058: Mutual Pleasure

[00:00:00] Speaker A: All right. How's. How's your, how's your time been, man? How's your week been? How's. How's Jimmy? You, you comment on Jimmy at all lately? [00:00:10] Speaker B: No, not since that first one. I think, like, less than once a month is, Is good. I think we're gonna be glad that we. Slow roll it. [00:00:23] Speaker A: Okay. [00:00:26] Speaker B: Yeah, it was. It was a day, man. Got about three, four hours of sleep, fighting with the wife. Terrible, terrible day. [00:00:39] Speaker A: Mmm. I'm sorry to hear that, man. You want to share what you guys were fighting about? [00:00:46] Speaker B: Nothing. It was 150% nothing. It was just her being an. Because she's sore or tired. [00:00:58] Speaker A: That's exciting, man. I, I mean, like, yeah, that's gonna. Gonna bring the listeners in. Spill the tea, bro. [00:01:06] Speaker B: That was. I. Dude, when I tell you it was nothing, I mean, it was literally that. It was just. I. I get home and I get a whole bunch of attitude, and I'm like, hey, what the fuck's. What the fuck's up? And she goes, I'm miserable. And I'm like, well, go to sleep then. Or something. Like, relax. And then she did. Then she just went to sleep and left me with the kid. [00:01:32] Speaker A: So. Yeah. So Ziggy was on kid patrol. [00:01:36] Speaker B: Am I Ziggy? [00:01:38] Speaker A: Ziggy Stardust, bro. [00:01:41] Speaker B: Yep. Yep. So, I mean, I think since you're so into. Oh, now we talk about the Black Mamba too much. You can't be the Black Mamba. I thought that would be hilarious. Make you the Black Mamba. [00:01:55] Speaker A: I ain't gonna lie. I was like, I hope he. He gives me Black Mamba tonight. [00:02:01] Speaker B: Well, then you. [00:02:01] Speaker A: I was looking through my notes, and I was like, man, I hope. Hope he calls me Black Mamba. That'd be so good, because I almost called you that. [00:02:08] Speaker B: I think it'd be funny now. Well, it. It won't be complicated if we don't make it complicated. So you're the Mamba. I'm Ziggy. [00:02:18] Speaker A: I, [00:02:20] Speaker B: I, I already formed my alter ego. I hope that's what we were supposed to do. [00:02:27] Speaker A: Yeah, perfect. Hold on to that thought. Let's talk about. [00:02:32] Speaker B: That's for the end. That's for the end of the show. But I will just say. I will just say it's as useful as it is hilarious. So get ready. [00:02:43] Speaker A: All right. But we might restructure that. Okay. All right. This is perfect, man. This is great stuff. All right, man. So how's your week been, though? [00:02:54] Speaker B: Oh, it's just the same shit, man. Just getting screamed at by a toddler all day and wondering if I'm a good parent and not getting any love from my wife either, and just trying to focus on writing and making music. [00:03:14] Speaker A: I'm not gonna lie, dude. It's never felt so nice to be me. When I talk to you, I'm like, man, I'm. I am. I'm doing just. I'm all right. I'm all right. [00:03:28] Speaker B: If. If there's one thing I'm good for, [00:03:35] Speaker A: it's comparison. My week's been pretty cool, dude. Just kind of chill. I mean, we started a. A thing called Freedom at a different church. Like, we're not going to the church, but I joined it. Stretch Mark's been talking about it, so myself in Miami joined it. Dude, so many things I don't know. Anyhow, I'm not gonna moan and gripe about that, but the curriculum seems cool. The. The group seems gay. You know what I mean? Like, it seems like a bunch of young, feminine dudes, you know? Like, they're all. They're a bunch of married couples, but, like, all the dudes are, like, young, and they're kind of like stretch marks, you know what I mean? Where they're a little flamboyant, and so. I don't know, man, but it'll be cool. I mean, I'm gonna go one more time with. With Miami, see if we like it. If they like it, great. If not, we move on, and we do the curriculum by ourselves. We bought the book, so that's cool. [00:04:40] Speaker B: Yeah, man, I. I did get into an argument with my sister about peaceful parenting last night, which I thought was pretty hilarious since she has no children. [00:04:55] Speaker A: 1 and 2. Were you guys yelling? Like, when you say argument, were you yelling? [00:04:59] Speaker B: No. No, we don't. [00:05:02] Speaker A: So great. Like, you not doing nothing. Peaceful yelling about peaceful parenting. That would have been great, bro. [00:05:10] Speaker B: You son of a bitch. I slapped to someone who doesn't have kids. Yeah, well, you know, I think that my daughter is wearing on everyone, so everybody's just starting to have an opinion. You know, she's screaming at 6 in the morning, waking everyone up. And I think that's leading to everyone just needing to have an opinion about how we discipline her and how, you know, just how we treat her in general. [00:05:48] Speaker A: Do you discipline her? [00:05:51] Speaker B: Yeah, but, like, I don't hit her. And I try not to yell at her because it's fruitless. But, you know, her position basically was like, yeah, some kids need to be hit. If I had kids, I'd probably hit them. So I was just like, okay, so do you hit your employees? No, I couldn't do that. [00:06:20] Speaker A: Okay. [00:06:21] Speaker B: If a cop pulls someone over for speeding and punches them in the face so that they don't do that again, is that cool? [00:06:29] Speaker A: Like, [00:06:32] Speaker B: so you know, it. It was just. We went around and around and sort. It was pretty hilarious, dude, because it was just like, well, you know, some people are just how they're going to be forever from the time they're born, and there's no changing them. And I'm like, okay, so then why discipline them? You know, it's just like, she just had nothing, dude. Got a sociology degree, had nothing on this. [00:07:02] Speaker A: I feel like I can argue that position a little better. I don't know if hitting is the correct discipline, but definitely trained my daughters so that when I spoke, they listened. Like, there was no, let's keep doing it. It was like when I spoke, they stopped. Or you face the wall or you lose your tablet and I just stick to it. No, dude, earlier I told you to do this. Like, I had to do it tonight, actually. To number four. Like, she started getting a little feisty and started talking. I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. First of all, you don't talk to me like that. Like, I know your friend talks to your. Her mom like that. Because I've heard her and I've said this. When she's on speakerphone with her friend at her friend's house, I'm like, I know her mom lets her talk like that. Maybe I don't know how she talks to her dad. I was like, but you will not talk to me like that. You want to do that? You come home, you can stop hanging out the little girl, and you can leave your tablet and the phone I pay for I. On the counter. [00:07:57] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:07:58] Speaker A: And then when she does that, I take stuff away. [00:08:02] Speaker B: Yeah. And look, you've got a great relationship. She loves you and she's not afraid of you, but she respects you. [00:08:10] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:08:11] Speaker B: That's fucking crazy. I wonder how that happened, because you did. I do scream at her. Hitter. [00:08:18] Speaker A: No. But I do discipline her. Like, facing the wall is facing the wall taking. Like last night. Last night, she didn't do what I told her to do. I said, hey, be home by 7:30. 7:30 roll 7:40 rolls around. I'm at Bible study. And I call her because I see that she's not home. And I'm like, whoa, hey, dude. Like, why aren't you home? She's like, oh, I don't call her. I text her. And she's like, oh, I'm getting my Stuff together. I said, that's not what I said. I didn't say, start getting your stuff together at 7:30. I said, be home before 7:30. She was like, oh. I said, all right, well, when you get home, put your tablet and your. Put your tablet in your phone on the table. Cuz, like, you don't. You don't get it no more. She's like, well, please, I'm sorry. I'm like, nah, dude, no, no, no, no. I'm done with the whole. I'm sorry because you just keep doing it. Put your tablet and your phone on table. Quit texting me. I'm at Bible study. And that was it. She wasn't happy with me. But I ain't here to be your friend right now. I'm here to be your disciplinary. I'll be your friend when you're 18. [00:09:21] Speaker B: Yeah, right now when she screams, she has to go into her room, which it just makes perfect sense. It's like she doesn't want to leave, but she's also not allowed to scream out in the living room. She grasps at this age that that's the punishment or the discipline, rather, for, you know, for screaming. And now when I tell her to go to her room, she stops screaming. It's like, I never had to yell at her. I never had to hit her. And I think the big thing that people miss is that they. They associate discipline with just yelling and hitting, you know, or, you know, something abusive like that. But, like, you just gave a perfect example of how you didn't lose your cool. You didn't use violence, you didn't demean her or anything. You just. You set out the boundaries and she broke them and faced the consequences. You know, I don't get what's so difficult about that. But, like, you know, for someone who carries so much trauma for having been yelled at as a child, it's wild to me to hear her justify that, you know? [00:10:42] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I could see that for sure. [00:10:47] Speaker B: Yeah. And I said, so when you got yelled at as a kid, did it scare you? Did you like that? And she. She goes, I got used to it. And I'm like, yeah, okay. So you're describing trauma, you're describing. Yeah. And I was like, people can get used to getting molested. Doesn't make it cool. [00:11:08] Speaker A: Okay, so this is something new that I'm experiencing, and it's kind of weird. So I picked up number four from school the other day, and she's like, hey, can you meet my friend's mom? We want to have A play date. I'm like, sure, whatever. So I made her friends mom. And she was, hi. You know, we introduce ourselves, and she goes, yeah, I'm a cop. I'm like, oh, right on. Right away, dude. I go into, like, protective mode. I'm like, don't give up nothing. You don't have to. So of course I have to give her my correct name because my daughter's staying there. She's gonna call my. My ass out if I don't. [00:11:48] Speaker B: Mm. [00:11:49] Speaker A: But she's asking where I. She's