. [02:52:45] Speaker B: It. This should be out Monday. [02:52:48] Speaker A: This coming Monday. This will be out. [02:52:50] Speaker B: It. It should be. [02:52:53] Speaker A: Probably won't be. [02:52:54] Speaker B: But it's a. It's a three hour podcast already, so I'm not sure I can edit it in time and then, you know that [02:53:01] Speaker A: and listen to it. Yeah. All right, man. Well, I look forward to our live and I look forward to this little plan we have. [02:53:09] Speaker B: Oh, this is. I'm so glad that we kept talking because we never would have come up with this. [02:53:16] Speaker A: Yeah, this is. This is. This is a gold mine, dude. [02:53:19] Speaker B: Do you even remember how this came about? We were talking about people discovering the podcast because we did it at your Airbnb. That led to my wife discovering it. That led to funny stories. That led to, hey, who's this? What. What's. What's Chelsea's daughter's name? Didn't that led to this guy and how we're gonna root his life? Is that not crazy? [02:53:46] Speaker A: Yeah, this guy. This guy's been on my, my radar since we talked about it. Yeah. Because she was like, you know what? I'm just gonna remain friends with him. And I was just like, I think that's a horrible idea. But I'm biased. But I'm like, sure, I think that's a horrible idea. In my mind, I don't like this kid that just showed his character. I wouldn't want him around my circle. So I was kind of like, she's gonna dump him. And then she didn't. So I'm like, okay. Found myself a punching bag. [02:54:18] Speaker B: You wanted this. You wanted this kid in my life, [02:54:21] Speaker A: you know, hey, you won. He's your friend now. [02:54:25] Speaker B: Your mom now. [02:54:27] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. [02:54:29] Speaker B: All right, I gotta get to bed. You're getting up at 3:30 or something crazy. [02:54:37] Speaker A: Yeah. Latest I could get up is like four. [02:54:39] Speaker B: You're mixing cement before the sun comes up or something crazy. [02:54:43] Speaker A: No, dude, no. I just got. I'm just kind of in a babysitter role again, dude. Where I'm just kind of like. They show up, we do all the safety stuff. [02:54:51] Speaker B: I was just kidding. [02:54:51] Speaker A: I said there. I didn't get my feelings hurt. I was simply trying to let you know I'm not doing hard at five. [02:54:59] Speaker B: And I'm trying to let you know I listen to you and I know what you do. I don't want you to think that I still think you're mixing cement. [02:55:09] Speaker A: That's all I've ever just wanted to be heard. You know what I mean? [02:55:15] Speaker B: Yeah. [02:55:18] Speaker A: You're different. [02:55:20] Speaker B: All right, well, concluding. What I want to say is my favorite episode of all time. This is probably our best episode. [02:55:28] Speaker A: It's a little bit of a roller coaster. [02:55:30] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, it's like the Departed. Nah, it's like the Godfather. [02:55:36] Speaker A: You know what? I think this is almost one where you gotta, like, put a clip of the end at the beginning. [02:55:42] Speaker B: Okay. [02:55:44] Speaker A: You know what I'm saying? [02:55:45] Speaker B: Yeah. [02:55:46] Speaker A: Because it got better as it got closer to the end. [02:55:50] Speaker B: I think I know exactly what to do. I know exactly what clip to put in. [02:55:56] Speaker A: All right, brother. [02:55:57] Speaker B: All right. [02:55:57] Speaker A: This has been pseudonyms, everyone. [02:55:59] Speaker B: Have a great week, everybody.