like, oh, so where do you live? And I, like, freeze for a minute. I'm like, oh, don't freeze. She's a cop. Like, she's reading this right now. Is like, oh, you just lied to me. And I'm like, over off of. You know, And I'm like, trying to figure out my street names. So I tell her, and then, like, she saves my number. She was. She was, okay, so I put in your name. She's like, your last name. And I'm like, she, like, black, what's your last name? And I'm like, oh, great. Now she's gonna run a background check on me. You know what I mean? Like, I'm just, like, in my mind, like, oh, my gosh. So, like, I. I go pick up number four today from a play date with her, and. And she's in, like, really good shape. Like, she's one of those chicks that doesn't really have a chest. She's in that kind of shape, you know? I mean, she's not ripped, though. She's just really trim. And so she goes. What she say? She goes, so, like, she was. She said something about, oh, her daughter asked to spend that. She was, no, we have a rule. She don't get to spend night nowhere. So just so you know. And I'm like, no, that's cool. I'm a. I was like, I. I was a victim of staying at an adult's house, if you catch my drift. And she was like, oh. I was like, so, like, children's innocence to me is, like, priority number one. Like, you touch. Do something to a kid. We write it Dawn. And she was like, I totally agree. And. But the whole time. And I'm like, the whole time, she goes, what is your. She said something. She was. I go, dude, I just have to be honest. Like, I. Like, I feel like you're just taking all these notes on me. Mental notes. Like, my name, where I live at, like, everything you can to gather on me and shows. Yeah, I was I'm not gonna lie. Like, I was, I was observing all your tattoos and I go, they're biblical. And she goes, yeah, I know. And I'm like, okay, cool. And then like I left and I like text her cuz I'm like, dude, she clearly saw evil ways on my, on my arms. So like I text her and I'm like, hey, like just let you know, like I did get not good tattoos in my B.C. life. I was like, but like I know you saw evil ways. I was like just, just letting you know. So. Yeah, but I just felt really self conscious. Like, like really nervous. Like I. And I don't know if it's because like it's for number four, you know, I mean, so that number four can have that friendship or, you know, because if it was me, I don't think I'd really care. Like, I don't want to be your friend if you're a cop. Like I have cop friends. They're cool. Like I don't like if you don't want to be my friend because you think I did. So cool. But you're now kind of like the, the, the daughter's friend's dad. So now my daughter's involved and so now it's like hypersensitive on both sides. I'm sure she wouldn't even care to check my background if it was just we had met through work or you know, out somewhere like. But we met as parents of children that are going to be engaging. So. I don't know, man, it's. It was just really like really nervous. [00:15:23] Speaker B: Yeah, I wouldn't like that. I, I had a buddy, it was my, my girlfriend and my buddy and me, and we had to pick up his girlfriend and her dad was a cop and he requested ahead of time that we all come to the door to get her. [00:15:46] Speaker A: Yeah, that's wise. [00:15:48] Speaker B: Yeah, sure, I get, I get why. But like he comes to the door and he just stares at all of us, looking us up and down and says nothing. And I'm like, dude, I mean like you gotta at least be a person. Like you can't just be that much of a. [00:16:06] Speaker A: That's awesome. One, he put fear into you. Two, he just recorded everything you guys were wearing. Okay. My daughter went out with four dudes. One looks like friggin, you know, one looks like this, one looks like that. They're wearing this. [00:16:19] Speaker B: No, I get that's what he was doing. He didn't put fear in me. He made himself look like a jackass to me. I was I wasn't doing anything wrong, so I wasn't afraid of this guy. [00:16:31] Speaker A: I would have probably walked up and, like. I would have probably looked at him and then walked up and kind of, like, said something in a joke, you know? I mean. But I would have shook all their hands and been straight up with them. I think I definitely. Probably would have done that. [00:16:44] Speaker B: Yeah. I've just. I mean, it's hard for me to put myself there mentally, but, I mean, I. I definitely would have just had a normal conversation and taken notes mentally. [00:16:54] Speaker A: You been in a position, like. Like I explained, like, being nervous in someone's presence. [00:17:00] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, yeah. [00:17:03] Speaker A: Do you, like. How do you get through that? Do you just kind of, like, wrestle with it the whole time? Do you kind of transform into a character? Ziggy Stardust. What do you do? What do you. What do you do to get past the nervousness? [00:17:25] Speaker B: I've never been in a situation like that where I couldn't just get out of it, you know? Like, I've. [00:17:34] Speaker A: I've been. [00:17:35] Speaker B: Well, you know, I guess when I've been pulled over, I get really nervous, even if I'm not really doing anything wrong. I think just everyone's pretty nervous around cops, so I don't know. Most people. [00:17:50] Speaker A: Probably most people. I mean, I'm definitely not, like, now in my life, but when I was riding dirty, yeah, Anytime a cop was behind me, I was like, oh, turn on the radio, guys. Turn on the radio. Like, just. [00:18:04] Speaker B: I mean, I get like that when I've got the cruise control on the speed limit. I don't want them behind me. I don't want them beside me. I'm glad when they speed up 75 miles an hour and go around me, you know? Like, I don't fucking want them around. So I guess when I've been pulled over, I definitely put myself more in. Oh, like we were talking about a couple weeks ago when I. When I've dropped a couple times. Yeah, that's true. That helps. But, like, I'll even talk a little softer than I normally talk, you know, just to make myself even less threatening. [00:18:44] Speaker A: There's a video I want to say his last name is Boss. He's ex CIA or FBI negotiator. [00:18:50] Speaker B: He talks about Chris Voss. [00:18:52] Speaker A: Yes. All the different tones. Like, you totally getting your. Your radio DJ tone. You're like, well, officer, was. No, I have no clue. Was I. Was I speeding? [00:19:05] Speaker B: You know, I. I almost go a little more gay. Like, not full gay, but I'm definitely like, oh, yeah, you know, I'm I'm sorry about that. You know, like, I almost, like, soften it just because I don't want this guy to feel like, is that a [00:19:25] Speaker A: gun in your pocket? Are you just happy to see me? But you're kind of like, is that your gun? [00:19:32] Speaker B: Wow. Is that your gun? That's a pretty big one. I've seen a lot of big ones in my day. No, but just, like. Just to give this kind of air of, like, almost ignorance of, like, oh, well, I would never do anything wrong, you know? So, like, what. What is this about? You know? And, you know, that's. But. But I even said a couple weeks ago that I've dropped a couple times on the cops. Like, hey, man, are people being good to you out here? You know, Like, I know this is a rough time. [00:20:07] Speaker A: More. More like that? Like, more. [00:20:09] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:20:10] Speaker A: I'm almost more open with them, Like a. Not. Honestly, you don't be straight up, like I thought or. Now you got me, man. Now. Yeah. I was going 65 and 35. I thought I was on the freeway. I just kind of like. You know, when you zone out, you look like you're just kind of, like, focused on your day, but you drive the freeway so much that you just automatically. Because I go 65 on the freeway, you know, that's. That's sometimes the rule I play. Like. Yeah, like, I just went into, like, cruise mode, man. [00:20:40] Speaker B: So, yeah, one. One time, I think it was 51 in a 35 zone, and it was Easter Sunday, and we were on our way to church, and my wife is a witness to this. It was a female cop. And she goes, do you know how. How fast you were going? And I was like. And. And honestly, I wasn't going fast. I was getting. I was going around someone. And that's when she nailed me, because I always. I always pretty much go the speed limit. But this one fucking time, someone pulled out right in front of me, and I had to speed around them to avoid hitting them. And. And. And she got me, and I was like. And, you know, I don't really answer questions because I know how that goes. So I go, no, nope. Don't know how fast I was going. And she goes, oh, well, it was 51. And I just go. And I didn't get it. I've never gotten a ticket, so that's awesome. [00:21:45] Speaker A: What if you had to put a name on that dude? What would you name him? [00:21:53] Speaker B: That dude? Oh, man, he's. [00:21:55] Speaker A: He's the dude that talks to the cops. [00:21:58] Speaker B: He's Chuck for sure. He's he's an everyman, you know, he's kind of a blue collar guy, you know, Was he. [00:22:07] Speaker A: Was he born Chuck or was he born Charles and goes by Chuck? [00:22:12] Speaker B: You know, the. The history there is so blurry that no one could know it's. He's been called that at least since college. [00:22:21] Speaker A: I picture Chuck rugged. I pick a char. I picture a Charles, like someone more like you. You know, the dude can do some shit. You just don't know what he can do. You know what I'm saying? [00:22:36] Speaker B: Charles is like. The guys in the office call him Chuck. You know, he's. He's still Charles when he goes home. [00:22:45] Speaker A: Exactly. That's what, you know, like the. Like the. The businessman that. That can get done, like, physically and mentally. But Chuck to me, is not dumb. But Chuck is very much a brute. Like, that dude's an alpha. [00:22:59] Speaker B: Yes. [00:23:00] Speaker A: You know, he is. He is not into. Hey, what? He's on a metrosexual. You don't care about manicures. Like, his nails just don't go because they're afraid of his clippers, you know? [00:23:12] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, he's a rough and tumble guy. He likes. He likes the Coors Golden. [00:23:22] Speaker A: Oh, okay. I like that. My. My pulled over alter ego would probably be named Mike. Just your average everyday guy, sir. [00:23:32] Speaker B: You know, exactly what does that say about us? That our alter egos are like, these very normal people are. [00:23:40] Speaker A: Our alter egos are, like, turned down three notches. [00:23:44] Speaker B: Yeah. We must be big personalities with a heart and everything. [00:23:51] Speaker A: Yeah, [00:23:54] Speaker B: that. That makes me pretty excited to tell you about the alter ego I chose later. But I know that's for the end. [00:24:03] Speaker A: Okay, so I won't start with my opening question, which was, what would your alto alter ego's name be? [00:24:11] Speaker B: Yeah, because that gives it away. [00:24:13] Speaker A: Yeah, no shit. Now I'm not. [00:24:16] Speaker B: Okay, thanks. [00:24:19] Speaker A: I'm not playing. [00:24:20] Speaker B: You know what? My alter ego wouldn't get offended by that. So you're fine. [00:24:24] Speaker A: Okay, well, I don't have. I'm kind of struggling. My alter ego is there. What do you call it when they hear, like, multiple voice, they have multiple person. My alter ego is multiple personalities, bro. Okay, Because Chuck is definitely an alter ego. Or not Chuck, but Mike, I have an alter ego. Like, when I walk, like, there's a Chucky. When I enter a room, there's a Chucky that demands, like, not attention, but, like a respect. You know what I mean? [00:25:02] Speaker B: Confidence. [00:25:04] Speaker A: Yeah. But in my head, I have someone pictured, you know? [00:25:09] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, I definitely picture someone else. When I'm out In public, I'm almost, like, shocked when I pass a mirror and I'm like, oh, that's what I look like. You know? [00:25:26] Speaker A: Like, yeah, there were times of that I. Gosh, I would love to own two weeks of your life. [00:25:42] Speaker B: My life? [00:25:44] Speaker A: Yeah. Just own them. Where you're like, hey, tell me what to do for the next two weeks. Give me a schedule, and I'm on it. I would love to. To just own your life for two weeks. [00:25:54] Speaker B: Why is that? [00:25:59] Speaker A: I don't know, man. I just think you have a lot. [00:26:01] Speaker B: Get to know me better. [00:26:04] Speaker A: No, just in general. [00:26:06] Speaker B: Okay. [00:26:08] Speaker A: You know, I just think. I think. I think that it's exactly what I said. I think you have more potential than you believe you have. And I'm not saying you don't believe you have a potential potential. I think you actually believe you have potential. And there. I love that. I just think, like, I think if you incorporate a couple things, you could start. Not that I'm some guru, but it's just from talking to you where I'm just like, you know, I think if he incorporated something like this or actually, like, pushed himself. I think it's your push. If he actually pushed himself to, like. And I would almost take some baby steps, like, hey, first thing, write down your goals. Second thing, write down all the steps. Those. Give it to me. Let me read it. Okay. Now we. Now. Now we make a game plan. That's honestly what I. What I would want. [00:26:58] Speaker B: Mm. [00:26:59] Speaker A: If you don't envision yourself doing some great shit, you're not gonna do the great shit, bro. And I'm not saying envisioning it comes true, but, like, Sugar Free said, if you stay ready, you ain't got to get ready. You know, if you stay ready, what do you. What you got get ready for? And that's honestly how I approach construction. Like, I want to have. I used to. Now I'm like, hey, I hired. You bring your tools. I used to carry every tool I had, and they were very organized, so they would fit in my truck without being a disturbance. And anytime someone needed something, I would go out and just say, hey, I got one. Oh, you need a whole saw? You got one. Oh, you need this? I got one. Now I'm like, y', all, I got, like, basic tools to get my job done if I have to do something. But I'm not doing your job, dude. You go. You should have known. You know, But I have a. Also, like, a vision of. And I've always had it, of being a VP of a construction company. Like, since I entered construction, people would ask me, like, so, like, where do you want to be at the end of your career? And I'm like, I want to be number two. I don't want to be number one. I know how I am at number one. I want to be number two. I'll earn number one or number two. But maybe at the. The later part of my career, like, instead of retiring, I'll move into a number one position. You know what I mean? [00:28:23] Speaker B: Mm. [00:28:25] Speaker A: So, yeah, I think. And then from there, we just take steps to attack that dude and we push. We don't. We don't let ourselves give up. I'm dying to myself because I think of, like, fitness. I. I'm like, fitness is like, that one thing where I'm like, I just don't want to, you know? [00:28:45] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:28:45] Speaker A: But here I am, like, man, I'm so fat, I just want to lose some weight, you know? So instead, I'm in the starving myself phase right now. Unless it works. All right, so tonight's topic is often. And it was really weird because this. This phrase kept coming up every time I started, like, doing research on. It was imposter syndrome. And I don't know if it comes up, because Todd Herman has kind of addressed that. He's kind of like, the expert in this field of alter egos. But in case you guys don't know who Todd Herman is, because I did not until I started researching, he is the guy who Kobe Bryant got with and created the Black Mamba. Okay, so. And we'll talk about all that. But imposter syndrome is a psychological pattern where people doubt their skills or success. Is that what you thought, Ziggy, when. When you heard imposter syndrome? [00:29:51] Speaker B: I almost feel like it's more like you don't. You didn't deserve to get where you are. [00:30:01] Speaker A: I kind of feel it's that I almost think it. So for me, it's a blend of what they say it is and that. So, like, when I first heard it, like, imposter syndrome, my first thought was, like, if I had imposter syndrome, what would I be thinking? And I was like, when are they gonna find out? And so that's where it's kind of like, I think you're totally right. Like, when are they going to find out? And. But again, you don't think you deserve to be there, because the definition is you're in a pattern where people doubt their skills are success. So you're. You earned it. You just don't believe it. And that's I think that's how I lived until I was 40. Like, when I was 40 and I was sitting on the porch, and it hit me, like, people like me. People think I'm, like, cool, actually. Like, people like, I. Yeah, I. I am, dude. I am. Like, I'm being genuine with these people, and for them to say that, like, heck, yeah, dude. Like, I'm all about it. So I totally get that imposter syndrome. Kind of, like, casing that. That kind of jacket or coat you wear, you know, and fog you're in. And feel free to. If you have that document in front of you, feel free to kind of, like, jump in and take the next one or whatever. I don't want this. You know, it seems like when we create notes, we kind of, like, lead that night. All right. All right. [00:31:28] Speaker B: Yeah, I've got it open. Well, I was just thinking, like, just past experiences with imposter syndrome. [00:31:39] Speaker A: You've experienced imposter syndrome? [00:31:40] Speaker B: You think, oh, for sure. I mean, in. In every job I've ever had, there comes a point, usually pretty early on, and if I'm lucky, it goes away, but then sometimes it'll kind of keep being there the whole time, where it's just like, oh, you know, like, I definitely lied in my interview. I'm definitely not as qualified for this as they think I am. And, like, I'm fucking things up now, and they're gonna kind of figure it out, you know? [00:32:13] Speaker A: Yeah. So. And honestly, damn, dude. It kind of goes back to what I was just saying when I was like, I think you have more potential than you think you have. I think you sometimes live in imposter. I think currently you live in an imposter syndrome, but I think it's because of your atmosphere and situation. [00:32:32] Speaker B: Okay. Like, I found on that, [00:32:36] Speaker A: like, right now you're staying home. You're dealing with a lot of. Because, you know, clearly you got a kid that is home all day as well. You know what I mean? And she gets up early and Are you. I'm not going to insinuate, but I have my thoughts. Are you taking her out to the park every day or going somewhere every day? [00:33:00] Speaker B: Yeah, we go to a play place nearby the house most days. [00:33:05] Speaker A: Is it. Is it McDonald's? [00:33:08] Speaker B: No, it's. It's like an actual. It's like, just a play place. [00:33:12] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We have a membership McDonald's. It was. It was a cheap one. It was like, oh, cool, I'm eating. Okay. All right. [00:33:19] Speaker B: So they still have. [00:33:20] Speaker A: That's awesome. Yeah, they do some, some of them out here still have them. I think that's great that that's like, that's good that you're. But I think there's a part of you that, I don't know, man, it just feels like maybe contentment, maybe that's what I'm looking for, that you're, you're not content. But, like, it is what it is, and this is the situation. And I think you're limiting yourself by accepting that. [00:33:47] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, definitely, partly that. Um, you know, like, when I'm listening to you talk about, like, goal setting and, you know, laying out the steps and believing you can do it and stuff, I'm like, that's great. I have no idea what the goal is. It's like, I don't, I don't have a career. [00:34:06] Speaker A: That's, you know, that's part of it, though. No, but you, that don't mean you can't start having. Dude, my career in construction didn't start but like eight, nine years ago, bro. [00:34:17] Speaker B: Sure. [00:34:17] Speaker A: I'm just like, I, I tell people, like, I started at this. Now I do this and make this, and I did it within eight years. It's. I knew dick about construction, but once I was in it, I was like, I could do this. I know I can do anything that. And I think you're the same way because you're a bright dude. You can do most things that have to do with your mind pretty easily because it's kind of like, well, that goes there. I might not be as fast as somebody who knows it all the time and does it all the time, whether it's looking at blueprints, hitting a nail, directing people. It's just logical stuff to us. Well, yeah, that's gonna proceed that. Okay, you. If, well, if you guys can't both work there, go find something. Like, obviously, then go find some. Can you work somebody else somewhere else? Okay, cool. Go do that then. And then when he's done, you come over here. I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell you. I think with most stuff and you could, you can actually take that even to a corporate aspect of life. I did, I did well as a, in marketing. I started as a marketing coordinator, end up as a director of marketing by. Not by year nine. I mean, like, you have that same kind of like common sense, introspective, all that stuff that those people need and you know how to talk to people. I think you, I, I, it's funny because the next question actually is going to touch on what I'm asking, have you frozen up during a presentation, felt imposter syndrome at a new job, or lost patients with your kids when you wanted to calm, to be calm. I often think of, like when you. When you used to speak in a group setting, you, like, get really red. Oh, yeah, you know, you. Yeah, yeah. You know, you get red and then you get in your head at that point as well. So stretch marks. Stretch marks. Yes. So stretch mark shared with me. He goes, he goes, hey, like, my girl will make comments when she goes down on me. Like, she'll make comments like, dude, can you just hurry up already? And he goes, dude, I just like, like, I just can't, like, climax when she's going down on me, like, ever. It takes me forever. And I'm like, cuz, you're in your head, bro. I go, I do the same thing with, with. With Miami. Like, I'll actually have to stop and just say, all right, like, but Miami also knew, because I'm a servant. [00:36:45] Speaker B: Be. [00:36:45] Speaker A: I'm a worker. Be that when I'm getting pleasured, because I'm a pleasurer. So when I'm getting pleasured, I'm like, like, okay, enough about me. Like, how about you? And I'm in my head. So I'm like, like, I'm taking forever. Oh my gosh. Well, now I just kind of set myself back even further. But what Miami did, Miami was like, hey, like, relax, it's cool. I got you. And I'm like. She's like, I'll stay down here all night. I don't care. Like, just relax. And it was like, okay. And often, sometimes I'll get in my head, I'll hear, that's why we can't do it with the TV on. TV's on. And she's down there. Somebody be house hunting. And I'm like, oh, that's way better than the beachfront property. Like, you know what I mean? [00:37:31] Speaker B: And like, look at that. Artisanal. [00:37:33] Speaker A: Well, yeah. And then I'm like, fighting, like, okay, get back in. And she's down there. And then like, I'll ignore for like, I don't know, seems like 10 seconds. And I'm like, oh, granite countertops. [00:37:42] Speaker B: Let me see. [00:37:43] Speaker A: You know what I mean? Like, so. So I feel like that's almost like your situation when you talk in front of people, talking in front of people, and you turn red. You get in your head and you're. Now you're not focused on what you're saying and reading. You're more trying to just robotically read, but you're focused on your whole body turning red. Like, I bet my cheeks are red. Oh, my gosh. Like, I bet I'm so right. [00:38:07] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:38:08] Speaker A: When you're in a professional. Professional setting and you're a leader, no matter professional or, you know, not, I guess, but in a career setting, you're a leader, you're gonna be talking in front of people. And so I think that's part of whatever triggers that. I think, you know, it's not just that area, but I'm. I'm sure there's some. Something that triggers that. I think, honestly, like, that's something that you seriously think about. And, you know what's gonna limit you is if you can't overcome it in a professional setting. [00:38:40] Speaker B: Yeah. I have found that just acknowledging it makes it pretty much go away. [00:38:46] Speaker A: For sure. For sure. Like, we were talking about the other night where you. Where you got up at the funeral and you kind of just, wow, there's a lot of people. [00:38:52] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. [00:38:53] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:38:54] Speaker B: Like, I think I remember a Bible study where I was teaching and I turned really red and B actually stopped me because he thought I was having an allergic reaction to something he cooked. So he had to stop me. [00:39:12] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:39:13] Speaker B: And be like, hey, I just gotta. Like, you're very red. And I was just like, oh, yeah. I just. I just get red. And then it just went away. [00:39:21] Speaker A: It's not like you. Your whole face gets red at once. It's like half your neck. [00:39:26] Speaker B: Yeah. It's blotchy. [00:39:27] Speaker A: Then you're. Then your cheek and it's like, oh, shit. Like, dudes, I've never seen anybody die in front of me. [00:39:37] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah, that's. That's gotten a little better. Like, I've just done so many public speaking, and probably not a lot of public speaking compared to some people, but I've done enough of it where now I don't get as read. And if I can make a joke about it, it's pretty much. It goes away. [00:39:56] Speaker A: Yeah. You're gonna be the cool fun bots. Let me ask you something. Do you think you're the most confident and focused version of yourself right now? And I love that they use the word focused, because I know right now I'm not focused on myself in. I'm sorry. I am focused on myself. I'm not focused on where I'm trying. Where I'm trying to go. Career wise, I am. But personal and spiritually and like, I'm. I'm kind of just like. I come home and I zone out now instead of like reading or listening to an educational podcast. I'm like, oh, Instagram, flip, flip, flip. Yeah, you know what I mean? [00:40:44] Speaker B: I feel pretty focused, just not on stuff that matters necessarily, you know, Like, I think it, like in the past and this is, this is kind of part of it and it's, it's just like, it's pessimistic and I don't know what to do about it. You know, it's like I, I got really into, probably around like 22, I got really into the idea of just working my ass off and making tons of money and just like finding a path to like be successful. And I have. I don't think it's an over exaggeration to say every single year has been worse than the year before. Like, I've just failed to make a single decision that improved myself in that way, the way that I was trying to do. But I've had goals in the past for careers, you know, Like, I was very interested in like marketing and copywriting. I was a barber for a little while, you know, like, when I have the thing, I'm very good at chasing it down and learning and becoming really good at that thing. [00:42:04] Speaker A: But yeah, no, I, I get that [00:42:06] Speaker B: for sure now that like, you know, I've put in hundreds of tech support applications and not even gotten, you know, an interview. I've just stopped applying to those. And it's like, well, I guess my tech support career is over, you know, because it's like, it's just that that field is just changing so much that like, I don't think I'm going to get my foot in the door unless I go get a bunch of education, which then is just going to cost me more money. [00:42:37] Speaker A: You don't need education. But are you looking up articles and reading stuff that, about that, that industry? Like, if you know it's changing, someone's got to be talking about it. [00:42:49] Speaker B: Yeah, but like, the way that it's changing is there's just going to be a lot less tech support people now, you know, and, and for sure. My buddy back at my old job who was like the tier three supervisor, he's just been telling me, like, dude, I'm, I'm getting applications from like people who owned their. To come be like a tier one tech here because everything's folding and there's no jobs for these people. And so I get all that. [00:43:18] Speaker A: Like, yeah, I'm not. Fuck the, the reasons or the blocks. Fuck, fuck the barricades. We know they're there now. We go around them. So Instead of saying, hey, I want to get back into that field and do xyz, no, now let's reword that. What you did there to benefit something that can maybe project you couple steps above. You're not in a spot right now to that you have to accept the first offer. But our objective now is to figure out what position is not going to be replaced. Somebody probably has to oversee the robots. Do I want to do that or do I not? What can I use my qualities? Because you don't have to necessarily say that it. You know that. That you're doing xyz. You can word it in a way that positions you better for whatever position or direction you want to turn. So, like, I have a restaurant management resume that is super focused on restaurant stuff. My construction resume is built totally different. And I take the stuff I used in the restaurant one and I put it over there. That benefits me on my resume over here some way. [00:44:39] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:44:39] Speaker A: You know, so I think. I think once you figure out, you do have to figure out where you want to go. And not thinking about it's not going to let it go away. Like, there's going to be a day where you're gonna be like, hey, babe, watch the kid. I need to figure out on paper because we write what I want to do. [00:44:58] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:44:58] Speaker A: And. [00:44:58] Speaker B: And you know, that's. That's the problem I'm having is I don't really know because, like. [00:45:06] Speaker A: All right, I don't know if we want to make an episode about this, but I think we need to, like. No, no, no, no. I'm saying, like, maybe we do. Not this one, but maybe we do. I think you take the week and think about it, and if you still don't know, honestly, I think we. We. We can make an episode of. Because I don't. I. I've never done this, so it's not like I'm coming at you like I know what we're gonna do. That's why I think it would be a good episode. Because I don't think a lot of people out there know what they wanna do. And half the people are in the position they're in by chance. They just so happen to get a job, know somebody, get an opportunity, lack of other applicants, whatever it is, they're in a position where they're like, dude, like, I got a cush job. I didn't go to school for this cush job because my last job was in. I was, you know, I was doing. I was waiting tables and. But because I wanted to transition, I Didn't hide, I waited tables. But I focused on qualities that would benefit me for this certain position. [00:46:11] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:46:11] Speaker A: You know, I didn't come in and say I took their food, ordered their food, dropped it off, did my side work and took off. They were like, you know, I made sure to go above and beyond with customer service because I feel like, you know, or you know, provided customer service. Took training when training could be a one day manual review with your management. But hey, I took customer service training. I'm certified customer service training. I don't know, it's just like that where I think, like, we need to figure out where you want to go and throw some at the wall, dude. [00:46:48] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:46:49] Speaker A: And already do our, do our, do our due diligence the week before so that we're not like on Claude live and there's a bunch of just silent typing. But we do our homework and we come with you and say, hey, this is kind of like. And I wouldn't even read what Claude says or chat GPT. I would just download it and put it to the side and read it live as if I did type it live. And. But I want to come to you with like, this is what I think. Let's think, let's see what Claude put together is how we get to where we want to go. Yeah, I think that'd be cool, dude. [00:47:23] Speaker B: Yeah. Honestly, that'd be neat and it'd be [00:47:27] Speaker A: a cool little experiment. Maybe that turns into something bigger if it actually has something. All right, so in your, you, you said it tonight. What's your best example of an alter ego personified on a worldwide stage? Like Michael Jackson was Michael Jackson. But you know, people that go by their, their alter ego is known worldwide. Well, what the beaner, [00:48:00] Speaker B: what is that? [00:48:01] Speaker A: Kobe Bean Bryant. Oh, also known as the Black Mamba. [00:48:08] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean that, that is probably the best applied I've ever seen. Probably the most notable would be my name for, for the night, which would be Ziggy Stardust. [00:48:25] Speaker A: Okay. [00:48:27] Speaker B: I also, you know, it also becomes like, to what degree is Marilyn Manson himself? You know, I think that's very much an alter ego. [00:48:38] Speaker A: Okay, there's, there is something tonight I'm going to address and it is that it is. Is there a struggle or a con to having a stage name that everybody knows you by, except for maybe your immediate family and friends? And therefore because you go by it, let's say 90, 70% of the time in front of the audience that are even 60, 40, does that 60 kind of whitewash into the 40 where even when you're around your friends and family, there is a genuine you, but there is also that you that you've. You've come so accustomed to knowing as your alter ego. You know, like, not the whole character, but bits and pieces. [00:49:30] Speaker B: Yeah, well, I mean, it is you [00:49:33] Speaker A: for sure. [00:49:34] Speaker B: Like, that's in you, but, you know, so, like, I don't think it's possible to avoid the bleed over entirely. [00:49:43] Speaker A: I would agree. I would agree. Okay, so here's Kobe story. I almost called him something else. I honestly did. I was like, can't get his name out, his pseudonyms. All right, so here's the black Mamba story. Now, mind you, Kobe's first daughter. I. I watched the Muse tonight, which is basically Kobe's story about himself. Like, hey, this is what I was going through, and this is how I created this. And this is. This was the struggle. This is what I went through when my Achilles popped. And so 2003, he has his first daughter. 2004, they're pregnant with his second daughter. That is also the same time he is facing sexual assault, assault charges for that girl in Colorado that's not in the Muse. For some reason, he just kind of jumped. He skipped that. But he talks about it, but he doesn't talk about the girl. He never says the girl. I think it just hit me. I think there's some power in that. Like, there's some power in that. He did not name her in his documentary. Not name her, but he didn't say. There was this. Like, he didn't tell the story. I met a girl at a hotel. She came up, you know, we went to court. She was trying to get money from me. You know, she tried to say I raped her, because that's kind of what came out. She's trying to say I raped her. And he didn't say none of that. He was just like, you know, I. I failed as a husband, you know, and, like, went that route with it. Anyhow, he's facing sexual assault charges, failing marriage in a ruined public image, and so much so that everybody who used to root for him in all the other arenas are now saying, boo, Kobe. Boo Kobe. Like, that's the chant when he gets on the floor. So he's getting in his head now while he's on the court. Boo. Kobe's are coming out. He's got signs up. Kobe's a rapist type stuff. The basketball court went from, like, his safe haven where everything made sense to this just hostile environment. Constantly booing and chants. So he says his feeling he felt paralyzed by overwhelm, by being overwhelmed. He couldn't process the trauma and play basketball at the same time. So he's like, going to his, his fitness trainer. He's hitting extra practices, and he's like, I can't kick this dude. Like, I'm out there and I just, I'm failing. Like, no matter how much I practice, I'm failing. And his, his, like, trainer was like, you need to go see a psychologist. So he goes to psychologist. And he physically and mentally split his identity into. Into two separate identities to survive. Kobe, the man, he handled all the legal battles, the family shit, the trauma. And then his alter ego was the black Mamba. That was the. The guy that goes out. His only job is to destroy his opponent. That's it. Destroy the opponent. The. The Kobe, he was the guy that got a love on his kids, the black mama. No personal life, no anxiety. Didn't care if the crowd booed. Like, I'm going out there to make you boo. Like, I like that attitude. Now. What he did was he went and found an avatar. He was watching Kill Bill and Kill Bill Volume 2 that featured an assassin that used a black mamba. He looked, he looked up the snake. He loved its traits, its aggressive temperament, its length, lethal striking speed. And basically because they shed their skin, Kobe used that as kind of like shedding his old life. Had the psychological trigger when he went out there. Let's rock and roll. So that was really cool. And then we'll, we'll bring up the rest as we go along. But I think that's, that's the key. It's not so much like. And we, we mentioned it earlier when we were like, oh, it's funny. Our alter alter egos, Mike and Chuck, we. They're down three notches. We're. We're Black Mamba in the sense that we're just trying to play the mental game with the physical, right? And right now, what's going to best suit this situation is you want someone that is subservient to what you're saying, doesn't pose as a threat. I'm going to present that because it benefits me more at the end. The ROI percent is greater on being nice to you than to be like, why the you pull me over? I don't have to answer that. The guy on Instagram said, if cop asks you, don't answer it. You actually answered correctly. Dude, if, if they ask you how fast you're going and you say it on camera like, oh, I don't know. I was going 45, no matter what you say, you're going over the speed limit. Usually. Usually something not as much, but over still. So what do you think a benefit is to an alter ego, and what do you think the negatives are? [00:55:15] Speaker B: Well, I think the. The benefit we've already kind of laid out with the compartmentalization and being able to just get past, like, whatever, you know, is holding our, like, our normal selves back from just getting the work at hand done and being able to just go out there and do it mindlessly without having to carry all of that with us to the proverbial court. The negatives, I think, would be like, I already brought up Marilyn Manson. I think that's a pretty good example of someone who got a little bit lost in their alter ego and kind of ended up becoming that person a little bit and. And got themselves into trouble, you know? [00:56:02] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. So. So they did a study on, like, I want to say, like, 25 to 50 kids or something like that, but they gave. I think it was 50. They gave 20. They gave all 50 capes or. No, they gave 25 Batman capes. The other 25 they didn't give capes to. And they went around and was like. Or no, I'm sorry, they all had capes. They asked 25 of them, how good is Batman doing? And the kids would enthusiastically, like, say their number with, like, energy, and it was high. And then they would go to the other 25 kids and they say, how did you do? And they didn't say enthusiastically. And it wasn't high. Most, like, the average on each side was. Was way different. And I. I think I can experience that, or I. And maybe. I don't know if you really were into sports, but I remember as a kid, like, when you put on your Jordans and your Jordan jersey, like, I remember stepping on that court, and I would just look down. I'm like, all right. I felt like Jordan. Like, everything I did, my mannerisms, the way I grabbed my shorts and, like, lean over and chew my gum, like, everything was Jordan. It was like, I am Jordan. And honestly, I would play a lot better those days. Like, I would do stuff where I think back now, and I'm like, damn. I still don't know how I pulled that shot off, but it was because I felt like I. Like, Jordan could do this. It. It wasn't. You know, it wasn't. What's my name, man? Oh, it wasn't Black Mamba. It was Jordan. Jordan was doing this right now. So I could totally, like, get get that. [00:57:51] Speaker B: Yeah, for sure. It reminds me of when I went as Negan for Halloween. [00:57:59] Speaker A: I think that's a perfect example of an alter ego is on Halloween. Yeah, that is a great example. [00:58:05] Speaker B: I was a problem. [00:58:06] Speaker A: Please. [00:58:09] Speaker B: I was Negan. [00:58:12] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:58:13] Speaker B: I was shoving that bat in people's faces. I. I feared. There's no one. [00:58:19] Speaker A: I think Halloween works the best because it provides a. Like a. Like a token. Like, you have something where you're like, this is what he held, and this is how he held it, and this is what he did. Oh, you know what I mean? Like, and that's how I would feel like stepping on a court. Like, all right, we don't talk to nobody. You know, if we do it. Talking about catching up, I honestly think it's a powerful psychological tool. I think that's been proven. It helps you bypass certain fears and anxieties. For sure. What I think is, oh, dude, here's the talking point. The researchers ask kids to do a boring, repetitive task. The kids who were told to ask themselves, is Batman working hard right now? And who put on a cape work significantly longer with more focus than the kids who just asked themselves, am I working hard right now or am I working hard? So the negative side. I think my example of a negative side from a Christian perspective is Beyonce. I think Beyonce has had created Sasha Fierce to protect herself. She says it was stage fright, but I think it was to protect herself from the activities that she was around with her in that when she left Destiny's Child, [00:59:50] Speaker B: such as, [00:59:53] Speaker A: you know, like, the activities with Diddy. I mean, Jay Z and Diddy were best friends, so there's no way Diddy's not involved. He's just not getting named. I think. I think Diddy. I think. I think the whole industry has some shady ass to explain, and I think for her coming up as a wholesome young woman, I think. I think she had to create Sasha Fierce to kind of take on that devilish Persona of, like, you know, I. I don't. I don't care. And I think the wholesome part of her diminished. I. I don't think it's gone, but I almost do think it's gone, because I think she's the only one that really thinks it's still there. But, like the Marilyn Manson story, I think they've lost the old self. [01:00:45] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:00:45] Speaker A: And until they're fully detached from their current systems, they're never gonna find themselves because the current circle sphere that they're in won't let them leave. [01:00:59] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:00:59] Speaker A: Like, necessarily physically, but you Know, metaphorically, [01:01:03] Speaker B: like, Marilyn Manson really is a dork art kid named Brian Warner. And when you see, like, interviews of him from the 90s when they're, like, trying to blame Columbine on him and Stu, he's, like, very clearly, like, a smart, kind of sarcastic, like, dork, you know, and he doesn't do interviews anymore. And I think it's partly because he doesn't want to talk about all the accusations and stuff, but I think it's also partly that, like, he's gotten so lost in this character that, like, to do an interview would be to, like, bring the real him to light, and he doesn't want to do that anymore. [01:01:50] Speaker A: Oh, that's a good point. Yeah. Yeah. [01:01:53] Speaker B: So, I mean, that's purely speculative, but. [01:01:58] Speaker A: Yeah. No, but it's a good. It's a good, like, speculation. Yeah, sure. It's a good theory. [01:02:03] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:02:04] Speaker A: Todd Herman, like I said, is the leading expert on the practical application of alter egos. Again, don't believe his name. Trying to make some connections here. Shout out to my boy, Todd Herman. [01:02:14] Speaker B: Why would I bleep his name? [01:02:18] Speaker A: Yeah, you don't know who I know. You know. [01:02:21] Speaker B: You don't know who I know. I did. I did want to say this earlier, and I. I don't want to forget the glove compartments locked. So is the trunk in the back. And I know my right, so you're gonna need a warrant for that. [01:02:35] Speaker A: I. I don't know the song 99 [01:02:37] Speaker B: problems in a ain't one hit me. [01:02:40] Speaker A: Oh, dude. Okay, so I'm not a big Jay Z fan. [01:02:43] Speaker B: It's the only song I know. Oh, and in Paris, the only one [01:02:46] Speaker A: I really know is Big Pimping. You know what I mean? [01:02:49] Speaker B: I might know it if I heard it. [01:02:50] Speaker A: But I'm a pimp. He says, I'm a pimp in every sense of the word. Better trust them, believe them. In a cut where I keep them telling me to what? Telling me to be beep. When I'm big in the butt. Yeah, yeah. I don't know the rest, but [01:03:04] Speaker B: I. [01:03:04] Speaker A: So, okay. What. [01:03:07] Speaker B: Sorry, it is off topic. It's sort of. But I did see a cool reel where Jay Z was getting his hair cut, and Rick Rubin, the producer, he barges into the room and he's like, I've got it. You're gonna say the whole chorus acapella. And then it's just gonna end. Hit me, poo. And then it's gonna come in. Musically, he's like, that was his idea. And they got it on video. [01:03:33] Speaker A: That's Cool. Yeah, that's cool. [01:03:34] Speaker B: All right. Anyways, no more music Tourette's. [01:03:37] Speaker A: Do you know any other famous people to have alter egos? [01:03:43] Speaker B: A few. Well, Larry the Cable guy is. Is an alter ego that was a character that he did. I think a better example of that is Andrew Dice Clay. Again, dorky jewelry and. Andrew Dice Clay was just one of many characters that he did on stage, but it became his most popular and now he just goes by that name. That's just his whole personality. Yeah, yeah. So he, he originally was just a stand up comedian, normal guy who did like, you know, five or six crazy characters like that. And then that one just became super popular to the point where I think he was the first comedian to ever sell out Madison Square Garden. And now, you know, that's just who he is. You know, you watch Interview. He's an old man now, but he's still. Oh, yeah, just talks like Andrew Dice Clay, you know, [01:04:39] Speaker A: I think that's another case of like Marilyn Manson, Beyonce. [01:04:43] Speaker B: Yeah, I don't think it had the fallout for him. [01:04:46] Speaker A: No, for sure, but. But that's not a negative one. I don't think it's a negative one because he's a pretty fun loving guy. His Persona is not some. That's like, get the out of my way, you moly. You know, it's like his Persona is like, hey, can a guy get by? You know, I mean, like, so I dare. [01:05:08] Speaker B: Oh, oh, [01:05:12] Speaker A: Little boy Blue. [01:05:16] Speaker B: Chris Gaines. Dude, how do we not talk about Chris Gaines? [01:05:21] Speaker A: God, why do I know that name? [01:05:23] Speaker B: That's Garth Brooks's alter ego. [01:05:27] Speaker A: That's why I know the name. What a weird stage in his life. [01:05:31] Speaker B: Yeah, his serial killer alter ego. [01:05:36] Speaker A: Dude, have you read the. There's like an article that somebody released relating Chris Gaines to like, like that dark side that did kill the people. Did. Did kill the women. [01:05:49] Speaker B: I've heard about it, but mostly only through like Tom Segura joking about it. I haven't really, like, dug into the actual stuff. [01:05:58] Speaker A: So they take Tom Segura, they take his jokes and his claims and what he uses the, the research he used to make his joke. They looked at those people that did the research and then they looked at Chris Gaines and kind of his Persona and some of the things he sang about and they were like, like they just try and draw connections. So I thought it was interesting. Yeah. Do you know who Richard Bachman is? [01:06:26] Speaker B: I do know who Richard Bachman is. Richard Bachman is Stephen King's pseudonym. That. [01:06:35] Speaker A: Okay, so that's what I Was gonna say it's a pseudo writer situation, not so much a alter ego. It was to get around his contract. [01:06:44] Speaker B: Yes. And I didn't know that until you pointed that out, but that makes total sense. But I can't help but notice that under that name, he wrote way different stuff. He didn't write horror. He wrote, like, Stand By Me, Green Mile, and Shawshank Redemption, among other things. [01:07:05] Speaker A: Didn't you bring that up? [01:07:06] Speaker B: I did last. [01:07:07] Speaker A: I did. So. [01:07:08] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:07:08] Speaker A: Okay, so. So Stephen King did that because his contract limited him to one book a year, and it was like a whore publisher. [01:07:19] Speaker B: Mm. [01:07:20] Speaker A: And so he was like, okay, well, I want to write these other stories, and therefore I will go under another name. So I thought it was actually really cool. [01:07:31] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. But I feel like there's something there where he was getting out another part of him by writing, like, way different stuff under that name. And it kind of. [01:07:43] Speaker A: Well, that's what I'm saying. [01:07:44] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:07:44] Speaker A: It shielded right. From under his publisher, for sure. [01:07:48] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:07:49] Speaker A: But, yeah. Yeah. Then, yeah, Stephen King. You automatically hear it. You think horror. Yeah. If you. If. If it was the other way around, you'd probably think some of those other movies before you thought thinner, you know? [01:08:02] Speaker B: Yeah. And I do need to make a correction. I think Green Mile was under his real name because that is kind of a horror story in some aspects. But the other two were Richard Bachman. Richard Bachman wrote a lot of them, but I don't. I don't remember the rest. Then we got Slim Shady. [01:08:28] Speaker A: That's actually what I thought you were going to call me tonight with Slim Shady. [01:08:32] Speaker B: I thought about it. Any of them would have been good. Obviously, I'm the most suited to be Ziggy Stardust, but Slim Shady. [01:08:44] Speaker A: Well, that's why you're him. [01:08:46] Speaker B: Yeah, I. I didn't know this either. I thought that he just had multiple names. I didn't realize, like, how deep it went, that, like, Slim Shady was an alter ego that would say, like, crazy shit, you know? Like, I thought, yeah, yeah. I never really picked up on that. But I guess Slim Shady was, like, for the intrusive, controversial thoughts and was not, you know, subject to censorship in the same way that Marshall Mathers was. [01:09:19] Speaker A: Hey, dude, I'm looking up Richard Bachman stuff, and it talks about him being Stephen King, but his bibliography is Blaze in 2007, the Regulators, 1996, the Bachmann Books, 1985, fucking Thinner, 1984, the Running Man, Roadwork, the Long Walk, and Rage. They don't even have. What's it what's the other one we were talking about? [01:09:58] Speaker B: Shawshank Redemption. [01:10:00] Speaker A: Yes. [01:10:00] Speaker B: Was I totally wrong? [01:10:04] Speaker A: Dude? Somebody joked about their dad calling. Was it Robert Redford? Gay? He's like, oh, yeah, he's gay. [01:10:16] Speaker B: Oh, it was Tommy Lee Jones. [01:10:17] Speaker A: Tom Segura. No, it's Tom Segura. And he was like, oh, yeah. No, Who. Who's Tommy? Yes, you're right. Tommy Lee Jones. I thought of the guitarist Tommy Lee. Yes. And he was like, tommy Lee Jones is gay. Oh, yeah. You don't know. Everybody knows he's gay. And he's like, oh, dude. So forever I thought he was gay. And then, like, he meets him or does some work with him and then come to find out, he's like, hey, that's what you're doing to me right now, dude. I'm out there spewing this shit. I'm like, yeah, Stephen King, Richard Bachman. Yeah. Shawshank Redemption. Look it up. [01:10:53] Speaker B: You know, I. I don't know where I got that. [01:10:58] Speaker A: Over here, looking like an idiot. Why? You made me look like a fool at night. [01:11:02] Speaker B: Hold on, hold on. I might. I might have some information here. [01:11:09] Speaker A: You better find something, bro. [01:11:10] Speaker B: I'm out here based on a Stephen King novella. [01:11:16] Speaker A: I put. I put my name on it. [01:11:19] Speaker B: I've. If it makes you feel better, I've said that to way more people for probably over a decade. [01:11:27] Speaker A: Yeah, but they expect it from you. [01:11:29] Speaker B: Yeah. And you know who very likely told me that? Very likely it was JJ who told me that, and I just didn't. Oh, yeah, because he's a huge Stephen King fan. [01:11:42] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. He's a little nerd. [01:11:44] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:11:45] Speaker A: So this is where I get into the stage names like, you know, like, Ralph Lauren was Born, Ralph Lich, Lift Shits. That makes sense. I'm not putting Lip Shits on my body, [01:12:04] Speaker B: Dude. I. You were too old for Rugrats. But there was a child. [01:12:10] Speaker A: What? I watched them. [01:12:12] Speaker B: Oh, cool. So you remember the child psychologist who was Dr. Shit Lips? Or was it Lip Shits? [01:12:20] Speaker A: I didn't watch all of them. I think it was. Dude, it might have been Lip Shits. [01:12:24] Speaker B: He. It was either Shit Lips or Lip Shits. But he. He was a recurring character. They read his books and shit, and then he somehow showed up at the house one day. But Lift Shits is a tough name for. For Nice clothes, [01:12:44] Speaker A: that. And for children's cartoon. [01:12:47] Speaker B: Yeah, well, you know, you're flying under the radar, some of that stuff. [01:12:51] Speaker A: So alter egos and stage names, they basically share the same foundation or the core foundation at Least which is protection through separation. The difference alter ego is a behavioral thing. It's used to unlock certain traits like courage, basically to get a job done. And a stage name is an emotional shield, creates a boundary. If the public rejects the actor, they're rejecting the stage name. Protecting the private person's self esteem. [01:13:27] Speaker B: Yeah, that's why strippers probably use them. [01:13:31] Speaker A: Yeah. Dude, I saw a billboard. It was on Instagram, but a billboard that said now hiring the class of 2025. [01:13:40] Speaker B: God damn. That's even. Even when it's like 2007, it just seems like what? [01:13:57] Speaker A: Yeah. So the evolution of Kobe becoming the Black Mamba, it went from a shield. He was just trying to distance himself, separate himself for protection, and it turned into a weapon. After the personal crisis passed, he kept the alter ego's traits. Obsession, fearlessness, preparation. It basically became like this. Less. Less about like separating from trauma and more about trying to be better. Better than the man yesterday. And so the cool part about this actually was in 2003. Now I heard that the Black Mamba was actually created eight years prior to him actually stating the name. However, in 2003, Nike. This is. This is when he's going through his assault stuff and he has to create the Black Mamba. Nike and Jordan. The brand plan to use Black Mamba nickname for the Air Jordan 19. However, Michael Jordan personally killed the multi million dollar deal because he. It says he was terrified of snakes. I've also heard it was out of respect for. For Kobe because a couple months later, Kobe independently adopted the Black Mamba. So the homework for. For my. For me, because it seems like you've already done it and now we're gonna get there is we want to give. I. We want to give the audience and ourselves a blueprint. This is the blueprint for creating an alter ego. Okay. All right, so I'll do the first one. Define the field of play. Where do you need this? You can't use it everywhere. This isn't something you use everywhere. This is something specific. A field of play where you struggle. You know, whether it's public speaking, negotiating a raise, being present with your kids after a stressful workday. Whatever it is you put it on or, you know, you. You let it possess who you are. [01:16:11] Speaker B: You. [01:16:11] Speaker A: You try and emulate that person, I guess is probably the best way to put it. So first, pick a. Pick a field of play for me. Mines work, but I'm realizing now I can have one at home, so I might do that as well because I've been a little irritable lately and lacking of patience with people. And so for me, I think right now I need to put one on just to kind of put one on. All right, so go ahead. Take the next one, man. [01:16:45] Speaker B: So you identify the superpowers. What traits are required to win? So you basically want to identify the exact traits that are needed to succeed in what you've already established, which is the field of play. So you've kind of already defined, like, what area you need this in. Now, what traits are going to thrive in that environment? You know, it might be sales calls specifically. You know, you're going to need, like, unshakeable confidence or empathy, listening skills. You're going to need to be articulate. You know, you're going to need those things. So you need to have your field of play and then the traits that are going to thrive in that field. [01:17:36] Speaker A: Amen. So what Kobe did was next, as he was watching Kill Bill, he saw the black mamba and was like, I want to know more about that. That snake. So who embodies these traits or what embodies these traits? And. And this could be the real fun part. Now you're gonna find a person, animal, fictional character, whoever it is, that perfectly embodies these superpowers. It could be your grandmother. Doesn't have to be anybody famous. Could be James Bond. Be a, you know, a gorilla, whatever. A gorilla for the calm dominance, maybe your grandma for endless patience, whatever it may be. Now, you got to find your avatar. Like I was saying, when I put on that Jordan jersey, my avatar was Jordan. When I walk down the street or walk into a room, the avatar I think of is. Is. Is Chucky. Like, I'm walking in with confidence. So choose your avatar. [01:18:36] Speaker B: And I think that perfectly. That's a perfect example of the fourth thing, which is your activation totem. And this is going to be the physical trigger that you use to get into the character or the alter ego. So you need, like, a physical object that bridges your psychological gap between the two personalities. Basically. [01:19:00] Speaker A: Yeah. For me, it was the jersey on the basketball court. [01:19:03] Speaker B: Exactly. [01:19:04] Speaker A: Yeah. For Superman, it's Clark Kent's glasses. When he turns back, he takes off the glasses. He's Superman. [01:19:11] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:19:11] Speaker A: When he puts him on, he's Clark Kent. Yeah. [01:19:14] Speaker B: What would. What would be your totem for your. Let's say home. Let's say the home. [01:19:21] Speaker A: Okay, so home's probably the easiest, because I think my totem for home, because I have a routine when I get home already. [01:19:29] Speaker B: It's a Jordan jersey. [01:19:30] Speaker A: Get out of my Nah. It's my. I was gonna say. What's. I was gonna say Duran Duran T shirt, but I forget [01:19:43] Speaker B: it's a half shirt. [01:19:46] Speaker A: Yeah. I come home and I get out of my work clothes. I put everything away. I put my pins away. I put my handkerchief away. I take off my watch, my necklace, and then I go to my clothes, hang up my clothes, clean my boots, put them down. And I think when I do all that, if I just had, like, a bracelet that replaced where my watch was, you know, it would be like that good reminder, because I would take it off every morning and I'd put it on every. Every. Every evening. And I know when I put it on, okay, like, it's gonna. It's not so much that I'm gonna be like, okay, now I'm the good dad, but it's going to bring to reminder, patience, love, grace. You know, as I'm putting it on, I'm like, all right, these are the things I'm putting this on for. To be a better dad. And I know what it takes to be a better, better dad. [01:20:36] Speaker B: Yeah. You know, 100%. [01:20:39] Speaker A: But my homework now is next week, I will have an alter ego, and I will know what area of life I want it in. [01:20:46] Speaker B: Why don't you do two? [01:20:49] Speaker A: What do you mean? [01:20:50] Speaker B: Do one for home and one for work. Just never be yourself again. [01:20:57] Speaker A: Why don't you take everything you are and just throw it out? [01:21:02] Speaker B: I mean, I personally will be sad to see it go, but if. If you're struggling in both areas, maybe you bit this one. [01:21:11] Speaker A: I'll come up with two. I'll come up with two. Yeah, here's the thing. Here's the thing that. That amazed me watching this. This video, this documentary is. We know from either last week or a couple weeks ago that there's words, there's power in your words, and there's power in other people's words because they can sometimes redirect you. They sometimes discourage you. And so watching this and, like, on a public stage, he snaps his Achilles. Everybody's talking about, oh, that's what ended Shaquille o' Neal's career and Charles Barkley and Isaiah Thomas. And, you know, like, they. [01:21:57] Speaker B: They. [01:21:58] Speaker A: They retired. And those who do come back are never the same. And this dude's coming back at 37 with a snapped Achilles. Like, you know, like, it's just not gonna happen. Like, nah. But. And that's why I texted you earlier. There's moments where the will is greater than words, like, when you are so focused, and that's why I like that word earlier, that confidence, focused version of yourself. When you are focused, you're not listening to the discouragement. And I think that focus has to be a part of your alter ego. Like, that is a key. Confidence and focus have to be a part of your alter ego, whether it's dealing with fear, public speaking, parenting, whatever it is. That confidence and focus needs to be in your. Like, in that description of whatever fucking avatar you pick. [01:22:59] Speaker B: Yeah, Yeah. I'm just trying to think through that. Sorry. I know it's dead air. I'm pretty tired. I think that I'm gonna keep working on mine as well. I will present it because I promised I would tonight. But I think you, like, hearing you think through some of your things showed me, like, some deficiencies in how I formulated mine. So there's room to improve on these a little bit. But let me pull this up real quick. Okay. [01:23:42] Speaker A: Okay. Can I guess at your name? [01:23:45] Speaker B: You're not gonna get it, but go ahead. [01:23:48] Speaker A: Oh, it's. It's not like. Okay. Oh, dude, I want to say, like, Sid. [01:23:59] Speaker B: No, I'm Snake now. No. What was. Oh, what was his name? Sternum. I think the kid's name was Sternum. Some Nickelodeon show. Okay. So defining the field of play. I think my biggest issue right now is parenting, and I want to avoid frustrations and be more kind and loving, but also firm and disciplinary. So it's kind of, you know, I [01:24:42] Speaker A: think confidence and focus covered both of those too. [01:24:45] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:24:46] Speaker A: Confidence behind the discipline part focused on when you get up. This is the person you got to put on for a portion of the day. [01:24:54] Speaker B: Yeah, that does kind of span, like, a lot of the day. So that's part of. [01:25:02] Speaker A: Yeah, but don't. Don't look at the whole day. [01:25:04] Speaker B: Sure. [01:25:05] Speaker A: Break it up to street lights and corners. [01:25:07] Speaker B: Right. [01:25:08] Speaker A: I'm just going to be in this alter Ego to 11. Yeah, 11:00am yeah, that's 11:00am I'm going to go outside and take a quick break and take some me time, then I'm going to come back in, put it back on. [01:25:18] Speaker B: Yeah. Till 1:00am yeah, that's kind of what I figured when. When I was kind of hearing you think through yours a little bit. But we. I can kind of maybe hammer that out more. So I did come up with different traits, but I think you're right. Confidence, that. That would be a huge one. The traits that are required to win. I wrote down patience, love, wisdom, fortitude. I think fortitude kind of covers the confidence part. You know, having the confidence to see things through and not, you know, not turn back and not doubt yourself. So here's where it gets fun. Who embodies these traits? Well, I'll tell you, he's a, he's, he's a great guy. His name is Nelson Chamberlain. [01:26:17] Speaker A: Is that the parenting guy? [01:26:19] Speaker B: Nope, nope, I made it up. But his name is Nelson Chamberlain. He's a gentle middle aged man. He's a deacon in the Lutheran church. His kids are his whole world and he never gets frustrated with them. He's fun, but, you know, he's a little square. He's a great cook. His kids love to come to him for advice because he always knows what to say. You know, he's always got a good story. He's always got a good, a good, you know, good parable to tell. [01:26:56] Speaker A: Second question. Is this somebody at your church? [01:26:59] Speaker B: No, no, this is. I mean, if it's anyone, it's Ned Flanders. I really tried to come up with a completely new person and, and the physical trigger, and I think you're gonna like this. His physical trigger is his best polo tucked into his slacks with a nice pair of penny loafers and a pair of glasses. [01:27:28] Speaker A: Now that's a lot of triggers. [01:27:30] Speaker B: I came up with that cuz it was funny. And now I see that's not really something I'm going to be able to employ throughout the day when I need it. [01:27:39] Speaker A: Yeah, your, your whole wardrobe's going to change. [01:27:42] Speaker B: Yeah. Which would be hilarious. Don't, don't lose sight of how funny that would be. [01:27:49] Speaker A: You would be the, the complete opposite of Marilyn Manson and Beyonce. [01:27:55] Speaker B: Yes. That's, that's why I thought it was funny. There is a great American dad episode because the alien has to have Personas that he takes on to be like, out in public and not, you know, be known as an alien. And there's a great episode where one of his alter egos goes rogue and like starts, he like disassociates and like starts having his own life and like his own fiance and everything. And he's like a like a 1950s like Dork who works at like a Bible company and stuff. Like got a, like a transatlantic accent. See? Yeah. I'll tell you what, I'll tell you something for free. And then he basically has to get his identity back from this alter ego. It's a great episode. [01:28:54] Speaker A: Great episode. I have to check that one out. I started to watch that. [01:28:58] Speaker B: Yeah. Gets better. Like season, you know, 2, 3, 4. [01:29:05] Speaker A: So let me ask you, are you keeping this alter ego? [01:29:08] Speaker B: I'm gonna work on it and make it more practical, but I think. [01:29:12] Speaker A: Are you keeping the name? [01:29:13] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Nelson Chamberlain. [01:29:16] Speaker A: What's the name again? [01:29:16] Speaker B: Nelson Chamberlain is the sweetest guy I've ever met in my life. Yeah, No, I think. I think maybe just the glasses. I think I could get a slick pair of glasses. They're gonna be, you know, they're probably either gonna be wayfarers or maybe like the. The more boxy ones, you know, the big kind of horn. [01:29:40] Speaker A: You don't have vision problems, right? [01:29:42] Speaker B: I do not. So I can just get fake ones. [01:29:45] Speaker A: That's perfect. So you could buy them anywhere. Perfect. Yeah. [01:29:47] Speaker B: Yeah. So. [01:29:49] Speaker A: All right, shoot me. Or shoot me your address. I'll send you what I think would look good, and then as far as, like, picture. And if you like them, I'll have them just delivered to your house. [01:30:01] Speaker B: No way. Really? [01:30:04] Speaker A: Yeah. All right, well, go on Amazon. Send me. Send me a picture. [01:30:07] Speaker B: Let me. Let me decide whether that's really the. The way to go, because your bracelet idea sounds a lot easier. So let me. Let me just see if there's something easier I can do. But. [01:30:20] Speaker A: Yeah, but glasses is a great thing to do. You are going to answer some questions. [01:30:25] Speaker B: Yeah, that's kind of what I'm afraid of. [01:30:28] Speaker A: There's going to be people asking, but it's one thing. I have to wear glasses to read, so I have glasses on a lot. [01:30:41] Speaker B: And I think definitely he should probably have a chain for those glasses based on what I know about him. You know, I don't know him super well yet. [01:30:51] Speaker A: A chain? [01:30:52] Speaker B: Yeah, you know, so they can dangle around his neck when he's not wearing. [01:30:56] Speaker A: I fucking knew that was the chain you were talking about. All right, when you have time during this next week, send me a link to glasses and chains. [01:31:11] Speaker B: We'll see. I. If I come up with something easier. I'm not gonna make you do that. [01:31:18] Speaker A: We'll see. You figure it out. But I'm here to help. [01:31:21] Speaker B: All right, I. I hope that lived up to the hype. What I. What I was able to bring. [01:31:28] Speaker A: It was great. I loved it, man. It was a good time. [01:31:33] Speaker B: All right. What else you got? [01:31:36] Speaker A: I have nothing else, man. Yeah, I thought I had a lot more. [01:31:41] Speaker B: Not did. [01:31:42] Speaker A: We looked a lot more. Covered a lot on the paper. I thought so, too. [01:31:46] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:31:47] Speaker A: But then I look and it says hour 36, and I'm like, damn, maybe we didn't. [01:31:50] Speaker B: Well, at least an hour of that, if not more, is. Was just the alter ego stuff. We didn't talk that much before we got into it. [01:32:00] Speaker A: We really didn't. That's why you really need to get a job, bro. Like, like, hey, how's your week? You're like, yeah, nothing's changed, really. I was home. [01:32:08] Speaker B: I have a real hard time remembering things that happen because, like, sometimes I'll get off the call with you and be like, oh, yeah, that crazy thing happened. I should have talked about that. I almost need to. [01:32:21] Speaker A: I do the same, dude. [01:32:22] Speaker B: I need to make a list of, like, notable things throughout the week to talk about on the podcast. But, yeah, I tried my best with the. The peaceful parenting argument, but that was. [01:32:38] Speaker A: It was. It was a good piece. Yeah, I do the same thing, though. Like, I'll. I'm like, I don't know what I did Monday, you know, like. [01:32:51] Speaker B: Cause I repeat the same routine. I think I used to have a voice, but then again, that might have been a dream. Every day is exactly the same. There is no loss here and there. There is no pain. [01:33:19] Speaker A: Who is that? Like, why do you know that song Nine Inch Nails? Oh, I guess you would know that song. [01:33:25] Speaker B: I love Nine Inch Nails. [01:33:26] Speaker A: I'm thinking it was like, dude, I thought it was Debbie Gibson. [01:33:31] Speaker B: I do. I do bring something of a Debbie Gibson vibe when I say [01:33:39] Speaker A: I was like, damn, dude, Debbie Gibson. Maybe Justin Bieber, I don't know. But that's a pop song for sure. Let's see. That's how important music tracks are. [01:33:48] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, I'll send it to you. I know you won't listen to it, but I'll do my due diligence. You've definitely heard it in movies, [01:34:00] Speaker A: probably. So. Yeah, if you say that. We both watch a lot, so. All right, guys, this has been Pseudonyms. [01:34:06] Speaker B: Yeah, thanks, Matt. This was a really great idea. We'll text about what we're going to do next week. You. [01:34:13] Speaker A: I think if we go back to our old text, there was something we had for next week already. [01:34:18] Speaker B: Okay, I'll go check that out. All right, guys, thank you for listening to Pseudonyms. Have a great week. [01:34:28] Speaker A: Late.